Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about our need to belong and to fit in. This need helps us to get along with others and be part of society. However,in attempting to fit in sometimes we tend to people please and abandon ourselves. People pleasing takes a destructive form when we ignore our ow...

Emma123 · Emma123

My alcoholic partner seems to also have a sex addiction. When he's drinking he wants sex all the time. In conversation with anyone he starts talking about it, even when its completely inappropriate. People get embarrassed and uncomfortable. Its very awkward. When he's sober he has very little inte...

MVaslovik · MVaslovik

I was fortunate to finally separate myself from an alcoholic after six years. I became his live-in caregiver having no other options at the time, but as time went on I gained options, ironically because of his own forceful manipulation and pressure on me. He wanted me to get an outside job while also b...

jocelgp · jocelgp

Last night my husband expressed how very hard it is for him, most of his friends are drinking buddies. I could feel his agony of the thought of losing this set of friends. It's as if it's everything to him, he has a very poor family (origin) support system. I know that what worries him most is losing his...

Crau · Crau

We share our stories with others to help gain perspective. I remember when my friends husband went to treatment and she started telling me what her life was like. I was in shock, she was sharing my story. I remember being envious that her husband got to go to treatment and my ex was causing chaos whereeve...

2HP · 2HP

Trying to control had always been my response to fear, distrust, panic, feeling overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. I did not trust in the Higher Power, the universe or the process of life. Instead of trusting, I tried to control everything because I desperately wanted to feel more sec...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I know I have an issue with pride. I think about the times my AW had inappropriate relationships with a coworker and I think about all of those holiday parties and work events and how others must have been snickering about what they knew that I didn't know. I don't even know if that is true or not. I think...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all....Happy Friday to you where ever you maybe! Today's reading continues on with trusting a power greater than ourselves. The reading begins by discussing how our most negative thoughts in the face of all we deal with appear as truth. These negative thoughts plead the worst case sc...

burr1017 · burr1017

With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting...

Chris John · Chris John

Hi all, Last summer vacation was very boring for our kids. They complained about the last vacation. I was little busy during their vacation time. So for the coming December, we planned to go out for a trip to Algonquin Park, Ontario /. There are many thrilling games and activities for the kids. But the t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I don't miss a lot about an alcoholic relationship, and I know myself well enough to know I can be friends with an A. As much as they will allow it however the walls that are so thick when it comes to the disease is sad state. It won't allow closeness it won't allow true intimacy and it won't allow truth int...

joker · joker

Wednesday night I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and I came out of the meeting angry as ever. I was angry at what alcoholism has done to me and other...and the mess we are left to clean up. The next day, I was in a angrier mood. What is going on. Today, I feel back on track. Any feedback would be great!

El · El

Talk about the power of slogans! If they aren't a part of your repertoire yet, really work on putting them into you life! Rather than debate a point to death, (like I would have in the past) now I go to, " How important is it?" OR " Keep it simple." OR " Do I want to be right or be peaceful?" My current favorit...

jocelgp · jocelgp

My trust in my husband is the one greatly and severely damaged in our relationship. Being aware and accepting the reality of alcoholic behaviors, he could just be doing a ploy or manipulation. I have to admit I do doubt his sincerity and honesty even after that heart to heart talk that his drinking is...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I am getting anxious and panicky, I'm a bit trembling. I've been trying to detach from whatever my AH will do next. I have to be honest that I am hoping that he will be true to his intention to not drink anymore, but I also know that there is a big possibility that he will not be able to live up to it. He's a bi...

Emma123 · Emma123

Hi all I'm new to Al Anon. Grew up in an alcoholic family. Father was an alcoholic. Mother was probably codependent. It was a difficult childhood. Left home at 18. Thought I'd overcome childhood. I was always very clear I didn't want to meet a guy who had a drink or drug addiction. Although I dated guys i...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

I've shared my story before so I'll just give a summary of what is relevant. Alcoholic wife who cheated multiple times. She went through rehab a month ago. Lots of trust issues on my part that didn't exist prior to the last 2 or 3 years. I have heard and read how the recovery process is selfish at first....

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about worry, acceptance, obsessing and faith. The quote is from William Shakespeare ---- "Nothing is either good or bad. It's thinking that makes it so." Our Reminder for the day suggests --- "My Higher Power's gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard a...

