Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well as im in the process of divorcing my ah. . .The days just get worse. . I could launch into the tactics he tries for keeping me, the hate he throws at me and the contiuned lies but many if you know the drill all too weell. So today we did seperate thanksgivings. . He went to friends my daughter and i to famil...

likemyheart · likemyheart

This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So last weekend, daughter and I went interstate for a weekend- our first proper 'vacation" since I flew home to Australia 13 years ago with her still in utero! It went off without a hitch despite my best efforts to worry it into disaster. My mother had insisted that the airline we were flying with w...

susann55 · susann55

I have been with an alcoholic for 7 years and we are 34 years old. We have two children together 4 and 2. We have been through more relapses than I can keep track of and I know I was always the enabler as I would never keep by boundary and do what I said which was make him leave. I finally made him leave over a...

mjferg · mjferg

My 18 year old daughter wanted to do some Christmas shopping yesterday and she borrowed some cash from me,I also gave her my debit card to purchase something that I needed,but the store was closed.She went with her boyfriend and they used my card to go out to dinner and also for more purchases without as...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Been fuming ovef my AH putting his familys needs and wants before his own wife and kids....all I asked was to comprimise over time spent with family for the holidays so that we can fit both my family and his into our plans for the day and all he can think about is what he wants ( which is ultimatley whatever t...

ceewi · ceewi

Hope everyone had a good or as good as it could be Thanksgiving. I may have misjudged this man..using my past experiences as a baseline for his behavior. We had a great time at the party ,was he high..I don't think so Instead of focusing on that I chose to enjoy life

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well, its been a month since finding confirmation of my ah "drunken sex affair " as he called it thats apparently been on/off for 2 years. .With a family friend, under my nose. Needless to say . He vowed to.go to Recovery. . He went once, he started therapy, had me go and hasnt returned. Now the...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for November 26 speaks about the negative feeling of "not belonging." It suggests that many times we go to an Al-Anon Meeting and feel we don't belong. The members understand this, and urge us to keep coming back". Because alcoholism is a family disease, they underst...

joker · joker

Since my last update, my bf has returned to work and I have the house to myself. Its been a relief, a huge relief to not be around his moping and depression and misery. He remains sober and for that I am grateful. However, for me I feel rage toward him still. I just can not stand the thought of him having to com...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just left the Wednesday Night Turning Point Al-Anon Family Group home meeting which we have supported for such a long time and outside the door in the clear night sky was a very full Thanksgiving Moon...I wish you, my MIP Family in recovery the most peaceful, sane and spiritual nights ever. ((((...

joker · joker

Have started reading the messages on the board and I am seeing clarity as to why I am so angry toward my BF. His irresponsibility and lack of help around the house, and his lack of responsibility in general. He constantly asks me to do this and that for him and I jump and do it. Manipulation, verbal and ment...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Iamhere!!! The quiet voice with the most powerful message. I will add this picture to the meditation I was given by HP in Al-Anon. That meditation says God Is!! and now I have this picture which goes with it. Impressive isn't it? ((((hugs))))

Cc55 · Cc55

My son is in a critical state of alcoholism at 35 years old. I have learnt not to enable him, by not giving money and an 'easy' route to his addiction. These days I try to not even be in touch when he is drunk. Am I doing the right thing? Today there is no news of him. Last night he was in a desperate state, but fun...

catlover26 · catlover26

I suppose the two go hand in hand. Although with my A boyfriend I have learned not to have expectations because of his older age, his depression and other factors. He has been sober 30 yrs but I get frustrated because he doesn't seem to continue to follow the principles. I have been in Al-Anon f2f for abou...

Hall2015 · Hall2015

So, I am engaged to a recovering addict. He spent over 15 years of his life using heroine, crack, pills, etc. I know he has gotten himself into some unwanted situations (particularly of the sexual nature) while he was using. There are many things about his past and about his current behavior that he hid...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

I was just reading some posts and saw a response by Elcee that said she learned in Al-anon that her A's drinking was never a choice, not a decision to drink instead of spending time with loved ones etc This is something I am really struggling with. I get so resentful and hurt because I feel like my AH choos...

hiraeth · hiraeth

Or when something particularly upsetting happens? I do. Any tips to cope better?

