Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fedora · Fedora

Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...

A nother · A nother

My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...

growing · growing

Hi all. I've been working my fourth step in Blueprints for Progress. On p. 16 under Self-Worth: My Own Standards, the question asks, What are my limitations and do I accept them? What is meant by limitations in this case? What is your interpretation? I was thinking character defects such as being i...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about becoming aware of what motivates our choices. The author shares that they were appalled that fear motivated their choices and ruled their life! The author shares that many Alanon friends used the second step to combat fear. The author also s...

A nother · A nother

Hi, so I am struggling with this one and could do with your experience. Prior to all my rubbish with ah, we would usually share a bottle of wine on a Friday night (normally the only time I drink). Since I came home from my awful holiday I haven't had a drink at all because I haven't wanted to. My husband has b...

JerryF · JerryF

For me that doesn't work anymore and I'll tell you why. When I got into Al-Anon there was me with my stinking thinking attitude and major EGO smart ass attitude and my loud commanding act out and plain old "dumb as a stick" presence. I didn't know and didn't know anything; not even the basics or anyt...

Aloha · Aloha

If you find yourself with the time, a friend in the program's daughter is in critical condition in the hospital with a head injury - sounding like it could have been a fall or domestic violence where alcohol was involved. Her daughter's name is Sairee. Thank you so much.

Lyne · Lyne

Self-acceptance: The writer talks about their change from black and white thinking, to realizing that they don't have to do better or differently and they are not necessarily wrong! They are learning that their best is good enough, and they do not have to struggle to constantly fix themself. Toda...

hotrod · hotrod

Transition To New MIP Admin/Webmaster - Reply OnlyThis subforum is for the discussion and consideration of the service position of admin/webmaster. All interested MIP members may participate in the discussions. Please check the posting from Tanin at this new Board. Please see the thread...

Anon111 · Anon111

Hi all, I have dipped in and out of this forum, and read more posts than I've written myself, but am struggling to come to terms with past events that my AH has put me through. To give some background, I have 2 children (now 4 and 2) and from about the time of my first son's birth, my husband's stress levels s...

WestMan · WestMan

The onslaught continues and I keep reminding myself that my attitude makes the difference in how I feel throughout this period, how well I learn from it and how I impact those around me. But boy-oh-boy does it just seem like are the stressors just piling up. Just as a sample my father and my ExAW's brothe...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for August 18 speaks about ourr tendency to review the past and remember the worst possible things that someone has done. We do this so we can polish our own halos in this process. That sentence made me smile as I can readily identify with" polishing my Halo" The reading suggest...

RachelsMom · RachelsMom

Well, I got my daughter out of the dangerous inner city/hood location where she was homeless so I guess that is the only good part to this update. I got her an Airbnb for the night before she could take the train out of town. The Airbnb agreed to a third party reservation but BOY were they mad after daughter...

JerryF · JerryF

Picked my Al-Anon wife up at the airport last evening. She had been gone for 3 months and left me to the care of our MIP family and the rest of life as life is. I not only missed her looks and missed the sound of her voice and her mannerisms which caused me to smile and say "Sheeeees back" as parts of who she i...

mamalioness · mamalioness

my brother "R" called me....WHAT a story he had for me!!! He is a marine engineer and goes out on these big boats doing sea trials, etc., testing out new radar, communication and other equipment he installs on them..Its nothing for NOAA to fly him out to their big weather boats to "fix something" Even t...

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, asking for feedback from group shares. I am having a crack at re-starting a group in my home town. I believe that I an a natural victim- of the disease- but I do not have to be a martyr. All I have to do is to give it my best shot. The city south of here has four meetings. The biggest one had 15 o...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I am going to a work reunion, seeing people I haven't seen in 30 yrs. Many folks are bringing their spouses. Because (so far) I have chosen to stay with a dry drunk, I didn't even invite her. Although she has good attributes and is not acting alcoholic all of the time, she is also passive aggressi...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I had a good laugh at myself today some things are FINALLY getting straightened out at work .. I realize I am not the easiest person all of the time however again .. I get super tired of BS and the older I get the less patience I have for it .. pretty much I call people out where I see it and ask if my perception...

Iamhere · Iamhere

The reading for tomorrow is about First things First, self care and choosing wisely. There does not seem to be enough time in a day during stressful times. We might be tempted to miss a meal, push ourselves to exhaustion and just generally ignore our basic needs. In reality, it's during these tryin...

