Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

MissM · MissM

My mother called me yesterday, and launched into about an hour of why everyone is against her and she hates christmas and she's the one who makes all of the effort for my grandmother and yet she's the one my grandmother picks on (which is actually 100% true), and it's all unfair and no-one can see how unfa...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

There have been a lot of changes recently and I'm just trying to take them all in .. the word of the month has really been boundaries and what they mean to me. I'm getting better about being able to communicate in an effective manner with people closest to me however still have moments of meltdown city .....

El · El

Hello all, and Merry Eve of Christmas Eve! My wish is that you have the best possible holidays and the new year brings some relief from our challenges and greater recovery. Today, I am trying extremely hard to stay on my side of the street. We are hosting a small gathering of immediate family tomorrow...

texas yankee · texas yankee

So, I have about 13 years on the road with Al Anon - a few years ago, after almost ten years of being a master enabler, I found the strength to detach with love from my 30 year old son - alcohol and drug and depression problems - doing that was one of the hardest, most painful things I ever had to do - but I did it,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses arriving at Al-Anon and just not being sure we belong/fit in. Some arrive because of a current situation, others arrive because of a previous situation and still others come hoping to find the answers or cure for the disease in a friend or family member. No matter how we arr...

Voodoo · Voodoo

Hi, I am new to the group but have been attending local Al-anon meetings for several months. The meetings help a lot and I want to work the steps but my boyfriend has been in AA for twenty years and when I try to be open, what I say inevitably gets back to him. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost f...

LinSC · LinSC

keep your tools handy and sharp for the responses you may need when your qualifiers be it family or friends want to take center stage with their addictions. Instead keep the focus on YOU and what you can do to keep your environment peaceful. Don't let any holiday pressures get to you. Just lay back and le...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Life has been peaceful and on track for a great 2017. BUT I have guilt. Guilt because I'm not helping and talking much to my son and guilt because I'm not taking care of my X. Haven't heard from them lately so I don't know what's going on but my fear it's not good. I have quilt I'm not finding...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm in the process of making my amends to ppl including myself and my hp,that I've hurt in someway or another. this isn't a easy process,as I had thought it would be, im ready to do so,I know I got to let go . and trust in the process,I'm grateful today that I'm able and learning to let go of all past and presen...

Jt0506 · Jt0506

I am writing this down as a sort of 'get it all out there' and a 'youve made up your mind now - stick to it!' I am done. I simply will not live this life anymore. There is no reason for me to carry on living with this man who is incapable of getting help and truly accepting his binge drinking problems. You may re...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about the tools of our program - the power, portability and presence. When we begin this program, we learn about all kinds of tools that can help us lean into the program way of life. There is our literature, our program friends/phone numbers, our meetings, etc. We often begi...

andromeda · andromeda

I took my licensing exam earlier. I failed. I needed a 72 to pass and I got a 67. I may be out of a job or they may give me another chance. They will be doing an employee evaluation and I will find out more tomorrow. Basically, I think i'm on the edge score wise but I did all the work required, I attended all...

Mikhail · Mikhail

I have not been very good about F2F meeting attendance, but I think this holiday season I will need to do better. To your knowledge, do F2F meetings tend to meet around the holidays? Even on Christmas Day or New Year's Day? I've never attended a meeting when I'm traveling, but I think I'm going to this wee...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

Happy Sunday! So I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness today and how it has allowed me to let go of so much anger and resentment. For me, forgiving is acceptance, then detachment and then compassion. If that makes any sense, I don't know it does in my head anyway. Forgiving myself and others has bee...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

I am leaving town for a few days to see my family. My addict ex offered to watch my cats when I was out of town. I was so grateful as he loves my cats and would be perfect to do it as long as hes clean. I saw picture that was posted by his cousin the other day online and by the look of him it made me wonder if he was bac...

MissM · MissM

Messages from the ex-he-man flooding in tonight. "I need to talk to you" "I just want to chat for a sec" "I know you're too busy because you're busy being a a braniac and doing braniac things" I know you are too busy for me but wont you...(sends supertramp's "give a little bit") and then, all 3 parts of Stev...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

You know that day when you arent feeling well, like day 6 of the cold and you are tired of blowing your nose and every little thing seems like a big thing and the A is on his bender and wants to still participate in all the holiday activities and you have to go along to chaperone the A because God forbid someth...