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to wish everyone a Happy and safe holiday on the most grateful day of the year. At least for me it is. Can't beat power on a special day. Love you all. Hugs.

ceewi · ceewi

I deal with facts,I hate assuming things I'm not a mind reader. I'm in the Let go and Let God stage.. I love this man with all my heart, but living my life in limbo isn't working for me. Last text was Sunday,no mention of our holiday plans..so it's time to take off the ring and move on

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Hi Everyone, I'm currently working on setting my boundaries with my addict live in boyfriend. I have been writing them down for myself, but I am having a hard time. I know that my boundaries are spastic to me and my situation but I would like to hear some of the boundaries you all have set. Thank you MC

ellenla · ellenla

I am just two months in Al Anon (no sponser yet though). I am starting to renew and repair my relationship with my adult children--my qualifier is their step-dad. I'm not sure how much I should reveal about what has gone down--addiction, detox, relapse, etc. He is clean, but whether or not "in rec...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 25 speaks about attending Al-Anon meetings and how, by doing so, we can dedicate ourselves to growing and changing It points out one person might go to a meeting a week does not get a sponsor but still grows only slowly. Usually a crisis brings this leisurely approac...

Broken513 · Broken513

Has anyone ever felt like the only place they will find their serenity is in prison? I have never ever even considered killing my AH...but It was so close today on more than one account....I kept my mouth shut did the good little girl al anon thing...and yet it is so close.....and that is why I am here and n...

lisad67 · lisad67

I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, bu...

mcdougallc · mcdougallc

Hello all, this is my first time posting - but I am not unfamiliar with Al-anon or codependency. I feel like I have a lot to say and ask but I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point. My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 28) and way before I was born, but things have gotten severely worse...

IsLoveEnough · IsLoveEnough

Hi everyone!I've come here seeking advice.....support....basically just want to know I'm not alone! I am attending AlAnon, but have not reached out to get a sponsor yet. My AH comes home from Rehab tomorrow. He put himself there 30 days ago. I am scared to death! Prior to him going, I was ready to leave...

RavenGirl · RavenGirl

I am new to this site, new to Alanon and new to the community I have just moved to. Feeling like I don't have much of a support network here yet. I guess I will introduce myself a bit... I grew up in a home where my dad was an active alcoholic. He left and my parents split when I was around 8 years old. I honestly d...

lisad67 · lisad67

Is it normal to be constantly mad at my abf? I have tried and tried to he a good mate, understanding, loving, etc. Everytime i open myself up to himband HIS needs, he takes more and disregards my efforts. Things had been going ok the past few weeks, until Friday nite when ge got smasbed and crashed his seco...

lookingup · lookingup

boyfreind doing everything he can to get back with me even wants to marry me but when I asked to look at his cell ph. Cause it rings a lot he wouldn't let me.i told him we wasn't gonna work again cause we broke up over his cell ph. He would tell me it was one thing then when I snuck around and looked at it it was lov...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...

ceewi · ceewi

I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...

Bonnie8765 · Bonnie8765

I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...

OceanTide · OceanTide

As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...

OceanTide · OceanTide

I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...

lisad67 · lisad67

I am in the midst of i dont know what, but i know its norhing good......we get through one day of not fighting, only because his son is here, and now that his son has gone home, the bottle of vodka is open and his anger mode is flipped on. Why is it that hevis always the one who needs something when someone has p...

ceewi · ceewi

Wow! Can't believe it's only been a week since I came back through these doors after a long absence I was a hot mess, totally shell shocked..my guy gave me a ring,told me he uses meth and wrecked his bike..ummm ok But guess what. Once I got back to focusing on me,none of that mattered. I was able to detach,...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, November 23 speaks about the slogan "keep it simple". The reading goes on to point out that many times we become overwhelmed and don't even start a project because we approach the task as a whole iInstead of piece by piece. We can simplify each task by taking it one...

