Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

cm2772 · cm2772

Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I *can* change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of the concept of being gentle with ourselves, and how very foreign and strange that seems after living with alcoholism and hating ourselves for our shortcomings. The writer says they first managed this by imagining a kitten and the gentle and caring feelings a kitten would evoke...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Such a strange, new but not new place that my partner and I are at. He is working, comes to visit with the nicest of intentions, says he is so very sorry for the horrors that occurred in the past and, they will never happen again. The goal, according to him, is to work towards living together again. Which w...

Crochet mama · Crochet mama

My husband had been working his program and doing better, but it's been going the other way for a while, and has become unmanageable. After having consulted with addiction professionals, today I told him he cannot return to live in our home until he has completed 90 documented meetings in 90 days. He t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I've finally decided I'm ready to date which has been a major learning curve however all part of my recovery for which I'm very grateful for, I seriously have learned a lot about myself and I know what I want in a relationship. I sure know what I don't!!! It's one of those things that has been very inter...

cbehr · cbehr

Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.

NteacherJ · NteacherJ

I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship. I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning. I've b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will tell you why! God is blessing me & working in my life today. I am not the center of the universe. I know who holds the future & he is already there. I don't know what is to come but it looks bright in my little world. The world may be messy but I don't have to engage! That's the whole story. I am...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 28th, speaks about the habit of "comparing" which often leads to finding "ourselves lacking" and therefore to despairing. The reading goes on to say the only valid comparison we should make is to compare ourselves from yesterday to who we are today. We look at how w...

hotrod · hotrod

If you encountered the message:"The site has stepped out", when you attempted to log on, I am glad you found an alternate sign on route as John has been notified and it should be corrected soon.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Yesterdays Courage to Change reminded us that We dont see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Furthering that line of thought, the author of todays ODAT reading states that with the help of our higher power, we can see beyond what seems to be.We do this by lifting ourselves from the fog of our pro...

HITM · HITM

Hi all! I just started attending Al Anon meeting a few weeks ago and I've been reading "Hope for Today". I find it very helpful and insightful, even calming, but I need something to read to help me get started in the program. I don't have a sponsor yet so I'm hoping to get some tips for a good first book to rea...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 29th speaks about the two huge stumbling blocks of fear and worry. The reading points out that these painful feelings can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality. Many focuses on the future and this causes unrealistic worry.If we can learn to stay in the presen...

Operjay · Operjay

Hi everyone, and thanks for your advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months and she was very open with me about struggles with alcohol, having gone to AA, asking if I might be interested in joining her at some point, mentioning that this group might be beneficial for me to understand mor...

hotrod · hotrod

How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62207004/alano...

Dlove · Dlove

Since I am still so new to the program I am still a little shaky on setting boundaries so that me and my kids can have some sort of normalcy in this crazy life we are now living. My AH doesn't feel he has to tell me anything about what he's doing or where he's going. When before we told each other everything....

runi · runi

i'm new here. how long does someone stay with an alcoholic? what boundaries are realistic under our roof?

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death & I need to write out some of this clotted brain matter. So, my father was an A, and he started drinking when he was really young. After joining a church that required abstinence, he became dry for a while, obv without ever dealing with his stuff. In the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much to say cause things have been great. All things are working together for the good.Good things happen when I help others. Simple as that!

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.The author noted:· We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwa...

roxy · roxy

My husband is an alcoholic. For years I dealt with emotional abuse from his drinking. And I was an enabler because I constantly supported him financially because I knew he would have ended up dead and I couldn't let that happen. I was the only one there for him when things got bad and when I finally ran out...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, This topic sounds like the title of a LIfetime Movie haha... I'm still here - reading, contributing when I can and trying to 'listen and learn'. I havent' been able to get to a live meeting in 3 weeks now, and I'm feeling it. Everything is done with my ex boyfriend. I sent him a one line, do...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, I have been enmeshed in the insanity of my exBF emailing me all week, challenging me, wanting to 'discuss' this and that. I tried a 'no response' tactic to his initial email a week ago, but that prompted him to check up on me on Facebook and discover that I am doing quite well, looking healthy and...

