Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Helpangel · Helpangel

Hi everyone. I was wondering if boundaries and codependency have to do with when they come in and are in a bad mood or when they are constantly negative. How does everyone have boundaries or handle that. I find I start getting depressed after awhile- the therapist just says ignore it and it's not about m...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about trusting a Higher Power and having faith. I'm starting with the quote - because it is powerful and spot on for me today - "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek, not to understand that thou mayest believe; but believe that thou mayest understand." --- Aurel...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Yeepers..59 and so fine lol. Going to brunch with boyfriend, bro in law,niece and nephew. First time nephew 21 meets my boyfriend. first birthday away from xah Yeah!

jitsuka · jitsuka

I am feeling low, really low. And p*ssed off. And quite angry - all at the same time. I was day dreaming, well more evening dreaming, as I was sat there, another night on my own - like every night. Watching TV / playing computer games / surfing the internet. I was imagining a free-er life, enjoying a day out...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading gives us a chance to step out of the standard steps and slogans, into the realm of Traditions and personal opportunity within the program. Tradition seven states that groups should be self-supporting...what does that mean?The author, and I myself for a long time, thought of it only...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

Hi all, What a wonderful group, I'm so grateful to be a part of this :) So I've been married to a functional alco for 7 years, and like so many others have run to gamut of trying to cope with/change the situation. I found peace when I learned that none of my tactics had any effect (other then tiring me out), s...

tired of it · tired of it

So, my binge AH is almost done with his latest binge. Tonight he complimented me on how I handled it! In the past I would have done the usual arguing, crying, pleading, hiding and throwing away alcohol. This time I have really focused on detaching, at least trying to. I have not argued and not reacte...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Prayer Under PressureWhenever I find myself under acute tensions,I lengthen my daily walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and breathing.If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try to repeat, God grant me the serenity to love their best, and never fea...

a4l · a4l

Tonight the ah and I went out with the kids for dinner at a local pub. I don't know if Americans do pubs but basically pubs have full kitchens and bars, its all very casual. Kind of. Some are nicer than others and I've never been to our local, but I didn't feel like cooking and they do 12 dollar steaks on Wedne...

I love my son · I love my son

my first post not sure what's really going on. My adult teenage is in rehab both drugs and alcohol. I have not and will not enable him. His mom does the opposite of me she wants to be his friend and make me look bad. This is just a green light for him to do as he wants even in her house. Does she not care what it's d...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I'm wrestling with a big (to me) issue and writing about it to myself to try to get the scope of things out in the open so that I can hopefully come to some sort of resolution/decision about it. This sentence - Let it go to God and trust in God's will for guidance came off of my fingers and onto the page. I love f...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I've been thru so much lately with my AH and have been working so hard just to keep focus on my self care and serenity. I am trying very hard not to mind my AH, whatever he is doing, planning, or up to; what he thinks of himself and what he plans for himself. I keep on reminding myself to Let Go and Let God, God...

KT2015 · KT2015

Good Morning all. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety and having difficulty with detachment from AH lately. The anxiety has been intense at times and I have been using the slogan "this too shall pass" when I get too overwhelmed by it. I've been reflecting a lot on why I feel anxious and I think it ha...

deacon · deacon

While our son and his wife are not communicating with us in any way because they are so angry, modern technology is maintaining some contact through a third party. Got news today that both son and his wife are now employed, have rented a house and bought a car of some sort. DIL sounds very happy in what sh...

l8after12 · l8after12

I'm new to this message board, but I have been attending Al-Anon meetings since March. I'm slowly but surely working on my recovery. However, today was hard, and I needed an outlet. Long story short: My BF and I work together. I'm a manager, he isn't. He's not on my team, so there's no conflict of interes...

joker · joker

Things at home continue to progress forward.The abf remains sober. Its a miracle. Yesterday, we worked on cleaning the garage and he found 2 unopened beer and threw the contents out. I was shocked. He says, you want a drink and I said NO, he says its a cold beer, and I said No again. He went and opened it and...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 15 minutes. Come along and join us!

