Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the effects growing up in an alcoholic home or living with alcoholism can have on our self esteem. It took me a long while to recognize this in myself because honestly I come from a loving and warm family- and always felt the strength of that. How then...

Jeanniejox · Jeanniejox

Hi again.......well Ive got through a day and a half since walking away from my relationship. Today I felt slightly empowered. Now, however, Im feeling guilty, sad, sorry for my ex, no concentration span and so, so exhausted. He contacted me today and wants to speak to me face to face, call me etc etc....

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

my ah is trying to be nice to me[cleaning a bit,taking me to doc] he has overcompansated by being verbal constantly and trying to do stuff for me. there are alot of details right now that i have to sort through that he doesnt understand to do so i am doing them so i wont get screwed. i have to rember to stop fal...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I am curious to know what experience others have with relapse. My AH has been sober for almost 4 months. Though I think he is still sober I often wonder if I will know quickly if he is drinking again. From what I have heard, once they relapse, most Alcoholics relapse and start drinking again very quic...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So i have said i want divorce. I feel there is no going back. .Two affairs, one with a fam friend and yrs of dysfunction. I need me back, that said my daughter now blames me saying why cant you give daddy another chance. . Ah keeps reminding me of the good. I feel like im dying inside. . This is why ive tried to s...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So now that ive said ENOUGH. ,my ah is being loving, helpful, begging for me to let him proove he will change andalthough i feel strong. . I die a little lore inside. I woke uo today and coukd hear him crying as im sleeping in a different room. I stayed away but its tearing me up. I do love theman but i have give...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for October 26 discusses the difference between reacting and responding. It points out that many of us.use a smile and kind words, .outwardly but our inner attitudes of anger, resentment and fear are expressed by our tone of voice and subtle actions The reminder suggests that...

almostThere · almostThere

Oh yeah...Step #1. Admitting that I was powerless over alcohol. Yup.

Debb · Debb

A period of meditation, everyday, is necessary to spiritual development. I control these "thinking time." If I meditate on what is good in my life, it will increase day by day and crowd out the self-pity and resentment over what I lack and what is hurting me. Suddenly I will find myself able...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am basically saying this to remind myself but I hope it helps someone else. Since the beginning of the year or so I have been trying to practice this in my marriage. I am not always successful but I am doing better. I have been counseled & listen on here. All I can say for sure is that it works if you work...

hotrod · hotrod

Good Morning everyone- The "spam" people, with such boring lives, have been here all night posting messages to fill up 4 pages of the Alanon Message Board. I have deleted many and blocked several IPs. John is working on a Mass removal. In the mean time I ask your patience and suggest w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 25 talks about the defect of character that some develop by living with the disease of alcoholism . It is the habit of making "decision and choices passively" The reading points out that by doing this we "Let things happen, rather than taking ac...

Debb · Debb

Success with the Al-Anon program demands that we think, honestly and in depth, about our attitudes, evaluate our words and actions. When the attitudes change from hostility to forgiveness, from violence to quiet acceptance, our words and actions follow along. "Freedom has many facets, b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today I am happy joyous & free! They used to have this on a door at my old fellowship. It reminds me that I can be happy filled w/ joy & have freedom to do things I never thought possible. I only know how to do the things I was taught. New things scare me but challenge me. I will remember to take chances...

otis · otis

Just looking to share my experience and hope to find some friends out there. In 2010 I lost my sister to alcohol. She died of kidney and liver failure. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. I still am trying to deal with the feelings that I should have done more. Can seem to get over that.

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 24 speaks about recovery in Al-Anon being compared to the peeling of an onion. It points out that we peal a layer away at a time often shedding a few tears as we do. Recovery always makes us think of the bark of the tree. The tree bark is necessary to protect the tree. As the tr...