sunflower22 · sunflower22

Hello, I am in dire need of help and I hope someone can inspire me. I have been with a alcoholic/meth addict for 9 years off and on. Currently he has been sober for 2 and 1/2 weeks. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago he randomly relapsed on alcohol, drove his motorcycle drunk and crashed almost killing himself. I feel s...

carolm · carolm

Hi Friends, I think I need some validation today

My 28-year-old AS has used drugs/alcohol to different degrees since he was a teen. He has really struggled. He and I have always been close even though he has lived across the country for most of the last 8 years. About four years ago he was charged with...

Nova · Nova

After dating my first alcoholic boyfriend this year, I've realized that this is the first time in my life I've had to take a real hard look at alcoholism and I am trying to wrap my head around it all... I am a nurse and in my chaotic world of work I am exposed to alcoholics d.a.i.l.y. After 9 years of watching...

ceewi · ceewi

I know the title is strange, a friend told me that when I was whining. .time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. Loving an addict is not for the weak,you may feel weak at times but all the things that we handle we're pretty tough folks. My 2 hour volunteer event yesterday turned into an all day aff...

oceanpine · oceanpine

I am a bundle of nerves right now. Since I moved out on July 8, due to my AH's lying, hiding, and pattern of saying unkind and cruel things to me in front of our children, I have been renting a little cottage a couple miles from our house. He "does not like" the situation, and keeps telling me I s...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for 11 22 reminds us that alanon is a spiritual program. That one of the results of living with the disease of alcoholism is that we tend to lose our" Spirit" because life become a survival game filled with fear and simply accomplishing the "Daily grind." . W...

Broken513 · Broken513

Not sure why, but I am able to get on the board but not in the chat room. Have I been band? I even restored my computer and still cannot get in

lookingforme · lookingforme

I want to thank everyone who read and gave an answer to my other post. It is most kind of you all. I am starting to learn that being in recovery is the only way to enjoy life. You see, I now realize that I don't really enjoy my life. Who would want to live like I do. I spend way too much of my time thinking...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Why I love my small community so much! I just want to send a shout out to those who come through at times when we really need them & each other. All of you have been there for me I am sure you would help someone if you could even if it were just prayers kind words or thoughts. Some of our members are struggl...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So today is another marked year of doing things very differently .. I don't know if it's been right or wrong .. it just is and I'm ok with that. I will have to go fairly radio silent over the next few months so much has been going on. Biggest issue is we are headed back into court because my X is refusing to fi...

Lee8375 · Lee8375

AW has been going to AA for a couple of months but is continually relapsing back to 3/4 day binges. Ive had to set boundaries and she was told recently that if drunk again in the house then i would ask her to leave and she would only come back in when sobber. Despite a good start she decided to test said bounda...

a4l · a4l

so I've been a posting loon lately totally reactive and not at all sensible. I'm tired. I want to let go and let god with my whole mum situation and I'm not sure how. Drama, drama drama. I feel bad about a family situation, a wide ranging one. I'm taking comfort knowing that were all affected and condition...

lisad67 · lisad67

Last night my abf crashed his motorcycle, pretty much totalled it. I had to pick him up, and he was trashed. I was so angry about the danger hecput himself and the person involved in the accident, never mind his attitude about the entire thing. He thinks he is indestructable. Wechave a three yo and he hel...

ceewi · ceewi

Today I begin a new day I am the master of my abilities and today is going to be a great and beautiful day..dunno who the author is.. Yesterday is done! I'm so glad cuz it was horrible..ya ever try to have a conversation with someone crashing. .umm ookay..ya crashed the bike..didn't go to the hospital..I...

lisad67 · lisad67

One of my challenges is releasing this anger i carry around. Since my abf and i have been together i have taken on so much weight of anger from things that have ocurred, during his drunkiness. Whenever something upsets him, he starys with the heavy drinking. Today he found out something that understan...

