Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

mojotwist · mojotwist

I really need some help today. I'm having a difficult time dealing with my emotions. About 3 months ago my AH told me he wanted a divorce, gave me no reasons other than he'd been thinking about it for a long time and wanted out. I asked him why and he said it was 100% him but i continued to push. He then pro...

Junenine · Junenine

i'm realizing i need to LEAVE. ABF (was fiance) has habit of invading my privacy for no reason other than his own deep insecurity and possible OCD. we are already in a fragile place in our relationship and he did it again. he bugged my bedroom in my own home. i also know he's drinking again after supposed...

Ali72 · Ali72

Looking for support

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today is a special day. My 27 year old son who gave me great grief as a teenager and brought me to my knees and then to Al-Anon, is getting married. It is a civil service at the courthouse and he has asked me to stand up for him. My husband, (his stepfather since he was 4 years old) will be joining us. I was...

T84 · T84

Hi everyoneNew to the groupI am currently dealing with an alcoholic wife. . We have been together for almost six years. During that time, she has picked up three DUIs. She has been to jail three times and rehab four times.Each and every time the famous words I am done, I am never drinking again were s...

a4l · a4l

I have a craving for a travel adventure. I've been in one country for five whole years now and the feet are getting itchy. I've acquired a terrible relationship to money, where as soon as it runs in the door, I take it by the hand, and together we skip right back out the door humming, live for today, live for...

Jayla · Jayla

So I took it personally yesterday and lost it with my A. It just hit me after experiencing this repeatedly that whenever I ask him if he wants to do something with me or the family his answer is always no. He just wants to be at home "relaxing" (i.e. drinking). But he has no problem making plans all the time w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - sorry for the late post of the daily... Today's reading talks about the journey of recovery. What is discussed is how the 4th Step revealed the habit of assuming the destination was the 'end-game' and where the joy would be found. Often, we find that we are rushing through the days t...

hotrod · hotrod

Good afternoon MIP family. I am back from my exhausting, wonderful vacation which required that I use many of my Al-Anon tools in order to stay in the moment and in the day I am happy to report that the program works when I work it. I have posted the seventh step to the step work board and would apprecia...

bt9007 · bt9007

I have been with my wife for 11 years now and I am at a crossroads in our marriage all because of alcohol... We met when I was 19 and doing my undergraduate degree. Alcohol was a completely normal part of being students for us - we went out to socialise pretty much every night. Once the student bubble burst...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page acknowledges that many questions brought to AlAnon involve 'what if'. Fear of what might happen is often at the heart of desperate actions. AlAnon suggests that trying to forecast the future actions of anyone, particularly a qualifier, is not helpful. By looking for or expecting neg...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page compares our AlAnon recovery to the heroic quests of legend, where incredible challenges are faced and conquered in pursuit of a valuable treasure or task. As Odysseus had his odyssey, Jason his Golden Fleece, ours' is the great journey of spiritual self discovery. Our recovery journ...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about feeling gratitude for where we are, right in this moment, and how Alanon helped us get here. When I think of myself before I began working a program, I think of someone who was scared, angry, anxious, angry and generally not happy in many ways. I felt the...

Misterbroon · Misterbroon

I have just got my daughter to admit she has a drinking problem. She has a 2 1/2 year old baby to look after but id drinking during the day. I am at a loss how to help...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Alcoholism is a family disease, and this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see how it had impacted my parents and sister. My grandfather was an alcoholic, although I didn't know him until he was active in AA and moved back to town to make amends to his sons and family. Last Friday, my wife and our thr...

Lissie · Lissie

Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...

Billy1965 · Billy1965

I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17 .trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965

Jayla · Jayla

...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Becaus...

WestMan · WestMan

My birthday is this weekend. I had asked my AS if she would put together a small party with a few of our closest friends. She is coming through. Now I have a little dilemma. I typically drink beer with my friends during these social gatherings. I'd love to have some for this event and, frankly, my friends w...

