Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · hotrod

The May 31 reading in the C2 C speaks about embarking on a spiritual journey when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon. It suggests that many stories have been written about a hero who takes a spiritual journey where he must face great challenges before gaining a treasure at the end. It goes on to suggest tha...

almostThere · almostThere

I want to apologize to people of the Christian faith that may understandably take offence if they stumble upon some of my posts. It has taken a long time for me to digest that what I experienced was abuse in the guise of Christianity but in no way representative of the vast majority of people who practice...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Found the alc sob. His truck was at neighbors. Daughter and i were driving by to go for ice cream. I almost threw up and she started to cry when saw the truck. Less than a mile from our home. I went in the hose. . He was passed out in her(yes, another local drunk) couch. I woke him, he was all, "what, i just...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I am new to all of this. My husband finally agreed to get help with his drinking about a month ago, after he was arrested for public intoxication when he took my three young children to the library while plastered. I will forever be grateful to the bystander who call 911 when she saw him. A therapist I sa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Before I stumbled upon Alanon, there seemed to be no problem of mine, and especially others, that I could not fix. I still have brief bouts of shame and embarrassment as I recall the deluge of unsolicited and misdirected advice I constantly doled out to others, especially the A in my life. Reading dail...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection . The reading goes on to say that when we hear:...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Hi all. Needsome "been there done that " thoughts. I have not seen my alc husb since friday morning. Its now 6:00o saturday eve. He was with a buddy, i guess last night, if i believe him. This morning, not home. Had a text at ten saying where he was and hed be back soon. Ive been unable to reach him...

almostThere · almostThere

Just had a typical experience with my AW. Went to hear my son's band tonight. AW had her wine as usual. I had nothing as usual. Found out that my daughter's dorm assignment for this year at school seems to be in error which could cause some problems. I kept telling my daughter not to worry and that we w...

mjferg · mjferg

Lately I am feeling very overwhelmed.I just bought a new place and I am am in the middle of a total remodel,it is very stressful.I also have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I have come down with a very bad cold.I am pretty frustrated and tired right now.Right when I need to be at my best,I feel awful.I am pret...

ampere · ampere

I have a friend who has been sober for several years but has never sought treatment. He quit drinking on his own but is still very much grappling with many emotional issues, which he is in denial about. He is in a band with me, and the other member and I are finally ready to tell him we don't want him in the ban...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

As I have written in many posts, my AW left me a couple of months ago. Her main complaints at the time were that I hadn't accomplished any spiritual growth over the last several years, that I was shut down and didn't listen. As all of us have commented on numerous times, you can't rely on alcoholics to gi...

Truth · Truth

Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry y...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was asking me about the AlAnon program and it really got me to thinking. Now he believes his live in GF is an alcoholic and needs help and has tried relentlessly to get her to get help, yet what I find hard to come to terms with is that HE drinks to the point of drunk...

Linda R · Linda R

Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...

Raven_x · Raven_x

I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...

helpless mom · helpless mom

My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...

Breezy139 · Breezy139

I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...

Fairlee · Fairlee

so I have been trying to "self assess" when I find myself wanting to return to unhealthy behavior. It's been very interesting taking the focus off of why I'm angry, frustrated and looking at why I deal with it the way I do and what my true motive is. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is that I...

hotrod · hotrod

This, C2C reading for May 29th addresses the powerful emotion of "fear". It points out that fear is usually focused on the future, because we worry about what might happen and try to anticipate any disastrous outcome so that we would be prepared to protect ourselves. The reading goe...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I'm realizing I've never been taught how to deal with anger. We weren't really allowed to be angry growing up, as my father had the corner market on that. Our job was to ensure we never ever did anything to provoke anger, and when it occurs it was my job to defuse it. So here I am a kick in the pants from 40 an...

Jessie226 · Jessie226

Hi everyone. I'm not even sure where to begin. My twin sister is an alcoholic. I don't even remember a time when she wasn't some kind of addict, not since middle school. We are 34 years old now. She got pregnant at 18, and through her 20's her drinking got progressively worse. She lost everything, all of h...

misterpiko · misterpiko

First time posting and my last one didn't work, so I'm keeping this brief. My hubby was just sent home from his out of town job because he relapsed for the 4th time this year on crack. For his 3rd relapse, the boundary I set was that we'd separate, and this time it was that we'd separate physically as well. I...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everybody: Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Al-anon has taught me to put a water proof protectant on my feathers. Now when it rains and it will rain, I can still go about my life and enjoy each moment for the gift it is. When my exAH calls or texts while drunk which he does, I don't have to take it personally or answer and it doesn't have to effect my mood...

