Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

fm1 · fm1

New here, need some help or feedback. A few years ago, I began to suspect that my wifes drinking had escalated to the point of alcoholism. I thought of myself at the time as a moderate drinker, but now recognize that I was a problem drinker also, though my drinking was kept somewhat in check by the fact tha...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! I'm traveling with work this week, and my internet is rather spotty, so I'm using yesterday's sharing from the Today's Hope app. The share is about motives. The author reflects on how important it is to check their motives before taking action or speaking. Before springing into...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

Hi all, I am now living with my stbex AH while we go through mediation. We are getting on pretty well now that we are not trying to maintain a marriage that just wasnt going to work . In fact he makes a better friend than husband. Thats all well and good but I am still trying to emotionally detach. I want t...

joker · joker

|First and foremost thanks to this message board. I have not been able to get to meetings as I have been sick, so this message board has been a life saver for me. Last night the ABF started drinking and I read a comment from a member, about using EAR PLUGS! Well, I did last night and it was a life saver, thank...

Lil99 · Lil99

Hi everyone, Here's the thing .. I got in from work today and supposed to be packing to go on holiday tomorrow with AH. I've been looking forward to it for ages. But he was on one when I got home, and I couldn't do right for doing wrong. I let him get to me, he just seems to know how to push the right buttons to...

joker · joker

Addiction/Alcoholism are progressive and while some things present the same, many other things do not. What is usually consistent is denial and fantasy-land-living. This applies to both the alcoholic/addict as well as family member/friends. I read this on another post and I can so relate, fanta...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hey everyone !! Hope all is OK with everyone...I have been busy trying to get more PT work for Tuesdays....Plus I need to re-home this little male pup I rescued some months back...3 is too much, especially when the male is so hyper and hard to work with...So my doggie rescue friend and I are looking for a (...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

My parents lost their home of 41 years to the Cascade Fire in Yuba County, California. In the middle of the night on Sunday in to Monday they fled for their lives as the fire swept through their little town on 70-80 mile an hour winds. They lost everything but a tractor and a telescope. They are in their...

maria k · maria k

It was not what I expected. I pictured a small group, sitting in chairs arranged in a circle, sharing each others' experiences with our loved one/ones with the drinking problem. Rather, the first 15 minutes of the meeting were spent taking turns reading word for word out of a book. Afterwards was sh...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

So my AH is not "typical" alcoholic--more like a problem drinker. He drinks almost every evening anywhere from 2-6 beers. He gets loud, drunk swearing, talking at the TV (like a 50 year old frat boy). So I have been going to Al-Anon to help me cope with my anger, frustration,anxiety, etc over excess...

joker · joker

I would be a crappy partner... even if he gets sober one day. This is from another member and my goodness, this statement is so true to me. I just had an ah moment. Detachment, possible. Wake up call possible. I see what the therapist I had been seeing means. She says I am not marriage or relationship mater...

bettyk · bettyk

The ODAT reading for October 17, speaks about how, unconsciously we can be directing and controlling of others. They offer examples such as, saying"it's almost time for church,get ready".," do not take the car out in this weather." It's almost time for sleep etc. The reading points out that these a...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us learned to cope by either inaction, reaction, or some combination of both. As I was reading I -- I don't think 'doing nothing' was ever in my repetoire and then I thought again...how many situations have I been in when I kept my mouth shut but...

joker · joker

As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...

Lyne · Lyne

Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...

Jan S · Jan S

i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...

Old Soul Scorpio · Old Soul Scorpio

I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...

joker · joker

If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...

joker · joker

the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...

joker · joker

As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...

maria k · maria k

Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naïve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...

angelawang · angelawang

I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...

CarlyH · CarlyH

I'm so full of anger for the woman whos been in my life for 3 years. she's an alcoholic and she's lied and treated me very badly. Ive allowed her to do that. I've never been treated so badly but made the excuse she was ill and that she didn't mean it and when she was better everything would be ok..ive told...

tracig · tracig

I have been married to my AH for nearly 19 years and he has drank for that whole time. He just seriously tried to stop drinking in Jan of this year. He did an outpatient rehab and AA and did well for a couple of months. And then something, he can't tell me what, caused him to veer off the path. So then we went to t...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am so mad at myself for being in this situation again. As soon as I think things might be ok, BAM they are totally out of control. My ah has been saying that he is going to AA and maybe he is, but he has also been sneaking around and drinking behind my back. This has caused arguments where I am falling back...

