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I don't like pain.
(Preview)
I think my HP has been very very gentle and patient with me allowing me to acknowledge that truth to myself. I don't like pain, I'm scared of it and it hurts. I bought myself a $35 bottle of Marlborough Savigngon a few days ago, knowing full well it was an attempt to deny what I was doing. (A fuctioning succ...
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a4l
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15
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2687
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it feels so good when I'm honest.
(Preview)
The other day I Facebook messaged (bad idea to begin with, lol!) a very old friend to tell her I was really enjoying seeing pictures she posts of her new kitten. I told her I was thinking of getting one myself, because I have been. She never responded. I looked the next day and she had read my message. I a...
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anewdayeveryday
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3
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1085
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11/3/20 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's Courage to Change page notes the value of coming to AlAnon and being heard after perhaps feeling trapped, desperate, and isolated. A healthy balance eventually emerges when our shares do not dominate meeting time or dive into deeply personal matters. The Traditions suggest that the wellb...
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Enigmatic
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4
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346
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Feeling Terrified
(Preview)
I feel overwhelming fear. It's choking me. Traditionally in relationships, the fear gets me and I run back to what hurts MD because it's familiar. But now today I can't do it even if I want to because I literally can't. I don't know why but it's like every part of my being goes, dead end ahead, dead end ahea...
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a4l
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16
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1686
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How important is it?
(Preview)
Compared to more important things I have realized things are not as important as sometimes they seem. The fact that I am alive & fairly healthy is far more important than petty things like which way the toilet paper should go or where something has to go. Mind you I believe that everything has a plac...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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353
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My recovery process
(Preview)
I am struggling this morning. Sleep is minimal. I have been here before. It feels uncomfortable but I do have choices. My Mom dying has greatly effected me if course but now it comes down to me & working the program. I will trust in my Higher Power to help me through this but I have to do the footwork. I k...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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1462
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Saturday Share....
(Preview)
We have a new member here... in my first group- if we had a new members, or members, we would do a Step One meeting. Basically where everyone could share their ESH- as it was on that day... ...I use social media a lot. I embraced facebook. Our community had doubled in size over the last four years. A...
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DavidG
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6
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1600
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Courage to Change October 28
(Preview)
In today's reading, the author reflects on how their attitude toward others tends to return to them. If the author is impatient with others, they find they are even less patient with themselves and the world. If they are unkind to someone, defensiveness follows as the author expects others to be unki...
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Skorpi
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5
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595
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One of my recovery girls OD'd yesterday
(Preview)
She was four years sober and attended our recovery groups at the church for quite some time...Live at the recovery center here in town and b4 Covid hit she had JUST gotten her new flat and was so excited to not have to live with mom anymore... yesterday, she OD'd and left behind 4 babies, all under 6 years o...
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mamalioness
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9
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2084
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10/27/20 ODAT Rome Was Not Built in a Day
(Preview)
Today's page from One Day at a Time in AlAnon draws inspiration from the slogan Easy Does It: We can not, nor should not, try to work on too many recovery concepts at once lest we become overwhelmed and discouraged.We are encouraged to take a single AlAnon recovery concept we read or hear, meditate on it...
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Enigmatic
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4
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1100
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Easier softer way
(Preview)
In the preamble to AA the sentence is #many of us tried to find an easier softer way# Most certainly many of my relationships with alcoholics were about trying to find an easier softer way. I pursued the whole notion of this vision of an easier softer way even when the relationship with the alcoholic w...
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Maresie888
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2
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1098
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C2C, 10/26
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 10/26, reflects upon others criticism and unkind words which would cripple them for days. It did not occur to the writer that this was abuse and could even be untrue. They felt shame and suffered low self-esteem. And at times, the writer would respond in kind, hurting other...
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Lyne
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2
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1122
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Grief/Letting up painful feelings
(Preview)
Hi family. I'm new here. Have been carrying around 55 lbs of inflammation on my body for over year. It started in my stomach (gut). I believe I am very sensitive to what some call "narcissistic" abuse. I get inflamed when I've been exposed to too much of it. I looked up the word "inflamed" and it said "an...
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anewdayeveryday
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17
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2142
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Hope for Today Oct 25
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone; Todays reading begins with the reaction we have when something surprises us: Wow! The writer describes this as a response to the beauty of a brand new day. What strikes the writer is the understanding that the blue sky, fall foliage and beauty of the day was not because of any...
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yanksfan51
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2
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1293
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COURAGE TO CHANGE 10/24
(Preview)
"The process of recovery in Al-Anon has been likened to peeling an onion. We peel away a layer at a time, often shedding a few tears as we do. But recovery always makes me think of the bark of a birch tree. The birch's bark is necessary for protection, yet as the tree grows, the bark peels away gradually on...
