Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

el-cee · el-cee

What does it mean if someone is emotionally unavailable? Does it mean they aren't/cant meet our needs and if so is it our jobs to deal with these needs? Are alanon folks needy people just as part of our own dis-ease? Is our higher power the answer to our perceived needs? Also, are we alanoners attracted...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Woke up this rainy Saturday morning with an inner confidence. Following what felt like a battering over the last few days in my mind and attitudes. It feels like i am coming out the other end having had a darn good kick about and review of my outdated thinking patterns. A lot of completely unfounded guil...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha David and Kalamai...just got home from my morning meeting and heard of the monster earth quake on your island. Hope you and the family are safe and secure and HP is holding on to you. Let us know how it goes brother. ((((hugs)))) -- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 13th of November 2016 03:43:45 PM

Lucy125 · Lucy125

Blame is useless. It's all about spinning the wheels. Accountability is different. I should have held the person in my life accountable. When his behavior was bad, long before the alcohol, I should have said, and calmly stated how I wanted to be treated. I was afraid of confrontation. I just didn't...

vvv · vvv

I was just curious as to how you handle when the alcoholic in your life is drunk and says awful crazy things? Obviously I feel like what I have done in the past doesn't work or at least feel like the right thing. I usually just ignore it unless it really upsets me, then I'll bring it up the next day. Is this beh...

KT2015 · KT2015

The last few weeks have been really great between my AH and I. It feels like things suddenly magically got a lot better between us. I know that isn't the case (the sudden magic part) but I think what has happened is that as I've practiced the program he's picked up some things along the way too. I've be...

El · El

Oh, I lost it big time today. My serenity went right out the window.....which thank goodness the windows were closed or the neighbors would have heard an earful! I recently posted that I know that my AH's mood can and usually changes as the day goes on. The kind, thoughtful, listening husband in t...

Fooled · Fooled

Today my RAH achieved 45 days of sobriety. Its a big deal because he has never made it past this point ever. (Except for the 90 days straight he was at sea when in the Navy 20 years ago) I have seen a sort of shift in him lately that he is serious and wants this. He has returned to AA and still goes to IOP 3...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Coming up on a year since I returned to al-anon and grateful for the changes in my life. Thanks to the program and HP, I've set boundaries about pot in my house and excessive drinking, and my husband has complied. I no longer feel compelled to check for levels in bottles. The unmistakable scent of pot hid...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I guess I need to turn this over to the higher power. I feel so alone. My mom is old, and losing her son was quite a blow.

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Do you know is there suggested commitment in al anon? I am just thinking how committed everyone should be in small meeting to keep door open kind of.

joker · joker

I was so sick yesterday, I was throwing up, at my sisters house. I talked to the abf and had him pick me up so I can come home. I needed to be home. I had to leave my car behind as I could not drive. Today, I am still ill. I am still planning to leave once I am better. I confronted the abf about his ex-wife going to sp...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the slogan :"First things first.". It points out that many times we get caught up in trivial matters, and then tend to neglect the most important ones simply because we fail to make time for the important ones.The reading points out that the first t...

serenity47 · serenity47

Today is a day of reflection for me. A year ago my relationship with my AD was in a shambles, life was crazy and I was stressed beyond anything imaginable and felt hopeless that it was ever going to change. Well it has changed in a remarkable way. This weekend was the first time my AD had been back home si...

joker · joker

I am so done with the abf. I am beyond disgusted. I am seeing him for what a selfish prick he really his. On Monday I had to go for surgery on my stomack, he did not take me or pick me up. I made my own arrangements. Yesterday he decided to get drunk and kept me up all night. I am still in a lot of pain. It was major su...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c likens learning to use our al-anon tools to oiling a saw- it doesn't change the equipment we have but it makes it a lot easier to use what we have and to use those assets in a much more productive way. It points out that we might be skeptical about the usefullness of the process but if we take a lea...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

I have struggled for so lomy having the strength and courage to leave my abf..but I believe I am ready. He came back from rehab 3 weeks ago and is back to all his old ways..I think I need to go..for me, and for him. He won't get better while I'm here, and I am getting worse in my own codependency. I am scared..b...

lookingup · lookingup

Not letting others steal or take away my power ,my happiness,has been a tough one for me today,trying to find ways to make it stop or putting a stop to it,some do it in a subtle way others do it openly, ive been belittled,knocked down,used in many ways. all this does to me is keep me down,depressed,low sel...