Skorpi · Skorpi

I have been struggling recently with the fact that today is my wife's last day of intensive outpatient therapy and that she is still drinking. I managed to get my hopes up and believe her when she said she wanted to be sober for treatment this time. Well... Yesterday I left work around 10 am as planned to...

hopefull2015 · hopefull2015

I posted on here months ago when I was feeling very alone and contemplating going to a Face to Face meeting. Firstly, Thank you to everyone who commented and encouraged me back in those dark days. It really meant a lot and I did start going to meetings! My husband is now away working following a period of u...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about competing with others and constantly comparing . It points out that the only valid comparison is to compare myself to, who I am now to the person that I used to be. I love the slogan" Compare and Despair"as it reminds me of the quote from Malthie Babc...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well today was due to be my first day at my new uni. Daughter decided to develop the flu overnight and needed to stay at home today watching anime on the couch and sipping hot lemon and honey drinks. I can't say I was entirely upset by this as I have begun new classes whilst in the middle of exams and it's pre...

jen1234 · jen1234

Hello I'm new to the page and taking great comfort from your comments to each other. Just wondered if anyone had experienced pressure from their in laws to stay with their A? I have just left my AH for the 4th time as we have had another binge and I am detemined to make a life away from all the chaos to bring u...

MsRobot · MsRobot

I didn't have any idea how listening to others' experiences would bring so many memories and emotions to the surface. Wow! A good friend of mine called me. I told her that I found Al-Anon and how amazed and grateful I am that a group can be so inspiring and supportive. Than I told her that my ex-boy...

gabigail · gabigail

I had a great day yesterday with my A. I have leaned heavily on my HP lately which has me thinking things differently and not getting so defensive, etc. So when I got home from work yesterday, I was going to let go of all the hurt and bad tapes and past conversations my A and I have had and just have a nice con...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

So I sincerely don't want to offend anyone -- please hit the back button if this topic upsets you. Since my ex AW and I broke up there has been something that has been bothering me. I have made the realization that one of the reasons I am sad about losing this relationship is that the sexual aspect of the r...

Theruts · Theruts

I'm new to this message board and I'm in search of a nearby meeting for my wife and I to go to. I recognize that we are powerless over this and we need help. Our daughter is a recovering drug user and alcoholic. She is about 75 days into sobriety. She is on her first step. She is a young adult, age 19 and li...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Saucy · Saucy

Last night after my AH got home from his 3rd AA meeting, he came home and told me that one of his (heroin addicted) sons had called and begged for money to "feed his family". I told him that I had heard a powerful thing in my Al Anon meeting, about a man who got on his knees and prayed for his kids...

hotrod · hotrod

It is interesting to note that both the Courage to Change and the ODAT readings for today, May 27, discusses losing hope, shutting down all our feelings out of fear of disappointment, and deciding that caring, hoping waiting are risky and avoiding disappointment is the way to go. We can pull ourselve...

giraffe13 · giraffe13

I think I am having a pretty heavy anxiety/panic attack feeling all day. I am not able to manage the physical sensation. Heavy chest, stomach tore up, I mainly feel weird and have trouble breathing. I like a Monday night meeting in my mom's home state but could not be there this week and am home where I d...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

Since I have been going through a rough time with my recent separation/divorce and asking a lot of questions about how to cope, I thought I would share a couple victories. First, I started looking for roommates since my ex AW left, since I needed help with the animal sanctuary, didn't want to be alone 5...

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

Confusion abound. I have been with my husband for 7 years. Married for almost 4 of them. As a couple I have learned a few things about myself that I truly don't like and I am working on. I started to realize my husband was a Jekyll and Hyde. I saw the alcohol being drank while I was showering in the morning....

Holly09 · Holly09

I finally did it after a belligerent night last night (first one in years believe it or not) I stuck to my commitment and this morning told him he couldn't stay here anymore. It kind of just blurted out of my mouth after his apology him saying we need to talk. I wasn't angry or resentful I calmly explaine...

