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Post Info TOPIC: A Saturday share...


~*Service Worker*~

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A Saturday share...


 

  aww Less and less angst as I go on... or so it seems...

went out to a singing acting on person show last night.

I did fall asleep for about 10 mins- usual for me- and something I may have to live with.

But I was asked to be a guest poet next Friday night... being a support person for younger artists...

oh my! This was a dusty old sheep town growing up- and very dry and boring. Very black and white thinking people.

Our population since then is 5 times more. But our Mediterranean climate is attracting the best from around the world.

And lots of ex-pat kiwis- and others would love to live here- when lock-down is over.

I never ever saw myself as a poet because i did not see myself as a person, period.

But Alanon and ACA have given me that person- a work in progress... smile

And I see our groups as a work in progress too. I see our groups, not as a product but a process.

They only exist because we all pitch in- as and when we can- and keep the ball rolling...

...I love it here... I think exemplify what a modern progressive Alanon group is capable of.

Our attendance numbers grow steadily... but also we have new incoming members- confident to share and to grow.

Our local assembly is one week away- looking forward to seeing actual people! 

But every day here I get glimpses of real people, real lives... which are a gift. aww ...

cheers,

DavidG.



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~*Service Worker*~

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Congratulations on being asked to guest poet!! You will have to share how that went, and if you so desire, the poem you presented!!



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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oh yes, P. It is serious gritty poem, really... but shall pin it up, next weekend.

I am working on it- refining it... as we speak... :)

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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i am looking forward to seeing your poem and hearing about next weeks experience!



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~*Service Worker*~

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smile It's next Saturday now... and god-willing I will be at an Alanon assembly in four hours. I know that membership like things to be really regular. We take finger food.We have a business meeting. We have an auction after lunch- which is a lot of fun. And we have sharing.

8 days ago I was at a music show- about railways... ...and a couple of people asked me to be a guest poet at a reading they were doing.

The reading was last night. Audiences for poetry are meagre- to say the least. Someone bought their mother, which doubled the audience. biggrin...

Anyhow they are doing a series of five readings- along our inland cycle trail, which used to be the railway line. it was videoed- so there is an aim to reach a wider audience.

They gave me a $50 appearance fee- which is the most I have earned from poetry in one day!

For therapy and survival I have done a lot of singing. I perform a lot of collage. With musical inserts. Working as a fruit picker I got extremely bored and learned the scales, through singing "Do Re Me" from 'The Sound Of Music.

In our local culture boys did not sing- and girls very little. In our small town we did have a few singers, and a local dance band. But at school there was no fun or joy in singing and dancing even.

There was a big drinking culture, and a smaller church culture. This was called "knee benders, and elbow benders'.

My mum and dad would drink on a Sunday morning- which was illegal. They joked and called it "Sunday School".

So I rebelled and went to the real Sunday School across the road in the little church. Once a month.

Part of my journey of discovery.

Anyway, I am rambling... I would have liked to perform a comical piece at the end- but is was their show and I let that slide.

After all I was a guest to their performance.

here are the two i read:

Have to post these separately- because of the formatting.

 

                        



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~*Service Worker*~

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Wow, David!
Those were some powerful poems!

I want to thank you for the translations at the bottom LOL! I read the second one again, inserting the English equivalent words... made it easier for me, but probably not as powerful.

How I long to hear these with the sound and cadence of your voice! The first poem almost made me cry... I found it so sad. 

What an experience... and to be paid $50 bucks to boot!! LOL! Congrats!

Thank you for returning to this thread and sharing your experience and especially the poems!

&



__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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aww Not sure if this is good literature, P. A lot more like sharing and understanding.

     The poems are off-topic- and once Yanksfan has read i will probably delete them...

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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Perhaps you could move to an "off topic" post... I would hate for them to be lost media!



__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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smile Sunday evening...

                               last night I was ready to quit. The poetry reading on Friday night was a best for me. I thought best to bow out now- while the going was good. A swansong. 

A neighbour's partner died last week- about 2 hours away. I don't know him well, really. We have a chat and a laugh- when we meet in the village. But that is about it.

My neighbouring group to the West is in trouble. It is in a big tourist resort and there are no overseas visitors. Other members have had to move out- the rentals are crippling.

So the group is down to the one hold-timer... ...she wasn't there- but she furnished a report at the assembly outlining the situation. I thought about dropping over there- to commiserate and to support.

