Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jaybee · Jaybee

Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery. I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...

El · El

Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...

a4l · a4l

My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.

WestMan · WestMan

So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...

Iamhere · Iamhere

I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...

Mattie · Mattie

I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...

augrads · augrads

Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...

Katiki67 · Katiki67

I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...

Lyne · Lyne

Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...

MissM · MissM

. -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...

LinSC · LinSC

I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...

1breathatatime · 1breathatatime

Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...

Jayla · Jayla

A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...

Lyne · Lyne

One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...

WestMan · WestMan

Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...

Amy9087 · Amy9087

I'm new here. I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety today. Maybe someone can chat with me. I'm a SAHM of a toddler. My husband is a recovering alcoholic - about 60 days sober and I still experience anxiety and worry and dread when he has to go out with work colleagues or clients. Today is one of those worrisom...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of prayer in our lives. The reading points out, that if we pray" my will be done" this is exactly what we say when we ask God to do what we want. If we receive what we pray for-.how do we know it will really made us happy? We do not always know what's...

Kerry4058 · Kerry4058

I'm new to this forum and looking for other Mom's in my situation. My 29 year old daughter is an Alcoholic, she lives at home with my husband and I and her younger sister also lives here. She just relapsed again this week two days after getting her 60 day chip. Our whole house turns into turmoil when she sta...

Snow3 · Snow3

Hi, my live in girlfriend is recently off suboxone, she was on for a year and a half. She was addicted to opiates and vodka for about 4 years. She went of suboxone slowly and has been off a month now. I don't know her anymore. One minute you can talk to her and she's fine, the next minute she's unreasonable, s...

pixie · pixie

I'm keeping an eye on my ah for esophageal/rectal varices. I have found blood and quite a bit at a time but it never dawned on me it could be varices. I had never heard of this problem until a friend of mine told me her husband died from esophageal varices. He bled out on the bathroom floor,she called an a...

lookingup · lookingup

Ive had lots n lots of aha moments while reading every bodies post, showing my growth in the program,which is great. now to just get my full trust back,seems I'm skeptical theses days.......thank you for reading n replieing to my posts as well hugs lu

Iamhere · Iamhere

The daily reading in Hope for Today discusses how we can be addicted to the chaos/drama the disease brings, just as the alcoholic is addicted to the alcohol. While we may realize that it's damaging and insane, we are still 'comfortable' in it because it's consistent and patterned. It's possible th...

a4l · a4l

I love not sharing space with a partner. Since leaving, my headspace is clearer. I've been writing and am attempting to make a go of freelancing. The kids have been away for a weekend, which was great, and we're happy. Its funny how life started working out for both of us once I upped and left. I got stuck...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've had some insight lately into something that I am not the most proud of about myself. I can hold a grudge for a long time. And I'm really not very good at accepting apologies. A recent incident with a friend helped me see this. I had a friend who did something crappy, apologized pretty quickly abo...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c discusses the tendency addicts have to provoke arguments about irrelevant (or non-existent) things, to divert attention away from their substance abuse and it's effects. When we are attacked, we respond and try to argue back (or reason, plead, etc) and because we are arguing about som...

lookingup · lookingup

Anyone know where the donate button is? I may be over looking it dunno. thank you,,lu

lookingup · lookingup

Where you go Betty? are you here miss u.

mojotwist · mojotwist

I really need some help today. I'm having a difficult time dealing with my emotions. About 3 months ago my AH told me he wanted a divorce, gave me no reasons other than he'd been thinking about it for a long time and wanted out. I asked him why and he said it was 100% him but i continued to push. He then pro...

Junenine · Junenine

i'm realizing i need to LEAVE. ABF (was fiance) has habit of invading my privacy for no reason other than his own deep insecurity and possible OCD. we are already in a fragile place in our relationship and he did it again. he bugged my bedroom in my own home. i also know he's drinking again after supposed...

Ali72 · Ali72

Looking for support

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Today is a special day. My 27 year old son who gave me great grief as a teenager and brought me to my knees and then to Al-Anon, is getting married. It is a civil service at the courthouse and he has asked me to stand up for him. My husband, (his stepfather since he was 4 years old) will be joining us. I was...