gen4 · gen4

My husband is a dry drunk that uses anger as a way to stimulate himself (I'm guessing). I know it's some kind of rageaholic thing b/c I've seen him go into a rage about a typo in the newspaper by a columnist that he otherwise loves. He'll choose ANYTHING to rage about...whatever is handy, even if someti...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the damage gossip can do- on others and ourselves. Staying away from gossip keeps us away from business that is not ours and keeps us closer to our focus on ourselves and our recovery. The writer has set a boundary not to speak about someone if the person...

joker · joker

I have been attending face to face meetings and it has been helping me a lot. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. The alcoholic BF has been abusive beyond belief toward me. He is drinking beyond belief, daily- 4 cases of beer and coolers a day and his anger has been out of control. I have been trying to...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Sitting up late stewing as AH said he would be home in 15 minutes about 3 hours ago. Still not home and so disappointing as he had been doing pretty good for the last few weeks. a few here and there but no binges. I know I can't control him or cure him him but want to scream at him when he gets home. Does detachin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "ju...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I have been asking for MONTHS now for my daughter to get EAP appointments for her anxiety. My X carries the insurance and he should since that's all he does. Well that SOB X of mine is an idiot .. LOL and SMH. My daughter has refused to talk to him about the appointments and push came to shove and there wa...

NLiteNme · NLiteNme

After 12 yrs of accepting, enabling and tolerating my husband's addiction, I have finally removed him from my life... We have 2 kids so I'm trying to figure out the coparenting aspect. He's moved on to other women. I spent many nights praying for this, as I felt this was my only way to escape the "prison....

onceuponatime · onceuponatime

Once I realized that I could not help my AS, I have been obsessed with helping myself. I know in my heart that I am powerless over my sons addiction and my life has become unmanageable. I am praying and talking to my HP multiple times daily and listening for any messages my HP puts in front of me. Trying t...

pixie · pixie

My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I...

deedeedianah · deedeedianah

We were doing a group inventory when a not SO new member admitted she gossips outside of meetings. We were shocked. No one really said anything in the meeting to her. Later I discussed with her and she saw nothing wrong with it "because everyone does it"! Went over anonymity, confidentiality, etc b...

lookingup · lookingup

Ok,now Ive always thought there were only one way to judge a person ?? I'm just found out from this certain person that they know how to judge a person but that they judge character that they are good at judging a persons character so that being said I feel like this person has already judged me and dislike...

lookingup · lookingup

I've gotten to where since its summer time now that I leave my home on Fridays and don't come home till Monday ,and here lately been staying gone a lot through the week ,I'm been getting out with my good freinds and we go to the beach or out to eat or what ever we want to do ,we just have fun,my freind is a life lo...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's C2C speaks about how difficult it is to face up to our own imperfections, and how, when we have done wrong, it is so much easier to pretend it never happened or to justify the action. But the price we pay for avoiding our own mistakes is guilt.The reading suggests that the 10th step- continuing to...

Dlove · Dlove

Thank you everyone for being so open and sharing your stories with me when I made my first post a few days ago. It got me through until I was able to get to a meeting. All of you who told me to get to a meeting were right. I have a lot of learning to do but I am so grateful!

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi, Anyone attending the meeting at St.Margaret Mary Parish Church in Lomita, CA? I am visiting my brother here in USA. I am from the Philippines and we have no f2f meetings in my country, at least near my place. I'm very glad to find one 10 minutes walk away from my brother's place. It's a closed mee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I struggle lately with this child of mine. We seem to have hit a bit of an awkward patch. When we lived in chaos with my partner, it was daughter and I against the world and even then I knew that I let his awful behavior cover over some of my own less than stellar moments. Then when we moved out together, afte...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

That I never appreciate until about 3 - 4 days later .. AFTER everything is resolved .. LOL. So last night I took my baby girl to a concert and on the way up there was a very serious conversation. I am so blessed to spend time with my girl on that level and the fact she feels she can share with me what she does i...

