Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lissie · Lissie

Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...

Billy1965 · Billy1965

I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17 .trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965

Jayla · Jayla

...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Becaus...

WestMan · WestMan

My birthday is this weekend. I had asked my AS if she would put together a small party with a few of our closest friends. She is coming through. Now I have a little dilemma. I typically drink beer with my friends during these social gatherings. I'd love to have some for this event and, frankly, my friends w...

WestMan · WestMan

This is kind of funny because I speak to groups of people almost daily. Some groups are less hospitable than others and I might get my feet held to the fire sometimes. It's stressful but I do alright. My point being I don't have any trouble with public speaking or even with staying what I feel or need in the...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind. Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang o...

Hello Kitty · Hello Kitty

Hello all, I'm the alternate group rep for my local meeting. I've been a member of this home group for about 3 years. I'm having an issue I am not quite sure how to deal with. Its about business meetings and group conscience. Our GR has been in Alanon since December. Our treasurer has been a member...

MissM · MissM

The C2C reading for May 28 speaks about comparing ourselves to others which leads to despair. The reading suggest that the only true comparison is between myself as I used to be and myself as I am today. We can look back and see many examples of the grace of a higher power at work in our lives and cann see th...

Cammi45 · Cammi45

I haven't posted on here for a while. Things seem to get better for a while and then something happens again. My husband has been a little better than he was, but he lately has started doing something (once to my daughter and once to me) where he will question us on something and then I guess if we don't gi...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So interesting is I have found myself shifting my focus on my A, instead of myself. It's tricky like that, I think I am focused on me, but am I? Everywhere I turned today "humility" popped up. So today I am focusing on how that applies to me, right now in this moment. I went to my normal F2F Wednesday morning...

madowl86 · madowl86

Just wondering how you deal with the anxiety when your A drinks? I completely shut down and am in fight or flight mode until he goes to sleep. I always think I can predict when he's going to get drunk but I've proven time and time again that I can't. And every time I am let down. Even though I try to tell myself...

Jennyp · Jennyp

Haven't been here in a while. It seems the last few months have been better or maybe I just am so used to the bad behaviour and binging I just don't care anymore. Tomorrow will be another day of him sleeping all day and not accomplishing anything because he will be hungover. Our plans for tomorrow night wi...

Mikhail · Mikhail

It's interesting what changes and what stays the same. My alcoholic father is in the midst of a divorce from my step-mother. I say good for her for leaving. She deserves the chance at a happy life. So dad is now on his own in his own apartment. It's a nice place and he's going to be just fine in the divorce set...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c is about continued disappointments, and how we can eventually close our hearts to the possibility of happiness and instead resign ourselves to unhappiness- if we can't be happy, we think, perhaps we can at least prevent ever being disappointed again. The reading points out that havin...

Aline · Aline

Hi, dear MIP friends :) I had a situation this afternoon I'd like to share and ask your ESH about. I'm currently living separately from my abf, and will continue to do so for 3 months. If after this time he isn't drinking, I'm moving back. (I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to my boundary, and movi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all - happy Friday....it seems my body is still on AZ time! Today's reading discusses how we are asked to keep an open mind in Al-Anon. Many of us have tried to make stricter rules for our behavior to avoid repeating mistakes. This shows that we do learn from the experience, however the f...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, as some of you read, my husband crossed the line last Friday and was physically aggressive with me. It started over him bothering me for money for pot and despite my efforts to disengage and not escalate things he jumped on me in bed literally being quiet, I was beside my daughter and he acte...

Emily-803 · Emily-803

My husband and I have been married now for 9 months. Combined, we have 3 children, 2 of whom are from my previous relationship and live at home and one who his mother has custody over. When I met my husband, I knew he had a previous meth problem. He had been in recovery for quite sometime and I was confident t...

el-cee · el-cee

I am obsessed, a lot. If its not the drinker in my life, its food, the gym, work, studying, food, the drinker, work etc on and on. I don't fully understand it. I can see that its part of my thinking disorder that alcoholism brings. I think it may be a distraction thing, a way of turning myself away from whats...

lookingup · lookingup

planning on going to visit foo this weekend ,my father and brother whom I'm very close to is my brother, my sister texted me letting me know that I was welcome to come visit ,lol,I'd already made plans way back. she is my challenge ,she isn't an addict or alcoholic ,never has been . she has all the traits of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning all - so grateful to wake from my own bed with my own pillows!! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Denial. Denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism and both the A and those who love an A are often affected by denial more deeply than realized. We may have been living in chao...

