The material presented
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Not letting others steal or take away my power ,my happiness,has been a tough one for me today,trying to find ways to make it stop or putting a stop to it,some do it in a subtle way others do it openly,
ive been belittled,knocked down,used in many ways.
all this does to me is keep me down,depressed,low self esteem,
i have my own home,pay my own bills with no help from nobody,
i love being independent and I'm greatful today to have a home to call mine,to come home to everyday,I've made comfortable for me.
i still have this problem,defect of allowing others to take away my happiness in some sort of way,
hard standing up for myself and saying NO,leaving it at that's a complete sentence.
this is where I'm at with my steps on step 6. Willing and ready to give them up.
im just asking if anybody here has found ways to make it all stop,as far as others,loved ones or qaulifiers,foo,doing these things..........many ((((hugs))))) to my truly alanon family ,that I call my true family ,y'all the only ones that understand me....lu
Hi LU I found that people stopped when I began to say "no I am unable to help "or when I stopped answering the phone. When I decided to really be present in my life, truly appreciate the good things I had and began to entertain new found friends. I was able to easly stop enabling those who hurt me.
I made new friend s by attending meetings ,volunteering at the school and local animal shelter and attending a book club at the Library. The program suggests that "changed attitudes" aid recovery. I discovered that my "changed attitudes" included my friends and if I wanted serenity, wisdom and the courage of the serenity prayer, I needed to be willing to let go of my destructive friends and develop new relationships and interests. It is worth it.
PS
Today's reading in the C2C is a great example. Here is the the link to Ms M. post on the subject. http://alanon.activeboard.com/t62886689/courage-to-change-1211/
Thank you Betty,I still have a long ways to go in my recovery.
Also I'm feeling much better ,seems the extraction of my tooth is getting better.along with my attitude ......(((hugs))))) lu
Hey LU - I too had to learn to just say No. It helped me to get active in meetings and the program and to fill my life/time with things - gym, lunches, movie nights, girls night, softball, golf, etc. I will not change my plans for anyone unless it's an emergency and the more time I am scheduled, the better I am - emotionally, spiritually, etc.
Positive affirmations, gratitude lists, and asset lists also helped me....One Day at a Time - we work it as best we can! You're doing great!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Your a good person, and have a great attitude. Don't let those people get to you. What I do is Give Myself quiet time, doesnt have to be long.....breath deeply and regain my calm, and know that I am going forward in my program, maybe slowly but carefully. And know that my intentions are good for all involved. If Iam cut down, I stop and look at what happened, honor my feelings and then move on.
Thank you IAH and LInSC ,IAH,that is a great idea ,staying busy I was staying busy until I had a slight setback with my tooth extraction as Hotrod has said that when we are ill ,sick ,we do get lonesome ,I had started feeling down after a few days of staying inside due to pain,but I'm now getting better Monday being a week since my extraction been on strong pain med,feeling like a big baby ,I have been lucky not to have a dry socket .Linsc ,I have to say I do need to slow down a bit and it's always good hearing that I'm going forward in my program,honoring my feelings and validating myself helps also.....thanks for all this great esh,as always.I love this Board,I love y'all ...................smiles,,,,hugs......lu
