Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

almostThere · almostThere

All my and my AW's friends are A's. Much of my AW's family are A's. I unceremoniously dropped the whole gang about 6 months ago. No lecture, no speech, no big blow-up that THEY saw, (at home is a different story). There are only a few family members who's disease has had a negative effect on my life, and...

almostThere · almostThere

Found myself running the "best of" tape again just now. All of the greatest absurd arguments and unfounded accusations that my A has made, and not just my A - as far back as I can remember, being accused of something I didn't do, or being blamed for something I had no part in has made me very ang...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

I was hurt really badly several years ago now and have serious complications including chronic pain (yes I take medis and no I never abuse them). I found that reaching out to help someone or something else made me feel better so I wanted to share with others. i was concentrating only on me and the pain (B...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

So I started a thread yesterday about seizures and asking if people had experienced that kind of thing with their alcoholics. I can honestly say that I am not interested in these ideas as a way of staying fixated on my ex (thanks, pinkchip, you are always very wise and discerning!). I am in academia as...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today, June 6 speaks about our own unacceptable behavior. It points out the many times we excuse ourselves by claiming that we provoked or had no other choice for it wass someone else's fault. We also use the excuse that everybody does it--. So it's no big deal. This is called justif...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I had some cruddy news yesterday. I had to have a minor surgery and I was a bit worried but also a little bit excited thinking it would be great to have this issue corrected at last as it has caused me a lot of angst for years now. Anyway the doctor was very concerned and gave me some very unexpected and unplea...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

My six year old son had some disturbing questions for me yesterday. He has recently been more keenly aware of the fights my ah and I have. He is also totally aware of how one-sided they are. "Mommy how come when you fight it's just daddy yelling at you and you just telling him okay and you're sorry a...

Erikap723 · Erikap723

Years ago, when some friends were trying to help me they took me to dinner with a friend of theirs who was a recovering A. I've never forgotten one thing she had said and that was, "The stage where he thinks he's in control of his drinking will be right before a major fall." Well apparently tha...

Shanny · Shanny

So I found out tonight that my AH has been seeing another woman and talking to other women as well. I know that I'm done, and don't want back into the relationship but man this is like a swift kick to the gut. When I found all this information I had a blown panic attack and confronted him about it, and he ackno...

lostsoulmate · lostsoulmate

I am confused with the recovery programs. I have been through the hell with my AH lying, stealing sleepless nights, detoxing, jail, etc. Once he enters the program I am pushed aside, told to come on visiting days write letters and find a good support group for myself. Once he enters the doors we are each...

TxTycoon45 · TxTycoon45

My A.W was the recipient of a DWI felony w/child under 15 in May 2012. Trial Sep 2012 received 5 years probation and 2 1/2 years with interlock. Well for 2 1/2 years she has manipulated the system to her favor, acts like the "model" probationer 2-3 days before appearing in front of P.O then alw...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Hi all, Hello and THANK YOU to everyone! I feel I already know many of your since I have been lurking for several weeks now. I have gotten so much inspiration and gained so much from the posts here and the member shares. This board has been a life saver for me since I found it. I am the wife of an AH, the child...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

I just got through reading a thread where someone (sorry, I forgot who) was talking about their alcoholic spouse having a grand mal -- I realize from the reading in context this was a withdrawal thing... My ex AW had very recently quit drinking when we met. When we'd be asleep in bed she would have cycle...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Does anybody know how ah is drinking at nite and can drive his car at 8am the next day to work? the device is very advanced and ultra sensitive.By the device, i mean the puffer interlock on his car that wont let him drive without passing his puff into it sober????

Mikhail · Mikhail

These two things seem to be the theme of my week and I'm struggling with moving past them but they seem to sit on my shoulders constantly whispering in my ear. My alcoholic father has been in the hospital after having been in a skilled nursing facility after a couple of falls at rehab. They're trying to fi...