Debb · Debb

I will examine, with a sharp and honest eye, my OWN motives, for I need to do a lot of straight thinking about my own attitudes and actions. If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else? Or can I honestly admit that I may be at fault...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

I'm needing some significant support right now as you can only imagine my Husband is pulling out all tHe stops as He doesn't want me to leave and I've actually drawing a line in tHe sand. He is begging me to go to counseling wHicH I do not want to do I just tHink tHat prolong tHe agony wHicH I've done before H...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 23 suggests that we try to look differently at familiar phrases and attempt to understand them in a different light.. The saying :" he is standing in his own light, is used as an example. It points out that if we take the time to focus on ourselves, examine our motive...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

To those of you who have left you ah with children in the mix. . Id love some tlc and how to. Im finally at mylimit but getting out is no easy task. . -- Edited by Theoceancalls on Friday 23rd of October 2015 02:59:41 PM

KT2015 · KT2015

I am so angry at my AH right now I want to scream. I had an unexpected family visit last night. A few people were in town and wanted to get together. My AH had other plans that included him staying home so I didn't push him and I wasn't angry about that at all (in the past I would have been fuming that he would...

Debb · Debb

Al-Anon tells me that complete acceptance of my powerlessness to change the alcoholic can, indeed, create a new life for me. When I really let go and stop playing God, things will begin to happen. Because at that point, my Higher Power has an opportunity to correct what seemed to me so hopeless. &quo...

a4l · a4l

"Forgive" is a word like "accept",for me. Both have felt like chokeholds, outside things imposed around me. I try a little bit more each day to grow my understanding around these two things, acceptance and forgiveness. Growing acceptance began with acknowledging that I did...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

To those who have been golloelwing my past few days. . Help. . My emotions are going crazy. . Hes telling me he xant imagine lifevwithout me, crying, begging. . "your a wonderful wife and mother" i need help.to stsy strong. He did say he will.look at a house with me but thsts todays comment. . H...

PaulF · PaulF

A bit of an update here. I posted on here a few months ago as I was struggling to maintain a relationship of a lady I met in rehab. In short, I stayed sober, she relapsed. In 18 months I've seen out 16 months in rehab, stayed sober, moved back home and recommennced a really good job in London. I'm active in AA a...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I got a healthy (but sad) dose of perspective today. One of my classmates from highschool passed away last night at the age of 40. It was a quick battle with cancer and he was just the sweetest guy. His wife just had a baby this summer so they were new parents. I am absolutely heart broken for his family...

Debb · Debb

I will, today and from now on, examine my own role in all my confusion and despair. If I do this honestly, I will come to realize that I am not blameless, that there is much to be changed in me. "How can he think the way I think, Or do just what I'd do? (I will remember, day by day, My love that I'm not you.)...

Weeks7304 · Weeks7304

Can folks reading this message board please provide some positive relationship news? Tell stories about how a rock bottom situation of addiction actually made a relationship (marriages or long term partnerships) stronger and the end product thrives today? I am new to alanon but I feel hope for the...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Your responses have all become gifts to me. I read each and every one of them several times throughout the day and specially in the evenings. At the moment I think my husbAnd is ActuAlly Accepting the fAct thAt I Am denied the fAct thAt there is no counseling. . ThaT This is over I senT him a picTure of a hous...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for October 22 speaks about examining our own motives and understanding our own drives. Great topic and one I never undertook prior to program. The reading points out that we are asked to do this so to to correct the destructive habits that we have developed which hamper our re...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I get it now.I have dried my tears because I realize I have been sitting here so heartbroken and disappointed over my AS because I expected him to do something other than what he does.He is an addict,he does what he does because he is an addict,he does what addicts do. I set myself up by expecting differen...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. My ah who I have been separated since July has been attended celebrate recovery, a therapist, a psychologist and has been sober about a month seems to be trying and every time I think that is finally it he comes back around and says he has found a network and he is hopeful that he will say the co...

Cooper · Cooper

I'm going to post this here mostly as a vent because I can't say what I'm feeling out loud. My ex brother in law is dying of liver failure, 45 years old, he has been dealing with this for probably six years but can't stop drinking. Typical alcoholic story, had a good life at one point but was always looking...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today my Ah gave up alcohol 9 years ago. I am so proud of him. He needs to celebrate. His life was saved by he program of Alcoholics Anonymous. He was near death before he got sober & I didn't realize. He is now 73 years old & is in very good shape. He has given me a reason to love him again. Thank God for...

Debb · Debb

Detaching our minds from the problem can truly promote our spiritual growth, and lessen the unrecognized personal guilt we carry around within us. It can lift the mind away from the partner's doings. Such detachment shows us each new day as an opportunity to free ourselves from a sense of injury that...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Yesterday was ah's birthday and he was able to remain sober enough to take us to a movie/diner. It was that old agravation which i tried so hard to detach from. He made us late cause he had to have 1/2 beer prior and then to my silent horor i discovered they sold beer/wine in the movies! Well, I hadnt been to o...