LinSC · LinSC

I am the one who stayed and tried my best to raise him and his brother alone, his dad left the state and more or less abandoned him. Why isnt he mad at him, instead its all my fault....I guess this is called misplaced anger or something like that. He is in his early 30's and does not drink anymore, but does not...

Fergie · Fergie

hi everyone. I don't post often, but today I have to "talk" with someone who understands alcoholism and the crazy stuff that happens because of it. I have been taking care of my mother in laws finances after she could no longer keep up, with permission from the family ( and I wanted to help in this way). I...

Lyne · Lyne

I'm in a difficult phase of my life, but maybe they all have been. Or maybe my serenity is slipping due to ongoing stress with my A, moving, sick animals, family stuff, etc. I need patience, my tools, compassion, acceptance, etc., and I feel exhausted. Each day has new challenges and the happy and fu...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

i began to post wondering if i was looking for self pity .. nope .. already found that one all by myself lol .. i am just looking to be in a fellowship with others who understand or have felt what i have .. feelings can still be so large for me sometimes .. course i'm an adult child of alcoholism so .. everythin...

bettyk · bettyk

The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...

a4l · a4l

Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest. On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic. On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...

shenny · shenny

this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...

bobosensei · bobosensei

My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...

Demartine · Demartine

My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...

joker · joker

Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...

Janetuc52 · Janetuc52

Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...

LKSG8R · LKSG8R

I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...

KT2015 · KT2015

I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Thirty years ago yesterday, I entered Rehab for Alcoholism. For a long while, I counted 10/7 as my sobriety day. It dawned on me about 10 years ago that I need it to change to 10/8 as that's the first day I was truly substance free - I went to rehab highly intoxicated and on God knows what type of additiona...

atheos · atheos

(For anyone who hasn't heard the term before, ESH = experience, strength, and hope) I have been in the program for a few years. I go to face-to-face meetings, and have recently started working with a sponsor again. In many ways, I have improved, especially in how I interact with qualifiers. But there i...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am not sure how to feel when I have a good day. We are fresh from a crisis (2weeks) and I have been mad, crying, sad, scared and very angry. I am tired of it all. I have been going to counseling, he attended AA, I have been attending alanon, going to church, praying and it is all helping so much. My ah has n...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for October 10th introduces the thought that without faith in a Power Greater than ourselves. we are like a ship without a rudder and if we attempt to battle the world by ourselves from our limited strength and wisdom we will that it is insufficient. The reading goes on to point out...

GeorgiaWife14 · GeorgiaWife14

I was married for almost 24 years, my ex husband has been a part of my life for more than 35 years. he became an alcoholic in the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I was there for several attempts to get sober including in patient rehab. In 2014 I had to save myself and divorce, when he relapsed and went throu...

mamalioness · mamalioness

This little book is the "12 steps prayer book" and today , it goes into the 4 "A's" of recovery...Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude and it talks about going into my inventory and reminding myself that I am only human...I have limitations...I am not the HP or Universal power....it calls f...

El · El

Hello MIP! Well, I usually write about or refer to my AH as my qualifier. I also have a daughter who struggles with depression, anxiety, and self medication with alcohol. She is all over the place with her moods and over the years she has gone to therapy, been on and off meds (she is off now and refuses to...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i always been a very helpful person. however,even after detaching and leaving my ex 2 yrs ago and getting out of his circus i find myself ireistably drawn into other people's circuses..my boyfriend's circus and now his smart but not practical savy nieces.i keep allowing myself to be sucked up in her p...

mamakat71 · mamakat71

I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my...

Jlilley · Jlilley

Just wanted to share I went to my first al-Anon meeting today And so glad I got past the nerves of going I felt warmth and understanding and I feel it has lifted some of the isolation I was feeling and already I can recognise a lot of what Iâve been doing Which hasnât been helping my situation and I have creat...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I had this adopted daughter who was extremely passive aggressive towards me to the extent that she actually put me at serious health risk or loss of my drivers license scenario one...I had serious bronchitis about 4-5 years ago that was going into pneumonia...my nurse practitioner out of our hospi...