a4l · a4l

About 6 months ago, I posted about the loss of friends who were drinking acquaintances. It was a murder suicide. It still plays on my mind, sometimes pops up in dreams, as I think about life as a soul journey we undertake with others. On the surface, the event was written off as domestic violence. But...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning MIP peeps! I was wondering if you would provide some wisdom on this... This morning I got a text from my AH. It read "I just wanted to tell you I love you." Now, we are not separated, but I am living "As IF" in the house. I have told him I think we should separate, but I don't think he remembers my st...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Something my daughter and I have been working on and it's bleeding over into other parts of my relationships is that issue of being able to identify "what I need and what I can give .. who do I go to knowing those needs will or won't be met". I'm learning how to just listen and wait for someone to ask a direct q...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers Steps 1 & 2: First, that I am powerless over alcohol, and my confusion surrounding this fact has led to an unmanageable life. Next, I came to believe there was help, a power greater than myself, and I needed this help because my own best efforts left me less than sane. Witho...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm shareing this with y'all today,my sponsor is away from a few days,miss her dearly she has also become my best Freind. im greatful for the birds singing outside my window ,for the beautiful days my hp has been blessing us with. assets...I'm strong,I'm reliable I'm compassionate and careing. have...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Sot working my tools hard this weekend. Yesterday I came home to my AH drunk. I did all my post-work stuff, and finally got a moment to put my feet up with a cool drink. When what do I hear, but my AH yelling from our bedroom. Now, we usually watch TV in different rooms b/c he is usually drinking (but hiding it...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to how some of us have such difficulty in communicating as a result of living with the disease. The writer mentions growing up in a home where he/she eventually just kept quiet because there always seemed to be misunderstandings otherwuse. The gentl...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

"I don't believe it's an accident that we choose the people we do based upon our dysfunctional comfort zone." Someone asked me to share that statement as it was part of a conversation we were having off the boards. Sometimes people are picked in my life .. my parents and immediate family and sometimes...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

Ugh! Had a perfectly decent day today. Following my sense of unease from two days ago, to realization that yes, my A is deep in the disease to today. We had a birthday part planned for our youngest son. I put expectations aside yesterday, knew we would have family over and despite the lashing out/anger I...

el-cee · el-cee

Martyrdom, Mothering, managing and manipulation. Tick tick tick tick. Yep this was me. Fear driven because I was terrified of the drinking and chaos and crisis and thought I could prevent them if I tried hard enough was pretty enough was nice enough was cooking enough having sex with him enough. Ar...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm a grateful member of alanon, grateful to be more awake to life than I've ever been. The awareness especially keep coming for me. I assume this is a non stop process. Recently I've become more aware of the words in step 3 the idea we can make a decision and stick to it. God's will is the goodies like kin...

MissM · MissM

Spent some time with a very drunk A today. I made a judgement call...daughter was away for the night and he turned up all hot and sexy, demanding, "you've got 10 minutes. Get dressed up and we are going out". I did. Shoot me, it's been a while. It was fun, for a short while. Watching him shoot pool...he's so...

Summerlady · Summerlady

I love searching the board for topics on issues I am working on at the moment. I came across a thread from 2010 that Jerry F. started on working powerlessness. He was looking for ESH concerning powerlessness for his Super Saturday meeting and asked people to tell how they worked their powerlessness be...

lookingup · lookingup

Hi everybody, as some of you might remember my brother that left to live homeless in tent city in Dallas Texas is now home, after a lot of trauma that happened to him in Texas,long story I won't get into. but you can just imagine the worst of worst scenarios of living a life like that, his choice due to alcoh...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

...keeping it simple. Today's reading focuses on the simplicity and effectiveness of AlAnon, as evident by the slogans: * Keep it Simple * Let Go, Let God * One Day at a Time * Easy Does It * Live and Let Live * First Things First Today's Reminder: Relax...often, doing nothing is doing more. "Slow motio...

shrnp · shrnp

I have learned a lot about humility since my recovery from drugs/alcohol. I would not have came to Alanon if I did not believe that humility can help me to continue to grow. Alanon is based on the AA program and humility is a big part of it. I have not seen any recent post about it. I wanted to share this blog...

