Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

lookingup · lookingup

hp- be his or let him be your tin God???? What's the definition or what exactly is this meaning? What is the message it's trying to get across and is everybody got a diff. Interpretation of this saying .?Plz anyone give me esh on this one....confused......hugs lu

oceanpine · oceanpine

My AH and I moved 800 miles away from our parents, siblings, etc almost 3 years ago. It has been very difficult for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, due to his active A behavior. Two years ago this week, I threw together an emergency intervention, with new neighbors and friends who had witn...

joker · joker

I am grateful today as I had a great night sleep, despite the abf getting drunk. We worked all day in the back yard and he drank all day but did work. By evening, he was getting drunker and had to go for a beer run. I admit, I enabled him, by driving to the liquor store. He made a fire outside in the fire pit in the...

Aerin · Aerin

He constantly says he knows he has a binge drinking "issue", and that one day he will conquer the "demon". So basically he goes 5 days without drinking, sees that as progress and "rewards" himself with a few drinks! He refuses to see that as going backwards in his goal! He loves to say there is nothing wro...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Spent thurs,Fri,sat and 1/2 sunday at his house. We worked so hard at our yard sale there,im exhausted. Anyway, during a lull a kind of strange friend of his sidled up to me and said, " you should stop talking about your X because H doesnt like it[ H is my boyfriend]. So when H and I were taking a break, I said...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 30 speaks about the importance of " patience". It points out that often, prior to program, we have handled issues by simply ignoring them, and had little success with this process. This is denial Thanks to Al-Anon we no longer have to wait for situation to explode. before...

lookingup · lookingup

ive never been on a airplane in my 52 yrs of life,and lived here in Mississippi most of my life,my sil joined the airforce 8 yrs ago he and my daughter been doing the over seas only ,just the way they chose to do it,my only grand babies travel with them,my daughter has several times over the years to get me on...

Jennyp · Jennyp

I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority...

Jaclyn · Jaclyn

Hi All, It's been a few weeks since I last posted... I have been reading others' posts, but have not wanted to be repetitive re my own problems/circumstances - which I am sad to report have not changed (referencing the mystery illness). I had been doing a bit better with my obsessing (bit being the opera...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 8 Has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together http://stepwork.activeboard.com...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today , May 1, talks about some of our negative habits that keep us unhappy and living in the victim role.It goes on to indicate that when we "day dream" and think "if ionly" my partner was sober, rich, more successful then I would be happy. It suggest that by so doing .many of us hav...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, I got a text from my exBF after two weeks of no contact. He just said 'Hi, I hope you are doing okay'. I received the text just as I was heading out the door to meet up with a guy friend of mine to listen to a band and dance. I felt incredibly guilty. I responded to him this morning and said that I...

Fedora · Fedora

My mother knows my AH drinks too much. She doesn't live near us, but she has spent enough time, she knows. My MIL, as far as I know, doesn't know that AH drinks. He has gone to great lengths to hide it from her all our dating/married lives. His brother does the same. She was married to an alcoholic (AH's dad...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm wondering if I'm getting these 2 confused,my feelings and gut feelings ,I e been told several times that my gut feelings were wrong,and I'd get mad but maybe their right,that's coming from my qualifiers they (my abf) at the time now my xabf Has said this to me that my gut was usually wrong .anybody kn...

ksmom80 · ksmom80

I'm using talk to text so I apologize in advance for any typos so I'm less than 12 hours away from facing the alcoholic and drug addict father of my two-year-old son I have PTSD from his emotional abuse and the flashbacks have been horrible all day I thought I had protected myself as well as my child by ente...

Jim521 · Jim521

Hi All, I`ve been browsing the forum for a while now and thought it would be good to sign up. I`ve been with my AOH for around 18 months now and through many ups and downs she is finally doing various stints in between relapses (just over 3 weeks currently. Shes currently in AA and seems to be going on a regul...