Then- hey... ... I wa thinking that is was time for me to bail out and retire from active membership.

The forst 70% of my life was a living nightmare. Horrible.

I just can't imagine how i had a marriage and kids. I was just not there a lot of the time.

But as I look at my inventory I realise that i did have a life. Personality -wise I was just faking git a lot of the time. With a Noo Joisy accent I called it my "poisonality".

I know now I had repeated panic attacks.

This evening I lost my truck keys. I had lost a couple of other things, but just put it to one side.

But the truck keys are pretty essential.

Step 11 is pretty much second nature now. Just about 10 mins ago I found the truck keys and the other items in short order. I know now that things are coming into alignment- at least for now. aww

Lovely to be able to celebrate change... even small changes- it all helps... aww

Thanks.



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~*Service Worker*~

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How wondeful you have a new identity For those of us in lock.down  it is good to remember there will be a life after that I certainly thought the last recession was a hard one. I scrambled to get a job. I did not know how to survive I was not someone with many skills then. Now I have refined my skill base I am far more solid, resourceful and focused Most important I know the danger of going into poor me Yesterday I worked over 16 hours on my quest to get my bills down. The end and the beginning of the year are big bill times. Getting ahead of them is my number one priority 16 hours later I fall into bed the moment I get in the door.

The good news about being so focused us there is not enough room to compare myself to others. 

The good news is that being so fiercely focused I have no room for #poor me#  poor me is deadly to me 

The good news about being focused is that I do not feel lonely loneliness at this time of year was very very diffcult for me .

There is no semblance of normality here, lots of fear, lots of anbuguity.   There is also a lot of musinformation about the virus. I no longer think it is my responsibility to educate others. 

I do not have to save the world only me. 

So those of us who are in interminable pandemic panic, economic melt down and revival of all our triggers along with it certainly appreciate hearing about a life that is 

pastoral, rural but most of all not part of an interminable chaotic response to the Covid 19 pandemic that has become the norm. Living in chaos and multiple chaotic situstions is of course the norm for me. i endured 8 non stop chaltic tears with the qualifier who.was a very skilled sabateur.  That cme to a ponnacle over the holidays. 

Please take note our life in the USA is unmitigated chaos. We are back to a lock down. We have a curfew 

This kind of circumstance is unheard of.  Al anon is.much needed at this time because we are all living on the edge of our sears 

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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aww Thanks for your response Maresie.

    I was in the USA two years ago when my brother passed. Compared to NZ things were hectic even then- especially in and around Dallas. Must admit I followed the pandemic issue closely when it happened. I did want to understand it. Now it is broad picture stuff, as the vaccine is looming.

I have been wanting to air and ventilate what is emerging for me. About serenity and detachment- and how the world is.

In my own immediate circle I have made a lot of peace. Suppose, kia, grandkids. Even my community around about.

Come 2021 I wanted to go onto Tradition 5 a bit more. But more reaching out in the general sense, and not just with Alanon.

"Let it begin with me..." is a line we do in meetings fairly often.

Like you I worked my guts out- at that stage of my life. But I live in a country where the elderly get a certain amount of care. There always seems to be an end in sight.

I don't want to be blind to the rest of the world. Not in denial. 

At the moment the TV is off. 5 weeks ago i was watching CNN, Fox the BBC and the other channels...

...this will seem really chintzy and meek- but I just want to be a little ray of sunshine.

I openly want to  be a part of change... beginning with my own little corner. To talk and communicate- to encourage. aww ...



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~*Service Worker*~

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David 

We hve no.broad octure. Mant states are on lock down 

The virus is ragimg 

There is no.end in sight 

Many.countries and states are on curfew 

There is no concrete data on when the vacine wil be available 

The death rate os wxpected to surge in 2 weeks 

Please kniw we are living in a vey different world thsn you are 

Totally changed 

No plabs can be made at this tine.

 

Plus crime is up.way way way up in certain places 

Maresie 

 



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~*Service Worker*~

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~*Service Worker*~

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David 

I stopped watching television after I had to move out this yesr 

Another building is about to go through the move out 

I am detaching from that 

The process has many many many flaws 

I know my limits 

I am sorry for the economic oroblems associated with this pandemic 

The rents will have to come down 

The current projection is of much more death 

We have to be ready for more chaos so self oreservation is extremely important. 

Self care is really important 

 



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