Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...

Ddw7415 · Ddw7415

I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and rea...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

Good morning MIP Family, My hope is that all of you are doing well. I haven't been here for a few days, and wanted to check in. First, I want to say thank you to any of you who might have lost a loved one as they served our country. A young man I used to babysit, who grew up in my neighborhood, was kidded in Afghan...

sweeetr · sweeetr

for those that dont know me .. a brief catch up. I adopted a neglected precious 22 month old child that is now 11 years old. Detaching, even with love. I cant seem to do, I feel I am still raising/parenting him. I let him face consequences for his actions. The loss this child has faced ....... He lost his bi...

Overcome · Overcome

I'm wondering where the Al-anon chat/meeting room has gone, and the home page. Does anyone know? This is the only page I can access. I have had several members from the chat room message me to ask.

Iamhere · Iamhere

On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in...

runi · runi

like i said, i am new here. my first qualifier was my father. seems to me the people I've observed in al-anon seem to work much harder to get healthy and live with the alcoholic than the alcoholic does in AA. when is enough enough.??

Nix · Nix

Hello! I became aware of Al-Anon back in 2013. I was going through a devastating separation from my partner of nearly 11 years, and the resulting fallout led me to crawl on hands and knees to several different 12 step groups focusing on dysfunction in relationships. This fellowship and others like it...

RKTreats · RKTreats

This evening, after several weeks of peace, my greatest fear was realized....or at least has reared it's ugly head in my mind again. My Abf who is seven weeks into his recovery and has told me he is interested in no one else, received a phone call from one of the women he found on a dating site several month...

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Face to face meetings are nearly impossible for me to get to right now & I'm in the thick of some things I need to write out. May is hard for me, in general. Where I live, we have race for the cure (komen breast cancer walk) the weekend of mother's day, then mother's day (my mom died a few years ago of breas...

RKTreats · RKTreats

Today is my one-week anniversary (counting every milestone right now) of attending my first Al-Anon meeting. I attended three meetings last week and am preparing to go into my fourth meeting tonight. I'm still struggling with how to know when any progress is being made. I know I want a resolution now...

Rinn · Rinn

I am a nursing student. I had this crazy idea that I could do something noble and use my experience gained married to an addict, to help patients with addiction issues. So after working med/surg and seeing the enormous amount of patients that come in with meth addictions. I finally had one. I can sa...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I attended an Alanon meeting this week where the topic was the Alanon Concepts. The Concepts are not often a suggested topic and I was so grateful someone rather new to the program chose to explore the meaning of each of the Concepts and share what they'd learned with the rest of us. It was a gift to recei...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Well I finally did it and went back to a ftf meeting! I actually enjoyed the experience very much and felt as if I was in the right place...finally! It has been a long and arduous process to get back to the rooms and I am very glad I made the effort. I sincerely hope to continue meetings and to learn from my f...

WhoDat4Life · WhoDat4Life

Long story short: my Mom is an alcoholic and pain pill addict who will not stay sober. She has her moments where she does well, but for the most part the longest she can go is about 2 weeks without a relapse. She has been through 2 VERY expensive rehab stints funded by my Dad to no avail. When she came home th...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Choppy waters, a bit of unsteadyness but Had a dream 3 day cruise with boyfriend !!!! won on slots,yummy food,very romantic etc Feel grateful,blessed and special. Have 3-4 job interviews this week lined up. Hope all of you are blessed with good things coming into your lives A :]

cm2772 · cm2772

Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...

oceanpine · oceanpine

Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I *can* change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of the concept of being gentle with ourselves, and how very foreign and strange that seems after living with alcoholism and hating ourselves for our shortcomings. The writer says they first managed this by imagining a kitten and the gentle and caring feelings a kitten would evoke...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Such a strange, new but not new place that my partner and I are at. He is working, comes to visit with the nicest of intentions, says he is so very sorry for the horrors that occurred in the past and, they will never happen again. The goal, according to him, is to work towards living together again. Which w...

Crochet mama · Crochet mama

My husband had been working his program and doing better, but it's been going the other way for a while, and has become unmanageable. After having consulted with addiction professionals, today I told him he cannot return to live in our home until he has completed 90 documented meetings in 90 days. He t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I've finally decided I'm ready to date which has been a major learning curve however all part of my recovery for which I'm very grateful for, I seriously have learned a lot about myself and I know what I want in a relationship. I sure know what I don't!!! It's one of those things that has been very inter...

cbehr · cbehr

Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.