T84 · T84

Hi everyoneNew to the groupI am currently dealing with an alcoholic wife. . We have been together for almost six years. During that time, she has picked up three DUIs. She has been to jail three times and rehab four times.Each and every time the famous words I am done, I am never drinking again were s...

a4l · a4l

I have a craving for a travel adventure. I've been in one country for five whole years now and the feet are getting itchy. I've acquired a terrible relationship to money, where as soon as it runs in the door, I take it by the hand, and together we skip right back out the door humming, live for today, live for...

Jayla · Jayla

So I took it personally yesterday and lost it with my A. It just hit me after experiencing this repeatedly that whenever I ask him if he wants to do something with me or the family his answer is always no. He just wants to be at home "relaxing" (i.e. drinking). But he has no problem making plans all the time w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP - sorry for the late post of the daily... Today's reading talks about the journey of recovery. What is discussed is how the 4th Step revealed the habit of assuming the destination was the 'end-game' and where the joy would be found. Often, we find that we are rushing through the days t...

hotrod · hotrod

Good afternoon MIP family. I am back from my exhausting, wonderful vacation which required that I use many of my Al-Anon tools in order to stay in the moment and in the day I am happy to report that the program works when I work it. I have posted the seventh step to the step work board and would apprecia...

bt9007 · bt9007

I have been with my wife for 11 years now and I am at a crossroads in our marriage all because of alcohol... We met when I was 19 and doing my undergraduate degree. Alcohol was a completely normal part of being students for us - we went out to socialise pretty much every night. Once the student bubble burst...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page acknowledges that many questions brought to AlAnon involve 'what if'. Fear of what might happen is often at the heart of desperate actions. AlAnon suggests that trying to forecast the future actions of anyone, particularly a qualifier, is not helpful. By looking for or expecting neg...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page compares our AlAnon recovery to the heroic quests of legend, where incredible challenges are faced and conquered in pursuit of a valuable treasure or task. As Odysseus had his odyssey, Jason his Golden Fleece, ours' is the great journey of spiritual self discovery. Our recovery journ...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about feeling gratitude for where we are, right in this moment, and how Alanon helped us get here. When I think of myself before I began working a program, I think of someone who was scared, angry, anxious, angry and generally not happy in many ways. I felt the...

Misterbroon · Misterbroon

I have just got my daughter to admit she has a drinking problem. She has a 2 1/2 year old baby to look after but id drinking during the day. I am at a loss how to help...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Alcoholism is a family disease, and this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see how it had impacted my parents and sister. My grandfather was an alcoholic, although I didn't know him until he was active in AA and moved back to town to make amends to his sons and family. Last Friday, my wife and our thr...

Lissie · Lissie

Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...

Billy1965 · Billy1965

I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17 .trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965

Jayla · Jayla

...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Becaus...

WestMan · WestMan

My birthday is this weekend. I had asked my AS if she would put together a small party with a few of our closest friends. She is coming through. Now I have a little dilemma. I typically drink beer with my friends during these social gatherings. I'd love to have some for this event and, frankly, my friends w...

