Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the damage gossip can do- on others and ourselves. Staying away from gossip keeps us away from business that is not ours and keeps us closer to our focus on ourselves and our recovery. The writer has set a boundary not to speak about someone if the person...

joker · joker

I have been attending face to face meetings and it has been helping me a lot. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. The alcoholic BF has been abusive beyond belief toward me. He is drinking beyond belief, daily- 4 cases of beer and coolers a day and his anger has been out of control. I have been trying to...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Sitting up late stewing as AH said he would be home in 15 minutes about 3 hours ago. Still not home and so disappointing as he had been doing pretty good for the last few weeks. a few here and there but no binges. I know I can't control him or cure him him but want to scream at him when he gets home. Does detachin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "ju...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I have been asking for MONTHS now for my daughter to get EAP appointments for her anxiety. My X carries the insurance and he should since that's all he does. Well that SOB X of mine is an idiot .. LOL and SMH. My daughter has refused to talk to him about the appointments and push came to shove and there wa...

NLiteNme · NLiteNme

After 12 yrs of accepting, enabling and tolerating my husband's addiction, I have finally removed him from my life... We have 2 kids so I'm trying to figure out the coparenting aspect. He's moved on to other women. I spent many nights praying for this, as I felt this was my only way to escape the "prison....

onceuponatime · onceuponatime

Once I realized that I could not help my AS, I have been obsessed with helping myself. I know in my heart that I am powerless over my sons addiction and my life has become unmanageable. I am praying and talking to my HP multiple times daily and listening for any messages my HP puts in front of me. Trying t...

pixie · pixie

My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I...

deedeedianah · deedeedianah

We were doing a group inventory when a not SO new member admitted she gossips outside of meetings. We were shocked. No one really said anything in the meeting to her. Later I discussed with her and she saw nothing wrong with it "because everyone does it"! Went over anonymity, confidentiality, etc b...

lookingup · lookingup

Ok,now Ive always thought there were only one way to judge a person ?? I'm just found out from this certain person that they know how to judge a person but that they judge character that they are good at judging a persons character so that being said I feel like this person has already judged me and dislike...

lookingup · lookingup

I've gotten to where since its summer time now that I leave my home on Fridays and don't come home till Monday ,and here lately been staying gone a lot through the week ,I'm been getting out with my good freinds and we go to the beach or out to eat or what ever we want to do ,we just have fun,my freind is a life lo...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's C2C speaks about how difficult it is to face up to our own imperfections, and how, when we have done wrong, it is so much easier to pretend it never happened or to justify the action. But the price we pay for avoiding our own mistakes is guilt.The reading suggests that the 10th step- continuing to...

Dlove · Dlove

Thank you everyone for being so open and sharing your stories with me when I made my first post a few days ago. It got me through until I was able to get to a meeting. All of you who told me to get to a meeting were right. I have a lot of learning to do but I am so grateful!

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi, Anyone attending the meeting at St.Margaret Mary Parish Church in Lomita, CA? I am visiting my brother here in USA. I am from the Philippines and we have no f2f meetings in my country, at least near my place. I'm very glad to find one 10 minutes walk away from my brother's place. It's a closed mee...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I struggle lately with this child of mine. We seem to have hit a bit of an awkward patch. When we lived in chaos with my partner, it was daughter and I against the world and even then I knew that I let his awful behavior cover over some of my own less than stellar moments. Then when we moved out together, afte...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

That I never appreciate until about 3 - 4 days later .. AFTER everything is resolved .. LOL. So last night I took my baby girl to a concert and on the way up there was a very serious conversation. I am so blessed to spend time with my girl on that level and the fact she feels she can share with me what she does i...

Dlove · Dlove

I have attended my first Al-anon meeting, I have been reading non stop all the materials given to me, anything I can find on the Internet and reading my bible. So far, it has helped immensely. I feel not so overwhelmed, depressed, lonely, etc. However, tonight I am struggling. One of me and my AH's bigge...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 22nd speaks about our fears of looking at ourselves too deeply. It goes on to say that we are afraid to see ourselves as we really are because we view ourselves as hopelessly flawed and unworthy. I know I felt this way When I first entered Al-Anon and tried to work the steps, I thou...