Debb · Debb

Nobody has given me the right to punish anyone for anything; "Vengeance in mine, faith the Lord." Therefore any attempt at retaliation for an injury can only react unhappily on me. "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments--there are consequences." ~ (Rob...

hotrod · hotrod

ODA T reading for October 21 speaks about one of Al-Anon's most important principles which are :" Don't take anybody's inventory but our own. It suggests that the more we practice this philosophy, we will gradually come to understand that by focusing on ourselves, rather than others, we wi...

Ashley B · Ashley B

So...I am having some difficult feelings. My brother is 3 years sober from a heroine addiction that almost killed him twice. He works the program, attends meetings, meditates, etc. Good for him right? Yeah, I agree. The big issue is he is still such a selfish jerk! His life is still all about him and wha...

uva25 · uva25

I've had a really good week with me and my AW. We've been to counseling and its really going well and she seems to be working her program really well. We had a great weekend together, spending a lot of time and working well together. I struggled at my two FTF meetings with hearing all the horror stories...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

So those wjo have read and have to.know me, know i belueve in my viws, i never wanted a broken family, i never wanted to abdone my husb. Hes broken and damaged and at times really wonderful. . But. . Two affairs in less than five years one to a teacher skank at my daughters school and now recently to a women sk...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am suffering big time on this computer! I am not complaining but stating that I can't sit very long on here. This chair stinks! I have mentioned it before I know. I wish the library would change the chairs. There goes my frustration for the day. Otherwise I am doing great! Things are really going well. I...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

after a week of *//* it has culiminated in me uncovering proof of my ah second affair in three/four years t this time with a neighbor/friend. . Found texts that were suspicioys thursday, emails and sex photos today. . I confronted he didnt deny. .Im sick. Those images are burned on my brain. Sure its bee...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- Today's reading is about our responsibilities to ourselves. lt speaks about the difference in our lives when we learn to keep the focus on ourselves and how we are able to choose our responses to different situations. when I went to my first couple of alanon meetings, I defini...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Last week I decided to go on a serious diet, serious meaning I was committed to eating healthier. It is day 8 and I have stayed on it. I have found that I am just feeling a lot better, with this my confidence has grown. With this, I am not being a doormat anymore. Monday, stood up for myself with a co worker tha...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I'm having a very hard time. I am so broken I don't recognize myself. My identity has been shattered. How can I pick myself up, shake off the crud?? Not only have I had to accept my AH's drunkeness but I now have to face the fact that I ruined my career. I don't know how to salvage anything. I admit I am p...

andromeda · andromeda

Most of you know that I have moved on to a new relationship to someone who is not an addict or alcoholic, but that does not mean he does not have baggage or issues. I have recently been asking myself if I am settling for 'a relationship(being in one specifically with a good man)' or if my discontent and uns...

Carmel 15 · Carmel 15

My partner is in rehab and due out Dec. After 4 months its as if a miracle has happened and he has now said he never wants to drink again and knows that as he is an addict he cant pick up ever again as he knows he wont stop. He was singing the praises of meetings and shares. Now he is saying when he comes out he isn...

Shund · Shund

Someone I know who has attended Al-anon for several years was recently banned from an Al-anon meeting after 2 individuals approached them after the meeting near the door as they were leaving. Without saying 'excuse me", one of them suddenly said "We need to talk to you in this little room&...

confused2015 · confused2015

So this weekend was a little messed up. I decided on Friday that I needed to argue back with my AH. I know I wasn't getting anywhere but just couldn't stop. I don't understand what happened but I guess that just proved that I was still human. I finally got up with my youngest child and left when I got bac...