Butterfly0516 · Butterfly0516

I left this forum for a few weeks....right when things were getting crazy and AH was falling back into his old ways after 90 days of outpatient rehab. Well, about a week and a half ago, something happened....he went on a golfing trip with his buddies, got wasted of course. But the next day, something c...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

And OMGOSH .. LOL .. it almost got ugly this town is not big enough we almost wound up at the same place for lunch. He thought it was a good idea to take them to a "bar" it's actually the local pool hall. My son plays there on Saturday's. I have no idea what possessed him that was a good idea .. the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Wow. So I continued having a crisis about my uni classes not being at times I could do without leaving my daughter all alone but I decided to just keep on next-right-thinging it (and that means study for exams right now) and trust that my HP had something better in mind. I'm getting better and better at do...

el-cee · el-cee

Im a grateful member of alanon and Ive recently came to another realisation. learning that ive been affected by alcoholism has allowed me to look at the symptoms within myself. The anger, resentment, controlling, manipulating, victim, martyr type symptoms. Ive been thinking about when this sta...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 25th speaks about the destructive tool of" denying" reality and goes on to point out that denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism. Alcoholics often denied their drinking problems and many of us who have been affected by this disease,also deny our proble...

Fairlee · Fairlee

why do I have to learn the hard way? Ugh! Stubborness runs deep in this Texas girl! My AH once again suffered a physical ailment due to his drinking and had yet another doctor tell him he needed to stop drinking. He didn't share this with me until 3 weeks after it happened. Whatever. So he started off good...

Saucy · Saucy

Well, I took your advice, friends, and I went to a Face to Face meeting. I have been home a few hours from it, and am still amazed at one little thing that was said, that struck me deeply. It was a super small meeting, because I live in a pretty small community, but I heard something I just have to share: We we...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I was thinking this morning how resistant I can be to try trying new things. I tend to champion myself as a risk taker but I'm not. I'm very selective in what I explore. It's a form of laziness, closed mindedness and judgementalism. In an Alanon meeting that I attend, we pass a sign up calendar. Membe...

Abs0412 · Abs0412

With much hesitation I dated a recovering alcoholic for the past 4.5 years. It was initially a bumpy ride and has intermittently been that way for the past couple years. He will engage in behaviors that start arguments such as saying provocative things to me, being extremely irritable etc. I had br...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May 24 th talks about the Steps. In the beginning, the reading focuses on the First Step and how it is most important, to finally admit that we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism . It goes on to state that because of the confusion arising from these efforts, and this helpl...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes. The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to ot...

Maggiesmom · Maggiesmom

ok, I'm new to this idea of a support group, but here I go... Nobody in my family has ever been an alcohoholic and most are only social drinkers as am I. However, my friend is. We were married long time ago and have always been friends, and he did drink way back then but nothing enough to be considered that he...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I don't know if I should be so amused but I am now. As I have moaned about many times lately, daughter's father is being a real nuisance recently and quite abusive and aggressive. Daughter is at an age where she doesn't really want to go to his house so often, she has other things going on in her life, I don't...

runningwife · runningwife

I left my AH tonight. I told him no more and he didn't believe me. It turned into a huge awful mess in front of my children. He scared my children, terrified them. He called my phone 20-30 times and kept saying the same thing over and over. He said I'm retarded and really messed up. I could smell the alcohol...

andromeda · andromeda

I am feeling very guilty about going back to work and leaving my son home a lot more in the future. He is 16.5 but he has been my sidekick all these years as I homeschooled him, etc. It will be a significant change for all of us and my XAH is making things more difficult because he's so emotional and caught u...