Lyne · Lyne

Thoughts on HP: The writer says that he/she thought of God as his adversary , and she was not going to submit to His will. But over time Alanon taught him that surrendering did not mean "submission." It meant that she could stop fighting reality, and admit that she was not in control. By these awaren...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...

Jayla · Jayla

It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Please Help (Preview) New here, need some help or feedback. A few years ago, I began to suspect that my wifes drinking had escalated to the point of alcoholism. I thought of myself at the time as a moderate drinker, but now recognize that I was a problem drinker also, though my drinking was kept somewhat in check by the fact tha...	fm1	6	526	Oct 18, 2017 by Jerry F
	Today's Hope October 18 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! I'm traveling with work this week, and my internet is rather spotty, so I'm using yesterday's sharing from the Today's Hope app. The share is about motives. The author reflects on how important it is to check their motives before taking action or speaking. Before springing into...	Skorpi	4	410	Oct 18, 2017 by mamakat71
	Serenity now! (Preview) Hi all, I am now living with my stbex AH while we go through mediation. We are getting on pretty well now that we are not trying to maintain a marriage that just wasnt going to work . In fact he makes a better friend than husband. Thats all well and good but I am still trying to emotionally detach. I want t...	BethBethBeth	1	369	Oct 18, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	making progress (Preview) \|First and foremost thanks to this message board. I have not been able to get to meetings as I have been sick, so this message board has been a life saver for me. Last night the ABF started drinking and I read a comment from a member, about using EAR PLUGS! Well, I did last night and it was a life saver, thank...	joker	4	429	Oct 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Help I've really lost the plot this time (Preview) Hi everyone, Here's the thing .. I got in from work today and supposed to be packing to go on holiday tomorrow with AH. I've been looking forward to it for ages. But he was on one when I got home, and I couldn't do right for doing wrong. I let him get to me, he just seems to know how to push the right buttons to...	Lil99	4	1384	Oct 18, 2017 by Maresie
	fantasy land living (Preview) Addiction/Alcoholism are progressive and while some things present the same, many other things do not. What is usually consistent is denial and fantasy-land-living. This applies to both the alcoholic/addict as well as family member/friends. I read this on another post and I can so relate, fanta...	joker	3	606	Oct 18, 2017 by Maresie
	just stopping in to say "hey" to you all (Preview) Hey everyone !! Hope all is OK with everyone...I have been busy trying to get more PT work for Tuesdays....Plus I need to re-home this little male pup I rescued some months back...3 is too much, especially when the male is so hyper and hard to work with...So my doggie rescue friend and I are looking for a (...	mamalioness	4	589	Oct 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	Prayers needed for my parents (Preview) My parents lost their home of 41 years to the Cascade Fire in Yuba County, California. In the middle of the night on Sunday in to Monday they fled for their lives as the fire swept through their little town on 70-80 mile an hour winds. They lost everything but a tractor and a telescope. They are in their...	Bethany66	10	566	Oct 17, 2017 by mamalioness
	Attended my first Al-Anon meeting yesterday (Preview) It was not what I expected. I pictured a small group, sitting in chairs arranged in a circle, sharing each others' experiences with our loved one/ones with the drinking problem. Rather, the first 15 minutes of the meeting were spent taking turns reading word for word out of a book. Afterwards was sh...	maria k	17	2593	Oct 17, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	Just want to pass something by you (Preview) So my AH is not "typical" alcoholic--more like a problem drinker. He drinks almost every evening anywhere from 2-6 beers. He gets loud, drunk swearing, talking at the TV (like a 50 year old frat boy). So I have been going to Al-Anon to help me cope with my anger, frustration,anxiety, etc over excess...	Dancer66	7	516	Oct 17, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	being a partner (Preview) I would be a crappy partner... even if he gets sober one day. This is from another member and my goodness, this statement is so true to me. I just had an ah moment. Detachment, possible. Wake up call possible. I see what the therapist I had been seeing means. She says I am not marriage or relationship mater...	joker	8	471	Oct 17, 2017 by Maresie25