A nother · A nother

He's gone to the pub again. I've been working so hard to get better at this, I fully accept that I am powerless over alcohol. I'm acting as if it's fine that he's gone to the pub on his own again, but I'm sooo anxious! I've written my diary, gone through the questions in step 1. But now he is on the grog again I'...

luv123 · luv123

We just recently went through a death of a close young loved one. I feel sad. This sadness is also bringing up some other losses and impending losses (went to visit my last living aunt yesterday and she has some major health issues and it is hard to see her looking so fragile---the fragility and uncertai...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author shares that, after living with the chaos of an alcoholic relationship, it can be hard to tell if something is a minor inconvenience or a major crisis. Asking "How important is it?" helps the author d...

uhohcheerio · uhohcheerio

My boyfriend had agreed to stop drinking around me. He did this and I appreciated it a lot. But I knew he was drinking when not around me. I didnt worry too much about that: I went to alanon and he respected my boundaries. But i think that his not drinking around me while not being ready to actually quit caus...

A nother · A nother

This was the subject of the meeting I went to yesterday. I haven't been focusing on one day at a time, but after listening to others in the group yesterday I think I get it. I get so angry about past ''wrongs", and so overwhelmed about what I have coming (selling the house, telling the children we are sepa...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for today, 8-14 speaks about the alcoholic finally hitting hiss bottom and reaching for recovery. This reading points out that in the beginning it is extremely important to embrace the fact that both partners in the marriage have been affected by this disease and need a program o...

Jozie · Jozie

I have been in this Program long enough to know that Swimming in Fear is Never a Good thing, but Here I am... Some Know the first 18 years of my life, I Grew up in a Small One Horse town in Eastern US, Well when you live in such a small area, your family grows ten fold by the Time you hit 18, I have a Friend that I hav...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I will make this short because I am in a lot of pain. I have been struggling w an autoimmune condition for years. It has been so difficult but I don't think I mentioned it on here. It makes it hard to live one day at a time. I have been hanging out trying to keep my sanity. I know there are many others who are in wo...

JerryF · JerryF

I thought I had posted about this over the years and then all of my prior post have been eliminated as if I never existed...what a wish heh? I use to work as a BHT, Behavioral Health Therapist in a Recovery Program that gave service to individual addicts and alcoholics and their families; group and on...

A nother · A nother

Ah is at the second wedding today. Whilst picking flowers in the garden my 7 year old paused and said, '' I hope daddy doesn't get drunk today, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does'. My heart stopped and there was a pause and then she said, ''but if he does I won't tell him off. He can't help it.' then she wan...

A nother · A nother

I know we've talked about this before but I'm still really struggling to be around ah. I can't think of a thing to say. I asked him how the wedding was, but as he told me I felt that familiar anger welling up inside. So far today we have talked at length about the weather, about the food shopping and about wha...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The past week has been beyond stressful with my oldest and OMGOSH I'm extremely over it. My oldest is being incredibly disrespectful and ignoring what I have asked which is DO NOT CALL ME ABOUT THIS AT WORK .. I have a job .. and if I don't have a job you will not have a place to live. This is not just about yo...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Hes on a biggie, this being over two weeks... I call and leave VM but now his cell is full and cannot take calls. so I just test him a "prayers rising" text and keep my distance with love I can't seem to get his enabling friends to back off and let him hit bottom..Each time this happens, he finally surfaces, ...

Lyne · Lyne

Leaning on HP-The author discusses the importance of Step 3: turning our will and life over to God's care. They learned that with good intentions, their suggestions for others may not be helpful. They also learned that fear may be an underlying factor. They realized that they don't always know w...

strangeworld · strangeworld

Hi all. Forgive my all over the place post here. I come here to read quite often but I admittedly don't get to many meetings. Husband got drunk at a party the other night and it was embarrassing for me. He gets loud and extemely animated - I think it is social anxiety mostly. Brief back story. I quit drink...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how the Al-Anon program is a way to learn and show respect for one another. The writer mentions that in his/her family of origin this wasnt taught, but once in Alanon, the protocols such as taking turns to share by speaking, thanking one another for speak...