Dlove · Dlove

I have attended my first Al-anon meeting, I have been reading non stop all the materials given to me, anything I can find on the Internet and reading my bible. So far, it has helped immensely. I feel not so overwhelmed, depressed, lonely, etc. However, tonight I am struggling. One of me and my AH's bigge...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 22nd speaks about our fears of looking at ourselves too deeply. It goes on to say that we are afraid to see ourselves as we really are because we view ourselves as hopelessly flawed and unworthy. I know I felt this way When I first entered Al-Anon and tried to work the steps, I thou...

Newandneedhelp · Newandneedhelp

3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of todays Hope for Today page asks us to give thought to our expectations of Serenity and the AlAnon program. Specifically, towards what the program can do for us, and of equal importance, what it does not. According to the author:AlAnon Does Not · * Provide a magical escape from our...

Ladylissa · Ladylissa

My father did fall off the wagon but supposly he stopped drinking. I haven't been able to bring myself to a meeting. Before I got to talk to him my husband is still angry at my father. Which I can understand. He is still want to pursue a PFA on my father. I think he is upset that I won't do one. What my father did...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I was in a panic/fear mode the last few days wondering if my AH was dead. I checked on him last night and fed the dogs and gave them water. He was in a drunken stupor, he ended up calling 911 and going to the hospital with a BAC of .24! The hospital called me, since he is still on my insurance. We are not divorced...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 21st speaks about the Seventh Step where we Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. The reading .points out that" humbly" simply means that we calmly ask HP, and that we don't demand and we don't make numerous requests. We simply accept our place in our relationship to ...

El · El

So, I have been working very hard to watch what I say, how I say it, and to just ignore comments or negativity that come my way from my AH. A couple of times I have defended myself by calming stating that a comment of his was hurtful or unnecessary. My AH has responded very positively to my new attitude an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Hugs, I really just wanted to stop and say it really does get better in the least expected ways .. I have made beautiful friends, found a part of who I am, all of who I am? Not so much .. LOL .. I'm working on that part of the deal. I haven't been attending meetings and I should find a book study at least and I al...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

AH is getting used to my recovery-minded ways. I realized he comes to me asking permission for things. In the past I judged him and got angry when he made choices for himself - even little things like choosing to buy new clothes, or taking a nap instead of going for a walk with me. I'm learning to let it go, l...

Ezbreeze62 · Ezbreeze62

This feeling of wanting to run to my son and 'fix' it is so overwhelming! I'm in a different state and I've just found out that he's probably using again. I feel so helpless and I understand that I AM helpless...I just don't know how to deal with this overwhelming PAIN and FRUSTRATION!!! I've been prayin...

Sundae · Sundae

My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years, we have no kids, but we have lived together since almost the beginning. We both drink, but the past couple of years his drinking has increased whereas mine has decreased. He gets emotional and frustrated about politics and people in his life, he

Teddybear1 · Teddybear1

Hi, just neede a bit of support. I've been married for 21 years, together for 28. My husband is what I understand to be a functioning alcoholic - company director, big salary, popular nice guy. Lovely home, two grown up kids. We both drank socially for a number of years when we met but in later years di...

Shawnie · Shawnie

I am brand new here and absorbing information like a sponge this morning. April 24 - I "came out of the closet" you could say. My AH of 23 years crossed the line on drinking -I have had it. I told him that I was done - I am so angry, tired, fed up, hurt, broken due to this disease and everything else on my plat...

Newandneedhelp · Newandneedhelp

3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

It's been a really tough week for me. It's been dark, grey, rainy and dismal, and that is parallel with my emotions this week. There has been a huge awakening for me the past few days. I've realized that, not only was I enabling my AH for many, many years, but I was doing the same with my children. My 23 year o...