Lainey · Lainey

I feel very stuck lately on a mistake I made. My husband and I have been house hunting for a very long time while we live in an apartment. We moved to a new area and are close to my son and his family. A house finally came up that would have worked out perfectly for us. When the time came to make an offer, the offe...

mjferg · mjferg

It feels so good to join the human race.I have been busy expanding my social network,making friends and enjoying life.I can invite friends in without the fear of being ashamed or worrying about what mood I will be walking into. A lot of my anxiety has gone away.I no longer live with a secret.I can do what...

Mak11 · Mak11

Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting the other night and will be continuing to do so. My fiance is the alcoholic in my life. It has always been an issue for me over the past 3 years, but I learned to ignore it as it was just easier. Now, since our engagement, I've realized I need the change. He wants kids,...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about the Third step. This Step calls for turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as" we understood Him." We need to know that the destructive power of another's alcoholism has truly effected our lives , and we need the benevolent influence of a pow...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH had an interesting thing happen last night at an AA meeting. He came home to tell me about it and seemed he knew his HP was working with him. He was on a break at the meeting when a guy came up to ask him for a light. My husband kind of recognized him and asked what he did for a living. He owns his own roofing c...

btrflykisses33 · btrflykisses33

Hey guys this is all new to me. I did not know there was a group out there for me for help!!!! I have now gone to 4 meetings and have been blessed by each ones. The only thing that is missing is my literature is there anyone that knows of any place I can get books I dont care if they are used or not to help me when Im h...

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

my AH finally got To a physical point. Not on me but the air conditioner and the door to my toy room.nhe broke his umbrella in the process. This was the first time I truly felt unsafe. I have read so much and understand this is just the next evolution of the disease. I asked for space with this. Of course he ha...

robinfl · robinfl

I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...

Truth · Truth

1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...

missmeliss · missmeliss

XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

In typing "serenity" today I made a typo and typed "serentity" instead. After I looked at it a monet I thought of the long discussions many of us have had lately about Higher Power -- "What is it? Do I have to have one to recover" "What if I don't believe in God?&qu...

Fairlee · Fairlee

beware! I'm frustrated...don't say I didn't warn you. I've been minding my own business. I have not discussed alcohol or drinking with my AH since he started full-blown, all day-everyday drinking again. (Last month he actually stayed sober for a week and a half after his blood pressure went crazy h...

Jozie · Jozie

I Love that i Can Learn new things here, and Adjust my Attitude along with my Actions, but I Still have Days I am Like Speaking to a Brick Wall... I have a Very Dear Al-Anon Friend that I Feel a Broke a boundry with, and She God Love her, is Only Worried about my Feeling in it all... I am a Gifter... :/ If I Am Out a...

Bon · Bon

I've become the scapegoat for my SO's family. I know that their faults with me are ridiculous, e.g. I did not offer to drive them to visit SO even though they did not pick up the phone when I called to talk about the visit. I am trying to disengage but it's hard to do because I can't avoid them, at least no...

jamky · jamky

My wife is in rehab now and Im trying to gather my thoughts into something cohesive but I don't know if it is too harsh, please give me some feedback " A glimpse from the other side of the mirror I've heard so much about concerns about family and friends rejecting many of you. I know you need to focu...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 3 speaks about how easy it is to react to the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It appears that alcoholic uses arguments to provokes others in order to distract them from focusing on the real issue of drinking. We who live with the disease gets so caught up in the argume...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how many of us, before working the program, not only lived with a roller coaster ride of chaos but were addicted to it. I don't think I really understood that in some way I was seeking chaos out until I started to experience life without it on a daily basi...

Shanny · Shanny

Hi everyone, so to begin I have been married for the past 16 years, and we have 5 children, I finally worked up enough courage and 6 weeks ago I left my AH who has addictions to marijauna and alcohol. It has been so extremely hard and I constantly second guess myself whether or not I have made the right decis...

robinfl · robinfl

I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again. I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brought her to my house with a one year old daughter to help her "get well" because she was exhausted and in an abusive relationship. On the trip home I found ou...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon addresses resentment in a way that is particularly meaningful to me and my journey of recovery. The text acknowledges the we hear of the warnings about holding resentment many times while reading AlAnon literature. If I find myself struggling with resent...

glad · glad

I look back at all those long drawn out conversations where I was trying so hard to engage the alcoholic... most of the time I knew nothing was getting through and sometimes I would get angry and " act a fool" get so frustrated I would throw something at the wall or break something or find m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As usual lately I have been short on time getting on this site. I guess I don't really prioritize this anymore. I do miss communicating w/ all of you though. I am not doing much of anything differently. I still am trying not to engage when it comes to my AH. He is still sober but sometimes he acts like a dry dr...