JerryF · JerryF

am I ending up at a internet pharmacy when I click on to Miracles in Progress??? Is my Higher Power telling me I should try some new drug??? LOL I get parked at the Pharmacy while the address says Miracles in Progress. Anyone else getting this form of service? ((()))

lookingup · lookingup

As I'm taking baby steps toward moving into an apt,I still haven't made it official,I do know what I got to do. 1st things 1st right? ok I gave my bro several time frames in which to move out,not complying or cooperating, he has been very hard to live with still love him to pieces despite all this, he has pla...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Found this in my library....this was soooo me before recovery....ENjoy the laugh 12-steps of non-recovery ...1) We admitted we were powerless over nothing, that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us to.2) Came to believe there was no power greater than our...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author acknowledged the draw to let anger bloom at the thought of mistreatment from others. Detachment is not the easy choice, but it helps us avoid damaging ourselves and others.Runaway anger and frustration opens the door to our harming innocent members in our lives and can add to existin...

lookingup · lookingup

C2C reading for Saturday 8-11 speaks about periods of sadness that we all experience The reading points out that this is normal and a part of everyone's life but if we do not use our tools it can become a habit and we will have difficulty shedding the depression., Meetings, readings and talks with spo...

A nother · A nother

I know I need to stop obsessing. But i'm out at a friend's hen do tonight and he is home with the kids. I'm driving as it is quite a distance away (45 mins). He won't hurt the children, I suppose, but will probably put them to bed then start on the wine. I need a life, so I'm going. If he's drunk I will smile and...

Iwantthemiddle · Iwantthemiddle

This afternoon we are going to a family function. Iâm going with my AH and his mother and golden child sister are coming along. They gossip and just talk crap and really donât stop talking. Itâs always about people I donât know and I think why would I want to know? Iâm just struggling with setting boundar...

Freetime · Freetime

The writer shares how the way we keep our home shows the effects of living with alcoholism. One person cannot feel comfortable unless his house is perfectly tidy, which makes him feel in control. Another person lives with clutter, which allows her to isolate and keep people at a distance. The write...

ling · ling

Hi AH very ill. He pushed me so have restriction order not to live at home. He's in his tiny workshop. It's unsafe as workshop. Can an alcoholic give up as he says he's trying but too hard??? Is it that he can't or doesn't want to? I've taken him a duvet and pillow. I need a break. Do I feed him? Where's my resp...

Surfergirl · Surfergirl

I have family visiting for the week and tonight we are ordering dinner as a pre anniversary-post birthday celebration. My AH said he was going to join us but I didn't get my hopes up. About 20 minutes before we are preparing to order he messages and says "I'm not coming it's taking too long" which is code f...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, I just wanted to say that I was contacted by HR for to meet this week with them and my boss. I don't know if this is a follow up to my meeting with HR about how my job is going which included discussion of many hours being left to sit with no work to lack of promised training. There has also been load...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I worked today and had a run in with a co-worker, whom I usually get along nicely with....She got ugly with me and I "outed her" about it......I called her on it....I told her that her behaviour was NOT acceptable, rudeness and ugly are never acceptable..no matter what...insults and put downs I will N...

DavidG · DavidG

The price we pay for being with family is emotion... and my FOO did not learn to express emotion in healthy ways... I owe my life to my hometown group... and a life worth living- surely... ...I always maintained my balance in group- in the rooms- by doing my own personal shares. in my small town it was ha...

lookingup · lookingup

for those here that know of my apt moving, ive done all I know to do on my part,phone calls,talking to landlord,along with lots of prayers to my hp on the what when and how part to all this, this was becoming very overwhelming to me thoughts of going from a big house to small apt,ha, with hp help only can make...

Iwantthemiddle · Iwantthemiddle

Hi everyone. Iâm in need of some examples of boundary setting. Iâm really bad at it. Yesterday my mil made us dinner and dropped in to see me at work to give me morning tea. Nice right? However there is always an alterior motive. My husband never calls his Mum. I was never aware until recently that I contro...

A nother · A nother

Husband couldn't hide his enthusiasm for putting the new bed up, so we did it tonight. He is sober tonight. I think this is his way of showing me how relieved he is to be rid of his nagging wife! Painful. I feel so rejected, which makes no sense because I want out of this relationship too!