el-cee · el-cee

My relationship with my ex ah was an intense, codependant nightmare. No doubt. It was also exciting in some respects, I never knew waht was coming and of course I got addicted to the drama buzz, the excited misery. Now I have this nice normal kind of relationship going on for about a year now and for some r...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	First time poster--looking for some advice when spouse says I'm not supportive (Preview) Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...	cm2772	7	505	May 30, 2016 by xeno59
	Love of the Program (Preview) As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...	unbroken13	7	619	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	This would have upset me, before. (Preview) Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...	missmeliss	3	587	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	ESH on "the wisdom to know the difference"? (Preview) Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I can change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...	oceanpine	9	987	May 30, 2016 by oceanpine
	Courage to Change 30/5 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the concept of being gentle with ourselves, and how very foreign and strange that seems after living with alcoholism and hating ourselves for our shortcomings. The writer says they first managed this by imagining a kitten and the gentle and caring feelings a kitten would evoke...	missmeliss	4	549	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Mr Hyde Costume in the Trunk. (Preview) Such a strange, new but not new place that my partner and I are at. He is working, comes to visit with the nicest of intentions, says he is so very sorry for the horrors that occurred in the past and, they will never happen again. The goal, according to him, is to work towards living together again. Which w...	missmeliss	12	3257	May 30, 2016 by vorpal
	Gave ultimatum today - 90 in 90 (Preview) My husband had been working his program and doing better, but it's been going the other way for a while, and has become unmanageable. After having consulted with addiction professionals, today I told him he cannot return to live in our home until he has completed 90 documented meetings in 90 days. He t...	Crochet mama	4	673	May 30, 2016 by pinkchip
	Relationships/Dating (Preview) So I've finally decided I'm ready to date which has been a major learning curve however all part of my recovery for which I'm very grateful for, I seriously have learned a lot about myself and I know what I want in a relationship. I sure know what I don't!!! It's one of those things that has been very inter...	SerenityRUS	3	643	May 30, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Feeling lost and alone (Preview) Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.	cbehr	10	907	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Just want to introduce myself (Preview) I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship. I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning. I've b...	NteacherJ	4	555	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Why am I so positive? (Preview) I will tell you why! God is blessing me & working in my life today. I am not the center of the universe. I know who holds the future & he is already there. I don't know what is to come but it looks bright in my little world. The world may be messy but I don't have to engage! That's the whole story. I am...	Hoot Nanny	4	476	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change Reading 5-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 28th, speaks about the habit of "comparing" which often leads to finding "ourselves lacking" and therefore to despairing. The reading goes on to say the only valid comparison we should make is to compare ourselves from yesterday to who we are today. We look at how w...	hotrod	5	3199	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Site message (Preview) If you encountered the message:"The site has stepped out", when you attempted to log on, I am glad you found an alternate sign on route as John has been notified and it should be corrected soon.	hotrod	8	549	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	ODAT 5-27 ~ Seeing Beyond What Seems to Be (Preview) Yesterdays Courage to Change reminded us that We dont see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Furthering that line of thought, the author of todays ODAT reading states that with the help of our higher power, we can see beyond what seems to be.We do this by lifting ourselves from the fog of our pro...	Enigmatic	4	737	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Which Al Anon book should I read as a newbie? (Preview) Hi all! I just started attending Al Anon meeting a few weeks ago and I've been reading "Hope for Today". I find it very helpful and insightful, even calming, but I need something to read to help me get started in the program. I don't have a sponsor yet so I'm hoping to get some tips for a good first book to rea...	HITM	4	4935	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 5-29-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 29th speaks about the two huge stumbling blocks of fear and worry. The reading points out that these painful feelings can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality. Many focuses on the future and this causes unrealistic worry.If we can learn to stay in the presen...	hotrod	4	1323	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do I allow a recovering alcoholic to have a drink in front of me? (Preview) Hi everyone, and thanks for your advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months and she was very open with me about struggles with alcohol, having gone to AA, asking if I might be interested in joining her at some point, mentioning that this group might be beneficial for me to understand mor...	Operjay	29	1121	May 29, 2016 by Rinn
