Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help." I get so frustrated be...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...

MissM · MissM

Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...

El · El

The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...

Crau · Crau

I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume I'm being manip...

Ozma24 · Ozma24

I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...

Patricia Lynn · Patricia Lynn

Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use. My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...

joker · joker

I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...

Doxie73 · Doxie73

My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...

a4l · a4l

I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...

Neroli · Neroli

My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...

besaco99 · besaco99

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't usually have these mostly I've suffered from nightmare directly from being born and raised in the disease. But my HP is gentle and kind now in my elder years so I either get the random nightmare or no dreams at all. Last night it was none to start with and I couldn't sleep soooo I went to the kitc...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how we make the decision that we belong in Alanon. The reading is written by someone whose daughter attends AA meetings for a few years and then makes the decision that her problem isn't truly alcoholism. The parent feels a little bit lost as to whether...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

After getting a sponsor yesterday my husband came home and put a fentanyl patch in his mouth. No trigger, nothing. He just went downstairs to do laundry and never came up. Three year old was asleep so I couldn't go looking for him. Heard sirens and saw them stop outside our building. Finally a neighbor c...

serenity47 · serenity47

I remember not so long ago when that question tormented me. Why did this happen to our family, why was I being punished ? After all, I had done all of the hard work of responsible parenting, I had survived growing up with an alcoholic and had come out unscathed (lol) so I thought. Why, why , why would ro...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

My son told me that he had been suffering from HPPD. Basically he can start hallucinating at any time. It's scary and triggers his anxiety or it can be triggered by his anxiety, chicken and egg kind of thing. He has reached out to me for help, but I'm at a loss. I'm guessing that nothing but time and abstin...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

So, the weed smell is back in H's car and he's enjoying the liquor his son gave him for his birthday last week. Working my program but feeling suspicious and watchful just the same. Left for work this a.m. and temporarily entertained the thought of looking in his console for his stash before leaving the...

megoreilly · megoreilly

I laid awake most of the night wondering who I could speak to confidentially. I then remembered this wonderful program and am so happy there is an online resource. My live in boyfriend, of 8 years, is spinning out of control. He is an admitted alcoholic, but has recently taken up with his old love, Vod...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My ex has been trying to convince me he's doing better, but he is still smoking weed all day, every day. Living on government assistance, taking money from people who are trying to help him. Now I know well enough to know his bad decisions, I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole. With all the recent hyp...

tortuga · tortuga

Helo family, it has been long since i last checked in. I am in recovery since I separated from my ABF 3 years ago, an intense but beautiful journey. So many things changed since then, and I'm still and always grateful for this group and movement. But you know, you can never escape some unpleasant facts, a...

Veronica12345 · Veronica12345

My husband is an alcoholic. He tries to hide it from me but I know when he's drinking. I know him so well I swear I can even tell by his text messages. It makes me furious. I know this won't help anything but I feel like if I ignore it things will only get worse. I'm sick of having the same argument over and ove...

joker · joker

I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution... A couple things came into mind for me, Solution for alcoholism, !. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me 2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page addresses our tendency to put the blame for our pain onto someone else. We may resist this truth, but the reality is that we are partly responsible when we take offense or feel hurt from the actions of another.The good news is this means that our mental wellbeing is not completely subject t...

MissM · MissM

I posted a couple of weeks ago that daughter and I had decided to make the most of our surroundings and treat out home as an art project of sorts rather than moan about how much we dislike it, since we are stuck here for another year at least. Here's our first project; please note I realise it is not a thing of...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Well. After a relapse last week my dry husband woke up this morning with our three year old so I could sleep in. After about an hour he was rummaging around our bedroom so I got up. He was walking into the wall, shaking, and speaking incoherently. Immediately I knew he had taken something. He cried and sai...

LinSC · LinSC

Have they worked for your qualifier and family?

unbroken13 · unbroken13

Hey all, Just venting a little...since it is my not so favorite time of year again...and I am sure it is the same for a lot of people. Al Anon has helped me live reasonably well with an Active A. However and you know there has to be a however in there.....

the horrible last 6 weeks of the year is still a s...