A nother · A nother

I know I'm posting loads on here, and that much of it isn't enlightened or helpful to others, but I honestly don't know where else to go to sort my feelings out. I can't sleep. I've tried and tried, but it just won't come. My husband went out to the pub tonight. No big traumas when he came home, which I am gr...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading in Courage to Change, the author reflects on step 6: Were entirely ready to have HP remove these defects of character. The author shares that they worried whether there would be anything left of themselves if they let go of the defects of character, but decided that the...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about applying the tools we are given in a way that is helpful to our situation. The writer explains that there was a job he/she was not happy with at all; day after day they did the job, relying on Just for Today to get through it. After some time the realizatio...

andromeda · andromeda

So, my Al Anon girlfriends and myself were talking last week about dating alcoholics. We had a speaker at one of our meetings who talked about how she always managed to find the alcoholics on a group of men. ALWAYS. After 2 marriages to practicing alcoholics with no recovery, she was 60 years old when...

DavidG · DavidG

I have this movie at home. I bought the DVD in the Wilson's own garage- at Stepping Stones. in NY state. Early on I read "Lois Remembers". I was always interested in how our hope evolved... and manifested itself... with love... foe many years I fancied Lois and Bill as my mum and dad. Bonded, rather than...

Mcgreuder · Mcgreuder

Permalink Hi guys! Im back again. Really trying to work on some boundaries and having trouble. Im at work today and husband is at home with kids. Husband was out drinking til 3:30, and twin 21 mo olds were up and playing since 6:30 am. He didnt go in there to change their diaper and waited til nanny came a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	replacing alcohol with depression? (Preview) Hi. I'm not sure if this is a question for this group, but I have no one to ask. I've moved and am no longer in touch with the AlAnon F2F group I had like before. I believe my spouse is in a major depressive episode. For weeks now (well it's been building up for awhile but now its acute) he cries every day, he ca...	Fedora	14	708	Aug 24, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 8/23/19 (Preview) The reading for tomorrow is about being imperfect, making mistakes and owning them. The writer had a tremendous fear of making mistakes, and went the extra mile to cover every possible outcome for fear of accusations and/or abuse from the A and self. This 'perfection' approach led to low self este...	Iamhere	6	459	Aug 23, 2018 by mamalioness
	Illogical expectations? (Preview) My ah and I talked last night. He was drinking again and I tried to be neutral and avoid the nastys. He explained to me that he thinks we have different expectations in this marriage when it comes to drinking. I have a low tolerance to his drunken behaviour and he has a higher tolerance of drunken behavio...	A nother	20	861	Aug 23, 2018 by Maresie
	Unemployment (Preview) Well things just get more interesting around here daily. My husband works at an arena and after his 3 week vacation he kept getting asked to take another week unpaid, 3 times to be exact. So he finally went back to work this week and not a moment too soon. That's when the electric company shut off their pow...	Surfergirl	14	551	Aug 23, 2018 by Surfergirl
	The Fear Has Past, but the Love Remains... UPDATE... (Preview) Hey Family, Just wanted to Give a Bit of an Update about my Friend I've been Worried about: His Surgery was last Thurs. and the Docs feel they have removed the Cancer, and they didn't find any in his Lymph's (Praise God) but we are still waiting on test results to say what else they may have found... Pra...	Jozie	8	556	Aug 23, 2018 by Jozie
	Blueprints for Progress - limitations (Preview) Hi all. I've been working my fourth step in Blueprints for Progress. On p. 16 under Self-Worth: My Own Standards, the question asks, What are my limitations and do I accept them? What is meant by limitations in this case? What is your interpretation? I was thinking character defects such as being i...	growing	7	641	Aug 22, 2018 by growing
	Courage to Change August 22 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in courage to change is about becoming aware of what motivates our choices. The author shares that they were appalled that fear motivated their choices and ruled their life! The author shares that many Alanon friends used the second step to combat fear. The author also s...	Skorpi	5	390	Aug 22, 2018 by Aline
	Drinking with someone with a drink problem?? (Preview) Hi, so I am struggling with this one and could do with your experience. Prior to all my rubbish with ah, we would usually share a bottle of wine on a Friday night (normally the only time I drink). Since I came home from my awful holiday I haven't had a drink at all because I haven't wanted to. My husband has b...	A nother	15	638	Aug 22, 2018 by sunmustshine