KT2015 · KT2015

Last night I came home to unexpectedly find my AH drinking. I say unexpectedly because he had been trying to stop drinking during the week for his health and had some success. It took me a few moments of conversation to realize he was drunk. This used to get under my skin like crazy before I would thin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Kakahiaka family....Good Morning (Hilo time). Dogs are walked, coffee made and my literature came out on the table. Its quiet as my wife continues to slumber getting the morning cob webs detached. The messages and guidance of our ODAT, Courage to Change and our Hope for Today are like spi...

CEH · CEH

Well my husband is 22 days sober today and I am not making it easy on him. I was feeling very sorry for myself yesterday and let it all come out on my AH. If you go and read my bio it will explain all that I let out. The day started out upsetting for me and so I sent him an email and he didn't respond. I told him w...

CEH · CEH

I found a meeting in my area, but they only meet on Mondays. I will go next Monday. I can't find a Al-Anonteen meeting in my area only one that is an hour away. My girls are so busy there is no way to get them there. Do any of you have any suggestions on online AnAnonteen supports? I have a 17 year old, 16 ye...

Ceelee · Ceelee

I don't know where else to reach out. The last week or two been horrible. My AH is so bad and I am struggling and so are our kids. My 16 yr old daughter has been struggling with anorexia/ bulimia as well as self mutilation. It all started about 2.5 years ago when I separated from my AH. We found a good dictir th...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

I made the decision to leave my ABF. I've come to terms with the fact that I've probably been headed this way for a while, ever since he got kicked out of school. But I stood by him and tried to make it work. But, I guess I began to resent the fact that I was trying to work two jobs and go back to school while he wou...

PatG1025 · PatG1025

I feel my problem is probably one that is not experienced much by others, but here goes. My alcoholic husband, who was 20 years sober at the time, died 3 years ago. I didn't realize then how much time, effort and energy I spent taking care of him during his last few years of illness (he suffered from cirrho...

seahorselady · seahorselady

Hi all, I talked to my AS person to person for the first time tonight and it was very difficult to hear him crying and expressing his hopelessness. Through it all I was able to listen, acknowledge and support him while also reiterating how it was not mine to fix and that only he had the power to do that for hi...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi There, I was in program for 10 years and then moved to a small canadian city and in the meetings they gossip and cross talk so I am now doing phone meetings but I will try again. Lately, after I had a traumatic event with my ex husband and my 85 year old alcoholic father I was deeply triggered into a Dark...

hope for the hopeless · hope for the hopeless

Hi. My name is Hope. I have been an active AA member for 26 years now. Some of the people at our meetings often talk about "detach with love." My husband is still drinking and making my life miserable. I would love to hear your wisdom of experience, strength and hope of how to deal with him and his drinking a...

CEH · CEH

My story is what I would consider a complicated story. I will start my story with what has happened to bring me to Al-Anon in the present time and then fill in the back story after I have fully explained how my life has turned upside down. On August 19, 2016 I answered the phone at work to hear my husban...

e_i_m · e_i_m

My crazy behavior seeps into many interactions, not just with alcoholics. (Because it's *my* insanity). It's so nice to be able to laugh about it sometimes. I am a host on a home-sharing web site. I was just changing the sheets in anticipation of a new guest and I remembered how my crazy controlling in...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Just wanted to share a little. I notice as time goes on and I live and work my program, nothing is a big deal anymore. Everything is in perspective and manageable. Just going along, living by the Steps, literature etc. Everything falls into place. Yes, even with an active AH in our home. It feels like a m...

CH_Husband_Dad · CH_Husband_Dad

My wife just recently returned from rehab. She is doing well. We have had some issues and they may have been caused by my own insecurities. Anyway, she threw me a birthday party last week. She bought some beer and some wine that she wouldn't have liked for the guests. I had a beer and offered to other...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes AlAnon's spiritual nature, as opposed to a religious one. While we are free to pursue whatever religious concept we prefer on our own, the purpose of AlAnon is to help us create a 'heavenly' oasis from the effects of alcohol in someone we know.The author notes, however, that som...

joker · joker

Just had another insight. I see my part in this and what treatment I have been receiving from my abf. He will sober up for a bit, get a job, stay focused, church, work at a job, give me money from his pay check to pay his bills, (we have our own bills and bank accounts, as we are not legally married), he gives me...

Searchingforpeace · Searchingforpeace

Today was the first time I have been out of the house by myself in three weeks. I spent some time thinking about why I've done this, and I think I've found those answers, what I don't know, is how to stop the cycle. reasons for isolation: fear of what my A's will think, fear of what I will walk into when I get h...