Fooled · Fooled

I always thought my mother and I were very close. We live in different states and we talked on the phone quite frequently until my AH hit his rock bottom. I called her the other day just to check in as she had been sick and she is almost 80 so sometimes I worry. The conversation was very cold on her end....

lookingup · lookingup

As you all know or most on here about my a/sister that Li Es here with me and in no program or gets any help,getting on with my story she decided to get off her 20 yr opioids addictions,on her own she says,I had told here that she couldn't do it on her own that she would need help,she says she had to detox hersel...

joker · joker

I wrote down all my fears about my abf drinking today and it was 2 pages of dread. I fear this..that would happen if the drinking does not stop. I am fearing for him, and not myself. He does not care about the fears I project. He just lives in the moment and drinks. Yet, here I am fearing this or that outcome fo...

Sonny123 · Sonny123

My brother has been an alcoholic for probably fourty years. He has many drunk driving violations and should probably be in jail for many years. I also believe he has mental illness. He is out on two separate bails and if found would definitely go to jail. He is in a remote location and now does not have a ca...

a4l · a4l

I no longer follow the urge to bang my head against them. My technical and legal husband is in our island of origin at the moment. we have a weird marriage. He lives and works in another state during the week and comes up on weekends. I tried to end it. He just ignored me and keeps coming back. More or less he...

Melmel69 · Melmel69

A few days ago my ex who I was with for 27 years died from complications of his acholisizm. I was hit so hard by his passing. I feel alone in my grief and overwhelmed. Has anyone else had this experience?????

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses seeing ourselves as we truly are today, in time, vs. how we perhaps felt as we grew up. Many of us grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. The writer discusses that even now, after years of recovery, past mistakes can come forward and reactio...

Asdfghjkl · Asdfghjkl

We're both in our early 30's, she's 18 months sober, we have successful careers and have been married for 1 year. It just so happens I work in a brewery and the resentment my wife shows towards me is getting to be detrimental to our marriage. Whenever I consume alcohol she gets angry with me. This leads to...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

I'm not sure whether I am expecting too much out of my sponsor or not but it seems every time I call her and I'm going through something that I need help with her response is "I'm sorry you are going through this, but this too shall pass, you just have to walk through it". I have told her that I want...

yippee1999 · yippee1999

Hi all. Attended my first meeting today. My sense is that attendees can talk out loud if they want, but that no one is supposed to give any feedback to others during a meeting...is that correct? I on the other hand feel that give and take...feedback...can be very helpful to others. For e.g., in toda...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And definitely handled much better because of the rock Al-Anon and my HP are in my life. Basics: Hospitalized for 8 days (barely remember 4 of them) with Gallstone Pancreatitis, poked by everyone, arms black and blue, home with incredible physical weakness I'd not experienced before, sent home to l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to get this out of my mind. I had a nightmare this morning. It was about a close friend her husband. It was so real it makes me sick. The dream was about them breaking up due to cheating. I wasn't really there for her except hugs. Now this was a dream for sure but this could happen. I guess this is probabl...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in the Courage to Change focuses on learning through our experiences. I am going to start with today's reminder - "Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to...

Stormyyoda · Stormyyoda

My husband is a drunk. He won't admit he has a problem but it is getting out of control. He seems to think he can handle it but once he starts there is no stopping him. I can't deal with it anymore. He rather drink then face life. Always threatening to leave me. How I make his lif bad. I have tried walking away a...

jocelgp · jocelgp

So there's a change in my husband's drinking habit. He doesn't go home in the wee hours, like a cinderella he's home by 12 mn and because the time is short, he was not able to drink as much. I thought I should be happy, i thought it was my husband's self determination... i learned that the reason for this is...

xirei · xirei

Hello, I'm new to Al-anon and I'm not sure if I'm 'doing it right'. I went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, I grew up around AA meetings with my dad and step mom, and yet for some reason until a friend invited me to go with her Al-Anon had never even occured to me. Durp. Anyway - It seems l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I figure I can get on here w nothing to do or say except I love you all. I have been having challenges but it is all good. Thanks for your support.