	Step 10 posted (Preview) How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62207004/alano...	hotrod	0	392	May 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Setting boundaries (Preview) Since I am still so new to the program I am still a little shaky on setting boundaries so that me and my kids can have some sort of normalcy in this crazy life we are now living. My AH doesn't feel he has to tell me anything about what he's doing or where he's going. When before we told each other everything....	Dlove	9	700	May 27, 2016 by lookingup
	boundaries, how long stay with alcoholic (Preview) i'm new here. how long does someone stay with an alcoholic? what boundaries are realistic under our roof?	runi	3	554	May 27, 2016 by runi
	dad's suicide and family complications (Preview) Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death & I need to write out some of this clotted brain matter. So, my father was an A, and he started drinking when he was really young. After joining a church that required abstinence, he became dry for a while, obv without ever dealing with his stuff. In the...	cloverleaf	1	522	May 27, 2016 by missmeliss
	Miss being on here but... (Preview) Not much to say cause things have been great. All things are working together for the good.Good things happen when I help others. Simple as that!	Hoot Nanny	2	437	May 26, 2016 by milkwood
	C2C 5-26 How Flexibility Helps in Recovery (Preview) Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.The author noted:· We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwa...	Enigmatic	3	470	May 26, 2016 by Enigmatic
	so confused (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. For years I dealt with emotional abuse from his drinking. And I was an enabler because I constantly supported him financially because I knew he would have ended up dead and I couldn't let that happen. I was the only one there for him when things got bad and when I finally ran out...	roxy	6	667	May 26, 2016 by Mattie
	An Unmanageable Life (Preview) Hi everyone, This topic sounds like the title of a LIfetime Movie haha... I'm still here - reading, contributing when I can and trying to 'listen and learn'. I havent' been able to get to a live meeting in 3 weeks now, and I'm feeling it. Everything is done with my ex boyfriend. I sent him a one line, do...	CyndiODAT	1	577	May 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	How to NOT pick up the rope (Preview) Hi all, I have been enmeshed in the insanity of my exBF emailing me all week, challenging me, wanting to 'discuss' this and that. I tried a 'no response' tactic to his initial email a week ago, but that prompted him to check up on me on Facebook and discover that I am doing quite well, looking healthy and...	CyndiODAT	3	1194	May 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why can't i figure out what to do or say during one of my husband's dry drunk rages/rants dry drunk rageaholic assertiveness effective communication maturity alanon codependency rage (Preview) My husband is a dry drunk that uses anger as a way to stimulate himself (I'm guessing). I know it's some kind of rageaholic thing b/c I've seen him go into a rage about a typo in the newspaper by a columnist that he otherwise loves. He'll choose ANYTHING to rage about...whatever is handy, even if someti...	gen4	6	8730	May 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Hope for today may 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the damage gossip can do- on others and ourselves. Staying away from gossip keeps us away from business that is not ours and keeps us closer to our focus on ourselves and our recovery. The writer has set a boundary not to speak about someone if the person...	yanksfan51	5	611	May 25, 2016 by Nix
	Fear (Preview) I have been attending face to face meetings and it has been helping me a lot. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. The alcoholic BF has been abusive beyond belief toward me. He is drinking beyond belief, daily- 4 cases of beer and coolers a day and his anger has been out of control. I have been trying to...	joker	8	622	May 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Can't compete with the bottle (Preview) Sitting up late stewing as AH said he would be home in 15 minutes about 3 hours ago. Still not home and so disappointing as he had been doing pretty good for the last few weeks. a few here and there but no binges. I know I can't control him or cure him him but want to scream at him when he gets home. Does detachin...	Jennyp	3	689	May 25, 2016 by sweetness34
	Courage To Change 25/5 (Preview) Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "ju...	missmeliss	2	472	May 25, 2016 by sweetness34