Aline · Aline

Dear all, I'm in something of a turmoil right now. A couple of days ago I left our apartment late at night, after a very ugly hour at home. To cut a long story short, he went into a rage, thrashing things, eventually ripping the blanket from me where I was trying to sleep in my bed, telling me he won't let me sl...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So I haven't posted in a while. I am working my program, my recovery, attending meetings, reaching out when those moments of anxiety hit. Things at home are calm. My A has been out of the house about 3 months. At first he struggled, then I struggled, and now we are in this place where it's starting to feel n...

new · new

Quick summary: Started dating a sober man who was dealing with depression. Fell in love with him in part based on how honest he was about his battle with depression. We moved to another state together. He was prescribed a new medication by his new physician. My ex was very happy with this new medication...

lookingup · lookingup

I haven't been posting here,doing more reading than anything, i do use my tools. quiet often,with lots of success,thanks to alanon today is my freinds wedding day, i was suppose to be a brides maid ,just didn't work out ,she had to have me for 5 days to learn how to walk out and such, so I promised her I'd be...

Lyne · Lyne

A constant source of pain for me is that since my A offended my son and dtr-in-law on XMas eve, they have not seen her nor spoken to her. My son is also very angry at me for not leaving her. He does not understand Alanon and how I am detached with like/love, and how I will figure out my future in my time. I sug...

MissM · MissM

The C2C reading for May 21 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. This is indeed a powerful step and a deep reminder that we are unable to remove our own shortcomings. This step requires humility because we must acknowledge our dependence on a power greater t...

el-cee · el-cee

My interpretation of the program and my own journey has led me to see that we all have similar symptoms having being effected by the disease of alcoholism. I think we could all agree on the fact that most diseases have a common set of symptoms, like if you look up eczema or diabetes or any disease there are...

DavidG · DavidG

I very rarely start a thread here, but here goes... As we woke this morning there was a sheet of snow on the ground. In this part of the world winter is not too far away. Before long, as the sun rose I could hear excited cries of children. No Christmas presents- just a christmassy touch to the morning. Lat...

el-cee · el-cee

Living with alcoholism means we are living with or have lived with a person who drinks or were effected themselves by a drinker but as far as I've learned the disease doesn't end there. Its within us, living with a drinker or not. So, we talk over and over about the drinker, desperately trying to underst...

VickiR · VickiR

My Friday night is starting out like a lot do, no sign of my husband after work. That is no big deal, I really enjoy my time alone at this point and have moved on being caught up in his actions. This weekend is different because it's the long weekend and we have plans to head up to my family's cottage in the mor...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

My AH is sleeping it off. I am all alone, shaking. Came home drunk. Lied and lied even though we have had counseling about trust and truth in a marriage. He has had sporadic drinking episodes, now it is escalating. He had been clean for many, many years at one time. There have been promises, asking...

Bailey71 · Bailey71

my wife of 16 years went into AA last year after her father's death, she'd been drinking for 30 years. then restarted her count when she went off Ritalin two months ago. she'd been self-medicating on Ritalin for 15 years. She's highly functional, very accomplished we had an amazing relationship a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Just working through some feelings after attending my bf daughter's graduation yesterday. He was told in advance that she had plans for lunch with her mother and family and would be spending time afterwards with friends. It was an awkward situation when we met up with her after the graduation to take...

andromeda · andromeda

I'm traveling this week for work. Putting in 14 hour days at our training center and I'm exhausted. My son has finished school as of Wednesday and he had been dealing with some anxiety about his future, etc. So, he was already not having a 100% week. My son texted me yesterday and told me "I'm really an...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

I am posting to not only vent, but mostly to show how Al-Anon has helped me today. So last night was a jazz night at a local eatery to raise money for my son's high school marching band program. I have been planing this for months, so my AH was well aware. In the past I would have underlying anxiety wonderin...

sunny123 · sunny123

10 years ago I got divorced from an alcoholic. It was the best thing to happen to me even though after 13 years together, I it felt like my world was crumbling at the time. I went to a lot of counseling, did a lot of reading and received a lot of support from here. In fact, this board was one of the reasons I had...

andromeda · andromeda

So,I am in corporate training for work this week, putting in 14 hour days. My son texted me earlier to tell me that his dad was out of control. He said his father sat on him, pulled his t shirt and shoved him to the couch, and threw his phone across the room (among other things)......anyway, my heart brea...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

Hello, For those of you who have seen my previous posts, I am the one about to have a baby (2 days) and my ABF went through a horrible relapse (yelling, anger, verbal abuse, slamming things around). Well, now he is coming out of it and last night it was really bothering me because I feel like he thinks that...