WestMan · WestMan

This is kind of funny because I speak to groups of people almost daily. Some groups are less hospitable than others and I might get my feet held to the fire sometimes. It's stressful but I do alright. My point being I don't have any trouble with public speaking or even with staying what I feel or need in the...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind. Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Clarification and Suggestions Please (Preview) Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the program. I found this site looking for online meetings that I might attend while recovering from surgery. I was reading suggestions on how to converse with the addict in a helpful way and here is a statement that I don't really understand: " In conversa...	Jaybee	9	834	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Physically sober only (Preview) Hello all! Although I read the posts daily, I haven't written one in awhile. I can see that being physically sober only is not enough. AH had surgery and has not had alcohol for almost one month. He looks so much better! He is losing his "gut" and jowly face. His eyes are clear, his complexion is good a...	El	7	693	Jun 10, 2017 by shrnp
	Can an alcoholic "forget" they have imbibed? (Preview) Last night was hellish for me. In fact, the last 7 days has been difficult to hellish. I have an AH that currently thinks that I am unsupportive and unloving. Today I am trying to stay in my own lane and not engage with my AH about last night's drink-fest. He is pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep in the be...	PosiesandPuppies	26	5402	Jun 9, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Feeling happy and drained. (Preview) My mums here, were working on some cultural stuff. Its good. But I'm so drained. All these years I thought I was a lazy princess, I wasn't. I just get totally drained. Funny. Love her to pieces but god I'm tired.	a4l	5	662	Jun 9, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Countdown (Preview) So my AW and I are pretty much co-habitating (her word) more or less peacefully these days. We really have almost no relationship. Just taking care of the kids. Our conversations are focused on the day to day workings of family and house. We both want something else. I have long dreamed of having a bette...	WestMan	11	799	Jun 9, 2017 by KT2015
	Gratitude - In the Most Mysterious Things! (Preview) I've been slowly (and I mean slowly) going through and working to downsize my belongings and residence. Along this journey, I've found all kinds of things - pleasant memories and not so pleasant memories. Yesterday, I came upon a bag of panties I had purchased and apparently put into a closet and fo...	Iamhere	17	3161	Jun 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	The new chaos, same as the old chaos (Preview) I mentioned that my ex-AH came to visit our kid, and was living such a chaotic life that I threw him out and made him go stay in a hotel. He wasn't drunk, but his behavior was just compulsive and inconsiderate. I lost my cool, which I regret, but setting the boundary is not something I regret. He was in ver...	Mattie	4	748	Jun 8, 2017 by Jill
	Help. New to this group, haven't been to local meeting yet. Feeling lost and sad and anxious. (Preview) Hi. I found this site when I was looking for someone to talk to at this crazy hour of the night. I know I need to let go and work on me, but I am terrified of losing my husband and our life together. He's an alcoholic. Has been for as long as I have known him (we will have been married for 20 years in September...	augrads	16	750	Jun 8, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today - 6/8/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses commitment to working the program.....beyond just committing to try the program. The writer discusses how she heard 'get a sponsor' over and over again in early recovery. As she felt accepted and loved by the fellowship, she found her courage to get a sponsor. The spons...	Iamhere	4	566	Jun 8, 2017 by Lyne
	Trying to identify exact problem with BIL (Preview) Hi everyone. You welcomed me warmly around six months ago - thank you for that. I had explained that my younger sister died from cancer last summer. She has three children aged 20 (she has just finished 2nd year in university), 15 (he is doing state exams currently) and a two year old toddler. Her husban...	Faintly Falling	11	3050	Jun 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Learning to pause .. (Preview) before the meltdown .. I have gotten a LOT better about not taking any action before necessary .. now this can create different challenges in the sense of what is pause and what is avoidance .. LOL .. however pause is ok. My daughter has graduated and I can't believe she made it .. I honestly thought the l...	SerenityRUS	9	853	Jun 7, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	The opposite of frustration... (Preview) I'm hearing my former sponsor's voice especially regarding "working the opposites". This lesson was about when I found myself in a place I didn't like such as anger and frustration and impatience I should practice the opposites of that so that I could earn the better and more positive emotions an...	