WestMan · WestMan

This is kind of funny because I speak to groups of people almost daily. Some groups are less hospitable than others and I might get my feet held to the fire sometimes. It's stressful but I do alright. My point being I don't have any trouble with public speaking or even with staying what I feel or need in the...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind. Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang o...

Hello Kitty · Hello Kitty

Hello all, I'm the alternate group rep for my local meeting. I've been a member of this home group for about 3 years. I'm having an issue I am not quite sure how to deal with. Its about business meetings and group conscience. Our GR has been in Alanon since December. Our treasurer has been a member...

MissM · MissM

The C2C reading for May 28 speaks about comparing ourselves to others which leads to despair. The reading suggest that the only true comparison is between myself as I used to be and myself as I am today. We can look back and see many examples of the grace of a higher power at work in our lives and cann see th...

Cammi45 · Cammi45

I haven't posted on here for a while. Things seem to get better for a while and then something happens again. My husband has been a little better than he was, but he lately has started doing something (once to my daughter and once to me) where he will question us on something and then I guess if we don't gi...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So interesting is I have found myself shifting my focus on my A, instead of myself. It's tricky like that, I think I am focused on me, but am I? Everywhere I turned today "humility" popped up. So today I am focusing on how that applies to me, right now in this moment. I went to my normal F2F Wednesday morning...

madowl86 · madowl86

Just wondering how you deal with the anxiety when your A drinks? I completely shut down and am in fight or flight mode until he goes to sleep. I always think I can predict when he's going to get drunk but I've proven time and time again that I can't. And every time I am let down. Even though I try to tell myself...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Haven't been here in a while. It seems the last few months have been better or maybe I just am so used to the bad behaviour and binging I just don't care anymore. Tomorrow will be another day of him sleeping all day and not accomplishing anything because he will be hungover. Our plans for tomorrow night wi...

Mikhail · Mikhail

It's interesting what changes and what stays the same. My alcoholic father is in the midst of a divorce from my step-mother. I say good for her for leaving. She deserves the chance at a happy life. So dad is now on his own in his own apartment. It's a nice place and he's going to be just fine in the divorce set...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c is about continued disappointments, and how we can eventually close our hearts to the possibility of happiness and instead resign ourselves to unhappiness- if we can't be happy, we think, perhaps we can at least prevent ever being disappointed again. The reading points out that havin...

Aline · Aline

Hi, dear MIP friends :) I had a situation this afternoon I'd like to share and ask your ESH about. I'm currently living separately from my abf, and will continue to do so for 3 months. If after this time he isn't drinking, I'm moving back. (I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to my boundary, and movi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all - happy Friday....it seems my body is still on AZ time! Today's reading discusses how we are asked to keep an open mind in Al-Anon. Many of us have tried to make stricter rules for our behavior to avoid repeating mistakes. This shows that we do learn from the experience, however the f...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, as some of you read, my husband crossed the line last Friday and was physically aggressive with me. It started over him bothering me for money for pot and despite my efforts to disengage and not escalate things he jumped on me in bed literally being quiet, I was beside my daughter and he acte...

Emily-803 · Emily-803

My husband and I have been married now for 9 months. Combined, we have 3 children, 2 of whom are from my previous relationship and live at home and one who his mother has custody over. When I met my husband, I knew he had a previous meth problem. He had been in recovery for quite sometime and I was confident t...

el-cee · el-cee

I am obsessed, a lot. If its not the drinker in my life, its food, the gym, work, studying, food, the drinker, work etc on and on. I don't fully understand it. I can see that its part of my thinking disorder that alcoholism brings. I think it may be a distraction thing, a way of turning myself away from whats...

lookingup · lookingup

planning on going to visit foo this weekend ,my father and brother whom I'm very close to is my brother, my sister texted me letting me know that I was welcome to come visit ,lol,I'd already made plans way back. she is my challenge ,she isn't an addict or alcoholic ,never has been . she has all the traits of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all - so grateful to wake from my own bed with my own pillows!! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Denial. Denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism and both the A and those who love an A are often affected by denial more deeply than realized. We may have been living in chao...