Fooled · Fooled

So my 24 year old son made an official announcement that he has relapsed. At first he told me by text message and then decided to tell it to my face while I was in the kitchen. He started to talking to me in that very slurred way from across the kitchen but when I said "Whaaaat are you even saying?" over the...

justanotherlostangel · justanotherlostangel

Glad I found this board. I hope to find a meeting at a good time where I live in New York, but thank goodness for the Internet! I have nobody to talk to about my boyfriend. I've unfortunately dated an alcoholic before, and have been to Al-Anon, which has me realizing how many issues I have with whom I pick...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62998049/alanon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 11 talks about our fantasies, which often includes having a great deal of money. The reading asks the question will all our problems go away if we had all the money in the world? Would money resolve the effects of alcoholism on our families, or make the drinker stop drinking...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

WHAT A WAY TO SPEND DEC. RESULTS OF MRI OF BACK INDICATES ARTHRITIS, VERY NARROWED DISC AND SPOND SOMETHING. i GET TO TRY SOME WACKY PAIN MED AND ENDURE A SPINE INJECTION ON THE 20TH WHICH IS MY GUY AND i'S 1YR ANNIVERSARY OF MEETING. i GET TO BE IN PAIN DURING THE HOLIDAYS BAH HUMBUG!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOKING...

SDB · SDB

So I've gone through the wringer with my husband the last 2 years. There have been multiple emergency hospitalizations and detoxes, the last being in the middle of October. His last relapse was a two-day bender last Thursday and Friday. He hasn't worked for more than a few weeks in the last 2 years and h...

andromeda · andromeda

Quick email here folks! I could use some positive encouragement: I am studying for my series 7 exams, which basically license me to trade securities, sell annuities and finance products. The amount of information that I am having to take in is overwhelming and I'm stumbling over concepts that I kn...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c discusses our ability to determine acceptable from unacceptable behavior. How can we possibly determine what is acceptable and what isn't when we have been living in insanity and we have no idea what we ourselves need? A 4th step inventory can help us identify our own traits that we like, t...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Today is the doctor appointment with my husband about his memory issues. He agreed that I can fill in for the doctor if he leaves anything out (30-year pot habit abandoned two months ago, recent interruption in daily alcohol consumption). I'm praying and giving this to HP. With the help of the program...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I don't know when this became my biggest hot button, but I cannot stand being talked down to (or perceiving it or being spoken to in a dismissive disrespectful tone. If I actually HAD been with or around a "rageaholic" qualifier, it would make sense to have this be such and issue, but that wasn't my cas...

El · El

Thank goodness for Alanon, because it is getting really ugly in my neck of the woods. My MIL has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and has maybe 3 months left. As would be expected, this brings up a lot of emotion, history, anxiety and dread. As my AH and sibs were brought up in an A home, the dysfunctio...

Juliexx70 · Juliexx70

I am new to this. My husband is an alcoholic. He is crazy when he drinks. He drives drunk. I want to leave but I can't financially. How on earth do I learn to just stop caring and allow him to hit rock bottom and stay sane.

Jayla · Jayla

This is my first contact with Al Anon. I know I could go to meetings in my town but I don't want to because my town is so small--there can't be any anonymity for me. I may try to go to some meetings in bigger towns when I visit my family. But will have to think of something to tell them I am doing because they don'...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Eleven, which suggests Al-Anon's public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion. The writer suggests that their first responsibility in Al-Anon is to learn to keep the focus on self and to do the best possible to li...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Hi this is kadri liisa recovering acoa and also al anon....i have been in both fellowships about 7 years and now i sometimes keep doors of al anon and acoa open in my town as groups are small here. I am 32 years old single lady. Currently my flatmate is social alcoholic and i am following and thinking what...

