Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MissT · MissT

Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell.... i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year o...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

Today I got a text my ex ABF saying that he had gathered some of my stuff for me and that if I wanted to come grab it before he got home from work I could. He had told me a week ago that he did not want to be at the house when I came by as he was not ready to see me. I was hurt at first but I realize its better for the both o...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

My aBF is home from rehab now for 2 weeks..he has started drinking, but not to the excess he was. Thinks he can be one of those alcoholics who can control it.,well I think he woU of be the first! He told me, I went to rehab because of my physical addictions..and I'm ok now..he really believes he's good to go....

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

As it was suggested in my last post, all was revealed. I found the stash - 15 bottles behind a wall, in the very closet whose door opening/closing I was having issues with. Fifteen bottles, all empty. I have a baseline. If more show up, I have my answer, and I'll know the truth. While that's comfortin...

misterpiko · misterpiko

Do you consider it enabling if my husband uses any money that isn't for basic necessities to pay off drug debts? He has racked up huge credit card debts (in his name, thank God) and doesn't spend any money on anything but the bare minimum for our family, in my opinion. I do get to keep the baby bonus (I am a st...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

my boyfriend is two weeks out of rehab, he came home just now and told me he had two drinks at the bar..I suspect it's more. He kept saying I'm sorry ur disappointed, but I'm just not going to be one of those guys who never drinks again. I said I'm disappointed for u, not me. He seemed like he wanted to pick a fi...

stephaniestorti · stephaniestorti

My name is Stephanie. I'm 24 years old, and the past 5 months have been some of the best and worse of my life. I met my husband while he graduated from rehab, and only two short months later we were married. He was doing amazing when I met him. Just about 8 months sober! He has done many different types of drug...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I am struggling about where to draw a boundary. My brother's family 3 kids and ex wife expect me to come and help my brother who is dying from alcoholism. BUTTT they were never there for me, my mom, dad or uncles. I took care of my dad, mom and I helped my uncles and aunts before they passed away. I visite...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I feel like I am making a shift. At first I was trying things out - I went to one meeting, read one book, I decided to run one 5k race, I tried some new strategies with people in my life - setting healthy boundaries and reaching out for connection. All low risk "experiments" It has all been so positive, and...

Sandy408 · Sandy408

Good evening to all! So, I just wanted to talk on the topic of honesty. ... I had an incident recently with my sister (alcoholic in denial). She recently had her daughter move back in with her after living with her father for over a year. My sister was so used to it just being herself and her son (who's 10...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 6 reflects on Step Five," admitting to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." The reading asks the question" what is the exact nature of our wrongs " is it the embarrassing moment or the word spoken or our dishonesty. It suggests that "...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Today I woke up and filled out some applications online and updated my resume. I fed my 3 year old and I a bagel and fruit for breakfast and I went out to finish the my raking in the backyard and last time I forgot my gloves and had gotten blisters. So I grabbed my gloves and got to work. I finished and felt dir...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I plan on telling people that truth of what happened to our family, if they ask. A councilor says this is a terrible legacy of shame. There's a little something wrong with that idea.

kspec85 · kspec85

I desperately need some contacts to talk to. I have not yet found a home group. My closest friend is only mildly acquainted with Al Anon and I really really need someone in a mini sponsor capacity. If any old timers have it laid on their heart to help me out. Please PM your number and convenient contact tim...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c speaks of the fact that our motivation for doing something can be far more important than the action itself. As an example, it talks about speaking up when we are bothered by something. We might use the exact same words and yet if our motivation is to manipulate or change another person's beh...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I went to a meeting this morning that focused on Step 6 (Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character). We read some pages out of C2C and from Paths to Recovery (workbook). As is so often the case, this was a really pertinent topic for me. One of the readings talked about the author wor...

joker · joker

I have been thinking about my relationship with my ABF and I am seeing how he is so disrespectful toward me. He is angry all the time, as he is dry drunk, complains constantly about me not working-I am off work due to sickness and scheduled for day surgery on Monday. I see he has no compassion toward my illn...

gracekt · gracekt

I am in desperate need of enlightenment from anyone who is willing to share. I married a beautiful man a little over 2 years ago. He is in AA and loves to help people. (Part of why I love him so much) He had been sober for 3 years when I met him and spent many hours a day on the phone with various sponsees. He shar...