NteacherJ · NteacherJ

I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship. I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning. I've b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will tell you why! God is blessing me & working in my life today. I am not the center of the universe. I know who holds the future & he is already there. I don't know what is to come but it looks bright in my little world. The world may be messy but I don't have to engage! That's the whole story. I am...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 28th, speaks about the habit of "comparing" which often leads to finding "ourselves lacking" and therefore to despairing. The reading goes on to say the only valid comparison we should make is to compare ourselves from yesterday to who we are today. We look at how w...

hotrod · hotrod

If you encountered the message:"The site has stepped out", when you attempted to log on, I am glad you found an alternate sign on route as John has been notified and it should be corrected soon.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Yesterdays Courage to Change reminded us that We dont see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Furthering that line of thought, the author of todays ODAT reading states that with the help of our higher power, we can see beyond what seems to be.We do this by lifting ourselves from the fog of our pro...

HITM · HITM

Hi all! I just started attending Al Anon meeting a few weeks ago and I've been reading "Hope for Today". I find it very helpful and insightful, even calming, but I need something to read to help me get started in the program. I don't have a sponsor yet so I'm hoping to get some tips for a good first book to rea...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 29th speaks about the two huge stumbling blocks of fear and worry. The reading points out that these painful feelings can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality. Many focuses on the future and this causes unrealistic worry.If we can learn to stay in the presen...

Operjay · Operjay

Hi everyone, and thanks for your advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months and she was very open with me about struggles with alcohol, having gone to AA, asking if I might be interested in joining her at some point, mentioning that this group might be beneficial for me to understand mor...

hotrod · hotrod

How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62207004/alano...

Dlove · Dlove

Since I am still so new to the program I am still a little shaky on setting boundaries so that me and my kids can have some sort of normalcy in this crazy life we are now living. My AH doesn't feel he has to tell me anything about what he's doing or where he's going. When before we told each other everything....

runi · runi

i'm new here. how long does someone stay with an alcoholic? what boundaries are realistic under our roof?

cloverleaf · cloverleaf

Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death & I need to write out some of this clotted brain matter. So, my father was an A, and he started drinking when he was really young. After joining a church that required abstinence, he became dry for a while, obv without ever dealing with his stuff. In the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Not much to say cause things have been great. All things are working together for the good.Good things happen when I help others. Simple as that!

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.The author noted:· We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwa...

roxy · roxy

My husband is an alcoholic. For years I dealt with emotional abuse from his drinking. And I was an enabler because I constantly supported him financially because I knew he would have ended up dead and I couldn't let that happen. I was the only one there for him when things got bad and when I finally ran out...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, This topic sounds like the title of a LIfetime Movie haha... I'm still here - reading, contributing when I can and trying to 'listen and learn'. I havent' been able to get to a live meeting in 3 weeks now, and I'm feeling it. Everything is done with my ex boyfriend. I sent him a one line, do...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi all, I have been enmeshed in the insanity of my exBF emailing me all week, challenging me, wanting to 'discuss' this and that. I tried a 'no response' tactic to his initial email a week ago, but that prompted him to check up on me on Facebook and discover that I am doing quite well, looking healthy and...

gen4 · gen4

My husband is a dry drunk that uses anger as a way to stimulate himself (I'm guessing). I know it's some kind of rageaholic thing b/c I've seen him go into a rage about a typo in the newspaper by a columnist that he otherwise loves. He'll choose ANYTHING to rage about...whatever is handy, even if someti...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the damage gossip can do- on others and ourselves. Staying away from gossip keeps us away from business that is not ours and keeps us closer to our focus on ourselves and our recovery. The writer has set a boundary not to speak about someone if the person...

joker · joker

I have been attending face to face meetings and it has been helping me a lot. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. The alcoholic BF has been abusive beyond belief toward me. He is drinking beyond belief, daily- 4 cases of beer and coolers a day and his anger has been out of control. I have been trying to...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Sitting up late stewing as AH said he would be home in 15 minutes about 3 hours ago. Still not home and so disappointing as he had been doing pretty good for the last few weeks. a few here and there but no binges. I know I can't control him or cure him him but want to scream at him when he gets home. Does detachin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "ju...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I have been asking for MONTHS now for my daughter to get EAP appointments for her anxiety. My X carries the insurance and he should since that's all he does. Well that SOB X of mine is an idiot .. LOL and SMH. My daughter has refused to talk to him about the appointments and push came to shove and there wa...