Truth · Truth

Okay so here it goes ... I think I am finally ready to share the voice in my head and it feels like my last internal struggle with my ex-A. I am sharing this hoping to get some feedback so I can move through this because I don't know what is mine and what was his. I still feel emotionally enmeshed on this and wou...

scoob09 · scoob09

Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...

Vanity · Vanity

Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...

phinatic514 · phinatic514

Hi all, I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...

Nouvelle · Nouvelle

AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...

Freetime · Freetime

I learned again today that I am powerless over alcohol. My AH has many health problems, at least in part as a result of long term alcohol abuse, and is in a care facility. He has limited mobility, cannot drive, is mostly incontinent, and spends most of his time in bed. His cognitive functions are not a...

Billie · Billie

i finally attended my first meeting this week. It took me so,long to get there, and I am glad I went. My husband did react - not verbally but I could tell he wasn't happy. I think this is why it took me a while, because I was worried what he might do. Not that I went any further than that in my head - I just knew he w...

fuzzywho · fuzzywho

This is my first post here. My AH husband was sober for eight months. Since last weekend he has started drinking again. I was surprised at how fast he fell into his old pattern of consuming so much that he passes out. Of course he said that he was going to drink a few beers a day and not drink as many as bef...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 1 speaks about Expectations. It points out that having expectations does lead,oftentimes to premeditated resentments. Just recently, on this Board, we were talking about expectations and resentments and this page goes on to explain the concept a bit further. The read...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

a night of feeling powerless. so many things happening and changing right now that are out of my control. my ex ringing my phone off (from out of town) still in the same patterns .. know nothing can change if nothing has changed .. the disease is scanless ... he's been calling saying he's changed has bee...

scoob09 · scoob09

My adult son, he is 18, is downstairs with his friends drinking, they woke me up at 2am with The noise, he wont go, im upset and crying, i go to al anon face to face but i have not heard of people who its their children, also al anon dont give advice. I got no support in dealing with thisfrom family, my older...

mjferg · mjferg

After having loved someone who wasn't capable of loving back and going through the painful period of letting go,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.The things I was afraid of were only fears I created in my own mind.This new life is exciting and challenging.I was afraid of being alone an...

monameows · monameows

I haven't been to a face to face meeting yet, but plan to, and actually have a friend who offered to go with me which is awesome. I am so far at the end of my rope with my husband's drinking that I'm barely holding on, and am literally dreaming of the new life I may make for myself and our children (although in m...

Truth · Truth

I was reading today about acceptance. It said neither unconditional forgiveness or resentment were acceptance. It also said that forgiveness granted without being earned is not acceptance. I have been going around and around on this issue for so long. I finally got my mistake. I have always though...

almostThere · almostThere

I find myself often leafing through the catalogs of rotten things that my A has said or done - be they large or small - that were clearly indefensible from a rational standpoint and that would compel a healthy person to offer an apology either from the desire to be polite or sincere remorse. Like th...

el-cee · el-cee

Expectations are premeditated resentments!!!! I think thats right. I think back to all the high expectations i had for my ex ah. They just set me up for disappointment every time. My expectations of him were insane. He was never able to live up to them. How could he? His disease wouldnt let him, the pul...

TomMc · TomMc

I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality. Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unempl...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I am at a lost of where this is headed. My AH hears in his meetings from men who have lost their wives because of alcohol, men who swear that there is no wife good enough to truly want to stay. ..so they are bascially telling my AH that he is going to lose me regardless of what he does. I am frustrated with this...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I magically returned here a few weeks back after being gone for 5 years give/take. When I was here before, I was so beaten, crazy and bruised. You all cared for me, shared with me and helped me level out to the point where I was able to go out in my community and find F2F meetings. I will be forever grate...