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Just got up, AH didn't make it to bed. Came downstairs to find him very drunk in the lounge. Is about 6am. Been drinking all night. In awful state. befuddled and talking in riddles of course. I had a hot drink with him and gently sent him off to bed. I was kind but as best I can tell, was not enabling. He liter...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have truly been blessed in ways that boggle my mind with friendships and lessons from very powerful women in my life. I'm starting to include men as well .. usually it doesn't fair to well for them .. poor Morty the Mortician .. lol. Sigh .. there was also my barstool cowboy and that is a story in a half...

Aerin · Aerin

One of the main reasons I stay is because I freaking feel sorry for him! I wish I didn't!! It isn't really love that keeps me here. If it was a "friend" in this situation I'd probably walk away until they were really clean. Anytime he binge drinks (right now he hasnt had a drink in 2 weeks, usually its 1 or 2x a...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Does anyone here know if Al Anon has particular guidelines how group birthday is celebrated?

Nancy D · Nancy D

I'm in love with a man and have been with him for three years now but he is a binge drinker . When he reaches a certain point with drinking, a change comes over him. He becomes verbally insulting to other people and this invariably turns on me by the end of the night. What really hurts is that he has repeate...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Hi everyone, After being injured from drunkenness, my AH promised he will no longer drink. A promise I reiterated that should be made to himself and not to me. However, he is doing it by himself, he doesn't believe anyone else can help him. Of course the "moods" are still there, and I've read here tha...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I love music and truly believe that if you listen to a song whose lyrics really hit home it can help you get through whatever situation you are dealing with. With that in mind my song for the day is "Chain of Fools" by the great Aretha Franklin! It so fits the realtionship of being involved with an alcoho...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I had a previously-planned trip this past weekend with an old friend. It came at a great time for me as I'm processing having recently broken up with ABF and reflecting on my choices and behaviors. My friend came into a little windfall and he paid for and planned this whole trip. I surrendered and let him...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the options available to us if there are times, or if in general, it is difficult to attend face to face meetings. I live in a large suburb of a capital city, so there are no shortage of meetings around - my location was never a problem. For me, initially I f...

tucker · tucker

I am mulling over an amends that I think I need to make to my daughter in law. We have never had a good relationship. I have always attempted to be kind and welcoming to her but the truth is that I find her irritating. Loud, self-centered. We are very different personalities and always seem to be at odds wit...

Crau · Crau

I unpacked the final boxes of my new place. I found my journal I kept when my ex and I first broke up close to two years ago now. It was truly a painful time in my life. The words written full of hurt, blame, naievity and hope. As I read each passage, i recognized how far I've come in my journey and how far I stil...

tired of it · tired of it

Has anyone else ever had this crazy thought: maybe I will become an alcoholic so that my AH will finally understand what I have been going through all these years. Crazy and won't happen of course, but I have thought about it!

KMM93 · KMM93

Hi - I've been struggling with an issue and would like to hear others opinions... My A boyfriend is traveling overseas later this week with his very elderly father and 20ish daughter. He is the driver that will travel over some rough terrain and narrow roadways. The family is aware of his past but is no...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I went to a wedding yesterday and it was a recovery wedding. It was an outside event and full of fun, laughter, program, fellowship and love. It was different than any other wedding I had been at, and I brought home the program, which had the Apache Marriage Blessing - new to me and gave me cause to pa...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Adapted from a prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr --- Divine, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting h...

CyndiODAT · CyndiODAT

Hi everyone, My best friend of 31 years is an alcoholic. She and I have 'broken' up a few times over the years. The last time we didn't speak for close to two years. In the past three years, I've watched the dysfunction in her family unfold at a rapid rate. Not only are they big partiers, but they had un...

geems · geems

Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particul...

Crau · Crau

I attended a concert last night for a band that is a favorite of my ex. It would be classified as great drinking music and many of the concert we did just that. There was a man at the concert with us whom we all watched and laughed at as he drunkenly danced with the staff that came to clean up the beer that spill...

blindsided · blindsided

Today is my AH's and my 18th wedding anniversary. He has been drinking all weekend and I have been crying all weekend. I am so lonely. I have been trying to decide if I should stay or leave for a few months. I change my mind every day. I don't know how much longer I can take this behavior. I go to f2f meet...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Today's c2c speaks of the 7th step, where we humbly ask our HP to remove our shortcomings. It suggests that we may see our feelings as shortcomings (anger, fear, guilt etc) and hope that they will be removed; of course this won't happen. What can happen is that our denial of our feelings and our determin...