lookingforme · lookingforme

It hurts to love an addict. I have a boyfriend that is on my mind all the time. We do not live together, but I would like to live with him He uses and drinks a lot. He calls when he wants to and sometimes it is weeks before he calls me to ask me out. He is addicted to drugs and boozes but I am addicted to him...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	awful day awful night (Preview) Well as im in the process of divorcing my ah. . .The days just get worse. . I could launch into the tactics he tries for keeping me, the hate he throws at me and the contiuned lies but many if you know the drill all too weell. So today we did seperate thanksgivings. . He went to friends my daughter and i to famil...	Theoceancalls	6	634	Nov 27, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Peaceful Thanksgiving (Preview) This year I tried something different, weird word - spatchcocking - which means cutting the breast in half and splaying the turkey out, rubbing it with oil and spices and baking it. Note to self: buy a bigger shallow pan! Baked turkey at 425 for 30 mins then 350 for remainder of time (155 degrees) (yeah I...	likemyheart	8	543	Nov 27, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Melly and Daughter's Excellent Adventure. (Preview) So last weekend, daughter and I went interstate for a weekend- our first proper 'vacation" since I flew home to Australia 13 years ago with her still in utero! It went off without a hitch despite my best efforts to worry it into disaster. My mother had insisted that the airline we were flying with w...	missmeliss	15	746	Nov 27, 2015 by Yankeerose
	Parent unsupportive or in denial? (Preview) I have been with an alcoholic for 7 years and we are 34 years old. We have two children together 4 and 2. We have been through more relapses than I can keep track of and I know I was always the enabler as I would never keep by boundary and do what I said which was make him leave. I finally made him leave over a...	susann55	8	612	Nov 27, 2015 by susann55
	feeling very betrayed and angry (Preview) My 18 year old daughter wanted to do some Christmas shopping yesterday and she borrowed some cash from me,I also gave her my debit card to purchase something that I needed,but the store was closed.She went with her boyfriend and they used my card to go out to dinner and also for more purchases without as...	mjferg	4	610	Nov 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	Why do I feel so ashamed if he deserved it? (Preview) Been fuming ovef my AH putting his familys needs and wants before his own wife and kids....all I asked was to comprimise over time spent with family for the holidays so that we can fit both my family and his into our plans for the day and all he can think about is what he wants ( which is ultimatley whatever t...	Hopefull15	11	649	Nov 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	Maybe I was wrong (Preview) Hope everyone had a good or as good as it could be Thanksgiving. I may have misjudged this man..using my past experiences as a baseline for his behavior. We had a great time at the party ,was he high..I don't think so Instead of focusing on that I chose to enjoy life	ceewi	2	351	Nov 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	starting the divorce process (Preview) Well, its been a month since finding confirmation of my ah "drunken sex affair " as he called it thats apparently been on/off for 2 years. .With a family friend, under my nose. Needless to say . He vowed to.go to Recovery. . He went once, he started therapy, had me go and hasnt returned. Now the...	Theoceancalls	11	824	Nov 27, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	Courage to Change Reading 11-26 Happy Thanksgiving (Preview) C2C reading for November 26 speaks about the negative feeling of "not belonging." It suggests that many times we go to an Al-Anon Meeting and feel we don't belong. The members understand this, and urge us to keep coming back". Because alcoholism is a family disease, they underst...	hotrod	5	476	Nov 26, 2015 by newleaf66