Newandneedhelp · Newandneedhelp

3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

The author of todays Hope for Today page asks us to give thought to our expectations of Serenity and the AlAnon program. Specifically, towards what the program can do for us, and of equal importance, what it does not. According to the author:AlAnon Does Not · * Provide a magical escape from our...

Ladylissa · Ladylissa

My father did fall off the wagon but supposly he stopped drinking. I haven't been able to bring myself to a meeting. Before I got to talk to him my husband is still angry at my father. Which I can understand. He is still want to pursue a PFA on my father. I think he is upset that I won't do one. What my father did...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

I was in a panic/fear mode the last few days wondering if my AH was dead. I checked on him last night and fed the dogs and gave them water. He was in a drunken stupor, he ended up calling 911 and going to the hospital with a BAC of .24! The hospital called me, since he is still on my insurance. We are not divorced...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 21st speaks about the Seventh Step where we Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings. The reading .points out that" humbly" simply means that we calmly ask HP, and that we don't demand and we don't make numerous requests. We simply accept our place in our relationship to ...

El · El

So, I have been working very hard to watch what I say, how I say it, and to just ignore comments or negativity that come my way from my AH. A couple of times I have defended myself by calming stating that a comment of his was hurtful or unnecessary. My AH has responded very positively to my new attitude an...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Hugs, I really just wanted to stop and say it really does get better in the least expected ways .. I have made beautiful friends, found a part of who I am, all of who I am? Not so much .. LOL .. I'm working on that part of the deal. I haven't been attending meetings and I should find a book study at least and I al...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

AH is getting used to my recovery-minded ways. I realized he comes to me asking permission for things. In the past I judged him and got angry when he made choices for himself - even little things like choosing to buy new clothes, or taking a nap instead of going for a walk with me. I'm learning to let it go, l...

Ezbreeze62 · Ezbreeze62

This feeling of wanting to run to my son and 'fix' it is so overwhelming! I'm in a different state and I've just found out that he's probably using again. I feel so helpless and I understand that I AM helpless...I just don't know how to deal with this overwhelming PAIN and FRUSTRATION!!! I've been prayin...

Sundae · Sundae

My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years, we have no kids, but we have lived together since almost the beginning. We both drink, but the past couple of years his drinking has increased whereas mine has decreased. He gets emotional and frustrated about politics and people in his life, he

Teddybear1 · Teddybear1

Hi, just neede a bit of support. I've been married for 21 years, together for 28. My husband is what I understand to be a functioning alcoholic - company director, big salary, popular nice guy. Lovely home, two grown up kids. We both drank socially for a number of years when we met but in later years di...

Shawnie · Shawnie

I am brand new here and absorbing information like a sponge this morning. April 24 - I "came out of the closet" you could say. My AH of 23 years crossed the line on drinking -I have had it. I told him that I was done - I am so angry, tired, fed up, hurt, broken due to this disease and everything else on my plat...

Newandneedhelp · Newandneedhelp

3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...

sweetness34 · sweetness34

It's been a really tough week for me. It's been dark, grey, rainy and dismal, and that is parallel with my emotions this week. There has been a huge awakening for me the past few days. I've realized that, not only was I enabling my AH for many, many years, but I was doing the same with my children. My 23 year o...

el-cee · el-cee

My relationship with my ex ah was an intense, codependant nightmare. No doubt. It was also exciting in some respects, I never knew waht was coming and of course I got addicted to the drama buzz, the excited misery. Now I have this nice normal kind of relationship going on for about a year now and for some r...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm feeling lost here ,I guess for one thing I've been away from here for seems weeks,I can sure tell it to cause without working my program coming here meetings I'm very lost indeed .but now I'm back so now I can get myself back to where it was and move forward,makes sense to me anyway.point I'm really get...

rt · rt

Hello, everyone... I posted on here briefly over a year ago, and I guess I kind of stopped, because I went back into denial of my husband's drinking. A couple months after I last posted on here, he actually was involved in a drunk driving accident (no one else was involved, FYI), and he had to go to jail fo...