SDB · SDB

So I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of August - the same week that my husband got a job after 2 years of unemployment, mostly due to his drinking. The binges started once a week and then a few times a week. I tried to do my best to focus on myself and stay calm. This week he took Monday off, worked Tu...

a4l · a4l

Yep, that's me. Having a lovely day. I woke up, came out to my kitchen which partner had insisted on cleaning after dinner while I got the kids ready for bed, and discovered there is a huge difference in understanding of " cleaning the kitchen" between us. The old grumble box started in my head of, wtf, if...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I need help understanding where to go from here. My 8 year old doesn't see her dad much my exAH because he doesn't make the effort to see her except some holidays and Summer time. Since moving in with my boyfriend and his 13 year old daughter, he points out her ride behavior. Which is there, but out of guilt...

BlondieSr · BlondieSr

So I've been sober for 10 years with the help and guidance of AA. My husband, who didn't drink much, has now started drinking excessively. He just gets so mean when he drinks and wants to pick fights so that he can hit and break things. I realized the last time that he broke the glass in the coffee table,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone- i apologize for not writing about Hope for Today- I am preparing for a move and although I thought I'd set my books aside this morning at 5 I couldn't find it! So instead of opening up boxes I thought I'd write about one of the verses from just for today: JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust m...

tucker · tucker

I went to my very first ACOA/AlAnon meeting today and boy did I find my group. I am officially declaring myself "in recovery" now. There was a good mix of men & women there, and I heard a lot of good things. I related to just about every one and can see that I have a lot to learn. For now I'm taking it one day...

Freetime · Freetime

I heard this for the first time in my meeting last week, loved it, and wanted to share with all of you: Y - You A - Always H - Have O - Other O - Options Are you stuck on a dilemma? What other options do you have?

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

I am at the breaking point in my relationship. SO has always had a drinking problem. But he was so nice in the beginning and was more reserved about drinking around me. Then I noticed little things. I have never been a heavy drinker. A glass of wine or bottle of beer or mixed drink is about my limit. And I hav...

Detached · Detached

After 20 some years of living in craziness the steps, to me, we're such a beautiful gift that it brings tears to my eyes to know the peace I have just for today! When I first started step 1 I took it to all kind of extremes because I am an "all or nothing" kind of person; there is not a single person in my life no...

Ceelee · Ceelee

Today is going to be tough if I let it be. My AH didn't drink yesterday and went to an AA meeting. You think I would be happy but I'm not. Sometimes I wish he would just keep drinking. He couldn't drink because he didn't have any money or beer. He will have money today. He works alone and can drink all day which...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the 3As : . Awareness, Acceptance and Action.It points out that true change can only happen,when we achieve awareness,move to -acceptance and then we can take action. Attempting to cope with the new awareness can be extremely awkward, as mos...

joker · joker

I noticed this weekend, since a cousin came to stay at my house since last week, that the abf has become snappy toward me, trying to start a fight. She is young, pretty, and sexy. All weekend he was snappy toward me, yesterday was worse after church. First he was nice toward me after church then later on wa...

lookingup · lookingup

hey hey hey everybody so glad to be posting about something takes me a bit to get back in the rythum of it again.so I'm gone from having addicts all around me to having no addicts at all which is a great thing for me,but it's also left me all alone,lonely I keep thinking HALT everyday and it's getting worser...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I've been volunteering at my neighborhood festival this weekend and have had several instances of the gifts of the program that I wanted to share. One of my oldest friends (who is a bit cranky and who could benefit from al-anon, imho), said "boy, you seem really calm" (she knows I'd just broken up with a...

lookingup · lookingup

It seems it's a everyday battle that we as alanoners have to go through fighting this monstrous desease,times I know we all grow tired and weary some trying keep ourselves above water,but yet we still seem to all fall victim,or I know most of us do,I'm greatful for this mip board today to be able to come h...

Stepdad · Stepdad

Hello everyone. I am new to all of this. My stepdaughter went into rehab three weeks ago and should be coming home in about three more weeks. Honestly I am scared to death for her. We are trying to all we can to get things in place to support her but I am still terrified that she will go back to sinking and usin...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hello all, had been enjoying a pleasant, calm Sunday morning with AH. Getting along well, me in and enjoying Al-anon mode. Then in an instant, a mood swing happens in him. Quite a surprise, useful wake up call for me to witness just how unwell he is. Turned from pleasant to dark faced and snarling in a se...