ChipsAreFalling · ChipsAreFalling

This is my first post here, but I've been reading regularly for a while now. The ESH I've seen here has helped me so very much to keep me sane the last several months, so thank you! AH and I have been in a pretty bad place for a few years now, although I only woke up to the alcoholic basis of a lot of our issues the...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 19 speaks about the story of Don Quixote. This is a classic story of a "fictional hero", who goes about the world trying to right all the world's wrongs.. As he is going about his adventures, he comes across windmills that he thinks are mighty Giants. He th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is awesome - exactly as it is.....I'm posting the reading for those who may not have the text: "I used to think of God as my adversary. We were engaged in a battle of wills, and I wasn't about to let down my guard. You can imagine how quickly this attitude led me to hit a hard emotio...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am still very pregnant. 38 weeks today actually. My due date is Halloween. My AH went to a detox center a week and a half ago. He was only there for 4 days and was discharged. He missed his sister's wedding the weekend he was gone. I was alone in the house with a 2 yr old and a very pregnant belly. Doctor...

hotrod · hotrod

7th Step has been posted to he Step BoardLearn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please visit and share your thoughts. Here is the link. http://stepwork.ac...

Debb · Debb

I will concentrate on the things that are my concern and make sure WHICH REALLY ARE MINE. I will keep hands off the business of others. I will not interfere with the alcoholic's activities, assume theirresponsibilities or shield them from the consequences of what they do. "When you are offend...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Rain...heavy, heavy rain and thunder and lightening and stuff!! and thank HP for a memory that is still intact as I remember the old timers repeating "IT'S ALL STUFF". Yes it is S T U F F. That was last night and a bit ago the emergency news repeated the warning...S T U F F is still around ...