Dlove · Dlove

I am new here and need help...(First Post)I met my husband when he had been sober for a year. To support him, I decided to stop drinking socially. We have 3 kids together (11, 7, and 7 months old). He had been sober for 13 years and About a year ago he got a job as a DJ at a bar where all of his old (drinking) frien...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Good morning all, and best wishes to IamHere as she enjoys the beauty of the desert and temporary disruption of electronic connectivity. In her absence, I will share some brief thoughts about today's reading in Courage to Change. The reading touches on a fundamental AlAnon principle: the value of k...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I feel like the shorter the better. I am guilty of going on & on endlessly w o any sense sometimes. All of you all keep on posting. I just feel so far behind reading your posts. You definitely have a lot to say. Me I will keep it simple & say have a great day! Take a little time to enjoy the view & sme...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

My AH lives alone in a big house that I moved out of 2 years ago. He has chosen not to pay the mortgage since I left him. I warned him multiple times I was leaving if the drinking didn't stop. So I finally left. He was fired from his job 2 years ago also. Our home is now in foreclosure, it is set to go up for auction...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've just spent 24 hours with ..He Who Must Not Be Named? I can't comfortably call him "A". It just feels wrong to me now that I'm not angry with him all the time. In life I mostly call him Your Majesty which I find disproportionately hilarious. It's been almost 3 months since we last saw each other which h...

z88174 · z88174

My BF and I haven\t really been together all that long...a little over a year. He was a highly functioning alcoholic since the beginning of our relationship and when I finally decided to leave because of it, he promised to go to AA and get counselling etc... I wasn't sure what to make of all of these pro...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well today was certainly not what I had planned! Last night I handed in 2 assignments; I have done so many assignments in the last 4 weeks or so that the thought of any more makes me want to cry. The positive news is, for this semester I have only 3 more to do (fairly easy ones) and nothing due for 2 weeks now,...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c points out that life cannot always go smoothly and that we al-anoners tend to keep our frustrations inside rather than argue, letting them fester and making us irritable and unreasonable. It discusses the value of facing adversity and expressing feelings or tackling problems and that...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There are currently police and fire trucks in my street and a horrific smell. Someone set the neighbour's car on fire. There has been a spree of destruction lately not just in my area but across the state; particular gangs near me have been torching cars, smashing windscreens, attacking pets, just ra...

Ladylissa · Ladylissa

Hello everyone. I'm new to this board. My father has been sober for 5 years and just fell off the wagon tonight. He call my house and started some drama with my husband and grandmother, thrn he blames,me. I'm just heart broken

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone. After removing myself from the drama of an alcoholic home and then coming back to a sober spouse for a few days, I have to admit tonight I'm not doing so well. I have noticed that my A has been short and condescending since I came home and without the alcohol to make her tolerate me and being civ...

Huey · Huey

Hi All, the german 12 steps forum has been closed so I was looking for another platform for going on writing. A few weeks ago I moved from a city to a small village and had a lot of issues, but neither I had the time to write, nor the platform for doing this. So I felt a break in my history (the move) and a break i...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

If I knew, then I could make a decision and stick with it. If I knew, with 100% certainly, I could either stay or go, as I planned. Instead, I'm left wondering, and crying, and sad, and tired, and unsure of everything. I found a bottle, an almost full one. He was gone at the time. I threw some crap in a bag...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My keyboard on my tablet changed today & I don't like it! It is like a white-out & it used to be black. That has nothing to do w recovery but I am miffed. I won't let it ruin my day. Just something to get used to. Blah blah blah.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the many layers and variations of denial. We can be in denial about the disease of alcoholism, denial of pain, denial in order to block feeling. The quote from Courage to Change reminds us that 'denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism' For me,...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I am really trying to slow myself down. I found a scrap of paper with a woman's name, phone number and email address on it. It was clearly AH's handwriting and was tucked away but not exactly hidden. In the past he had a membership on a dating site "to meet friends" and talked with women on twitter who pos...

joker · joker

Well, I did it. I left the house. I barely was able to walk away. I grabbed a basket of things, change of clothes, my computer and medications and ran out the door. He was flipping on me. Today is Friday and Monday night he put a steak knife to my neck. I did talk to people about it in an al-anon meeting that eve...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello my friends! I have a rather personal issue I wish to address and discuss, if anyone is willing. I realize everyone is different so I will completely understand if no one has had the experience (or is willing to discuss it). Background: My RAH of 20 + years married and 36 + years drinking (started...