vvv · vvv

I wrote a little earlier about my ex abf and it's still going on. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not...I try not to talk to him when he is drunk because he never remembers what he says and he says the most hurtful, scary things. I also try not to text him either when he is drinking, because the...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My brother somehow found my info on this page and my posts were forwarded to my family. I know this is a risk we run in posting online. I don't regret seeking help, I never will. But I'm incredibly hurt that my personal business was used as a way to cause more drama in my family. Any advice would help here.

sarahGee · sarahGee

I've got myself stumped. I can not for the life of me figure out why I am missing my ex so much. HP has been doing his thing and putting little nuggets in front of me to remind me why what I'm doing is the right thing. I came across an old text message exchange with a few friends. My ex had convinced me he had no mo...

JRR · JRR

Hello, I was formerly married to a classic/obvious alcoholic so I know I have issues with that. My problem is, four years ago I entered a relationship with a man who is stable, treats me like a queen, hardworking, and giving to others so his drinking wasn't obvious at first. He drinks a lot but doesn't h...

kspec85 · kspec85

I'm really trying so hard not to be critical of myself. My alcoholic fiance was arrested a couple days ago for slashing my tires. He has literally called me 45 times over the last two days. Crying and telling me that he so sorry and all he wants is our family back. Today I answered a call from him at lunch,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family. Today's reading is about acceptance. It's a great one for reflection and I have it earmarked, so read it often. Unpleasant realities are a part of life. While we may wish to avoid disappointments, we come to realize the only way to have serenity is to become willing to accep...

LizzieAmanda · LizzieAmanda

Hi everyone. I'm engaged to an alcoholic who hasn't drank in the year and a half that I have known him. We have been in an argument for about a day or so and I found him tonight on our apartment rooftop lounge drinking and very upset. I finally got him to come back down to our apartment. I didn't know what to do...

jml2424 · jml2424

hello. i'm very new to al-anon, but grateful i've found this organization. i went to my 6th meeting today. afterwards, a woman beside me started to chit chat with me. she started off friendly and welcomed me to the group, but then started asking personal questions. she asked my profession and i said i h...

e_i_m · e_i_m

At my wonderful home group meeting tonight, a member shared something that someone else shared with him (he is in recovery from cancer, and this came from a fellow cancer survivor): "eat the cake, take the trip, buy the shoes" -- meaning, he said, "care for yourself extravagantly because no one else w...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My ex sister in law called trying to get me to fix this. She's also an Alcoholic and played a role in creating this mess. I told her don't call me. Don't talk to me. Alcoholic brother is being taken care of. He actually called me from rehab center. He saw a priest, he had asked me for one a few weeks ago. G...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I didn't know my brother was using alcohol. He hid it from us. He lives in another town and would call me daily, but he wouldn't allow me to go see him. He would call and cancel all the time at last minute. The last time he came to visit my mom was 4 years ago. I saw him 1 year ago and he looked okay. I am not use...

DavidG · DavidG

My old sponsor quit Alanon a few years ago... ah decided that i wanted to remain a lifetime member. I have joined another fellowship, one that grew out of Alanon, AA and Alateen. This is a new fellowship- which one day, in years to come, I hope will join the family of 12 step groups. I have done the steps o...

Sportgear · Sportgear

There are many sponsors who tell there sponsees to separate completely from their loved one to put their own interest before the alcoholics needs. This is ONLY true when the alcoholic is ruining your life and not meant to destroy the relationship. So many are taking this way too far. MY brother never a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading today talks about the gift, joy and need for sponsorship. Most of us have a huge need to be heard when we first arrive. Al-Anon provides a safe place to share and we often crave this as well as the attention. While the newcomer is critically important to the meeting, the well-being of the g...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

went for routine checkup, all is well. However my doctor who is a orthodox jew and knows im jewish,starts telling me things. He says, dont u know hp is watching over u and you are not alone even though u feel alone sometimes ? Then he says, i recomend u buy a mezuzah[which is a decorative item filled with pr...