a4l · a4l

About 6 months ago, I posted about the loss of friends who were drinking acquaintances. It was a murder suicide. It still plays on my mind, sometimes pops up in dreams, as I think about life as a soul journey we undertake with others. On the surface, the event was written off as domestic violence. But...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning MIP peeps! I was wondering if you would provide some wisdom on this... This morning I got a text from my AH. It read "I just wanted to tell you I love you." Now, we are not separated, but I am living "As IF" in the house. I have told him I think we should separate, but I don't think he remembers my st...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something my daughter and I have been working on and it's bleeding over into other parts of my relationships is that issue of being able to identify "what I need and what I can give .. who do I go to knowing those needs will or won't be met". I'm learning how to just listen and wait for someone to ask a direct q...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers Steps 1 & 2: First, that I am powerless over alcohol, and my confusion surrounding this fact has led to an unmanageable life. Next, I came to believe there was help, a power greater than myself, and I needed this help because my own best efforts left me less than sane. Witho...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm shareing this with y'all today,my sponsor is away from a few days,miss her dearly she has also become my best Freind. im greatful for the birds singing outside my window ,for the beautiful days my hp has been blessing us with. assets...I'm strong,I'm reliable I'm compassionate and careing. have...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Sot working my tools hard this weekend. Yesterday I came home to my AH drunk. I did all my post-work stuff, and finally got a moment to put my feet up with a cool drink. When what do I hear, but my AH yelling from our bedroom. Now, we usually watch TV in different rooms b/c he is usually drinking (but hiding it...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to how some of us have such difficulty in communicating as a result of living with the disease. The writer mentions growing up in a home where he/she eventually just kept quiet because there always seemed to be misunderstandings otherwuse. The gentl...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

"I don't believe it's an accident that we choose the people we do based upon our dysfunctional comfort zone." Someone asked me to share that statement as it was part of a conversation we were having off the boards. Sometimes people are picked in my life .. my parents and immediate family and sometimes...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Ugh! Had a perfectly decent day today. Following my sense of unease from two days ago, to realization that yes, my A is deep in the disease to today. We had a birthday part planned for our youngest son. I put expectations aside yesterday, knew we would have family over and despite the lashing out/anger I...

el-cee · el-cee

Martyrdom, Mothering, managing and manipulation. Tick tick tick tick. Yep this was me. Fear driven because I was terrified of the drinking and chaos and crisis and thought I could prevent them if I tried hard enough was pretty enough was nice enough was cooking enough having sex with him enough. Ar...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm a grateful member of alanon, grateful to be more awake to life than I've ever been. The awareness especially keep coming for me. I assume this is a non stop process. Recently I've become more aware of the words in step 3 the idea we can make a decision and stick to it. God's will is the goodies like kin...

MissM · MissM

Spent some time with a very drunk A today. I made a judgement call...daughter was away for the night and he turned up all hot and sexy, demanding, "you've got 10 minutes. Get dressed up and we are going out". I did. Shoot me, it's been a while. It was fun, for a short while. Watching him shoot pool...he's so...

Summerlady · Summerlady

I love searching the board for topics on issues I am working on at the moment. I came across a thread from 2010 that Jerry F. started on working powerlessness. He was looking for ESH concerning powerlessness for his Super Saturday meeting and asked people to tell how they worked their powerlessness be...

lookingup · lookingup

Hi everybody, as some of you might remember my brother that left to live homeless in tent city in Dallas Texas is now home, after a lot of trauma that happened to him in Texas,long story I won't get into. but you can just imagine the worst of worst scenarios of living a life like that, his choice due to alcoh...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

...keeping it simple. Today's reading focuses on the simplicity and effectiveness of AlAnon, as evident by the slogans: * Keep it Simple * Let Go, Let God * One Day at a Time * Easy Does It * Live and Let Live * First Things First Today's Reminder: Relax...often, doing nothing is doing more. "Slow motio...

shrnp · shrnp

I have learned a lot about humility since my recovery from drugs/alcohol. I would not have came to Alanon if I did not believe that humility can help me to continue to grow. Alanon is based on the AA program and humility is a big part of it. I have not seen any recent post about it. I wanted to share this blog...