NLiteNme · NLiteNme

After 12 yrs of accepting, enabling and tolerating my husband's addiction, I have finally removed him from my life... We have 2 kids so I'm trying to figure out the coparenting aspect. He's moved on to other women. I spent many nights praying for this, as I felt this was my only way to escape the "prison....

onceuponatime · onceuponatime

Once I realized that I could not help my AS, I have been obsessed with helping myself. I know in my heart that I am powerless over my sons addiction and my life has become unmanageable. I am praying and talking to my HP multiple times daily and listening for any messages my HP puts in front of me. Trying t...

pixie · pixie

My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I...

deedeedianah · deedeedianah

We were doing a group inventory when a not SO new member admitted she gossips outside of meetings. We were shocked. No one really said anything in the meeting to her. Later I discussed with her and she saw nothing wrong with it "because everyone does it"! Went over anonymity, confidentiality, etc b...

lookingup · lookingup

Ok,now Ive always thought there were only one way to judge a person ?? I'm just found out from this certain person that they know how to judge a person but that they judge character that they are good at judging a persons character so that being said I feel like this person has already judged me and dislike...

lookingup · lookingup

I've gotten to where since its summer time now that I leave my home on Fridays and don't come home till Monday ,and here lately been staying gone a lot through the week ,I'm been getting out with my good freinds and we go to the beach or out to eat or what ever we want to do ,we just have fun,my freind is a life lo...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's C2C speaks about how difficult it is to face up to our own imperfections, and how, when we have done wrong, it is so much easier to pretend it never happened or to justify the action. But the price we pay for avoiding our own mistakes is guilt.The reading suggests that the 10th step- continuing to...

Dlove · Dlove

Thank you everyone for being so open and sharing your stories with me when I made my first post a few days ago. It got me through until I was able to get to a meeting. All of you who told me to get to a meeting were right. I have a lot of learning to do but I am so grateful!

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi, Anyone attending the meeting at St.Margaret Mary Parish Church in Lomita, CA? I am visiting my brother here in USA. I am from the Philippines and we have no f2f meetings in my country, at least near my place. I'm very glad to find one 10 minutes walk away from my brother's place. It's a closed mee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I struggle lately with this child of mine. We seem to have hit a bit of an awkward patch. When we lived in chaos with my partner, it was daughter and I against the world and even then I knew that I let his awful behavior cover over some of my own less than stellar moments. Then when we moved out together, afte...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