	ODAT Reading 10-17-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for October 17, speaks about how, unconsciously we can be directing and controlling of others. They offer examples such as, saying"it's almost time for church,get ready".," do not take the car out in this weather." It's almost time for sleep etc. The reading points out that these a...	bettyk	2	334	Oct 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Oct 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how some of us learned to cope by either inaction, reaction, or some combination of both. As I was reading I -- I don't think 'doing nothing' was ever in my repetoire and then I thought again...how many situations have I been in when I kept my mouth shut but...	yanksfan51	7	397	Oct 16, 2017 by DavidG
	Focus on the disease (Preview) As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...	joker	3	386	Oct 16, 2017 by maryjane
	C2C, 10/16 (Preview) Alanon is a program of action: The writer reminds us that we have choices about what we do with our time. We don't have to waste it on worry and we are not helpless. We can do something good for ourselves even if surrounded by crisis. Today's Reminder: One of my primary responsibilitIves is to take ca...	Lyne	4	374	Oct 16, 2017 by mamakat71
	Signs my alcoholic is drinking again (Preview) i am new to al anon so I struggle with having trust when I see familiar signs my son is drinking again, Two rehabs and both time he returned to drinking within two weeks. This time its been 2 months but now I see those signs returning, the lying, saying everything is fine when you know it really isnt. I str...	Jan S	5	527	Oct 16, 2017 by Neroli
	Struggling with husband returning any advice (Preview) Me and my AH seperated on the view to him getting some help he is a Functioning alcoholic so can go a few days maybe just having the odd pint now but only a week ago he had more went out and relapsed has more than a few so in my mind he still cant say no and isnt recovered he wont do AA even though Im getting help he s...	Jlilley	6	474	Oct 16, 2017 by Bettertomorrow
	I'm am idiot (Preview) I left an alcoholic husband. Now I'm engaged to a meth addict/alcoholic. The two men are as different as night and day. The ex husband was moody and miserable. The fiance is fun, passionate, and entertaining. I've never pushed him to quit because I never saw it as a problem. He is very functional for the...	Old Soul Scorpio	8	442	Oct 16, 2017 by Maresie25
	Hope for me (Preview) If it don't kill him first, it will me. i just read this from another member...oh my goodness, yep, i can relate. what is the solution for me...to protect myself..detach, remove myself from his active drinking, do not react, live in reality, accept what is and know only him and his his higher power can...	joker	2	326	Oct 16, 2017 by MeTwo2
	FUN (Preview) the happy and fun times have been scarce . I know I need to arrange them for myself. I just read this comment from a member and I see that I have to do this for myself too. I can depend on the ABF to bring happy and fun times as when he is drunk, its a complete embarrassment to me. In fact. it has become, to the po...	joker	0	315	Oct 15, 2017 by joker
	Focus on the disease (Preview) As long as u focus on ur A (sober, dry or not) u are feeding the disease. Just read this from a post and its oh my goodness, this makes complete sense to me. this is my part in the insanity. I am focused, focused on the ABF, his behaviors, actions, words, thoughts, insane thoughts, drunkenness, drunk talk...	joker	1	307	Oct 15, 2017 by Dancer66
	A Good Thing (Preview) So earlier on in my journey, I posted about how my AH would always eat and drink in our bed... and because oftentimes that is where he would drink and pass out, he would spill (or pee, or vomit). The most infuriating thing is that he would always spill on MY side of the bed... never his!!! As part of my progra...	PosiesandPuppies	8	689	Oct 15, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	It is frustrating to not know what "normal" is (Preview) Hello All. I have been married to my AH for 25 years. All this time I have always known that things seemed somewhat "off". We never seemed to be like other couples. I've also always known that his drinking habits seemed to be unlike those of anyone else I knew. As a naïve 24 year old it never clicked in my he...	maria k	5	837	Oct 15, 2017 by DellaElle
	LOST newbie (Preview) I'm lost. My darling husband has been drinking more and more. I don't know how much he drinks as he's quite good at hiding it, 'just going to the shop' ..etc.. We have conversations at dinner (which he cooks!) and then he often forgets the discussion. My son and I are very open in front of him and tell him...	angelawang	6	3436	Oct 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	Angry (Preview) I'm so full of anger for the woman whos been in my life for 3 years. she's an alcoholic and she's lied and treated me very badly. Ive allowed her to do that. I've never been treated so badly but made the excuse she was ill and that she didn't mean it and when she was better everything would be ok..ive told...	CarlyH	9	2148	Oct 15, 2017 by MeTwo2