LinSC · LinSC

Well I have realized that after 25 years of being co-dependent and enabling my son to drink and drug, I have still not recovered from the trauma and hurt and regret of all those years. My son does not drink or drug anymore now for about 5 years, has a beautiful wife and child and seems to be happy. I realiz...

LinSC · LinSC

when your loved one gets sober, mother, brother, father, sister ,daughter, son. Have you forgiven them for all the damage that they have done and have u forgiven yourself for the enabling you did that you were totally unaware you were doing? How is the relationship today is it bruised, will it ever be t...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Today is just a typical day. I seem to have trouble concentrating & focusing. I just realized not too long ago what concentrating means. I am not a dictionary & don't have a real command of the English language. My basic intelligence comes from my memory. I did well before as long as I could memo...

lookingup · lookingup

I never really understood what a martyr is in alanon can someone help me with this ? And how it's used? ...........hugs Lu

jiff · jiff

Hi ... I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice. My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, th...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of tradition 8, and reminds us that we are a fellowship of equals; no-one is in charge and no-one can profess to be an expert in al-anon. The reading also suggests that al-anon has a fairly specific purpose- to assist with recovery from the effects of someone else's drinking. It cann...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hello all! After much thought and consideration, I have decided to give myself another chance by going back to ftf meetings locally (well 30 miles or so one way). I have been fooling myself, I think, because I went so long ago and didn't "gel" with the others there. This was not truly my bottom, as I stay...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hope for today may 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about the damage gossip can do- on others and ourselves. Staying away from gossip keeps us away from business that is not ours and keeps us closer to our focus on ourselves and our recovery. The writer has set a boundary not to speak about someone if the person...	yanksfan51	5	539	May 25, 2016 by Nix
	Fear (Preview) I have been attending face to face meetings and it has been helping me a lot. The last few weeks have been a nightmare. The alcoholic BF has been abusive beyond belief toward me. He is drinking beyond belief, daily- 4 cases of beer and coolers a day and his anger has been out of control. I have been trying to...	joker	8	553	May 25, 2016 by Jerry F
	Can't compete with the bottle (Preview) Sitting up late stewing as AH said he would be home in 15 minutes about 3 hours ago. Still not home and so disappointing as he had been doing pretty good for the last few weeks. a few here and there but no binges. I know I can't control him or cure him him but want to scream at him when he gets home. Does detachin...	Jennyp	3	614	May 25, 2016 by sweetness34
	Courage To Change 25/5 (Preview) Today's C2C is about honesty, and being able to answer questions such as 'how are you" honestly. It suggests that years of living with/covering for alcoholism and related behaviors probably means that we have been living with a great deal of angst and turmoil, whilst trying to pretend that we are "ju...	missmeliss	2	398	May 25, 2016 by sweetness34
	Irritating (Preview) So I have been asking for MONTHS now for my daughter to get EAP appointments for her anxiety. My X carries the insurance and he should since that's all he does. Well that SOB X of mine is an idiot .. LOL and SMH. My daughter has refused to talk to him about the appointments and push came to shove and there wa...	SerenityRUS	6	497	May 24, 2016 by Mirandac
	Finding myself again is harder than I thought... (Preview) After 12 yrs of accepting, enabling and tolerating my husband's addiction, I have finally removed him from my life... We have 2 kids so I'm trying to figure out the coparenting aspect. He's moved on to other women. I spent many nights praying for this, as I felt this was my only way to escape the "prison....	NLiteNme	25	3779	May 24, 2016 by NLiteNme
	Obsessed...... (Preview) Once I realized that I could not help my AS, I have been obsessed with helping myself. I know in my heart that I am powerless over my sons addiction and my life has become unmanageable. I am praying and talking to my HP multiple times daily and listening for any messages my HP puts in front of me. Trying t...	onceuponatime	4	559	May 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	a man and his dog (Preview) My AH uses our dog as an excuse to make what I call his "beer run".(That's his ring tone song on my cell too). I've known he does this for years (he's on his second dog) but he thinks I have no clue or I think so anyway. Sunday morning at 9:20 he comes in where I'm playing on the computer and says " the dog and I...	pixie	7	579	May 24, 2016 by pinkchip