Aline · Aline

Dear all, I'm in something of a turmoil right now. A couple of days ago I left our apartment late at night, after a very ugly hour at home. To cut a long story short, he went into a rage, thrashing things, eventually ripping the blanket from me where I was trying to sleep in my bed, telling me he won't let me sl...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So I haven't posted in a while. I am working my program, my recovery, attending meetings, reaching out when those moments of anxiety hit. Things at home are calm. My A has been out of the house about 3 months. At first he struggled, then I struggled, and now we are in this place where it's starting to feel n...

new · new

Quick summary: Started dating a sober man who was dealing with depression. Fell in love with him in part based on how honest he was about his battle with depression. We moved to another state together. He was prescribed a new medication by his new physician. My ex was very happy with this new medication...

lookingup · lookingup

I haven't been posting here,doing more reading than anything, i do use my tools. quiet often,with lots of success,thanks to alanon today is my freinds wedding day, i was suppose to be a brides maid ,just didn't work out ,she had to have me for 5 days to learn how to walk out and such, so I promised her I'd be...

Lyne · Lyne

A constant source of pain for me is that since my A offended my son and dtr-in-law on XMas eve, they have not seen her nor spoken to her. My son is also very angry at me for not leaving her. He does not understand Alanon and how I am detached with like/love, and how I will figure out my future in my time. I sug...