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So I stopped going to my meetings a few months ago and stopped coming here. I was struggling very much with pulling away from my ABF and I felt like Al Anon was playing a part in that. So I detached from my program. Then I just felt gilt from that. I felt like I had betrayed myself and my Al Anon family from not...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Since moving out onto my own for the first time ever, I have the confidence to be worthy, whole and own my time and space. I am amazed at how my life has changed when I dragged my sad miserable carcass into my first meeting a few years ago. My sponsor loved me until I really learned how to love myself. I have se...

Mommyof3 · Mommyof3

I have been married for 12 years. We have three children and I am concerned with what my children are seeing. My in-laws drink every evening after they get off of work. Overtime we have asked them to please not drink whenever they have the kids over. It always concerns me, what they are seeing. Are the gr...

Inga · Inga

Hello! I am finding here many that talk about their stupid boyfriends, etc. and I want to talk to you women having long term marriages like I have. Tell me: all about yourselves. I would very much like to know. Share with me please. I need to discuss my issues, but I am quite leary to share with someone...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading in C2C is one of my favourites. Its beautiful. It has such simple wisdom in it. It says 'I block my own well being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me' So true. I have identified one of my shortcomings as people pleasing and looking for validation of my worth fr...

Fooled · Fooled

I rounded out my birthday weekend with something that I love to do....yard work. Sunday was a day of weeding and moving plants, mowing the lawn. I went to a plant auction on Saturday and I got two things I have always wanted....a Crepe Myrtle tree and a weeping cherry tree. So Sunday was also a day of di...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others. Th...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am in Kansas so if any of you watch weather, you know that the middle of the country is under severe weather watches, warnings, complete with strong wind, heavy downpours, flash flooding and tornadoes!! So - it's Tuesday and Tuesday is softball night - 4 games each week. Well - nobody thought we woul...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C addresses the denial many of us develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that even thog we may have been living for years with doubt, fear, chaos and all manner of unpleasant emotions and situations, we develop the habit of assuring everyone else, and ourselves th...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- The focus of today's reading is humility. There is a sentence on the page that says it all for me: 'Attempting to work the program has given me some humility.' Well ain't that the truth! I think once I started working on my recovery, one of the concepts I worked on accepting had t...

KT2015 · KT2015

Before Al Anon I was someone who stuffed her feelings down. I would ignore, push through and stuff down any bad feeling I had. I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling. Instead I was running around interpreting and being affected by other people's moods and feelings. Don't get me wrong I could neve...

AJR1983 · AJR1983

Hi there. I Googled this site on the recommendation from my mom. I currently an in a relationship and his drinking is affecting everything. He is depressed and the drinking makes it worse. Or maybe his drinking makes him depressed. I don't know how to handle it. Is this the place for me? I am not religiou...

Luke 1234 · Luke 1234

im new to this and want to go to meetings but I'm to scared. My head is going mental at the moment yet the person in my life with this illness she has hasn't picked up for over two weeks. I really need some help

vorpal · vorpal

Hi everyone, I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years. The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attenti...

Changejones · Changejones

I am a 22 year old lady from the united kingdom and am very new to the programme / alanon, i have only been to 2 meetings. My mum is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years but it has left me completely destroyed and riddled with depression and anxiety which is completely ruining my relationship with my partner...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been pondering this and thinking about what it was about my own journey that helped me commit to this program. I know that i reached a bottom, a place of utter hoplessness. I had finally run out of my own ideas and solutions, that were of course not solutions. I remember feeling like putting my hands u...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Life has been busy .. busy is good.. I have found you tube "hope and Healing 24/7" from alanon seminars... Oh my .. do I highly recommend them! I have the past year been doing so much personal growth .. my new "addiction" is audio books (being careful with this)... I came across these seminar recordings...

Fooled · Fooled

Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from thei...

hopeful987 · hopeful987

Is there anyone on here that is working through adjusting to life with a man who is working towards sobriety and is doing well (He started rehab April 2015 and relapsed twice, last relapse August 2015) AND at the same time also trying to not only forgive the alcohol but is having a harder time forgiving...

Truth · Truth

Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...

Mirandac · Mirandac

My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...

hotrod · Newbie

CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...

debvin22 · debvin22

Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...