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PosiesandPuppies
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4
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330
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worse week so far...
(Preview)
This is the worst week so far since my mom's passing & a week after the memorial service. As some of you know that I am grieving in all kinds of ways. There is no way exactly to grieve as I am told. Now I feel like an orphan. I feel lost & lonely w/o my parents but I have been OK. A few bouts w/long periods...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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1009
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Newbie
(Preview)
Hello Everyone Thank you for this forum. I am new here, new to Al Anon and newly married and new to Some devastating new things I discovered about my husband recently. I've no one to talk to, and it's probably wiser. I'm not sure how this forum works or if my registration details are anonymous but I thou...
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MrsS
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13
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3235
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Each one of us is precious.
(Preview)
I think that this is a part of my Step 12. I wrote this this morning as a part of a facebook forum: Growing up in New Zealand. The producer of the short movie below- is clearly an adult child in his work. This year he actually picked up an Oscar in America!. You really don't grow up- in a situation like th...
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DavidG
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1
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1684
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Hope for Today, October 23
(Preview)
The October 23 reading in Hope for Today is about "God as we understood Him." The author started out with a restrictive, one-true-religion and a judging God that was all about punishment. Coming to Al-Anon showed a whole new vision. People with differing beliefs were friendly to one another and di...
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Freetime
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5
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1578
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C2C - 10/21
(Preview)
Posting early as I am headed to golf in the morning. The reminder: In an alcoholic environment, I had good reasons to hide my feelings, making light of serious situations, overworking, overplaying, managing to focus on everything but myself. Today I have other options. I can begin to listen to...
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Iamhere
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5
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1581
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Another Alanon share...
(Preview)
I am looking forward to f2f meetings towards the end of the year. My nearest group is 30 mins away. I have never really been a regular member- but go to 6 or 8 meetings a year. I think it is the goody-two-shoes in me still- knowing that flitting in and out of a group does not create trust. We had some grea...
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DavidG
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4
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3546
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The trade secret of John F. founder of the MIP groups...
(Preview)
We kiwis came from a far flung nook of the world. So, hey, we had to be fairly self-reliant away over there. There is a myth that we can make almost anything out of a piece of No. 8 wire... ...having been a farmer, of sorts, ah kin attest to that. I am still the owner of two wiltshire ewes- in a paddock ...
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DavidG
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5
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1034
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Courage to Change October 21
(Preview)
The author of today's reading reflects on what to do when in doubt. When in doubt, wise Al-Anon members have suggested that the author ask their higher power for clarity and help, and to trust that the request will be granted when the time is right. Today's Reminder: After years of asking only for a par...
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Skorpi
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8
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1552
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Courage to Change 10/17/20
(Preview)
Good morning, MIP family! Today's reading in C2C speaks of Al-Anon specifically. The author talks about as a newcomers many of us were surprised at the minimal rules of Al-Anon. Before recovery, we may have had a very strict sense of order in our lives -- the only thing that may have kept our ships afloa...
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PosiesandPuppies
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11
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2032
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Al-Anon Friendships
(Preview)
COVID and the moving to no meetings, online meetings, zoom, etc... has brought me a new insight I may not have gotten otherwise. I have listened to many speakers who talk about the connections they have through their AlAnon Group Meetings, Service, etc... I have attended since 2013 and have gone 5 ye...
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Conflicted
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8
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2383
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Hope for Today Oct 18
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Todays reading is a reflection on the Serenity prayer. God grant me the wisdom to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. The writer acknowledges that when first coming to alanon it was impossible to tell the...
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yanksfan51
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7
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1850
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C2C, 10/19
(Preview)
The reading for Monday, 10/19, reminds us that we are not responsible for the workings of the universe. It is important to take care of our responsibilities and let HP do the rest. We can do the best we can, but cannot force actions to take place. Struggling and worrying are useless. Let go and let Go...
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Lyne
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5
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1787
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10/20/20 ODAT Let Go, Let God
(Preview)
The simplicity of a slogan does not rule out varied interpretation, sometimes fueled by long held notions.Example in today's reading: Let Go, Let God may sound to some as an easy way out: Announce abandonment of a problem over to god's care, forget about it, and it gets magically resolved.While the p...
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Enigmatic
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2
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299
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Yellow balloon
(Preview)
Another beautiful send off. We let the yellow balloon go free & saw it rise into the clouds. Just for my mom. She was an Alanon member.
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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2052
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Monday, Monday...
(Preview)
... a good start... a bit cloudy outside... cool spring... ...we had big glitch in our church. It is a tiny one, really... [church that is] [but a seemingly big glitch.] But it did work through yesterday. The senior poster and I was on opposite poles, as far as our election went on Saturday. So I too...