MissM · MissM

The C2C reading for May 21 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. This is indeed a powerful step and a deep reminder that we are unable to remove our own shortcomings. This step requires humility because we must acknowledge our dependence on a power greater t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Infidelity (Preview) I really need some help today. I'm having a difficult time dealing with my emotions. About 3 months ago my AH told me he wanted a divorce, gave me no reasons other than he'd been thinking about it for a long time and wanted out. I asked him why and he said it was 100% him but i continued to push. He then pro...	mojotwist	9	3239	Jun 2, 2017 by Wednesday
	devastated (again) & in need of ESH (Preview) i'm realizing i need to LEAVE. ABF (was fiance) has habit of invading my privacy for no reason other than his own deep insecurity and possible OCD. we are already in a fragile place in our relationship and he did it again. he bugged my bedroom in my own home. i also know he's drinking again after supposed...	Junenine	19	3075	Jun 2, 2017 by Junenine
	RE: Newbie here (Preview) Looking for support	Ali72	4	3519	Jun 2, 2017 by Wednesday
	Staying in the moment - One day at a time (Preview) Today is a special day. My 27 year old son who gave me great grief as a teenager and brought me to my knees and then to Al-Anon, is getting married. It is a civil service at the courthouse and he has asked me to stand up for him. My husband, (his stepfather since he was 4 years old) will be joining us. I was...	Bethany66	5	2393	Jun 2, 2017 by Aline
	Wife in Jail Again... (Preview) Hi everyoneNew to the groupI am currently dealing with an alcoholic wife. . We have been together for almost six years. During that time, she has picked up three DUIs. She has been to jail three times and rehab four times.Each and every time the famous words I am done, I am never drinking again were s...	T84	7	1038	Jun 2, 2017 by milkwood
	Just a ramble (Preview) I have a craving for a travel adventure. I've been in one country for five whole years now and the feet are getting itchy. I've acquired a terrible relationship to money, where as soon as it runs in the door, I take it by the hand, and together we skip right back out the door humming, live for today, live for...	a4l	10	1255	Jun 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Lost it with my A (Preview) So I took it personally yesterday and lost it with my A. It just hit me after experiencing this repeatedly that whenever I ask him if he wants to do something with me or the family his answer is always no. He just wants to be at home "relaxing" (i.e. drinking). But he has no problem making plans all the time w...	Jayla	7	2628	Jun 2, 2017 by Bo
	Hope for Today - 6/1/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP - sorry for the late post of the daily... Today's reading talks about the journey of recovery. What is discussed is how the 4th Step revealed the habit of assuming the destination was the 'end-game' and where the joy would be found. Often, we find that we are rushing through the days t...	Iamhere	3	1914	Jun 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Seventh Step (Preview) Good afternoon MIP family. I am back from my exhausting, wonderful vacation which required that I use many of my Al-Anon tools in order to stay in the moment and in the day I am happy to report that the program works when I work it. I have posted the seventh step to the step work board and would apprecia...	hotrod	5	2723	Jun 1, 2017 by hotrod
	Alcoholic wife (Preview) I have been with my wife for 11 years now and I am at a crossroads in our marriage all because of alcohol... We met when I was 19 and doing my undergraduate degree. Alcohol was a completely normal part of being students for us - we went out to socialise pretty much every night. Once the student bubble burst...	bt9007	9	3143	Jun 1, 2017 by el-cee
	5/19/17 ODAT – What If... (Preview) Today's page acknowledges that many questions brought to AlAnon involve 'what if'. Fear of what might happen is often at the heart of desperate actions. AlAnon suggests that trying to forecast the future actions of anyone, particularly a qualifier, is not helpful. By looking for or expecting neg...	Enigmatic	5	1531	Jun 1, 2017 by NewMe17
	5/31/17 Courage to Change - Our Epic Journey (Preview) Today's page compares our AlAnon recovery to the heroic quests of legend, where incredible challenges are faced and conquered in pursuit of a valuable treasure or task. As Odysseus had his odyssey, Jason his Golden Fleece, ours' is the great journey of spiritual self discovery. Our recovery journ...	Enigmatic	4	3005	May 31, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today May 30 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about feeling gratitude for where we are, right in this moment, and how Alanon helped us get here. When I think of myself before I began working a program, I think of someone who was scared, angry, anxious, angry and generally not happy in many ways. I felt the...	yanksfan51	9	3532	May 31, 2017 by _bunny_
	I have no idea what to do... (Preview) I have just got my daughter to admit she has a drinking problem. She has a 2 1/2 year old baby to look after but id drinking during the day. I am at a loss how to help...	Misterbroon	3	2381	May 31, 2017 by Faintly Falling