That I never appreciate until about 3 - 4 days later .. AFTER everything is resolved .. LOL. So last night I took my baby girl to a concert and on the way up there was a very serious conversation. I am so blessed to spend time with my girl on that level and the fact she feels she can share with me what she does i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 1/6 (Preview) Todays c2c discusses the very wise notion that "an expectation is a premeditated resentment". It goes on to say that when resentment is felt, we can look to our own expectations as a likely source. The reading reminds us that we have the right to define our own standards but that we do not have the right t...	missmeliss	4	591	Jun 1, 2016 by sweetness34
	New to forum...married to an emotionally abusive dry drunk and need advice (Preview) I'm 65 years old and have been married for 25 years to my ah. He always drank, but it got worse with time and around 3 years ago his drunken rage caused me to leave the house and go to a hotel. The next day I told him to get sober or get out so he started meetings and got sober. At first life seemed to improv...	Ddw7415	11	1076	May 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Hope for Today May 31 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step 4, taking a personal inventory and how initially for many of us this is equated to searching out all of our 'wrongs'. For me looking at this step was daunting in the beginning because I was picturing all of my faults and imperfections lined up and rea...	yanksfan51	3	784	May 31, 2016 by Hoot Nanny
	So grateful (Preview) Good morning MIP Family, My hope is that all of you are doing well. I haven't been here for a few days, and wanted to check in. First, I want to say thank you to any of you who might have lost a loved one as they served our country. A young man I used to babysit, who grew up in my neighborhood, was kidded in Afghan...	sweetness34	3	561	May 31, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	My adopted son ... behaviour ... family full of addictions (graphic warning) (Preview) for those that dont know me .. a brief catch up. I adopted a neglected precious 22 month old child that is now 11 years old. Detaching, even with love. I cant seem to do, I feel I am still raising/parenting him. I let him face consequences for his actions. The loss this child has faced ....... He lost his bi...	sweeetr	5	723	May 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	Where has the MIP Main Page gone? (Preview) I'm wondering where the Al-anon chat/meeting room has gone, and the home page. Does anyone know? This is the only page I can access. I have had several members from the chat room message me to ask.	Overcome	4	798	May 31, 2016 by Jerry F
	Road Trip - Through the Month End....Call me Crazy or Call me Courageous? (Preview) On Sunday, my AH and I are departing on a 1,200 mile road trip to go to see my parents in AZ. This will be the first vacation we've taken together without children in 20 years. So, I am excited to go out and see my parents - they are 81 and who knows how much longer they will be around. My brother also lives in...	Iamhere	21	869	May 31, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	advise (Preview) like i said, i am new here. my first qualifier was my father. seems to me the people I've observed in al-anon seem to work much harder to get healthy and live with the alcoholic than the alcoholic does in AA. when is enough enough.??	runi	6	700	May 31, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Introducing Myself (Preview) Hello! I became aware of Al-Anon back in 2013. I was going through a devastating separation from my partner of nearly 11 years, and the resulting fallout led me to crawl on hands and knees to several different 12 step groups focusing on dysfunction in relationships. This fellowship and others like it...	Nix	6	777	May 31, 2016 by tiredtonite
	My greatest fear... (Preview) This evening, after several weeks of peace, my greatest fear was realized....or at least has reared it's ugly head in my mind again. My Abf who is seven weeks into his recovery and has told me he is interested in no one else, received a phone call from one of the women he found on a dating site several month...	RKTreats	2	621	May 30, 2016 by Mattie
	expectations vs ? (Preview) Face to face meetings are nearly impossible for me to get to right now & I'm in the thick of some things I need to write out. May is hard for me, in general. Where I live, we have race for the cure (komen breast cancer walk) the weekend of mother's day, then mother's day (my mom died a few years ago of breas...	cloverleaf	2	621	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Not sure where I go from here (Preview) Today is my one-week anniversary (counting every milestone right now) of attending my first Al-Anon meeting. I attended three meetings last week and am preparing to go into my fourth meeting tonight. I'm still struggling with how to know when any progress is being made. I know I want a resolution now...	RKTreats	8	973	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	thought I could use my experience with addict in role as a nurse WRING WRONG WRONG! (Preview) I am a nursing student. I had this crazy idea that I could do something noble and use my experience gained married to an addict, to help patients with addiction issues. So after working med/surg and seeing the enormous amount of patients that come in with meth addictions. I finally had one. I can sa...	Rinn	16	959	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Grateful for In Person Alanon Meetings (Preview) I attended an Alanon meeting this week where the topic was the Alanon Concepts. The Concepts are not often a suggested topic and I was so grateful someone rather new to the program chose to explore the meaning of each of the Concepts and share what they'd learned with the rest of us. It was a gift to recei...	