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Just dropping in to say "howdy" and hope all of you are fine
(Preview)
its been a while I don't even know where to start except I have been on a "house deep fixing up" cleaning, and I mean DEEP cleaning, painting, upgrading lil things here and there and even some larger things...The place looks so much cleaner, happier and updated, LOL...yea, I know how to scrub down stuf...
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mamalioness
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8
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589
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Talking up the group here...
(Preview)
Hi y'all... when I first arrived here my hometown group had collapsed. It was a shocker for me. I discussed the reasons then- and do not need to do this now. The nearest group is only 30 mins away... and I have been a few times. Last time I went a newer member had called for a group conscience- and wa...
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DavidG
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14
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421
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Detach/Acceptance
(Preview)
I can finally start to see some progress in myself. It has taken a long while to get to this stage of detaching and accepting. For a long long while I tried to control the outcome for my AD. I set boundaries but they were not really boundaries they were manipulations to get her to conform and change. I...
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serenity47
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4
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433
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Visitation and next steps
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Looking for some ESH. I sold my house this week (hooray!) - bittersweet obviously, I love my home but I know it will set me free to move to my own place and leave this behind. My STBXAH pulled some last minute extortion on offer night, trying to threaten me into giving him a bunch of money now b...
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VickiR
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8
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1075
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Do I have the right to be angry?
(Preview)
This evening we had our 4th couples counselling and the first thing my husband said was that he relapsed on Monday. I'm not angry about that. I was just relieved I wasn't there. He hasn't told his mum, who he lives with, which I think he should but again that's up to him. What I am angry about is that the coun...
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Dutchy
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28
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654
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Al-Anon Meeting Starting now.
(Preview)
Saturday Morning Alanon Meeting 10 a.m. EST starting now. May 5 2018SATURDAY MORNING & EVENING AL-ANON MEETING 10AM & 9PM EST (7AM & 6PM PACIFIC)TOPICS: Verbal Abuse, Detaching from it. The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.h...
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Overcome
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2
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322
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Working the program
(Preview)
When I first arrived at the front door of Al-Anon in 1979 I had no idea what I was getting into even when knowing I didn't want to get into anything. I didn't know and didn't know I didn't know however so much was being brought to my attention and eventually my Higher Power removed my resistance to it. I...
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Jerry F
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12
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441
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Courage to Change 5/3/18
(Preview)
Good morning MIP! Today's reading discusses humility. The writer learned in recovery that humility is not measured by how much I do for others, but by willingness to do our part in our relationship with the God of our understanding. We begin to learn what humility is when we take the First Step. By a...
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Iamhere
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11
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492
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Powerlessness / what's within my power
(Preview)
Hi, MIP friends, I want to run by you the latest development in the ex-abf saga. I received an e-mail from him, sent from his grandfather's e-mail address, the contents similar to the previous messages - he's depressed, doesn't want to live anymore, nobody helps him, I'm bad as I do not reply to his plea...
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Aline
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22
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550
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Detox @home
(Preview)
My AH is a mess and I'm not sure what to do. He s decided to try to detox at home. He drinks 1/2 gallon a day and thinks he can just quit(I told him I think he needs an inpatient program). He didn't go cold turkey and has been drinking. However, he looks like death. He's pale, sweating, shaking, keeps falling a...
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Isthisreallife
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14
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495
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Courage to Change 5/4/18
(Preview)
The Courage reading is about finding ourselves through the Al-Anon program - especially Steps 4 and 5. Many of us arrive lost, neglected and just not too sure who we are. We'e been consumed with the A(s) and others in our life to the point we can share more about their likes/dislikes than our own. Th...
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Iamhere
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4
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338
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Checking out dating
(Preview)
I have not been on this site for a bit, but I have been reading on line and attending meetings. I decided to go out and meet a new man and see if I can get back on track with my life. I met a man 2 months ago and he seemed like a really great guy. To good to be true. My head started spinning as what he said and did appea...