	Irritating (Preview) So I have been asking for MONTHS now for my daughter to get EAP appointments for her anxiety. My X carries the insurance and he should since that's all he does. Well that SOB X of mine is an idiot .. LOL and SMH. My daughter has refused to talk to him about the appointments and push came to shove and there wa...	SerenityRUS	6	556	May 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Finding myself again is harder than I thought... (Preview) After 12 yrs of accepting, enabling and tolerating my husband's addiction, I have finally removed him from my life... We have 2 kids so I'm trying to figure out the coparenting aspect. He's moved on to other women. I spent many nights praying for this, as I felt this was my only way to escape the "prison....	NLiteNme	25	3936	May 24, 2016 by NLiteNme
	Obsessed...... (Preview) Once I realized that I could not help my AS, I have been obsessed with helping myself. I know in my heart that I am powerless over my sons addiction and my life has become unmanageable. I am praying and talking to my HP multiple times daily and listening for any messages my HP puts in front of me. Trying t...	onceuponatime	4	618	May 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	a man and his dog (Preview) My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I...	pixie	7	652	May 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	Gossip (Preview) We were doing a group inventory when a not SO new member admitted she gossips outside of meetings. We were shocked. No one really said anything in the meeting to her. Later I discussed with her and she saw nothing wrong with it "because everyone does it"! Went over anonymity, confidentiality, etc b...	deedeedianah	3	967	May 23, 2016 by pinkchip
	Judging a person (Preview) Ok,now Ive always thought there were only one way to judge a person ?? I'm just found out from this certain person that they know how to judge a person but that they judge character that they are good at judging a persons character so that being said I feel like this person has already judged me and dislike...	lookingup	7	1454	May 23, 2016 by lookingup
	Happy to be home (Preview) I've gotten to where since its summer time now that I leave my home on Fridays and don't come home till Monday ,and here lately been staying gone a lot through the week ,I'm been getting out with my good freinds and we go to the beach or out to eat or what ever we want to do ,we just have fun,my freind is a life lo...	lookingup	3	439	May 23, 2016 by lookingup
	C2C Reading 5-23-2016 (Posting for Ms.M.) (Preview) Today's C2C speaks about how difficult it is to face up to our own imperfections, and how, when we have done wrong, it is so much easier to pretend it never happened or to justify the action. But the price we pay for avoiding our own mistakes is guilt.The reading suggests that the 10th step- continuing to...	hotrod	2	459	May 23, 2016 by sweetness34
	My first Al-anon meeting was AMAZING! (Preview) Thank you everyone for being so open and sharing your stories with me when I made my first post a few days ago. It got me through until I was able to get to a meeting. All of you who told me to get to a meeting were right. I have a lot of learning to do but I am so grateful!	Dlove	5	554	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	st. margaret mary church meeting, can i attend here? (Preview) Hi, Anyone attending the meeting at St.Margaret Mary Parish Church in Lomita, CA? I am visiting my brother here in USA. I am from the Philippines and we have no f2f meetings in my country, at least near my place. I'm very glad to find one 10 minutes walk away from my brother's place. It's a closed mee...	jocelgp	1	2088	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Moany parenty stuff. (Preview) I struggle lately with this child of mine. We seem to have hit a bit of an awkward patch. When we lived in chaos with my partner, it was daughter and I against the world and even then I knew that I let his awful behavior cover over some of my own less than stellar moments. Then when we moved out together, afte...	missmeliss	6	599	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	The God of my understand's wicked sense of humor .. (Preview) That I never appreciate until about 3 - 4 days later .. AFTER everything is resolved .. LOL. So last night I took my baby girl to a concert and on the way up there was a very serious conversation. I am so blessed to spend time with my girl on that level and the fact she feels she can share with me what she does i...	SerenityRUS	4	509	May 23, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I am anxious and sad (Preview) I have attended my first Al-anon meeting, I have been reading non stop all the materials given to me, anything I can find on the Internet and reading my bible. So far, it has helped immensely. I feel not so overwhelmed, depressed, lonely, etc. However, tonight I am struggling. One of me and my AH's bigge...	Dlove	2	410	May 23, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 5-22-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 22nd speaks about our fears of looking at ourselves too deeply. It goes on to say that we are afraid to see ourselves as we really are because we view ourselves as hopelessly flawed and unworthy. I know I felt this way When I first entered Al-Anon and tried to work the steps, I thou...	hotrod	5	480	May 22, 2016 by hotrod