Zoe197979 · Zoe197979

Hi I've never been on something like this before but I cant take anymore. My husband has had a drink problem for 15 years however 5 years ago he started adding cocaine to the mix. We have had many arguments which resulted in him walking out on me on Thursday to go to the pub rather than try and work out his mar...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 11 (a difficult day for me) speaks about working the Fourth Step and making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. The reading suggests that many times while we are working the Fourth Step, we will uncover hidden destructive attitudes that we did not r...

Crau · Crau

The word we all need and all have lost I assume along the way. I often think about trust and how it can be repaired with some and lost forever with others. does working our own program help in turn for us to accept, forgive and untimely build back trust with our qualifiers? should trust always be rebui...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

UGH!!!!! So I'm driving home from work and here comes ex ABF in his truck! The road that he takes to his house out in the country goes right by the building I work in. I see his truck from a distance and I'm thinking "Dear God PLEASE DO NOT let that be him!!!" Then I see it's him and I say a cuss word out loud i...

lookingup · lookingup

I don't know where to begin with this story it's something I've been holding back on all my life without any help of what to do with it,so I thought sharing my story with you all might help maybe I can get closure with it ,making a long story short ,I as a young child 4 or 5 years old ,there was 2 teenage boys liv...

Ejskoolaide · Ejskoolaide

My AH is currently in a 30 day inpatient rehab. They wont let me talk to him or see him except for 1 family group session after his 22 day. Then tbe following week he gets out. I saw him in the parking lot yesterday talking with other women. He waved at me and i waved back. I am very fearful that he will meet some...

