Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

joker · joker

I am going home for the holidays-for 4 days only. I will be going with my abf and driving 9 hours. He will be sober, so he says. I will be going home and spending time with my mother who is an active alcoholic. Dear god help me...I know I can and will walk away if the situation becomes intolerable. I have a plan...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

My father (The Alcoholic) invited me over for dinner on xmas day. I said sure, no problem. I'm somewhat looking forward to it but at the same time, I am completely dreading it. I know it will likely be the last one in that house and he prepares to sell it in the spring and blows any and all profit he gets out of...

a4l · a4l

I am and its been ages and it feels great! This year, Miss almost 4 is fully conversant in social norms including holidays. In turn, so is her two year old sister ( who also happens to be her most adoring fan). She has already devised her Christmas strategy, first asking what day it falls on, and how many da...

Crau · Crau

That's what today was...I don't like tests and I'm not sure I passed. But as I sit here on this board with my "one day at a time in al-anon" book in front of me, I know at least if I didn't pass this time, I'll have better tools next time. I was trying to find a passage by the topic I was searching for today and the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to say that I am not proud of the fact that I have ducked out of Alanon a lot lately. My recovery is at a standstill. No growth but hanging in there. I know how much I miss you all. I am not in real bad shape but I need some really good meetings. We have currently no meetings in our small town. Hardly anyone...

Jayla · Jayla

Would it be all right if sometimes I just post and ask whoever is on here to talk to me sometimes? It's just so hard when the AH already works nights and then refuses to come home for hours and hours after work (staying out drinking). Sometimes I just feel desperate for someone to talk to ME. And I can't go to...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about the old saying trust in God and tie your camel to a tree. The reading suggests that this is a way of saying that we must do the footwork and HP will do the rest ". We must first trust HP because trusting is a way of affirming that we are willing to be receptive to...

joker · joker

On Friday night, I really wanted a drink of wine, just 2 glasses. I told the alcoholic to get me a bottle of wine. He did, along with his vodka and beer, which he gladly drank all night. I went to bed after my wine and he stayed up himself, talking to himself and watching TV. I was grateful he did not keep me awa...

a4l · a4l

Its been a challenging and emotional week. Learning a new skill, juggling the kids and lots of transitions. Over the last year my relationship with my autistic son has really come to life. Of all five of my kids, he was the one i struggled to connect with from day one. Emotionally, something just wasn't...

MissM · MissM

Well I can't say it's the happiest start to a summer holiday I've ever had but then, I think back and remember, this time last year I had a broken foot and was about to embark on a 4 month series of epic voyages between my bathroom and my couch, in a moon-boot. Paddling with my crutches. What a summer. By comp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a situation come up with my boyfriend the other evening and while there is one part of me that is satisfied with how I handled it there is another part that is uncomfortable. Part of me being uncomfortable is the fact I did not want to act out as I had in the past (meaning how I behaved during my marriag...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am excited that my parents arrive today for just shy of 2 weeks! They are coming from AZ to KS and they are coming with a bunch of extreme cold temperatures + deadly ice/snow. Please send prayers for a safe and uneventful travel day for them. I will be around less while they are here. As they are 82, eac...

Rider · Rider

Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards but an Al-Anon member for over a year. Although I have a sponser, I chose to work my 5th step with "another human being". They are not happy about this and are almost insistant that I do it with them. I proposed this question back in the Spring to another long-time memb...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help." I get so frustrated be...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...

MissM · MissM

Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...

El · El

The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...

Crau · Crau

I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume I'm being manip...

Ozma24 · Ozma24

I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...

Patricia Lynn · Patricia Lynn

Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use. My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...

joker · joker

I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...

Doxie73 · Doxie73

My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...

a4l · a4l

I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...

