Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

OceanTide · OceanTide

I thought I would put a message out to the universe to get it off my chest and to HP. From there it is not mine anymore... Dear XABF, I was thinking of you and I hope you got your three-month chip today. I know 2015 has been a challenging year, but I hope you are gaining ground. I know you have struggled and I kno...

Seeking22 · Seeking22

Hi Everyone! I just signed up. DH left for inpatient treatment this weekend. We have a 10 month old. We met in recovery, I have almost 10 years sobriety. However, DH decided he could drink and smoke pot a few years ago and it has pretty much destroyed our marriage. There's no intimacy or trust. I don't kn...

bdlmom · bdlmom

Hello everyone....Newbie here! I am not a newbie to Al-Anon, as I do attend meetings when I can, but i'm a newbie here. I am wondering if anyone has had my experience and if so,would you please share so I can maybe get some guidance? I know we cannot give advice, but we can share our own experiences and tha...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Its midnight. I just had a very disturbing phone call from my husband last affair of two.years of which i found out about a month ago. We have been working with a mediator to avoid a drawn out ugly battle. . He claims of course he will change. . Not a chance. This woman, who was a family friend( who has been ha...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 30 speaks about learning from everyone who enters our lives. It points out that we are all connected and that is our great strength. Each person we meet can be a reflection of our better or worse qualities and there to enable us to work through conflicts that in the past w...

GypsyGirl · GypsyGirl

Greetings. I am new to the group. I a married a recovered alcoholic 2 yrs ago. He is a good man and we have a good marriage but I don't really understand how a recovered alcoholic thinks, or what they feel. He has some controlling tendencies and other issues that I've heard are linked to being a recovered a...

3littlekittens · 3littlekittens

Love and thanks in advance to this wonderful group. My ah has been sober for 5 years, but he has had a slip about once per year. In those times, he has increased meeting attendance, immersed himself with extra meetings with sponsor, etc. but the slips have been huge, once involving violence toward me an...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 29 speaks about our incorrect ideas and opinions. It points out for example that many of us thought that being an adult meant we were in control, rigid, looking good on the outside, and not feeling what was going on inside and doing for others until we dropped. Al-Ano...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I spoke (quietly and firmly) to my AH almost a week ago now about a day when he went AWOL and ditched on a promise to one of the kids. I know it's the alcohol but he is still a parent here and I needed him to know that he dropped the ball on this one. I encouraged my son to talk with me about it, I validated his fee...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61255818/alanon...

lf · lf

My husband had bypass surgery almost two years ago. While recovering he started playing slots online. I didn't even know he was doing it until the bank called about something. When I looked at our bank account, I could not believe the damage he has caused. I brought it to his attention and he said it was n...

joker · joker

I started my 4th step and I am coming to a lot of realizations about my self and my behaviors. I have a lot of work to do to improve myself. What I have come to see is I am a very negative person, see the world as black and white, and I am very controlling and that I am very hard on myself and others!! I expect and e...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, I came here looking for guidance nearly 5 years ago and then attended Al-Anon meetings briefly in my town but did not continue and I cannot remember why. Here I am now, 25 years in the same marriage with my AH and he has now started to change physically. He was a functional alcoholic for many y...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 28 speaks about working step four. It points out that as we list our character traits we become amazed to find that we often have mistaken destructive behavior for positive ones . For example,I know that I thought that taking care of everyone around me, worrying about oth...

AnnM · AnnM

I am new here and have only attended one al-anon meeting - years ago - and several meetings for family/loved ones of people who were in rehab (a previous relationship). I don't quite know how to start. I have been trying to leave the current relationship almost since I became involved with him. I hav...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

NORMALLY, I DONT LIKE TO GO INTO DETAIL BUT THE BONEHEAD INCIDENT AH IS INTO TONITE ALMOST TOPS HIS TOP BONEHEAD INCIDENTS IN THE PAST AH DRINKS CONTINUIALLY BUT HAD TO DO SOME BANK BUSINESS TODAY SO HE WAS SOMEWHAT SOBER. HE TAKES HIS CAR[HE HAS NO INSURANCE ON, NO PUFFER DEVICE AND RESTRICTED LISCENSE...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 27 speaks about being a survivor. It points out that we have faced many troubles in order to be where we are today.We must acknowledge that we are more than our troubles. We are human beings with dignity and with a wealth of experience, that we can use for sharing it with thos...