Aerin · Aerin

I wrote a post last Friday that I could tell ABF had been drinking a little and trying to hide it. (he started AA almost 90 days ago) Soooo obvious to me but he thinks I don't notice. Sooooo badly wanted to call him out (as he WAS getting closer to 90 days sober) but I didn't. I stuck to my lessons and said nada....

sarahGee · sarahGee

Last week in my meeting a girl mentioned focusing on drinking water each day. At the time it kind of rolled off my brain, but on the ride home I started thinking about how I don't drink enough water, or any. That eventually lead to me thinking about how little I care for myself. Simple acts, like drinking w...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think of the way I used to live while living within the insanity of the disease it makes me so grateful for Alanon. I was thinking about the things I thought were 'normal' or okay or at the very least I thought just passing phases. I must have known they weren't normal because I kept it all a secret so i...

mauigirl · mauigirl

My husband has been in recovery since May but yet he continues to act like the alcoholic he was while on the drink. He has been reaching out to his family who constantly reject him. He has been consumed with sadness and frustration because of this. I know that in Al-Anon the focus is NOT on the alcoholi...

justjenna · justjenna

Hi, first time here. Haven't talked to anyone yet about this. DH is 75 yo, grew up with functioning alcoholics. Drank heavily when we were first married - but socially. Didn't drink for years and years. Our social set was mostly church folk and we really weren't around drinkers. This summer he s...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Having recently been through a tough period of growth and out pouring of inner poison that had been stuck inside me festering and rotting. Stinking! I wanted to share that now a few days later a great feeling of lightness, cleanliness has settled in. Like I have scrubbed out the muck and dirt inside me....

MegV · MegV

So I am a spouse of an alcoholic who in July spent 10 days in the ICU with an esophageal varices and found out he also has cirrhosis of the liver. He almost died! He spent 5 days in rehab then left remained sober for about 6 weeks. Unfortunately one of his doctors told him he was looking great "like nothing...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Our daily reading today is about taking care of self and allowing the alcoholic to do as they need to for their own journey. I love the quote ---- "The suffering you are trying to ease....may be the very thing needed to bring the alcoholic to a realization of the seriousness of the situation -- literall...

Kim C · Kim C

I wanted to share a positive experience I had recently. My 15 year old son exhibits all of the signs of being an alcoholic....without drinking. He recently had a really bad morning during which he was upset to the point of ridiculous over a very minor issue. The skills I have learned in Al-Anon and fr...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

