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Which is worse, a pity party or the lies?
(Preview)
I used to get endless promises about stopping drinking and making changes. Of course this never happens, since Al-Anon I now have the occasional ability to just ignore him and know it's the disease feeding me the BS I want to hear. BUT lately there are no more empty promises. My AH now likes to throw hims...
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CoopsMom
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10
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601
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How to find God's will?
(Preview)
Hi! Any thoughts are SO welcome on this:)))
Shortly about the situation. Married 10 years, drinking was always a problem, denied in the beginning by both, now I think we both know there is alcoholism. Last year has been picking up the fruits of the disease at the highest point such as 3 jobs lost, DUI, n...
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Venera
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6
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2507
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Hope For Today April 7
(Preview)
Good morning MIP: Today's reading is about turning our lives, and our situations, our worries over to the care of our HP. This is a great reminder for me that my will isn't the thing that knows best for me. I have come to learn that the things that have happened and are happening and will happen in my life...
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yanksfan51
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7
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926
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new
(Preview)
hi everyone, new here. I guess, I don't really know what else to do at this point. So, for starters when I met my husband, he drank heavily -- but I didn't pay much mind to it because he was in his early 20's, and I had grown up with an alcoholic mother and brother-- basically, this was normal to me. I also ha...
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rt
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9
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551
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NOW....I'm ticked off
(Preview)
Ok, so last night (after I posted about the divorce being filed) my son came to me and told me that his dad said some things last Sunday while he was spending the night. Apparently, STBXAH said that I was pawning ds off on him. Dad also kept saying, "You don't have to stay here if you don't want to, I c...
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andromeda
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6
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675
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detaching with love.
(Preview)
it still aches but not as much as clinging to the rope and getting whiplashed. I seperated from my husband, though he did move back in a few times before finally moving to live above a bar. Sometimes we get along, sometimes we don't but overall he's still someone I call a friend. However, as as are loathe t...
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a4l
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3
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543
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realisation
(Preview)
You know how you can read something over and over and hear it over and over but you dont quite get it? Well, ive only just come to realise that alcoholism is a family disease!!! Its taken me 3 years for that one to penetrate. This program just keeps giving me more and more. I was listening to aa speakers on y...
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el-cee
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3
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479
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(((((Family)))))
(Preview)
Am told to keep down and stay quiet so am doing that. I came to check in and listen and learn. You all are the same dedicated family I put aside with love just before going to be self-responsible. I'm back home now more of just a jelly fish in the moment following AFG suggestions and listening t...
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Jerry F
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12
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592
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Divorce papers filed today
(Preview)
I am having mixed emotions, mostly sadness. Not sad about the marriage ending but sad for my xah and where he is today. He showed up at court (we filed at the same time: I filed the petition and he signed the acceptance of service) 20 minutes late and reeking of alcohol. He was mean and made snarky comme...
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andromeda
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14
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709
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Alcoholic behavior
(Preview)
I'm confused by this term. I see a lot of people using it to describe 1. Newly sober behavior 2. Dry drunk behavior 3. Behaviors they just don't like or agree with 4. Jerky A-hole behavior 5. Erratic behavior To me, sober people show a lot of the behaviors that are mentioned too. Alcoholics don't have...
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pinkchip
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17
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770
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Staying strong
(Preview)
It is difficult , but we HAVE to do it My situation is I HAVE to stay strong for my 7 yr old Grandsons sake who is in foster care at present but social services are going to reassess me to look after him So it is VITAL I stay strong with my DD who is an alcoholic She is down right now and her sister is worried abo...
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Nannynoo
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26
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973
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Expectations
(Preview)
Realizing how many expectations I had about moving out. Moved myself and kids out Friday, AH didn't change his behavior the last weeks we were there, just mainly sulked and moped around. the expectations I had on this change included 1) me being happier/relieved - really not there yet, why did I thi...
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Kerrymom
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2
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407
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FEELINGS
(Preview)
2nd trip to rehab didnt help ah. or should i say, he didnt follow through on it at all. I am going through the same sad,angry,empty feeling while he repeats the same ah behavior he always does. I must get off this treadmill or i will completely lose myself. Yes, I have been applying alanon tools but they ar...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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391
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having a hard time today
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- It's been a while since I've posted, although I have been here reading and learning along with all of you. I am having a tough time with something and am going to get it off my chest. I will do my best to make a long story shorter. A couple of years ago, in a last ditch effort to try an...
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yanksfan51
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12
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845
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Drug addiction ???
(Preview)
My daughter is a single mom with 2 children . Girls. She had been in a very abusive relationship with the father of her children. I got her out of that - and she was at a women's shelter for a while. Then housing. Things worked good for 2 years until I bought a mobile home for them as a family home.She was supp...