Rosemeyer · Rosemeyer

It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...

gribouille2701 · gribouille2701

Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Higher power (Preview) hp- be his or let him be your tin God???? What's the definition or what exactly is this meaning? What is the message it's trying to get across and is everybody got a diff. Interpretation of this saying .?Plz anyone give me esh on this one....confused......hugs lu	lookingup	3	497	May 3, 2016 by lookingup
	Would like some ESH (Preview) My AH and I moved 800 miles away from our parents, siblings, etc almost 3 years ago. It has been very difficult for a number of reasons, but first and foremost, due to his active A behavior. Two years ago this week, I threw together an emergency intervention, with new neighbors and friends who had witn...	oceanpine	7	651	May 3, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Grateful today (Preview) I am grateful today as I had a great night sleep, despite the abf getting drunk. We worked all day in the back yard and he drank all day but did work. By evening, he was getting drunker and had to go for a beer run. I admit, I enabled him, by driving to the liquor store. He made a fire outside in the fire pit in the...	joker	1	465	May 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	He Refuses To See Drinking As Bad (Preview) He constantly says he knows he has a binge drinking "issue", and that one day he will conquer the "demon". So basically he goes 5 days without drinking, sees that as progress and "rewards" himself with a few drinks! He refuses to see that as going backwards in his goal! He loves to say there is nothing wro...	Aerin	8	672	May 2, 2016 by KT2015
	Learned valuable lesson from boyfriend (Preview) Spent thurs,Fri,sat and 1/2 sunday at his house. We worked so hard at our yard sale there,im exhausted. Anyway, during a lull a kind of strange friend of his sidled up to me and said, " you should stop talking about your X because H doesnt like it[ H is my boyfriend]. So when H and I were taking a break, I said...	YARNCRAZY	6	624	May 2, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Courage to Change Reading 4-30-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 30 speaks about the importance of " patience". It points out that often, prior to program, we have handled issues by simply ignoring them, and had little success with this process. This is denial Thanks to Al-Anon we no longer have to wait for situation to explode. before...	hotrod	4	673	May 2, 2016 by Mirandac
	Going to japan (Preview) ive never been on a airplane in my 52 yrs of life,and lived here in Mississippi most of my life,my sil joined the airforce 8 yrs ago he and my daughter been doing the over seas only ,just the way they chose to do it,my only grand babies travel with them,my daughter has several times over the years to get me on...	lookingup	5	710	May 2, 2016 by lookingup
	Priorities (Preview) I know I can't control him or cure him but some days, it hurts me so deeply that I am at the bottom of his prority list. I am very ill today and he said he would bring me ginger ale on his way home, should be about half an hour he said. 3 hours ago and I know he has been drinking all day and " one more" takes priority...	Jennyp	6	642	May 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Will It Ever Stop? (Preview) Hi All, It's been a few weeks since I last posted... I have been reading others' posts, but have not wanted to be repetitive re my own problems/circumstances - which I am sad to report have not changed (referencing the mystery illness). I had been doing a bit better with my obsessing (bit being the opera...	Jaclyn	5	616	May 2, 2016 by el-cee
	Step 8 Posted (Preview) Step 8 Has been posted to the Step Board. Please join in and share your thoughts Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together http://stepwork.activeboard.com...	hotrod	0	374	May 1, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 5-1-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for today , May 1, talks about some of our negative habits that keep us unhappy and living in the victim role.It goes on to indicate that when we "day dream" and think "if ionly" my partner was sober, rich, more successful then I would be happy. It suggest that by so doing .many of us hav...	hotrod	4	540	May 1, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Heard from exBF (Preview) Hi everyone, I got a text from my exBF after two weeks of no contact. He just said 'Hi, I hope you are doing okay'. I received the text just as I was heading out the door to meet up with a guy friend of mine to listen to a band and dance. I felt incredibly guilty. I responded to him this morning and said that I...	