LoveNHope · LoveNHope

I am still new to the Alanon thing, have gone to about 6 or so meetings. When people say "when I was working Alanon hard, and life got better/things improved/etc"... this is hard for me to understand. How do things improve when you have an alcoholic partner going through a rage/tantrum and you have a li...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

First I want to preface this by stating if nothing changed except you can you see yourself in the relationship 5 days/weeks/months/years (obviously that turns from 5 to 20 in a flash). I also realize that some people do stay because the only thing that changed was them and that is not a negative in the l...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I apologize for this being so tardy .. lol .. typical day where I realized I raced out of the house and left my book/s at home and thought about the fact as I was digging around in the trunk of my car fighting with the wind since I actually wore a dress. LOL .. oh the joys at times .. anyways .. better late than n...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	ESH needed after AH's binge (Preview) Hi everyone, I started Al Anon in January after a very turbulent holiday season and am so thankful for this board and my F2F group. My husband is a functioning/binge drinker. He drinks for hours at a time almost every single day. Yesterday for example, he drank for over 12 hours and then drove to the stor...	Lissie	5	888	May 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Self Sabotage (Preview) This is something I have really dealt with my whole life and I don't know why I do the things to myself I do. I really try my hardest at being good at all of the different roles I fill .. however I find myself falling short in these areas and I am talking I fall short .. I will come in late knowing I'm late to work...	SerenityRUS	9	2733	May 31, 2017 by el-cee
	in limbo...feeling numb (Preview) Not been here in awhile, felt like I was getting honesty in my marriage and that my AH was trying to work on his problems with alcohol. Turns out, no surprise really, that he's just gotten better at lying. He admits at least that his intake is much more than I think. In the end, after one lie too many, one m...	newleaf66	12	2650	May 30, 2017 by newleaf66
	Newbie here (Preview) I'm new to alanon.i just come home from being on a hard drugs.ive been in 2 rehab. I'm sober from all since April 12 2017.im trying to gain my grown kids which are daughter age 23 son age 17 .trust back.thought this would be the place to start.thank you for listening to me ....billy1965	Billy1965	4	2217	May 30, 2017 by Ali72
	The A is going to drink... (Preview) ...so what am I going to do? The answer is apparently... sleep lol. For about a week I've actually managed to detach enough to stop blowing up his phone while he is drinking. I call once so the kids can talk to him and then no more after that. I haven't been getting mad at him. I've been going to sleep! Becaus...	Jayla	9	2819	May 30, 2017 by Jayla
	Party Time! (Preview) My birthday is this weekend. I had asked my AS if she would put together a small party with a few of our closest friends. She is coming through. Now I have a little dilemma. I typically drink beer with my friends during these social gatherings. I'd love to have some for this event and, frankly, my friends w...	WestMan	9	1072	May 30, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trouble speaking at meetings (Preview) This is kind of funny because I speak to groups of people almost daily. Some groups are less hospitable than others and I might get my feet held to the fire sometimes. It's stressful but I do alright. My point being I don't have any trouble with public speaking or even with staying what I feel or need in the...	WestMan	15	3859	May 29, 2017 by WestMan
	5/29/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page notes that worry and fear have the power to change our perception and obscure reality, to turn a neutral situation or statement into something threatening inside the mind. Keeping focus on the present keeps the mind from running around in the future where worry and fear typically hang o...	Enigmatic	3	2961	May 29, 2017 by Lyne
	Principals Above Personalities- Meeting Issue (Preview) Hello all, I'm the alternate group rep for my local meeting. I've been a member of this home group for about 3 years. I'm having an issue I am not quite sure how to deal with. Its about business meetings and group conscience. Our GR has been in Alanon since December. Our treasurer has been a member...	Hello Kitty	7	2427	May 29, 2017 by Hello Kitty
	Courage To Change 28/5 (Posting for Betty) (Preview) The C2C reading for May 28 speaks about comparing ourselves to others which leads to despair. The reading suggest that the only true comparison is between myself as I used to be and myself as I am today. We can look back and see many examples of the grace of a higher power at work in our lives and cann see th...	MissM	7	2226	May 29, 2017 by MissM