Neroli · Neroli

My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...

besaco99 · besaco99

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I don't usually have these mostly I've suffered from nightmare directly from being born and raised in the disease. But my HP is gentle and kind now in my elder years so I either get the random nightmare or no dreams at all. Last night it was none to start with and I couldn't sleep soooo I went to the kitc...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how we make the decision that we belong in Alanon. The reading is written by someone whose daughter attends AA meetings for a few years and then makes the decision that her problem isn't truly alcoholism. The parent feels a little bit lost as to whether...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

After getting a sponsor yesterday my husband came home and put a fentanyl patch in his mouth. No trigger, nothing. He just went downstairs to do laundry and never came up. Three year old was asleep so I couldn't go looking for him. Heard sirens and saw them stop outside our building. Finally a neighbor c...

serenity47 · serenity47

I remember not so long ago when that question tormented me. Why did this happen to our family, why was I being punished ? After all, I had done all of the hard work of responsible parenting, I had survived growing up with an alcoholic and had come out unscathed (lol) so I thought. Why, why , why would ro...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

My son told me that he had been suffering from HPPD. Basically he can start hallucinating at any time. It's scary and triggers his anxiety or it can be triggered by his anxiety, chicken and egg kind of thing. He has reached out to me for help, but I'm at a loss. I'm guessing that nothing but time and abstin...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

So, the weed smell is back in H's car and he's enjoying the liquor his son gave him for his birthday last week. Working my program but feeling suspicious and watchful just the same. Left for work this a.m. and temporarily entertained the thought of looking in his console for his stash before leaving the...

megoreilly · megoreilly

I laid awake most of the night wondering who I could speak to confidentially. I then remembered this wonderful program and am so happy there is an online resource. My live in boyfriend, of 8 years, is spinning out of control. He is an admitted alcoholic, but has recently taken up with his old love, Vod...

sarahGee · sarahGee

My ex has been trying to convince me he's doing better, but he is still smoking weed all day, every day. Living on government assistance, taking money from people who are trying to help him. Now I know well enough to know his bad decisions, I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole. With all the recent hyp...

tortuga · tortuga

Helo family, it has been long since i last checked in. I am in recovery since I separated from my ABF 3 years ago, an intense but beautiful journey. So many things changed since then, and I'm still and always grateful for this group and movement. But you know, you can never escape some unpleasant facts, a...

Veronica12345 · Veronica12345

My husband is an alcoholic. He tries to hide it from me but I know when he's drinking. I know him so well I swear I can even tell by his text messages. It makes me furious. I know this won't help anything but I feel like if I ignore it things will only get worse. I'm sick of having the same argument over and ove...

joker · joker

I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution... A couple things came into mind for me, Solution for alcoholism, !. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me 2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page addresses our tendency to put the blame for our pain onto someone else. We may resist this truth, but the reality is that we are partly responsible when we take offense or feel hurt from the actions of another.The good news is this means that our mental wellbeing is not completely subject t...

MissM · MissM

I posted a couple of weeks ago that daughter and I had decided to make the most of our surroundings and treat out home as an art project of sorts rather than moan about how much we dislike it, since we are stuck here for another year at least. Here's our first project; please note I realise it is not a thing of...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Well. After a relapse last week my dry husband woke up this morning with our three year old so I could sleep in. After about an hour he was rummaging around our bedroom so I got up. He was walking into the wall, shaking, and speaking incoherently. Immediately I knew he had taken something. He cried and sai...

LinSC · LinSC

Have they worked for your qualifier and family?

unbroken13 · unbroken13

Hey all, Just venting a little...since it is my not so favorite time of year again...and I am sure it is the same for a lot of people. Al Anon has helped me live reasonably well with an Active A. However and you know there has to be a however in there.....

the horrible last 6 weeks of the year is still a s...

Fooled · Fooled

So my 24 year old son made an official announcement that he has relapsed. At first he told me by text message and then decided to tell it to my face while I was in the kitchen. He started to talking to me in that very slurred way from across the kitchen but when I said "Whaaaat are you even saying?" over the...

justanotherlostangel · justanotherlostangel

Glad I found this board. I hope to find a meeting at a good time where I live in New York, but thank goodness for the Internet! I have nobody to talk to about my boyfriend. I've unfortunately dated an alcoholic before, and have been to Al-Anon, which has me realizing how many issues I have with whom I pick...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62998049/alanon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 11 talks about our fantasies, which often includes having a great deal of money. The reading asks the question will all our problems go away if we had all the money in the world? Would money resolve the effects of alcoholism on our families, or make the drinker stop drinking...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

WHAT A WAY TO SPEND DEC. RESULTS OF MRI OF BACK INDICATES ARTHRITIS, VERY NARROWED DISC AND SPOND SOMETHING. i GET TO TRY SOME WACKY PAIN MED AND ENDURE A SPINE INJECTION ON THE 20TH WHICH IS MY GUY AND i'S 1YR ANNIVERSARY OF MEETING. i GET TO BE IN PAIN DURING THE HOLIDAYS BAH HUMBUG!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOKING...