oceanpine · oceanpine

First of all, happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate Thanksgiving. And, to all of you, I want to express my gratitude for YOU. You are each a shining light, a fellow traveller on this often confusing journey of life, and so many of you selflessly give of your ESH over and over... I am truly grateful fo...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

I'm so fed up don't no where to begin . I got back with my ex husband he seamed different I could tell he was working his steps he was going to meetings the house was at pease then he lost his job and things went down hill we were evicted from his appartment our house is in forcloser .time he wake up in the mornin...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well as im in the process of divorcing my ah. . .The days just get worse. . I could launch into the tactics he tries for keeping me, the hate he throws at me and the contiuned lies but many if you know the drill all too weell. So today we did seperate thanksgivings. . He went to friends my daughter and i to famil...

likemyheart · likemyheart

This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So last weekend, daughter and I went interstate for a weekend- our first proper 'vacation" since I flew home to Australia 13 years ago with her still in utero! It went off without a hitch despite my best efforts to worry it into disaster. My mother had insisted that the airline we were flying with w...

susann55 · susann55

I have been with an alcoholic for 7 years and we are 34 years old. We have two children together 4 and 2. We have been through more relapses than I can keep track of and I know I was always the enabler as I would never keep by boundary and do what I said which was make him leave. I finally made him leave over a...

mjferg · mjferg

My 18 year old daughter wanted to do some Christmas shopping yesterday and she borrowed some cash from me,I also gave her my debit card to purchase something that I needed,but the store was closed.She went with her boyfriend and they used my card to go out to dinner and also for more purchases without as...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Been fuming ovef my AH putting his familys needs and wants before his own wife and kids....all I asked was to comprimise over time spent with family for the holidays so that we can fit both my family and his into our plans for the day and all he can think about is what he wants ( which is ultimatley whatever t...

ceewi · ceewi

Hope everyone had a good or as good as it could be Thanksgiving. I may have misjudged this man..using my past experiences as a baseline for his behavior. We had a great time at the party ,was he high..I don't think so Instead of focusing on that I chose to enjoy life

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well, its been a month since finding confirmation of my ah "drunken sex affair " as he called it thats apparently been on/off for 2 years. .With a family friend, under my nose. Needless to say . He vowed to.go to Recovery. . He went once, he started therapy, had me go and hasnt returned. Now the...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for November 26 speaks about the negative feeling of "not belonging." It suggests that many times we go to an Al-Anon Meeting and feel we don't belong. The members understand this, and urge us to keep coming back". Because alcoholism is a family disease, they underst...

joker · joker

Since my last update, my bf has returned to work and I have the house to myself. Its been a relief, a huge relief to not be around his moping and depression and misery. He remains sober and for that I am grateful. However, for me I feel rage toward him still. I just can not stand the thought of him having to com...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just left the Wednesday Night Turning Point Al-Anon Family Group home meeting which we have supported for such a long time and outside the door in the clear night sky was a very full Thanksgiving Moon...I wish you, my MIP Family in recovery the most peaceful, sane and spiritual nights ever. ((((...

joker · joker

Have started reading the messages on the board and I am seeing clarity as to why I am so angry toward my BF. His irresponsibility and lack of help around the house, and his lack of responsibility in general. He constantly asks me to do this and that for him and I jump and do it. Manipulation, verbal and ment...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Iamhere!!! The quiet voice with the most powerful message. I will add this picture to the meditation I was given by HP in Al-Anon. That meditation says God Is!! and now I have this picture which goes with it. Impressive isn't it? ((((hugs))))

Cc55 · Cc55

My son is in a critical state of alcoholism at 35 years old. I have learnt not to enable him, by not giving money and an 'easy' route to his addiction. These days I try to not even be in touch when he is drunk. Am I doing the right thing? Today there is no news of him. Last night he was in a desperate state, but fun...

catlover26 · catlover26

I suppose the two go hand in hand. Although with my A boyfriend I have learned not to have expectations because of his older age, his depression and other factors. He has been sober 30 yrs but I get frustrated because he doesn't seem to continue to follow the principles. I have been in Al-Anon f2f for abou...