Koko · Koko

my ah has been sober for over two years. I moved out and he got sober and started the program. 90 meetings in 90 days... But no sponsor and no steps. Once again we are in marriage counseling and I try to see hope. So I open up about fears and hurts in an effort to resolve and try to help us get closer. Yeste...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	If you can't lick 'em... (Preview) All my and my AW's friends are A's. Much of my AW's family are A's. I unceremoniously dropped the whole gang about 6 months ago. No lecture, no speech, no big blow-up that THEY saw, (at home is a different story). There are only a few family members who's disease has had a negative effect on my life, and...	almostThere	15	891	Jun 6, 2015 by Saucy
	The injustice of it all! (Preview) Found myself running the "best of" tape again just now. All of the greatest absurd arguments and unfounded accusations that my A has made, and not just my A - as far back as I can remember, being accused of something I didn't do, or being blamed for something I had no part in has made me very ang...	almostThere	5	795	Jun 6, 2015 by almostThere
	"Animals" as a resource (Preview) I was hurt really badly several years ago now and have serious complications including chronic pain (yes I take medis and no I never abuse them). I found that reaching out to help someone or something else made me feel better so I wanted to share with others. i was concentrating only on me and the pain (B...	Doingmybest	2	712	Jun 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Questions about co-morbidity...feedback appreciated! :-) (Preview) So I started a thread yesterday about seizures and asking if people had experienced that kind of thing with their alcoholics. I can honestly say that I am not interested in these ideas as a way of staying fixated on my ex (thanks, pinkchip, you are always very wise and discerning!). I am in academia as...	SpookyMulder	10	804	Jun 6, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	C2C 6-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for today, June 6 speaks about our own unacceptable behavior. It points out the many times we excuse ourselves by claiming that we provoked or had no other choice for it wass someone else's fault. We also use the excuse that everybody does it--. So it's no big deal. This is called justif...	hotrod	1	661	Jun 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Time to make lemonade. (Preview) I had some cruddy news yesterday. I had to have a minor surgery and I was a bit worried but also a little bit excited thinking it would be great to have this issue corrected at last as it has caused me a lot of angst for years now. Anyway the doctor was very concerned and gave me some very unexpected and unplea...	missmeliss	4	857	Jun 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Not my baby... (Preview) My six year old son had some disturbing questions for me yesterday. He has recently been more keenly aware of the fights my ah and I have. He is also totally aware of how one-sided they are. "Mommy how come when you fight it's just daddy yelling at you and you just telling him okay and you're sorry a...	PennyJenny010115	4	744	Jun 6, 2015 by el-cee
	Now he "can control it" (Preview) Years ago, when some friends were trying to help me they took me to dinner with a friend of theirs who was a recovering A. I've never forgotten one thing she had said and that was, "The stage where he thinks he's in control of his drinking will be right before a major fall." Well apparently tha...	Erikap723	3	740	Jun 6, 2015 by hotrod
	When does the heartbreak stop (Preview) So I found out tonight that my AH has been seeing another woman and talking to other women as well. I know that I'm done, and don't want back into the relationship but man this is like a swift kick to the gut. When I found all this information I had a blown panic attack and confronted him about it, and he ackno...	Shanny	16	969	Jun 5, 2015 by Mirandac
	so confused where I stand (Preview) I am confused with the recovery programs. I have been through the hell with my AH lying, stealing sleepless nights, detoxing, jail, etc. Once he enters the program I am pushed aside, told to come on visiting days write letters and find a good support group for myself. Once he enters the doors we are each...	lostsoulmate	6	702	Jun 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Banging head against a wall... (Preview) My A.W was the recipient of a DWI felony w/child under 15 in May 2012. Trial Sep 2012 received 5 years probation and 2 1/2 years with interlock. Well for 2 1/2 years she has manipulated the system to her favor, acts like the "model" probationer 2-3 days before appearing in front of P.O then alw...	TxTycoon45	5	598	Jun 5, 2015 by Dave2554