	A successful weekend; enforcing boundaries (Preview) Alcoholism is a family disease, and this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see how it had impacted my parents and sister. My grandfather was an alcoholic, although I didn't know him until he was active in AA and moved back to town to make amends to his sons and family. Last Friday, my wife and our thr...	Skorpi	4	2752	May 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	ESH needed after AH's binge (Preview) Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...	Lissie	5	943	May 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Self Sabotage (Preview) This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...	SerenityRUS	9	2875	May 31, 2017 by el-cee
	in limbo...feeling numb (Preview) Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...	newleaf66	12	2788	May 30, 2017 by newleaf66
	Newbie here (Preview) I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17 .trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965	Billy1965	4	2351	May 30, 2017 by Ali72
	The A is going to drink... (Preview) ...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Becaus...	Jayla	9	2976	May 30, 2017 by Jayla
	Party Time! (Preview) My birthday is this weekend. I had asked my AS if she would put together a small party with a few of our closest friends. She is coming through. Now I have a little dilemma. I typically drink beer with my friends during these social gatherings. I'd love to have some for this event and, frankly, my friends w...	WestMan	9	1121	May 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trouble speaking at meetings (Preview) This is kind of funny because I speak to groups of people almost daily. Some groups are less hospitable than others and I might get my feet held to the fire sometimes. It's stressful but I do alright. My point being I don't have any trouble with public speaking or even with staying what I feel or need in the...	WestMan	15	4135	May 29, 2017 by WestMan
	5/29/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind. Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang o...	Enigmatic	3	3119	May 29, 2017 by Lyne
	Principals Above Personalities- Meeting Issue (Preview) Hello all, I'm the alternate group rep for my local meeting. I've been a member of this home group for about 3 years. I'm having an issue I am not quite sure how to deal with. Its about business meetings and group conscience. Our GR has been in Alanon since December. Our treasurer has been a member...	Hello Kitty	7	2568	May 29, 2017 by Hello Kitty
	Courage To Change 28/5 (Posting for Betty) (Preview) The C2C reading for May 28 speaks about comparing ourselves to others which leads to despair. The reading suggest that the only true comparison is between myself as I used to be and myself as I am today. We can look back and see many examples of the grace of a higher power at work in our lives and cann see th...	MissM	7	2361	May 29, 2017 by MissM
	Don't Know What I Feel (Preview) I haven't posted on here for a while. Things seem to get better for a while and then something happens again. My husband has been a little better than he was, but he lately has started doing something (once to my daughter and once to me) where he will question us on something and then I guess if we don't gi...	Cammi45	2	2616	May 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	So today, I focus on me.... Humility (Preview) So interesting is I have found myself shifting my focus on my A, instead of myself. It's tricky like that, I think I am focused on me, but am I? Everywhere I turned today "humility" popped up. So today I am focusing on how that applies to me, right now in this moment. I went to my normal F2F Wednesday morning...	pumkin26	4	2704	May 28, 2017 by pumkin26
	How do you deal with the anxiety (Preview) Just wondering how you deal with the anxiety when your A drinks? I completely shut down and am in fight or flight mode until he goes to sleep. I always think I can predict when he's going to get drunk but I've proven time and time again that I can't. And every time I am let down. Even though I try to tell myself...	madowl86	5	1885	May 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Tired (Preview) Haven't been here in a while. It seems the last few months have been better or maybe I just am so used to the bad behaviour and binging I just don't care anymore. Tomorrow will be another day of him sleeping all day and not accomplishing anything because he will be hungover. Our plans for tomorrow night wi...	Jennyp	4	1923	May 27, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Two Steps Forward, One Step Back (Preview) It's interesting what changes and what stays the same. My alcoholic father is in the midst of a divorce from my step-mother. I say good for her for leaving. She deserves the chance at a happy life. So dad is now on his own in his own apartment. It's a nice place and he's going to be just fine in the divorce set...	Mikhail	2	2608	May 27, 2017 by Freetime
	Courage to Change 27/5 (Preview) Today's c2c is about continued disappointments, and how we can eventually close our hearts to the possibility of happiness and instead resign ourselves to unhappiness- if we can't be happy, we think, perhaps we can at least prevent ever being disappointed again. The reading points out that havin...	MissM	2	2211	May 27, 2017 by MissM
	Staying healthy or what?... (Preview) Hi, dear MIP friends :) I had a situation this afternoon I'd like to share and ask your ESH about. I'm currently living separately from my abf, and will continue to do so for 3 months. If after this time he isn't drinking, I'm moving back. (I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to my boundary, and movi...	Aline	8	540	May 27, 2017 by Aline