	Feel pure anger (Preview) Since my last update, my bf has returned to work and I have the house to myself. Its been a relief, a huge relief to not be around his moping and depression and misery. He remains sober and for that I am grateful. However, for me I feel rage toward him still. I just can not stand the thought of him having to com...	joker	3	528	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	Thanksgiving Moon... (Preview) Just left the Wednesday Night Turning Point Al-Anon Family Group home meeting which we have supported for such a long time and outside the door in the clear night sky was a very full Thanksgiving Moon...I wish you, my MIP Family in recovery the most peaceful, sane and spiritual nights ever. ((((...	Jerry F	5	342	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	Relizations (Preview) Have started reading the messages on the board and I am seeing clarity as to why I am so angry toward my BF. His irresponsibility and lack of help around the house, and his lack of responsibility in general. He constantly asks me to do this and that for him and I jump and do it. Manipulation, verbal and ment...	joker	3	538	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	I am here...indeed!! (Preview) Iamhere!!! The quiet voice with the most powerful message. I will add this picture to the meditation I was given by HP in Al-Anon. That meditation says God Is!! and now I have this picture which goes with it. Impressive isn't it? ((((hugs))))	Jerry F	2	324	Nov 26, 2015 by Debb
	How to not enable! (Preview) My son is in a critical state of alcoholism at 35 years old. I have learnt not to enable him, by not giving money and an 'easy' route to his addiction. These days I try to not even be in touch when he is drunk. Am I doing the right thing? Today there is no news of him. Last night he was in a desperate state, but fun...	Cc55	37	1432	Nov 26, 2015 by Cc55
	Disappointments/Expectations (Preview) I suppose the two go hand in hand. Although with my A boyfriend I have learned not to have expectations because of his older age, his depression and other factors. He has been sober 30 yrs but I get frustrated because he doesn't seem to continue to follow the principles. I have been in Al-Anon f2f for abou...	catlover26	6	918	Nov 26, 2015 by andromeda
	Engaged to a recovering Addict- Help please (Preview) So, I am engaged to a recovering addict. He spent over 15 years of his life using heroine, crack, pills, etc. I know he has gotten himself into some unwanted situations (particularly of the sexual nature) while he was using. There are many things about his past and about his current behavior that he hid...	Hall2015	14	692	Nov 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	Trying to accept it is not a choice... (Preview) I was just reading some posts and saw a response by Elcee that said she learned in Al-anon that her A's drinking was never a choice, not a decision to drink instead of spending time with loved ones etc This is something I am really struggling with. I get so resentful and hurt because I feel like my AH choos...	newleaf66	12	634	Nov 26, 2015 by Jerry F
	do you find it hard to work, function, etc, due to chronic stress? (Preview) Or when something particularly upsetting happens? I do. Any tips to cope better?	hiraeth	18	758	Nov 25, 2015 by catlover26
	happy early Thanksgiving (Preview) Just want to wish everyone a Happy and safe holiday on the most grateful day of the year. At least for me it is. Can't beat power on a special day. Love you all. Hugs.	Hoot Nanny	4	384	Nov 25, 2015 by Debb
	Good bye I love you (Preview) I deal with facts,I hate assuming things I'm not a mind reader. I'm in the Let go and Let God stage.. I love this man with all my heart, but living my life in limbo isn't working for me. Last text was Sunday,no mention of our holiday plans..so it's time to take off the ring and move on	ceewi	6	616	Nov 25, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Working on boundaries (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm currently working on setting my boundaries with my addict live in boyfriend. I have been writing them down for myself, but I am having a hard time. I know that my boundaries are spastic to me and my situation but I would like to hear some of the boundaries you all have set. Thank you MC	ItsAllAboutMeMC	19	790	Nov 25, 2015 by Green Eyes
	How much can I tell? privacy telling others secrecy recovery (Preview) I am just two months in Al Anon (no sponser yet though). I am starting to renew and repair my relationship with my adult children--my qualifier is their step-dad. I'm not sure how much I should reveal about what has gone down--addiction, detox, relapse, etc. He is clean, but whether or not "in rec...	ellenla	14	6174	Nov 25, 2015 by KT2015
	Courage to Change 11- 25 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 25 speaks about attending Al-Anon meetings and how, by doing so, we can dedicate ourselves to growing and changing It points out one person might go to a meeting a week does not get a sponsor but still grows only slowly. Usually a crisis brings this leisurely approac...	hotrod	2	547	Nov 25, 2015 by ceewi