mjferg · mjferg

My daughter's boyfriend got into a bad argument with his father and is now living with us.He isn't working ,doesn't help much around the house and basically plays video games all the time.My daughter works and goes to college.I am also going to school and I am in the middle of a big remodel.I told my dau...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	C2C 5-31 (Preview) The May 31 reading in the C2 C speaks about embarking on a spiritual journey when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon. It suggests that many stories have been written about a hero who takes a spiritual journey where he must face great challenges before gaining a treasure at the end. It goes on to suggest tha...	hotrod	2	331	May 31, 2015 by hotrod
	A quick apology to all... (Preview) I want to apologize to people of the Christian faith that may understandably take offence if they stumble upon some of my posts. It has taken a long time for me to digest that what I experienced was abuse in the guise of Christianity but in no way representative of the vast majority of people who practice...	almostThere	6	733	May 31, 2015 by el-cee
	update to help. . (Preview) Found the alc sob. His truck was at neighbors. Daughter and i were driving by to go for ice cream. I almost threw up and she started to cry when saw the truck. Less than a mile from our home. I went in the hose. . He was passed out in her(yes, another local drunk) couch. I woke him, he was all, "what, i just...	Theoceancalls	5	431	May 30, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	Finding time (Preview) I am new to all of this. My husband finally agreed to get help with his drinking about a month ago, after he was arrested for public intoxication when he took my three young children to the library while plastered. I will forever be grateful to the bystander who call 911 when she saw him. A therapist I sa...	EarlyBird	5	462	May 30, 2015 by Mattie
	ODAT 5-30 Minding Our Own Business (Preview) Before I stumbled upon Alanon, there seemed to be no problem of mine, and especially others, that I could not fix. I still have brief bouts of shame and embarrassment as I recall the deluge of unsolicited and misdirected advice I constantly doled out to others, especially the A in my life. Reading dail...	Enigmatic	4	850	May 30, 2015 by andromeda
	C2C 5-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection . The reading goes on to say that when we hear:...	hotrod	3	394	May 30, 2015 by hotrod
	help for next time (Preview) Hi all. Needsome "been there done that " thoughts. I have not seen my alc husb since friday morning. Its now 6:00o saturday eve. He was with a buddy, i guess last night, if i believe him. This morning, not home. Had a text at ten saying where he was and hed be back soon. Ive been unable to reach him...	Theoceancalls	4	406	May 30, 2015 by hotrod
	didn't take the bait (Preview) Just had a typical experience with my AW. Went to hear my son's band tonight. AW had her wine as usual. I had nothing as usual. Found out that my daughter's dorm assignment for this year at school seems to be in error which could cause some problems. I kept telling my daughter not to worry and that we w...	almostThere	9	610	May 30, 2015 by almostThere
	overwhelmed (Preview) Lately I am feeling very overwhelmed.I just bought a new place and I am am in the middle of a total remodel,it is very stressful.I also have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I have come down with a very bad cold.I am pretty frustrated and tired right now.Right when I need to be at my best,I feel awful.I am pret...	mjferg	3	398	May 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	looking for advice on a friend who is a dry drunk (Preview) I have a friend who has been sober for several years but has never sought treatment. He quit drinking on his own but is still very much grappling with many emotional issues, which he is in denial about. He is in a band with me, and the other member and I are finally ready to tell him we don't want him in the ban...	ampere	3	443	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Leaving versus being left, asking for experiences... (Preview) As I have written in many posts, my AW left me a couple of months ago. Her main complaints at the time were that I hadn't accomplished any spiritual growth over the last several years, that I was shut down and didn't listen. As all of us have commented on numerous times, you can't rely on alcoholics to gi...	SpookyMulder	10	571	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Validated Myself (Preview) Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry y...	Truth	5	353	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Does attending AlAnon and drinking make one a hypocrit? To drink or not to drink that is the question. (Preview) I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was asking me about the AlAnon program and it really got me to thinking. Now he believes his live in GF is an alcoholic and needs help and has tried relentlessly to get her to get help, yet what I find hard to come to terms with is that HE drinks to the point of drunk...	shellyj123	19	1708	May 30, 2015 by Billie
	New to having an addicted significant other. Advice? (Preview) Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...	Linda R	8	504	May 30, 2015 by mjferg
	1.75 Liters in 4 days (Preview) I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...	Raven_x	22	5523	May 29, 2015 by Raven_x