	Higher Power as a "He".... (Preview) For me that doesn't work anymore and I'll tell you why. When I got into Al-Anon there was me with my stinking thinking attitude and major EGO smart ass attitude and my loud commanding act out and plain old "dumb as a stick" presence. I didn't know and didn't know anything; not even the basics or anyt...	JerryF	17	921	Aug 21, 2018 by MeTwo2
	Prayers needed (Preview) If you find yourself with the time, a friend in the program's daughter is in critical condition in the hospital with a head injury - sounding like it could have been a fall or domestic violence where alcohol was involved. Her daughter's name is Sairee. Thank you so much.	Aloha	27	789	Aug 20, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	C2C, 8/20 (Preview) Self-acceptance: The writer talks about their change from black and white thinking, to realizing that they don't have to do better or differently and they are not necessarily wrong! They are learning that their best is good enough, and they do not have to struggle to constantly fix themself. Toda...	Lyne	4	500	Aug 20, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Please check out the new Board (Preview) Transition To New MIP Admin/Webmaster - Reply OnlyThis subforum is for the discussion and consideration of the service position of admin/webmaster. All interested MIP members may participate in the discussions. Please check the posting from Tanin at this new Board. Please see the thread...	hotrod	0	544	Aug 20, 2018 by hotrod
	Struggling to get over the trauma and fully forgive (Preview) Hi all, I have dipped in and out of this forum, and read more posts than I've written myself, but am struggling to come to terms with past events that my AH has put me through. To give some background, I have 2 children (now 4 and 2) and from about the time of my first son's birth, my husband's stress levels s...	Anon111	13	745	Aug 20, 2018 by milkwood
	I could sure use the prayers this next week. (Preview) The onslaught continues and I keep reminding myself that my attitude makes the difference in how I feel throughout this period, how well I learn from it and how I impact those around me. But boy-oh-boy does it just seem like are the stressors just piling up. Just as a sample my father and my ExAW's brothe...	WestMan	27	667	Aug 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	ODAT,,August 18. (Preview) The ODAT reading for August 18 speaks about ourr tendency to review the past and remember the worst possible things that someone has done. We do this so we can polish our own halos in this process. That sentence made me smile as I can readily identify with" polishing my Halo" The reading suggest...	lookingup	8	414	Aug 19, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Problem child update ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Well, I got my daughter out of the dangerous inner city/hood location where she was homeless so I guess that is the only good part to this update. I got her an Airbnb for the night before she could take the train out of town. The Airbnb agreed to a third party reservation but BOY were they mad after daughter...	RachelsMom	51	1853	Aug 18, 2018 by Aline
	Blessed....Just Blessed (Preview) Picked my Al-Anon wife up at the airport last evening. She had been gone for 3 months and left me to the care of our MIP family and the rest of life as life is. I not only missed her looks and missed the sound of her voice and her mannerisms which caused me to smile and say "Sheeeees back" as parts of who she i...	JerryF	12	590	Aug 18, 2018 by Aline
	well the older one is FOUND!!!!!! what a RELIEF!!!! (Preview) my brother "R" called me....WHAT a story he had for me!!! He is a marine engineer and goes out on these big boats doing sea trials, etc., testing out new radar, communication and other equipment he installs on them..Its nothing for NOAA to fly him out to their big weather boats to "fix something" Even t...	mamalioness	24	624	Aug 18, 2018 by mamalioness
	Giving Alanon my best shot... (Preview) Hi y'all, asking for feedback from group shares. I am having a crack at re-starting a group in my home town. I believe that I an a natural victim- of the disease- but I do not have to be a martyr. All I have to do is to give it my best shot. The city south of here has four meetings. The biggest one had 15 o...	DavidG	15	537	Aug 18, 2018 by DavidG
	Down side of staying with my A (Preview) Today I am going to a work reunion, seeing people I haven't seen in 30 yrs. Many folks are bringing their spouses. Because (so far) I have chosen to stay with a dry drunk, I didn't even invite her. Although she has good attributes and is not acting alcoholic all of the time, she is also passive aggressi...	Lyne	10	737	Aug 17, 2018 by el-cee
	Darkly Amusing .. (Preview) So I had a good laugh at myself today some things are FINALLY getting straightened out at work .. I realize I am not the easiest person all of the time however again .. I get super tired of BS and the older I get the less patience I have for it .. pretty much I call people out where I see it and ask if my perception...	SerenityRUS	2	599	Aug 16, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 8/16/19 (Preview) The reading for tomorrow is about First things First, self care and choosing wisely. There does not seem to be enough time in a day during stressful times. We might be tempted to miss a meal, push ourselves to exhaustion and just generally ignore our basic needs. In reality, it's during these tryin...	Iamhere	6	1065	Aug 16, 2018 by Iamhere