CyndiODAT	10	744	May 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	meddling mothers? (Preview) My mother knows my AH drinks too much. She doesn't live near us, but she has spent enough time, she knows. My MIL, as far as I know, doesn't know that AH drinks. He has gone to great lengths to hide it from her all our dating/married lives. His brother does the same. She was married to an alcoholic (AH's dad...	Fedora	8	683	May 1, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Feelings versus intuition or gut feelings (Preview) I'm wondering if I'm getting these 2 confused,my feelings and gut feelings ,I e been told several times that my gut feelings were wrong,and I'd get mad but maybe their right,that's coming from my qualifiers they (my abf) at the time now my xabf Has said this to me that my gut was usually wrong .anybody kn...	lookingup	10	750	May 1, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	urgent child custody trial tomorrow (Preview) I'm using talk to text so I apologize in advance for any typos so I'm less than 12 hours away from facing the alcoholic and drug addict father of my two-year-old son I have PTSD from his emotional abuse and the flashbacks have been horrible all day I thought I had protected myself as well as my child by ente...	ksmom80	12	736	May 1, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I`m new here (Preview) Hi All, I`ve been browsing the forum for a while now and thought it would be good to sign up. I`ve been with my AOH for around 18 months now and through many ups and downs she is finally doing various stints in between relapses (just over 3 weeks currently. Shes currently in AA and seems to be going on a regul...	Jim521	18	998	May 1, 2016 by Jim521
	Blindsided (Preview) I always thought my mother and I were very close. We live in different states and we talked on the phone quite frequently until my AH hit his rock bottom. I called her the other day just to check in as she had been sick and she is almost 80 so sometimes I worry. The conversation was very cold on her end....	Fooled	11	713	May 1, 2016 by hotrod
	Need help with this one (Preview) As you all know or most on here about my a/sister that Li Es here with me and in no program or gets any help,getting on with my story she decided to get off her 20 yr opioids addictions,on her own she says,I had told here that she couldn't do it on her own that she would need help,she says she had to detox hersel...	lookingup	7	671	May 1, 2016 by a4l
	Reacting to fear (Preview) I wrote down all my fears about my abf drinking today and it was 2 pages of dread. I fear this..that would happen if the drinking does not stop. I am fearing for him, and not myself. He does not care about the fears I project. He just lives in the moment and drinks. Yet, here I am fearing this or that outcome fo...	joker	6	621	Apr 30, 2016 by Jerry F
	New here Urgently Need Advice (Preview) My brother has been an alcoholic for probably fourty years. He has many drunk driving violations and should probably be in jail for many years. I also believe he has mental illness. He is out on two separate bails and if found would definitely go to jail. He is in a remote location and now does not have a ca...	Sonny123	18	642	Apr 30, 2016 by Sonny123
	when brick walls talk back (Preview) I no longer follow the urge to bang my head against them. My technical and legal husband is in our island of origin at the moment. we have a weird marriage. He lives and works in another state during the week and comes up on weekends. I tried to end it. He just ignored me and keeps coming back. More or less he...	a4l	4	735	Apr 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Grief (Preview) A few days ago my ex who I was with for 27 years died from complications of his acholisizm. I was hit so hard by his passing. I feel alone in my grief and overwhelmed. Has anyone else had this experience?????	Melmel69	8	1352	Apr 29, 2016 by Bethany66
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/29/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses seeing ourselves as we truly are today, in time, vs. how we perhaps felt as we grew up. Many of us grew up with guilt and blame, amidst harsh criticism and constant fear. The writer discusses that even now, after years of recovery, past mistakes can come forward and reactio...	Iamhere	1	609	Apr 29, 2016 by hotrod
	My wife is in recovery and I work at a brewery (Preview) We're both in our early 30's, she's 18 months sober, we have successful careers and have been married for 1 year. It just so happens I work in a brewery and the resentment my wife shows towards me is getting to be detrimental to our marriage. Whenever I consume alcohol she gets angry with me. This leads to...	Asdfghjkl	7	661	Apr 29, 2016 by Fooled