madowl86 · madowl86

Hi all, My ABF also dabbles in prescription pills, but he rarely admits it to me. He says he will occasionally "pop a perk" but that it's not an all the time thing. Recently this summer I have noticed it has become more frequent. I have either found pills themselves, bottles, or messages. Just today...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I read a quote or a saying today that said "AA promises sobriety to the alcoholic - Al-Anon promises serenity to the person that loves the alcoholic". I LOVE THAT SAYING. It makes me feel like there is hope for me to have a peaceful and stable life again. And the ex ABF can have his sobriety - good for him...

tired of it · tired of it

As I read posts and live my crappy life, I have to ask "why are we doing this?" Why do we put up with the BS day in and day out??? My binge AH just continues to lie and lie more. Says he is going to quit but just keeps going. Can't get up for work in the morning or has to take a break in the middle of the day. We ow...

Groo · Groo

My AH is so soaked in alcohol, I doubt we will ever see the real him again. He has PSTD (not military related), anxiety, delusions, paranoia, and of course does all manner of stupid things while drunk. Last week he sent a barrage of crazy/delusional and abusive drunken text messages to everyone that...

pinkchip · pinkchip

A few months ago my ex-A friended me on Facebook. I have kept loosely in touch with him. Mostly hearing about his drama with new drunk/druggie boyfriends and I would roll my eyes and congratulate myself for moving on. So...this time, I see on facebook he is "moving back to DC his old stomping grounds to p...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 4 addresses the important slogan :"let go and let God and focus on yourself" The reading points out that when we do so,we discover an increasing calmness in our mind. and many times we become uncomfortable because we know how to live in crisis but it often takes a adj...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon and i am not... Putting up with unacceptable behaviour for long anymore Blind to what is going on in my life anymore Hateful and bitter anymore Above or below anyone anymore Walking with my head down wracked with shame and embarrassment anymore Unforgiving and narrow mi...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I'm realizing a woman who I started to become friends with may be very dramatic and creating chaos in her own life. I noticed a feeling in myself when we talk sometimes; I'm really trying to do or say what I think she wants me to do or say or what I think will keep her happy with me. It is an old and unhealthy pat...

OptimisticPi · OptimisticPi

You guys. I completely detached with love from my ex. I got a dog. I got two great job opportunities. I'm getting in shape again. I was getting some distance... And then I relapsed. I actually went to a party, and now I just see the whole alcoholic and co-dependent relationships. A FA ended up talking to m...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

So I was informed by my ABF today by text that "he needs to stay away for awhile from texting me and calling me on the phone and he's really sorry" - whatever - this is what happens every time after he detoxes and starts talking to his sponsor and going to meetings. He convinces himself (or someone convinc...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

Hi all. I haven't been around this board in a while but have regularly been attending meetings. Life has been manageable and I have been trying to enjoy the summer with my two boys (12 & 9). Unfortunately the progression of my ex's active addiction is starting to weigh heavily on me. To summari...

El · El

Sorry. There are NO perks to alcoholism and its effects on everyone around it. However, I have been able to find a little humor today and that's better than how I used to react. As we all know, every day is a new adventure with our A's. With my AH, it is a different mood most days. He can be quiet and just ca...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for September 3 speaks about our fantasies and dreams prior to entering Al-Anon. The reading points out that many would often project and state some day I'll do this project or someday I'll call my friend or someday I'll be happy and take that trip. We put off our happiness and are wil...

MarciaP · MarciaP

I just received this workbook and I love it and can not wait to get started. Should I wait until I have a sponsor to start this? There are 4 people in my group that might be potential sponsors for me but I am still having trouble with courage to ask. Thanks!

jojo8466 · jojo8466

This whole detaching with love thing would be a lot easier if we didn't live in the electronic age of cell phones, emails, texts, face times, facebook etc.......it's hard to stick to your boundaries when the person constantly on your mind is just a push of a button away from contact -

easterjane · easterjane

Hi everyone. This is my first time on the forums. I have been attending al anon for the past few months and it has helped me immensely. My husband had been in recovery for 7 months, 3 of these in intense residential rehab, he is now living in supported accommodation and attends aftercare with the same pro...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