LinSC · LinSC

Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them i...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

iM in alot of pain and filled with frustration. Wrenched my back somehow and have been frustrated,angry and confused. Im going to see a back doctor on monday after being to walk in,er and my bone doc. at my bone doc, i was so much in pain, i was crying hysterically. Now I cant look for work til this is resolv...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

10th anniv here, asked husb to please be straight, supposed to pick me up at work at 5pm to go to dinner. Called him, he's drunk was still at home at 5:10 and he still is not here (it takes 30 mins to get here) 6:10 now no husb. Any thoughts on what I should say?? I am so disapponted and pis!#/^^^ off. Help!

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

Back to Step One. I do not have power over control over his drinking, but it has total control over me. That stash I found? Yeah...no new bottles, no idea how old it all is, nothing anywhere. It very well could have been his 'clean out' from when he quit (no idea why he wouldn't have actually thrown them a...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Hello all. I havent been here in a while. Sadly the usual ups and downs of the disease has kept me preoccupied and not putting the focus of my program where I should. So much has occured that is irrepairable but my concern now (and has been for a while) is how to keep him from the kids. He's been in and out of re...

LinSC · LinSC

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Seperating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person alcoholism can be a means of detaching: this does not neccessarily require physical seperati...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about Step 3 and how it's critical to our path for growth. Many of us came to recovery thinking we were well and we just wanted/needed our qualifier to change. We had tried with great intentions to control people, places and things - sincerely believing our way was the correct w...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm making an extra effort today to live our principles and this spiritual program. I don't find it easy and cant do it for every 24 hours in the day but I thought it might help me to write down what it means to me. Begin my day with a gratitude list to remind myself that all is ok and more than that I have so muc...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Why is it that they will never acknowledge or validate anything you say you feel or have felt? I don't understand that side of the A. I'm working on myself so that I don't search for validation anymore, because it's a fruitless effort..but could someone explain why they do that? Ie: if you say "this happ...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

OMG I am so angry. Now I have to clean up this mess. His friends are asking me why this happened. I have to tell my mom. The kids never told me he was drinking, I might have at least staged an intervention. Now it's all over. The pain is so much.

MissM · MissM

I've had a very bad day. My response is, I've booked myself in to get my motorbike license. Hell yeah

Woo!

MissM · MissM

Mother is in India. She wasn't very nice to me in the weeks leading up to her time away, and to be honest I've dreaded hearing from her. The day she left, she messaged me (obviously drunk) from the airport bar to tell me she was going to have a miserable time because my siblings were fighting and having dram...

FooledMeTwice · FooledMeTwice

I am really struggling today. I can't get my ex ABF off my mind and am still in disbelief that after 8 years together he ended everything between us to work on his sobriety - and he ended it in a text message no less. I know we are all in control of our own happiness and I need to focus on me etc. etc. But it's b...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It is so hard to stay on my side of the street at the moment and not rush in and meddle. UGH .. queen of the meddlers is what I am at times. I'm watching someone I care about go through some really messy stuff .. that whole watching a train wreck seeing the train wreck and kind of saying ummm .. do you even see t...

mmg330 · mmg330

Please forgive me this is a long post. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My AH got sober and and went into recovery/AA about 8 years ago. About 5 years ago he "befriended" a young woman in AA. They became fast friends. She was newly married at the time. Her new husband got transferred with the militar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in C2C is about One Day at a Time. When we are able to focus on just today, this one day, we can be more realistic about improving our situation. Living one day at a time helps us get rid of that sense of constant urgency. One Day at a Time is a simple concept that allows us to realize no prob...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuf...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

My own fault, I let my Al-anon behaviours slip. Without thinking I spoke freely and spoke the truth to AH. In response I was told what a frigid and unstable person I am. That i should be happy with all the wonderful things I have. That i should walk around with a smile on my face at all times. Not to be unhapp...