SDB · SDB

So I've gone through the wringer with my husband the last 2 years. There have been multiple emergency hospitalizations and detoxes, the last being in the middle of October. His last relapse was a two-day bender last Thursday and Friday. He hasn't worked for more than a few weeks in the last 2 years and h...

andromeda · andromeda

Quick email here folks! I could use some positive encouragement: I am studying for my series 7 exams, which basically license me to trade securities, sell annuities and finance products. The amount of information that I am having to take in is overwhelming and I'm stumbling over concepts that I kn...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c discusses our ability to determine acceptable from unacceptable behavior. How can we possibly determine what is acceptable and what isn't when we have been living in insanity and we have no idea what we ourselves need? A 4th step inventory can help us identify our own traits that we like, t...

Mcat54 · Mcat54

Today is the doctor appointment with my husband about his memory issues. He agreed that I can fill in for the doctor if he leaves anything out (30-year pot habit abandoned two months ago, recent interruption in daily alcohol consumption). I'm praying and giving this to HP. With the help of the program...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I don't know when this became my biggest hot button, but I cannot stand being talked down to (or perceiving it or being spoken to in a dismissive disrespectful tone. If I actually HAD been with or around a "rageaholic" qualifier, it would make sense to have this be such and issue, but that wasn't my cas...

El · El

Thank goodness for Alanon, because it is getting really ugly in my neck of the woods. My MIL has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and has maybe 3 months left. As would be expected, this brings up a lot of emotion, history, anxiety and dread. As my AH and sibs were brought up in an A home, the dysfunctio...