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anxious
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7
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747
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Need Help dealing with the emotions caused by 22 yr old AD
(Preview)
My AD has had a problem for a couple of years, but managed to live her life, school, work etc. most recently she started dating a guy with a record for drugs who was on probation. She ended up staying there many nights and then I found out from her friends, there were domestic assault issues with his past...
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WebD
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14
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712
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My Progress
(Preview)
Today I was comparing my yoga posture to that of the teacher. I am new at it. When she referenced our heads ON THE FLOOR (mine wouldn't even come close), I realized it was closer today than it was last time. I need to be faithful to trying, and I trust I will progress. I know that's how this works, too. I'm no...
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Jill
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4
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436
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New to board - husband alcoholic
(Preview)
I feel like I can't handle it anymore. He drinks usually 2 750 ML Whiskey or Vodka a week. All I do is worry about him. I tell him how I feel and he either jokes about, tells me to just worry about myself, or turns it around and says that there are things I do that bother him but he doesn't bug me about it. If I get r...
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tjk
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9
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704
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right here, right now.....
(Preview)
Everythjng is perfect. Just as it should be. Right in this moment is happiness and peace. Unhappiness, anxiety, worry is not about this very moment, its about yesterday and tomorrow. I cant change yesterday and tomorrow so i will stay where the peace is, right here in this moment.
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el-cee
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9
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506
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New to the forum
(Preview)
Hi, I am trying new things in al-anon right now because I am not in a position at the moment to get to regular face to face meetings. I have a sponsor and some al-anon friends but I am missing the contact of having that readily available source of community. I have tried the phone bridge meetings which are w...
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hopefortoday29
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8
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708
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Easter this and Easter that.
(Preview)
For years now I have allowed my daughter to go to her fathers house for Christmas and Easter. In my mind, she would have lots more fun there as they have little kids and make a big deal out of these festivals. I spent last Christmas sitting alone in a room being sad. I had it in my mind that spending these happ...
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missmeliss
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7
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742
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DENIAL
(Preview)
acronym for "DON'T EVEN NO I AM LYING" ! how perfect is this....
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LinSC
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7
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887
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helped to die
(Preview)
I learned i was an enabler to alcoholics. It meant i helped the disease grow strong, i gave money, a soft place to land, excuses and lies for the drinker, let them verbally abuse me, put up with anything that was thrown at me, and what i didnt realise was that this encouraged and assisted the drinking. Th...
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el-cee
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21
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1019
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Happy easter
(Preview)
Today is a good day . I got out of the hospital last Thursday and put on the right meds and hopeful I can stay in the moment and in the day . I let myself become a wreck and ended up having a mental emtional breakdown that lead me in the hospital . I was running around with my head cut off , worried about the week th...
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Wisdom67
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6
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598
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New to Al-Anon. Need help/advice
(Preview)
I am new to Al-Anon (I have never been to a meeting and this is my first time posting). I have 5 months sober today and am going to AA. My wife still drinks and is anti AA, although she has told me she sees how it has made positive changes in me. She asks me questions about AA and I do my best to answer them to my u...
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mikenusaf
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10
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928
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help
(Preview)
Hello I am 29 years Kenyan girl with a 10 months son,,I have no job ,,,please I need a sponsor,,,help me,,,I am single
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Hildabenta
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7
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371
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Sigh. Not my finest day today.
(Preview)
Oooh here's my illness in full swing. Wow! I haven't seen A for maybe 5 weeks. I haven't wanted to talk to him really because he just wants to tell me about how I should give him my old car because he cn't get a job to pay me back he thousands of dollars he borrowed from me unless I do...blah blah blah whatever....
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missmeliss
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26
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1151
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Relapse
(Preview)
Is it simply the nature of alcoholics to lie and try to hide relapse? can alcoholics be honest about cravings and relapse, or is that expecting too much? Specifically be honest with their significant other?
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shealah
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3
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637
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Hotel Room - 1st time
(Preview)
So, she came home, drunk, today. Of course she claims she wasn't drunk. It was the Tequila flavored dipping sauce from Zaxby's (a chicken fast food chain out here). Still, she blew a 0.0701. Not legally drunk ,no. But with 2 DUIs (but only 1 conviction, thank you connecticut) its a bad sign when she...
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AWSmith
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17
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927
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Happy Easter :)
(Preview)
Happy Easter to those who color eggs, stay up late making baskets, having the late night sugar rush, and celebrate the holiday in the Christian sense of the word. Let me just say the weird crazy dreams that I had this early AM. UGH! LOL .. they were very strange and not happy at all that's what I get for e...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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607
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Anxiety Attack
(Preview)
K well for some reason I have been getting triggered and my anxiety attacks have started again. I have been practicing so I responded to it better this time. I went to a chair... Focused on the present moment and told my body it was safe. It worked just makes you completely exhausted!!! I cannot wait for s...