Fedora · Fedora

Hello everyone. Now that the holiday season is about to be upon us, I wanted to share something that came up with me and my AH. It sort of made me laugh but not in a way that I would share out loud to anyone but this group. My AH and his mom have had ongoing issues now that his drinking is public knowledge. I sta...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I saw my brother today. He's dying. It's a matter of days, I think. The emotional pain is so much. I thought there was a chance, but it's not possible now. I tried over the years, but I didn't know what was wrong, he hid the drinking from us. I don't know what to do about his kids. 25, 23, 20. They are losing t...

runi · runi

My adult daughter and family is living with us. We do not drink. I have noticed daughter drinks every day. She does not get drunk. I'm thinking she has a tolerance. My gut has been telling me 'this is not good, danger, danger'. When, how do i say anything?

joker · joker

I am hurt that my daughter or sister will not help me. I had day surgery 2 days ago and I am in a lot of pain. Complete bed rest. I have three holes put in my stomack and a camera put in..found out that my bladder was stick to another tissue..doctor had to cut it out and put on antibiotics for infection inside st...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I would like to start writing more and I was just wondering what are the things that you all usually journal about.

kspec85 · kspec85

Alright people, I cant even tell you how crazy my life has been since yesterday. ABF got drunk yesterday before I came home from work. I got home with two of my kids to get ready for trick or treating. I soon as I get there he's playing with the kids and everything is going fine. I can tell that he had been dr...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Good morning! Our reading today points out the incredible adaptability of humans, evident even in the chaotic and disruptive world where alcohol plays a harmful role. When the disease puts a halt to healthy family functioning and ways of getting our needs met, we often adopt less healthy and effici...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I saw this quote this morning and it best represents what recovery has gifted me....wanted to share with my MIP family here! A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. Every day you wake up, think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Stop focusing on the negatives and ever...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 45 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nicknam...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Last weeks events prompted me to accept some truths. The biggest being that I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else is. I spoke with my dad today about leaving the family business. He is going to close it down. It makes sense all around for us to walk away from this. The best way for me to set up hea...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I spoke to Alcoholic brother yesterday and he's not doing good. He's still in convalescent home and he's not making a lot of sense. He did dial the phone to speak to me. My elderly mother asked and I reported it to her. She feels guilty because she's in a nice assisted living and he's in a not so great reh...

Mercury · Mercury

I just wanted to share some progress I have made in learning how to let go. I've been attending Al-Anon meetings for about a month after being miserable for a long time. I basically "reached bottom" when I went to my first meeting. I was so caught up in a whirlwind of resentment and anger and was basica...

Reakoblack · Reakoblack

Hello All, I found myself in a new situation. My qualifier, son, and me went over to our friends house for dinner. This was the first time I faced a situation that I was humiliated not only in front of our friend, but a stranger as well. The humiliation came from the mouth. I quickly collected my things an...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

IF Betty is around, maybe she can answer this because she's been in Al Anon a long time. When I was growing up, I was told I was incompetent. So I always feel like I can't do things and I need help. I have a fear of being alone. I have a real small family now and it scares the heck out of me. I had to stop seeing...

Beans22 · Beans22

Hello! So I'm new to this but have sought out individual counseling before... anyways my mother has been an alcoholic since before I was born. I'm 32 years young and a mother of two young boys. In the last year my mother's health has taken a turn for the worst, she was hospitalized last fall for not eatin...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about why some of us may be attracted to As in the first place, and what type of internal changes we may make in order to improve our own lives. The writer speaks of an awakening about his/her grandfather, who was an A. The writer learned many behaviors charac...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I don't have anyone to talk to. No numbers from my home group. Any suggestions of a place to call or something that would help

oceanpine · oceanpine

I'm really struggling with differentiating between consequences and punishment. I am so angry at my husband (from whom I am separated) that my petty and furious side would like to punish him for all he is putting me through. My more mature side that has been learning more and more about recovery know...

el-cee · el-cee

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading reminds us of the power we have as stated in Step 11: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God...". The level of access to the love, guidance, and strength of a higher power is entirely in our control. Prayer and meditation connects us to our high...