Jerry F	12	4631	Jun 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	6/7/17 ODAT – Polite, or Courteous? (Preview) Today's author compares showing courtesy to being polite. The writer notes that you can be polite to someone without being loving. Courtesy, however, involves loving concern, consideration for how someone feels and awareness of their needs. Practicing courtesy in the home gives opportunitie...	Enigmatic	6	617	Jun 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Scared of son (Preview) I have a 26 year old son that is a drinker and a gambler, he asked If he could move back home and i don't want him to. He has a very manipulative nature and lives off of women, namely his girlfriend and I, how can I say no without the guilt. He also had 2 kids one of whom he's turned his back on. I'm scared of t...	Katiki67	9	1172	Jun 7, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	My anniversary (Preview) Today is my 4 year anniversary and I am so happy and excited about it. Another woman in my group has her 4th also in June, and although the most of my group members seem to take it in stride, Alanon means so much to me that I am proud to have 4 years under my belt. 4 of the most important and best years of my life...	Lyne	12	629	Jun 7, 2017 by el-cee
	Nerves rattled at work....need ESH please! (Preview) Need some serious ESH to get me thru this morning..... My AH and I have been separated for a year due to the chaos of his drinking in our lives. Over this past year he has not worked any program and with me and the kids go e he has been on a downward spiral...losing a job every 1-2 months. Long story short I have...	Hopefull15	8	678	Jun 6, 2017 by Bethany66
	Hope ForToday June 6 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about detachment. Many of us have talked about how detachment can be a difficult concept, especially when first coming to the program. Today's reading goes beyond detaching with others, and adds that sometimes it is to our benefiit to detach from oursel...	yanksfan51	6	701	Jun 6, 2017 by Stan1
	Oops please delete (Preview) . -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:18:08 AM -- Edited by MissM on Tuesday 6th of June 2017 01:23:17 AM	MissM	6	1167	Jun 6, 2017 by el-cee
	Al-Anon in my daily life- interesting (Preview) Hi All! So something interesting happened to me over the last 4 days. I had a huge work event in which I was the lead and responsible not only for my co-workers and their responsibilities but also responsible for the well-being of others. I am in healthcare to make it simple. It is a long hard 4 days of on my...	pumkin26	5	606	Jun 6, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Wake up and be present in your life..... (Preview) I just have to emphasize and maybe a repeat of what Serenity 47 said. I was barely present in my own life! All energy and thoughts were focused on saving my sons life. I was sick too, I didn't know I couldn't do anything until I accepted my powerlessness. I can sit back and see so clearly now my mistakes tryi...	LinSC	4	691	Jun 5, 2017 by el-cee
	Jealousy issues, spouses addiction to flirt (Preview) Im trying to constantly look in at the hurts from my childhood of abandoment to understand why my husbands need to consistantly (for 20 plus years) of needing other women's attention, continue to feel so much hurt from this insesant need of his.. I do not believe he could stop even if he wanted to. He ne...	1breathatatime	11	3422	Jun 5, 2017 by WestMan
	6/5/17 C2C - Turn our Will and our Lives Over... (Preview) Today's page focuses on Step 3, where we turn our will and our life to the care of our higher power. For the author, that power is a loving and accepting presence. Turning will and life over makes room to accept this kind and loving care, much needed when dealing with the effects of alcoholism. This care...	Enigmatic	4	579	Jun 5, 2017 by Stan1
	W.O.W. (Preview) A while back I saw someone post on here that instead of driving yourself crazy checking up or people or situations just ask HP to show you the truth. That was a revelation to me. I literally had never thought of that before. So I asked HP to show me the truth about my AH's possible "activities" and HE DID! (A...	Jayla	7	1144	Jun 5, 2017 by Jayla
	Gratitude (Preview) One of my dogs has lymphoma and she has been receiving chemo for about 5-6 weeks. Towards the end of last week she stopped eating and drinking. I thought that was going to be it since there is no guarantee on treatment working. We've been wracking our brains to figure out what to try, and with the help o...	Lyne	3	624	Jun 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	Is that part of the disease? (Preview) Learning so many hard new lessons since finding out about my wife's alcoholism. I'll observe some trait that she exhibits and now I wonder if that's part of the disease or is it just one of those personality things that we all have..... For instance she has a difficult time making friends. If I'm trying...	WestMan	9	2868	Jun 5, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	New here having anxiety (Preview) I'm new here. I'm experiencing a bit of anxiety today. Maybe someone can chat with me. I'm a SAHM of a toddler. My husband is a recovering alcoholic - about 60 days sober and I still experience anxiety and worry and dread when he has to go out with work colleagues or clients. Today is one of those worrisom...	Amy9087	7	4995	Jun 4, 2017 by shrnp