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DavidG
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4
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1329
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TID BITS OF WISDOM_MONDAY
(Preview)
I am never alonenever abandonednever desertednever judgednever chastisedand never without Gods aid.--Shelley"As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God.My soul thirsts for God."Those who are lifting the world upward and onward are those who encourage more than critici...
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mamalioness
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1
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1429
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TID BITS OF WISDOM_SUNDAY
(Preview)
"To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh atyourself is maturity."--William A. WardTo remain young while growing old is the highest blessing.--German Proverb"Make rest a necessity, not an objective."--Jim Rohn"Action may not always bring happiness; but there i...
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mamalioness
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3
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1316
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If I was on my last year of life------
(Preview)
Journaling is teaching me a lot about me and here are some tidbits of things I , with the help of my Higher Power, want/plan to do to be a better me and if I had just ONE year left to live, here are some things that came up in my journaling I would want to make it the best year I could by: learning as much as I can ho...
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mamalioness
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6
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1758
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M mom passed away(brief)
(Preview)
My mom passed away this morning. She is now finally at peace. She lived a very hard life. She was my strength at times & was even my weakness. I loved her the hardest but also very gentle. I have peace knowing that I got to say goodbye remotely. I have so many loved who are here for me. To all of you: thanks...
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Hoot Nanny
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15
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2152
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TID BITS OF WISDOM_SUNDAY
(Preview)
"To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh atyourself is maturity."--William A. WardTo remain young while growing old is the highest blessing.--German Proverb"Make rest a necessity, not an objective."--Jim Rohn"Action may not always bring happiness; but there i...
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mamalioness
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0
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1104
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Memorial service tomorrow
(Preview)
I will continue my journey w my mom as she is laid to rest. It will be difficult but I have God have onmy side & holding my hand. My alanon sisters will be there in the front row w me as well as my mom's lovely daughters. My two beautiful sisters. Pray for me that all goes well. Love all of you the same way as y...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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1113
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Gratitude
(Preview)
I am grateful today to be able to work with people who have very different viewpoints than me. Even in the middle of this crisis which had bought such suffering to.so many people . I.am able to not react but respond with no need to convert them to my view point. How grateful I am to have maturity, tact and gr...
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Maresie888
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4
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352
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how to heal
(Preview)
I am new to this group. My first time inquiring for help to deal with an alcoholic husband who is verbally abusive and I am just beaten down. I left him to heal my heart. How do I heal from all this sadness? -- Edited by Sad Cat on Thursday 15th of October 2020 06:33:28 PM
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Sad Cat
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6
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519
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ODAT - October 16
(Preview)
Today's reading in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon speaks to the diversity of people that come into our program -- all kinds of wealth/poverty, education, personalities. It cautions members not to judge or patronize people for superficial reasons -- their clothing, manner of speech, etc. Anyone who...
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Freetime
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4
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427
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A glitch, relapse- ugh! [Long]
(Preview)
I still have the capacity for self sabotage- or so it appears... Yesterday was a great day. In this group- maybe noticed by three of us- but highly significant for me. I am a believer in "The Butterfly Effect". How a small but significant change can lead to greater things. For me it was a si...
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DavidG
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2
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355
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C2C - 10/15
(Preview)
Tomorrow's daily talks about forgiveness and suggests that it is the most loving form of detachment we can find. Instead of thinking of forgiveness as an eraser to wipe another's slate clean or a gavel that we pound to pronounce someone 'not guilty', the writer suggests we could view forgiveness as...
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Iamhere
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6
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359
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Courage to Change October 14
(Preview)
In today's reading, the author reflects on a quote: "Do not search for the truth, only cease to cherish opinions." For today's author, ceasing to cherish opinions is tied directly to step 10 (Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.) The author has a tendenc...
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Skorpi
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5
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492
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This story speaks to us- our founders are heroes...
(Preview)
[video=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVCYeL8Uv8s&fbcl...
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DavidG
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5
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2388
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can you mute or block someone on Private message???
(Preview)
I never asked this question, but I am wondering if you can mute or block someone on private message....I had this REALLY WEIRD exchange with someone with whom I thought I was sorta OK , but that changed over, Lord knows what...I am NOT unsafe, but the exchange had a "cringe" factor to it... -- Edited...
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mamalioness
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12
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481
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Re-experiencing loss
(Preview)
Hi fellow friends, I am struggling again (but I know it's part of my recovery and progress not perfection). Long story short, but I have been separated from my AH for nearly 2 months now and while I had hoped to feel happiness, I am struggling again to fully let go. I realise that because of my past, I hav...
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Bettertomorrow
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6
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1406
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Sometimes, NOTHING but an old fashioned hug will do it
(Preview)
Went to gym to literally drown my sorrows in the pool...swam hard for about 45 minutes and as I was leaving, my friends , the managers, Trina and Trey both yelled "how are ya Rosie???" I walked over to them and said "horrible...the last of my sisters passed away" and we talked and Trina just grabbed m...