I am going to need to go to TONS of meetings to handle what is going on in my life. I am very ashamed to share this but my ex husband was arrested for some "billing" issue in 2010. we both thought it was a mistake and the government will not let go of it! They will NOT settle and we have a 13 year old son. My hus...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Yesterday in our F2F meeting, we were talking about Acceptance. As a double-winner, I have the pleasure of tons of literature from both sides of the table. This popped into my head and I promised to bring it back to the group next week. I've modified it just a bit to remove one line for As - it's conside...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 1 - "We admitted we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable." The writer suggests that one word describes this step for them - that word is Grief. They had a friend who rapidly progressed through the disease from reasonable health and apparen...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

I don't understand why somedays I feel so strong and other days so week - I've done really well not contacting him for a couple of days and then last night and this morning I sent texts and called him. UGH. I just make myself a nervous wreck and sick by trying to contact him and then anxious on whether he wi...

A new member at my home group · e_i_m

I was at my home group meeting tonight -- great meeting, as it always is. I feel very comfortable there, and I have been wanting to make friends with people from al-anon outside of the meetings, but it has never happened. I've called a couple of people and they never called me back, and I've hung around ho...

abc3613 · abc3613

Hello. This is my first post to this board so please bear with me if I make a mistake or ramble too much. I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 14 years and a total together of 18 years. We have 3 boys ages 13,9, and 3. His drinking progressively became out of control over the last 3 years, coming to a...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