	Ever feel like? (Preview) Has anyone ever felt like the only place they will find their serenity is in prison? I have never ever even considered killing my AH...but It was so close today on more than one account....I kept my mouth shut did the good little girl al anon thing...and yet it is so close.....and that is why I am here and n...	Broken513	14	627	Nov 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	12 steps...and hp (Preview) I just got back from the book store. Idk how to learn and apply the 12 steps. Is it via the books? If so what are your favs. Also, ive never been a spiritual person with God. I am Catholic but ive never found a connection. Im wondeting how hp is going to play a role with my journey. I know its a personal thing, bu...	lisad67	6	543	Nov 24, 2015 by Debb
	Need advice - sick & alcoholic mom, enabling stepdad (Preview) Hello all, this is my first time posting - but I am not unfamiliar with Al-anon or codependency. I feel like I have a lot to say and ask but I'm going to try and keep this short and to the point. My mom has been an alcoholic my entire life (I'm 28) and way before I was born, but things have gotten severely worse...	mcdougallc	3	751	Nov 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	Scared......Nervous.....Excited (Preview) Hi everyone!I've come here seeking advice.....support....basically just want to know I'm not alone! I am attending AlAnon, but have not reached out to get a sponsor yet. My AH comes home from Rehab tomorrow. He put himself there 30 days ago. I am scared to death! Prior to him going, I was ready to leave...	IsLoveEnough	6	562	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to Alanon (Preview) I am new to this site, new to Alanon and new to the community I have just moved to. Feeling like I don't have much of a support network here yet. I guess I will introduce myself a bit... I grew up in a home where my dad was an active alcoholic. He left and my parents split when I was around 8 years old. I honestly d...	RavenGirl	4	522	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	constant anger at my abf (Preview) Is it normal to be constantly mad at my abf? I have tried and tried to he a good mate, understanding, loving, etc. Everytime i open myself up to himband HIS needs, he takes more and disregards my efforts. Things had been going ok the past few weeks, until Friday nite when ge got smasbed and crashed his seco...	lisad67	15	779	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	What's wrong with me (Preview) boyfreind doing everything he can to get back with me even wants to marry me but when I asked to look at his cell ph. Cause it rings a lot he wouldn't let me.i told him we wasn't gonna work again cause we broke up over his cell ph. He would tell me it was one thing then when I snuck around and looked at it it was lov...	lookingup	11	774	Nov 24, 2015 by Carmel 15
	Gaslighting (Preview) I've recently stumbled across the term gaslighting. I think this is what happens with me and my AH. I want to find out more about it. Here's my example....the other night my husband and I are arguing and he says "and I tried to be more engaged and stay and chat with your family since you got so angry th...	KT2015	14	1541	Nov 24, 2015 by KT2015
	ODAT 11/24 (Preview) Today's page points to the the true strength and gift of AlAnon meetings and program: growth and recovery. Serial, detailed reports of the negative behavior of others in our lives takes the focus away from ourselves and away from the real, much healthier focus of the program: how we overcame the cha...	Enigmatic	2	568	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	Turning it over to my higher power (Preview) I really need to let go and let God these 3:30 a.m. wake up calls are no longer fun. I always try to over analyze every situation I have no control over this man lol I can't force him to get sober, I don't know if we're going to the dinner on Thursday..should I go solo, do i need to pick him up,what if they ask wh...	ceewi	4	505	Nov 24, 2015 by ceewi
	Hope for today nov 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about being willing to do the work necessary in recovery. It's about the willingness to ask for help and the willingness to take it. This reading is about reaching out when one needs help, and about reaching out when someone else is in need. For me this makes...	yanksfan51	2	457	Nov 24, 2015 by hotrod
	Do "Interventions" Do Any Good? (Preview) I'm very troubled. My adult son and his girlfriend are trying to get their lives together. They are both working, and contributing to the bills, etc. But they are very in-denial of their out-of-control drinking. It's getting violent between them. Many family members are concerned, yet at the...	Bonnie8765	21	1068	Nov 23, 2015 by Bonnie8765
	To Be Detox'd or Not To Be Detox'd, that is the question... (Preview) Hello, this is my first post here. My husband (retired) is an alcoholic and physically addicted. He had ascities and a shunt "installed" in his liver a few years ago. He is still currently drinking. It doesn't take much for me to know he is drinking, because I smell it on him and his speech &am...	Worried Wife	3	548	Nov 23, 2015 by hotrod