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mamalioness
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4
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407
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The last of my sisters died
(Preview)
She was Patricia Godfrey Lowe, she died Sept. 25th from cancer...her daughter , Deb, didn't know how to find me so she hacked into her mom's facebook account and told me Now I have no sisters left...Patsy was not my bio sister, but when i was 12 and got real good at running away, she and Gini, her younger s...
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mamalioness
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11
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495
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Getting my head around JADE
(Preview)
Hi y'all... I have heard the J.A.D.E. akronym on overseas forums- but never in NZ. So I never paid much need to it- until recently. I suppose I do need it now- so I embrace it- and make it my own... I have a little trouble with one part of it- the "E". I always like to explain things- myself, etc... I know...
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DavidG
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7
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1109
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C2C, 10/12
(Preview)
In the reading for Monday, 10/12, the writer wanted their spouse to get sober so they could live happily ever after. The ugly disease overshadowed all aspects of the relationship, and the writer felt empty. With alanon they had to unlearn romantic nonsense, find a satisfying life in the here and no...
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Lyne
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7
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1931
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10/13/20 C2C – Easy Does it
(Preview)
Upon reflection, today's author admitted that responding to a negative situation with raised voice and angry words did not help, and did not lead to good feelings after. Using the AlAnon slogan Easy Does It, however, helped maintain calm thoughts that in turn, allowed a calm response and action. Re...
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Enigmatic
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4
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350
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It is all set w no regrets
(Preview)
I am sending my mom a good send off on Friday! She would be so proud & pleased w her children. She would be pleased w the love & joy she found on this earth. Her heart would be moved by the singing & the moments shared by family & friends. She was & will always be my loving mother & fri...
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Hoot Nanny
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4
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1226
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The Need To Defend Myself
(Preview)
I've been fighting the urge to defend myself with AH for 2 days now. It's so hard to not do it though. It feels so important to tell my side,tell all my thoughts and feelings,to try to convince him he's wrong about something. What's the point though? He will never agree with what I say,he will never say "o...
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SunnyFrogs
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12
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3740
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Courage to Change 10/10
(Preview)
Today's reading looks at how Al-Anon helps us to accept what we can't change, and change what we can. The author relates a story of as a child, they would be fearful their car would go over the side of the road as they traveled this one particular road. They would cling tightly to the door handle of the car,...
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PosiesandPuppies
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4
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370
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Courage to Change 10/8
(Preview)
Today's reading is about gratitude, attitude and miracles in recovery. The writer suggests that our current lives are miracles. So many of us came to Al-Anon feeling alone and hopeless, and discover that no situation is really hopeless...we find others who have been through the pain of coping wi...
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Iamhere
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6
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1591
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Hope for Today Oct 11
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about a coping mechanism that is sometimes used to deal with the chaos of alcoholism. The writer describes having grown up in chaos and in response escaping through books and art; over time this was not only an escape from all that was happening in the alcohol...
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yanksfan51
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4
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1921
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It's been a while / brand new qualifier(s)
(Preview)
Hello everyone, It has been quite a few years since I have posted here. I got remarried and moved to a different city and life just kind of happened the way it does. All the while, the disease of Alcoholism has been waiting and doing pushups getting ready for another round of battle against a badly arm...
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mikeco
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9
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585
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Courage to Change - October 9 - Surrender
(Preview)
The author of today's share did not want to admit defeat. That is how they viewed powerlessness -- losing the battle and submitting to the enemy. In Al-Anon, they learned that surrender does not mean submission, it means to stop fighting reality and to stop doing the higher power's job. Surrender...
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Freetime
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4
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1353
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Progress, not perfection...
(Preview)
Thanks for listening... My live is taking turns in the right direction. I have been wanting to write a book for a few years. My goal was to produce 200 to 400 copies. I kept working- so I could pay for the printing... and never seemed to make it. The book is about a 19th century character. He was in convic...
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DavidG
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2
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1083
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Newbie again picking up the solutions from the past.
(Preview)
I am not really surprised at the relapse I got kicked by and the outcome. I am back in the neighborhood where this all began; disease awareness and recovery learning and work. I am surprised how disrespectful and nasty it is in hanging on to each and every fault it used to take me down and then attempt t...
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JerryF
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8
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1123
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Struggling to keep perspective
(Preview)
My father is dying. Stage 4 metastatic laryngeal cancer. He is an alcoholic but over the last few years had made great strides in controlling the amount he drank (he finally quit entirely at his diagnosis 4 months ago). As a result of his effort to control his disease our relationship was able to grow an...
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Twinkies
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8
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531
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