	Gossip (Preview) We were doing a group inventory when a not SO new member admitted she gossips outside of meetings. We were shocked. No one really said anything in the meeting to her. Later I discussed with her and she saw nothing wrong with it "because everyone does it"! Went over anonymity, confidentiality, etc b...	deedeedianah	3	866	May 23, 2016 by pinkchip
	Judging a person (Preview) Ok,now Ive always thought there were only one way to judge a person ?? I'm just found out from this certain person that they know how to judge a person but that they judge character that they are good at judging a persons character so that being said I feel like this person has already judged me and dislike...	lookingup	7	1376	May 23, 2016 by lookingup
	Happy to be home (Preview) I've gotten to where since its summer time now that I leave my home on Fridays and don't come home till Monday ,and here lately been staying gone a lot through the week ,I'm been getting out with my good freinds and we go to the beach or out to eat or what ever we want to do ,we just have fun,my freind is a life lo...	lookingup	3	381	May 23, 2016 by lookingup
	C2C Reading 5-23-2016 (Posting for Ms.M.) (Preview) Today's C2C speaks about how difficult it is to face up to our own imperfections, and how, when we have done wrong, it is so much easier to pretend it never happened or to justify the action. But the price we pay for avoiding our own mistakes is guilt.The reading suggests that the 10th step- continuing to...	hotrod	2	395	May 23, 2016 by sweetness34
	My first Al-anon meeting was AMAZING! (Preview) Thank you everyone for being so open and sharing your stories with me when I made my first post a few days ago. It got me through until I was able to get to a meeting. All of you who told me to get to a meeting were right. I have a lot of learning to do but I am so grateful!	Dlove	5	498	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	st. margaret mary church meeting, can i attend here? (Preview) Hi, Anyone attending the meeting at St.Margaret Mary Parish Church in Lomita, CA? I am visiting my brother here in USA. I am from the Philippines and we have no f2f meetings in my country, at least near my place. I'm very glad to find one 10 minutes walk away from my brother's place. It's a closed mee...	jocelgp	1	1937	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Moany parenty stuff. (Preview) I struggle lately with this child of mine. We seem to have hit a bit of an awkward patch. When we lived in chaos with my partner, it was daughter and I against the world and even then I knew that I let his awful behavior cover over some of my own less than stellar moments. Then when we moved out together, afte...	missmeliss	6	535	May 23, 2016 by Doingmybest
	The God of my understand's wicked sense of humor .. (Preview) That I never appreciate until about 3 - 4 days later .. AFTER everything is resolved .. LOL. So last night I took my baby girl to a concert and on the way up there was a very serious conversation. I am so blessed to spend time with my girl on that level and the fact she feels she can share with me what she does i...	SerenityRUS	4	447	May 23, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	I am anxious and sad (Preview) I have attended my first Al-anon meeting, I have been reading non stop all the materials given to me, anything I can find on the Internet and reading my bible. So far, it has helped immensely. I feel not so overwhelmed, depressed, lonely, etc. However, tonight I am struggling. One of me and my AH's bigge...	Dlove	2	337	May 23, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 5-22-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 22nd speaks about our fears of looking at ourselves too deeply. It goes on to say that we are afraid to see ourselves as we really are because we view ourselves as hopelessly flawed and unworthy. I know I felt this way When I first entered Al-Anon and tried to work the steps, I thou...	hotrod	5	427	May 22, 2016 by hotrod
	Hopeless (Preview) 3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...	Newandneedhelp	6	498	May 22, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today 5-20 ~ What Alanon Does, and Does Not Do for Us (Preview) The author of todays Hope for Today page asks us to give thought to our expectations of Serenity and the AlAnon program. Specifically, towards what the program can do for us, and of equal importance, what it does not. According to the author:AlAnon Does Not · * Provide a magical escape from our...	Enigmatic	9	555	May 22, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Update sort of (Preview) My father did fall off the wagon but supposly he stopped drinking. I haven't been able to bring myself to a meeting. Before I got to talk to him my husband is still angry at my father. Which I can understand. He is still want to pursue a PFA on my father. I think he is upset that I won't do one. What my father did...	Ladylissa	1	324	May 22, 2016 by hotrod