Fooled · Fooled

Ever since the incident with the money taken out of my wallet I have been a little stuck, I guess. I don't know what to call it, I cant really describe it.... I know Im a little off kilter since the 9 month infant foster child of my neighbors that I babysit is currently in a hospital on a ventilator and in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

So all I really have to post is !last night I got a call. It was from the office who I am seeing from medical. She said my A1C was low enough that I don't have diabetes. My dad had it & my husband had it so you can only imagine how nervous I was. Anyhow I am grateful that I am doing OK.

sarahGee · sarahGee

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT dating or seeking a relationship - I know I'm no where near ready to identify a good man, or be a good partner to one. I have an art gallery. There is a gentleman that comes in once in a while to look around. I learned later that he does so because he enjoys my company more t...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I am so scared... I really thought there was some hope. They are going to give him this medication to get ammonia out of his brain. If it works, he's going home to die. Hospice has been called. OMG I never thought I would see this.

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My husband and two kids and my elderly mom are all I have now. My brother and his family are gone. How do I cope with this?

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Step 2 was once paraphrased as: "First I came, then I "came to", then I came to believe." Today's reading contains a description of how the program works for some, particularly Step 2. No miracles necessary initially, just get to a meeting, involve yourself, look for and ask for guidance, and remain o...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I'm having a hard time today keeping thoughts and conversations surrounding my ex ABF away. I got a call today from one of his friends checking to see if I had heard from him. Although I would have liked to just ignored the call I did not. I knew why he would have been calling as soon as I got the call as that's...

milkwood · milkwood

The past week has been challenging here in Italy with powerful earthquakes and a lot of disruption for thousands of people in our neighbourhood. Apparently we have had 700 aftershocks in the past two days alone, and I would guess that about half of those are felt. They are instant reminders of the thr...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

My bf is home from rehab and is doing well. He seems to have accepted aa and all it is he must continue to do, which for him, is amazing. When he went in he was so against the whole idea of aa, the "cult" aspect and the references to god etc. but he is going to his meetings, doing his outpatient therapy, meditat...

LinSC · LinSC

Not quite sure. I have probably experienced it, but couldnt put a name to it. thanks linsc

Bananasandcustard · Bananasandcustard

Hi, I am a mum of 5. My mum and dad died when I was younger. My mum was an alcoholic. I have a drinking problem. Help! Need someone to talk to

Fooled · Fooled

Need some ESH for being Gaslighted. On the way to church yesterday my RAH saw me frantically searching through my wallet for my cash for the envelope. It wasn't there! I tore apart my pocketbook, looked in every nook and cranny of my hiding spots. Not there! I announced to him that my money wa...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH says he has nothing to hide and all I ever had to do was ask. He shares the password for his laptop. Of course his emails received were deleted but the sent mails were not. He emailing to meet women before and during rehab. One he even asked if he could meet her the same night. This man just said to me on the p...

joker · joker

I am still so numb and angry. The AFB went and got drunk. Expected that. He was sober for 3 months. He just went and got drunk Saterday night. Then he phoned his ex-wife who was happy to pick him up and he was gone all night till 8 am with her. I am numb and angry that he would just take off with his ex-wife and spe...

sarahGee · sarahGee

We are non denominational - - But who doesn't love puppies in costume. This is my 15 week old American Bulldog puppy, Dottie. -- Edited by sarahGee on Monday 31st of October 2016 11:31:16 PM

Cammi45 · Cammi45

Hello. A while ago some wonderful people posted about literature that may be helpful to me. I wrote down the names of those books, but I wanted some advice on maybe one good one in particular to start with. One, How Alanon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, stood out to me. Would this one...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- and thank you for all the well wishes regarding my move. We are starting to get settled and the whole house is calming down after a stressful end-of-summer and fall!! This reading is about how it may be possible to hear what is difficult for us to hear directly from family member...

Tinyhouse · Tinyhouse

I posted once before, in July when I was hoping things with my husband of 20 years would be fixed. Well, they didn't change and in August I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt pushed into it by him. Even after moving, I still hoped for him to "get it" and make changes. Instead, he continued drinking, sta...

lookingup · lookingup

Being careing ,having compassion for a loved one are great assets to have within us,it's when my careing and compassion goes over board to the extremes of putting me in harms way that also builds resentments in me towards my qaulifiers, ive never been able to not take it to the extremes of how to just be...

