The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I get it now.I have dried my tears because I realize I have been sitting here so heartbroken and disappointed over my AS because I expected him to do something other than what he does.He is an addict,he does what he does because he is an addict,he does what addicts do.
I set myself up by expecting different behavior.I did this to myself,he didn't do this to me.
(((SS)) you are a ""mom "" and it is a difficult road that we travel. Meetings, sponsor , steps all helped me to let go of my unrealistic expectations, accept the reality of this dreadful disease, and finally start to take care of myself. Prayers and positie thoughts on the way.
Keep coming back-- you are not alone.
(((SS))) - your post is so very powerful as to me, it suggests you are at a point of acceptance. I agree with those above me - put yourself first now and jump feet first into the Al-Anon program. I can relate to where you are and have come to realize that no matter my 'job' as a 'mom', I can't change their journey. Knowing and doing at times are a bit disconnected, which for me is where my HP comes in and leads me to the next right thing.
I don't know any mother who would not take the pain away for their child. We get it and you are not alone. Work the program and trust the process, and you will find strength and peace - no matter what your son is doing or is not doing.
(((hugs))) and prayers!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