Juliexx70 · Juliexx70

I am new to this. My husband is an alcoholic. He is crazy when he drinks. He drives drunk. I want to leave but I can't financially. How on earth do I learn to just stop caring and allow him to hit rock bottom and stay sane.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	road trip (Preview) I am going home for the holidays-for 4 days only. I will be going with my abf and driving 9 hours. He will be sober, so he says. I will be going home and spending time with my mother who is an active alcoholic. Dear god help me...I know I can and will walk away if the situation becomes intolerable. I have a plan...	joker	5	578	Dec 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's so tough to watch (Preview) My father (The Alcoholic) invited me over for dinner on xmas day. I said sure, no problem. I'm somewhat looking forward to it but at the same time, I am completely dreading it. I know it will likely be the last one in that house and he prepares to sell it in the spring and blows any and all profit he gets out of...	slogan_jim	5	609	Dec 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	anyone else feeling the Christmas excitement? (Preview) I am and its been ages and it feels great! This year, Miss almost 4 is fully conversant in social norms including holidays. In turn, so is her two year old sister ( who also happens to be her most adoring fan). She has already devised her Christmas strategy, first asking what day it falls on, and how many da...	a4l	4	758	Dec 19, 2016 by el-cee
	A test of my sanity (Preview) That's what today was...I don't like tests and I'm not sure I passed. But as I sit here on this board with my "one day at a time in al-anon" book in front of me, I know at least if I didn't pass this time, I'll have better tools next time. I was trying to find a passage by the topic I was searching for today and the...	Crau	3	2549	Dec 19, 2016 by el-cee
	It has been a long time... (Preview) I have to say that I am not proud of the fact that I have ducked out of Alanon a lot lately. My recovery is at a standstill. No growth but hanging in there. I know how much I miss you all. I am not in real bad shape but I need some really good meetings. We have currently no meetings in our small town. Hardly anyone...	Hoot Nanny	4	480	Dec 19, 2016 by el-cee
	Talk? (Preview) Would it be all right if sometimes I just post and ask whoever is on here to talk to me sometimes? It's just so hard when the AH already works nights and then refuses to come home for hours and hours after work (staying out drinking). Sometimes I just feel desperate for someone to talk to ME. And I can't go to...	Jayla	6	562	Dec 19, 2016 by Jayla
	Courage to change 12-18-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about the old saying trust in God and tie your camel to a tree. The reading suggests that this is a way of saying that we must do the footwork and HP will do the rest ". We must first trust HP because trusting is a way of affirming that we are willing to be receptive to...	hotrod	5	630	Dec 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress forward (Preview) On Friday night, I really wanted a drink of wine, just 2 glasses. I told the alcoholic to get me a bottle of wine. He did, along with his vodka and beer, which he gladly drank all night. I went to bed after my wine and he stayed up himself, talking to himself and watching TV. I was grateful he did not keep me awa...	joker	3	533	Dec 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	bit of a babble (Preview) Its been a challenging and emotional week. Learning a new skill, juggling the kids and lots of transitions. Over the last year my relationship with my autistic son has really come to life. Of all five of my kids, he was the one i struggled to connect with from day one. Emotionally, something just wasn't...	a4l	9	594	Dec 18, 2016 by a4l
	Holidays with my imaginary friends. (Preview) Well I can't say it's the happiest start to a summer holiday I've ever had but then, I think back and remember, this time last year I had a broken foot and was about to embark on a 4 month series of epic voyages between my bathroom and my couch, in a moon-boot. Paddling with my crutches. What a summer. By comp...	MissM	5	647	Dec 18, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Healing and Perspective (Preview) I had a situation come up with my boyfriend the other evening and while there is one part of me that is satisfied with how I handled it there is another part that is uncomfortable. Part of me being uncomfortable is the fact I did not want to act out as I had in the past (meaning how I behaved during my marriag...	SerenityRUS	3	592	Dec 17, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	And....here they come! (Preview) I am excited that my parents arrive today for just shy of 2 weeks! They are coming from AZ to KS and they are coming with a bunch of extreme cold temperatures + deadly ice/snow. Please send prayers for a safe and uneventful travel day for them. I will be around less while they are here. As they are 82, eac...	Iamhere	4	566	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need 5th step clarification (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards but an Al-Anon member for over a year. Although I have a sponser, I chose to work my 5th step with "another human being". They are not happy about this and are almost insistant that I do it with them. I proposed this question back in the Spring to another long-time memb...	Rider	7	2747	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 17/12 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...	MissM	1	580	Dec 17, 2016 by hotrod
	"He needs rehab" and stuff others tell me (Preview) Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help." I get so frustrated be...	Prissykitty	8	1200	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Someone said it, I lost it! (Preview) Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...	Bethany66	6	622	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's been using this entire time (Preview) After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...	Prissykitty	10	621	Dec 16, 2016 by Prissykitty
	HP's Will my Will .. (Preview) The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...	SerenityRUS	11	611	Dec 16, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Anyone else get this PM? Please be sure to disregard it. I know, der but you never know. (Preview) Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...	MissM	10	3367	Dec 16, 2016 by MeTwo2