It's double value day in ODAT: two outstanding quotes to choose from. Both point the way to a peaceful day through patience, warmth, and respect.The first is in the poetic style of Max Ehrmann:"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible wit...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 17/12 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...	MissM	1	518	Dec 17, 2016 by hotrod
	"He needs rehab" and stuff others tell me (Preview) Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help." I get so frustrated be...	Prissykitty	8	1052	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Someone said it, I lost it! (Preview) Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...	Bethany66	6	573	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's been using this entire time (Preview) After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...	Prissykitty	10	552	Dec 16, 2016 by Prissykitty
	HP's Will my Will .. (Preview) The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...	SerenityRUS	11	555	Dec 16, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Anyone else get this PM? Please be sure to disregard it. I know, der but you never know. (Preview) Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...	MissM	10	3159	Dec 16, 2016 by MeTwo2
	4th step question (Preview) The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...	El	2	515	Dec 16, 2016 by El
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/16/16 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...	Iamhere	1	424	Dec 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Trust (Preview) I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume I'm being manip...	Crau	16	1333	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	My story - In desperate need of advice (Preview) I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...	Ozma24	4	585	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/15/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...	Iamhere	4	434	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	New & needing advice (Preview) Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use. My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...	Patricia Lynn	6	531	Dec 15, 2016 by LinSC
	12/14/16 Hope for Today (Preview) Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...	Enigmatic	6	606	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	then and now (Preview) I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...	joker	7	458	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Opinions re: Crying (Preview) I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...	Suburban Denizen	13	882	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to talk...rehab/affairs 13th step infedelity cheating 30 day (Preview) My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...	Doxie73	4	5895	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	a working woman again (Preview) I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...	a4l	6	449	Dec 14, 2016 by a4l
	Addict/alcoholic son living with me, I'm drowning (Preview) My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...	Neroli	8	538	Dec 13, 2016 by Freetime
	What Do I DO? (first post) (Preview) I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...	besaco99	8	560	Dec 13, 2016 by DavidG
	Recovery Dreams (Preview) I don't usually have these mostly I've suffered from nightmare directly from being born and raised in the disease. But my HP is gentle and kind now in my elder years so I either get the random nightmare or no dreams at all. Last night it was none to start with and I couldn't sleep soooo I went to the kitc...	Jerry F	7	703	Dec 13, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Dec 13 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how we make the decision that we belong in Alanon. The reading is written by someone whose daughter attends AA meetings for a few years and then makes the decision that her problem isn't truly alcoholism. The parent feels a little bit lost as to whether...	yanksfan51	6	491	Dec 13, 2016 by Maresie25
	He could be dead (Preview) After getting a sponsor yesterday my husband came home and put a fentanyl patch in his mouth. No trigger, nothing. He just went downstairs to do laundry and never came up. Three year old was asleep so I couldn't go looking for him. Heard sirens and saw them stop outside our building. Finally a neighbor c...	Prissykitty	11	521	Dec 13, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Why me? (Preview) I remember not so long ago when that question tormented me. Why did this happen to our family, why was I being punished ? After all, I had done all of the hard work of responsible parenting, I had survived growing up with an alcoholic and had come out unscathed (lol) so I thought. Why, why , why would ro...	serenity47	3	469	Dec 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Anyone heard of HPPD? (Preview) My son told me that he had been suffering from HPPD. Basically he can start hallucinating at any time. It's scary and triggers his anxiety or it can be triggered by his anxiety, chicken and egg kind of thing. He has reached out to me for help, but I'm at a loss. I'm guessing that nothing but time and abstin...	themoonandthestars	2	539	Dec 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Saved myself a very awkward moment (Preview) So, the weed smell is back in H's car and he's enjoying the liquor his son gave him for his birthday last week. Working my program but feeling suspicious and watchful just the same. Left for work this a.m. and temporarily entertained the thought of looking in his console for his stash before leaving the...	Mcat54	3	480	Dec 12, 2016 by Jen