	Don't Know What I Feel (Preview) I haven't posted on here for a while. Things seem to get better for a while and then something happens again. My husband has been a little better than he was, but he lately has started doing something (once to my daughter and once to me) where he will question us on something and then I guess if we don't gi...	Cammi45	2	2462	May 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	So today, I focus on me.... Humility (Preview) So interesting is I have found myself shifting my focus on my A, instead of myself. It's tricky like that, I think I am focused on me, but am I? Everywhere I turned today "humility" popped up. So today I am focusing on how that applies to me, right now in this moment. I went to my normal F2F Wednesday morning...	pumkin26	4	2539	May 28, 2017 by pumkin26
	How do you deal with the anxiety (Preview) Just wondering how you deal with the anxiety when your A drinks? I completely shut down and am in fight or flight mode until he goes to sleep. I always think I can predict when he's going to get drunk but I've proven time and time again that I can't. And every time I am let down. Even though I try to tell myself...	madowl86	5	1760	May 28, 2017 by Iamhere
	Tired (Preview) Haven't been here in a while. It seems the last few months have been better or maybe I just am so used to the bad behaviour and binging I just don't care anymore. Tomorrow will be another day of him sleeping all day and not accomplishing anything because he will be hungover. Our plans for tomorrow night wi...	Jennyp	4	1805	May 27, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Two Steps Forward, One Step Back (Preview) It's interesting what changes and what stays the same. My alcoholic father is in the midst of a divorce from my step-mother. I say good for her for leaving. She deserves the chance at a happy life. So dad is now on his own in his own apartment. It's a nice place and he's going to be just fine in the divorce set...	Mikhail	2	2448	May 27, 2017 by Freetime
	Courage to Change 27/5 (Preview) Today's c2c is about continued disappointments, and how we can eventually close our hearts to the possibility of happiness and instead resign ourselves to unhappiness- if we can't be happy, we think, perhaps we can at least prevent ever being disappointed again. The reading points out that havin...	MissM	2	2064	May 27, 2017 by MissM
	Staying healthy or what?... (Preview) Hi, dear MIP friends :) I had a situation this afternoon I'd like to share and ask your ESH about. I'm currently living separately from my abf, and will continue to do so for 3 months. If after this time he isn't drinking, I'm moving back. (I'm pretty proud of myself for sticking to my boundary, and movi...	Aline	8	493	May 27, 2017 by Aline
	Courage to Change (C2C) 5/26/17 (Preview) Good morning all - happy Friday....it seems my body is still on AZ time! Today's reading discusses how we are asked to keep an open mind in Al-Anon. Many of us have tried to make stricter rules for our behavior to avoid repeating mistakes. This shows that we do learn from the experience, however the f...	Iamhere	6	636	May 26, 2017 by Iamhere
	When is it time to leave? (Preview) Hi everyone, as some of you read, my husband crossed the line last Friday and was physically aggressive with me. It started over him bothering me for money for pot and despite my efforts to disengage and not escalate things he jumped on me in bed literally being quiet, I was beside my daughter and he acte...	VickiR	11	580	May 26, 2017 by VickiR
	MY HUSBAND IS ADDICTED TO METH..IN NEED OF ADVICE AND HELP (Preview) My husband and I have been married now for 9 months. Combined, we have 3 children, 2 of whom are from my previous relationship and live at home and one who his mother has custody over. When I met my husband, I knew he had a previous meth problem. He had been in recovery for quite sometime and I was confident t...	Emily-803	6	1654	May 26, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Obsession - Why? (Preview) I am obsessed, a lot. If its not the drinker in my life, its food, the gym, work, studying, food, the drinker, work etc on and on. I don't fully understand it. I can see that its part of my thinking disorder that alcoholism brings. I think it may be a distraction thing, a way of turning myself away from whats...	el-cee	11	1607	May 25, 2017 by Jerry F
	Keeping my serenity and finding the right tools (Preview) planning on going to visit foo this weekend ,my father and brother whom I'm very close to is my brother, my sister texted me letting me know that I was welcome to come visit ,lol,I'd already made plans way back. she is my challenge ,she isn't an addict or alcoholic ,never has been . she has all the traits of...	lookingup	3	461	May 25, 2017 by lookingup
	C2C (Courage to Change) 5/25/17 (Preview) Good morning all - so grateful to wake from my own bed with my own pillows!! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about Denial. Denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism and both the A and those who love an A are often affected by denial more deeply than realized. We may have been living in chao...	Iamhere	2	442	May 25, 2017 by Aline