	Reality and what I imagined were SO different! (Preview) So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...	Skorpi	6	532	May 29, 2015 by Irish7
	depression in alcoholics (Preview) My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...	helpless mom	5	557	May 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	Reflections of Progress.... (Preview) Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...	Jozie	5	435	May 29, 2015 by serenity47
	Here it comes again... (Preview) So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...	PennyJenny010115	15	793	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	I need a push and I'm stubborn as hell. ( 1 2 ) newbie religion higher power loneliness anger first meeting (Preview) Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...	almostThere	67	17368	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	First post, feeling so lost and confused (Preview) I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...	Breezy139	5	420	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	My biggest problem (Preview) so I have been trying to "self assess" when I find myself wanting to return to unhealthy behavior. It's been very interesting taking the focus off of why I'm angry, frustrated and looking at why I deal with it the way I do and what my true motive is. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is that I...	Fairlee	8	668	May 29, 2015 by glad
	C2C reading 5-29 (Preview) This, C2C reading for May 29th addresses the powerful emotion of "fear". It points out that fear is usually focused on the future, because we worry about what might happen and try to anticipate any disastrous outcome so that we would be prepared to protect ourselves. The reading goe...	hotrod	2	462	May 29, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Anger - what to do with it? (Preview) I'm realizing I've never been taught how to deal with anger. We weren't really allowed to be angry growing up, as my father had the corner market on that. Our job was to ensure we never ever did anything to provoke anger, and when it occurs it was my job to defuse it. So here I am a kick in the pants from 40 an...	LedfootJenny	10	598	May 29, 2015 by andromeda
	First post, feeling hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm not even sure where to begin. My twin sister is an alcoholic. I don't even remember a time when she wasn't some kind of addict, not since middle school. We are 34 years old now. She got pregnant at 18, and through her 20's her drinking got progressively worse. She lost everything, all of h...	Jessie226	9	416	May 29, 2015 by Jessie226
	New Here- Need Advice Re: husband who is relapsing (Preview) First time posting and my last one didn't work, so I'm keeping this brief. My hubby was just sent home from his out of town job because he relapsed for the 4th time this year on crack. For his 3rd relapse, the boundary I set was that we'd separate, and this time it was that we'd separate physically as well. I...	misterpiko	9	628	May 29, 2015 by misterpiko
	Hope for Today May 26 (Preview) Good morning everybody: Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made...	yanksfan51	3	679	May 29, 2015 by Breakingfree
	I finally get the water off a ducks back saying...... (Preview) Al-anon has taught me to put a water proof protectant on my feathers. Now when it rains and it will rain, I can still go about my life and enjoy each moment for the gift it is. When my exAH calls or texts while drunk which he does, I don't have to take it personally or answer and it doesn't have to effect my mood...	Breakingfree	8	471	May 28, 2015 by andromeda
	HP reminded me that it isn't my responsibility... (Preview) I have been struggling recently with the fact that today is my wife's last day of intensive outpatient therapy and that she is still drinking. I managed to get my hopes up and believe her when she said she wanted to be sober for treatment this time. Well... Yesterday I left work around 10 am as planned to...	Skorpi	8	484	May 28, 2015 by Irish7
	Al-Anon meetings (Preview) I posted on here months ago when I was feeling very alone and contemplating going to a Face to Face meeting. Firstly, Thank you to everyone who commented and encouraged me back in those dark days. It really meant a lot and I did start going to meetings! My husband is now away working following a period of u...	hopefull2015	20	939	May 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2C 5-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about competing with others and constantly comparing . It points out that the only valid comparison is to compare myself to, who I am now to the person that I used to be. I love the slogan" Compare and Despair"as it reminds me of the quote from Malthie Babc...	hotrod	1	399	May 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	So much for my first day! (Preview) Well today was due to be my first day at my new uni. Daughter decided to develop the flu overnight and needed to stay at home today watching anime on the couch and sipping hot lemon and honey drinks. I can't say I was entirely upset by this as I have begun new classes whilst in the middle of exams and it's pre...	missmeliss	3	615	May 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	pressure from in laws (Preview) Hello I'm new to the page and taking great comfort from your comments to each other. Just wondered if anyone had experienced pressure from their in laws to stay with their A? I have just left my AH for the 4th time as we have had another binge and I am detemined to make a life away from all the chaos to bring u...	jen1234	15	848	May 28, 2015 by Skorpi