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Truth
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5
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596
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Make it your own
(Preview)
Tomorrow is Easter so today was the Easter Egg Hunt for one of my jobs and the job falls to ME to organize the event - EEEK! Years ago when I first took on the job, after getting refusal of help from the previous organizer (she was mad), someone told me to make it my own, so I did. I make it fun for ME; spend $850 M...
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likemyheart
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3
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558
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I need help please
(Preview)
My son is a 24/7 alcoholic. I am at the end of my sanity. I have no support system with in my family and friends. My health is declining rapidly and I have severe panic attacks. I don't know how to help him. I feel like I have already lost him to this disease. I don't know where else to turn. Please can...
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Lenora
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13
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858
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Bed wetting? Sorry if TMI
(Preview)
I haven't seen this raised before, and frankly, I haven't been able to find much on the web about this. One of my qualifiers is a healthy 25 yr old male whose drinking has escalated from an occasional binge to 5x to 7x weekly binge. I've found evidence (in my laundry room) that he is wetting the bed about 2x...
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Irish7
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7
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3118
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C2C - March 31
(Preview)
I liked today's reading as it compliments my program of recovery very well. It talks about how not being hard on ourselves - and putting something up on the shelf for a while and even having a laugh or some fun - can help is come back to our problems refreshed. Aaaaaahhhhh. this is perfect for me, as someti...
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WorkingThroughIt
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3
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482
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Living with a binge drinker
(Preview)
This is my first time posting on anything like this so sorry if I ramble a little bit. I've been with my husband almost 9 years, 3 married. He has always seemed to have a little problem with alcohol. Drinking too much too quickly, especially on an empty stomach. When he drinks like this he will get very me...
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Amorris89
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7
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1341
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positive thinking!
(Preview)
I am realizing that thinking good healthy positive thoughts hasn't been a habit of mine.After ending my relationship with my A I thought I would be very peaceful and happy.Well it turns out my little brain is my own worst abuser at times and I can work myself into quite a frenzy.Something like chicken...
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mjferg
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8
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604
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Biting my tongue ..
(Preview)
This is really difficult for me to do. A few things going on at the moment. No communication for my son's actual birthday .. and I refer to the kids as my kids. 2 hours a month doesn't qualify as a parent, it is more like an Uncle removed by marriage kind of deal. That's his issue not mine and definitely n...
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SerenityRUS
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10
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668
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Hope For Today Mar 31
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone-- This reading speaks to our relationship with our Higher Power. Although I never have felt hatred or even fear toward God, I can relate to the reading as far as feeling my relationship with my HP feeling strengthened since coming into the program. I am grateful that growing up...
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yanksfan51
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5
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645
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Frustrating day at work
(Preview)
One of those days....actually the whole week. It was filled with drama. Everyone was acting like they wanted to kill each other. Everyone was complaining. It was volatile and umcomfortable. All other admin but me was out...bad planning overall. There were a million fires tg at got lit over stupid cr...
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pinkchip
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14
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1024
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NAVAJO AREA
(Preview)
WHERE ARE THERE ALANON MEETINGS IN FARMINGTON NM OR CLOSE TO THE 4 CORNERS (RED MESA AREA?)
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loser
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2
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488
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what a difference a year makes
(Preview)
When I was an alanon newbie, at times I thought some of the member responses were nearly callous in response to the shares on the board. One that came to me (over a year ago) really hurt my feelings and I thought something was wrong with that responder. So now I have almost two years in, and my sister in an...
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Lyne
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2
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520
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Today, I am thankful for...
(Preview)
The internet! Because our service was disconnected over the weekend, and I wasn't able to pop online for support. SO thankful to have it connected again today! What are you thankful for today?
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Skorpi
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7
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659
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Good books for self help
(Preview)
Hello, I posted yesterday about my son who is an alcoholic. I got a lot of good advice, but I am still really scared of the whole process. Will I have to live the rest of my life like this? If so, then it is not much of a life to live. Could someone please give me the names of some good books that might help. I...
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Lenora
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4
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570
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Still unmanageable in many areas .. shoulding on me (shame)
(Preview)
it is so hard to have this many years in program and still recognize the reality of step 1 for me .. know I will always be on it no matter what step i'm on because the powerless to me is many things but lacking clarity (wisdom) is a huge piece of why i am powerless .. shoulding on myself this morning .. should be...