Sportgear · Sportgear

My mother has been in AA for approx 33 years and has never made DIRECT amends to me or my siblings that I am aware of. I confronted her once about it and she said "I didn't think I owed you amends"....are you frigging kidding me? So later about a week she says "I guess I probably do I guess" and I said, no forget...

momwiz216 · momwiz216

I have an adult child alcoholic. About an hour ago at 4:45 Am there was an incident. I have been going to Al-anon for about 2 weeks and reading a lot of self help information about control and enabling but right now I just want to punish her for what just happened. How do I right here, right now deal with t...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

When I was growing up, I was the black sheep and my brother was the Golden Child. He was a star in our town. I was basically nothing. I recently went to a funeral in our town and nobody knew me. The people at funeral asked about him and even called me his sister, I have no name. After I left home, I got some r...

MissT · MissT

Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell.... i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What is emotional unavailability? (Preview) What does it mean if someone is emotionally unavailable? Does it mean they aren't/cant meet our needs and if so is it our jobs to deal with these needs? Are alanon folks needy people just as part of our own dis-ease? Is our higher power the answer to our perceived needs? Also, are we alanoners attracted...	el-cee	9	3721	Nov 15, 2016 by el-cee
	Hi all (Preview) Woke up this rainy Saturday morning with an inner confidence. Following what felt like a battering over the last few days in my mind and attitudes. It feels like i am coming out the other end having had a darn good kick about and review of my outdated thinking patterns. A lot of completely unfounded guil...	Calm Lady	12	900	Nov 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	DavidG (Preview) Aloha David and Kalamai...just got home from my morning meeting and heard of the monster earth quake on your island. Hope you and the family are safe and secure and HP is holding on to you. Let us know how it goes brother. ((((hugs)))) -- Edited by Jerry F on Sunday 13th of November 2016 03:43:45 PM	Jerry F	10	691	Nov 14, 2016 by Jen61
	Blame verses Accountability (Preview) Blame is useless. It's all about spinning the wheels. Accountability is different. I should have held the person in my life accountable. When his behavior was bad, long before the alcohol, I should have said, and calmly stated how I wanted to be treated. I was afraid of confrontation. I just didn't...	Lucy125	5	3324	Nov 14, 2016 by Lucy125
	What do you all do? (Preview) I was just curious as to how you handle when the alcoholic in your life is drunk and says awful crazy things? Obviously I feel like what I have done in the past doesn't work or at least feel like the right thing. I usually just ignore it unless it really upsets me, then I'll bring it up the next day. Is this beh...	vvv	9	681	Nov 14, 2016 by Jerry F
	Let it begin with me....? (Preview) The last few weeks have been really great between my AH and I. It feels like things suddenly magically got a lot better between us. I know that isn't the case (the sudden magic part) but I think what has happened is that as I've practiced the program he's picked up some things along the way too. I've be...	KT2015	4	580	Nov 14, 2016 by El
	Blip in my serenity (Preview) Oh, I lost it big time today. My serenity went right out the window.....which thank goodness the windows were closed or the neighbors would have heard an earful! I recently posted that I know that my AH's mood can and usually changes as the day goes on. The kind, thoughtful, listening husband in t...	El	9	592	Nov 14, 2016 by El
	Life is not fair (Preview) Today my RAH achieved 45 days of sobriety. Its a big deal because he has never made it past this point ever. (Except for the 90 days straight he was at sea when in the Navy 20 years ago) I have seen a sort of shift in him lately that he is serious and wants this. He has returned to AA and still goes to IOP 3...	Fooled	18	783	Nov 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress after a year, thinking still distorted (Preview) Coming up on a year since I returned to al-anon and grateful for the changes in my life. Thanks to the program and HP, I've set boundaries about pot in my house and excessive drinking, and my husband has complied. I no longer feel compelled to check for levels in bottles. The unmistakable scent of pot hid...	Mcat54	3	631	Nov 14, 2016 by Fooled