tiredtonite	2	623	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Went back! (Preview) Well I finally did it and went back to a ftf meeting! I actually enjoyed the experience very much and felt as if I was in the right place...finally! It has been a long and arduous process to get back to the rooms and I am very glad I made the effort. I sincerely hope to continue meetings and to learn from my f...	Doingmybest	4	799	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Going Crazy (Preview) Long story short: my Mom is an alcoholic and pain pill addict who will not stay sober. She has her moments where she does well, but for the most part the longest she can go is about 2 weeks without a relapse. She has been through 2 VERY expensive rehab stints funded by my Dad to no avail. When she came home th...	WhoDat4Life	4	864	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	Back from AWESOME CRUISE (Preview) Choppy waters, a bit of unsteadyness but Had a dream 3 day cruise with boyfriend !!!! won on slots,yummy food,very romantic etc Feel grateful,blessed and special. Have 3-4 job interviews this week lined up. Hope all of you are blessed with good things coming into your lives A :]	YARNCRAZY	7	936	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	First time poster--looking for some advice when spouse says I'm not supportive (Preview) Hi all, new poster, looking for advice. Ive known that my husband is an alcoholic for years. Decades probably, and its gotten worse over the years. I have been more vocal and we have been fighting a lot more over the past 5+ years. Last year I told him that I was done (after he had promised me many times th...	cm2772	7	595	May 30, 2016 by xeno59
	Love of the Program (Preview) As I sit here at 2:30 in the morning with tears in my eyes listening to the last sounds and breaths of my mother in law and it is breaking my heart...but I realize how blessed I am to be here with her and helping her to move on. There is no other feeling like it in the world. A feeling of sadness, a feeling of joy,...	unbroken13	7	732	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	This would have upset me, before. (Preview) Over the weekend, my bf told me that he is going to try to get in touch with his kids. It's a complicated history, and, I felt I had some 'truths" to tell him (he gets it into his head to try to contact them every few years, then makes some crazy promises and then, no follow through). So, my "inner advisor" wan...	missmeliss	3	676	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	ESH on "the wisdom to know the difference"? (Preview) Can anyone offer ESH or insight into this part of the Serenity Prayer? What do I do, when I need to make a decision, and lack the wisdom to know the difference? Because a little voice is always whispering that I can change more than I think... especially if I act perfect, a martyr, in a way different tha...	oceanpine	9	1199	May 30, 2016 by oceanpine
	Courage to Change 30/5 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the concept of being gentle with ourselves, and how very foreign and strange that seems after living with alcoholism and hating ourselves for our shortcomings. The writer says they first managed this by imagining a kitten and the gentle and caring feelings a kitten would evoke...	missmeliss	4	659	May 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Mr Hyde Costume in the Trunk. (Preview) Such a strange, new but not new place that my partner and I are at. He is working, comes to visit with the nicest of intentions, says he is so very sorry for the horrors that occurred in the past and, they will never happen again. The goal, according to him, is to work towards living together again. Which w...	missmeliss	12	3572	May 30, 2016 by vorpal
	Gave ultimatum today - 90 in 90 (Preview) My husband had been working his program and doing better, but it's been going the other way for a while, and has become unmanageable. After having consulted with addiction professionals, today I told him he cannot return to live in our home until he has completed 90 documented meetings in 90 days. He t...	Crochet mama	4	771	May 30, 2016 by pinkchip
	Relationships/Dating (Preview) So I've finally decided I'm ready to date which has been a major learning curve however all part of my recovery for which I'm very grateful for, I seriously have learned a lot about myself and I know what I want in a relationship. I sure know what I don't!!! It's one of those things that has been very inter...	SerenityRUS	3	735	May 30, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Feeling lost and alone (Preview) Tired just so tired of living with an alcoholic, tired of watching him destroy himself a little more each day. Tired of loving and hurting and hating him all at the same time.	cbehr	10	1015	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Just want to introduce myself (Preview) I came to this forum because my girlfriend is an alcoholic and she recommended that al-anon could be beneficial for me to understand what she's going through and give me tools that could be beneficial for me and our relationship. I'm actually hoping to go to my first meeting tomorrow morning. I've b...	NteacherJ	4	660	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Why am I so positive? (Preview) I will tell you why! God is blessing me & working in my life today. I am not the center of the universe. I know who holds the future & he is already there. I don't know what is to come but it looks bright in my little world. The world may be messy but I don't have to engage! That's the whole story. I am...	