Hall2015 · Hall2015

So, I am engaged to a recovering addict. He spent over 15 years of his life using heroine, crack, pills, etc. I know he has gotten himself into some unwanted situations (particularly of the sexual nature) while he was using. There are many things about his past and about his current behavior that he hid...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I was just reading some posts and saw a response by Elcee that said she learned in Al-anon that her A's drinking was never a choice, not a decision to drink instead of spending time with loved ones etc This is something I am really struggling with. I get so resentful and hurt because I feel like my AH choos...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Or when something particularly upsetting happens? I do. Any tips to cope better?

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to wish everyone a Happy and safe holiday on the most grateful day of the year. At least for me it is. Can't beat power on a special day. Love you all. Hugs.

ceewi · ceewi

I deal with facts,I hate assuming things I'm not a mind reader. I'm in the Let go and Let God stage.. I love this man with all my heart, but living my life in limbo isn't working for me. Last text was Sunday,no mention of our holiday plans..so it's time to take off the ring and move on

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Hi Everyone, I'm currently working on setting my boundaries with my addict live in boyfriend. I have been writing them down for myself, but I am having a hard time. I know that my boundaries are spastic to me and my situation but I would like to hear some of the boundaries you all have set. Thank you MC

ellenla · ellenla

I am just two months in Al Anon (no sponser yet though). I am starting to renew and repair my relationship with my adult children--my qualifier is their step-dad. I'm not sure how much I should reveal about what has gone down--addiction, detox, relapse, etc. He is clean, but whether or not "in rec...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 25 speaks about attending Al-Anon meetings and how, by doing so, we can dedicate ourselves to growing and changing It points out one person might go to a meeting a week does not get a sponsor but still grows only slowly. Usually a crisis brings this leisurely approac...

Broken513 · Broken513

Has anyone ever felt like the only place they will find their serenity is in prison? I have never ever even considered killing my AH...but It was so close today on more than one account....I kept my mouth shut did the good little girl al anon thing...and yet it is so close.....and that is why I am here and n...

lisad67 · lisad67

I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, bu...

mcdougallc · mcdougallc

Hello all, this is my first time posting - but I am not unfamiliar with Al-anon or codependency. I feel like I have a lot to say and ask but I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point. My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 28) and way before I was born, but things have gotten severely worse...

IsLoveEnough · IsLoveEnough

Hi everyone!I've come here seeking advice.....support....basically just want to know I'm not alone! I am attending AlAnon, but have not reached out to get a sponsor yet. My AH comes home from Rehab tomorrow. He put himself there 30 days ago. I am scared to death! Prior to him going, I was ready to leave...

RavenGirl · RavenGirl

I am new to this site, new to Alanon and new to the community I have just moved to. Feeling like I don't have much of a support network here yet. I guess I will introduce myself a bit... I grew up in a home where my dad was an active alcoholic. He left and my parents split when I was around 8 years old. I honestly d...

lisad67 · lisad67

Is it normal to be constantly mad at my abf? I have tried and tried to he a good mate, understanding, loving, etc. Everytime i open myself up to himband HIS needs, he takes more and disregards my efforts. Things had been going ok the past few weeks, until Friday nite when ge got smasbed and crashed his seco...

lookingup · lookingup

boyfreind doing everything he can to get back with me even wants to marry me but when I asked to look at his cell ph. Cause it rings a lot he wouldn't let me.i told him we wasn't gonna work again cause we broke up over his cell ph. He would tell me it was one thing then when I snuck around and looked at it it was lov...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...

ceewi · ceewi

I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...

Bonnie8765 · Bonnie8765

I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...

OceanTide · OceanTide

As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...