	I am afraid my mom is going to decline over this (Preview) I guess I need to turn this over to the higher power. I feel so alone. My mom is old, and losing her son was quite a blow.	Lucy125	3	569	Nov 13, 2016 by serenity47
	Suggested commitment in small al anon mtg? (Preview) Do you know is there suggested commitment in al anon? I am just thinking how committed everyone should be in small meeting to keep door open kind of.	kadriliisa	1	530	Nov 13, 2016 by hotrod
	focusing on today (Preview) I was so sick yesterday, I was throwing up, at my sisters house. I talked to the abf and had him pick me up so I can come home. I needed to be home. I had to leave my car behind as I could not drive. Today, I am still ill. I am still planning to leave once I am better. I confronted the abf about his ex-wife going to sp...	joker	0	417	Nov 13, 2016 by joker
	Courage to Change reading for 11-13-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for November 13 speaks about the slogan :"First things first.". It points out that many times we get caught up in trivial matters, and then tend to neglect the most important ones simply because we fail to make time for the important ones.The reading points out that the first t...	hotrod	2	836	Nov 13, 2016 by Enigmatic
	A lot can change in a year (Preview) Today is a day of reflection for me. A year ago my relationship with my AD was in a shambles, life was crazy and I was stressed beyond anything imaginable and felt hopeless that it was ever going to change. Well it has changed in a remarkable way. This weekend was the first time my AD had been back home si...	serenity47	5	610	Nov 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	I have hit my bottom (Preview) I am so done with the abf. I am beyond disgusted. I am seeing him for what a selfish prick he really his. On Monday I had to go for surgery on my stomack, he did not take me or pick me up. I made my own arrangements. Yesterday he decided to get drunk and kept me up all night. I am still in a lot of pain. It was major su...	joker	7	662	Nov 13, 2016 by el-cee
	Courage to Change 12/11 (Preview) Today's c2c likens learning to use our al-anon tools to oiling a saw- it doesn't change the equipment we have but it makes it a lot easier to use what we have and to use those assets in a much more productive way. It points out that we might be skeptical about the usefullness of the process but if we take a lea...	MissM	3	551	Nov 12, 2016 by e_i_m
	I think I can leave now... (Preview) I have struggled for so lomy having the strength and courage to leave my abf..but I believe I am ready. He came back from rehab 3 weeks ago and is back to all his old ways..I think I need to go..for me, and for him. He won't get better while I'm here, and I am getting worse in my own codependency. I am scared..b...	Desperateinnyc	7	628	Nov 12, 2016 by pinkchip
	Keeping my power (Preview) Not letting others steal or take away my power ,my happiness,has been a tough one for me today,trying to find ways to make it stop or putting a stop to it,some do it in a subtle way others do it openly, ive been belittled,knocked down,used in many ways. all this does to me is keep me down,depressed,low sel...	lookingup	5	646	Nov 12, 2016 by lookingup
	ENABLING examples of (Preview) Repeatedly bailing them out - of jail, financial problems, other "tight spots" they get themselves intoGiving them "one more chance" - then another...and another...Ignoring the problem - because they get defensive when you bring it up or your hope that it will magically go awayJoining them i...	LinSC	17	904	Nov 12, 2016 by LinSC
	SIDELINED (Preview) iM in alot of pain and filled with frustration. Wrenched my back somehow and have been frustrated,angry and confused. Im going to see a back doctor on monday after being to walk in,er and my bone doc. at my bone doc, i was so much in pain, i was crying hysterically. Now I cant look for work til this is resolv...	YARNCRAZY	1	457	Nov 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Happy wedding anniversary NOT (Preview) 10th anniv here, asked husb to please be straight, supposed to pick me up at work at 5pm to go to dinner. Called him, he's drunk was still at home at 5:10 and he still is not here (it takes 30 mins to get here) 6:10 now no husb. Any thoughts on what I should say?? I am so disapponted and pis!#/^^^ off. Help!	Worried Wife	5	542	Nov 12, 2016 by FooledMeTwice