Hoot Nanny	4	578	May 29, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change Reading 5-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 28th, speaks about the habit of "comparing" which often leads to finding "ourselves lacking" and therefore to despairing. The reading goes on to say the only valid comparison we should make is to compare ourselves from yesterday to who we are today. We look at how w...	hotrod	5	3513	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Site message (Preview) If you encountered the message:"The site has stepped out", when you attempted to log on, I am glad you found an alternate sign on route as John has been notified and it should be corrected soon.	hotrod	8	651	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	ODAT 5-27 ~ Seeing Beyond What Seems to Be (Preview) Yesterdays Courage to Change reminded us that We dont see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Furthering that line of thought, the author of todays ODAT reading states that with the help of our higher power, we can see beyond what seems to be.We do this by lifting ourselves from the fog of our pro...	Enigmatic	4	836	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Which Al Anon book should I read as a newbie? (Preview) Hi all! I just started attending Al Anon meeting a few weeks ago and I've been reading "Hope for Today". I find it very helpful and insightful, even calming, but I need something to read to help me get started in the program. I don't have a sponsor yet so I'm hoping to get some tips for a good first book to rea...	HITM	4	5569	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 5-29-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 29th speaks about the two huge stumbling blocks of fear and worry. The reading points out that these painful feelings can alter our perceptions until we lose all sense of reality. Many focuses on the future and this causes unrealistic worry.If we can learn to stay in the presen...	hotrod	4	1509	May 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	Do I allow a recovering alcoholic to have a drink in front of me? (Preview) Hi everyone, and thanks for your advice. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 2 months and she was very open with me about struggles with alcohol, having gone to AA, asking if I might be interested in joining her at some point, mentioning that this group might be beneficial for me to understand mor...	Operjay	29	1259	May 29, 2016 by Rinn
	Step 10 posted (Preview) How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step 10 has been posted to the Step Work Board. Here is the link: http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62207004/alano...	hotrod	0	498	May 29, 2016 by hotrod
	Setting boundaries (Preview) Since I am still so new to the program I am still a little shaky on setting boundaries so that me and my kids can have some sort of normalcy in this crazy life we are now living. My AH doesn't feel he has to tell me anything about what he's doing or where he's going. When before we told each other everything....	Dlove	9	834	May 27, 2016 by lookingup
	boundaries, how long stay with alcoholic (Preview) i'm new here. how long does someone stay with an alcoholic? what boundaries are realistic under our roof?	runi	3	659	May 27, 2016 by runi
	dad's suicide and family complications (Preview) Yesterday was the anniversary of my dad's death & I need to write out some of this clotted brain matter. So, my father was an A, and he started drinking when he was really young. After joining a church that required abstinence, he became dry for a while, obv without ever dealing with his stuff. In the...	cloverleaf	1	637	May 27, 2016 by missmeliss
	Miss being on here but... (Preview) Not much to say cause things have been great. All things are working together for the good.Good things happen when I help others. Simple as that!	Hoot Nanny	2	539	May 26, 2016 by milkwood
	C2C 5-26 How Flexibility Helps in Recovery (Preview) Thoughts with IamHere while she remains on holiday...The author of todays Courage to Change shared an inspiring perspective on the value of remaining flexible in thought and practice during our recovery.The author noted:· We may find ourselves trying to lock down our minds to avoid unwa...	Enigmatic	3	563	May 26, 2016 by Enigmatic
	so confused (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. For years I dealt with emotional abuse from his drinking. And I was an enabler because I constantly supported him financially because I knew he would have ended up dead and I couldn't let that happen. I was the only one there for him when things got bad and when I finally ran out...	roxy	6	778	May 26, 2016 by Mattie
	An Unmanageable Life (Preview) Hi everyone, This topic sounds like the title of a LIfetime Movie haha... I'm still here - reading, contributing when I can and trying to 'listen and learn'. I havent' been able to get to a live meeting in 3 weeks now, and I'm feeling it. Everything is done with my ex boyfriend. I sent him a one line, do...	CyndiODAT	1	684	May 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	How to NOT pick up the rope (Preview) Hi all, I have been enmeshed in the insanity of my exBF emailing me all week, challenging me, wanting to 'discuss' this and that. I tried a 'no response' tactic to his initial email a week ago, but that prompted him to check up on me on Facebook and discover that I am doing quite well, looking healthy and...	CyndiODAT	3	1375	May 26, 2016 by Iamhere
	Why can't i figure out what to do or say during one of my husband's dry drunk rages/rants dry drunk rageaholic assertiveness effective communication maturity alanon codependency rage (Preview) My husband is a dry drunk that uses anger as a way to stimulate himself (I'm guessing). I know it's some kind of rageaholic thing b/c I've seen him go into a rage about a typo in the newspaper by a columnist that he otherwise loves. He'll choose ANYTHING to rage about...whatever is handy, even if someti...	gen4	6	10070	May 26, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Hope for today may 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the damage gossip can do- on others and ourselves. Staying away from gossip keeps us away from business that is not ours and keeps us closer to our focus on ourselves and our recovery. The writer has set a boundary not to speak about someone if the person...	yanksfan51	5	714	May 25, 2016 by Nix