	First Post, please, I need an ear. Live in boyfriend is becoming paranoid/delusional when and after drinking. (Preview) I laid awake most of the night wondering who I could speak to confidentially. I then remembered this wonderful program and am so happy there is an online resource. My live in boyfriend, of 8 years, is spinning out of control. He is an admitted alcoholic, but has recently taken up with his old love, Vod...	megoreilly	14	612	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	The alcoholic and marijuana (Preview) My ex has been trying to convince me he's doing better, but he is still smoking weed all day, every day. Living on government assistance, taking money from people who are trying to help him. Now I know well enough to know his bad decisions, I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole. With all the recent hyp...	sarahGee	8	1112	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	how to deal with close people in denial? (Preview) Helo family, it has been long since i last checked in. I am in recovery since I separated from my ABF 3 years ago, an intense but beautiful journey. So many things changed since then, and I'm still and always grateful for this group and movement. But you know, you can never escape some unpleasant facts, a...	tortuga	6	525	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	Can't stop feeling angry about his drinking (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. He tries to hide it from me but I know when he's drinking. I know him so well I swear I can even tell by his text messages. It makes me furious. I know this won't help anything but I feel like if I ignore it things will only get worse. I'm sick of having the same argument over and ove...	Veronica12345	8	574	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	Focus (Preview) I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution... A couple things came into mind for me, Solution for alcoholism, !. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me 2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking...	joker	4	537	Dec 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	12/12/16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page addresses our tendency to put the blame for our pain onto someone else. We may resist this truth, but the reality is that we are partly responsible when we take offense or feel hurt from the actions of another.The good news is this means that our mental wellbeing is not completely subject t...	Enigmatic	6	1322	Dec 12, 2016 by akk
	Garden project. (Preview) I posted a couple of weeks ago that daughter and I had decided to make the most of our surroundings and treat out home as an art project of sorts rather than moan about how much we dislike it, since we are stuck here for another year at least. Here's our first project; please note I realise it is not a thing of...	MissM	6	480	Dec 12, 2016 by KT2015
	He got a sponsor (Preview) Well. After a relapse last week my dry husband woke up this morning with our three year old so I could sleep in. After about an hour he was rummaging around our bedroom so I got up. He was walking into the wall, shaking, and speaking incoherently. Immediately I knew he had taken something. He cried and sai...	Prissykitty	9	478	Dec 12, 2016 by serenity47
	Your experience with interventions? (Preview) Have they worked for your qualifier and family?	LinSC	15	693	Dec 12, 2016 by Crau
	That time of year again (Preview) Hey all, Just venting a little...since it is my not so favorite time of year again...and I am sure it is the same for a lot of people. Al Anon has helped me live reasonably well with an Active A. However and you know there has to be a however in there..... the horrible last 6 weeks of the year is still a s...	unbroken13	3	2279	Dec 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Relapse of Son (Preview) So my 24 year old son made an official announcement that he has relapsed. At first he told me by text message and then decided to tell it to my face while I was in the kitchen. He started to talking to me in that very slurred way from across the kitchen but when I said "Whaaaat are you even saying?" over the...	Fooled	21	730	Dec 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	new member in Exhaustion Central feeling so alone. panic (Preview) Glad I found this board. I hope to find a meeting at a good time where I live in New York, but thank goodness for the Internet! I have nobody to talk to about my boyfriend. I've unfortunately dated an alcoholic before, and have been to Al-Anon, which has me realizing how many issues I have with whom I pick...	justanotherlostangel	3	527	Dec 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	Step 8 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62998049/alanon...	hotrod	0	490	Dec 11, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change Reading 12-11-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 11 talks about our fantasies, which often includes having a great deal of money. The reading asks the question will all our problems go away if we had all the money in the world? Would money resolve the effects of alcoholism on our families, or make the drinker stop drinking...	hotrod	4	684	Dec 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	OFF TOPIC-MY BACK (Preview) WHAT A WAY TO SPEND DEC. RESULTS OF MRI OF BACK INDICATES ARTHRITIS, VERY NARROWED DISC AND SPOND SOMETHING. i GET TO TRY SOME WACKY PAIN MED AND ENDURE A SPINE INJECTION ON THE 20TH WHICH IS MY GUY AND i'S 1YR ANNIVERSARY OF MEETING. i GET TO BE IN PAIN DURING THE HOLIDAYS BAH HUMBUG!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOKING...	YARNCRAZY	6	435	Dec 11, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	What's your process when LO is actively drinking? (Preview) So I've gone through the wringer with my husband the last 2 years. There have been multiple emergency hospitalizations and detoxes, the last being in the middle of October. His last relapse was a two-day bender last Thursday and Friday. He hasn't worked for more than a few weeks in the last 2 years and h...	SDB	8	614	Dec 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Encouragement and support (Preview) Quick email here folks! I could use some positive encouragement: I am studying for my series 7 exams, which basically license me to trade securities, sell annuities and finance products. The amount of information that I am having to take in is overwhelming and I'm stumbling over concepts that I kn...	andromeda	9	784	Dec 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 10/12 (Preview) Todays c2c discusses our ability to determine acceptable from unacceptable behavior. How can we possibly determine what is acceptable and what isn't when we have been living in insanity and we have no idea what we ourselves need? A 4th step inventory can help us identify our own traits that we like, t...	MissM	2	447	Dec 10, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Consult about memory issues (Preview) Today is the doctor appointment with my husband about his memory issues. He agreed that I can fill in for the doctor if he leaves anything out (30-year pot habit abandoned two months ago, recent interruption in daily alcohol consumption). I'm praying and giving this to HP. With the help of the program...	Mcat54	13	734	Dec 10, 2016 by Mcat54