OceanTide · OceanTide

I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Putting it out to the universe (Preview) I thought I would put a message out to the universe to get it off my chest and to HP. From there it is not mine anymore... Dear XABF, I was thinking of you and I hope you got your three-month chip today. I know 2015 has been a challenging year, but I hope you are gaining ground. I know you have struggled and I kno...	OceanTide	2	482	Nov 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	New on here (Preview) Hi Everyone! I just signed up. DH left for inpatient treatment this weekend. We have a 10 month old. We met in recovery, I have almost 10 years sobriety. However, DH decided he could drink and smoke pot a few years ago and it has pretty much destroyed our marriage. There's no intimacy or trust. I don't kn...	Seeking22	5	624	Nov 30, 2015 by lgnutah
	I'VE BEEN GIVEN A CHOICE B/TWEEN MY GRANDKIDS OR MY SON..... (Preview) Hello everyone....Newbie here! I am not a newbie to Al-Anon, as I do attend meetings when I can, but i'm a newbie here. I am wondering if anyone has had my experience and if so,would you please share so I can maybe get some guidance? I know we cannot give advice, but we can share our own experiences and tha...	bdlmom	10	647	Nov 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	please help (Preview) Its midnight. I just had a very disturbing phone call from my husband last affair of two.years of which i found out about a month ago. We have been working with a mediator to avoid a drawn out ugly battle. . He claims of course he will change. . Not a chance. This woman, who was a family friend( who has been ha...	Theoceancalls	15	810	Nov 30, 2015 by Mattie
	Courage to Change 11-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 30 speaks about learning from everyone who enters our lives. It points out that we are all connected and that is our great strength. Each person we meet can be a reflection of our better or worse qualities and there to enable us to work through conflicts that in the past w...	hotrod	1	706	Nov 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	New to group- husband is sober for 25 yrs (Preview) Greetings. I am new to the group. I a married a recovered alcoholic 2 yrs ago. He is a good man and we have a good marriage but I don't really understand how a recovered alcoholic thinks, or what they feel. He has some controlling tendencies and other issues that I've heard are linked to being a recovered a...	GypsyGirl	5	617	Nov 30, 2015 by Jerry F
	HOW or DO you address a relapse? (Preview) Love and thanks in advance to this wonderful group. My ah has been sober for 5 years, but he has had a slip about once per year. In those times, he has increased meeting attendance, immersed himself with extra meetings with sponsor, etc. but the slips have been huge, once involving violence toward me an...	3littlekittens	4	755	Nov 29, 2015 by AnnM
	Courage to Change Reading 11-29 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 29 speaks about our incorrect ideas and opinions. It points out for example that many of us thought that being an adult meant we were in control, rigid, looking good on the outside, and not feeling what was going on inside and doing for others until we dropped. Al-Ano...	hotrod	1	2020	Nov 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to detach from the phony baloney... (Preview) I spoke (quietly and firmly) to my AH almost a week ago now about a day when he went AWOL and ditched on a promise to one of the kids. I know it's the alcohol but he is still a parent here and I needed him to know that he dropped the ball on this one. I encouraged my son to talk with me about it, I validated his fee...	newleaf66	5	638	Nov 29, 2015 by Iamhere
	Step 10 (Preview) Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t61255818/alanon...	hotrod	0	501	Nov 29, 2015 by hotrod
	I am new to this. Online Gambling Addiction (Preview) My husband had bypass surgery almost two years ago. While recovering he started playing slots online. I didn't even know he was doing it until the bank called about something. When I looked at our bank account, I could not believe the damage he has caused. I brought it to his attention and he said it was n...	lf	3	725	Nov 29, 2015 by lf
	Come to see how lonely I really am (Preview) I started my 4th step and I am coming to a lot of realizations about my self and my behaviors. I have a lot of work to do to improve myself. What I have come to see is I am a very negative person, see the world as black and white, and I am very controlling and that I am very hard on myself and others!! I expect and e...	joker	3	717	Nov 29, 2015 by hotrod
