I was so sick yesterday, I was throwing up, at my sisters house. I talked to the abf and had him pick me up so I can come home. I needed to be home. I had to leave my car behind as I could not drive. Today, I am still ill. I am still planning to leave once I am better. I confronted the abf about his ex-wife going to spend time with her on friday night as I was sick as a dog from my surgery and phonomia in left lung and he was drinking. I freaked out and said to him what if it were me doing this to you...He says I do not remember anything. I am so fed up with the lies and bs. I feel like I am talking to a dead horse. I am so angry and fed up. I am needing to just have him look after me for now and when I am better, I need to leave for good. He is totally useless. I am angry and need to stop trying to save a dead relationship that is all about him. What is wrong with me for even staying here now. I am so fed up with myself...I keep thinking, just wait till I am better...then I will be packing and leaving his sorry ass...he will be the one in pain, not me...I am just hanging on to this thought right now, the only thing keeping me going...just wait till I get better...