	I have totally lost control (Preview) Back to Step One. I do not have power over control over his drinking, but it has total control over me. That stash I found? Yeah...no new bottles, no idea how old it all is, nothing anywhere. It very well could have been his 'clean out' from when he quit (no idea why he wouldn't have actually thrown them a...	SpiderArcana	4	550	Nov 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Keeping the kids from him (Preview) Hello all. I havent been here in a while. Sadly the usual ups and downs of the disease has kept me preoccupied and not putting the focus of my program where I should. So much has occured that is irrepairable but my concern now (and has been for a while) is how to keep him from the kids. He's been in and out of re...	Hopefull15	6	574	Nov 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	DETACHMENT? (Preview) Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. Seperating ourselves from the adverse effects of another person alcoholism can be a means of detaching: this does not neccessarily require physical seperati...	LinSC	23	1550	Nov 11, 2016 by LinSC
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/11/16hen (Preview) Today's reading is all about Step 3 and how it's critical to our path for growth. Many of us came to recovery thinking we were well and we just wanted/needed our qualifier to change. We had tried with great intentions to control people, places and things - sincerely believing our way was the correct w...	Iamhere	3	599	Nov 11, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Trying to be in Gods will today! (Preview) I'm making an extra effort today to live our principles and this spiritual program. I don't find it easy and cant do it for every 24 hours in the day but I thought it might help me to write down what it means to me. Begin my day with a gratitude list to remind myself that all is ok and more than that I have so muc...	el-cee	9	655	Nov 11, 2016 by KT2015
	I know I'm not going to get any closure but.. (Preview) Why is it that they will never acknowledge or validate anything you say you feel or have felt? I don't understand that side of the A. I'm working on myself so that I don't search for validation anymore, because it's a fruitless effort..but could someone explain why they do that? Ie: if you say "this happ...	sarahGee	24	808	Nov 11, 2016 by KT2015
	He's going to die this evening (Preview) OMG I am so angry. Now I have to clean up this mess. His friends are asking me why this happened. I have to tell my mom. The kids never told me he was drinking, I might have at least staged an intervention. Now it's all over. The pain is so much.	Lucy125	16	705	Nov 11, 2016 by Lucy125
	Woohoo (Preview) I've had a very bad day. My response is, I've booked myself in to get my motorbike license. Hell yeah Woo!	MissM	10	577	Nov 11, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Messages from India. (Preview) Mother is in India. She wasn't very nice to me in the weeks leading up to her time away, and to be honest I've dreaded hearing from her. The day she left, she messaged me (obviously drunk) from the airport bar to tell me she was going to have a miserable time because my siblings were fighting and having dram...	MissM	7	2565	Nov 11, 2016 by sarahGee
	Emotional, bad day (Preview) I am really struggling today. I can't get my ex ABF off my mind and am still in disbelief that after 8 years together he ended everything between us to work on his sobriety - and he ended it in a text message no less. I know we are all in control of our own happiness and I need to focus on me etc. etc. But it's b...	FooledMeTwice	8	583	Nov 11, 2016 by el-cee
	My side of the street .. (Preview) It is so hard to stay on my side of the street at the moment and not rush in and meddle. UGH .. queen of the meddlers is what I am at times. I'm watching someone I care about go through some really messy stuff .. that whole watching a train wreck seeing the train wreck and kind of saying ummm .. do you even see t...	SerenityRUS	1	505	Nov 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Am I Crazy? (Preview) Please forgive me this is a long post. I guess I'll start at the beginning. My AH got sober and and went into recovery/AA about 8 years ago. About 5 years ago he "befriended" a young woman in AA. They became fast friends. She was newly married at the time. Her new husband got transferred with the militar...	mmg330	10	688	Nov 10, 2016 by Mattie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/10/16 (Preview) Today's reading in C2C is about One Day at a Time. When we are able to focus on just today, this one day, we can be more realistic about improving our situation. Living one day at a time helps us get rid of that sense of constant urgency. One Day at a Time is a simple concept that allows us to realize no prob...	