	Why am I going round in circles??! (Preview) He's gone to the pub again. I've been working so hard to get better at this, I fully accept that I am powerless over alcohol. I'm acting as if it's fine that he's gone to the pub on his own again, but I'm sooo anxious! I've written my diary, gone through the questions in step 1. But now he is on the grog again I'...	A nother	12	649	Aug 16, 2018 by lookingup
	On NOT fixing myself or others (Preview) We just recently went through a death of a close young loved one. I feel sad. This sadness is also bringing up some other losses and impending losses (went to visit my last living aunt yesterday and she has some major health issues and it is hard to see her looking so fragile---the fragility and uncertai...	luv123	6	506	Aug 16, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change August 15, 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author shares that, after living with the chaos of an alcoholic relationship, it can be hard to tell if something is a minor inconvenience or a major crisis. Asking "How important is it?" helps the author d...	Skorpi	5	545	Aug 15, 2018 by mamalioness
	He gets so angry and then gets drunk and tells me he loves me and is sorry (Preview) My boyfriend had agreed to stop drinking around me. He did this and I appreciated it a lot. But I knew he was drinking when not around me. I didnt worry too much about that: I went to alanon and he respected my boundaries. But i think that his not drinking around me while not being ready to actually quit caus...	uhohcheerio	12	578	Aug 14, 2018 by milkwood
	One day at a time (Preview) This was the subject of the meeting I went to yesterday. I haven't been focusing on one day at a time, but after listening to others in the group yesterday I think I get it. I get so angry about past ''wrongs", and so overwhelmed about what I have coming (selling the house, telling the children we are sepa...	A nother	8	594	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	ODAT reading 8-14 (Preview) The ODAT reading for today, 8-14 speaks about the alcoholic finally hitting hiss bottom and reaching for recovery. This reading points out that in the beginning it is extremely important to embrace the fact that both partners in the marriage have been affected by this disease and need a program o...	hotrod	8	564	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	Stuck in Fear... Of that I Can't Control... (Preview) I have been in this Program long enough to know that Swimming in Fear is Never a Good thing, but Here I am... Some Know the first 18 years of my life, I Grew up in a Small One Horse town in Eastern US, Well when you live in such a small area, your family grows ten fold by the Time you hit 18, I have a Friend that I hav...	Jozie	15	734	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	in a lot of pain... (Preview) I will make this short because I am in a lot of pain. I have been struggling w an autoimmune condition for years. It has been so difficult but I don't think I mentioned it on here. It makes it hard to live one day at a time. I have been hanging out trying to keep my sanity. I know there are many others who are in wo...	Hoot Nanny	3	411	Aug 14, 2018 by WestMan
	Behavioral Health Counseling (Preview) I thought I had posted about this over the years and then all of my prior post have been eliminated as if I never existed...what a wish heh? I use to work as a BHT, Behavioral Health Therapist in a Recovery Program that gave service to individual addicts and alcoholics and their families; group and on...	JerryF	30	792	Aug 14, 2018 by mamalioness
	My 7 year old has more insight than me! (Preview) Ah is at the second wedding today. Whilst picking flowers in the garden my 7 year old paused and said, '' I hope daddy doesn't get drunk today, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does'. My heart stopped and there was a pause and then she said, ''but if he does I won't tell him off. He can't help it.' then she wan...	A nother	11	558	Aug 13, 2018 by Bo
	Living in silence is killing me! (Preview) I know we've talked about this before but I'm still really struggling to be around ah. I can't think of a thing to say. I asked him how the wedding was, but as he told me I felt that familiar anger welling up inside. So far today we have talked at length about the weather, about the food shopping and about wha...	A nother	14	637	Aug 13, 2018 by Bo
	Boundaries being ignored .. (Preview) The past week has been beyond stressful with my oldest and OMGOSH I'm extremely over it. My oldest is being incredibly disrespectful and ignoring what I have asked which is DO NOT CALL ME ABOUT THIS AT WORK .. I have a job .. and if I don't have a job you will not have a place to live. This is not just about yo...	SerenityRUS	15	676	Aug 13, 2018 by serenity47