	OFFTOPIC/Maybe Not (Preview) Everytime I read this board and everytime i think of my own situation..I wish I was a billionaire. If I was I would establish nice affordable apartments for people leaving their partner because of their alcoholic/addict behavior. There are domestic shelters, homeless shelters etc There are drug/...	YARNCRAZY	3	449	Nov 23, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Letting go... (Preview) As some time goes by, I'm starting to realize that I'm letting go of some of the anger and resentment. I know that this is good for me because right now it is only hurting me, but it is also scaring me as I experience new feelings. I am realizing that I do miss this addict/alcoholic in some ways. When our rel...	OceanTide	6	761	Nov 23, 2015 by Green Eyes
	Finally we talked (Preview) After a long week trying to put together my emotions after my boyfriends 4 day binge I finally had a talk with him. I told him that I was having a hard time after everything that happened and that I was working on myself and my boundaries. I also said that I am still not sure that I want to be with him yet when th...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	457	Nov 23, 2015 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	One day at a time 11-23 (Preview) I wanted to share the reading from the One day at a Time Reader for today. It really spoke to me! It talks about not being afraid of anything just for today, and to track down and expose nameless things in my head that I dread but are likely not a reality. It reminds me that HP is in charge if I accept that guida...	OceanTide	2	296	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Question about BAC (Preview) I have read quite a bit about how to cope with alcoholism, esp in marriage, but realize my understanding of the physical effects is limited. I am going to order a book that was recommended here, and in the meantime, I wonder if anyone can answer this question. Last night, my AH blew into a breathalyzer. H...	oceanpine	4	523	Nov 23, 2015 by Mattie
	so difficult not to engage and just walk away (Preview) I am in the midst of i dont know what, but i know its norhing good......we get through one day of not fighting, only because his son is here, and now that his son has gone home, the bottle of vodka is open and his anger mode is flipped on. Why is it that hevis always the one who needs something when someone has p...	lisad67	7	710	Nov 23, 2015 by ceewi
	Peace (Preview) Wow! Can't believe it's only been a week since I came back through these doors after a long absence I was a hot mess, totally shell shocked..my guy gave me a ring,told me he uses meth and wrecked his bike..ummm ok But guess what. Once I got back to focusing on me,none of that mattered. I was able to detach,...	ceewi	4	405	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 11-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, November 23 speaks about the slogan "keep it simple". The reading goes on to point out that many times we become overwhelmed and don't even start a project because we approach the task as a whole iInstead of piece by piece. We can simplify each task by taking it one...	hotrod	3	584	Nov 23, 2015 by Iamhere
	Please help me (Preview) Hello, I am in dire need of help and I hope someone can inspire me. I have been with a alcoholic/meth addict for 9 years off and on. Currently he has been sober for 2 and 1/2 weeks. 2 and 1/2 weeks ago he randomly relapsed on alcohol, drove his motorcycle drunk and crashed almost killing himself. I feel s...	sunflower22	10	674	Nov 23, 2015 by Debb
	Was I wrong? (Preview) Hi Friends, I think I need some validation today My 28-year-old AS has used drugs/alcohol to different degrees since he was a teen. He has really struggled. He and I have always been close even though he has lived across the country for most of the last 8 years. About four years ago he was charged with...	carolm	2	518	Nov 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	What is right thinking on alcoholism? (Preview) After dating my first alcoholic boyfriend this year, I've realized that this is the first time in my life I've had to take a real hard look at alcoholism and I am trying to wrap my head around it all... I am a nurse and in my chaotic world of work I am exposed to alcoholics d.a.i.l.y. After 9 years of watching...	Nova	6	638	Nov 22, 2015 by Freetime