missmeliss · missmeliss

It's a slippery slope when I forget to practice my program. Yet t's easy to do when there is no active A in my face every day. My day to day life is filled with ordinary challenges, mostly reasonable people and if anything the only enemy I have is a boredom and dissatisfaction (perhaps with the lack of dram...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Ok so. . Its our 17the wedding anniv. .We had time together today. .Had early dinner . . Now. .Im home relaxin with my daughter and ummm hes at a bar watching a ball game. Im not angry. Most women andmy oarents would be but we have been fighting big all week and well. . Its quiet. But i feel a luttle guilty and w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hope for today oct 27 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the effects growing up in an alcoholic home or living with alcoholism can have on our self esteem. It took me a long while to recognize this in myself because honestly I come from a loving and warm family- and always felt the strength of that. How then...	yanksfan51	2	332	Oct 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) Hi again.......well Ive got through a day and a half since walking away from my relationship. Today I felt slightly empowered. Now, however, Im feeling guilty, sad, sorry for my ex, no concentration span and so, so exhausted. He contacted me today and wants to speak to me face to face, call me etc etc....	Jeanniejox	4	543	Oct 27, 2015 by Jeanniejox
	progress report (Preview) my ah is trying to be nice to me[cleaning a bit,taking me to doc] he has overcompansated by being verbal constantly and trying to do stuff for me. there are alot of details right now that i have to sort through that he doesnt understand to do so i am doing them so i wont get screwed. i have to rember to stop fal...	YARNCRAZY	4	531	Oct 27, 2015 by Debb
	Signs of a Relapse (Preview) I am curious to know what experience others have with relapse. My AH has been sober for almost 4 months. Though I think he is still sober I often wonder if I will know quickly if he is drinking again. From what I have heard, once they relapse, most Alcoholics relapse and start drinking again very quic...	Jazzie18	17	3290	Oct 26, 2015 by ameyer
	Detachment (Preview) I know that detachment is very important in Al-Anon. I physically detach by leaving the house when my AH drinks, go out with friends, go shopping or just stay in the house in another room reading, watching television, talking on the phone or cleaning and doing laundry. This is easy. However, where...	wifeofalcoholic	6	667	Oct 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	pressure to try again conitunes (Preview) So i have said i want divorce. I feel there is no going back. .Two affairs, one with a fam friend and yrs of dysfunction. I need me back, that said my daughter now blames me saying why cant you give daddy another chance. . Ah keeps reminding me of the good. I feel like im dying inside. . This is why ive tried to s...	Theoceancalls	27	983	Oct 26, 2015 by tiredtonite
	mornings are the worst (Preview) So now that ive said ENOUGH. ,my ah is being loving, helpful, begging for me to let him proove he will change andalthough i feel strong. . I die a little lore inside. I woke uo today and coukd hear him crying as im sleeping in a different room. I stayed away but its tearing me up. I do love theman but i have give...	Theoceancalls	11	643	Oct 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change Reading for 10-26 (Preview) C2C reading for October 26 discusses the difference between reacting and responding. It points out that many of us.use a smile and kind words, .outwardly but our inner attitudes of anger, resentment and fear are expressed by our tone of voice and subtle actions The reminder suggests that...	hotrod	5	746	Oct 26, 2015 by Debb
	Let's see...Now...Where was I...? (Preview) Oh yeah...Step #1. Admitting that I was powerless over alcohol. Yup.	almostThere	10	588	Oct 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Thought for Today ~ Mediate ~ 10/26/15 (Preview) A period of meditation, everyday, is necessary to spiritual development. I control these "thinking time." If I meditate on what is good in my life, it will increase day by day and crowd out the self-pity and resentment over what I lack and what is hurting me. Suddenly I will find myself able...	Debb	2	510	Oct 26, 2015 by Iamhere
	remember do not engage (Preview) I am basically saying this to remind myself but I hope it helps someone else. Since the beginning of the year or so I have been trying to practice this in my marriage. I am not always successful but I am doing better. I have been counseled & listen on here. All I can say for sure is that it works if you work...	Hoot Nanny	2	408	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Busy Spammers (Preview) Good Morning everyone- The "spam" people, with such boring lives, have been here all night posting messages to fill up 4 pages of the Alanon Message Board. I have deleted many and blocked several IPs. John is working on a Mass removal. In the mean time I ask your patience and suggest w...	hotrod	23	785	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 10 25 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 25 talks about the defect of character that some develop by living with the disease of alcoholism . It is the habit of making "decision and choices passively" The reading points out that by doing this we "Let things happen, rather than taking ac...	hotrod	2	472	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Examine Ourselves ~ 10/25/15 (Preview) Success with the Al-Anon program demands that we think, honestly and in depth, about our attitudes, evaluate our words and actions. When the attitudes change from hostility to forgiveness, from violence to quiet acceptance, our words and actions follow along. "Freedom has many facets, b...	Debb	2	424	Oct 25, 2015 by Iamhere