	BOTH of my Brothers are missing for over 2 weeks now (Preview) Hes on a biggie, this being over two weeks... I call and leave VM but now his cell is full and cannot take calls. so I just test him a "prayers rising" text and keep my distance with love I can't seem to get his enabling friends to back off and let him hit bottom..Each time this happens, he finally surfaces, ...	mamalioness	19	666	Aug 13, 2018 by mamalioness
	C2C, 8/12 (Preview) Leaning on HP-The author discusses the importance of Step 3: turning our will and life over to God's care. They learned that with good intentions, their suggestions for others may not be helpful. They also learned that fear may be an underlying factor. They realized that they don't always know w...	Lyne	3	365	Aug 13, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	Feel Betrayed - Anxiety and sadness through the roof right now (Preview) Hi all. Forgive my all over the place post here. I come here to read quite often but I admittedly don't get to many meetings. Husband got drunk at a party the other night and it was embarrassing for me. He gets loud and extemely animated - I think it is social anxiety mostly. Brief back story. I quit drink...	strangeworld	12	594	Aug 13, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 12 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how the Al-Anon program is a way to learn and show respect for one another. The writer mentions that in his/her family of origin this wasnt taught, but once in Alanon, the protocols such as taking turns to share by speaking, thanking one another for speak...	yanksfan51	6	503	Aug 12, 2018 by mamalioness
	Why ?? (Preview) am I ending up at a internet pharmacy when I click on to Miracles in Progress??? Is my Higher Power telling me I should try some new drug??? LOL I get parked at the Pharmacy while the address says Miracles in Progress. Anyone else getting this form of service? ((()))	JerryF	3	401	Aug 12, 2018 by JerryF
	Roller coaster ride. (Preview) As I'm taking baby steps toward moving into an apt,I still haven't made it official,I do know what I got to do. 1st things 1st right? ok I gave my bro several time frames in which to move out,not complying or cooperating, he has been very hard to live with still love him to pieces despite all this, he has pla...	lookingup	10	529	Aug 11, 2018 by lookingup
	my 12 steps b4 recovery (Preview) Found this in my library....this was soooo me before recovery....ENjoy the laugh 12-steps of non-recovery ...1) We admitted we were powerless over nothing, that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone else who would allow us to.2) Came to believe there was no power greater than our...	mamalioness	8	539	Aug 11, 2018 by Aline
	ODAT 8/9/18 Anger, Detachment (Preview) Today's author acknowledged the draw to let anger bloom at the thought of mistreatment from others. Detachment is not the easy choice, but it helps us avoid damaging ourselves and others.Runaway anger and frustration opens the door to our harming innocent members in our lives and can add to existin...	Enigmatic	10	625	Aug 11, 2018 by Freetime
	CTC 08/11 (Preview) C2C reading for Saturday 8-11 speaks about periods of sadness that we all experience The reading points out that this is normal and a part of everyone's life but if we do not use our tools it can become a habit and we will have difficulty shedding the depression., Meetings, readings and talks with spo...	lookingup	3	378	Aug 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	I'm out tonight. Anxious about what state he will be in when I get home (Preview) I know I need to stop obsessing. But i'm out at a friend's hen do tonight and he is home with the kids. I'm driving as it is quite a distance away (45 mins). He won't hurt the children, I suppose, but will probably put them to bed then start on the wine. I need a life, so I'm going. If he's drunk I will smile and...	A nother	8	538	Aug 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	Anxious :( (Preview) This afternoon we are going to a family function. Iâm going with my AH and his mother and golden child sister are coming along. They gossip and just talk crap and really donât stop talking. Itâs always about people I donât know and I think why would I want to know? Iâm just struggling with setting boundar...	Iwantthemiddle	5	584	Aug 11, 2018 by lookingup
	Courage to Change 8/10 (Preview) The writer shares how the way we keep our home shows the effects of living with alcoholism. One person cannot feel comfortable unless his house is perfectly tidy, which makes him feel in control. Another person lives with clutter, which allows her to isolate and keep people at a distance. The write...	Freetime	4	605	Aug 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	AH very ill (Preview) Hi AH very ill. He pushed me so have restriction order not to live at home. He's in his tiny workshop. It's unsafe as workshop. Can an alcoholic give up as he says he's trying but too hard??? Is it that he can't or doesn't want to? I've taken him a duvet and pillow. I need a break. Do I feed him? Where's my resp...	ling	5	574	Aug 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Frustrated (Preview) I have family visiting for the week and tonight we are ordering dinner as a pre anniversary-post birthday celebration. My AH said he was going to join us but I didn't get my hopes up. About 20 minutes before we are preparing to order he messages and says "I'm not coming it's taking too long" which is code f...	Surfergirl	27	757	Aug 10, 2018 by Bo