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joker
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5
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461
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Literature rec
(Preview)
hi all, I have not posted here in a very long time, and am due for an update... soon! I do visit and read almost daily, and I thank you for all the wisdom, dedication and compassion displayed here on a daily/hourly basis! I have two friends who have both recently lost their husbands due to alcohol-related...
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oceanpine
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3
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331
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howdy
(Preview)
there are many problems with friends and families and alcohol in my life, both parents, a sibling, friends, etc; thus i am a member of alanon. . i have had decades long problems with the dogma of this program. i am an agnostic, (an atheist, really, in the sense that i believe in no deities), and this isn't...
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williamedward27
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12
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477
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Courage to Change May 2
(Preview)
Today's reading in courage to change is about accepting the help of HP and Al-Anon friends instead of stubbornly holding on to problems ourselves. The author shared that they sometimes are fixated on a problem, they cannot hear the guidance HP is sending their way. When they let go of their need to co...
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Skorpi
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4
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411
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What a week...
(Preview)
Saturday - ABF suicidal. I go pick him up. SUnday - "tapering" - 10 beers Monday - he gets sent home from work for "not functioning" - he'd taken diazapam Tuesday - call from his mum, police have been involved as he was suicidal, took out a lot of money and disappeared Wednesday - He's in hospital and his mu...
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MizzB
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8
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422
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Sponsorship
(Preview)
How long does it usually take to find a sponsor? I would like to start step work and to my understanding, you can't start without one. I've been doing F2F meetings and I try going to different ones to meet new people. So far I really haven't met anyone that I've clicked with or thought "this is the one." ...
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jess144
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6
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397
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A strange afternoon
(Preview)
For the first time in 4 weeks I took the girls to see my recovering husband at his mums where he is still staying. As soon as I got out of the car I saw something was wrong. He had either been drinking or he'd had a few seizures/absences. My mother confirmed that he was sober, hadn't been drinking but that he'...
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Dutchy
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18
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526
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ODAT Reading 5-1-2018
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for May first speaks about the Al-Anon and AA program being founded on a spiritual basis. The reading points out that both programs acknowledge our dependence on a power greater than ourselves and the thousands of Al-Anon and AA groups around the world have members of many faiths an...
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hotrod
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3
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350
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So why is it a problem for me now?
(Preview)
Ugh. It seems like no matter how many Alanon meetings I go to or what I read I don't know the answer. And this question is something my problem drinker husband questions when the issue comes up. Why does his drinking bother me now? And I know that others say it doesn't matter if it bothers me it bothers...
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Dancer66
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7
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404
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Step 5
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step five has been posted to the step work board please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwo...
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hotrod
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3
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614
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C2C, 4/30
(Preview)
Stubborness: The writer discussed letting his faucet drip and over time it did extensive damage. It forced him to get help. With Alanon he learned he can handle things differently. Sharing in meetings and putting experience into words, has allowed him to no longer push problems aside. He can n...
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Lyne
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6
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340
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Detachment, enabling or compassion.
(Preview)
Yes, another thread, : ) So, my A gets bad sinus infections about every 6 weeks. Do I need to tell an ICU nurse that alcohol is hurting her immune system? No, I don't think so. So anyway, she was sick on Thursday. I asked her if she needed some NyQuil. We didn't have any so I offered to go get some for her. On the...
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Dalbert
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6
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449
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Off-Topic - Joel Osteen - Remove the Grave Clothes
(Preview)
Part of my weekly routine includes watching Joel on Sunday mornings. It often speaks to me and this morning was pulling me in big time. While the title is kind of strange, this episode lines up really well with our recovery I believe.... A brief summary from the video: It's easy to judge others, but un...
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Iamhere
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4
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1705
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Hope for Today Apr 29
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about making amends. I can relate to the writers description of feeling that he/she were owed amends. The idea that we, who have lived life navigating the behavior of our As, should be the ones to make amends seemed backward somehow. In my great days of mart...
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yanksfan51
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4
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341
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I need to hear some success stories with AHs. I know its a struggle but I need hope and suggestions
(Preview)
I am SO thankful for this site and for all of you and your support. This disease is so horrible and takes such a toll on relationships and families. I could really use hearing some shares of survival or success. Living with a AH who is in denial is so hard. How do you manage when the other person is so con...