	H J& F! (Preview) Today I am happy joyous & free! They used to have this on a door at my old fellowship. It reminds me that I can be happy filled w/ joy & have freedom to do things I never thought possible. I only know how to do the things I was taught. New things scare me but challenge me. I will remember to take chances...	Hoot Nanny	3	707	Oct 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to this (Preview) Just looking to share my experience and hope to find some friends out there. In 2010 I lost my sister to alcohol. She died of kidney and liver failure. She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. I still am trying to deal with the feelings that I should have done more. Can seem to get over that.	otis	7	563	Oct 24, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	C2C 10-24 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 24 speaks about recovery in Al-Anon being compared to the peeling of an onion. It points out that we peal a layer away at a time often shedding a few tears as we do. Recovery always makes us think of the bark of the tree. The tree bark is necessary to protect the tree. As the tr...	hotrod	3	413	Oct 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ Negativity ~ 10/24/15 (Preview) I will examine, with a sharp and honest eye, my OWN motives, for I need to do a lot of straight thinking about my own attitudes and actions. If I am troubled, worried, exasperated or frustrated, do I rationalize the situation and put the blame on someone else? Or can I honestly admit that I may be at fault...	Debb	2	564	Oct 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	To my sponsor now to you all. . help strength (Preview) I'm needing some significant support right now as you can only imagine my Husband is pulling out all tHe stops as He doesn't want me to leave and I've actually drawing a line in tHe sand. He is begging me to go to counseling wHicH I do not want to do I just tHink tHat prolong tHe agony wHicH I've done before H...	Theoceancalls	14	711	Oct 23, 2015 by tiredtonite
	ODAT reading 10 23 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 23 suggests that we try to look differently at familiar phrases and attempt to understand them in a different light.. The saying :" he is standing in his own light, is used as an example. It points out that if we take the time to focus on ourselves, examine our motive...	hotrod	2	464	Oct 23, 2015 by Debb
	any tips (Preview) To those of you who have left you ah with children in the mix. . Id love some tlc and how to. Im finally at mylimit but getting out is no easy task. . -- Edited by Theoceancalls on Friday 23rd of October 2015 02:59:41 PM	Theoceancalls	1	452	Oct 23, 2015 by Jerry F
	Dealing with Anger Today (Preview) I am so angry at my AH right now I want to scream. I had an unexpected family visit last night. A few people were in town and wanted to get together. My AH had other plans that included him staying home so I didn't push him and I wasn't angry about that at all (in the past I would have been fuming that he would...	KT2015	15	668	Oct 23, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Thought for Today ~ Powerless ~ 10/23/15 (Preview) Al-Anon tells me that complete acceptance of my powerlessness to change the alcoholic can, indeed, create a new life for me. When I really let go and stop playing God, things will begin to happen. Because at that point, my Higher Power has an opportunity to correct what seemed to me so hopeless. &quo...	Debb	2	326	Oct 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	acceptance and forgiveness (Preview) "Forgive" is a word like "accept",for me. Both have felt like chokeholds, outside things imposed around me. I try a little bit more each day to grow my understanding around these two things, acceptance and forgiveness. Growing acceptance began with acknowledging that I did...	a4l	8	797	Oct 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	help (Preview) To those who have been golloelwing my past few days. . Help. . My emotions are going crazy. . Hes telling me he xant imagine lifevwithout me, crying, begging. . "your a wonderful wife and mother" i need help.to stsy strong. He did say he will.look at a house with me but thsts todays comment. . H...	Theoceancalls	13	601	Oct 23, 2015 by andromeda
	The old familiar cycle...... (Preview) A bit of an update here. I posted on here a few months ago as I was struggling to maintain a relationship of a lady I met in rehab. In short, I stayed sober, she relapsed. In 18 months I've seen out 16 months in rehab, stayed sober, moved back home and recommennced a really good job in London. I'm active in AA a...	PaulF	6	595	Oct 22, 2015 by PaulF
	Perspective (Preview) I got a healthy (but sad) dose of perspective today. One of my classmates from highschool passed away last night at the age of 40. It was a quick battle with cancer and he was just the sweetest guy. His wife just had a baby this summer so they were new parents. I am absolutely heart broken for his family...	Jazzie18	5	501	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Thought for Today ~ My Role ~ 10/22/15 (Preview) I will, today and from now on, examine my own role in all my confusion and despair. If I do this honestly, I will come to realize that I am not blameless, that there is much to be changed in me. "How can he think the way I think, Or do just what I'd do? (I will remember, day by day, My love that I'm not you.)...	Debb	5	570	Oct 22, 2015 by Fairlee
	Lets Talk Positive Relationships Please (Preview) Can folks reading this message board please provide some positive relationship news? Tell stories about how a rock bottom situation of addiction actually made a relationship (marriages or long term partnerships) stronger and the end product thrives today? I am new to alanon but I feel hope for the...	Weeks7304	21	993	Oct 22, 2015 by uva25
	not sure how to start . . (Preview) Your responses have all become gifts to me. I read each and every one of them several times throughout the day and specially in the evenings. At the moment I think my husbAnd is ActuAlly Accepting the fAct thAt I Am denied the fAct thAt there is no counseling. . ThaT This is over I senT him a picTure of a hous...	Theoceancalls	6	587	Oct 22, 2015 by milkwood