Emma123 · Emma123

Recently I have developed a crush on a man I know. The intensity of this infatuation has taken me by surprise. Didn't expect to feel like this again. I'm still living with ah partner so its highly unlikely anything can happen with this man, even if he was interested. I find myself spending too much time...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I had my first al-anon meeting last night - I found it hard to control my emotions & found myself tearfully explaining my situation to a group of people I had only just met. I don't even think I articulated it very well as I was sobbing. I feel embarrassed now & scared to go back. I could just pictur...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

So, one is white knuckling semi-sobriety. Refuses meetings after going to one a week ago. Still smoking pot, but very little. The other twin has his first pre-trial probation check tomorrow and he's AWOL. Left the house today at 2pm and no one has seen him since. He is with a friend and the friend has bee...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I was told in my f2f meetings that I should do my fourth step with a sponsor. I don't have a sponsor, and I don't think I'll have one for a long while because I can only get to meetings once a week. It's difficult to get to know people in such a large group, with only an hour to engage and short snippits of thoug...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My brother has terminal cirrhosis or so they tell me. When I spoke to doctor, she said she didn't know how bad it was only time would tell. He might eventually need liver transplant. One of my relatives said: you should give your brother a living donor liver transplant from yourself. After everythi...

Dis-Ease91 · Dis-Ease91

Hello, I hope it is okay I am posting this. I am a recovering alcoholic with 2 children and a wife who has been going through the good, bad and worse for a long time. I have been a freight train that has moved through her life and my children's life destroying anything that would resemble stability. I have b...