jocelgp · jocelgp

I'm having trouble with acceptance. I cannot accept his rudeness, his sarcasm, I don't think I should be treated this way. I know this is gonna happen, I learned that this is going to be the behavior even when he promises not to drink or if ever he will not be able to keep up with his promise. How can I sur...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Well...not surprisingly, there are nonrecovering alcoholics in my family. I wrote in another thread months ago that I have a medication refusing bipolar active alcoholic first cousin that continues to come around my elderly parents with his hand held out. There is a long history with him. His fath...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 9-17-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 17 speaks about our need to belong and to fit in. This need helps us to get along with others and be part of society. However,in attempting to fit in sometimes we tend to people please and abandon ourselves. People pleasing takes a destructive form when we ignore our ow...	hotrod	1	675	Sep 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sex addiction too (Preview) My alcoholic partner seems to also have a sex addiction. When he's drinking he wants sex all the time. In conversation with anyone he starts talking about it, even when its completely inappropriate. People get embarrassed and uncomfortable. Its very awkward. When he's sober he has very little inte...	Emma123	22	893	Sep 17, 2016 by jitsuka
	Getting free of him (Preview) I was fortunate to finally separate myself from an alcoholic after six years. I became his live-in caregiver having no other options at the time, but as time went on I gained options, ironically because of his own forceful manipulation and pressure on me. He wanted me to get an outside job while also b...	MVaslovik	17	898	Sep 17, 2016 by el-cee
	so true it's harder and behavior is worse than when he was actively drinking (Preview) Last night my husband expressed how very hard it is for him, most of his friends are drinking buddies. I could feel his agony of the thought of losing this set of friends. It's as if it's everything to him, he has a very poor family (origin) support system. I know that what worries him most is losing his...	jocelgp	2	647	Sep 16, 2016 by Jerry F
	Filtering who I share my story with... (Preview) We share our stories with others to help gain perspective. I remember when my friends husband went to treatment and she started telling me what her life was like. I was in shock, she was sharing my story. I remember being envious that her husband got to go to treatment and my ex was causing chaos whereeve...	Crau	2	558	Sep 16, 2016 by hotrod
	CONTROLLING VS. TRUST (Preview) Trying to control had always been my response to fear, distrust, panic, feeling overwhelmed, and feelings of helplessness. I did not trust in the Higher Power, the universe or the process of life. Instead of trusting, I tried to control everything because I desperately wanted to feel more sec...	2HP	8	709	Sep 16, 2016 by Ann_M_Y
	Dealing with pride (Preview) I know I have an issue with pride. I think about the times my AW had inappropriate relationships with a coworker and I think about all of those holiday parties and work events and how others must have been snickering about what they knew that I didn't know. I don't even know if that is true or not. I think...	CH_Husband_Dad	9	1197	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/16/16 (Preview) Good morning all....Happy Friday to you where ever you maybe! Today's reading continues on with trusting a power greater than ourselves. The reading begins by discussing how our most negative thoughts in the face of all we deal with appear as truth. These negative thoughts plead the worst case sc...	Iamhere	5	694	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al Anon :) So much clarity after my first meeting (Preview) With the encouragement and support of some good friends, I attended my first Al Anon meeting last night. I felt the speaker's topic, Communication, was helpful to me, as frequently I have a difficult time with that; communication not only with others, but also with myself. But the rest of the meeting...	burr1017	5	725	Sep 16, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Tripping with alcoholic hubby (Preview) Hi all, Last summer vacation was very boring for our kids. They complained about the last vacation. I was little busy during their vacation time. So for the coming December, we planned to go out for a trip to Algonquin Park, Ontario /. There are many thrilling games and activities for the kids. But the t...	Chris John	4	768	Sep 16, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	What I don't miss .. (Preview) I don't miss a lot about an alcoholic relationship, and I know myself well enough to know I can be friends with an A. As much as they will allow it however the walls that are so thick when it comes to the disease is sad state. It won't allow closeness it won't allow true intimacy and it won't allow truth int...	SerenityRUS	12	1122	Sep 16, 2016 by Green Eyes
	Anger (Preview) Wednesday night I went to a face to face al-anon meeting and I came out of the meeting angry as ever. I was angry at what alcoholism has done to me and other...and the mess we are left to clean up. The next day, I was in a angrier mood. What is going on. Today, I feel back on track. Any feedback would be great!	joker	7	644	Sep 16, 2016 by Mirandac
	Slogan-ology (Preview) Talk about the power of slogans! If they aren't a part of your repertoire yet, really work on putting them into you life! Rather than debate a point to death, (like I would have in the past) now I go to, " How important is it?" OR " Keep it simple." OR " Do I want to be right or be peaceful?" My current favorit...	El	4	742	Sep 16, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Rebuilding TRUST (Preview) My trust in my husband is the one greatly and severely damaged in our relationship. Being aware and accepting the reality of alcoholic behaviors, he could just be doing a ploy or manipulation. I have to admit I do doubt his sincerity and honesty even after that heart to heart talk that his drinking is...	jocelgp	4	1028	Sep 16, 2016 by hotrod