My AH suggested inviting my mom for dinner Saturday and offered to call. We spent morning and early afternoon apart. He texts me that my mom accepted. Great. I get home, and we talk about dinner with mom. He has red wine stains on his mouth. Off balance. I say I'm going to have a nap. He says he will nap wi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	codependent and what they say boundaries (Preview) Hi everyone. I was wondering if boundaries and codependency have to do with when they come in and are in a bad mood or when they are constantly negative. How does everyone have boundaries or handle that. I find I start getting depressed after awhile- the therapist just says ignore it and it's not about m...	Helpangel	2	1201	Sep 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/8/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about trusting a Higher Power and having faith. I'm starting with the quote - because it is powerful and spot on for me today - "Understanding is the reward of faith. Therefore, seek, not to understand that thou mayest believe; but believe that thou mayest understand." --- Aurel...	Iamhere	5	409	Sep 8, 2016 by lookingup
	iTS MY BIRTHDAY (Preview) Yeepers..59 and so fine lol. Going to brunch with boyfriend, bro in law,niece and nephew. First time nephew 21 meets my boyfriend. first birthday away from xah Yeah!	YARNCRAZY	16	432	Sep 8, 2016 by lookingup
	Imaging a free life (Preview) I am feeling low, really low. And p*ssed off. And quite angry - all at the same time. I was day dreaming, well more evening dreaming, as I was sat there, another night on my own - like every night. Watching TV / playing computer games / surfing the internet. I was imagining a free-er life, enjoying a day out...	jitsuka	7	346	Sep 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-7-16 Tradition Seven (Preview) Today's reading gives us a chance to step out of the standard steps and slogans, into the realm of Traditions and personal opportunity within the program. Tradition seven states that groups should be self-supporting...what does that mean?The author, and I myself for a long time, thought of it only...	Enigmatic	4	376	Sep 8, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Sticking to boundaries can be tiring (Preview) Hi all, What a wonderful group, I'm so grateful to be a part of this :) So I've been married to a functional alco for 7 years, and like so many others have run to gamut of trying to cope with/change the situation. I found peace when I learned that none of my tactics had any effect (other then tiring me out), s...	MidnightOwl	10	517	Sep 8, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	compliment from AH (Preview) So, my binge AH is almost done with his latest binge. Tonight he complimented me on how I handled it! In the past I would have done the usual arguing, crying, pleading, hiding and throwing away alcohol. This time I have really focused on detaching, at least trying to. I have not argued and not reacte...	tired of it	4	349	Sep 8, 2016 by milkwood
	Prayer Under Pressure - From Bill W., 1962 (Preview) Prayer Under PressureWhenever I find myself under acute tensions,I lengthen my daily walks and slowly repeat our Serenity Prayer in rhythm to my steps and breathing.If I feel that my pain has in part been occasioned by others, I try to repeat, God grant me the serenity to love their best, and never fea...	Iamhere	1	277	Sep 8, 2016 by hotrod
	grateful (Preview) Tonight the ah and I went out with the kids for dinner at a local pub. I don't know if Americans do pubs but basically pubs have full kitchens and bars, its all very casual. Kind of. Some are nicer than others and I've never been to our local, but I didn't feel like cooking and they do 12 dollar steaks on Wedne...	a4l	6	320	Sep 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is it for real? (Preview) my first post not sure what's really going on. My adult teenage is in rehab both drugs and alcohol. I have not and will not enable him. His mom does the opposite of me she wants to be his friend and make me look bad. This is just a green light for him to do as he wants even in her house. Does she not care what it's d...	I love my son	4	461	Sep 7, 2016 by I love my son
	Let it go to God and trust in God's will for guidance (Preview) I'm wrestling with a big (to me) issue and writing about it to myself to try to get the scope of things out in the open so that I can hopefully come to some sort of resolution/decision about it. This sentence - Let it go to God and trust in God's will for guidance came off of my fingers and onto the page. I love f...	likemyheart	4	467	Sep 7, 2016 by jocelgp
	why is AH seeming to disturb the serenity I am working so hard for myself (Preview) I've been thru so much lately with my AH and have been working so hard just to keep focus on my self care and serenity. I am trying very hard not to mind my AH, whatever he is doing, planning, or up to; what he thinks of himself and what he plans for himself. I keep on reminding myself to Let Go and Let God, God...	jocelgp	17	484	Sep 7, 2016 by jocelgp
	riding the waves of anxiety (Preview) Good Morning all. I've been experiencing a lot of anxiety and having difficulty with detachment from AH lately. The anxiety has been intense at times and I have been using the slogan "this too shall pass" when I get too overwhelmed by it. I've been reflecting a lot on why I feel anxious and I think it ha...	KT2015	8	537	Sep 7, 2016 by Charlotte22