	4th step question (Preview) The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...	El	2	571	Dec 16, 2016 by El
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/16/16 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...	Iamhere	1	473	Dec 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Trust (Preview) I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume I'm being manip...	Crau	16	1406	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	My story - In desperate need of advice (Preview) I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...	Ozma24	4	668	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/15/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...	Iamhere	4	483	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	New & needing advice (Preview) Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use. My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...	Patricia Lynn	6	583	Dec 15, 2016 by LinSC
	12/14/16 Hope for Today (Preview) Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...	Enigmatic	6	665	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	then and now (Preview) I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...	joker	7	513	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Opinions re: Crying (Preview) I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...	Suburban Denizen	13	985	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to talk...rehab/affairs 13th step infedelity cheating 30 day (Preview) My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...	Doxie73	4	6442	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	a working woman again (Preview) I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...	a4l	6	505	Dec 14, 2016 by a4l
	Addict/alcoholic son living with me, I'm drowning (Preview) My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...	Neroli	8	605	Dec 13, 2016 by Freetime
	What Do I DO? (first post) (Preview) I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...	besaco99	8	626	Dec 13, 2016 by DavidG
	Recovery Dreams (Preview) I don't usually have these mostly I've suffered from nightmare directly from being born and raised in the disease. But my HP is gentle and kind now in my elder years so I either get the random nightmare or no dreams at all. Last night it was none to start with and I couldn't sleep soooo I went to the kitc...	Jerry F	7	757	Dec 13, 2016 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Dec 13 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about how we make the decision that we belong in Alanon. The reading is written by someone whose daughter attends AA meetings for a few years and then makes the decision that her problem isn't truly alcoholism. The parent feels a little bit lost as to whether...	yanksfan51	6	547	Dec 13, 2016 by Maresie25
	He could be dead (Preview) After getting a sponsor yesterday my husband came home and put a fentanyl patch in his mouth. No trigger, nothing. He just went downstairs to do laundry and never came up. Three year old was asleep so I couldn't go looking for him. Heard sirens and saw them stop outside our building. Finally a neighbor c...	Prissykitty	11	573	Dec 13, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Why me? (Preview) I remember not so long ago when that question tormented me. Why did this happen to our family, why was I being punished ? After all, I had done all of the hard work of responsible parenting, I had survived growing up with an alcoholic and had come out unscathed (lol) so I thought. Why, why , why would ro...	serenity47	3	520	Dec 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Anyone heard of HPPD? (Preview) My son told me that he had been suffering from HPPD. Basically he can start hallucinating at any time. It's scary and triggers his anxiety or it can be triggered by his anxiety, chicken and egg kind of thing. He has reached out to me for help, but I'm at a loss. I'm guessing that nothing but time and abstin...	themoonandthestars	2	593	Dec 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	Saved myself a very awkward moment (Preview) So, the weed smell is back in H's car and he's enjoying the liquor his son gave him for his birthday last week. Working my program but feeling suspicious and watchful just the same. Left for work this a.m. and temporarily entertained the thought of looking in his console for his stash before leaving the...	Mcat54	3	533	Dec 12, 2016 by Jen
	First Post, please, I need an ear. Live in boyfriend is becoming paranoid/delusional when and after drinking. (Preview) I laid awake most of the night wondering who I could speak to confidentially. I then remembered this wonderful program and am so happy there is an online resource. My live in boyfriend, of 8 years, is spinning out of control. He is an admitted alcoholic, but has recently taken up with his old love, Vod...	megoreilly	14	680	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	The alcoholic and marijuana (Preview) My ex has been trying to convince me he's doing better, but he is still smoking weed all day, every day. Living on government assistance, taking money from people who are trying to help him. Now I know well enough to know his bad decisions, I don't want to touch with a 10 foot pole. With all the recent hyp...	sarahGee	8	1227	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	how to deal with close people in denial? (Preview) Helo family, it has been long since i last checked in. I am in recovery since I separated from my ABF 3 years ago, an intense but beautiful journey. So many things changed since then, and I'm still and always grateful for this group and movement. But you know, you can never escape some unpleasant facts, a...	tortuga	6	590	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	Can't stop feeling angry about his drinking (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. He tries to hide it from me but I know when he's drinking. I know him so well I swear I can even tell by his text messages. It makes me furious. I know this won't help anything but I feel like if I ignore it things will only get worse. I'm sick of having the same argument over and ove...	Veronica12345	8	643	Dec 12, 2016 by Maresie25