Iamhere	2	522	Nov 10, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Working my program (Preview) I got a call from my ex-abf yesterday morning. He was going to be working in my city and wanted to get his bike out of my basement and asked if it was okay. Yes, it was very okay, bc I've been wanting him to get his stuff for a while (I had been very controlling and full of expectations about him getting the stuf...	e_i_m	3	516	Nov 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Stove still hot (Preview) My own fault, I let my Al-anon behaviours slip. Without thinking I spoke freely and spoke the truth to AH. In response I was told what a frigid and unstable person I am. That i should be happy with all the wonderful things I have. That i should walk around with a smile on my face at all times. Not to be unhapp...	Calm Lady	26	801	Nov 10, 2016 by FooledMeTwice
	Holidays - limiting family, kind of glad (Preview) Hello everyone. Now that the holiday season is about to be upon us, I wanted to share something that came up with me and my AH. It sort of made me laugh but not in a way that I would share out loud to anyone but this group. My AH and his mom have had ongoing issues now that his drinking is public knowledge. I sta...	Fedora	7	580	Nov 10, 2016 by Calm Lady
	I saw dying brother, I need to stop being so co dependent (Preview) I saw my brother today. He's dying. It's a matter of days, I think. The emotional pain is so much. I thought there was a chance, but it's not possible now. I tried over the years, but I didn't know what was wrong, he hid the drinking from us. I don't know what to do about his kids. 25, 23, 20. They are losing t...	Lucy125	4	526	Nov 10, 2016 by Lucy125
	when to confront alcoholic (Preview) My adult daughter and family is living with us. We do not drink. I have noticed daughter drinks every day. She does not get drunk. I'm thinking she has a tolerance. My gut has been telling me 'this is not good, danger, danger'. When, how do i say anything?	runi	11	2968	Nov 9, 2016 by Fedora
	Bad day (Preview) I am hurt that my daughter or sister will not help me. I had day surgery 2 days ago and I am in a lot of pain. Complete bed rest. I have three holes put in my stomack and a camera put in..found out that my bladder was stick to another tissue..doctor had to cut it out and put on antibiotics for infection inside st...	joker	2	465	Nov 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Daily writing (Preview) I would like to start writing more and I was just wondering what are the things that you all usually journal about.	ItsAllAboutMeMC	4	581	Nov 9, 2016 by Bethany66
	Long White Trash Story (Preview) Alright people, I cant even tell you how crazy my life has been since yesterday. ABF got drunk yesterday before I came home from work. I got home with two of my kids to get ready for trick or treating. I soon as I get there he's playing with the kids and everything is going fine. I can tell that he had been dr...	kspec85	21	3942	Nov 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 11/9/16 (Preview) Good morning! Our reading today points out the incredible adaptability of humans, evident even in the chaotic and disruptive world where alcohol plays a harmful role. When the disease puts a halt to healthy family functioning and ways of getting our needs met, we often adopt less healthy and effici...	Enigmatic	3	645	Nov 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	A Beautiful Day..... (Preview) I saw this quote this morning and it best represents what recovery has gifted me....wanted to share with my MIP family here! A beautiful day begins with a beautiful mindset. Every day you wake up, think about what a privilege it is to simply be alive and healthy. Stop focusing on the negatives and ever...	Iamhere	5	2936	Nov 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 45 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nicknam...	shimo	1	386	Nov 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Changes (Preview) Last weeks events prompted me to accept some truths. The biggest being that I am responsible for my own happiness, no one else is. I spoke with my dad today about leaving the family business. He is going to close it down. It makes sense all around for us to walk away from this. The best way for me to set up hea...	sarahGee	7	632	Nov 9, 2016 by FooledMeTwice
	Now my she feels guilty (Preview) I spoke to Alcoholic brother yesterday and he's not doing good. He's still in convalescent home and he's not making a lot of sense. He did dial the phone to speak to me. My elderly mother asked and I reported it to her. She feels guilty because she's in a nice assisted living and he's in a not so great reh...	Lucy125	2	516	Nov 8, 2016 by Lucy125