	You can't talk to me like that! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I don't know when this became my biggest hot button, but I cannot stand being talked down to (or perceiving it or being spoken to in a dismissive disrespectful tone. If I actually HAD been with or around a "rageaholic" qualifier, it would make sense to have this be such and issue, but that wasn't my cas...	pinkchip	50	1466	Dec 9, 2016 by LinSC
	Thank goodness, because.... (Preview) Thank goodness for Alanon, because it is getting really ugly in my neck of the woods. My MIL has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and has maybe 3 months left. As would be expected, this brings up a lot of emotion, history, anxiety and dread. As my AH and sibs were brought up in an A home, the dysfunctio...	El	6	498	Dec 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Help (Preview) I am new to this. My husband is an alcoholic. He is crazy when he drinks. He drives drunk. I want to leave but I can't financially. How on earth do I learn to just stop caring and allow him to hit rock bottom and stay sane.	Juliexx70	7	442	Dec 9, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Alcohol Before All (Preview) This is my first contact with Al Anon. I know I could go to meetings in my town but I don't want to because my town is so small--there can't be any anonymity for me. I may try to go to some meetings in bigger towns when I visit my family. But will have to think of something to tell them I am doing because they don'...	Jayla	29	843	Dec 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/9/16 (Preview) Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Eleven, which suggests Al-Anon's public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion. The writer suggests that their first responsibility in Al-Anon is to learn to keep the focus on self and to do the best possible to li...	Iamhere	1	403	Dec 9, 2016 by hotrod
	flatmate of alcoholic and acoa (Preview) Hi this is kadri liisa recovering acoa and also al anon....i have been in both fellowships about 7 years and now i sometimes keep doors of al anon and acoa open in my town as groups are small here. I am 32 years old single lady. Currently my flatmate is social alcoholic and i am following and thinking what...	kadriliisa	8	674	Dec 9, 2016 by kadriliisa
	And the sneaking continues.. (Preview) I wrote a post last Friday that I could tell ABF had been drinking a little and trying to hide it. (he started AA almost 90 days ago) Soooo obvious to me but he thinks I don't notice. Sooooo badly wanted to call him out (as he WAS getting closer to 90 days sober) but I didn't. I stuck to my lessons and said nada....	Aerin	30	733	Dec 9, 2016 by Maresie25
	Self Care (Preview) Last week in my meeting a girl mentioned focusing on drinking water each day. At the time it kind of rolled off my brain, but on the ride home I started thinking about how I don't drink enough water, or any. That eventually lead to me thinking about how little I care for myself. Simple acts, like drinking w...	sarahGee	11	869	Dec 8, 2016 by kadriliisa
	The depths of my disease (Preview) When I think of the way I used to live while living within the insanity of the disease it makes me so grateful for Alanon. I was thinking about the things I thought were 'normal' or okay or at the very least I thought just passing phases. I must have known they weren't normal because I kept it all a secret so i...	el-cee	8	679	Dec 8, 2016 by Jill
	An alcoholic in recovery is the same as an alcoholic minus the drink (Preview) My husband has been in recovery since May but yet he continues to act like the alcoholic he was while on the drink. He has been reaching out to his family who constantly reject him. He has been consumed with sadness and frustration because of this. I know that in Al-Anon the focus is NOT on the alcoholi...	mauigirl	9	578	Dec 8, 2016 by sarahGee
	First time here (Preview) Hi, first time here. Haven't talked to anyone yet about this. DH is 75 yo, grew up with functioning alcoholics. Drank heavily when we were first married - but socially. Didn't drink for years and years. Our social set was mostly church folk and we really weren't around drinkers. This summer he s...	justjenna	11	466	Dec 8, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Very grateful (Preview) Having recently been through a tough period of growth and out pouring of inner poison that had been stuck inside me festering and rotting. Stinking! I wanted to share that now a few days later a great feeling of lightness, cleanliness has settled in. Like I have scrubbed out the muck and dirt inside me....	Calm Lady	3	427	Dec 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Choosing Alcohol over everything.. (Preview) So I am a spouse of an alcoholic who in July spent 10 days in the ICU with an esophageal varices and found out he also has cirrhosis of the liver. He almost died! He spent 5 days in rehab then left remained sober for about 6 weeks. Unfortunately one of his doctors told him he was looking great "like nothing...	MegV	7	554	Dec 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/8/16 (Preview) Our daily reading today is about taking care of self and allowing the alcoholic to do as they need to for their own journey. I love the quote ---- "The suffering you are trying to ease....may be the very thing needed to bring the alcoholic to a realization of the seriousness of the situation -- literall...	Iamhere	1	372	Dec 8, 2016 by hotrod
	It works if you work it! Amazed! (Preview) I wanted to share a positive experience I had recently. My 15 year old son exhibits all of the signs of being an alcoholic....without drinking. He recently had a really bad morning during which he was upset to the point of ridiculous over a very minor issue. The skills I have learned in Al-Anon and fr...	Kim C	5	436	Dec 8, 2016 by Calm Lady
	12-7-16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) It's double value day in ODAT: two outstanding quotes to choose from. Both point the way to a peaceful day through patience, warmth, and respect.The first is in the poetic style of Max Ehrmann:"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible wit...	Enigmatic	4	565	Dec 7, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.