sarahGee · sarahGee

It is so true. Turning to Al Anon, weather it's your CAL, listening to conference talks, going to a meeting or reaching out to others in the program, does help center you. I'm having a really difficult day. No details necessary. I was feeling down almost to the point of tears & something clicked i...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so mu...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Finally getting the guts to help myself (Preview) Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell.... i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year o...	MissT	3	405	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Little steps can be big (Preview) Today I got a text my ex ABF saying that he had gathered some of my stuff for me and that if I wanted to come grab it before he got home from work I could. He had told me a week ago that he did not want to be at the house when I came by as he was not ready to see me. I was hurt at first but I realize its better for the both o...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	370	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	"Physically" cured? (Preview) My aBF is home from rehab now for 2 weeks..he has started drinking, but not to the excess he was. Thinks he can be one of those alcoholics who can control it.,well I think he woU of be the first! He told me, I went to rehab because of my physical addictions..and I'm ok now..he really believes he's good to go....	Desperateinnyc	3	561	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	I found it (Preview) As it was suggested in my last post, all was revealed. I found the stash - 15 bottles behind a wall, in the very closet whose door opening/closing I was having issues with. Fifteen bottles, all empty. I have a baseline. If more show up, I have my answer, and I'll know the truth. While that's comfortin...	SpiderArcana	9	513	Nov 7, 2016 by Reakoblack
	Question about Enabling and Financial Abuse (Preview) Do you consider it enabling if my husband uses any money that isn't for basic necessities to pay off drug debts? He has racked up huge credit card debts (in his name, thank God) and doesn't spend any money on anything but the bare minimum for our family, in my opinion. I do get to keep the baby bonus (I am a st...	misterpiko	3	395	Nov 7, 2016 by Rinn
	What do I do right now (Preview) my boyfriend is two weeks out of rehab, he came home just now and told me he had two drinks at the bar..I suspect it's more. He kept saying I'm sorry ur disappointed, but I'm just not going to be one of those guys who never drinks again. I said I'm disappointed for u, not me. He seemed like he wanted to pick a fi...	Desperateinnyc	14	536	Nov 7, 2016 by Rinn
	I need serious help. (Preview) My name is Stephanie. I'm 24 years old, and the past 5 months have been some of the best and worse of my life. I met my husband while he graduated from rehab, and only two short months later we were married. He was doing amazing when I met him. Just about 8 months sober! He has done many different types of drug...	stephaniestorti	8	508	Nov 6, 2016 by stephaniestorti
	How far does family help go? (Preview) I am struggling about where to draw a boundary. My brother's family 3 kids and ex wife expect me to come and help my brother who is dying from alcoholism. BUTTT they were never there for me, my mom, dad or uncles. I took care of my dad, mom and I helped my uncles and aunts before they passed away. I visite...	Lucy125	7	472	Nov 6, 2016 by 2HP
	Committing to change (Preview) I feel like I am making a shift. At first I was trying things out - I went to one meeting, read one book, I decided to run one 5k race, I tried some new strategies with people in my life - setting healthy boundaries and reaching out for connection. All low risk "experiments" It has all been so positive, and...	Taraxacum	4	427	Nov 6, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Honesty (Preview) Good evening to all! So, I just wanted to talk on the topic of honesty. ... I had an incident recently with my sister (alcoholic in denial). She recently had her daughter move back in with her after living with her father for over a year. My sister was so used to it just being herself and her son (who's 10...	Sandy408	3	614	Nov 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading 11-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 6 reflects on Step Five," admitting to God, ourselves and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs." The reading asks the question" what is the exact nature of our wrongs " is it the embarrassing moment or the word spoken or our dishonesty. It suggests that "...	hotrod	1	1032	Nov 6, 2016 by Iamhere
	Self Love~Taking care of oneself (Preview) Today I woke up and filled out some applications online and updated my resume. I fed my 3 year old and I a bagel and fruit for breakfast and I went out to finish the my raking in the backyard and last time I forgot my gloves and had gotten blisters. So I grabbed my gloves and got to work. I finished and felt dir...	Breakingfree	13	1394	Nov 6, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Tell the Truth? (Preview) I plan on telling people that truth of what happened to our family, if they ask. A councilor says this is a terrible legacy of shame. There's a little something wrong with that idea.	Lucy125	17	600	Nov 6, 2016 by Lucy125
	Need a Friend (Preview) I desperately need some contacts to talk to. I have not yet found a home group. My closest friend is only mildly acquainted with Al Anon and I really really need someone in a mini sponsor capacity. If any old timers have it laid on their heart to help me out. Please PM your number and convenient contact tim...	kspec85	2	282	Nov 6, 2016 by Lyne