	New Here- so confused (Preview) I have been married to my AH for nearly 19 years and he has drank for that whole time. He just seriously tried to stop drinking in Jan of this year. He did an outpatient rehab and AA and did well for a couple of months. And then something, he can't tell me what, caused him to veer off the path. So then we went to t...	tracig	5	408	Oct 15, 2017 by tracig
	Bad day (Preview) I am so mad at myself for being in this situation again. As soon as I think things might be ok, BAM they are totally out of control. My ah has been saying that he is going to AA and maybe he is, but he has also been sneaking around and drinking behind my back. This has caused arguments where I am falling back...	mamakat71	3	477	Oct 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why is he angry at me? (Preview) I am the one who stayed and tried my best to raise him and his brother alone, his dad left the state and more or less abandoned him. Why isnt he mad at him, instead its all my fault....I guess this is called misplaced anger or something like that. He is in his early 30's and does not drink anymore, but does not...	LinSC	12	629	Oct 14, 2017 by Cathyinaz
	Taking care of myself (Preview) hi everyone. I don't post often, but today I have to "talk" with someone who understands alcoholism and the crazy stuff that happens because of it. I have been taking care of my mother in laws finances after she could no longer keep up, with permission from the family ( and I wanted to help in this way). I...	Fergie	7	542	Oct 14, 2017 by Fergie
	Lately everyday feels like a test (Preview) I'm in a difficult phase of my life, but maybe they all have been. Or maybe my serenity is slipping due to ongoing stress with my A, moving, sick animals, family stuff, etc. I need patience, my tools, compassion, acceptance, etc., and I feel exhausted. Each day has new challenges and the happy and fu...	Lyne	5	461	Oct 14, 2017 by Jerry F
	What am i looking for tonight .. hmm (Preview) i began to post wondering if i was looking for self pity .. nope .. already found that one all by myself lol .. i am just looking to be in a fellowship with others who understand or have felt what i have .. feelings can still be so large for me sometimes .. course i'm an adult child of alcoholism so .. everythin...	MeTwo2	6	534	Oct 14, 2017 by MeTwo2
	ODAT READING 10-14-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading For October 14 speaks about our attitudes when we first arrived at an Al-Anon meeting. It suggests that initially we attend the meeting in order to get"something". We do not understand the fact that "getting" is intimately involved with giving.As we keep coming back we soon di...	bettyk	1	357	Oct 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	It’s a waiting game he’s (Preview) Feel like I dont know if Im doing the right thing at the moment been a hard couple of months. My husband as been a drinker for the past ten years started out as a couple of cans after work and escalated over a period of ten years to around 10 cans a night Ive watched the disease take over him and we have had so ma...	Jlilley	12	2632	Oct 14, 2017 by DiNoiaAtHeart
	AA or Alanon? (Preview) A few months ago I started going to 5 Alanon meetings a week, one AA/Alanon split meeting a week, and one AA open speaker mixed meeting a week. I started going to the AA meetings because a rehab friend of my daughter suggested it, so I could get a better perspective of what she is going through. My daughter...	Buckeye Girl	4	534	Oct 14, 2017 by 1911A1
	Whoops. (Preview) Ugh. Sometimes I hear hornets buzzing and just wander right in to the nest. On the plus side, its probably a good thing that I've spent so much time not having toxic relationships I'd forgotten the fear dynamic. On the negative side, I'm sometimes a little too reckless and chose to ignore my instinct...	a4l	4	451	Oct 13, 2017 by bettyk
	Better Late Than Never - Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/17 (Preview) Today's reading is all about "Easy Does It". The writer shares that in Al-Anon, she learned that many previous coping mechanisms - yelling, reacting, slamming doors, etc. did not work to change anything. In recovery, instead we learn to pause and consider the outcome desired and then select a nex...	Iamhere	5	454	Oct 13, 2017 by bettyk