	Hopeless (Preview) 3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...	Newandneedhelp	6	561	May 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today 5-20 ~ What Alanon Does, and Does Not Do for Us (Preview) The author of todays Hope for Today page asks us to give thought to our expectations of Serenity and the AlAnon program. Specifically, towards what the program can do for us, and of equal importance, what it does not. According to the author:AlAnon Does Not · * Provide a magical escape from our...	Enigmatic	9	630	May 22, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Update sort of (Preview) My father did fall off the wagon but supposly he stopped drinking. I haven't been able to bring myself to a meeting. Before I got to talk to him my husband is still angry at my father. Which I can understand. He is still want to pursue a PFA on my father. I think he is upset that I won't do one. What my father did...	Ladylissa	1	367	May 22, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling dumb for caring! (Preview) I was in a panic/fear mode the last few days wondering if my AH was dead. I checked on him last night and fed the dogs and gave them water. He was in a drunken stupor, he ended up calling 911 and going to the hospital with a BAC of .24! The hospital called me, since he is still on my insurance. We are not divorced...	Newlife girl	6	605	May 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading 5-21-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 21st speaks about the Seventh Step where we *Humbly ask* Him to remove our shortcomings. The reading .points out that" humbly" simply means that we calmly ask HP, and that we don't demand and we don't make numerous requests. We simply accept our place in our relationship to ...	hotrod	3	724	May 21, 2016 by Rinn
	Sensitivity (Preview) So, I have been working very hard to watch what I say, how I say it, and to just ignore comments or negativity that come my way from my AH. A couple of times I have defended myself by calming stating that a comment of his was hurtful or unnecessary. My AH has responded very positively to my new attitude an...	El	19	753	May 21, 2016 by El
	My crazy journey (Preview) Hugs, I really just wanted to stop and say it really does get better in the least expected ways .. I have made beautiful friends, found a part of who I am, all of who I am? Not so much .. LOL .. I'm working on that part of the deal. I haven't been attending meetings and I should find a book study at least and I al...	SerenityRUS	1	435	May 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	My side of the street (Preview) AH is getting used to my recovery-minded ways. I realized he comes to me asking permission for things. In the past I judged him and got angry when he made choices for himself - even little things like choosing to buy new clothes, or taking a nap instead of going for a walk with me. I'm learning to let it go, l...	Taraxacum	4	543	May 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	I just cant. (Preview) This feeling of wanting to run to my son and 'fix' it is so overwhelming! I'm in a different state and I've just found out that he's probably using again. I feel so helpless and I understand that I AM helpless...I just don't know how to deal with this overwhelming PAIN and FRUSTRATION!!! I've been prayin...	Ezbreeze62	9	605	May 21, 2016 by Ezbreeze62
	I just confronted my long term boyfriend about his drinking (Preview) My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years, we have no kids, but we have lived together since almost the beginning. We both drink, but the past couple of years his drinking has increased whereas mine has decreased. He gets emotional and frustrated about politics and people in his life, he	Sundae	1	453	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Help with functioning alcoholic (Preview) Hi, just neede a bit of support. I've been married for 21 years, together for 28. My husband is what I understand to be a functioning alcoholic - company director, big salary, popular nice guy. Lovely home, two grown up kids. We both drank socially for a number of years when we met but in later years di...	Teddybear1	4	2142	May 20, 2016 by Shawnie
	Have I waited too long boundaries anger repeatng the cycle new (Preview) I am brand new here and absorbing information like a sponge this morning. April 24 - I "came out of the closet" you could say. My AH of 23 years crossed the line on drinking -I have had it. I told him that I was done - I am so angry, tired, fed up, hurt, broken due to this disease and everything else on my plat...	Shawnie	9	8898	May 20, 2016 by Shawnie
	Hopeless (Preview) 3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...	Newandneedhelp	1	466	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	The sun is shining (Preview) It's been a really tough week for me. It's been dark, grey, rainy and dismal, and that is parallel with my emotions this week. There has been a huge awakening for me the past few days. I've realized that, not only was I enabling my AH for many, many years, but I was doing the same with my children. My 23 year o...	sweetness34	5	531	May 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Healthy annoys me (Preview) My relationship with my ex ah was an intense, codependant nightmare. No doubt. It was also exciting in some respects, I never knew waht was coming and of course I got addicted to the drama buzz, the excited misery. Now I have this nice normal kind of relationship going on for about a year now and for some r...	el-cee	17	719	May 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.