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MeTwo2
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4
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663
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Ambivalent
(Preview)
Hi everyone! Lately I have been feeling this way towards my AH. Simultaneous mixed feelings of starting to trust and then the I can't trust you hits. I can't really declare how I feel about things. Nothing is going wrong or is horrible, it's just weird. The other day his Probation Officer showed up on ou...
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Flower49
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3
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551
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I Wonder When People say my experiences don't define me....?
(Preview)
I've always thought the opposite, here on earth my experiences help define who I am. In a sense that you learned something from your experiences good or bad, and you know to watch it next time, or keep your mind open, I think experiences do mold me into a different person for better or worse, and hopefull...
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LinSC
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10
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2902
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separation
(Preview)
I took my husband to treatment at the end of December. We had been separated before that but had discussed our marriage and decided that we were going to stay married. After his 28 day program he decided that he was going to stay where he went to treatment in a halfway house. I was fine with that. I thought w...
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tnwife
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12
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800
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I love you....
(Preview)
I am simply the physical manifestation of what I was created to be in spirit. A energy of love and light in the world. This was my form prior to any physical form being developed. Now, I am visible, touchable, and simply being carried within the capsulation of my physical being. My life experiences...
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John
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8
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876
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Non-drinking blacouts?
(Preview)
My AH is sober 83 days. Saturday night he came to bed around 3:30 am (he stays up late all the time) he was acting weird. Like he had been drinking. I got up in the morning and he had cleaned up the kitchen including bagging up two bags of trash to go out. The next day he said "thank you for ba...
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ladybugnessa
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8
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694
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An enlightened morning
(Preview)
I have been working so hard on focusing on me that I think I may have actually been being more than lovingly detached. I think I've been a bit nasty, just waiting for the next shoe to drop so I could prove to myself what an asshat my qualifier really is. And the fact is, yes, yes he's been making mistakes he...
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GreenerGal
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6
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518
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WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Trust; 3 A's (Awareness, Acceptance, Action); Changing the Things I Can
(Preview)
WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Trust; 3 A's (Awareness, Acceptance, Action); Changing the Things I Can The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the ser...
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shimo
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0
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427
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ACOA friend needs intervention, what are the steps?
(Preview)
Hey hey everyone! I have been wanting to do this for awhile but kept thinking things would resolve on their own... lesson learned! My friend, and ex partner (let's call her "Jane"), needs some help. I will give a run-down below of what has went down. Edit: Jane and I only recently (approx....
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MidCenturyModern
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10
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795
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Sticking with the Program
(Preview)
So, My wife's first court date was yesterday. Just the initial appearance and signature bond. Today, she got a letter notifying her of a sentencing that happened for her refusal to allow a blood test without a warrant. (Since it is her third, the blood draw instead of the breathalyzer was required.)...
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Skorpi
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10
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579
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sometimes I wish...
(Preview)
I wish that I didn't have to remember things from the past. My cousin was available to me for a long time. Now her daughter has learned that I won't tolerate her the way she is. I can't change her I know but our belief systems are very different. I wanted to be close to her but what I see in her is not healthy for...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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450
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biting my tongue and holding on
(Preview)
This is just like trying to not eat fattennng food. I have to bite my tonque not to scream that ah promised to go to his aa meetings etc since he got out of rehab and hasnt. He promised alot of things and i have to use all my strength to not scream about it.. I have to be strong and not touch the piles of paperwork...
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YARNCRAZY
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7
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736
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went to facetoface alanon meeting with bro in law
(Preview)
we went to a meeting i seldom go to because I need a ride to get there. afterwards, i asked him what he thought. He was less than impressed. he said that it just seemed like a place where people share their stories. He said he didnt understand the hands off approach to the alcoholic. he said that they didnt h...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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634
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Beth Hart, (Song) Setting Me Free
(Preview)
This is one of the most powerful songs I have heard about a toxic relationship finally being left. It has the sound of empowerment, freedom and independence wrapped into it nicely.
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John
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1
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1638
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How to handle it when you know they're drunk or drank and they swear they're not or didn't?
(Preview)
Hey there Everyone, I would love the groups input on this because I simply don't know how to handle it and I haven't seen it covered in Alanon. Scenerio: I call my AH, I KNOW right away by the sound of his voice that he has used -something- (drugs or alcohol). He is not completely drunk/high, but, I can he...
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cooper1
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29
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1199
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Not been in a while, struggling with suicide
(Preview)
Im 28 and attended alanon consistenly for about 5 years, but havent been in about 3 years, alanon turned my life around, and i still am able to work through alanon concepts and relate them to my everyday life, i just felt i wasnt getting as much from the meetings anymore as i had great compassion and had go...
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Effdee
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5
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6900
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