	ODAT reading for Sunday 6-4-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for June 4 speaks about the importance of prayer in our lives. The reading points out, that if we pray" my will be done" this is exactly what we say when we ask God to do what we want. If we receive what we pray for-.how do we know it will really made us happy? We do not always know what's...	hotrod	3	2792	Jun 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Mom at the end of her rope... (Preview) I'm new to this forum and looking for other Mom's in my situation. My 29 year old daughter is an Alcoholic, she lives at home with my husband and I and her younger sister also lives here. She just relapsed again this week two days after getting her 60 day chip. Our whole house turns into turmoil when she sta...	Kerry4058	8	3424	Jun 3, 2017 by serenity47
	New here (Preview) Hi, my live in girlfriend is recently off suboxone, she was on for a year and a half. She was addicted to opiates and vodka for about 4 years. She went of suboxone slowly and has been off a month now. I don't know her anymore. One minute you can talk to her and she's fine, the next minute she's unreasonable, s...	Snow3	7	2450	Jun 3, 2017 by Jerry F
	Esophageal varicies (Preview) I'm keeping an eye on my ah for esophageal/rectal varices. I have found blood and quite a bit at a time but it never dawned on me it could be varices. I had never heard of this problem until a friend of mine told me her husband died from esophageal varices. He bled out on the bathroom floor,she called an a...	pixie	7	3314	Jun 3, 2017 by Jerry F
	Aha moments in alanon (Preview) Ive had lots n lots of aha moments while reading every bodies post, showing my growth in the program,which is great. now to just get my full trust back,seems I'm skeptical theses days.......thank you for reading n replieing to my posts as well hugs lu	lookingup	10	3178	Jun 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today - 6/2/17 (Preview) The daily reading in Hope for Today discusses how we can be addicted to the chaos/drama the disease brings, just as the alcoholic is addicted to the alcohol. While we may realize that it's damaging and insane, we are still 'comfortable' in it because it's consistent and patterned. It's possible th...	Iamhere	7	2707	Jun 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Nice to be free. (Preview) I love not sharing space with a partner. Since leaving, my headspace is clearer. I've been writing and am attempting to make a go of freelancing. The kids have been away for a weekend, which was great, and we're happy. Its funny how life started working out for both of us once I upped and left. I got stuck...	a4l	14	2555	Jun 3, 2017 by YARNCRAZY
	Holding a grudge/ not able to accept appologies (Preview) I've had some insight lately into something that I am not the most proud of about myself. I can hold a grudge for a long time. And I'm really not very good at accepting apologies. A recent incident with a friend helped me see this. I had a friend who did something crappy, apologized pretty quickly abo...	KT2015	11	3346	Jun 3, 2017 by Aline
	Courage To Change 3/6- How we respond to senseless arguments and deflection. (Preview) Today's c2c discusses the tendency addicts have to provoke arguments about irrelevant (or non-existent) things, to divert attention away from their substance abuse and it's effects. When we are attacked, we respond and try to argue back (or reason, plead, etc) and because we are arguing about som...	MissM	4	983	Jun 3, 2017 by Stan1
	Donate button. (Preview) Anyone know where the donate button is? I may be over looking it dunno. thank you,,lu	lookingup	2	2434	Jun 3, 2017 by lookingup
	Missing Betty,Hotrod (Preview) Where you go Betty? are you here miss u.	lookingup	5	2994	Jun 3, 2017 by hotrod
	Infidelity (Preview) I really need some help today. I'm having a difficult time dealing with my emotions. About 3 months ago my AH told me he wanted a divorce, gave me no reasons other than he'd been thinking about it for a long time and wanted out. I asked him why and he said it was 100% him but i continued to push. He then pro...	mojotwist	9	3615	Jun 2, 2017 by Wednesday
	devastated (again) & in need of ESH (Preview) i'm realizing i need to LEAVE. ABF (was fiance) has habit of invading my privacy for no reason other than his own deep insecurity and possible OCD. we are already in a fragile place in our relationship and he did it again. he bugged my bedroom in my own home. i also know he's drinking again after supposed...	Junenine	19	3338	Jun 2, 2017 by Junenine
	RE: Newbie here (Preview) Looking for support	Ali72	4	3950	Jun 2, 2017 by Wednesday
	Staying in the moment - One day at a time (Preview) Today is a special day. My 27 year old son who gave me great grief as a teenager and brought me to my knees and then to Al-Anon, is getting married. It is a civil service at the courthouse and he has asked me to stand up for him. My husband, (his stepfather since he was 4 years old) will be joining us. I was...	Bethany66	5	2690	Jun 2, 2017 by Aline
	Wife in Jail Again... (Preview) Hi everyoneNew to the groupI am currently dealing with an alcoholic wife. . We have been together for almost six years. During that time, she has picked up three DUIs. She has been to jail three times and rehab four times.Each and every time the famous words I am done, I am never drinking again were s...	T84	7	1145	Jun 2, 2017 by milkwood