	pls help me process what I'm going thru right now (Preview) I am getting anxious and panicky, I'm a bit trembling. I've been trying to detach from whatever my AH will do next. I have to be honest that I am hoping that he will be true to his intention to not drink anymore, but I also know that there is a big possibility that he will not be able to live up to it. He's a bi...	jocelgp	30	987	Sep 16, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) Hi all I'm new to Al Anon. Grew up in an alcoholic family. Father was an alcoholic. Mother was probably codependent. It was a difficult childhood. Left home at 18. Thought I'd overcome childhood. I was always very clear I didn't want to meet a guy who had a drink or drug addiction. Although I dated guys i...	Emma123	8	610	Sep 16, 2016 by Emma123
	I don't know if I can accept the selfishness of recovery (Preview) I've shared my story before so I'll just give a summary of what is relevant. Alcoholic wife who cheated multiple times. She went through rehab a month ago. Lots of trust issues on my part that didn't exist prior to the last 2 or 3 years. I have heard and read how the recovery process is selfish at first....	CH_Husband_Dad	23	978	Sep 16, 2016 by milkwood
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/15/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about worry, acceptance, obsessing and faith. The quote is from William Shakespeare ---- "Nothing is either good or bad. It's thinking that makes it so." Our Reminder for the day suggests --- "My Higher Power's gifts sometimes take unusual forms. Perhaps something I regard a...	Iamhere	8	618	Sep 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Feeling more peaceful (Preview) Last night I came home to unexpectedly find my AH drinking. I say unexpectedly because he had been trying to stop drinking during the week for his health and had some success. It took me a few moments of conversation to realize he was drunk. This used to get under my skin like crazy before I would thin...	KT2015	13	869	Sep 15, 2016 by MidnightOwl
	a cup of coffee with our literature (Preview) Aloha Kakahiaka family....Good Morning (Hilo time). Dogs are walked, coffee made and my literature came out on the table. Its quiet as my wife continues to slumber getting the morning cob webs detached. The messages and guidance of our ODAT, Courage to Change and our Hope for Today are like spi...	Jerry F	5	958	Sep 15, 2016 by KT2015
	I have had better days. (Preview) Well my husband is 22 days sober today and I am not making it easy on him. I was feeling very sorry for myself yesterday and let it all come out on my AH. If you go and read my bio it will explain all that I let out. The day started out upsetting for me and so I sent him an email and he didn't respond. I told him w...	CEH	23	1146	Sep 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Al-Anon Teen Meetings (Preview) I found a meeting in my area, but they only meet on Mondays. I will go next Monday. I can't find a Al-Anonteen meeting in my area only one that is an hour away. My girls are so busy there is no way to get them there. Do any of you have any suggestions on online AnAnonteen supports? I have a 17 year old, 16 ye...	CEH	9	1056	Sep 15, 2016 by CEH
	Taking my daughter to a treatment center for an eating disorder (Preview) I don't know where else to reach out. The last week or two been horrible. My AH is so bad and I am struggling and so are our kids. My 16 yr old daughter has been struggling with anorexia/ bulimia as well as self mutilation. It all started about 2.5 years ago when I separated from my AH. We found a good dictir th...	Ceelee	10	1277	Sep 15, 2016 by Ceelee
	Am I making the right call (Preview) I made the decision to leave my ABF. I've come to terms with the fact that I've probably been headed this way for a while, ever since he got kicked out of school. But I stood by him and tried to make it work. But, I guess I began to resent the fact that I was trying to work two jobs and go back to school while he wou...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	6	817	Sep 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Life After (Preview) I feel my problem is probably one that is not experienced much by others, but here goes. My alcoholic husband, who was 20 years sober at the time, died 3 years ago. I didn't realize then how much time, effort and energy I spent taking care of him during his last few years of illness (he suffered from cirrho...	PatG1025	10	1500	Sep 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	first time is the hardest (Preview) Hi all, I talked to my AS person to person for the first time tonight and it was very difficult to hear him crying and expressing his hopelessness. Through it all I was able to listen, acknowledge and support him while also reiterating how it was not mine to fix and that only he had the power to do that for hi...	seahorselady	13	781	Sep 15, 2016 by Jerry F
	Has Anyone Experienced a Dark Night of the Soul - Al Anon Help! (Preview) Hi There, I was in program for 10 years and then moved to a small canadian city and in the meetings they gossip and cross talk so I am now doing phone meetings but I will try again. Lately, after I had a traumatic event with my ex husband and my 85 year old alcoholic father I was deeply triggered into a Dark...	Charlotte22	10	845	Sep 15, 2016 by milkwood
	Al-anon wisdom (Preview) Hi. My name is Hope. I have been an active AA member for 26 years now. Some of the people at our meetings often talk about "detach with love." My husband is still drinking and making my life miserable. I would love to hear your wisdom of experience, strength and hope of how to deal with him and his drinking a...	hope for the hopeless	2	773	Sep 14, 2016 by hotrod
	I am new Al-Anon I am embarrassed to say "anger" has brought me here. (Preview) My story is what I would consider a complicated story. I will start my story with what has happened to bring me to Al-Anon in the present time and then fill in the back story after I have fully explained how my life has turned upside down. On August 19, 2016 I answered the phone at work to hear my husban...	CEH	19	1212	Sep 14, 2016 by CEH