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/26/17 (Preview) Good morning all - happy Friday....it seems my body is still on AZ time! Today's reading discusses how we are asked to keep an open mind in Al-Anon. Many of us have tried to make stricter rules for our behavior to avoid repeating mistakes. This shows that we do learn from the experience, however the f...	Iamhere	6	700	May 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	When is it time to leave? (Preview) Hi everyone, as some of you read, my husband crossed the line last Friday and was physically aggressive with me. It started over him bothering me for money for pot and despite my efforts to disengage and not escalate things he jumped on me in bed literally being quiet, I was beside my daughter and he acte...	VickiR	11	641	May 26, 2017 by VickiR
	MY HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO METH..IN NEED OF ADVICE AND HELP (Preview) My husband and I have been married now for 9 months. Combined, we have 3 children, 2 of whom are from my previous relationship and live at home and one who his mother has custody over. When I met my husband, I knew he had a previous meth problem. He had been in recovery for quite sometime and I was confident t...	Emily-803	6	1772	May 26, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Obsession - Why? (Preview) I am obsessed, a lot. If its not the drinker in my life, its food, the gym, work, studying, food, the drinker, work etc on and on. I don't fully understand it. I can see that its part of my thinking disorder that alcoholism brings. I think it may be a distraction thing, a way of turning myself away from whats...	el-cee	11	1736	May 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	Keeping my serenity and finding the right tools (Preview) planning on going to visit foo this weekend ,my father and brother whom I'm very close to is my brother, my sister texted me letting me know that I was welcome to come visit ,lol,I'd already made plans way back. she is my challenge ,she isn't an addict or alcoholic ,never has been . she has all the traits of...	lookingup	3	518	May 25, 2017 by lookingup
	C2C (Courage to Change) 5/25/17 (Preview) Good morning all - so grateful to wake from my own bed with my own pillows!! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Denial. Denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism and both the A and those who love an A are often affected by denial more deeply than realized. We may have been living in chao...	Iamhere	2	490	May 25, 2017 by Aline
	The places we take ourselves eyes wide shut. (Preview) About 6 months ago, I posted about the loss of friends who were drinking acquaintances. It was a murder suicide. It still plays on my mind, sometimes pops up in dreams, as I think about life as a soul journey we undertake with others. On the surface, the event was written off as domestic violence. But...	a4l	4	531	May 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Needing Some ESH (Preview) Good morning MIP peeps! I was wondering if you would provide some wisdom on this... This morning I got a text from my AH. It read "I just wanted to tell you I love you." Now, we are not separated, but I am living "As IF" in the house. I have told him I think we should separate, but I don't think he remembers my st...	PosiesandPuppies	15	640	May 25, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	What do you "need' and how to get it .. (Preview) Something my daughter and I have been working on and it's bleeding over into other parts of my relationships is that issue of being able to identify "what I need and what I can give .. who do I go to knowing those needs will or won't be met". I'm learning how to just listen and wait for someone to ask a direct q...	SerenityRUS	3	790	May 24, 2017 by LinSC
	5/24/17 ODAT – How Recovery Begins... (Preview) Today's page considers Steps 1 & 2: First, that I am powerless over alcohol, and my confusion surrounding this fact has led to an unmanageable life. Next, I came to believe there was help, a power greater than myself, and I needed this help because my own best efforts left me less than sane. Witho...	Enigmatic	5	630	May 24, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Gratitude and assets (Preview) I'm shareing this with y'all today,my sponsor is away from a few days,miss her dearly she has also become my best Freind. im greatful for the birds singing outside my window ,for the beautiful days my hp has been blessing us with. assets...I'm strong,I'm reliable I'm compassionate and careing. have...	lookingup	7	1988	May 24, 2017 by Lyne
	Oh, Ugh! (Preview) Sot working my tools hard this weekend. Yesterday I came home to my AH drunk. I did all my post-work stuff, and finally got a moment to put my feet up with a cool drink. When what do I hear, but my AH yelling from our bedroom. Now, we usually watch TV in different rooms b/c he is usually drinking (but hiding it...	PosiesandPuppies	8	628	May 24, 2017 by KT2015
	Hope for Today May 24 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to how some of us have such difficulty in communicating as a result of living with the disease. The writer mentions growing up in a home where he/she eventually just kept quiet because there always seemed to be misunderstandings otherwuse. The gentl...	yanksfan51	4	525	May 23, 2017 by shrnp