	daily 10th step inventory questions 10th step stepwork inventory (Preview) this is the list of daily inventory questions that I found in Paths to Recovery p. 107 - 108. i'm working step 10 with my sponsor and am starting these tonight. figured it might be useful if they existed on the forum so folks can cut and paste them if they want.what were the major events of the day?what feel...	shenny	12	11513	Oct 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Making the choice to leave (Preview) My boyfriend is in recovery. He currently lives in a sober house, but a month ago he had a relapse that I'm pretty sure he didn't tell his sponsor about. My concern now is that he has two high stress issues going on. The first is a court hearing for child support where the issue of visitation will be brou...	bobosensei	15	749	Oct 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Trying to understand all this I’m still learning never dealt with this (Preview) My husband just entered alcohol rehab in Las Cruces New Mexico every time I try to talk to him when he starts yelling at me and assuming things to her not true I have never dealt with this before I asked him one question maybe I shouldve never asked him do you think about me in the rehab recovery I am so confus...	Demartine	5	1000	Oct 13, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/12/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the power of recovery and that if we work this program earnestly, we find that it involves as much unlearning as it does learning. Many of us arrive at recovery hoping for the 'secret answer' to make our loved one stop drinking. We believe we need this to be happy and live ha...	Iamhere	3	447	Oct 12, 2017 by mamakat71
	Having a wake up moment (Preview) Just read this from another member post and it hit me- I know personally if I am around the chaos and divisiveness and self destruction an active addict/alcoholic brings I get pretty angry. This explains to me why I have been angry, resentful, hurt, all the negative emotions I have felt for years. Its b...	joker	5	1899	Oct 12, 2017 by el-cee
	Family issues (Preview) Attending meetings, learning to work steps, daughter completed 90 day Rehab, enrolled in 12 week Out Patient Program, attends a 12 week after care Rehab program and attends local AA meetings. Shes 38, married for 10 years, rocky marriage, and no kids. She decided to return to her husband against f...	Janetuc52	7	546	Oct 12, 2017 by Maresie
	Courage to Change October 11 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about understanding vs. living. The author shares that, when they first came to Al-Anon, they used the tool of over-analysis to try to understand the program. They kept their mind busy with these questions, but their analysis did not make l...	Skorpi	3	867	Oct 12, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	waiting....waiting...well today is that day (Preview) I am not surprised. I have no proof, but I am sure my ah drank today. The reason I have no proof? I am not willing to ask when I believe he has been actively drinking today. There is no point. He will deny, become angry and we will just fight about it. I can see it in his eyes and face. I can hear it in his "ta...	mamakat71	7	516	Oct 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Dealing with a spouse's enabling (Preview) I wrote yesterday that my 21 y.o. AS tore up all of the family pictures throughout our house. If i had been home I would've stopped him, even if it meant calling the police. My more serious issue is that my husband was home at the time and didn't address it. He says my son was "lashing out" and just needed to g...	LKSG8R	3	551	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	I think my anger is actually fear/grief (Preview) I've been really struggling with my AH and his drinking a lot lately. I just seem to need to try to get him to manage it (control it) and I can't stop myself. I got myself all bent out of shape about the fact that a few weeks ago he drank and we were supposed to spend some alone time together. I've been silen...	KT2015	10	2260	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	Hardware Store for Bread.... (Preview) Thirty years ago yesterday, I entered Rehab for Alcoholism. For a long while, I counted 10/7 as my sobriety day. It dawned on me about 10 years ago that I need it to change to 10/8 as that's the first day I was truly substance free - I went to rehab highly intoxicated and on God knows what type of additiona...	Iamhere	17	788	Oct 11, 2017 by Maresie25
	ESH on lack of confidence? (Preview) (For anyone who hasn't heard the term before, ESH = experience, strength, and hope) I have been in the program for a few years. I go to face-to-face meetings, and have recently started working with a sponsor again. In many ways, I have improved, especially in how I interact with qualifiers. But there i...	atheos	5	515	Oct 11, 2017 by Jerry F