	Feeling dumb for caring! (Preview) I was in a panic/fear mode the last few days wondering if my AH was dead. I checked on him last night and fed the dogs and gave them water. He was in a drunken stupor, he ended up calling 911 and going to the hospital with a BAC of .24! The hospital called me, since he is still on my insurance. We are not divorced...	Newlife girl	6	527	May 21, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change Reading 5-21-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 21st speaks about the Seventh Step where we *Humbly ask* Him to remove our shortcomings. The reading .points out that" humbly" simply means that we calmly ask HP, and that we don't demand and we don't make numerous requests. We simply accept our place in our relationship to ...	hotrod	3	645	May 21, 2016 by Rinn
	Sensitivity (Preview) So, I have been working very hard to watch what I say, how I say it, and to just ignore comments or negativity that come my way from my AH. A couple of times I have defended myself by calming stating that a comment of his was hurtful or unnecessary. My AH has responded very positively to my new attitude an...	El	19	680	May 21, 2016 by El
	My crazy journey (Preview) Hugs, I really just wanted to stop and say it really does get better in the least expected ways .. I have made beautiful friends, found a part of who I am, all of who I am? Not so much .. LOL .. I'm working on that part of the deal. I haven't been attending meetings and I should find a book study at least and I al...	SerenityRUS	1	365	May 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	My side of the street (Preview) AH is getting used to my recovery-minded ways. I realized he comes to me asking permission for things. In the past I judged him and got angry when he made choices for himself - even little things like choosing to buy new clothes, or taking a nap instead of going for a walk with me. I'm learning to let it go, l...	Taraxacum	4	469	May 21, 2016 by Mirandac
	I just cant. (Preview) This feeling of wanting to run to my son and 'fix' it is so overwhelming! I'm in a different state and I've just found out that he's probably using again. I feel so helpless and I understand that I AM helpless...I just don't know how to deal with this overwhelming PAIN and FRUSTRATION!!! I've been prayin...	Ezbreeze62	9	548	May 21, 2016 by Ezbreeze62
	I just confronted my long term boyfriend about his drinking (Preview) My boyfriend and I have been together 10 years, we have no kids, but we have lived together since almost the beginning. We both drink, but the past couple of years his drinking has increased whereas mine has decreased. He gets emotional and frustrated about politics and people in his life, he	Sundae	1	376	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Help with functioning alcoholic (Preview) Hi, just neede a bit of support. I've been married for 21 years, together for 28. My husband is what I understand to be a functioning alcoholic - company director, big salary, popular nice guy. Lovely home, two grown up kids. We both drank socially for a number of years when we met but in later years di...	Teddybear1	4	1990	May 20, 2016 by Shawnie
	Have I waited too long boundaries anger repeatng the cycle new (Preview) I am brand new here and absorbing information like a sponge this morning. April 24 - I "came out of the closet" you could say. My AH of 23 years crossed the line on drinking -I have had it. I told him that I was done - I am so angry, tired, fed up, hurt, broken due to this disease and everything else on my plat...	Shawnie	9	8194	May 20, 2016 by Shawnie
	Hopeless (Preview) 3.5 years ago we had a family tragedy and my husband began binge-drinking, for days at a time. To say it was devastating is an understatement. I felt so ashamed and so alone. In my public life, I'm a strong, independent career woman in a male-dominated field. I was so afraid that if anyone knew, their opi...	Newandneedhelp	1	394	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	The sun is shining (Preview) It's been a really tough week for me. It's been dark, grey, rainy and dismal, and that is parallel with my emotions this week. There has been a huge awakening for me the past few days. I've realized that, not only was I enabling my AH for many, many years, but I was doing the same with my children. My 23 year o...	sweetness34	5	455	May 20, 2016 by missmeliss
	Healthy annoys me (Preview) My relationship with my ex ah was an intense, codependant nightmare. No doubt. It was also exciting in some respects, I never knew waht was coming and of course I got addicted to the drama buzz, the excited misery. Now I have this nice normal kind of relationship going on for about a year now and for some r...	el-cee	17	641	May 20, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	Courtesy and respecting (Preview) I'm feeling lost here ,I guess for one thing I've been away from here for seems weeks,I can sure tell it to cause without working my program coming here meetings I'm very lost indeed .but now I'm back so now I can get myself back to where it was and move forward,makes sense to me anyway.point I'm really get...	lookingup	6	513	May 20, 2016 by lookingup