	ODAT 10-22 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 22 speaks about examining our own motives and understanding our own drives. Great topic and one I never undertook prior to program. The reading points out that we are asked to do this so to to correct the destructive habits that we have developed which hamper our re...	hotrod	1	409	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Expectations=Heartbreak And Disappointment (Preview) I get it now.I have dried my tears because I realize I have been sitting here so heartbroken and disappointed over my AS because I expected him to do something other than what he does.He is an addict,he does what he does because he is an addict,he does what addicts do. I set myself up by expecting differen...	SoggySlippers	4	910	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Celebrate recovery versus AA (Preview) Hi everyone. My ah who I have been separated since July has been attended celebrate recovery, a therapist, a psychologist and has been sober about a month seems to be trying and every time I think that is finally it he comes back around and says he has found a network and he is hopeful that he will say the co...	Helpangel	3	2710	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Fund raiser for a dying alcoholic (Preview) I'm going to post this here mostly as a vent because I can't say what I'm feeling out loud. My ex brother in law is dying of liver failure, 45 years old, he has been dealing with this for probably six years but can't stop drinking. Typical alcoholic story, had a good life at one point but was always looking...	Cooper	3	469	Oct 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	what a wonderful day to celebrate sobriety! (Preview) Today my Ah gave up alcohol 9 years ago. I am so proud of him. He needs to celebrate. His life was saved by he program of Alcoholics Anonymous. He was near death before he got sober & I didn't realize. He is now 73 years old & is in very good shape. He has given me a reason to love him again. Thank God for...	Hoot Nanny	8	643	Oct 22, 2015 by confused2015
	Thought for Today ~ Detaching ~ 10/20/15 (Preview) Detaching our minds from the problem can truly promote our spiritual growth, and lessen the unrecognized personal guilt we carry around within us. It can lift the mind away from the partner's doings. Such detachment shows us each new day as an opportunity to free ourselves from a sense of injury that...	Debb	4	1036	Oct 22, 2015 by Debb
	OUTING/AH REACTION/MY REACTION (Preview) Yesterday was ah's birthday and he was able to remain sober enough to take us to a movie/diner. It was that old agravation which i tried so hard to detach from. He made us late cause he had to have 1/2 beer prior and then to my silent horor i discovered they sold beer/wine in the movies! Well, I hadnt been to o...	YARNCRAZY	0	365	Oct 21, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Thought for Today ~ Punishment ~ 10/21/15 (Preview) Nobody has given me the right to punish anyone for anything; "Vengeance in mine, faith the Lord." Therefore any attempt at retaliation for an injury can only react unhappily on me. "In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments--there are consequences." ~ (Rob...	Debb	2	520	Oct 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT 10-21 (Preview) ODA T reading for October 21 speaks about one of Al-Anon's most important principles which are :" Don't take anybody's inventory but our own. It suggests that the more we practice this philosophy, we will gradually come to understand that by focusing on ourselves, rather than others, we wi...	hotrod	3	381	Oct 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	He is sober but still a jerk (Preview) So...I am having some difficult feelings. My brother is 3 years sober from a heroine addiction that almost killed him twice. He works the program, attends meetings, meditates, etc. Good for him right? Yeah, I agree. The big issue is he is still such a selfish jerk! His life is still all about him and wha...	Ashley B	5	753	Oct 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	How to live with success...and still use Al Anon (Preview) I've had a really good week with me and my AW. We've been to counseling and its really going well and she seems to be working her program really well. We had a great weekend together, spending a lot of time and working well together. I struggled at my two FTF meetings with hearing all the horror stories...	uva25	6	591	Oct 21, 2015 by hotrod
	gotta keep venting. . bless you for reading (Preview) So those wjo have read and have to.know me, know i belueve in my viws, i never wanted a broken family, i never wanted to abdone my husb. Hes broken and damaged and at times really wonderful. . But. . Two affairs in less than five years one to a teacher skank at my daughters school and now recently to a women sk...	Theoceancalls	9	677	Oct 21, 2015 by hotrod
	Ouch... (Preview) I am suffering big time on this computer! I am not complaining but stating that I can't sit very long on here. This chair stinks! I have mentioned it before I know. I wish the library would change the chairs. There goes my frustration for the day. Otherwise I am doing great! Things are really going well. I...	Hoot Nanny	2	393	Oct 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	sad update to anniv and marriage please please read (Preview) after a week of // it has culiminated in me uncovering proof of my ah second affair in three/four years t this time with a neighbor/friend. . Found texts that were suspicioys thursday, emails and sex photos today. . I confronted he didnt deny. .Im sick. Those images are burned on my brain. Sure its bee...	Theoceancalls	16	849	Oct 20, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Hope for Today October 20 (Preview) good morning everyone- Today's reading is about our responsibilities to ourselves. lt speaks about the difference in our lives when we learn to keep the focus on ourselves and how we are able to choose our responses to different situations. when I went to my first couple of alanon meetings, I defini...	yanksfan51	3	485	Oct 20, 2015 by Debb