	Sometimes it's a choice sometimes it's habit .. (Preview) "I don't believe it's an accident that we choose the people we do based upon our dysfunctional comfort zone." Someone asked me to share that statement as it was part of a conversation we were having off the boards. Sometimes people are picked in my life .. my parents and immediate family and sometimes...	SerenityRUS	9	541	May 23, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	And just like that BAM-- I am ANGRY (Preview) Ugh! Had a perfectly decent day today. Following my sense of unease from two days ago, to realization that yes, my A is deep in the disease to today. We had a birthday part planned for our youngest son. I put expectations aside yesterday, knew we would have family over and despite the lashing out/anger I...	pumkin26	11	637	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	The 4 m's (Preview) Martyrdom, Mothering, managing and manipulation. Tick tick tick tick. Yep this was me. Fear driven because I was terrified of the drinking and chaos and crisis and thought I could prevent them if I tried hard enough was pretty enough was nice enough was cooking enough having sex with him enough. Ar...	el-cee	5	776	May 22, 2017 by Aline
	Awareness (Preview) I'm a grateful member of alanon, grateful to be more awake to life than I've ever been. The awareness especially keep coming for me. I assume this is a non stop process. Recently I've become more aware of the words in step 3 the idea we can make a decision and stick to it. God's will is the goodies like kin...	el-cee	2	546	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Oh seriously wtf. (Preview) Spent some time with a very drunk A today. I made a judgement call...daughter was away for the night and he turned up all hot and sexy, demanding, "you've got 10 minutes. Get dressed up and we are going out". I did. Shoot me, it's been a while. It was fun, for a short while. Watching him shoot pool...he's so...	MissM	11	702	May 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Powerlessness (Preview) I love searching the board for topics on issues I am working on at the moment. I came across a thread from 2010 that Jerry F. started on working powerlessness. He was looking for ESH concerning powerlessness for his Super Saturday meeting and asked people to tell how they worked their powerlessness be...	Summerlady	4	665	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Loved ones (Preview) Hi everybody, as some of you might remember my brother that left to live homeless in tent city in Dallas Texas is now home, after a lot of trauma that happened to him in Texas,long story I won't get into. but you can just imagine the worst of worst scenarios of living a life like that, his choice due to alcoh...	lookingup	3	437	May 22, 2017 by lookingup
	5-22-17 ODAT – What Works... (Preview) ...keeping it simple. Today's reading focuses on the simplicity and effectiveness of AlAnon, as evident by the slogans: * Keep it Simple * Let Go, Let God * One Day at a Time * Easy Does It * Live and Let Live * First Things First Today's Reminder: Relax...often, doing nothing is doing more. "Slow motio...	Enigmatic	1	480	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Humility (Preview) I have learned a lot about humility since my recovery from drugs/alcohol. I would not have came to Alanon if I did not believe that humility can help me to continue to grow. Alanon is based on the AA program and humility is a big part of it. I have not seen any recent post about it. I wanted to share this blog...	shrnp	2	2144	May 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries - a really hard one (Preview) Dear all, I'm in something of a turmoil right now. A couple of days ago I left our apartment late at night, after a very ugly hour at home. To cut a long story short, he went into a rage, thrashing things, eventually ripping the blanket from me where I was trying to sleep in my bed, telling me he won't let me sl...	Aline	14	576	May 21, 2017 by LinSC
	Not sure how I feel--- (Preview) So I haven't posted in a while. I am working my program, my recovery, attending meetings, reaching out when those moments of anxiety hit. Things at home are calm. My A has been out of the house about 3 months. At first he struggled, then I struggled, and now we are in this place where it's starting to feel n...	pumkin26	9	541	May 21, 2017 by shrnp
	New to the forum & alanon. Dealing with anger & mourning. newbie angry trying to forgive (Preview) Quick summary: Started dating a sober man who was dealing with depression. Fell in love with him in part based on how honest he was about his battle with depression. We moved to another state together. He was prescribed a new medication by his new physician. My ex was very happy with this new medication...	new	6	15909	May 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Hello everyone (Preview) I haven't been posting here,doing more reading than anything, i do use my tools. quiet often,with lots of success,thanks to alanon today is my freinds wedding day, i was suppose to be a brides maid ,just didn't work out ,she had to have me for 5 days to learn how to walk out and such, so I promised her I'd be...	lookingup	8	517	May 21, 2017 by lookingup
	Son not speaking to A (Preview) A constant source of pain for me is that since my A offended my son and dtr-in-law on XMas eve, they have not seen her nor spoken to her. My son is also very angry at me for not leaving her. He does not understand Alanon and how I am detached with like/love, and how I will figure out my future in my time. I sug...	Lyne	2	460	May 21, 2017 by Mattie
	Courage To Change 21/5- Posting for Betty. (Preview) The C2C reading for May 21 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. This is indeed a powerful step and a deep reminder that we are unable to remove our own shortcomings. This step requires humility because we must acknowledge our dependence on a power greater t...	MissM	2	477	May 21, 2017 by Stan1
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.