	Big girl panties (Preview) I know the title is strange, a friend told me that when I was whining. .time to put on the big girl panties and deal with it. Loving an addict is not for the weak,you may feel weak at times but all the things that we handle we're pretty tough folks. My 2 hour volunteer event yesterday turned into an all day aff...	ceewi	6	379	Nov 22, 2015 by ceewi
	So nervous and uneasy (Preview) I am a bundle of nerves right now. Since I moved out on July 8, due to my AH's lying, hiding, and pattern of saying unkind and cruel things to me in front of our children, I have been renting a little cottage a couple miles from our house. He "does not like" the situation, and keeps telling me I s...	oceanpine	4	695	Nov 22, 2015 by oceanpine
	Courage to Change Reading 11-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for 11 22 reminds us that alanon is a spiritual program. That one of the results of living with the disease of alcoholism is that we tend to lose our" Spirit" because life become a survival game filled with fear and simply accomplishing the "Daily grind." . W...	hotrod	9	467	Nov 22, 2015 by hotrod
	chat room entrance (Preview) Not sure why, but I am able to get on the board but not in the chat room. Have I been band? I even restored my computer and still cannot get in	Broken513	16	438	Nov 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just thinking our loud (Preview) I want to thank everyone who read and gave an answer to my other post. It is most kind of you all. I am starting to learn that being in recovery is the only way to enjoy life. You see, I now realize that I don't really enjoy my life. Who would want to live like I do. I spend way too much of my time thinking...	lookingforme	4	394	Nov 22, 2015 by Debb
	community outreach (Preview) Why I love my small community so much! I just want to send a shout out to those who come through at times when we really need them & each other. All of you have been there for me I am sure you would help someone if you could even if it were just prayers kind words or thoughts. Some of our members are struggl...	Hoot Nanny	5	414	Nov 22, 2015 by Debb
	Another Birthday :) (Preview) So today is another marked year of doing things very differently .. I don't know if it's been right or wrong .. it just is and I'm ok with that. I will have to go fairly radio silent over the next few months so much has been going on. Biggest issue is we are headed back into court because my X is refusing to fi...	SerenityRUS	10	541	Nov 21, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tough day but serenity intact (Preview) AW has been going to AA for a couple of months but is continually relapsing back to 3/4 day binges. Ive had to set boundaries and she was told recently that if drunk again in the house then i would ask her to leave and she would only come back in when sobber. Despite a good start she decided to test said bounda...	Lee8375	3	472	Nov 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	what's my role in this. (Preview) so I've been a posting loon lately totally reactive and not at all sensible. I'm tired. I want to let go and let god with my whole mum situation and I'm not sure how. Drama, drama drama. I feel bad about a family situation, a wide ranging one. I'm taking comfort knowing that were all affected and condition...	a4l	8	518	Nov 21, 2015 by a4l
	searching for the right thing to do (Preview) Last night my abf crashed his motorcycle, pretty much totalled it. I had to pick him up, and he was trashed. I was so angry about the danger hecput himself and the person involved in the accident, never mind his attitude about the entire thing. He thinks he is indestructable. Wechave a three yo and he hel...	lisad67	2	320	Nov 21, 2015 by Debb
	Happy Saturday (Preview) Today I begin a new day I am the master of my abilities and today is going to be a great and beautiful day..dunno who the author is.. Yesterday is done! I'm so glad cuz it was horrible..ya ever try to have a conversation with someone crashing. .umm ookay..ya crashed the bike..didn't go to the hospital..I...	ceewi	5	444	Nov 21, 2015 by Iamhere
	So damn angry (Preview) One of my challenges is releasing this anger i carry around. Since my abf and i have been together i have taken on so much weight of anger from things that have ocurred, during his drunkiness. Whenever something upsets him, he starys with the heavy drinking. Today he found out something that understan...	lisad67	6	606	Nov 21, 2015 by OceanTide
	It hurts (Preview) It hurts to love an addict. I have a boyfriend that is on my mind all the time. We do not live together, but I would like to live with him He uses and drinks a lot. He calls when he wants to and sometimes it is weeks before he calls me to ask me out. He is addicted to drugs and boozes but I am addicted to him...	lookingforme	5	525	Nov 21, 2015 by daze
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.