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Good morning everyone! I just have a question I was hoping to get feedback on. When can someone become a sponsor? Do you need to have finished all your steps before accepting to be someone's else's sponsor?
The recommendation for sponsorship is attending meetings regularly, having your own sponsor and yes .. working the steps once through helps a great deal.
I know people who have done 1 - 4 and they do the beginning sponsorship however don't feel comfortable with continuing to sponsor past the steps they have worked.
Hope that helps,
S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thank you that does help a lot. I have a sponsee who's working step 5 now with me who was asked by a man to be his sponsor. She wanted my opinion first. I told her that I'd personally preferred if she had completed the steps, but as long as she continued to follow thru and that it didn't interfere with her own recovery that I thought it'd be ok.
Now for my next question..... Should a woman sponsor a man and/or vice versa? I know there is a big difference in the amount of men compared to women in the rooms, and it also can be very hard for someone to even take the step to ask. So you hate to say "no"?? Opinions?
My reply was that she could possibly tell him she'd be his "temporary" sponsor until he found a man that he could feel comfortable asking.....
Hello Zara if you think that your sponsee has embraced the principles of the program and can impart this to another then I believe she is ready As for a female sponsoring a male I know that years ago One of my first sponsees was a male because there were no males in the meetings. We established workable guidelines and established a temporary sponsorship agreement and when he could he found a male sponsor. i still see him in meetings after 30 years and it is inspiring.
I share Betty's experience regarding who should I sponsor. When I got into Al-Anon in 1979 there were only 2 other men in our program in our area and the guideline was "Men on men, women on women" and I hadn't met the other two guys then...Eventually I broke that guideline and asked a woman to sponsor me which ended with me being fired as a sponsee because of male characteristics coming into play. As a great sponsor she referred me over to a very experienced male member she knew of and the rest is grand history. This was a male who wasn't in the forelight of the program however knew "How it works". He has since passed on physically yet lives still within me mentally and spiritually. I still select male sponsorship because of the many "male" characteristics men naturally share and that makes the journey much simpler for me. I have sponsored females in recovery with special guidelines and never passed the 4th step. Great post. (((hugs))) keep coming back.