	Fear (Preview) I have been attending face to face meetings and it has been helping me a lot. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. The alcoholic BF has been abusive beyond belief toward me. He is drinking beyond belief, daily- 4 cases of beer and coolers a day and his anger has been out of control. I have been trying to...	joker	8	750	May 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Can't compete with the bottle (Preview) Sitting up late stewing as AH said he would be home in 15 minutes about 3 hours ago. Still not home and so disappointing as he had been doing pretty good for the last few weeks. a few here and there but no binges. I know I can't control him or cure him him but want to scream at him when he gets home. Does detachin...	Jennyp	3	799	May 25, 2016 by sweetness34
	Courage To Change 25/5 (Preview) Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "ju...	missmeliss	2	583	May 25, 2016 by sweetness34
	Irritating (Preview) So I have been asking for MONTHS now for my daughter to get EAP appointments for her anxiety. My X carries the insurance and he should since that's all he does. Well that SOB X of mine is an idiot .. LOL and SMH. My daughter has refused to talk to him about the appointments and push came to shove and there wa...	SerenityRUS	6	692	May 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Finding myself again is harder than I thought... (Preview) After 12 yrs of accepting, enabling and tolerating my husband's addiction, I have finally removed him from my life... We have 2 kids so I'm trying to figure out the coparenting aspect. He's moved on to other women. I spent many nights praying for this, as I felt this was my only way to escape the "prison....	NLiteNme	25	4199	May 24, 2016 by NLiteNme
	Obsessed...... (Preview) Once I realized that I could not help my AS, I have been obsessed with helping myself. I know in my heart that I am powerless over my sons addiction and my life has become unmanageable. I am praying and talking to my HP multiple times daily and listening for any messages my HP puts in front of me. Trying t...	onceuponatime	4	751	May 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	a man and his dog (Preview) My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I...	pixie	7	761	May 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	Gossip (Preview) We were doing a group inventory when a not SO new member admitted she gossips outside of meetings. We were shocked. No one really said anything in the meeting to her. Later I discussed with her and she saw nothing wrong with it "because everyone does it"! Went over anonymity, confidentiality, etc b...	deedeedianah	3	1238	May 23, 2016 by pinkchip
	Judging a person (Preview) Ok,now Ive always thought there were only one way to judge a person ?? I'm just found out from this certain person that they know how to judge a person but that they judge character that they are good at judging a persons character so that being said I feel like this person has already judged me and dislike...	lookingup	7	1569	May 23, 2016 by lookingup
	Happy to be home (Preview) I've gotten to where since its summer time now that I leave my home on Fridays and don't come home till Monday ,and here lately been staying gone a lot through the week ,I'm been getting out with my good freinds and we go to the beach or out to eat or what ever we want to do ,we just have fun,my freind is a life lo...	lookingup	3	550	May 23, 2016 by lookingup
	C2C Reading 5-23-2016 (Posting for Ms.M.) (Preview) Today's C2C speaks about how difficult it is to face up to our own imperfections, and how, when we have done wrong, it is so much easier to pretend it never happened or to justify the action. But the price we pay for avoiding our own mistakes is guilt.The reading suggests that the 10th step- continuing to...	hotrod	2	569	May 23, 2016 by sweetness34
	My first Al-anon meeting was AMAZING! (Preview) Thank you everyone for being so open and sharing your stories with me when I made my first post a few days ago. It got me through until I was able to get to a meeting. All of you who told me to get to a meeting were right. I have a lot of learning to do but I am so grateful!	Dlove	5	661	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	st. margaret mary church meeting, can i attend here? (Preview) Hi, Anyone attending the meeting at St.Margaret Mary Parish Church in Lomita, CA? I am visiting my brother here in USA. I am from the Philippines and we have no f2f meetings in my country, at least near my place. I'm very glad to find one 10 minutes walk away from my brother's place. It's a closed mee...	jocelgp	1	2341	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Moany parenty stuff. (Preview) I struggle lately with this child of mine. We seem to have hit a bit of an awkward patch. When we lived in chaos with my partner, it was daughter and I against the world and even then I knew that I let his awful behavior cover over some of my own less than stellar moments. Then when we moved out together, afte...	missmeliss	6	705	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	The God of my understand's wicked sense of humor .. (Preview) That I never appreciate until about 3 - 4 days later .. AFTER everything is resolved .. LOL. So last night I took my baby girl to a concert and on the way up there was a very serious conversation. I am so blessed to spend time with my girl on that level and the fact she feels she can share with me what she does i...	SerenityRUS	4	614	May 23, 2016 by SerenityRUS
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