	Sponsor question (Preview) I'm not sure whether I am expecting too much out of my sponsor or not but it seems every time I call her and I'm going through something that I need help with her response is "I'm sorry you are going through this, but this too shall pass, you just have to walk through it". I have told her that I want...	Mobirdie	8	729	Apr 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Attended my first ever meeting today...anyone here to answer some questions? (Preview) Hi all. Attended my first meeting today. My sense is that attendees can talk out loud if they want, but that no one is supposed to give any feedback to others during a meeting...is that correct? I on the other hand feel that give and take...feedback...can be very helpful to others. For e.g., in toda...	yippee1999	8	571	Apr 28, 2016 by Jerry F
	Illness and surgery (Preview) And definitely handled much better because of the rock Al-Anon and my HP are in my life. Basics: Hospitalized for 8 days (barely remember 4 of them) with Gallstone Pancreatitis, poked by everyone, arms black and blue, home with incredible physical weakness I'd not experienced before, sent home to l...	likemyheart	7	560	Apr 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	dreams & infidelity (Preview) I have to get this out of my mind. I had a nightmare this morning. It was about a close friend her husband. It was so real it makes me sick. The dream was about them breaking up due to cheating. I wasn't really there for her except hugs. Now this was a dream for sure but this could happen. I guess this is probabl...	Hoot Nanny	3	1799	Apr 28, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change (C2C) 4/28/16 (Preview) Today's reading in the Courage to Change focuses on learning through our experiences. I am going to start with today's reminder - "Anything and everything about me can be used for my good. If I feel insecure or frightened today, I will remember that my fear is a signal that there is something for me to...	Iamhere	4	691	Apr 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just can't take anymore (Preview) My husband is a drunk. He won't admit he has a problem but it is getting out of control. He seems to think he can handle it but once he starts there is no stopping him. I can't deal with it anymore. He rather drink then face life. Always threatening to leave me. How I make his lif bad. I have tried walking away a...	Stormyyoda	17	1014	Apr 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	changes in my husband's drinking pattern.. i should be happy but i'm not... how do i process this? (Preview) So there's a change in my husband's drinking habit. He doesn't go home in the wee hours, like a cinderella he's home by 12 mn and because the time is short, he was not able to drink as much. I thought I should be happy, i thought it was my husband's self determination... i learned that the reason for this is...	jocelgp	12	751	Apr 28, 2016 by jocelgp
	Hi, I'm new here... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to Al-anon and I'm not sure if I'm 'doing it right'. I went to my first meeting a couple of weeks ago. Ironically, I grew up around AA meetings with my dad and step mom, and yet for some reason until a friend invited me to go with her Al-Anon had never even occured to me. Durp. Anyway - It seems l...	xirei	6	686	Apr 27, 2016 by xirei
	alone w nothing to do. (Preview) I figure I can get on here w nothing to do or say except I love you all. I have been having challenges but it is all good. Thanks for your support.	Hoot Nanny	4	463	Apr 27, 2016 by hotrod
	Have been gone for a bit (Preview) So I stopped going to my meetings a few months ago and stopped coming here. I was struggling very much with pulling away from my ABF and I felt like Al Anon was playing a part in that. So I detached from my program. Then I just felt gilt from that. I felt like I had betrayed myself and my Al Anon family from not...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	5	515	Apr 27, 2016 by hotrod
	What alanon has done for me thus far..... (Preview) Since moving out onto my own for the first time ever, I have the confidence to be worthy, whole and own my time and space. I am amazed at how my life has changed when I dragged my sad miserable carcass into my first meeting a few years ago. My sponsor loved me until I really learned how to love myself. I have se...	Breakingfree	13	750	Apr 27, 2016 by likemyheart
	Am I overreacting? (Preview) I have been married for 12 years. We have three children and I am concerned with what my children are seeing. My in-laws drink every evening after they get off of work. Overtime we have asked them to please not drink whenever they have the kids over. It always concerns me, what they are seeing. Are the gr...	Mommyof3	16	810	Apr 27, 2016 by Mattie