	Chosing to believe (Preview) While our son and his wife are not communicating with us in any way because they are so angry, modern technology is maintaining some contact through a third party. Got news today that both son and his wife are now employed, have rented a house and bought a car of some sort. DIL sounds very happy in what sh...	deacon	2	344	Sep 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	He put me in an impossible position (Preview) I'm new to this message board, but I have been attending Al-Anon meetings since March. I'm slowly but surely working on my recovery. However, today was hard, and I needed an outlet. Long story short: My BF and I work together. I'm a manager, he isn't. He's not on my team, so there's no conflict of interes...	l8after12	6	390	Sep 7, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Continue to remain grateful (Preview) Things at home continue to progress forward.The abf remains sober. Its a miracle. Yesterday, we worked on cleaning the garage and he found 2 unopened beer and threw the contents out. I was shocked. He says, you want a drink and I said NO, he says its a cold beer, and I said No again. He went and opened it and...	joker	5	372	Sep 7, 2016 by jocelgp
	AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST - WEDNESDAY (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 15 minutes. Come along and join us!	shimo	1	199	Sep 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Am I not supposed to mind? (Preview) Just got up, AH didn't make it to bed. Came downstairs to find him very drunk in the lounge. Is about 6am. Been drinking all night. In awful state. befuddled and talking in riddles of course. I had a hot drink with him and gently sent him off to bed. I was kind but as best I can tell, was not enabling. He liter...	Calm Lady	25	597	Sep 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	My beautiful best friend .. (Preview) I have truly been blessed in ways that boggle my mind with friendships and lessons from very powerful women in my life. I'm starting to include men as well .. usually it doesn't fair to well for them .. poor Morty the Mortician .. lol. Sigh .. there was also my barstool cowboy and that is a story in a half...	SerenityRUS	6	429	Sep 7, 2016 by Jerry F
	Now I Feel Sorry For Him! (Preview) One of the main reasons I stay is because I freaking feel sorry for him! I wish I didn't!! It isn't really love that keeps me here. If it was a "friend" in this situation I'd probably walk away until they were really clean. Anytime he binge drinks (right now he hasnt had a drink in 2 weeks, usually its 1 or 2x a...	Aerin	12	530	Sep 6, 2016 by geems
	Guidelines on how to celebrate al anon group birthday? (Preview) Does anyone here know if Al Anon has particular guidelines how group birthday is celebrated?	kadriliisa	2	383	Sep 6, 2016 by kadriliisa
	Hi .I'm new to this chat room and a bit nervous . (Preview) I'm in love with a man and have been with him for three years now but he is a binge drinker . When he reaches a certain point with drinking, a change comes over him. He becomes verbally insulting to other people and this invariably turns on me by the end of the night. What really hurts is that he has repeate...	Nancy D	15	607	Sep 6, 2016 by Aerin
	i'm getting very suspicious, is this healthy? (Preview) Hi everyone, After being injured from drunkenness, my AH promised he will no longer drink. A promise I reiterated that should be made to himself and not to me. However, he is doing it by himself, he doesn't believe anyone else can help him. Of course the "moods" are still there, and I've read here tha...	jocelgp	23	614	Sep 6, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Song for the day.... (Preview) I love music and truly believe that if you listen to a song whose lyrics really hit home it can help you get through whatever situation you are dealing with. With that in mind my song for the day is "Chain of Fools" by the great Aretha Franklin! It so fits the realtionship of being involved with an alcoho...	jojo8466	24	508	Sep 6, 2016 by jojo8466
	Learning weekend (Preview) I had a previously-planned trip this past weekend with an old friend. It came at a great time for me as I'm processing having recently broken up with ABF and reflecting on my choices and behaviors. My friend came into a little windfall and he paid for and planned this whole trip. I surrendered and let him...	e_i_m	2	318	Sep 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Hope for Today Sept 6 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the options available to us if there are times, or if in general, it is difficult to attend face to face meetings. I live in a large suburb of a capital city, so there are no shortage of meetings around - my location was never a problem. For me, initially I f...	yanksfan51	2	261	Sep 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Amends question - I need help and appreciate all feedback (Preview) I am mulling over an amends that I think I need to make to my daughter in law. We have never had a good relationship. I have always attempted to be kind and welcoming to her but the truth is that I find her irritating. Loud, self-centered. We are very different personalities and always seem to be at odds wit...	tucker	8	421	Sep 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	how do you measure your progress? (Preview) I unpacked the final boxes of my new place. I found my journal I kept when my ex and I first broke up close to two years ago now. It was truly a painful time in my life. The words written full of hurt, blame, naievity and hope. As I read each passage, i recognized how far I've come in my journey and how far I stil...	Crau	3	336	Sep 5, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Am I crazy? (Preview) Has anyone else ever had this crazy thought: maybe I will become an alcoholic so that my AH will finally understand what I have been going through all these years. Crazy and won't happen of course, but I have thought about it!	tired of it	8	398	Sep 5, 2016 by tired of it