	Will I be able to do this???? How?! (Preview) Hello, everyone... I posted on here briefly over a year ago, and I guess I kind of stopped, because I went back into denial of my husband's drinking. A couple months after I last posted on here, he actually was involved in a drunk driving accident (no one else was involved, FYI), and he had to go to jail fo...	rt	16	677	May 20, 2016 by rt
	My husband relapsed after 13 years sober and I feel like I'm going crazy. (Preview) I am new here and need help...(First Post)I met my husband when he had been sober for a year. To support him, I decided to stop drinking socially. We have 3 kids together (11, 7, and 7 months old). He had been sober for 13 years and About a year ago he got a job as a DJ at a bar where all of his old (drinking) frien...	Dlove	16	785	May 20, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C 5-19 (Preview) Good morning all, and best wishes to IamHere as she enjoys the beauty of the desert and temporary disruption of electronic connectivity. In her absence, I will share some brief thoughts about today's reading in Courage to Change. The reading touches on a fundamental AlAnon principle: the value of k...	Enigmatic	4	438	May 19, 2016 by Enigmatic
	I like short posts(easier for me) (Preview) I feel like the shorter the better. I am guilty of going on & on endlessly w o any sense sometimes. All of you all keep on posting. I just feel so far behind reading your posts. You definitely have a lot to say. Me I will keep it simple & say have a great day! Take a little time to enjoy the view & sme...	Hoot Nanny	1	390	May 19, 2016 by hotrod
	5150? Please help. Need quick answers and support please! (Preview) My AH lives alone in a big house that I moved out of 2 years ago. He has chosen not to pay the mortgage since I left him. I warned him multiple times I was leaving if the drinking didn't stop. So I finally left. He was fired from his job 2 years ago also. Our home is now in foreclosure, it is set to go up for auction...	Newlife girl	12	2136	May 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	Blah blah (Preview) I've just spent 24 hours with ..He Who Must Not Be Named? I can't comfortably call him "A". It just feels wrong to me now that I'm not angry with him all the time. In life I mostly call him Your Majesty which I find disproportionately hilarious. It's been almost 3 months since we last saw each other which h...	missmeliss	5	578	May 19, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Is he not dealing with his issues? (Preview) My BF and I haven\t really been together all that long...a little over a year. He was a highly functioning alcoholic since the beginning of our relationship and when I finally decided to leave because of it, he promised to go to AA and get counselling etc... I wasn't sure what to make of all of these pro...	z88174	9	549	May 19, 2016 by CyndiODAT
	All of my old blah blah (Preview) Well today was certainly not what I had planned! Last night I handed in 2 assignments; I have done so many assignments in the last 4 weeks or so that the thought of any more makes me want to cry. The positive news is, for this semester I have only 3 more to do (fairly easy ones) and nothing due for 2 weeks now,...	missmeliss	9	548	May 19, 2016 by Breakingfree
	Courage to Change 18/5 (Preview) Today's c2c points out that life cannot always go smoothly and that we al-anoners tend to keep our frustrations inside rather than argue, letting them fester and making us irritable and unreasonable. It discusses the value of facing adversity and expressing feelings or tackling problems and that...	missmeliss	5	454	May 19, 2016 by missmeliss
	Gah. (Preview) There are currently police and fire trucks in my street and a horrific smell. Someone set the neighbour's car on fire. There has been a spree of destruction lately not just in my area but across the state; particular gangs near me have been torching cars, smashing windscreens, attacking pets, just ra...	missmeliss	4	486	May 18, 2016 by maryjane
	Fell off the wagon (Preview) Hello everyone. I'm new to this board. My father has been sober for 5 years and just fell off the wagon tonight. He call my house and started some drama with my husband and grandmother, thrn he blames,me. I'm just heart broken	Ladylissa	4	743	May 18, 2016 by Mirandac
	Not having a good day- new to this (Preview) Hi everyone. After removing myself from the drama of an alcoholic home and then coming back to a sober spouse for a few days, I have to admit tonight I'm not doing so well. I have noticed that my A has been short and condescending since I came home and without the alcohol to make her tolerate me and being civ...	gabigail	2	478	May 18, 2016 by Mirandac
	New here (Preview) Hi All, the german 12 steps forum has been closed so I was looking for another platform for going on writing. A few weeks ago I moved from a city to a small village and had a lot of issues, but neither I had the time to write, nor the platform for doing this. So I felt a break in my history (the move) and a break i...	Huey	5	578	May 18, 2016 by hotrod