	Fake Happiness (Preview) I didn't have any idea how listening to others' experiences would bring so many memories and emotions to the surface. Wow! A good friend of mine called me. I told her that I found Al-Anon and how amazed and grateful I am that a group can be so inspiring and supportive. Than I told her that my ex-boy...	MsRobot	7	765	May 28, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	I hate this disease! HP passive aggressive (Preview) I had a great day yesterday with my A. I have leaned heavily on my HP lately which has me thinking things differently and not getting so defensive, etc. So when I got home from work yesterday, I was going to let go of all the hurt and bad tapes and past conversations my A and I have had and just have a nice con...	gabigail	7	766	May 28, 2015 by gabigail
	SEX: AN HONEST QUESTION... (Preview) So I sincerely don't want to offend anyone -- please hit the back button if this topic upsets you. Since my ex AW and I broke up there has been something that has been bothering me. I have made the realization that one of the reasons I am sad about losing this relationship is that the sexual aspect of the r...	SpookyMulder	25	1037	May 28, 2015 by Breakingfree
	My first post and need serious advice (Preview) I'm new to this message board and I'm in search of a nearby meeting for my wife and I to go to. I recognize that we are powerless over this and we need help. Our daughter is a recovering drug user and alcoholic. She is about 75 days into sobriety. She is on her first step. She is a young adult, age 19 and li...	Theruts	13	557	May 28, 2015 by Theruts
	Is the chatroom down? (Preview)	mercedes1959	5	454	May 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH's reaction to MY recovery (Preview) Last night after my AH got home from his 3rd AA meeting, he came home and told me that one of his (heroin addicted) sons had called and begged for money to "feed his family". I told him that I had heard a powerful thing in my Al Anon meeting, about a man who got on his knees and prayed for his kids...	Saucy	10	671	May 27, 2015 by a4l
	ODAT and C2C readings 5-27 (Preview) It is interesting to note that both the Courage to Change and the ODAT readings for today, May 27, discusses losing hope, shutting down all our feelings out of fear of disappointment, and deciding that caring, hoping waiting are risky and avoiding disappointment is the way to go. We can pull ourselve...	hotrod	2	695	May 27, 2015 by Skorpi
	tore up stomach all day. so much fun. (Preview) I think I am having a pretty heavy anxiety/panic attack feeling all day. I am not able to manage the physical sensation. Heavy chest, stomach tore up, I mainly feel weird and have trouble breathing. I like a Monday night meeting in my mom's home state but could not be there this week and am home where I d...	giraffe13	3	675	May 27, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	A raging stranger, a letter written 6 times, and bottle being waved under my nose and a thank you...LOL (Preview) Since I have been going through a rough time with my recent separation/divorce and asking a lot of questions about how to cope, I thought I would share a couple victories. First, I started looking for roommates since my ex AW left, since I needed help with the animal sanctuary, didn't want to be alone 5...	SpookyMulder	13	787	May 26, 2015 by Mirandac
	Do I stay or do I go? This is a constant battle in my heart and mind. (Preview) Confusion abound. I have been with my husband for 7 years. Married for almost 4 of them. As a couple I have learned a few things about myself that I truly don't like and I am working on. I started to realize my husband was a Jekyll and Hyde. I saw the alcohol being drank while I was showering in the morning....	Lovejailed	9	714	May 26, 2015 by Fairlee
	I finally took that scary step! (Preview) I finally did it after a belligerent night last night (first one in years believe it or not) I stuck to my commitment and this morning told him he couldn't stay here anymore. It kind of just blurted out of my mouth after his apology him saying we need to talk. I wasn't angry or resentful I calmly explaine...	Holly09	8	711	May 26, 2015 by Jen61
	Could this be (Preview) I left this forum for a few weeks....right when things were getting crazy and AH was falling back into his old ways after 90 days of outpatient rehab. Well, about a week and a half ago, something happened....he went on a golfing trip with his buddies, got wasted of course. But the next day, something c...	Butterfly0516	4	532	May 26, 2015 by glad
	Saw the kids (Preview) And OMGOSH .. LOL .. it almost got ugly this town is not big enough we almost wound up at the same place for lunch. He thought it was a good idea to take them to a "bar" it's actually the local pool hall. My son plays there on Saturday's. I have no idea what possessed him that was a good idea .. the...	SerenityRUS	0	493	May 25, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Happy Monday (Preview) Wow. So I continued having a crisis about my uni classes not being at times I could do without leaving my daughter all alone but I decided to just keep on next-right-thinging it (and that means study for exams right now) and trust that my HP had something better in mind. I'm getting better and better at do...	missmeliss	3	474	May 25, 2015 by Saucy