Shiba419 · Shiba419

Hello all... this is my first time on here. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last week. It was great. My husband is an alcoholic and I have never had to deal with alcoholism in my family before so this is all new to me. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 9 months. I was hoping and praying fo...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that some are surprised to find AlAnon is a workshop for them to solve their own problems. The Program provides the 'light' to see what is needed in repairs. In answer to what to do with any numbers of trying circumstances brought about by the disease, one of the best replies is: anyth...

sarahGee · sarahGee

It's been almost 3 months since I've started with Al Anon/ ACA and WOW what a difference these programs can make in your life. Each day there is more awareness and a greater ability to let go. My kids, and closest friends have been commenting on the change in me. I used to shake uncontrollably. My anxiet...

joker · joker

I hate, despise alcoholism. It turns the person into a monster. I had to deal with a monster last night and it was hell. The more he drank, he worse his behavior. He went of the deep end. I was laying down in the bedroom, as I was tired. I could hear him in the living room saying he wants to be santa clause and be...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Three days ago, it was the official 1 year since i moved away from now XAH. First I want to thank those on the board here for their ESH through this time. It was one roller coaster of a year. The joy of finding myself again. The many financial issues that im still dealing with. The surprise of reuniting with...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Alcoholism causes physical, emotional and spiritual damage. By our association with the alcoholic, we can also suffer harm in these areas. In AlAnon's tradition of keeping the focus on ourselves, today's reading asks us to examine our self care. Do we take good care of our physical needs: eating, s...

Ralph16 · Ralph16

so my br is just out of hospital again with liver problems and this is second time in six months. he is a mess, he looks a mess and he is still drinking. He is staying with a friend. My mother is a widow and panders to him all the time. We have no other siblings. I have a husband a 3 small children. My mother wants...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the concept of detaching with love. Through the program and its tools, we can let go of resentment, bitterness and anger and instead feel the serenity of acceptance. The writer specifically mentions coming to terms with his/her father's death and...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

This is our first Christmas with out our AS. Months have gone by since my ex and I have really had any contact with our AS. He has sent several emails with awful content and asking for his belongings, but really other than that we have been Astranged. My ex and I discussed Christmas presents and decided w...

Mikhail · Mikhail

My AF is drinking again. Actually, I think the only time he doesn't drink is when he's in the hospital, which now seems to be happening on at least an annual basis. This weekend we'll all be at his and my step-mom's house. I'm dreading it because it seems like he's slowly but surely dissolving. Even when h...

gleasonzoo · gleasonzoo

Hello everyone, I am a mom of 3, ages 14, 6 and 4. My husband is a very heavy drinker, and is not interested in seeking help. I am just looking for a support group to help cope with our situation. My family is biased and feels I need to leave. My youngest is disabled, and I have a hard time seeing myself abl...

joker · joker

I am going home for the holidays-for 4 days only. I will be going with my abf and driving 9 hours. He will be sober, so he says. I will be going home and spending time with my mother who is an active alcoholic. Dear god help me...I know I can and will walk away if the situation becomes intolerable. I have a plan...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

My father (The Alcoholic) invited me over for dinner on xmas day. I said sure, no problem. I'm somewhat looking forward to it but at the same time, I am completely dreading it. I know it will likely be the last one in that house and he prepares to sell it in the spring and blows any and all profit he gets out of...

a4l · a4l

I am and its been ages and it feels great! This year, Miss almost 4 is fully conversant in social norms including holidays. In turn, so is her two year old sister ( who also happens to be her most adoring fan). She has already devised her Christmas strategy, first asking what day it falls on, and how many da...

Crau · Crau

That's what today was...I don't like tests and I'm not sure I passed. But as I sit here on this board with my "one day at a time in al-anon" book in front of me, I know at least if I didn't pass this time, I'll have better tools next time. I was trying to find a passage by the topic I was searching for today and the...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have to say that I am not proud of the fact that I have ducked out of Alanon a lot lately. My recovery is at a standstill. No growth but hanging in there. I know how much I miss you all. I am not in real bad shape but I need some really good meetings. We have currently no meetings in our small town. Hardly anyone...

