The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Some of you here might remember I was away from my abf for a week or so. Well, I decided to come back - and I decided this because I finally understood what detaching means - first and foremost not to make other people the focus of my thoughts but rather me. After the brief separation from the A it became much easier, although not effortless. I feel that with my newly-found attitude I can at least give this relationship a go, with full understanding that things might not turn out in favor of continuing the relashionship. I'm okay with that.
So now I'm trying to mind my own business, reclaiming my own life piece by piece. It's a hard daily work, I had lost so much of myself in the insanity of alcoholism over a period of years. Got a plan for a case of super craziness at home - a family friend living nearby said I could stay for the night at their place anytime if I need to. Have a small amount of money stashed just so I feel more secure. Trying to come up with a reasonable plan to separate our finances (I'm earning enough to support myself). We have lived for so long not counting whose money goes where, and unsurprisingly it has most often been my money going to him, not the other way around. Started doing the steps on my own, I just don't feel ready to approach someone as a sponsor, and also I'm not sure who could that be anyway from the meetings.
I feel like I'm a freaking onion, and removing each layer of crazy thinking is not easy. It brings relief, but only after some tears (figuratively, mostly). Also, it involves daily work, otherwise the old layers want to grow back and attach themselves to me again...
When I left my abf (last time, lol), it was because I was fed up and angry. What I'm striving for now is to be happy and healthy, and then - I shall see what I shall see. Not there yet, but at least I've started this road to recovery.
I wanted to share this with you all. This forum and all the posts here are my daily go-to now, and I'm so grateful to everyone here who are sharing this journey with me, one day at a time.
((Aline)) Detachment is a powerful tool. I am pleased that you are implementing it with such success. I agree MIP is indeed a fantastic recovery place so please do keep coming back.
Thank you for your lovely share. It does work when we work it. Please keep coming back.
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for your kind words and support, it means very much to me. I had a peaceful evening after a day of errands all over the city. Glad I went by a bicycle, chores turned into a recreational event :)