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Dancer66
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18
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965
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CTC 4-28-18
(Preview)
The C 2C reading for April 28 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. of understanding and supportive people. The reading suggests that we can join this group by uncovering the "Courage" to be honest about our inner thoughts and inner feelings. We are oft...
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lookingup
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10
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431
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We are not his priority
(Preview)
I felt so strong in the last weeks and as I read my thoughts about communication in couples counselling I just found myself crumbling. We ended last week on the fact that my and recovering husband don't communicate. It's quite clear that a lack of communication lies with my husband. I've always been a b...
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Dutchy
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32
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610
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Going crazy
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am going absolutely crazy today. I have been in a funk and crying all day. I feel like my ABF is upset with me because of this. He drank last night and although I think I handled last night well, I did not handle this morning or today well at all. I have that overwhelming fear again... that...
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Karebear
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7
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522
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First Meeting
(Preview)
So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting. The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I c...
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Dalbert
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14
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439
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Last couple of days have been a challenge
(Preview)
So Tuesday I had a meeting with the company that is handling my divorce. They helped me fill out their Final Work book for divorce. It was mostly about who gets what... we have very little, so it was super easy. Kid is almost 18, by the time the divorce is final, he probably will be 18! So that ended up being e...
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PosiesandPuppies
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13
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451
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The new job.
(Preview)
I started the new job yesterday. I would like to say thanks to all of you here who gave me encouragement. Now, looking back, I can't believe how smoothly everything has played out. Also, looking back at my Al-Anon experience I do feel like something has changed in me. Nothing big. But, something in my ou...
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WestMan
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8
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476
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Going to have a talk..not sure how to word things
(Preview)
Hey everyone. Itâs been a while since Iâve posted. Thatâs because things have been going moderately well. I just bought a house and my ABF and I moved back in together. This was a huge step because we hadnât lived together in almost 2 years. I had left because of his drinking. Our summer went well and he ha...
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madowl86
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4
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371
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Not sure what to do
(Preview)
Hello, I am in a situation and I am not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. My father has been an alcoholic most of my life, often times cheerful drinking with stories from the past, often repeated many times over. But he is also very Bipolar when intoxicated and can flip from happy and rem...
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SaddenedSon
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7
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636
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Courage to Change 4/27/18
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses self esteem and how it grows when we love and accept ourselves as we are. We block our own well-being each time we base our worth on what we do or what others think of me. Even IF we had some magical power that fixed all people, places and things in the world, we might still not fe...
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Iamhere
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2
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304
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I FINALLY did the right thing !
(Preview)
And I didn't let my "fixer" mentality instantly take over and do something stupid. Over the years (for WAY too many years) I was really good at fixing my now 33 year old son's problems, many of them before he even realized that something was a problem - that's my picture next to "enabler" in the dictiona...
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texas yankee
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11
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477
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Courage to Change 4/26/18
(Preview)
Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...
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Iamhere
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4
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385
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Longest 45 minutes of my life
(Preview)
Ive had a call from ABFâs mum. I onow he was heading for a crisis and this appears to be it. Shes had the police involved as he mentioned suicide, drew put a lot of money and then disappeared. We know where he is now.
Now, i know enough to let the police and the doctors do their job. He is seeing the consequen...
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MizzB
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21
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472
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Business meeting Sunday at 6PM all invited
(Preview)
IP Funding Meeting--Sunday, 6:PM--All Members InvitedPermalink Reply Quote More We are holding our second meeting on this subject tomorrow, Sunday at 6:00 PM in the Alanon Chat room. The meeting should take about 30 minutes. We have to decide how we will fund Miracles In Progress website and f...
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hotrod
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14
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1048
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4/25/2018 ODAT
(Preview)
This mornings reading brought a smile to my heart and face because of the reminders of what it was like when I first really got into the program and HP removed all my distractions from finding the first step in the journey. It is so nicely and well written on this page and I remember what it first taught...