	Women of Long Term Marriages ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hello! I am finding here many that talk about their stupid boyfriends, etc. and I want to talk to you women having long term marriages like I have. Tell me: all about yourselves. I would very much like to know. Share with me please. I need to discuss my issues, but I am quite leary to share with someone...	Inga	53	1732	Apr 27, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	Self Love (Preview) Todays reading in C2C is one of my favourites. Its beautiful. It has such simple wisdom in it. It says 'I block my own well being each time I base my self worth on what I do or what others think of me' So true. I have identified one of my shortcomings as people pleasing and looking for validation of my worth fr...	el-cee	3	745	Apr 27, 2016 by Mirandac
	MUSCLE RUB NAZI (Preview) I rounded out my birthday weekend with something that I love to do....yard work. Sunday was a day of weeding and moving plants, mowing the lawn. I went to a plant auction on Saturday and I got two things I have always wanted....a Crepe Myrtle tree and a weeping cherry tree. So Sunday was also a day of di...	Fooled	18	2964	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 27/4 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about loving and accepting ourselves. It suggests that even if we could make all of the people around us happy and "straighten them out" it would probably not increase our self esteem, in fact it probably makes it worse as we lose ourselves in the process of "sorting out" others. Th...	missmeliss	2	545	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Silly Silly Softball People (Preview) I am in Kansas so if any of you watch weather, you know that the middle of the country is under severe weather watches, warnings, complete with strong wind, heavy downpours, flash flooding and tornadoes!! So - it's Tuesday and Tuesday is softball night - 4 games each week. Well - nobody thought we woul...	Iamhere	3	568	Apr 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 25/4 (Preview) Today's C2C addresses the denial many of us develop when living with the disease of alcoholism. It points out that even thog we may have been living for years with doubt, fear, chaos and all manner of unpleasant emotions and situations, we develop the habit of assuring everyone else, and ourselves th...	missmeliss	4	537	Apr 26, 2016 by Jennyp
	Hope for Today Apr 26 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- The focus of today's reading is humility. There is a sentence on the page that says it all for me: 'Attempting to work the program has given me some humility.' Well ain't that the truth! I think once I started working on my recovery, one of the concepts I worked on accepting had t...	yanksfan51	6	549	Apr 26, 2016 by sweetness34
	Feeling my feelings is hard (Preview) Before Al Anon I was someone who stuffed her feelings down. I would ignore, push through and stuff down any bad feeling I had. I wasn't even aware of what I was feeling. Instead I was running around interpreting and being affected by other people's moods and feelings. Don't get me wrong I could neve...	KT2015	6	3108	Apr 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Very new and lost (Preview) Hi there. I Googled this site on the recommendation from my mom. I currently an in a relationship and his drinking is affecting everything. He is depressed and the drinking makes it worse. Or maybe his drinking makes him depressed. I don't know how to handle it. Is this the place for me? I am not religiou...	AJR1983	8	567	Apr 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Going out of my mind (Preview) im new to this and want to go to meetings but I'm to scared. My head is going mental at the moment yet the person in my life with this illness she has hasn't picked up for over two weeks. I really need some help	Luke 1234	11	777	Apr 26, 2016 by KT2015
	Acceptance in the middle of crisis (Preview) Hi everyone, I have gained a great deal of strength from this board, and turn to posting tonight as a step in my own recovery, which has been going on for over 33 years. The last two months have been unrelenting. Two of my sisters have medical conditions that have required a great deal of time and attenti...	vorpal	11	670	Apr 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Very new to this - 2 alanon meetings along and struggling within myself, need some support (Preview) I am a 22 year old lady from the united kingdom and am very new to the programme / alanon, i have only been to 2 meetings. My mum is a recovering alcoholic of 10 years but it has left me completely destroyed and riddled with depression and anxiety which is completely ruining my relationship with my partner...	Changejones	8	635	Apr 26, 2016 by Changejones