	The places we take ourselves eyes wide shut. (Preview) About 6 months ago, I posted about the loss of friends who were drinking acquaintances. It was a murder suicide. It still plays on my mind, sometimes pops up in dreams, as I think about life as a soul journey we undertake with others. On the surface, the event was written off as domestic violence. But...	a4l	4	480	May 25, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Needing Some ESH (Preview) Good morning MIP peeps! I was wondering if you would provide some wisdom on this... This morning I got a text from my AH. It read "I just wanted to tell you I love you." Now, we are not separated, but I am living "As IF" in the house. I have told him I think we should separate, but I don't think he remembers my st...	PosiesandPuppies	15	594	May 25, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	What do you "need' and how to get it .. (Preview) Something my daughter and I have been working on and it's bleeding over into other parts of my relationships is that issue of being able to identify "what I need and what I can give .. who do I go to knowing those needs will or won't be met". I'm learning how to just listen and wait for someone to ask a direct q...	SerenityRUS	3	689	May 24, 2017 by LinSC
	5/24/17 ODAT – How Recovery Begins... (Preview) Today's page considers Steps 1 & 2: First, that I am powerless over alcohol, and my confusion surrounding this fact has led to an unmanageable life. Next, I came to believe there was help, a power greater than myself, and I needed this help because my own best efforts left me less than sane. Witho...	Enigmatic	5	568	May 24, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Gratitude and assets (Preview) I'm shareing this with y'all today,my sponsor is away from a few days,miss her dearly she has also become my best Freind. im greatful for the birds singing outside my window ,for the beautiful days my hp has been blessing us with. assets...I'm strong,I'm reliable I'm compassionate and careing. have...	lookingup	7	1855	May 24, 2017 by Lyne
	Oh, Ugh! (Preview) Sot working my tools hard this weekend. Yesterday I came home to my AH drunk. I did all my post-work stuff, and finally got a moment to put my feet up with a cool drink. When what do I hear, but my AH yelling from our bedroom. Now, we usually watch TV in different rooms b/c he is usually drinking (but hiding it...	PosiesandPuppies	8	579	May 24, 2017 by KT2015
	Hope for Today May 24 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading speaks to how some of us have such difficulty in communicating as a result of living with the disease. The writer mentions growing up in a home where he/she eventually just kept quiet because there always seemed to be misunderstandings otherwuse. The gentl...	yanksfan51	4	471	May 23, 2017 by shrnp
	Sometimes it's a choice sometimes it's habit .. (Preview) "I don't believe it's an accident that we choose the people we do based upon our dysfunctional comfort zone." Someone asked me to share that statement as it was part of a conversation we were having off the boards. Sometimes people are picked in my life .. my parents and immediate family and sometimes...	SerenityRUS	9	494	May 23, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	And just like that BAM-- I am ANGRY (Preview) Ugh! Had a perfectly decent day today. Following my sense of unease from two days ago, to realization that yes, my A is deep in the disease to today. We had a birthday part planned for our youngest son. I put expectations aside yesterday, knew we would have family over and despite the lashing out/anger I...	pumkin26	11	579	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	The 4 m's (Preview) Martyrdom, Mothering, managing and manipulation. Tick tick tick tick. Yep this was me. Fear driven because I was terrified of the drinking and chaos and crisis and thought I could prevent them if I tried hard enough was pretty enough was nice enough was cooking enough having sex with him enough. Ar...	el-cee	5	696	May 22, 2017 by Aline
	Awareness (Preview) I'm a grateful member of alanon, grateful to be more awake to life than I've ever been. The awareness especially keep coming for me. I assume this is a non stop process. Recently I've become more aware of the words in step 3 the idea we can make a decision and stick to it. God's will is the goodies like kin...	el-cee	2	495	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Oh seriously wtf. (Preview) Spent some time with a very drunk A today. I made a judgement call...daughter was away for the night and he turned up all hot and sexy, demanding, "you've got 10 minutes. Get dressed up and we are going out". I did. Shoot me, it's been a while. It was fun, for a short while. Watching him shoot pool...he's so...	MissM	11	653	May 22, 2017 by WestMan