Jayla · Jayla

Would it be all right if sometimes I just post and ask whoever is on here to talk to me sometimes? It's just so hard when the AH already works nights and then refuses to come home for hours and hours after work (staying out drinking). Sometimes I just feel desperate for someone to talk to ME. And I can't go to...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about the old saying trust in God and tie your camel to a tree. The reading suggests that this is a way of saying that we must do the footwork and HP will do the rest ". We must first trust HP because trusting is a way of affirming that we are willing to be receptive to...

joker · joker

On Friday night, I really wanted a drink of wine, just 2 glasses. I told the alcoholic to get me a bottle of wine. He did, along with his vodka and beer, which he gladly drank all night. I went to bed after my wine and he stayed up himself, talking to himself and watching TV. I was grateful he did not keep me awa...

a4l · a4l

Its been a challenging and emotional week. Learning a new skill, juggling the kids and lots of transitions. Over the last year my relationship with my autistic son has really come to life. Of all five of my kids, he was the one i struggled to connect with from day one. Emotionally, something just wasn't...

MissM · MissM

Well I can't say it's the happiest start to a summer holiday I've ever had but then, I think back and remember, this time last year I had a broken foot and was about to embark on a 4 month series of epic voyages between my bathroom and my couch, in a moon-boot. Paddling with my crutches. What a summer. By comp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a situation come up with my boyfriend the other evening and while there is one part of me that is satisfied with how I handled it there is another part that is uncomfortable. Part of me being uncomfortable is the fact I did not want to act out as I had in the past (meaning how I behaved during my marriag...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I am excited that my parents arrive today for just shy of 2 weeks! They are coming from AZ to KS and they are coming with a bunch of extreme cold temperatures + deadly ice/snow. Please send prayers for a safe and uneventful travel day for them. I will be around less while they are here. As they are 82, eac...

Rider · Rider

Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards but an Al-Anon member for over a year. Although I have a sponser, I chose to work my 5th step with "another human being". They are not happy about this and are almost insistant that I do it with them. I proposed this question back in the Spring to another long-time memb...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help." I get so frustrated be...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...

MissM · MissM

Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...

El · El

The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...

Crau · Crau

I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume I'm being manip...

Ozma24 · Ozma24

I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...

Patricia Lynn · Patricia Lynn

Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use. My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...

joker · joker

I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...

Doxie73 · Doxie73

My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...

a4l · a4l

I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...

Neroli · Neroli

My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...

besaco99 · besaco99

I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...