	Meeting with HR ( 1 2 ) (closed) (Preview) Hi Everyone, I just wanted to say that I was contacted by HR for to meet this week with them and my boss. I don't know if this is a follow up to my meeting with HR about how my job is going which included discussion of many hours being left to sit with no work to lack of promised training. There has also been load...	tiredtonite	51	3539	Aug 10, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	We really do teach others how to treat us (Preview) I worked today and had a run in with a co-worker, whom I usually get along nicely with....She got ugly with me and I "outed her" about it......I called her on it....I told her that her behaviour was NOT acceptable, rudeness and ugly are never acceptable..no matter what...insults and put downs I will N...	mamalioness	18	700	Aug 10, 2018 by mamalioness
	Boiled up with anger over old things... (Preview) The price we pay for being with family is emotion... and my FOO did not learn to express emotion in healthy ways... I owe my life to my hometown group... and a life worth living- surely... ...I always maintained my balance in group- in the rooms- by doing my own personal shares. in my small town it was ha...	DavidG	17	681	Aug 10, 2018 by Aline
	Update (Preview) for those here that know of my apt moving, ive done all I know to do on my part,phone calls,talking to landlord,along with lots of prayers to my hp on the what when and how part to all this, this was becoming very overwhelming to me thoughts of going from a big house to small apt,ha, with hp help only can make...	lookingup	10	569	Aug 9, 2018 by lookingup
	Mother in law detachment and boundaries (Preview) Hi everyone. Iâm in need of some examples of boundary setting. Iâm really bad at it. Yesterday my mil made us dinner and dropped in to see me at work to give me morning tea. Nice right? However there is always an alterior motive. My husband never calls his Mum. I was never aware until recently that I contro...	Iwantthemiddle	3	658	Aug 9, 2018 by Bo
	The new bed is up, the mattress arrives tomorrow. (Preview) Husband couldn't hide his enthusiasm for putting the new bed up, so we did it tonight. He is sober tonight. I think this is his way of showing me how relieved he is to be rid of his nagging wife! Painful. I feel so rejected, which makes no sense because I want out of this relationship too!	A nother	3	579	Aug 9, 2018 by Bo
	I'm having another sleepless night (Preview) I know I'm posting loads on here, and that much of it isn't enlightened or helpful to others, but I honestly don't know where else to go to sort my feelings out. I can't sleep. I've tried and tried, but it just won't come. My husband went out to the pub tonight. No big traumas when he came home, which I am gr...	A nother	10	699	Aug 9, 2018 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change August 8 2018 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading in Courage to Change, the author reflects on step 6: Were entirely ready to have HP remove these defects of character. The author shares that they worried whether there would be anything left of themselves if they let go of the defects of character, but decided that the...	Skorpi	3	695	Aug 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about applying the tools we are given in a way that is helpful to our situation. The writer explains that there was a job he/she was not happy with at all; day after day they did the job, relying on Just for Today to get through it. After some time the realizatio...	yanksfan51	7	632	Aug 8, 2018 by A nother
	Would you date an alcoholic who has a recovery program? (Preview) So, my Al Anon girlfriends and myself were talking last week about dating alcoholics. We had a speaker at one of our meetings who talked about how she always managed to find the alcoholics on a group of men. ALWAYS. After 2 marriages to practicing alcoholics with no recovery, she was 60 years old when...	andromeda	18	761	Aug 8, 2018 by Green Eyes
	Our founders... (Preview) I have this movie at home. I bought the DVD in the Wilson's own garage- at Stepping Stones. in NY state. Early on I read "Lois Remembers". I was always interested in how our hope evolved... and manifested itself... with love... foe many years I fancied Lois and Bill as my mum and dad. Bonded, rather than...	DavidG	3	578	Aug 8, 2018 by DavidG
	What boundary do I set for my husband? (Preview) Permalink Hi guys! Im back again. Really trying to work on some boundaries and having trouble. Im at work today and husband is at home with kids. Husband was out drinking til 3:30, and twin 21 mo olds were up and playing since 6:30 am. He didnt go in there to change their diaper and waited til nanny came a...	Mcgreuder	6	619	Aug 7, 2018 by Bo
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.