	born into alcoholism! (Preview) Im a grateful member of alanon and Ive recently came to another realisation. learning that ive been affected by alcoholism has allowed me to look at the symptoms within myself. The anger, resentment, controlling, manipulating, victim, martyr type symptoms. Ive been thinking about when this sta...	el-cee	5	551	May 25, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	C2C 5-25 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 25th speaks about the destructive tool of" denying" reality and goes on to point out that denial is a symptom of the effects of alcoholism. Alcoholics often denied their drinking problems and many of us who have been affected by this disease,also deny our proble...	hotrod	0	456	May 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Sobriety for two weeks was not what I had expected... (Preview) why do I have to learn the hard way? Ugh! Stubborness runs deep in this Texas girl! My AH once again suffered a physical ailment due to his drinking and had yet another doctor tell him he needed to stop drinking. He didn't share this with me until 3 weeks after it happened. Whatever. So he started off good...	Fairlee	12	802	May 24, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	Took your advice! (Preview) Well, I took your advice, friends, and I went to a Face to Face meeting. I have been home a few hours from it, and am still amazed at one little thing that was said, that struck me deeply. It was a super small meeting, because I live in a pretty small community, but I heard something I just have to share: We we...	Saucy	6	629	May 24, 2015 by hopefull2015
	Complacency - One to Grow On (Preview) I was thinking this morning how resistant I can be to try trying new things. I tend to champion myself as a risk taker but I'm not. I'm very selective in what I explore. It's a form of laziness, closed mindedness and judgementalism. In an Alanon meeting that I attend, we pass a sign up calendar. Membe...	tiredtonite	3	858	May 24, 2015 by maryjane
	Dating recovering alcoholic (Preview) With much hesitation I dated a recovering alcoholic for the past 4.5 years. It was initially a bumpy ride and has intermittently been that way for the past couple years. He will engage in behaviors that start arguments such as saying provocative things to me, being extremely irritable etc. I had br...	Abs0412	14	897	May 24, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	ODAT reading 5-24 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May 24 th talks about the Steps. In the beginning, the reading focuses on the First Step and how it is most important, to finally admit that we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism . It goes on to state that because of the confusion arising from these efforts, and this helpl...	hotrod	1	461	May 24, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 5-23 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 23rd speaks about perfectionism. It points out that sometimes the healthiest thing we can do for ourselves is to admit that we are not perfect, are human and can make mistakes. The reading acknowledges that although we can sometimes admit this to ourselves, admitting it to ot...	hotrod	4	531	May 24, 2015 by hotrod
	New to this, now what (Preview) ok, I'm new to this idea of a support group, but here I go... Nobody in my family has ever been an alcohoholic and most are only social drinkers as am I. However, my friend is. We were married long time ago and have always been friends, and he did drink way back then but nothing enough to be considered that he...	Maggiesmom	16	820	May 24, 2015 by Saucy
	Sorry, I seem to have forgotten where I put my buttons.... (Preview) I don't know if I should be so amused but I am now. As I have moaned about many times lately, daughter's father is being a real nuisance recently and quite abusive and aggressive. Daughter is at an age where she doesn't really want to go to his house so often, she has other things going on in her life, I don't...	missmeliss	13	722	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	I left (Preview) I left my AH tonight. I told him no more and he didn't believe me. It turned into a huge awful mess in front of my children. He scared my children, terrified them. He called my phone 20-30 times and kept saying the same thing over and over. He said I'm retarded and really messed up. I could smell the alcohol...	runningwife	18	749	May 23, 2015 by stillhangingon
	Guilt (Preview) I am feeling very guilty about going back to work and leaving my son home a lot more in the future. He is 16.5 but he has been my sidekick all these years as I homeschooled him, etc. It will be a significant change for all of us and my XAH is making things more difficult because he's so emotional and caught u...	andromeda	12	624	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
	need some input (Preview) My daughter's boyfriend got into a bad argument with his father and is now living with us.He isn't working ,doesn't help much around the house and basically plays video games all the time.My daughter works and goes to college.I am also going to school and I am in the middle of a big remodel.I told my dau...	mjferg	13	567	May 23, 2015 by Saucy
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