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Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Breaking Tradition (Preview) My mother called me yesterday, and launched into about an hour of why everyone is against her and she hates christmas and she's the one who makes all of the effort for my grandmother and yet she's the one my grandmother picks on (which is actually 100% true), and it's all unfair and no-one can see how unfa...	MissM	3	710	Dec 24, 2016 by Jerry F
	Holiday Stress .. (Preview) There have been a lot of changes recently and I'm just trying to take them all in .. the word of the month has really been boundaries and what they mean to me. I'm getting better about being able to communicate in an effective manner with people closest to me however still have moments of meltdown city .....	SerenityRUS	3	494	Dec 24, 2016 by lookingup
	TRYING to stay on my side of the street (Preview) Hello all, and Merry Eve of Christmas Eve! My wish is that you have the best possible holidays and the new year brings some relief from our challenges and greater recovery. Today, I am trying extremely hard to stay on my side of the street. We are hosting a small gathering of immediate family tomorrow...	El	5	703	Dec 23, 2016 by El
	I'm on the right track, right ??? (Preview) So, I have about 13 years on the road with Al Anon - a few years ago, after almost ten years of being a master enabler, I found the strength to detach with love from my 30 year old son - alcohol and drug and depression problems - doing that was one of the hardest, most painful things I ever had to do - but I did it,...	texas yankee	15	798	Dec 23, 2016 by texas yankee
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/23/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses arriving at Al-Anon and just not being sure we belong/fit in. Some arrive because of a current situation, others arrive because of a previous situation and still others come hoping to find the answers or cure for the disease in a friend or family member. No matter how we arr...	Iamhere	4	582	Dec 23, 2016 by Iamhere
	Seeking some support (Preview) Hi, I am new to the group but have been attending local Al-anon meetings for several months. The meetings help a lot and I want to work the steps but my boyfriend has been in AA for twenty years and when I try to be open, what I say inevitably gets back to him. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost f...	Voodoo	9	714	Dec 23, 2016 by Voodoo
	Merry Christmas and (Preview) keep your tools handy and sharp for the responses you may need when your qualifiers be it family or friends want to take center stage with their addictions. Instead keep the focus on YOU and what you can do to keep your environment peaceful. Don't let any holiday pressures get to you. Just lay back and le...	LinSC	6	709	Dec 23, 2016 by hotrod
	I feel guilt inside (Preview) Hi Everyone Life has been peaceful and on track for a great 2017. BUT I have guilt. Guilt because I'm not helping and talking much to my son and guilt because I'm not taking care of my X. Haven't heard from them lately so I don't know what's going on but my fear it's not good. I have quilt I'm not finding...	Cathyinaz	10	817	Dec 23, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	Making amends (Preview) I'm in the process of making my amends to ppl including myself and my hp,that I've hurt in someway or another. this isn't a easy process,as I had thought it would be, im ready to do so,I know I got to let go . and trust in the process,I'm grateful today that I'm able and learning to let go of all past and presen...	lookingup	6	726	Dec 23, 2016 by lookingup
	I am leaving (Preview) I am writing this down as a sort of 'get it all out there' and a 'youve made up your mind now - stick to it!' I am done. I simply will not live this life anymore. There is no reason for me to carry on living with this man who is incapable of getting help and truly accepting his binge drinking problems. You may re...	Jt0506	14	1076	Dec 22, 2016 by Green Eyes
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/22/16 (Preview) Today's reading is all about the tools of our program - the power, portability and presence. When we begin this program, we learn about all kinds of tools that can help us lean into the program way of life. There is our literature, our program friends/phone numbers, our meetings, etc. We often begi...	Iamhere	3	659	Dec 22, 2016 by Enigmatic
	I failed (Preview) I took my licensing exam earlier. I failed. I needed a 72 to pass and I got a 67. I may be out of a job or they may give me another chance. They will be doing an employee evaluation and I will find out more tomorrow. Basically, I think i'm on the edge score wise but I did all the work required, I attended all...	andromeda	11	892	Dec 22, 2016 by hotrod
	F2F meeting question (Preview) I have not been very good about F2F meeting attendance, but I think this holiday season I will need to do better. To your knowledge, do F2F meetings tend to meet around the holidays? Even on Christmas Day or New Year's Day? I've never attended a meeting when I'm traveling, but I think I'm going to this wee...	Mikhail	4	780	Dec 22, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Forgiveness (Preview) Happy Sunday! So I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness today and how it has allowed me to let go of so much anger and resentment. For me, forgiving is acceptance, then detachment and then compassion. If that makes any sense, I don't know it does in my head anyway. Forgiving myself and others has bee...	_bunny_	15	1956	Dec 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Recognizing the signs and making the right choice (Preview) I am leaving town for a few days to see my family. My addict ex offered to watch my cats when I was out of town. I was so grateful as he loves my cats and would be perfect to do it as long as hes clean. I saw picture that was posted by his cousin the other day online and by the look of him it made me wonder if he was bac...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	650	Dec 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	Alright...here we go again..yeheh woho. (Preview) Messages from the ex-he-man flooding in tonight. "I need to talk to you" "I just want to chat for a sec" "I know you're too busy because you're busy being a a braniac and doing braniac things" I know you are too busy for me but wont you...(sends supertramp's "give a little bit") and then, all 3 parts of Stev...	MissM	14	975	Dec 21, 2016 by Jen61