	I feel stuck - worried for my children (Preview) Hello all, I came here looking for guidance nearly 5 years ago and then attended Al-Anon meetings briefly in my town but did not continue and I cannot remember why. Here I am now, 25 years in the same marriage with my AH and he has now started to change physically. He was a functional alcoholic for many y...	newleaf66	16	868	Nov 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Courage 2 Change Reading for 11-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 28 speaks about working step four. It points out that as we list our character traits we become amazed to find that we often have mistaken destructive behavior for positive ones . For example,I know that I thought that taking care of everyone around me, worrying about oth...	hotrod	1	737	Nov 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	Trying to leave my abf (Preview) I am new here and have only attended one al-anon meeting - years ago - and several meetings for family/loved ones of people who were in rehab (a previous relationship). I don't quite know how to start. I have been trying to leave the current relationship almost since I became involved with him. I hav...	AnnM	6	741	Nov 28, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	UNBELIEVABLE!! (Preview) NORMALLY, I DONT LIKE TO GO INTO DETAIL BUT THE BONEHEAD INCIDENT AH IS INTO TONITE ALMOST TOPS HIS TOP BONEHEAD INCIDENTS IN THE PAST AH DRINKS CONTINUIALLY BUT HAD TO DO SOME BANK BUSINESS TODAY SO HE WAS SOMEWHAT SOBER. HE TAKES HIS CAR[HE HAS NO INSURANCE ON, NO PUFFER DEVICE AND RESTRICTED LISCENSE...	YARNCRAZY	4	495	Nov 28, 2015 by missmeliss
	Courage to Change 11-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 27 speaks about being a survivor. It points out that we have faced many troubles in order to be where we are today.We must acknowledge that we are more than our troubles. We are human beings with dignity and with a wealth of experience, that we can use for sharing it with thos...	hotrod	5	584	Nov 28, 2015 by RavenGirl
	Praying and visualizing serenity (Preview) First of all, happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate Thanksgiving. And, to all of you, I want to express my gratitude for YOU. You are each a shining light, a fellow traveller on this often confusing journey of life, and so many of you selflessly give of your ESH over and over... I am truly grateful fo...	oceanpine	7	717	Nov 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	We moved and drinking begins (Preview) I'm so fed up don't no where to begin . I got back with my ex husband he seamed different I could tell he was working his steps he was going to meetings the house was at pease then he lost his job and things went down hill we were evicted from his appartment our house is in forcloser .time he wake up in the mornin...	Wisdom67	3	652	Nov 27, 2015 by hotrod
	awful day awful night (Preview) Well as im in the process of divorcing my ah. . .The days just get worse. . I could launch into the tactics he tries for keeping me, the hate he throws at me and the contiuned lies but many if you know the drill all too weell. So today we did seperate thanksgivings. . He went to friends my daughter and i to famil...	Theoceancalls	6	697	Nov 27, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Peaceful Thanksgiving (Preview) This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I...	likemyheart	8	600	Nov 27, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Melly and Daughter's Excellent Adventure. (Preview) So last weekend, daughter and I went interstate for a weekend- our first proper 'vacation" since I flew home to Australia 13 years ago with her still in utero! It went off without a hitch despite my best efforts to worry it into disaster. My mother had insisted that the airline we were flying with w...	missmeliss	15	813	Nov 27, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Parent unsupportive or in denial? (Preview) I have been with an alcoholic for 7 years and we are 34 years old. We have two children together 4 and 2. We have been through more relapses than I can keep track of and I know I was always the enabler as I would never keep by boundary and do what I said which was make him leave. I finally made him leave over a...	susann55	8	677	Nov 27, 2015 by susann55
	feeling very betrayed and angry (Preview) My 18 year old daughter wanted to do some Christmas shopping yesterday and she borrowed some cash from me,I also gave her my debit card to purchase something that I needed,but the store was closed.She went with her boyfriend and they used my card to go out to dinner and also for more purchases without as...	mjferg	4	674	Nov 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel so ashamed if he deserved it? (Preview) Been fuming ovef my AH putting his familys needs and wants before his own wife and kids....all I asked was to comprimise over time spent with family for the holidays so that we can fit both my family and his into our plans for the day and all he can think about is what he wants ( which is ultimatley whatever t...	Hopefull15	11	716	Nov 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	Maybe I was wrong (Preview) Hope everyone had a good or as good as it could be Thanksgiving. I may have misjudged this man..using my past experiences as a baseline for his behavior. We had a great time at the party ,was he high..I don't think so Instead of focusing on that I chose to enjoy life	ceewi	2	411	Nov 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	starting the divorce process (Preview) Well, its been a month since finding confirmation of my ah "drunken sex affair " as he called it thats apparently been on/off for 2 years. .With a family friend, under my nose. Needless to say . He vowed to.go to Recovery. . He went once, he started therapy, had me go and hasnt returned. Now the...	Theoceancalls	11	901	Nov 27, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	Courage to Change Reading 11-26 Happy Thanksgiving (Preview) C2C reading for November 26 speaks about the negative feeling of "not belonging." It suggests that many times we go to an Al-Anon Meeting and feel we don't belong. The members understand this, and urge us to keep coming back". Because alcoholism is a family disease, they underst...	hotrod	5	531	Nov 26, 2015 by newleaf66