	Powerlessness (Preview) I love searching the board for topics on issues I am working on at the moment. I came across a thread from 2010 that Jerry F. started on working powerlessness. He was looking for ESH concerning powerlessness for his Super Saturday meeting and asked people to tell how they worked their powerlessness be...	Summerlady	4	612	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Loved ones (Preview) Hi everybody, as some of you might remember my brother that left to live homeless in tent city in Dallas Texas is now home, after a lot of trauma that happened to him in Texas,long story I won't get into. but you can just imagine the worst of worst scenarios of living a life like that, his choice due to alcoh...	lookingup	3	390	May 22, 2017 by lookingup
	5-22-17 ODAT – What Works... (Preview) ...keeping it simple. Today's reading focuses on the simplicity and effectiveness of AlAnon, as evident by the slogans: * Keep it Simple * Let Go, Let God * One Day at a Time * Easy Does It * Live and Let Live * First Things First Today's Reminder: Relax...often, doing nothing is doing more. "Slow motio...	Enigmatic	1	423	May 22, 2017 by Iamhere
	Humility (Preview) I have learned a lot about humility since my recovery from drugs/alcohol. I would not have came to Alanon if I did not believe that humility can help me to continue to grow. Alanon is based on the AA program and humility is a big part of it. I have not seen any recent post about it. I wanted to share this blog...	shrnp	2	1944	May 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries - a really hard one (Preview) Dear all, I'm in something of a turmoil right now. A couple of days ago I left our apartment late at night, after a very ugly hour at home. To cut a long story short, he went into a rage, thrashing things, eventually ripping the blanket from me where I was trying to sleep in my bed, telling me he won't let me sl...	Aline	14	526	May 21, 2017 by LinSC
	Not sure how I feel--- (Preview) So I haven't posted in a while. I am working my program, my recovery, attending meetings, reaching out when those moments of anxiety hit. Things at home are calm. My A has been out of the house about 3 months. At first he struggled, then I struggled, and now we are in this place where it's starting to feel n...	pumkin26	9	468	May 21, 2017 by shrnp
	New to the forum & alanon. Dealing with anger & mourning. newbie angry trying to forgive (Preview) Quick summary: Started dating a sober man who was dealing with depression. Fell in love with him in part based on how honest he was about his battle with depression. We moved to another state together. He was prescribed a new medication by his new physician. My ex was very happy with this new medication...	new	6	14337	May 21, 2017 by shrnp
	Hello everyone (Preview) I haven't been posting here,doing more reading than anything, i do use my tools. quiet often,with lots of success,thanks to alanon today is my freinds wedding day, i was suppose to be a brides maid ,just didn't work out ,she had to have me for 5 days to learn how to walk out and such, so I promised her I'd be...	lookingup	8	469	May 21, 2017 by lookingup
	Son not speaking to A (Preview) A constant source of pain for me is that since my A offended my son and dtr-in-law on XMas eve, they have not seen her nor spoken to her. My son is also very angry at me for not leaving her. He does not understand Alanon and how I am detached with like/love, and how I will figure out my future in my time. I sug...	Lyne	2	409	May 21, 2017 by Mattie
	Courage To Change 21/5- Posting for Betty. (Preview) The C2C reading for May 21 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. This is indeed a powerful step and a deep reminder that we are unable to remove our own shortcomings. This step requires humility because we must acknowledge our dependence on a power greater t...	MissM	2	430	May 21, 2017 by Stan1
	By the way, we are all insane!!! (Preview) My interpretation of the program and my own journey has led me to see that we all have similar symptoms having being effected by the disease of alcoholism. I think we could all agree on the fact that most diseases have a common set of symptoms, like if you look up eczema or diabetes or any disease there are...	el-cee	6	1690	May 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today, May 20th... (Preview) I very rarely start a thread here, but here goes... As we woke this morning there was a sheet of snow on the ground. In this part of the world winter is not too far away. Before long, as the sun rose I could hear excited cries of children. No Christmas presents- just a christmassy touch to the morning. Lat...	DavidG	5	490	May 21, 2017 by Iamhere
	We've got it backwards (Preview) Living with alcoholism means we are living with or have lived with a person who drinks or were effected themselves by a drinker but as far as I've learned the disease doesn't end there. Its within us, living with a drinker or not. So, we talk over and over about the drinker, desperately trying to underst...	el-cee	15	638	May 21, 2017 by el-cee