	Feeling the yuck (Preview) You know that day when you arent feeling well, like day 6 of the cold and you are tired of blowing your nose and every little thing seems like a big thing and the A is on his bender and wants to still participate in all the holiday activities and you have to go along to chaperone the A because God forbid someth...	Bethany66	5	656	Dec 21, 2016 by Jerry F
	Newcomer (Preview) Hello all... this is my first time on here. I went to my first Al-Anon meeting last week. It was great. My husband is an alcoholic and I have never had to deal with alcoholism in my family before so this is all new to me. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 9 months. I was hoping and praying fo...	Shiba419	4	740	Dec 21, 2016 by Jazzie18
	12/21/16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page notes that some are surprised to find AlAnon is a workshop for them to solve their own problems. The Program provides the 'light' to see what is needed in repairs. In answer to what to do with any numbers of trying circumstances brought about by the disease, one of the best replies is: anyth...	Enigmatic	3	599	Dec 21, 2016 by Iamhere
	It works if you work it (Preview) It's been almost 3 months since I've started with Al Anon/ ACA and WOW what a difference these programs can make in your life. Each day there is more awareness and a greater ability to let go. My kids, and closest friends have been commenting on the change in me. I used to shake uncontrollably. My anxiet...	sarahGee	6	705	Dec 21, 2016 by Enigmatic
	I lost my mind completely (Preview) I hate, despise alcoholism. It turns the person into a monster. I had to deal with a monster last night and it was hell. The more he drank, he worse his behavior. He went of the deep end. I was laying down in the bedroom, as I was tired. I could hear him in the living room saying he wants to be santa clause and be...	joker	13	913	Dec 21, 2016 by el-cee
	1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY (Preview) Three days ago, it was the official 1 year since i moved away from now XAH. First I want to thank those on the board here for their ESH through this time. It was one roller coaster of a year. The joy of finding myself again. The many financial issues that im still dealing with. The surprise of reuniting with...	YARNCRAZY	3	586	Dec 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	12-19-16 Courage to Change (Preview) Alcoholism causes physical, emotional and spiritual damage. By our association with the alcoholic, we can also suffer harm in these areas. In AlAnon's tradition of keeping the focus on ourselves, today's reading asks us to examine our self care. Do we take good care of our physical needs: eating, s...	Enigmatic	6	753	Dec 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	Family Christmas (Preview) so my br is just out of hospital again with liver problems and this is second time in six months. he is a mess, he looks a mess and he is still drinking. He is staying with a friend. My mother is a widow and panders to him all the time. We have no other siblings. I have a husband a 3 small children. My mother wants...	Ralph16	6	737	Dec 20, 2016 by Jazzie18
	Hope for Today Dec 20 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading speaks to the concept of detaching with love. Through the program and its tools, we can let go of resentment, bitterness and anger and instead feel the serenity of acceptance. The writer specifically mentions coming to terms with his/her father's death and...	yanksfan51	3	580	Dec 20, 2016 by hotrod
	Christmas Presents (Preview) This is our first Christmas with out our AS. Months have gone by since my ex and I have really had any contact with our AS. He has sent several emails with awful content and asking for his belongings, but really other than that we have been Astranged. My ex and I discussed Christmas presents and decided w...	Tannersmom	6	784	Dec 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	Loops of insanity (Preview) My AF is drinking again. Actually, I think the only time he doesn't drink is when he's in the hospital, which now seems to be happening on at least an annual basis. This weekend we'll all be at his and my step-mom's house. I'm dreading it because it seems like he's slowly but surely dissolving. Even when h...	Mikhail	2	637	Dec 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	New Here (Preview) Hello everyone, I am a mom of 3, ages 14, 6 and 4. My husband is a very heavy drinker, and is not interested in seeking help. I am just looking for a support group to help cope with our situation. My family is biased and feels I need to leave. My youngest is disabled, and I have a hard time seeing myself abl...	gleasonzoo	3	600	Dec 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	road trip (Preview) I am going home for the holidays-for 4 days only. I will be going with my abf and driving 9 hours. He will be sober, so he says. I will be going home and spending time with my mother who is an active alcoholic. Dear god help me...I know I can and will walk away if the situation becomes intolerable. I have a plan...	joker	5	677	Dec 19, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's so tough to watch (Preview) My father (The Alcoholic) invited me over for dinner on xmas day. I said sure, no problem. I'm somewhat looking forward to it but at the same time, I am completely dreading it. I know it will likely be the last one in that house and he prepares to sell it in the spring and blows any and all profit he gets out of...	slogan_jim	5	712	Dec 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	anyone else feeling the Christmas excitement? (Preview) I am and its been ages and it feels great! This year, Miss almost 4 is fully conversant in social norms including holidays. In turn, so is her two year old sister ( who also happens to be her most adoring fan). She has already devised her Christmas strategy, first asking what day it falls on, and how many da...	a4l	4	851	Dec 19, 2016 by el-cee