	This is Robinks from the meetings, I decided to stop being a doormat and my life has been changing (Preview) Last week I decided to go on a serious diet, serious meaning I was committed to eating healthier. It is day 8 and I have stayed on it. I have found that I am just feeling a lot better, with this my confidence has grown. With this, I am not being a doormat anymore. Monday, stood up for myself with a co worker tha...	mercedes1959	11	732	Oct 20, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Broken!! (Preview) I'm having a very hard time. I am so broken I don't recognize myself. My identity has been shattered. How can I pick myself up, shake off the crud?? Not only have I had to accept my AH's drunkeness but I now have to face the fact that I ruined my career. I don't know how to salvage anything. I admit I am p...	Confused2379	12	584	Oct 20, 2015 by Confused2379
	Settling in new romantic relationships (Preview) Most of you know that I have moved on to a new relationship to someone who is not an addict or alcoholic, but that does not mean he does not have baggage or issues. I have recently been asking myself if I am settling for 'a relationship(being in one specifically with a good man)' or if my discontent and uns...	andromeda	13	787	Oct 20, 2015 by andromeda
	Is this the begining of a relapsse (Preview) My partner is in rehab and due out Dec. After 4 months its as if a miracle has happened and he has now said he never wants to drink again and knows that as he is an addict he cant pick up ever again as he knows he wont stop. He was singing the praises of meetings and shares. Now he is saying when he comes out he isn...	Carmel 15	9	600	Oct 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	Violations of Tradition 3 al-anon tradition 3 three violation ban banning gossip criticism business meeting (Preview) Someone I know who has attended Al-anon for several years was recently banned from an Al-anon meeting after 2 individuals approached them after the meeting near the door as they were leaving. Without saying 'excuse me", one of them suddenly said "We need to talk to you in this little room&...	Shund	6	6963	Oct 20, 2015 by glad
	what a weekend (Preview) So this weekend was a little messed up. I decided on Friday that I needed to argue back with my AH. I know I wasn't getting anywhere but just couldn't stop. I don't understand what happened but I guess that just proved that I was still human. I finally got up with my youngest child and left when I got bac...	confused2015	9	712	Oct 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	Nearing my limit? (Preview) This is my first post here, but I've been reading regularly for a while now. The ESH I've seen here has helped me so very much to keep me sane the last several months, so thank you! AH and I have been in a pretty bad place for a few years now, although I only woke up to the alcoholic basis of a lot of our issues the...	ChipsAreFalling	11	815	Oct 19, 2015 by Debb
	ODAT 10-19 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 19 speaks about the story of Don Quixote. This is a classic story of a "fictional hero", who goes about the world trying to right all the world's wrongs.. As he is going about his adventures, he comes across windmills that he thinks are mighty Giants. He th...	hotrod	2	504	Oct 19, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 10/9/15 (Preview) Today's reading is awesome - exactly as it is.....I'm posting the reading for those who may not have the text: "I used to think of God as my adversary. We were engaged in a battle of wills, and I wasn't about to let down my guard. You can imagine how quickly this attitude led me to hit a hard emotio...	Iamhere	7	660	Oct 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Keeping the Focus on Me (Preview) I am still very pregnant. 38 weeks today actually. My due date is Halloween. My AH went to a detox center a week and a half ago. He was only there for 4 days and was discharged. He missed his sister's wedding the weekend he was gone. I was alone in the house with a 2 yr old and a very pregnant belly. Doctor...	Michelle814	12	647	Oct 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	7th Step Posted to the step Board (Preview) 7th Step has been posted to he Step BoardLearn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Please visit and share your thoughts. Here is the link. http://stepwork.ac...	hotrod	4	506	Oct 19, 2015 by confused2015
	Thought for Today ~ BMOB ~ 10/19/15 (Preview) I will concentrate on the things that are my concern and make sure WHICH REALLY ARE MINE. I will keep hands off the business of others. I will not interfere with the alcoholic's activities, assume theirresponsibilities or shield them from the consequences of what they do. "When you are offend...	Debb	2	504	Oct 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Flash flood warning!! (Preview) Rain...heavy, heavy rain and thunder and lightening and stuff!! and thank HP for a memory that is still intact as I remember the old timers repeating "IT'S ALL STUFF". Yes it is S T U F F. That was last night and a bit ago the emergency news repeated the warning...S T U F F is still around ...	Jerry F	8	607	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Serenity vs Blah. (Preview) It's a slippery slope when I forget to practice my program. Yet t's easy to do when there is no active A in my face every day. My day to day life is filled with ordinary challenges, mostly reasonable people and if anything the only enemy I have is a boredom and dissatisfaction (perhaps with the lack of dram...	missmeliss	8	598	Oct 18, 2015 by LinSC
	anniv and the alch marriage (Preview) Ok so. . Its our 17the wedding anniv. .We had time together today. .Had early dinner . . Now. .Im home relaxin with my daughter and ummm hes at a bar watching a ball game. Im not angry. Most women andmy oarents would be but we have been fighting big all week and well. . Its quiet. But i feel a luttle guilty and w...	Theoceancalls	4	509	Oct 18, 2015 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.