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I wanted to share a positive experience I had recently. My 15 year old son exhibits all of the signs of being an alcoholic....without drinking. He recently had a really bad morning during which he was upset to the point of ridiculous over a very minor issue. The skills I have learned in Al-Anon and from attending open AA meetings with AH kicked in and I was able to deal with him in a whole new way. I readily recognized that the problem was not the minor incident, allowed him his space to have his temper tantrum (we live on 40 acres and he was outside....plenty of room to growl and pace without any danger to the rest of us), and managed to get him to talk to me. His main problem to begin with seemed to be that other people just won't behave the way he thinks they should. I almost laughed as I heard him say that. Isn't it the problem we as Al-Anons face as well as Alcoholics? If other people would just behave like we want them to everything would be great! I was able to reach him on a whole new level and talk to him about expectations and remind him that he is only responsible for himself. What a relief for him!
After some time of talking I also discovered that he was really mad at God. His dad has spent a lot of time in the past blasting this church or that pastor for "running him off" from various positions. Dad came alongside and talked to him about his recovery and how he was wrong in those situations. He took full credit for his own actions in each situation specifically and we ended with prayer. And a much calmer 15 year old. Thanks recovery!
Aww, thank you for sharing. I have similar conversations with my son, who's 18 now. He also is a fixer and tries to enable and fix his father. He will need to learn his lessons in his own time but program has taught me that I don't have to come sweeping in and fixing it for him. I can teach him the tools I've learned in program and hope that it sticks, lol.
Recovery is a beautiful thing!
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
You witnessed and was part of a miracle!! How very awesome. I especially loved it when the recipient of the miracle was a teen. They grow in recovery faster than we do because they have less time in the problem...JMRE...Thanks for the share. ((((hugs))))