	A test of my sanity (Preview) That's what today was...I don't like tests and I'm not sure I passed. But as I sit here on this board with my "one day at a time in al-anon" book in front of me, I know at least if I didn't pass this time, I'll have better tools next time. I was trying to find a passage by the topic I was searching for today and the...	Crau	3	2804	Dec 19, 2016 by el-cee
	It has been a long time... (Preview) I have to say that I am not proud of the fact that I have ducked out of Alanon a lot lately. My recovery is at a standstill. No growth but hanging in there. I know how much I miss you all. I am not in real bad shape but I need some really good meetings. We have currently no meetings in our small town. Hardly anyone...	Hoot Nanny	4	573	Dec 19, 2016 by el-cee
	Talk? (Preview) Would it be all right if sometimes I just post and ask whoever is on here to talk to me sometimes? It's just so hard when the AH already works nights and then refuses to come home for hours and hours after work (staying out drinking). Sometimes I just feel desperate for someone to talk to ME. And I can't go to...	Jayla	6	657	Dec 19, 2016 by Jayla
	Courage to change 12-18-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 18 speaks about the old saying trust in God and tie your camel to a tree. The reading suggests that this is a way of saying that we must do the footwork and HP will do the rest ". We must first trust HP because trusting is a way of affirming that we are willing to be receptive to...	hotrod	5	728	Dec 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Progress forward (Preview) On Friday night, I really wanted a drink of wine, just 2 glasses. I told the alcoholic to get me a bottle of wine. He did, along with his vodka and beer, which he gladly drank all night. I went to bed after my wine and he stayed up himself, talking to himself and watching TV. I was grateful he did not keep me awa...	joker	3	627	Dec 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	bit of a babble (Preview) Its been a challenging and emotional week. Learning a new skill, juggling the kids and lots of transitions. Over the last year my relationship with my autistic son has really come to life. Of all five of my kids, he was the one i struggled to connect with from day one. Emotionally, something just wasn't...	a4l	9	686	Dec 18, 2016 by a4l
	Holidays with my imaginary friends. (Preview) Well I can't say it's the happiest start to a summer holiday I've ever had but then, I think back and remember, this time last year I had a broken foot and was about to embark on a 4 month series of epic voyages between my bathroom and my couch, in a moon-boot. Paddling with my crutches. What a summer. By comp...	MissM	5	759	Dec 18, 2016 by YARNCRAZY
	Healing and Perspective (Preview) I had a situation come up with my boyfriend the other evening and while there is one part of me that is satisfied with how I handled it there is another part that is uncomfortable. Part of me being uncomfortable is the fact I did not want to act out as I had in the past (meaning how I behaved during my marriag...	SerenityRUS	3	700	Dec 17, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	And....here they come! (Preview) I am excited that my parents arrive today for just shy of 2 weeks! They are coming from AZ to KS and they are coming with a bunch of extreme cold temperatures + deadly ice/snow. Please send prayers for a safe and uneventful travel day for them. I will be around less while they are here. As they are 82, eac...	Iamhere	4	673	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need 5th step clarification (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to the boards but an Al-Anon member for over a year. Although I have a sponser, I chose to work my 5th step with "another human being". They are not happy about this and are almost insistant that I do it with them. I proposed this question back in the Spring to another long-time memb...	Rider	7	3049	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 17/12 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the concept of praying for those that we resent. The writer identifies that this was at first difficult because they were praying for their qualifiers to change. When they instead chose to pray for new perspectives, insight into how to change their own part in the situations, an...	MissM	1	677	Dec 17, 2016 by hotrod
	"He needs rehab" and stuff others tell me (Preview) Does anyone struggle with this? My therapist and a close friend just keep focusing on what my qualifier needs. The whole conversation continues to be about "he is so sick" "if he is committed to sobriety he will get into rehab" "he really might be bipolar. He needs serious help." I get so frustrated be...	Prissykitty	8	1472	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	Someone said it, I lost it! (Preview) Today I read in one of the posts a comment from a member that really struck a chord with me. I am paraphrasing, because I cannot find the quote now, but it was something to the effect of, I no longer get upset if my A drinks because it may be this drink that brings him to his bottom. I really liked that. I hop...	Bethany66	6	718	Dec 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	He's been using this entire time (Preview) After husbands overdose Sunday night, he went to therapy today. Claims he was gonna come clean with his therapist. Ended up coming home and telling me he had a good session. Then informed me that he's been lying to me too. Even after I found him with pain pills in August he said he had quit. Nope. Still bee...	Prissykitty	10	714	Dec 16, 2016 by Prissykitty