	A little ESH (funny/crazy) (Preview) My crazy behavior seeps into many interactions, not just with alcoholics. (Because it's my insanity). It's so nice to be able to laugh about it sometimes. I am a host on a home-sharing web site. I was just changing the sheets in anticipation of a new guest and I remembered how my crazy controlling in...	e_i_m	2	558	Sep 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Moving forward (Preview) Just wanted to share a little. I notice as time goes on and I live and work my program, nothing is a big deal anymore. Everything is in perspective and manageable. Just going along, living by the Steps, literature etc. Everything falls into place. Yes, even with an active AH in our home. It feels like a m...	Calm Lady	5	492	Sep 14, 2016 by Ceelee
	Should I refrain from drinking? (Preview) My wife just recently returned from rehab. She is doing well. We have had some issues and they may have been caused by my own insecurities. Anyway, she threw me a birthday party last week. She bought some beer and some wine that she wouldn't have liked for the guests. I had a beer and offered to other...	CH_Husband_Dad	18	951	Sep 14, 2016 by CH_Husband_Dad
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) 9-14-16 What About Religion? (Preview) Today's reading notes AlAnon's spiritual nature, as opposed to a religious one. While we are free to pursue whatever religious concept we prefer on our own, the purpose of AlAnon is to help us create a 'heavenly' oasis from the effects of alcohol in someone we know.The author notes, however, that som...	Enigmatic	5	611	Sep 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	seeing cycle (Preview) Just had another insight. I see my part in this and what treatment I have been receiving from my abf. He will sober up for a bit, get a job, stay focused, church, work at a job, give me money from his pay check to pay his bills, (we have our own bills and bank accounts, as we are not legally married), he gives me...	joker	11	670	Sep 14, 2016 by 2HP
	Isolation (Preview) Today was the first time I have been out of the house by myself in three weeks. I spent some time thinking about why I've done this, and I think I've found those answers, what I don't know, is how to stop the cycle. reasons for isolation: fear of what my A's will think, fear of what I will walk into when I get h...	Searchingforpeace	7	710	Sep 14, 2016 by geems
	Two months pregnant and husband actively drinking again (Preview) So I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of August - the same week that my husband got a job after 2 years of unemployment, mostly due to his drinking. The binges started once a week and then a few times a week. I tried to do my best to focus on myself and stay calm. This week he took Monday off, worked Tu...	SDB	35	995	Sep 14, 2016 by milkwood
	having a lovely day (Preview) Yep, that's me. Having a lovely day. I woke up, came out to my kitchen which partner had insisted on cleaning after dinner while I got the kids ready for bed, and discovered there is a huge difference in understanding of " cleaning the kitchen" between us. The old grumble box started in my head of, wtf, if...	a4l	9	680	Sep 13, 2016 by KT2015
	My 8 year old is being rude now (Preview) I need help understanding where to go from here. My 8 year old doesn't see her dad much my exAH because he doesn't make the effort to see her except some holidays and Summer time. Since moving in with my boyfriend and his 13 year old daughter, he points out her ride behavior. Which is there, but out of guilt...	Breakingfree	8	758	Sep 13, 2016 by tiredtonite
	First time here (Preview) So I've been sober for 10 years with the help and guidance of AA. My husband, who didn't drink much, has now started drinking excessively. He just gets so mean when he drinks and wants to pick fights so that he can hit and break things. I realized the last time that he broke the glass in the coffee table,...	BlondieSr	7	674	Sep 13, 2016 by BlondieSr
	Just for Today (Preview) good morning everyone- i apologize for not writing about Hope for Today- I am preparing for a move and although I thought I'd set my books aside this morning at 5 I couldn't find it! So instead of opening up boxes I thought I'd write about one of the verses from just for today: JUST FOR TODAY I will adjust m...	yanksfan51	4	707	Sep 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	My first ACOA/AlAnon Meeting meetings ACOA (Preview) I went to my very first ACOA/AlAnon meeting today and boy did I find my group. I am officially declaring myself "in recovery" now. There was a good mix of men & women there, and I heard a lot of good things. I related to just about every one and can see that I have a lot to learn. For now I'm taking it one day...	tucker	6	7712	Sep 13, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Yahoo (Preview) I heard this for the first time in my meeting last week, loved it, and wanted to share with all of you: Y - You A - Always H - Have O - Other O - Options Are you stuck on a dilemma? What other options do you have?	Freetime	4	678	Sep 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Is this normal? (Preview) I am at the breaking point in my relationship. SO has always had a drinking problem. But he was so nice in the beginning and was more reserved about drinking around me. Then I noticed little things. I have never been a heavy drinker. A glass of wine or bottle of beer or mixed drink is about my limit. And I hav...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	7	547	Sep 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Step 1 Extremes (Preview) After 20 some years of living in craziness the steps, to me, we're such a beautiful gift that it brings tears to my eyes to know the peace I have just for today! When I first started step 1 I took it to all kind of extremes because I am an "all or nothing" kind of person; there is not a single person in my life no...	Detached	5	541	Sep 12, 2016 by tucker