	how do you handle a good day? (Preview) I am not sure how to feel when I have a good day. We are fresh from a crisis (2weeks) and I have been mad, crying, sad, scared and very angry. I am tired of it all. I have been going to counseling, he attended AA, I have been attending alanon, going to church, praying and it is all helping so much. My ah has n...	mamakat71	10	530	Oct 11, 2017 by _bunny_
	ODAT Reading 10-10-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for October 10th introduces the thought that without faith in a Power Greater than ourselves. we are like a ship without a rudder and if we attempt to battle the world by ourselves from our limited strength and wisdom we will that it is insufficient. The reading goes on to point out...	hotrod	4	535	Oct 11, 2017 by nursedebbi
	Loss (Preview) I was married for almost 24 years, my ex husband has been a part of my life for more than 35 years. he became an alcoholic in the last 10-12 years of our marriage. I was there for several attempts to get sober including in patient rehab. In 2014 I had to save myself and divorce, when he relapsed and went throu...	GeorgiaWife14	8	590	Oct 10, 2017 by Jerry F
	the 12 step prayer book--the 4 A's (Preview) This little book is the "12 steps prayer book" and today , it goes into the 4 "A's" of recovery...Acceptance, Awareness, Action and Attitude and it talks about going into my inventory and reminding myself that I am only human...I have limitations...I am not the HP or Universal power....it calls f...	mamalioness	4	2333	Oct 10, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Trying so hard to detach (Preview) Hello MIP! Well, I usually write about or refer to my AH as my qualifier. I also have a daughter who struggles with depression, anxiety, and self medication with alcohol. She is all over the place with her moods and over the years she has gone to therapy, been on and off meds (she is off now and refuses to...	El	10	565	Oct 10, 2017 by El
	butting in to other peoples circuses (Preview) i always been a very helpful person. however,even after detaching and leaving my ex 2 yrs ago and getting out of his circus i find myself ireistably drawn into other people's circuses..my boyfriend's circus and now his smart but not practical savy nieces.i keep allowing myself to be sucked up in her p...	YARNCRAZY	3	558	Oct 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Continuing the journey (Preview) I am still here and trying to learn how to do this program. I am working on step 3 this week. I have been keeping a journal, posting on the boards, went to church and just busy with trying to be positive and really take one day at a time. It feels weird to be taking care of my needs. I am still worried that my...	mamakat71	3	397	Oct 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	First face to face al-Anon meeting (Preview) Just wanted to share I went to my first al-Anon meeting today And so glad I got past the nerves of going I felt warmth and understanding and I feel it has lifted some of the isolation I was feeling and already I can recognise a lot of what Iâve been doing Which hasnât been helping my situation and I have creat...	Jlilley	4	450	Oct 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	VERY long post, but I need to share--it hurts but I did the right thing, for ME!!! (Preview) I had this adopted daughter who was extremely passive aggressive towards me to the extent that she actually put me at serious health risk or loss of my drivers license scenario one...I had serious bronchitis about 4-5 years ago that was going into pneumonia...my nurse practitioner out of our hospi...	mamalioness	6	587	Oct 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	C2C, 10/9 (Preview) Thoughts on HP: The writer says that he/she thought of God as his adversary , and she was not going to submit to His will. But over time Alanon taught him that surrendering did not mean "submission." It meant that she could stop fighting reality, and admit that she was not in control. By these awaren...	Lyne	5	403	Oct 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	Went to court to file papers today (Preview) So this may end up being a rant at the "System," but, so be it. I had been preparing to file for legal separation for awhile now... every time I feel ready, something drastic comes up. I finally said it must be done, so I had a free consultation with an attorney, looked up online how to file in LA County... ba...	PosiesandPuppies	12	2241	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	STILL Struggling with Guilt (Preview) It's been about 4 months since I discovered my AH was also having an affair and kicked him out of our house. The 3 kids and I have adjusted pretty well. I realized that my life is so much more peaceful without the alcoholic drama and chaos of staying up nights wondering what he's doing and when he's coming h...	Jayla	5	1859	Oct 8, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.