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Jerry F
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2
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402
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Sandy doesn't drink anymore
(Preview)
My friend Sandy doesn't drink anymore. He died. They say he had a heart attack and that may very well be the cause of death. He was a big guy and I once heard him say he had high blood pressure so maybe he did have a heart attack. I remember when my sister died of a drug overdose 30 years ago they said cause of dea...
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Wolfie55
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9
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453
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Courage to Change April 25
(Preview)
Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about connections between meetings. The author shares that making Al-Anon telephone calls can seem scary at first, but that these calls can act as a lifeline between meetings. Reviewing Al-Anon "basics" is as beneficial to the longtime member a...
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Skorpi
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5
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517
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Do I really need a sponsor?
(Preview)
Hi, I have been attending meetings for about 8 months now: I want to work the steps, but have not been able to find a sponsor. I keep asking around and keep getting shot down. I just attended a new meeting for the first time last night; asked someone and he said the same thing they always do Keep going to...
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Hamarr
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9
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497
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ODAT Reading 4-24-18
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for April 24 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. The reading suggests that this bright new world can be developed by picking up the Al-Anon tools such as a sponsor,. meetings, the steps and letting go of our old negative tools such as fear, bi...
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hotrod
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4
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411
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A little hope, perhaps?
(Preview)
Son is in rehab, 3-6 month program. He can't call us, we have a restraining order, but he did call another family member. Family member let me know that he is safe, likes it there (!), and (finally) agrees that home is not the best place for him. I toyed with the idea of going down to the courthouse and lift...
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themoonandthestars
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3
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295
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A Message to John
(Preview)
Aloha John. Part of my popping in this morning was to get a look at your picture and feel the strong gratitude I have been led to feel since coming here and being a part of what you started and directed long ago. Mahalo Nui loa...Thanks so much. The family you gathered and continue to build on remains a...
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Jerry F
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4
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428
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How to now when you've had enough and what to do?
(Preview)
I know I am still far away from this decision, although at times my emotions tell me to leave, kick him out for my sake and the kids. But he is the financial guy in the family. The idea of starting over is scary, so am I one of those that just stays in it? So I need to know from those of you who did decide to leave...
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Dancer66
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7
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1293
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Why?
(Preview)
I am 61 years old. I have been exposed to recovery programs, well educated, pretty successful career, etc. Why is it that I sit here on the verge of tears thinking about of the brutality and violence of my childhood? My immediate family relations have never been authentic. How could they be with such de...
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ginnyc
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9
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397
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my personal progress
(Preview)
Hi, I'm going to do a little self indulgent post here and reflect on the progress I have made in AlAnon. I came here broken, scared, constantly anxious. Fed up, resentful, angry. I still feel those things at times but the time I spend being ok is bigger than the time I spend in difficulties which is progr...
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MizzB
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18
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503
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C2C, 4/23
(Preview)
Unable to feel: The writer talked about her inability to feel, about anything , and likened it to being dead. She said living with alcoholism caused her to deny every hint of anger, joy, or sorrow. As she began to recover, she began to feel, and found it very confusing at first. She even thought she w...
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Lyne
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7
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406
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Why it's good to be a bumble bee ..
(Preview)
So big laugh from me about my oldest .. I am honestly so proud of him at this point and that kid is so much braver than I am it's not even funny ... ironically the child doesn't know it and I get that too. I have mentioned what it means to be a bumble bee .. you do because you just don't have any other frame of refe...
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SerenityRUS
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7
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443
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Resentments out the wazoo!
(Preview)
So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...
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andromeda
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12
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631
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Apr 22 Hope for Today
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...
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yanksfan51
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3
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383
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sponsor
(Preview)
Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...
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ling
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5
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367
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I wasn't going to...
(Preview)
Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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330
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AA Daily Reflections? WTF
(Preview)
19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...
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Donehurting
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15
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1422
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Odat 4/21/18
(Preview)
The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...
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lookingup
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5
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322
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Hides Liquor and Lies about it
(Preview)
Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...
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CarrieS
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15
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539
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Playing Cat and Mouse
(Preview)
Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...
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Witchfinder
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14
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571
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Courage to Change 4/20/18
(Preview)
Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...
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Iamhere
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2
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515
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