	Need some guidance/advice; BF travels travel newcomer advice (Preview) Hi - I've been struggling with an issue and would like to hear others opinions... My A boyfriend is traveling overseas later this week with his very elderly father and 20ish daughter. He is the driver that will travel over some rough terrain and narrow roadways. The family is aware of his past but is no...	KMM93	4	4312	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Apache Marriage Blessing - From my Wedding Yesterday (Preview) So - I went to a wedding yesterday and it was a recovery wedding. It was an outside event and full of fun, laughter, program, fellowship and love. It was different than any other wedding I had been at, and I brought home the program, which had the Apache Marriage Blessing - new to me and gave me cause to pa...	Iamhere	4	2606	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Community Prayer - Also from the Marriage I attended... (Preview) Adapted from a prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr --- Divine, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting h...	Iamhere	1	274	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	"Best Friend" (Preview) Hi everyone, My best friend of 31 years is an alcoholic. She and I have 'broken' up a few times over the years. The last time we didn't speak for close to two years. In the past three years, I've watched the dysfunction in her family unfold at a rapid rate. Not only are they big partiers, but they had un...	CyndiODAT	3	571	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	In Al-Anon We Learn (Preview) Morning (((Kids)))! The list of what we learn is exciting. Take the first thing they tell us we'll learn. "Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people." The way to learn that will require my participation in and commitment to the program. It's my job to do the learning. My particul...	geems	7	409	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	A different lens (Preview) I attended a concert last night for a band that is a favorite of my ex. It would be classified as great drinking music and many of the concert we did just that. There was a man at the concert with us whom we all watched and laughed at as he drunkenly danced with the staff that came to clean up the beer that spill...	Crau	1	263	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy Anniversary! (Preview) Today is my AH's and my 18th wedding anniversary. He has been drinking all weekend and I have been crying all weekend. I am so lonely. I have been trying to decide if I should stay or leave for a few months. I change my mind every day. I don't know how much longer I can take this behavior. I go to f2f meet...	blindsided	4	317	Sep 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 5/9 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the 7th step, where we humbly ask our HP to remove our shortcomings. It suggests that we may see our feelings as shortcomings (anger, fear, guilt etc) and hope that they will be removed; of course this won't happen. What can happen is that our denial of our feelings and our determin...	missmeliss	3	368	Sep 5, 2016 by hotrod
	ABF abusing pills (Preview) Hi all, My ABF also dabbles in prescription pills, but he rarely admits it to me. He says he will occasionally "pop a perk" but that it's not an all the time thing. Recently this summer I have noticed it has become more frequent. I have either found pills themselves, bottles, or messages. Just today...	madowl86	6	402	Sep 5, 2016 by pinkchip
	Quote / Saying... (Preview) I read a quote or a saying today that said "AA promises sobriety to the alcoholic - Al-Anon promises serenity to the person that loves the alcoholic". I LOVE THAT SAYING. It makes me feel like there is hope for me to have a peaceful and stable life again. And the ex ABF can have his sobriety - good for him...	jojo8466	1	272	Sep 4, 2016 by hotrod
	why are we doing this (Preview) As I read posts and live my crappy life, I have to ask "why are we doing this?" Why do we put up with the BS day in and day out??? My binge AH just continues to lie and lie more. Says he is going to quit but just keeps going. Can't get up for work in the morning or has to take a break in the middle of the day. We ow...	tired of it	20	552	Sep 4, 2016 by jojo8466
	Just Venting... (Preview) My AH is so soaked in alcohol, I doubt we will ever see the real him again. He has PSTD (not military related), anxiety, delusions, paranoia, and of course does all manner of stupid things while drunk. Last week he sent a barrage of crazy/delusional and abusive drunken text messages to everyone that...	Groo	13	421	Sep 4, 2016 by tired of it
	Clarity 8 years later (Preview) A few months ago my ex-A friended me on Facebook. I have kept loosely in touch with him. Mostly hearing about his drama with new drunk/druggie boyfriends and I would roll my eyes and congratulate myself for moving on. So...this time, I see on facebook he is "moving back to DC his old stomping grounds to p...	pinkchip	7	420	Sep 4, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage to Change Reading 9-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 4 addresses the important slogan :"let go and let God and focus on yourself" The reading points out that when we do so,we discover an increasing calmness in our mind. and many times we become uncomfortable because we know how to live in crisis but it often takes a adj...	hotrod	5	486	Sep 4, 2016 by maryjane
	What im not.... (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon and i am not... Putting up with unacceptable behaviour for long anymore Blind to what is going on in my life anymore Hateful and bitter anymore Above or below anyone anymore Walking with my head down wracked with shame and embarrassment anymore Unforgiving and narrow mi...	el-cee	4	326	Sep 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Advice please - healthy boundaries with dramatic friend (Preview) I'm realizing a woman who I started to become friends with may be very dramatic and creating chaos in her own life. I noticed a feeling in myself when we talk sometimes; I'm really trying to do or say what I think she wants me to do or say or what I think will keep her happy with me. It is an old and unhealthy pat...	Taraxacum	4	397	Sep 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	I was doing so well... (Preview) You guys. I completely detached with love from my ex. I got a dog. I got two great job opportunities. I'm getting in shape again. I was getting some distance... And then I relapsed. I actually went to a party, and now I just see the whole alcoholic and co-dependent relationships. A FA ended up talking to m...	OptimisticPi	6	429	Sep 3, 2016 by Jerry F