	HP's Will my Will .. (Preview) The God of my understanding is God so if that offends stick in what you need to process or don't read my post .. LOL. That being said there are some things brewing .. court is not over .. sigh yes .. I had said it was however that's not what the process has been doing. Once again my X gets to do what he wants to d...	SerenityRUS	11	698	Dec 16, 2016 by MeTwo2
	Anyone else get this PM? Please be sure to disregard it. I know, der but you never know. (Preview) Greetings to you and your family.I am Mrs. Amadou Gloria, A widow to late Mr. Greg Amadou; I am 56 years old, suffering from pancreatic cancer, My condition is really bad and it is quite obvious that I will not live a long time according to my doctors but I strongly believe in God and not the doctors and if...	MissM	10	3637	Dec 16, 2016 by MeTwo2
	4th step question (Preview) The f2f meeting I had attended since May recently dissolved. It was small to begin with, but was down to only 3 of us. The time and location were ideal, so I hung in there but knew I wanted to find another group with different dynamics. One of the members told us she was leaving our group, so with only two,...	El	2	669	Dec 16, 2016 by El
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/16/16 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is a great read for reminding us what we are and are not responsible for. There is no quote or reminder - but instead a list of things we should consider as we work on our recovery program. Most of us arrive believing we are supposed to take care of everything and every...	Iamhere	1	562	Dec 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Trust (Preview) I used to be the most trusting person in the world and now I'm completely opposite. Trust is earned, I've realized through this journey. I wish I had clear eyes again, saw the good in everyone and trusted everyone as I did before. I've become cautious of motives behind things and assume I'm being manip...	Crau	16	1552	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	My story - In desperate need of advice (Preview) I'm 22 years old and the daughter to an alcoholic mother. My mother, it seems, has dealt with addiction through tout her life one way or another. My mother's parents divorced when she was young and by the time she was a teenager her father dealt and used cocaine. They were close however he was frequently...	Ozma24	4	796	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/15/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 3 - it seems so difficult to get our minds around turning our will and life over to the care of a Higher Power. We try to do so, think we have done so and next you know - we've taken it back. It feels so scary to think we are not in control. It's hard to trust that a Higher Power wou...	Iamhere	4	573	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	New & needing advice (Preview) Hi All, this is my first post here. My brother (49) & his wife (40) are currently homeless due to their alcohol drinking & drug use. My family finally stopped enabling them and they hit rock bottom losing everything, including their house, car, & their own child to foster care. To have v...	Patricia Lynn	6	676	Dec 15, 2016 by LinSC
	12/14/16 Hope for Today (Preview) Today's page addresses use of the Serenity Prayer when we are losing ours. The author shares the key: keeping it focused and simple so as to avoid turning it into a stressful exercise. The perspective change is powerful. 1) Widen our acceptance: accept that all things are as they should be, find grati...	Enigmatic	6	754	Dec 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	then and now (Preview) I was reading on line here and I question my relationship with the alcoholic in my life and my feelings now. When I first met him, 2.5 years ago, I felt so in love and just adored him. I was willing to spend the rest of my life with him and have bliss. However, as his drinking increased and his behaviors becam...	joker	7	613	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Opinions re: Crying (Preview) I've always been prone to tears: weddings, funerals, remembering sentimental events, you name it. Most often, though, I cry when I am hurt by someone's words or actions. Are tears resulting from a real or imagined slight selfish & self-pitying? Am I just feeling sorry for myself ("Oh, poor me, p...	Suburban Denizen	13	1132	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Need to talk...rehab/affairs 13th step infedelity cheating 30 day (Preview) My AH went into rehab in November,after leaving he begged me to help him find help. So I found him a rehab unit. Since he has been out he was fine. Doing the work, meeting, counselors etc. Then about a week ago he totally withdrew from me. Seeking to find answers I checked our cell phone bill and found a numb...	Doxie73	4	7667	Dec 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	a working woman again (Preview) I love God. And as i get older its blatantly obvious that im loved and beleived in right back. So I've been stressing out about work and independence and non utilised talents, generally feeling like crap and worried. Yet at the same time, I feel like im right where im meant to be. Anyway. I got the urge to l...	a4l	6	590	Dec 14, 2016 by a4l
	Addict/alcoholic son living with me, I'm drowning (Preview) My 29 year old son is addicted to opioid pills and on suboxone. So he is not using pills but has substituted with being an alcoholic now. However drinking alcohol while on suboxone is LIFE THREATENING! He's also on psych meds that cannot be mixed with alcohol, also life threatening. He is very good at fi...	Neroli	8	698	Dec 13, 2016 by Freetime
	What Do I DO? (first post) (Preview) I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for 14 years. Since I was 22 and she was 25. We've been engaged for about 5 years and have a 5 1/2 year old daughter together as well. As well as being an alcoholic a few years ago she developed some other addictions. Opiates, adderall... whatever. After a lon...	besaco99	8	722	Dec 13, 2016 by DavidG
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.