	Feel pure anger (Preview) Since my last update, my bf has returned to work and I have the house to myself. Its been a relief, a huge relief to not be around his moping and depression and misery. He remains sober and for that I am grateful. However, for me I feel rage toward him still. I just can not stand the thought of him having to com...	joker	3	586	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	Thanksgiving Moon... (Preview) Just left the Wednesday Night Turning Point Al-Anon Family Group home meeting which we have supported for such a long time and outside the door in the clear night sky was a very full Thanksgiving Moon...I wish you, my MIP Family in recovery the most peaceful, sane and spiritual nights ever. ((((...	Jerry F	5	394	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	Relizations (Preview) Have started reading the messages on the board and I am seeing clarity as to why I am so angry toward my BF. His irresponsibility and lack of help around the house, and his lack of responsibility in general. He constantly asks me to do this and that for him and I jump and do it. Manipulation, verbal and ment...	joker	3	597	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	I am here...indeed!! (Preview) Iamhere!!! The quiet voice with the most powerful message. I will add this picture to the meditation I was given by HP in Al-Anon. That meditation says God Is!! and now I have this picture which goes with it. Impressive isn't it? ((((hugs))))	Jerry F	2	382	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	How to not enable! (Preview) My son is in a critical state of alcoholism at 35 years old. I have learnt not to enable him, by not giving money and an 'easy' route to his addiction. These days I try to not even be in touch when he is drunk. Am I doing the right thing? Today there is no news of him. Last night he was in a desperate state, but fun...	Cc55	37	1506	Nov 26, 2015 by Cc55
	Disappointments/Expectations (Preview) I suppose the two go hand in hand. Although with my A boyfriend I have learned not to have expectations because of his older age, his depression and other factors. He has been sober 30 yrs but I get frustrated because he doesn't seem to continue to follow the principles. I have been in Al-Anon f2f for abou...	catlover26	6	975	Nov 26, 2015 by andromeda
	Engaged to a recovering Addict- Help please (Preview) So, I am engaged to a recovering addict. He spent over 15 years of his life using heroine, crack, pills, etc. I know he has gotten himself into some unwanted situations (particularly of the sexual nature) while he was using. There are many things about his past and about his current behavior that he hid...	Hall2015	14	756	Nov 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Trying to accept it is not a choice... (Preview) I was just reading some posts and saw a response by Elcee that said she learned in Al-anon that her A's drinking was never a choice, not a decision to drink instead of spending time with loved ones etc This is something I am really struggling with. I get so resentful and hurt because I feel like my AH choos...	newleaf66	12	705	Nov 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	do you find it hard to work, function, etc, due to chronic stress? (Preview) Or when something particularly upsetting happens? I do. Any tips to cope better?	hiraeth	18	814	Nov 25, 2015 by catlover26
	happy early Thanksgiving (Preview) Just want to wish everyone a Happy and safe holiday on the most grateful day of the year. At least for me it is. Can't beat power on a special day. Love you all. Hugs.	Hoot Nanny	4	439	Nov 25, 2015 by Debb
	Good bye I love you (Preview) I deal with facts,I hate assuming things I'm not a mind reader. I'm in the Let go and Let God stage.. I love this man with all my heart, but living my life in limbo isn't working for me. Last text was Sunday,no mention of our holiday plans..so it's time to take off the ring and move on	ceewi	6	690	Nov 25, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Working on boundaries (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm currently working on setting my boundaries with my addict live in boyfriend. I have been writing them down for myself, but I am having a hard time. I know that my boundaries are spastic to me and my situation but I would like to hear some of the boundaries you all have set. Thank you MC	ItsAllAboutMeMC	19	857	Nov 25, 2015 by Green Eyes