	And here we go again... (Preview) So I was informed by my ABF today by text that "he needs to stay away for awhile from texting me and calling me on the phone and he's really sorry" - whatever - this is what happens every time after he detoxes and starts talking to his sponsor and going to meetings. He convinces himself (or someone convinc...	jojo8466	5	366	Sep 3, 2016 by Crau
	Need some ESH... (Preview) Hi all. I haven't been around this board in a while but have regularly been attending meetings. Life has been manageable and I have been trying to enjoy the summer with my two boys (12 & 9). Unfortunately the progression of my ex's active addiction is starting to weigh heavily on me. To summari...	Tossed Salad	10	503	Sep 3, 2016 by Tossed Salad
	There might be a perk or two (Preview) Sorry. There are NO perks to alcoholism and its effects on everyone around it. However, I have been able to find a little humor today and that's better than how I used to react. As we all know, every day is a new adventure with our A's. With my AH, it is a different mood most days. He can be quiet and just ca...	El	5	540	Sep 3, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Courge to Change Reading 9-3-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for September 3 speaks about our fantasies and dreams prior to entering Al-Anon. The reading points out that many would often project and state some day I'll do this project or someday I'll call my friend or someday I'll be happy and take that trip. We put off our happiness and are wil...	hotrod	3	309	Sep 3, 2016 by Jill
	Reaching For Personal Freedom (Preview) I just received this workbook and I love it and can not wait to get started. Should I wait until I have a sponsor to start this? There are 4 people in my group that might be potential sponsors for me but I am still having trouble with courage to ask. Thanks!	MarciaP	1	1382	Sep 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cell phones, emails, texts, ugh (Preview) This whole detaching with love thing would be a lot easier if we didn't live in the electronic age of cell phones, emails, texts, face times, facebook etc.......it's hard to stick to your boundaries when the person constantly on your mind is just a push of a button away from contact -	jojo8466	14	475	Sep 3, 2016 by jojo8466
	Is it wrong for my husband to discuss his recovery with me? (Preview) Hi everyone. This is my first time on the forums. I have been attending al anon for the past few months and it has helped me immensely. My husband had been in recovery for 7 months, 3 of these in intense residential rehab, he is now living in supported accommodation and attends aftercare with the same pro...	easterjane	6	358	Sep 3, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Obsession about Husbands Legal issues (Preview) I am going to need to go to TONS of meetings to handle what is going on in my life. I am very ashamed to share this but my ex husband was arrested for some "billing" issue in 2010. we both thought it was a mistake and the government will not let go of it! They will NOT settle and we have a 13 year old son. My hus...	Charlotte22	4	321	Sep 2, 2016 by pinkchip
	Acceptance - P 449 (modified from Big Book) (Preview) Yesterday in our F2F meeting, we were talking about Acceptance. As a double-winner, I have the pleasure of tons of literature from both sides of the table. This popped into my head and I promised to bring it back to the group next week. I've modified it just a bit to remove one line for As - it's conside...	Iamhere	14	3558	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 1 - "We admitted we are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable." The writer suggests that one word describes this step for them - that word is Grief. They had a friend who rapidly progressed through the disease from reasonable health and apparen...	Iamhere	5	342	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Walking away is not easy..... (Preview) I don't understand why somedays I feel so strong and other days so week - I've done really well not contacting him for a couple of days and then last night and this morning I sent texts and called him. UGH. I just make myself a nervous wreck and sick by trying to contact him and then anxious on whether he wi...	jojo8466	15	491	Sep 2, 2016 by alanonfan
	A new member at my home group (Preview) I was at my home group meeting tonight -- great meeting, as it always is. I feel very comfortable there, and I have been wanting to make friends with people from al-anon outside of the meetings, but it has never happened. I've called a couple of people and they never called me back, and I've hung around ho...	e_i_m	5	380	Sep 2, 2016 by tired of it
	Confused and need feedback please (Preview) Hello. This is my first post to this board so please bear with me if I make a mistake or ramble too much. I have been married to my alcoholic husband for 14 years and a total together of 18 years. We have 3 boys ages 13,9, and 3. His drinking progressively became out of control over the last 3 years, coming to a...	abc3613	11	639	Sep 2, 2016 by Jerry F
	Twilight zone (Preview) My AH suggested inviting my mom for dinner Saturday and offered to call. We spent morning and early afternoon apart. He texts me that my mom accepted. Great. I get home, and we talk about dinner with mom. He has red wine stains on his mouth. Off balance. I say I'm going to have a nap. He says he will nap wi...	Mcat54	10	631	Sep 2, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.