	New member - lurking for about a month et (Preview) Hi all, Hello and THANK YOU to everyone! I feel I already know many of your since I have been lurking for several weeks now. I have gotten so much inspiration and gained so much from the posts here and the member shares. This board has been a life saver for me since I found it. I am the wife of an AH, the child...	Doingmybest	13	867	Jun 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	SEIZURES AND ALCOHOLISM - NEED ANSWERS, PLEASE (Preview) I just got through reading a thread where someone (sorry, I forgot who) was talking about their alcoholic spouse having a grand mal -- I realize from the reading in context this was a withdrawal thing... My ex AW had very recently quit drinking when we met. When we'd be asleep in bed she would have cycle...	SpookyMulder	12	4373	Jun 5, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	beating interlock device? (Preview) Does anybody know how ah is drinking at nite and can drive his car at 8am the next day to work? the device is very advanced and ultra sensitive.By the device, i mean the puffer interlock on his car that wont let him drive without passing his puff into it sober????	YARNCRAZY	5	980	Jun 5, 2015 by almostThere
	Second Guessing and Fixing Everything (Preview) These two things seem to be the theme of my week and I'm struggling with moving past them but they seem to sit on my shoulders constantly whispering in my ear. My alcoholic father has been in the hospital after having been in a skilled nursing facility after a couple of falls at rehab. They're trying to fi...	Mikhail	5	741	Jun 5, 2015 by Lainey
	Mistakes (Preview) I feel very stuck lately on a mistake I made. My husband and I have been house hunting for a very long time while we live in an apartment. We moved to a new area and are close to my son and his family. A house finally came up that would have worked out perfectly for us. When the time came to make an offer, the offe...	Lainey	9	779	Jun 5, 2015 by Lainey
	no secrets (Preview) It feels so good to join the human race.I have been busy expanding my social network,making friends and enjoying life.I can invite friends in without the fear of being ashamed or worrying about what mood I will be walking into. A lot of my anxiety has gone away.I no longer live with a secret.I can do what...	mjferg	12	890	Jun 5, 2015 by almostThere
	new here (Preview) Hi, I went to my first al-anon meeting the other night and will be continuing to do so. My fiance is the alcoholic in my life. It has always been an issue for me over the past 3 years, but I learned to ignore it as it was just easier. Now, since our engagement, I've realized I need the change. He wants kids,...	Mak11	8	640	Jun 5, 2015 by Jazzie18
	C2C 6-5 (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about the Third step. This Step calls for turning our will and our lives over to the care of God as" we understood Him." We need to know that the destructive power of another's alcoholism has truly effected our lives , and we need the benevolent influence of a pow...	hotrod	2	669	Jun 5, 2015 by almostThere
	Sign of a HP at work (Preview) My AH had an interesting thing happen last night at an AA meeting. He came home to tell me about it and seemed he knew his HP was working with him. He was on a break at the meeting when a guy came up to ask him for a light. My husband kind of recognized him and asked what he did for a living. He owns his own roofing c...	Jazzie18	3	643	Jun 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	literature (Preview) Hey guys this is all new to me. I did not know there was a group out there for me for help!!!! I have now gone to 4 meetings and have been blessed by each ones. The only thing that is missing is my literature is there anyone that knows of any place I can get books I dont care if they are used or not to help me when Im h...	btrflykisses33	7	543	Jun 5, 2015 by Breakingfree
	I have asked for space finally! (Preview) my AH finally got To a physical point. Not on me but the air conditioner and the door to my toy room.nhe broke his umbrella in the process. This was the first time I truly felt unsafe. I have read so much and understand this is just the next evolution of the disease. I asked for space with this. Of course he ha...	Lovejailed	6	670	Jun 5, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Daughter Stole Pain Pill should I confront? (Preview) I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...	robinfl	2	749	Jun 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	So integration begins... (Preview) 1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...	Truth	8	805	Jun 4, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C reading 6-4 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...	hotrod	7	733	Jun 4, 2015 by Enigmatic
	AH going to AA meetings but still drinking (Preview) I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...	Jazzie18	9	670	Jun 4, 2015 by Mike B
	Sticking to the facts. (Preview) XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...	missmeliss	12	1898	Jun 3, 2015 by a4l