	So the battle begins (Preview) Today is going to be tough if I let it be. My AH didn't drink yesterday and went to an AA meeting. You think I would be happy but I'm not. Sometimes I wish he would just keep drinking. He couldn't drink because he didn't have any money or beer. He will have money today. He works alone and can drink all day which...	Ceelee	7	593	Sep 12, 2016 by Ceelee
	Courage to Change Reading 9-12-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 12 speaks about the 3As : . Awareness, Acceptance and Action.It points out that true change can only happen,when we achieve awareness,move to -acceptance and then we can take action. Attempting to cope with the new awareness can be extremely awkward, as mos...	hotrod	2	1108	Sep 12, 2016 by El
	QTP (Preview) I noticed this weekend, since a cousin came to stay at my house since last week, that the abf has become snappy toward me, trying to start a fight. She is young, pretty, and sexy. All weekend he was snappy toward me, yesterday was worse after church. First he was nice toward me after church then later on wa...	joker	2	511	Sep 12, 2016 by 2HP
	Transitioning and balance (Preview) hey hey hey everybody so glad to be posting about something takes me a bit to get back in the rythum of it again.so I'm gone from having addicts all around me to having no addicts at all which is a great thing for me,but it's also left me all alone,lonely I keep thinking HALT everyday and it's getting worser...	lookingup	7	801	Sep 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Recovery (Preview) I've been volunteering at my neighborhood festival this weekend and have had several instances of the gifts of the program that I wanted to share. One of my oldest friends (who is a bit cranky and who could benefit from al-anon, imho), said "boy, you seem really calm" (she knows I'd just broken up with a...	e_i_m	6	590	Sep 12, 2016 by el-cee
	Every day battles with this desease (Preview) It seems it's a everyday battle that we as alanoners have to go through fighting this monstrous desease,times I know we all grow tired and weary some trying keep ourselves above water,but yet we still seem to all fall victim,or I know most of us do,I'm greatful for this mip board today to be able to come h...	lookingup	2	535	Sep 12, 2016 by Calm Lady
	scared about child coming home from rehab (Preview) Hello everyone. I am new to all of this. My stepdaughter went into rehab three weeks ago and should be coming home in about three more weeks. Honestly I am scared to death for her. We are trying to all we can to get things in place to support her but I am still terrified that she will go back to sinking and usin...	Stepdad	15	806	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sunday morning (Preview) Hello all, had been enjoying a pleasant, calm Sunday morning with AH. Getting along well, me in and enjoying Al-anon mode. Then in an instant, a mood swing happens in him. Quite a surprise, useful wake up call for me to witness just how unwell he is. Turned from pleasant to dark faced and snarling in a se...	Calm Lady	2	580	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here (Preview) Hi I've never been on something like this before but I cant take anymore. My husband has had a drink problem for 15 years however 5 years ago he started adding cocaine to the mix. We have had many arguments which resulted in him walking out on me on Thursday to go to the pub rather than try and work out his mar...	Zoe197979	14	714	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change Reading 9-11-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 11 (a difficult day for me) speaks about working the Fourth Step and making a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. The reading suggests that many times while we are working the Fourth Step, we will uncover hidden destructive attitudes that we did not r...	hotrod	2	570	Sep 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trust (Preview) The word we all need and all have lost I assume along the way. I often think about trust and how it can be repaired with some and lost forever with others. does working our own program help in turn for us to accept, forgive and untimely build back trust with our qualifiers? should trust always be rebui...	Crau	8	1036	Sep 11, 2016 by Ceelee
	Seriously God??!!!!????!!!! (Preview) UGH!!!!! So I'm driving home from work and here comes ex ABF in his truck! The road that he takes to his house out in the country goes right by the building I work in. I see his truck from a distance and I'm thinking "Dear God PLEASE DO NOT let that be him!!!" Then I see it's him and I say a cuss word out loud i...	jojo8466	28	1035	Sep 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Shame,sadness and anger (Preview) I don't know where to begin with this story it's something I've been holding back on all my life without any help of what to do with it,so I thought sharing my story with you all might help maybe I can get closure with it ,making a long story short ,I as a young child 4 or 5 years old ,there was 2 teenage boys liv...	lookingup	20	686	Sep 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Please help...need positive thoughts (Preview) My AH is currently in a 30 day inpatient rehab. They wont let me talk to him or see him except for 1 family group session after his 22 day. Then tbe following week he gets out. I saw him in the parking lot yesterday talking with other women. He waved at me and i waved back. I am very fearful that he will meet some...	Ejskoolaide	10	810	Sep 11, 2016 by Doingmybest
	trouble with acceptance (Preview) I'm having trouble with acceptance. I cannot accept his rudeness, his sarcasm, I don't think I should be treated this way. I know this is gonna happen, I learned that this is going to be the behavior even when he promises not to drink or if ever he will not be able to keep up with his promise. How can I sur...	jocelgp	15	980	Sep 11, 2016 by Doingmybest
	Family Drama (Preview) Well...not surprisingly, there are nonrecovering alcoholics in my family. I wrote in another thread months ago that I have a medication refusing bipolar active alcoholic first cousin that continues to come around my elderly parents with his hand held out. There is a long history with him. His fath...	pinkchip	10	700	Sep 10, 2016 by lookingup
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.