	How much can I tell? privacy telling others secrecy recovery (Preview) I am just two months in Al Anon (no sponser yet though). I am starting to renew and repair my relationship with my adult children--my qualifier is their step-dad. I'm not sure how much I should reveal about what has gone down--addiction, detox, relapse, etc. He is clean, but whether or not "in rec...	ellenla	14	6811	Nov 25, 2015 by KT2015
	Courage to Change 11- 25 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 25 speaks about attending Al-Anon meetings and how, by doing so, we can dedicate ourselves to growing and changing It points out one person might go to a meeting a week does not get a sponsor but still grows only slowly. Usually a crisis brings this leisurely approac...	hotrod	2	616	Nov 25, 2015 by ceewi
	Ever feel like? (Preview) Has anyone ever felt like the only place they will find their serenity is in prison? I have never ever even considered killing my AH...but It was so close today on more than one account....I kept my mouth shut did the good little girl al anon thing...and yet it is so close.....and that is why I am here and n...	Broken513	14	681	Nov 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	12 steps...and hp (Preview) I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, bu...	lisad67	6	610	Nov 24, 2015 by Debb
	Need advice - sick & alcoholic mom, enabling stepdad (Preview) Hello all, this is my first time posting - but I am not unfamiliar with Al-anon or codependency. I feel like I have a lot to say and ask but I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point. My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 28) and way before I was born, but things have gotten severely worse...	mcdougallc	3	809	Nov 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Scared......Nervous.....Excited (Preview) Hi everyone!I've come here seeking advice.....support....basically just want to know I'm not alone! I am attending AlAnon, but have not reached out to get a sponsor yet. My AH comes home from Rehab tomorrow. He put himself there 30 days ago. I am scared to death! Prior to him going, I was ready to leave...	IsLoveEnough	6	620	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to Alanon (Preview) I am new to this site, new to Alanon and new to the community I have just moved to. Feeling like I don't have much of a support network here yet. I guess I will introduce myself a bit... I grew up in a home where my dad was an active alcoholic. He left and my parents split when I was around 8 years old. I honestly d...	RavenGirl	4	601	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	constant anger at my abf (Preview) Is it normal to be constantly mad at my abf? I have tried and tried to he a good mate, understanding, loving, etc. Everytime i open myself up to himband HIS needs, he takes more and disregards my efforts. Things had been going ok the past few weeks, until Friday nite when ge got smasbed and crashed his seco...	lisad67	15	839	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	What's wrong with me (Preview) boyfreind doing everything he can to get back with me even wants to marry me but when I asked to look at his cell ph. Cause it rings a lot he wouldn't let me.i told him we wasn't gonna work again cause we broke up over his cell ph. He would tell me it was one thing then when I snuck around and looked at it it was lov...	lookingup	11	858	Nov 24, 2015 by Carmel 15
	Gaslighting (Preview) I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...	KT2015	14	1688	Nov 24, 2015 by KT2015
	ODAT 11/24 (Preview) Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...	Enigmatic	2	663	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	Turning it over to my higher power (Preview) I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...	ceewi	4	562	Nov 24, 2015 by ceewi
	Hope for today nov 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...	yanksfan51	2	520	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	Do "Interventions" Do Any Good? (Preview) I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...	Bonnie8765	21	1128	Nov 23, 2015 by Bonnie8765
	To Be Detox'd or Not To Be Detox'd, that is the question... (Preview) Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...	Worried Wife	3	611	Nov 23, 2015 by hotrod
	OFFTOPIC/Maybe Not (Preview) Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...	YARNCRAZY	3	505	Nov 23, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Letting go... (Preview) As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...	OceanTide	6	824	Nov 23, 2015 by Green Eyes
	Finally we talked (Preview) After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	525	Nov 23, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	One day at a time 11-23 (Preview) I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...	OceanTide	2	354	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Question about BAC (Preview) I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...	oceanpine	4	605	Nov 23, 2015 by Mattie
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