	SERENTITY... (Preview) In typing "serenity" today I made a typo and typed "serentity" instead. After I looked at it a monet I thought of the long discussions many of us have had lately about Higher Power -- "What is it? Do I have to have one to recover" "What if I don't believe in God?&qu...	SpookyMulder	6	599	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	I can't deal with the ridiculousness of this! (Preview) beware! I'm frustrated...don't say I didn't warn you. I've been minding my own business. I have not discussed alcohol or drinking with my AH since he started full-blown, all day-everyday drinking again. (Last month he actually stayed sober for a week and a half after his blood pressure went crazy h...	Fairlee	10	837	Jun 3, 2015 by stillhangingon
	Al-Anon Schooled :/ (Preview) I Love that i Can Learn new things here, and Adjust my Attitude along with my Actions, but I Still have Days I am Like Speaking to a Brick Wall... I have a Very Dear Al-Anon Friend that I Feel a Broke a boundry with, and She God Love her, is Only Worried about my Feeling in it all... I am a Gifter... :/ If I Am Out a...	Jozie	1	589	Jun 3, 2015 by hotrod
	How to NOT respond to foolishness (Preview) I've become the scapegoat for my SO's family. I know that their faults with me are ridiculous, e.g. I did not offer to drive them to visit SO even though they did not pick up the phone when I called to talk about the visit. I am trying to disengage but it's hard to do because I can't avoid them, at least no...	Bon	23	856	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	My thoughts in words (Preview) My wife is in rehab now and Im trying to gather my thoughts into something cohesive but I don't know if it is too harsh, please give me some feedback " A glimpse from the other side of the mirror I've heard so much about concerns about family and friends rejecting many of you. I know you need to focu...	jamky	13	827	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 6-3 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 3 speaks about how easy it is to react to the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It appears that alcoholic uses arguments to provokes others in order to distract them from focusing on the real issue of drinking. We who live with the disease gets so caught up in the argume...	hotrod	1	677	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 2 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how many of us, before working the program, not only lived with a roller coaster ride of chaos but were addicted to it. I don't think I really understood that in some way I was seeking chaos out until I started to experience life without it on a daily basi...	yanksfan51	5	620	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	hi new here and feeling hopeful and scared (Preview) Hi everyone, so to begin I have been married for the past 16 years, and we have 5 children, I finally worked up enough courage and 6 weeks ago I left my AH who has addictions to marijauna and alcohol. It has been so extremely hard and I constantly second guess myself whether or not I have made the right decis...	Shanny	8	662	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	New problem: daughter having withdrawals (Preview) I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again. I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brought her to my house with a one year old daughter to help her "get well" because she was exhausted and in an abusive relationship. On the trip home I found ou...	robinfl	2	485	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT in Alanon 6-2 Resentment (Preview) Today's page in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon addresses resentment in a way that is particularly meaningful to me and my journey of recovery. The text acknowledges the we hear of the warnings about holding resentment many times while reading AlAnon literature. If I find myself struggling with resent...	Enigmatic	5	1292	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	Just saying... (Preview) I look back at all those long drawn out conversations where I was trying so hard to engage the alcoholic... most of the time I knew nothing was getting through and sometimes I would get angry and " act a fool" get so frustrated I would throw something at the wall or break something or find m...	glad	6	650	Jun 2, 2015 by Fairlee
	it has been a looong time. (Preview) As usual lately I have been short on time getting on this site. I guess I don't really prioritize this anymore. I do miss communicating w/ all of you though. I am not doing much of anything differently. I still am trying not to engage when it comes to my AH. He is still sober but sometimes he acts like a dry dr...	Hoot Nanny	2	489	Jun 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Voice in my head... (Preview) Okay so here it goes ... I think I am finally ready to share the voice in my head and it feels like my last internal struggle with my ex-A. I am sharing this hoping to get some feedback so I can move through this because I don't know what is mine and what was his. I still feel emotionally enmeshed on this and wou...	Truth	35	726	Jun 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	I have asked them to leave many times/ how to make them leave? (Preview) Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...	scoob09	7	816	Jun 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	Scared and confused... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...	Vanity	5	609	Jun 2, 2015 by glad