	Just a ramble (Preview) I have a craving for a travel adventure. I've been in one country for five whole years now and the feet are getting itchy. I've acquired a terrible relationship to money, where as soon as it runs in the door, I take it by the hand, and together we skip right back out the door humming, live for today, live for...	a4l	10	1353	Jun 2, 2017 by Iamhere
	Lost it with my A (Preview) So I took it personally yesterday and lost it with my A. It just hit me after experiencing this repeatedly that whenever I ask him if he wants to do something with me or the family his answer is always no. He just wants to be at home "relaxing" (i.e. drinking). But he has no problem making plans all the time w...	Jayla	7	2935	Jun 2, 2017 by Bo
	Hope for Today - 6/1/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP - sorry for the late post of the daily... Today's reading talks about the journey of recovery. What is discussed is how the 4th Step revealed the habit of assuming the destination was the 'end-game' and where the joy would be found. Often, we find that we are rushing through the days t...	Iamhere	3	2200	Jun 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Seventh Step (Preview) Good afternoon MIP family. I am back from my exhausting, wonderful vacation which required that I use many of my Al-Anon tools in order to stay in the moment and in the day I am happy to report that the program works when I work it. I have posted the seventh step to the step work board and would apprecia...	hotrod	5	3064	Jun 1, 2017 by hotrod
	Alcoholic wife (Preview) I have been with my wife for 11 years now and I am at a crossroads in our marriage all because of alcohol... We met when I was 19 and doing my undergraduate degree. Alcohol was a completely normal part of being students for us - we went out to socialise pretty much every night. Once the student bubble burst...	bt9007	9	3444	Jun 1, 2017 by el-cee
	5/19/17 ODAT – What If... (Preview) Today's page acknowledges that many questions brought to AlAnon involve 'what if'. Fear of what might happen is often at the heart of desperate actions. AlAnon suggests that trying to forecast the future actions of anyone, particularly a qualifier, is not helpful. By looking for or expecting neg...	Enigmatic	5	1631	Jun 1, 2017 by NewMe17
	5/31/17 Courage to Change - Our Epic Journey (Preview) Today's page compares our AlAnon recovery to the heroic quests of legend, where incredible challenges are faced and conquered in pursuit of a valuable treasure or task. As Odysseus had his odyssey, Jason his Golden Fleece, ours' is the great journey of spiritual self discovery. Our recovery journ...	Enigmatic	4	3394	May 31, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today May 30 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about feeling gratitude for where we are, right in this moment, and how Alanon helped us get here. When I think of myself before I began working a program, I think of someone who was scared, angry, anxious, angry and generally not happy in many ways. I felt the...	yanksfan51	9	3969	May 31, 2017 by _bunny_
	I have no idea what to do... (Preview) I have just got my daughter to admit she has a drinking problem. She has a 2 1/2 year old baby to look after but id drinking during the day. I am at a loss how to help...	Misterbroon	3	2708	May 31, 2017 by Faintly Falling
	A successful weekend; enforcing boundaries (Preview) Alcoholism is a family disease, and this past weekend, I had the opportunity to see how it had impacted my parents and sister. My grandfather was an alcoholic, although I didn't know him until he was active in AA and moved back to town to make amends to his sons and family. Last Friday, my wife and our thr...	Skorpi	4	3095	May 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	ESH needed after AH's binge (Preview) Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...	Lissie	5	1042	May 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Self Sabotage (Preview) This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...	SerenityRUS	9	3221	May 31, 2017 by el-cee
	in limbo...feeling numb (Preview) Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...	newleaf66	12	3106	May 30, 2017 by newleaf66
	Newbie here (Preview) I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17 .trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965	Billy1965	4	2637	May 30, 2017 by Ali72
	The A is going to drink... (Preview) ...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Becaus...	Jayla	9	3295	May 30, 2017 by Jayla
	Party Time! (Preview) My birthday is this weekend. I had asked my AS if she would put together a small party with a few of our closest friends. She is coming through. Now I have a little dilemma. I typically drink beer with my friends during these social gatherings. I'd love to have some for this event and, frankly, my friends w...	WestMan	9	1230	May 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trouble speaking at meetings (Preview) This is kind of funny because I speak to groups of people almost daily. Some groups are less hospitable than others and I might get my feet held to the fire sometimes. It's stressful but I do alright. My point being I don't have any trouble with public speaking or even with staying what I feel or need in the...	WestMan	15	4691	May 29, 2017 by WestMan
	5/29/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind. Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang o...	Enigmatic	3	3634	May 29, 2017 by Lyne
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.