	Courage To Change 5/11 (Preview) Todays c2c speaks of the fact that our motivation for doing something can be far more important than the action itself. As an example, it talks about speaking up when we are bothered by something. We might use the exact same words and yet if our motivation is to manipulate or change another person's beh...	MissM	4	360	Nov 6, 2016 by Calm Lady
	The Courage to Change (Preview) I went to a meeting this morning that focused on Step 6 (Were entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character). We read some pages out of C2C and from Paths to Recovery (workbook). As is so often the case, this was a really pertinent topic for me. One of the readings talked about the author wor...	e_i_m	4	312	Nov 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trying to figure out what to do (Preview) I have been thinking about my relationship with my ABF and I am seeing how he is so disrespectful toward me. He is angry all the time, as he is dry drunk, complains constantly about me not working-I am off work due to sickness and scheduled for day surgery on Monday. I see he has no compassion toward my illn...	joker	7	467	Nov 5, 2016 by pinkchip
	Is my husband addicted to sponsoring? (Preview) I am in desperate need of enlightenment from anyone who is willing to share. I married a beautiful man a little over 2 years ago. He is in AA and loves to help people. (Part of why I love him so much) He had been sober for 3 years when I met him and spent many hours a day on the phone with various sponsees. He shar...	gracekt	22	734	Nov 4, 2016 by gracekt
	Am I Doing the Right Thing? (Preview) I wrote a little earlier about my ex abf and it's still going on. I just don't know if I'm doing the right thing or not...I try not to talk to him when he is drunk because he never remembers what he says and he says the most hurtful, scary things. I also try not to text him either when he is drinking, because the...	vvv	2	485	Nov 4, 2016 by vvv
	Hurt. (Preview) My brother somehow found my info on this page and my posts were forwarded to my family. I know this is a risk we run in posting online. I don't regret seeking help, I never will. But I'm incredibly hurt that my personal business was used as a way to cause more drama in my family. Any advice would help here.	sarahGee	12	497	Nov 4, 2016 by sarahGee
	Why do we grieve the loss of a relationship with an alcoholic? (Preview) I've got myself stumped. I can not for the life of me figure out why I am missing my ex so much. HP has been doing his thing and putting little nuggets in front of me to remind me why what I'm doing is the right thing. I came across an old text message exchange with a few friends. My ex had convinced me he had no mo...	sarahGee	17	623	Nov 4, 2016 by KT2015
	Trying to figure out if my parter is a high functioning alcoholic/what I should do? high functioning alcoholic (Preview) Hello, I was formerly married to a classic/obvious alcoholic so I know I have issues with that. My problem is, four years ago I entered a relationship with a man who is stable, treats me like a queen, hardworking, and giving to others so his drinking wasn't obvious at first. He drinks a lot but doesn't h...	JRR	10	483	Nov 4, 2016 by JRR
	So sad. (Preview) I'm really trying so hard not to be critical of myself. My alcoholic fiance was arrested a couple days ago for slashing my tires. He has literally called me 45 times over the last two days. Crying and telling me that he so sorry and all he wants is our family back. Today I answered a call from him at lunch,...	kspec85	16	516	Nov 4, 2016 by sarahGee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/4/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family. Today's reading is about acceptance. It's a great one for reflection and I have it earmarked, so read it often. Unpleasant realities are a part of life. While we may wish to avoid disappointments, we come to realize the only way to have serenity is to become willing to accep...	Iamhere	5	375	Nov 4, 2016 by hotrod
	I'm new, need advice (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm engaged to an alcoholic who hasn't drank in the year and a half that I have known him. We have been in an argument for about a day or so and I found him tonight on our apartment rooftop lounge drinking and very upset. I finally got him to come back down to our apartment. I didn't know what to do...	LizzieAmanda	4	388	Nov 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	New to Al-Anon/ Uncomfortable Meeting (Preview) hello. i'm very new to al-anon, but grateful i've found this organization. i went to my 6th meeting today. afterwards, a woman beside me started to chit chat with me. she started off friendly and welcomed me to the group, but then started asking personal questions. she asked my profession and i said i h...	jml2424	11	473	Nov 4, 2016 by jml2424
	Heard at a meeting (file under self-care) (Preview) At my wonderful home group meeting tonight, a member shared something that someone else shared with him (he is in recovery from cancer, and this came from a fellow cancer survivor): "eat the cake, take the trip, buy the shoes" -- meaning, he said, "care for yourself extravagantly because no one else w...	e_i_m	3	401	Nov 4, 2016 by Suburban Denizen