	Is surrender vital? (Preview) Ive been pondering this and thinking about what it was about my own journey that helped me commit to this program. I know that i reached a bottom, a place of utter hoplessness. I had finally run out of my own ideas and solutions, that were of course not solutions. I remember feeling like putting my hands u...	el-cee	5	659	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	I have missed my friends here.. (Preview) Life has been busy .. busy is good.. I have found you tube "hope and Healing 24/7" from alanon seminars... Oh my .. do I highly recommend them! I have the past year been doing so much personal growth .. my new "addiction" is audio books (being careful with this)... I came across these seminar recordings...	sweeetr	2	2349	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Kindness to myself (Preview) Today is my birthday. Its like the cold war here. AH is in a full relapse. There is no more slips, there is nothing but active drinking. Every day. He drives home that way from work-an hour. Last night he said he would be home at 730 so that I could go to my face to face, my children called me from thei...	Fooled	12	887	Apr 25, 2016 by lookingup
	Alcoholism and an Affair (Preview) Is there anyone on here that is working through adjusting to life with a man who is working towards sobriety and is doing well (He started rehab April 2015 and relapsed twice, last relapse August 2015) AND at the same time also trying to not only forgive the alcohol but is having a harder time forgiving...	hopeful987	8	1076	Apr 25, 2016 by Luke 1234
	Baby Steps (Preview) Well I do see now how when you decide to become self-aware (recognizing and feeling your feelings) how others get upset and try to get you to change back into what you formerly were doing. This past week I have been accused twice of overthinking things/acting too old/over analytical. The same two peop...	Truth	11	608	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	My father passed away (Preview) My dry A father has passed away, he had shock treatments to treat his disease years ago. He moved on and remarried And formed a new family. We were mostly forgotten, I have had a semi relationship with him Unlike the other Siblings. My step sister let me know he was sick then in a hospice facility, chec...	Mirandac	31	724	Apr 25, 2016 by Mirandac
	Moved this post by CheezyNana a new member from Sticky (Preview) CheeezyNana Newbie Status: OnlinePosts: 2Date: 6m ago Permalink Reply Quote More Hi ! Several comments on the message boards indicate the importance of attending local Al Anon meetings. Are there ways to know that an Al Anon group is focused on Recovery? I have been a part of one local grou...	hotrod	4	627	Apr 25, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question for Hawaii Double Winners or Maui Residents only please (Preview) First, I'd like to apologize for asking a question for my RAH. He has, however, asked me to find out if there are any good AA meetings on Maui that he might attend while we are on vacation. We will be there for a few weeks at the end of this month and beginning of next month and he does not want to go that long wit...	Doingmybest	3	2360	Apr 25, 2016 by Doingmybest
	NEED YOUR THOUGHTS (Preview) I AM STILL TRYING TO GET A JOB AND ALSO TRYING TO GET THIS DIVORCE DONE,ETC. xah IS COMING OUT OF REHAB SOON AND HIS SISTER HAS LIED TO ME ABOUT SERVING HIM THE DIVORCE PAPERS ETC. SHE IS IN EUROPE SO I HAVE TO WAIT TIL SHE GETS BACK. tHAT IS NOT WHAT I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT. mY NEW BOYFRIEND[4MTHS] ARE GETTI...	YARNCRAZY	5	527	Apr 25, 2016 by hotrod
	New here and just left alcoholic spouse of 18 years (Preview) Hello. I have neen reading the posts and it is helping some. I just recently told my alcoholic husband I wanted a divorce. He is a functioning alcoholic but it has started to affect his life more and more. He does not see the problem. Our kids who are older do see it along with others that are concerned. He h...	debvin22	7	644	Apr 24, 2016 by Iamhere
	Explaining alcoholism, detachment and forgiveness to a disabled Adult Child??? (Preview) It's hard enough for me to understand, especially because AH was a dry drunk for 20 of the 43 years we were married. My only child who is 38 and has Down Syndrome, is a very capable and remarkably aware person. She can get her head around "disease" and (as we laughingly call it) "brain cloud". She had al...	Rosemeyer	3	483	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	my mum is in danger and I don't know what to do and how to do it (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm 34 and my mum is 59, she has been drinking for twenty years now. At first it was in the evening, then during the whole weekend and when she lost her job, it started in the morning too. These last years it got worse, to the point that last year we had to take her to hospital because of cirrhosi...	gribouille2701	6	554	Apr 24, 2016 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.