The material presented
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Greetings MIP family..... I am reminded daily that I am a work-in-progress, and life, although much better than before, continues to offer up its challenges. I am a long time member of MIP, who had a bit of a falling out with John a few years back, so I chose to stop participating/posting on here anymore. With John's passing, this whole disagreement seemed pretty trivial in the big picture, and - like most resentments, it was only really hurting ME, as I missed the spiritual recovery and growth that comes with the great folks at MIP.
A brief update on my world, as it has been a few years since I was a regular on this board....
I was married to an alcoholic, and that marriage ended in 2003, and I am pleased to say that my ex is currently 18 years sober, and takes her sobriety very seriously - which is a wonderful story indeed. My two kids are now grown and doing well in university, and have excellent balance and their priorities in order, which gives me so much pride and pleasure.
For me, I feel like I have slipped a bit, as I don't have alcoholism/addiction in my daily life anymore, but kind of feeling a bit "lost" without my recovery tools / program that once played such an important part of my life. I tend to be fairly goal-centered in my approach to work & life, so 2017 was a phenomenal year for me - spiritually speaking - as I was able to help out a very dear family member (my sister-in-law), with a donation of a kidney. She was born with polycystic kidney disease and her kidneys were down to around 12% function, and facing the prospect of dialysis. Several of us went through the screening for becoming a donor, and it turned out that I was the best suited in terms of kidney function, so on March 28 of last year, I underwent surgery and donated my kidney to her. Everything went well for both of us, and very pleased to report that her health continues to be very good, and her energy levels have returned to where they should be. She has to take a multitude of anti-rejection drugs for the rest of her life, but it is a far better life for her than she was facing re: dialysis. That whole event, which was almost two full years in the planning and preparation - was my singular focus, and included my need to get in, and stay in decent physical health, as my BP had been a bit too high, so I lost a bunch of weight, and was going to the gym (without fail) 5 or more times per week. Since my surgery - over a year now - I have really struggled to get back into the gym on a regular basis, and my weight is slowly going up again, and it affects my self-image, etc..... round and round it goes.....
Fast forward to today, and it seems like the struggles are back.... my life lacks focus, and I think I am searching a bit for what is next.... I have struggled to find any kind of permanent romantic relationship, and that is definitely a source of frustration. I think I need to get some balance back in my own (spiritual) world, and one of the ways that may help will be re-engaging myself here at MIP. I suppose my predicament is somewhat predictable, as I used to practice the steps, do my daily readings, attend Al-Anon meetings, and post here on MIP. Today, I am not doing any of these four things, so this is my initial move towards addressing.....
I look forward to reconnecting with the oldtimers, and getting to know the newcomers. (also updated my pic to a 2018 version - no longer quite that young, non-grey haired fellow!)
Take care,
Tom
-- Edited by canadianguy on Monday 7th of May 2018 12:05:11 PM
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Since the loss of my son I've become more and more sad with my life and where it's going. I go to work, eat and sleep and that's about it. I was to retire this year but I'm glad I didn't because then I think it would be worse.
I was thinking about meetings just to get me going again but the motivation is not there. I bring myself down and I know it's just going to get worse if I don't do something.
Take care HUGS
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
((Tom))) Still very handsome indeed I am glad that you have decided to rejoin the family. You are indeed a true gift to this Board and to your family Welcome home
-- Edited by hotrod on Monday 7th of May 2018 12:57:11 PM
Tom i am enjoying watching your return to the program and this family....Yay for Tom...Yay for us!! I hope your memory serves you as mine does me which always shines the light of ESH on my spirit. You have always been and always are in that memory walking around and spreading smiles. Keep coming back with your HP. ((((hugs))))
Tom, it is nice to meet you. I look forward to hearing more from you on this journey.
Cathy, my thoughts are with you. I hope you will be able to get to a meeting. I have often not felt like going out to a meeting, but am always glad I did. When I felt burdened, my burden always became lighter.
Tom I've missed you here. Your esh really helped me when I was new. It's good to see Cathy here too. I do believe that when we've been affected by alcoholism we only get recovery when we work recovery. It does make sense to me that the old thinking patterns and negativity will resurface. So glad your both back and was nice to see pinkchip too. For me i would love to see a few others back too. Maybe you will inspire them x
Tom - welcome back. Speaking from experience, it is the way the disease works in my spirit that tells me, "I am better and have less need, so I'll do ...... instead." What you describe matches me too - the cycle of isolation followed by lack of initiative for me and my needs. I applaud your effort to kick-start your life with a renewed start in recovery. Each time I've stepped away, and realized my predicament, it is the B2B - Back to Basics that has gotten me to the center - my preferred place to be...
I'd love to say that I'm all grown-up now and this won't happen again - just don't know what tomorrow brings. What I do know is that when I just do recovery each day - big/small parts - it really helps me realize how critical recovery is to/for me and my spirit.
I am humbled by the gift you gave to your S-I-L - that's fantastic! Keep doing you and you'll be 'back in the middle of the boat soon'...
Cathy - I have missed you and really am glad to see you back @ MIP...I hold you and your son in my heart daily and am sending you some positive thoughts and prayers. You've really been missed!
(((Hugs))) to the MIP family!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Welcome back Tom and Cathy. Tom, I am in awe of your gift to your sister in law, truly wonderful. I am glad you have decided to give yourself the gift of getting back to the basics to find your self again. Cathy, you helped me in the early days when I crawled in here trying to cope with my AD. I remember you had a strong program and were direct, and concise and I was able to truly hear your ESH. It is truly amazing to me when oldtimers re-appear here, people whom I have never met, yet it feels like long lost family have arrived.
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
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