	Preemptive advice (Preview) My Friday night is starting out like a lot do, no sign of my husband after work. That is no big deal, I really enjoy my time alone at this point and have moved on being caught up in his actions. This weekend is different because it's the long weekend and we have plans to head up to my family's cottage in the mor...	VickiR	12	536	May 20, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feeling so all alone and afraid of my future with AH (Preview) My AH is sleeping it off. I am all alone, shaking. Came home drunk. Lied and lied even though we have had counseling about trust and truth in a marriage. He has had sporadic drinking episodes, now it is escalating. He had been clean for many, many years at one time. There have been promises, asking...	wifeofalcoholic	4	616	May 20, 2017 by tiredtonite
	My relationship of 16 years ended abruptly - need help to understand (Preview) my wife of 16 years went into AA last year after her father's death, she'd been drinking for 30 years. then restarted her count when she went off Ritalin two months ago. she'd been self-medicating on Ritalin for 15 years. She's highly functional, very accomplished we had an amazing relationship a...	Bailey71	11	458	May 20, 2017 by shrnp
	Just Need to Let It Go (Preview) Just working through some feelings after attending my bf daughter's graduation yesterday. He was told in advance that she had plans for lunch with her mother and family and would be spending time afterwards with friends. It was an awkward situation when we met up with her after the graduation to take...	tiredtonite	11	657	May 20, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	My EXAH physically abused my son yesterday (Preview) I'm traveling this week for work. Putting in 14 hour days at our training center and I'm exhausted. My son has finished school as of Wednesday and he had been dealing with some anxiety about his future, etc. So, he was already not having a 100% week. My son texted me yesterday and told me "I'm really an...	andromeda	6	565	May 20, 2017 by YARNCRAZY
	But it's been 5 days since I had a drink! (Preview) I am posting to not only vent, but mostly to show how Al-Anon has helped me today. So last night was a jazz night at a local eatery to raise money for my son's high school marching band program. I have been planing this for months, so my AH was well aware. In the past I would have underlying anxiety wonderin...	PosiesandPuppies	6	481	May 20, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Any advice? (Preview) 10 years ago I got divorced from an alcoholic. It was the best thing to happen to me even though after 13 years together, I it felt like my world was crumbling at the time. I went to a lot of counseling, did a lot of reading and received a lot of support from here. In fact, this board was one of the reasons I had...	sunny123	7	571	May 19, 2017 by Iamhere
	My XAH physically abused my son today.... (Preview) So,I am in corporate training for work this week, putting in 14 hour days. My son texted me earlier to tell me that his dad was out of control. He said his father sat on him, pulled his t shirt and shoved him to the couch, and threw his phone across the room (among other things)......anyway, my heart brea...	andromeda	6	514	May 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	Anyone here know or who is with a "dry drunk"? (Preview) Hello, For those of you who have seen my previous posts, I am the one about to have a baby (2 days) and my ABF went through a horrible relapse (yelling, anger, verbal abuse, slamming things around). Well, now he is coming out of it and last night it was really bothering me because I feel like he thinks that...	LoveNHope	3	950	May 19, 2017 by Mattie
	Still trying to understand how working the Alanon steps helps your life with an alcoholic (Preview) I am still new to the Alanon thing, have gone to about 6 or so meetings. When people say "when I was working Alanon hard, and life got better/things improved/etc"... this is hard for me to understand. How do things improve when you have an alcoholic partner going through a rage/tantrum and you have a li...	LoveNHope	11	739	May 19, 2017 by _bunny_
	If nothing changed .. (Preview) First I want to preface this by stating if nothing changed except you can you see yourself in the relationship 5 days/weeks/months/years (obviously that turns from 5 to 20 in a flash). I also realize that some people do stay because the only thing that changed was them and that is not a negative in the l...	SerenityRUS	7	531	May 19, 2017 by LoveNHope
	5/18 ODAT - My Will (Preview) I apologize for this being so tardy .. lol .. typical day where I realized I raced out of the house and left my book/s at home and thought about the fact as I was digging around in the trunk of my car fighting with the wind since I actually wore a dress. LOL .. oh the joys at times .. anyways .. better late than n...	SerenityRUS	1	388	May 18, 2017 by Iamhere
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