	I am freaking out (Preview) My ex sister in law called trying to get me to fix this. She's also an Alcoholic and played a role in creating this mess. I told her don't call me. Don't talk to me. Alcoholic brother is being taken care of. He actually called me from rehab center. He saw a priest, he had asked me for one a few weeks ago. G...	Lucy125	3	349	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	I am feeling tremendous guilt (Preview) I didn't know my brother was using alcohol. He hid it from us. He lives in another town and would call me daily, but he wouldn't allow me to go see him. He would call and cancel all the time at last minute. The last time he came to visit my mom was 4 years ago. I saw him 1 year ago and he looked okay. I am not use...	Lucy125	5	388	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Never leaving Alanon... (Preview) My old sponsor quit Alanon a few years ago... ah decided that i wanted to remain a lifetime member. I have joined another fellowship, one that grew out of Alanon, AA and Alateen. This is a new fellowship- which one day, in years to come, I hope will join the family of 12 step groups. I have done the steps o...	DavidG	3	343	Nov 3, 2016 by hotrod
	When Detachment Destroys Families ( 1 2 ) (closed) (Preview) There are many sponsors who tell there sponsees to separate completely from their loved one to put their own interest before the alcoholics needs. This is ONLY true when the alcoholic is ruining your life and not meant to destroy the relationship. So many are taking this way too far. MY brother never a...	Sportgear	72	1622	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/3/16 (Preview) The reading today talks about the gift, joy and need for sponsorship. Most of us have a huge need to be heard when we first arrive. Al-Anon provides a safe place to share and we often crave this as well as the attention. While the newcomer is critically important to the meeting, the well-being of the g...	Iamhere	4	345	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Ouch HP intercedes (Preview) went for routine checkup, all is well. However my doctor who is a orthodox jew and knows im jewish,starts telling me things. He says, dont u know hp is watching over u and you are not alone even though u feel alone sometimes ? Then he says, i recomend u buy a mezuzah[which is a decorative item filled with pr...	YARNCRAZY	4	413	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	What am I doing (Preview) Ever since the incident with the money taken out of my wallet I have been a little stuck, I guess. I don't know what to call it, I cant really describe it.... I know Im a little off kilter since the 9 month infant foster child of my neighbors that I babysit is currently in a hospital on a ventilator and in...	Fooled	5	427	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	So relieved (Preview) So all I really have to post is !last night I got a call. It was from the office who I am seeing from medical. She said my A1C was low enough that I don't have diabetes. My dad had it & my husband had it so you can only imagine how nervous I was. Anyhow I am grateful that I am doing OK.	Hoot Nanny	4	359	Nov 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	I can't accept good treatment (Preview) Let me preface this by saying I am NOT dating or seeking a relationship - I know I'm no where near ready to identify a good man, or be a good partner to one. I have an art gallery. There is a gentleman that comes in once in a while to look around. I learned later that he does so because he enjoys my company more t...	sarahGee	14	527	Nov 3, 2016 by andromeda
	THEY CALLED HOSPICE He's not going to make it (Preview) I am so scared... I really thought there was some hope. They are going to give him this medication to get ammonia out of his brain. If it works, he's going home to die. Hospice has been called. OMG I never thought I would see this.	Lucy125	14	492	Nov 2, 2016 by maryjane
	I feel so alone (Preview) My husband and two kids and my elderly mom are all I have now. My brother and his family are gone. How do I cope with this?	Lucy125	7	385	Nov 2, 2016 by Lucy125
	C2C 11-2-16 (Preview) Step 2 was once paraphrased as: "First I came, then I "came to", then I came to believe." Today's reading contains a description of how the program works for some, particularly Step 2. No miracles necessary initially, just get to a meeting, involve yourself, look for and ask for guidance, and remain o...	Enigmatic	4	389	Nov 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Mind is spinning (Preview) I'm having a hard time today keeping thoughts and conversations surrounding my ex ABF away. I got a call today from one of his friends checking to see if I had heard from him. Although I would have liked to just ignored the call I did not. I knew why he would have been calling as soon as I got the call as that's...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	1	317	Nov 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Tools working in the wider world... (Preview) The past week has been challenging here in Italy with powerful earthquakes and a lot of disruption for thousands of people in our neighbourhood. Apparently we have had 700 aftershocks in the past two days alone, and I would guess that about half of those are felt. They are instant reminders of the thr...	milkwood	4	367	Nov 2, 2016 by Iamhere
	Question about a Higher Power (Preview) My bf is home from rehab and is doing well. He seems to have accepted aa and all it is he must continue to do, which for him, is amazing. When he went in he was so against the whole idea of aa, the "cult" aspect and the references to god etc. but he is going to his meetings, doing his outpatient therapy, meditat...	Desperateinnyc	15	3377	Nov 2, 2016 by Mercury
	What is "Gaslighting"? (Preview) Not quite sure. I have probably experienced it, but couldnt put a name to it. thanks linsc	LinSC	10	1423	Nov 2, 2016 by Taraxacum
	Orphan alcoholism (Preview) Hi, I am a mum of 5. My mum and dad died when I was younger. My mum was an alcoholic. I have a drinking problem. Help! Need someone to talk to	Bananasandcustard	1	334	Nov 2, 2016 by hotrod
	Gaslighting (Preview) Need some ESH for being Gaslighted. On the way to church yesterday my RAH saw me frantically searching through my wallet for my cash for the envelope. It wasn't there! I tore apart my pocketbook, looked in every nook and cranny of my hiding spots. Not there! I announced to him that my money wa...	Fooled	20	720	Nov 1, 2016 by Fooled