	Focus (Preview) I was just reading al-anon literature this morning and I had to share my insight... Dont focus on the problem but instead focus on the solution... A couple things came into mind for me, Solution for alcoholism, !. Focus on self and what is best intrest for me 2. Walk away from the craziness, be it talking...	joker	4	592	Dec 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	12/12/16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page addresses our tendency to put the blame for our pain onto someone else. We may resist this truth, but the reality is that we are partly responsible when we take offense or feel hurt from the actions of another.The good news is this means that our mental wellbeing is not completely subject t...	Enigmatic	6	1383	Dec 12, 2016 by akk
	Garden project. (Preview) I posted a couple of weeks ago that daughter and I had decided to make the most of our surroundings and treat out home as an art project of sorts rather than moan about how much we dislike it, since we are stuck here for another year at least. Here's our first project; please note I realise it is not a thing of...	MissM	6	532	Dec 12, 2016 by KT2015
	He got a sponsor (Preview) Well. After a relapse last week my dry husband woke up this morning with our three year old so I could sleep in. After about an hour he was rummaging around our bedroom so I got up. He was walking into the wall, shaking, and speaking incoherently. Immediately I knew he had taken something. He cried and sai...	Prissykitty	9	535	Dec 12, 2016 by serenity47
	Your experience with interventions? (Preview) Have they worked for your qualifier and family?	LinSC	15	753	Dec 12, 2016 by Crau
	That time of year again (Preview) Hey all, Just venting a little...since it is my not so favorite time of year again...and I am sure it is the same for a lot of people. Al Anon has helped me live reasonably well with an Active A. However and you know there has to be a however in there..... the horrible last 6 weeks of the year is still a s...	unbroken13	3	2456	Dec 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Relapse of Son (Preview) So my 24 year old son made an official announcement that he has relapsed. At first he told me by text message and then decided to tell it to my face while I was in the kitchen. He started to talking to me in that very slurred way from across the kitchen but when I said "Whaaaat are you even saying?" over the...	Fooled	21	791	Dec 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	new member in Exhaustion Central feeling so alone. panic (Preview) Glad I found this board. I hope to find a meeting at a good time where I live in New York, but thank goodness for the Internet! I have nobody to talk to about my boyfriend. I've unfortunately dated an alcoholic before, and have been to Al-Anon, which has me realizing how many issues I have with whom I pick...	justanotherlostangel	3	583	Dec 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	Step 8 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t62998049/alanon...	hotrod	0	569	Dec 11, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage To Change Reading 12-11-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 11 talks about our fantasies, which often includes having a great deal of money. The reading asks the question will all our problems go away if we had all the money in the world? Would money resolve the effects of alcoholism on our families, or make the drinker stop drinking...	hotrod	4	770	Dec 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	OFF TOPIC-MY BACK (Preview) WHAT A WAY TO SPEND DEC. RESULTS OF MRI OF BACK INDICATES ARTHRITIS, VERY NARROWED DISC AND SPOND SOMETHING. i GET TO TRY SOME WACKY PAIN MED AND ENDURE A SPINE INJECTION ON THE 20TH WHICH IS MY GUY AND i'S 1YR ANNIVERSARY OF MEETING. i GET TO BE IN PAIN DURING THE HOLIDAYS BAH HUMBUG!!!!!!!!!!!! LOOKING...	YARNCRAZY	6	491	Dec 11, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	What's your process when LO is actively drinking? (Preview) So I've gone through the wringer with my husband the last 2 years. There have been multiple emergency hospitalizations and detoxes, the last being in the middle of October. His last relapse was a two-day bender last Thursday and Friday. He hasn't worked for more than a few weeks in the last 2 years and h...	SDB	8	680	Dec 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Encouragement and support (Preview) Quick email here folks! I could use some positive encouragement: I am studying for my series 7 exams, which basically license me to trade securities, sell annuities and finance products. The amount of information that I am having to take in is overwhelming and I'm stumbling over concepts that I kn...	andromeda	9	839	Dec 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 10/12 (Preview) Todays c2c discusses our ability to determine acceptable from unacceptable behavior. How can we possibly determine what is acceptable and what isn't when we have been living in insanity and we have no idea what we ourselves need? A 4th step inventory can help us identify our own traits that we like, t...	MissM	2	496	Dec 10, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Consult about memory issues (Preview) Today is the doctor appointment with my husband about his memory issues. He agreed that I can fill in for the doctor if he leaves anything out (30-year pot habit abandoned two months ago, recent interruption in daily alcohol consumption). I'm praying and giving this to HP. With the help of the program...	Mcat54	13	789	Dec 10, 2016 by Mcat54
	You can't talk to me like that! ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I don't know when this became my biggest hot button, but I cannot stand being talked down to (or perceiving it or being spoken to in a dismissive disrespectful tone. If I actually HAD been with or around a "rageaholic" qualifier, it would make sense to have this be such and issue, but that wasn't my cas...	pinkchip	50	1571	Dec 9, 2016 by LinSC
	Thank goodness, because.... (Preview) Thank goodness for Alanon, because it is getting really ugly in my neck of the woods. My MIL has been diagnosed with advanced cancer and has maybe 3 months left. As would be expected, this brings up a lot of emotion, history, anxiety and dread. As my AH and sibs were brought up in an A home, the dysfunctio...	El	6	554	Dec 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Help (Preview) I am new to this. My husband is an alcoholic. He is crazy when he drinks. He drives drunk. I want to leave but I can't financially. How on earth do I learn to just stop caring and allow him to hit rock bottom and stay sane.	Juliexx70	7	499	Dec 9, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.