	Letting go - baby steps (Preview) I just wanted to share some progress I have made in learning how to let go. I've been attending Al-Anon meetings for about a month after being miserable for a long time. I basically "reached bottom" when I went to my first meeting. I was so caught up in a whirlwind of resentment and anger and was basica...	Mercury	12	780	Nov 8, 2016 by Mercury
	Humiliation (Preview) Hello All, I found myself in a new situation. My qualifier, son, and me went over to our friends house for dinner. This was the first time I faced a situation that I was humiliated not only in front of our friend, but a stranger as well. The humiliation came from the mouth. I quickly collected my things an...	Reakoblack	7	596	Nov 8, 2016 by Mercury
	Will this program help me be more independent? (Preview) IF Betty is around, maybe she can answer this because she's been in Al Anon a long time. When I was growing up, I was told I was incompetent. So I always feel like I can't do things and I need help. I have a fear of being alone. I have a real small family now and it scares the heck out of me. I had to stop seeing...	Lucy125	8	648	Nov 8, 2016 by Bethany66
	Should I walk away? (Preview) Hello! So I'm new to this but have sought out individual counseling before... anyways my mother has been an alcoholic since before I was born. I'm 32 years young and a mother of two young boys. In the last year my mother's health has taken a turn for the worst, she was hospitalized last fall for not eatin...	Beans22	8	657	Nov 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Nov 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about why some of us may be attracted to As in the first place, and what type of internal changes we may make in order to improve our own lives. The writer speaks of an awakening about his/her grandfather, who was an A. The writer learned many behaviors charac...	yanksfan51	4	503	Nov 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Bottoming out (Preview) I don't have anyone to talk to. No numbers from my home group. Any suggestions of a place to call or something that would help	sarahGee	10	616	Nov 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	consequences vs. punishment (Preview) I'm really struggling with differentiating between consequences and punishment. I am so angry at my husband (from whom I am separated) that my petty and furious side would like to punish him for all he is putting me through. My more mature side that has been learning more and more about recovery know...	oceanpine	19	816	Nov 8, 2016 by Fooled
	The new serenity prayer (Preview)	el-cee	5	2317	Nov 7, 2016 by HopefulTimes
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon 11/7/16 (Preview) Today's reading reminds us of the power we have as stated in Step 11: "Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God...". The level of access to the love, guidance, and strength of a higher power is entirely in our control. Prayer and meditation connects us to our high...	Enigmatic	5	533	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Shouldn't We Expect Amends from a Parent? ( 1 2 ) (closed) (Preview) My mother has been in AA for approx 33 years and has never made DIRECT amends to me or my siblings that I am aware of. I confronted her once about it and she said "I didn't think I owed you amends"....are you frigging kidding me? So later about a week she says "I guess I probably do I guess" and I said, no forget...	Sportgear	74	1932	Nov 7, 2016 by hotrod
	desperate (Preview) I have an adult child alcoholic. About an hour ago at 4:45 Am there was an incident. I have been going to Al-anon for about 2 weeks and reading a lot of self help information about control and enabling but right now I just want to punish her for what just happened. How do I right here, right now deal with t...	momwiz216	7	678	Nov 7, 2016 by el-cee
	Rigid family roles (Preview) When I was growing up, I was the black sheep and my brother was the Golden Child. He was a star in our town. I was basically nothing. I recently went to a funeral in our town and nobody knew me. The people at funeral asked about him and even called me his sister, I have no name. After I left home, I got some r...	Lucy125	5	702	Nov 7, 2016 by Lucy125
	Finally getting the guts to help myself (Preview) Hi, Sarah here. I've thought about joining for years now but thankfully I had a nice long patch where I forgot I needed help. Unfortunately the past 2 days have been hell.... i met my now husband 10 years ago. We were both extremely heavy drinkers. We started dating not long after that and the first year o...	MissT	3	576	Nov 7, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.