	Tinder and Xfating.com (Preview) AH says he has nothing to hide and all I ever had to do was ask. He shares the password for his laptop. Of course his emails received were deleted but the sent mails were not. He emailing to meet women before and during rehab. One he even asked if he could meet her the same night. This man just said to me on the p...	sunmustshine	10	568	Nov 1, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Betrayal (Preview) I am still so numb and angry. The AFB went and got drunk. Expected that. He was sober for 3 months. He just went and got drunk Saterday night. Then he phoned his ex-wife who was happy to pick him up and he was gone all night till 8 am with her. I am numb and angry that he would just take off with his ex-wife and spe...	joker	7	1012	Nov 1, 2016 by lookingup
	A smile for you (Preview) We are non denominational - - But who doesn't love puppies in costume. This is my 15 week old American Bulldog puppy, Dottie. -- Edited by sarahGee on Monday 31st of October 2016 11:31:16 PM	sarahGee	15	437	Nov 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Literature (Preview) Hello. A while ago some wonderful people posted about literature that may be helpful to me. I wrote down the names of those books, but I wanted some advice on maybe one good one in particular to start with. One, How Alanon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, stood out to me. Would this one...	Cammi45	8	399	Nov 1, 2016 by Cammi45
	Hope for Today Nov 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- and thank you for all the well wishes regarding my move. We are starting to get settled and the whole house is calming down after a stressful end-of-summer and fall!! This reading is about how it may be possible to hear what is difficult for us to hear directly from family member...	yanksfan51	2	341	Nov 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Rough day (Preview) I posted once before, in July when I was hoping things with my husband of 20 years would be fixed. Well, they didn't change and in August I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt pushed into it by him. Even after moving, I still hoped for him to "get it" and make changes. Instead, he continued drinking, sta...	Tinyhouse	4	429	Nov 1, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Careing and compassionate (Preview) Being careing ,having compassion for a loved one are great assets to have within us,it's when my careing and compassion goes over board to the extremes of putting me in harms way that also builds resentments in me towards my qaulifiers, ive never been able to not take it to the extremes of how to just be...	lookingup	8	408	Nov 1, 2016 by lookingup
	Dealing with a crush (Preview) Recently I have developed a crush on a man I know. The intensity of this infatuation has taken me by surprise. Didn't expect to feel like this again. I'm still living with ah partner so its highly unlikely anything can happen with this man, even if he was interested. I find myself spending too much time...	Emma123	20	3083	Nov 1, 2016 by Emma123
	Embarrassed (Preview) I had my first al-anon meeting last night - I found it hard to control my emotions & found myself tearfully explaining my situation to a group of people I had only just met. I don't even think I articulated it very well as I was sobbing. I feel embarrassed now & scared to go back. I could just pictur...	SaraLin	27	751	Nov 1, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Update on twins (Preview) So, one is white knuckling semi-sobriety. Refuses meetings after going to one a week ago. Still smoking pot, but very little. The other twin has his first pre-trial probation check tomorrow and he's AWOL. Left the house today at 2pm and no one has seen him since. He is with a friend and the friend has bee...	themoonandthestars	2	342	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	4th step (Preview) I was told in my f2f meetings that I should do my fourth step with a sponsor. I don't have a sponsor, and I don't think I'll have one for a long while because I can only get to meetings once a week. It's difficult to get to know people in such a large group, with only an hour to engage and short snippits of thoug...	sarahGee	6	515	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	I feel like a bad person.... (Preview) My brother has terminal cirrhosis or so they tell me. When I spoke to doctor, she said she didn't know how bad it was only time would tell. He might eventually need liver transplant. One of my relatives said: you should give your brother a living donor liver transplant from yourself. After everythi...	Lucy125	11	512	Oct 31, 2016 by Lucy125
	Adult Children of Alcoholics (Looking for a new perspective) (Preview) Hello, I hope it is okay I am posting this. I am a recovering alcoholic with 2 children and a wife who has been going through the good, bad and worse for a long time. I have been a freight train that has moved through her life and my children's life destroying anything that would resemble stability. I have b...	Dis-Ease91	17	569	Oct 31, 2016 by DavidG
	Fellowship (Preview) It is so true. Turning to Al Anon, weather it's your CAL, listening to conference talks, going to a meeting or reaching out to others in the program, does help center you. I'm having a really difficult day. No details necessary. I was feeling down almost to the point of tears & something clicked i...	sarahGee	5	395	Oct 31, 2016 by sarahGee
	Counting on AH just dosen't work even though he's dry (Preview) My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so mu...	Taraxacum	14	926	Oct 31, 2016 by Taraxacum
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.