	I just wish I knew for certain (Preview) If I knew, then I could make a decision and stick with it. If I knew, with 100% certainly, I could either stay or go, as I planned. Instead, I'm left wondering, and crying, and sad, and tired, and unsure of everything. I found a bottle, an almost full one. He was gone at the time. I threw some crap in a bag...	SpiderArcana	6	689	May 17, 2016 by Mattie
	I don't like change! (Preview) My keyboard on my tablet changed today & I don't like it! It is like a white-out & it used to be black. That has nothing to do w recovery but I am miffed. I won't let it ruin my day. Just something to get used to. Blah blah blah.	Hoot Nanny	1	352	May 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	Hope for Today May 17 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading is about the many layers and variations of denial. We can be in denial about the disease of alcoholism, denial of pain, denial in order to block feeling. The quote from Courage to Change reminds us that 'denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism' For me,...	yanksfan51	5	504	May 17, 2016 by sweetness34
	Facing my own shaddows, fears of infidelity (Preview) I am really trying to slow myself down. I found a scrap of paper with a woman's name, phone number and email address on it. It was clearly AH's handwriting and was tucked away but not exactly hidden. In the past he had a membership on a dating site "to meet friends" and talked with women on twitter who pos...	Taraxacum	11	599	May 17, 2016 by Mirandac
	update (Preview) Well, I did it. I left the house. I barely was able to walk away. I grabbed a basket of things, change of clothes, my computer and medications and ran out the door. He was flipping on me. Today is Friday and Monday night he put a steak knife to my neck. I did talk to people about it in an al-anon meeting that eve...	joker	8	557	May 17, 2016 by KT2015
	Question for those whose long term AH got sober - adult theme mentioned (Preview) Hello my friends! I have a rather personal issue I wish to address and discuss, if anyone is willing. I realize everyone is different so I will completely understand if no one has had the experience (or is willing to discuss it). Background: My RAH of 20 + years married and 36 + years drinking (started...	Doingmybest	9	701	May 17, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Still doesnt feel right ....... (Preview) Well I have realized that after 25 years of being co-dependent and enabling my son to drink and drug, I have still not recovered from the trauma and hurt and regret of all those years. My son does not drink or drug anymore now for about 5 years, has a beautiful wife and child and seems to be happy. I realiz...	LinSC	6	544	May 17, 2016 by el-cee
	R u still resentful? (Preview) when your loved one gets sober, mother, brother, father, sister ,daughter, son. Have you forgiven them for all the damage that they have done and have u forgiven yourself for the enabling you did that you were totally unaware you were doing? How is the relationship today is it bruised, will it ever be t...	LinSC	4	446	May 17, 2016 by el-cee
	concentrate & focus. (Preview) Today is just a typical day. I seem to have trouble concentrating & focusing. I just realized not too long ago what concentrating means. I am not a dictionary & don't have a real command of the English language. My basic intelligence comes from my memory. I did well before as long as I could memo...	Hoot Nanny	2	488	May 16, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Martyr ???? (Preview) I never really understood what a martyr is in alanon can someone help me with this ? And how it's used? ...........hugs Lu	lookingup	8	3338	May 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Need Some Advice, Please (Preview) Hi ... I am in need of some sort of perspective and found this message board and decided to post to get a little insight and advice. My partner is going on their second year in recovery. Things this week have been a little unsettling and as a result of a conversation we had last night, they revealed to me, th...	jiff	1	411	May 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change 16/5 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of tradition 8, and reminds us that we are a fellowship of equals; no-one is in charge and no-one can profess to be an expert in al-anon. The reading also suggests that al-anon has a fairly specific purpose- to assist with recovery from the effects of someone else's drinking. It cann...	missmeliss	3	429	May 16, 2016 by lookingup
	I think it is time To reassess myself. (Preview) Hello all! After much thought and consideration, I have decided to give myself another chance by going back to ftf meetings locally (well 30 miles or so one way). I have been fooling myself, I think, because I went so long ago and didn't "gel" with the others there. This was not truly my bottom, as I stay...	Doingmybest	2	434	May 16, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.