	Not sure how to feel. (Preview) Hi all, I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...	phinatic514	15	1112	Jun 2, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Brand New here - AH in Rehab for 4 days... what to expect? marijuana alcohol cheating anger rehab (Preview) AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...	Nouvelle	4	10122	Jun 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Some stuff I thought about giving advice. (Preview) There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...	missmeliss	19	945	Jun 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	I am powerless over alcohol (Preview) I learned again today that I am powerless over alcohol. My AH has many health problems, at least in part as a result of long term alcohol abuse, and is in a care facility. He has limited mobility, cannot drive, is mostly incontinent, and spends most of his time in bed. His cognitive functions are not a...	Freetime	5	2590	Jun 2, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Finally attended an Al Anon meeting (Preview) i finally attended my first meeting this week. It took me so,long to get there, and I am glad I went. My husband did react - not verbally but I could tell he wasn't happy. I think this is why it took me a while, because I was worried what he might do. Not that I went any further than that in my head - I just knew he w...	Billie	10	640	Jun 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	AH started drinking again (Preview) This is my first post here. My AH husband was sober for eight months. Since last weekend he has started drinking again. I was surprised at how fast he fell into his old pattern of consuming so much that he passes out. Of course he said that he was going to drink a few beers a day and not drink as many as bef...	fuzzywho	11	883	Jun 1, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C 6-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 1 speaks about Expectations. It points out that having expectations does lead,oftentimes to premeditated resentments. Just recently, on this Board, we were talking about expectations and resentments and this page goes on to explain the concept a bit further. The read...	hotrod	7	595	Jun 1, 2015 by Enigmatic
	depressed and feeling the effects (Preview) a night of feeling powerless. so many things happening and changing right now that are out of my control. my ex ringing my phone off (from out of town) still in the same patterns .. know nothing can change if nothing has changed .. the disease is scanless ... he's been calling saying he's changed has bee...	MeTwo2	6	638	Jun 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	adult son and friends (Preview) My adult son, he is 18, is downstairs with his friends drinking, they woke me up at 2am with The noise, he wont go, im upset and crying, i go to al anon face to face but i have not heard of people who its their children, also al anon dont give advice. I got no support in dealing with thisfrom family, my older...	scoob09	23	852	Jun 1, 2015 by scoob09
	The Blessings of Change (Preview) After having loved someone who wasn't capable of loving back and going through the painful period of letting go,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.The things I was afraid of were only fears I created in my own mind.This new life is exciting and challenging.I was afraid of being alone an...	mjferg	8	564	Jun 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Is it a lie, or am I crazy? I always assume I'm crazy. (Preview) I haven't been to a face to face meeting yet, but plan to, and actually have a friend who offered to go with me which is awesome. I am so far at the end of my rope with my husband's drinking that I'm barely holding on, and am literally dreaming of the new life I may make for myself and our children (although in m...	monameows	17	809	Jun 1, 2015 by Jozie
	Acceptance (Preview) I was reading today about acceptance. It said neither unconditional forgiveness or resentment were acceptance. It also said that forgiveness granted without being earned is not acceptance. I have been going around and around on this issue for so long. I finally got my mistake. I have always though...	Truth	20	667	Jun 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	No Apologies (Preview) I find myself often leafing through the catalogs of rotten things that my A has said or done - be they large or small - that were clearly indefensible from a rational standpoint and that would compel a healthy person to offer an apology either from the desire to be polite or sincere remorse. Like th...	almostThere	10	744	May 31, 2015 by almostThere
	what do you expect from your alcoholic? (Preview) Expectations are premeditated resentments!!!! I think thats right. I think back to all the high expectations i had for my ex ah. They just set me up for disappointment every time. My expectations of him were insane. He was never able to live up to them. How could he? His disease wouldnt let him, the pul...	el-cee	9	692	May 31, 2015 by almostThere
	Raising the child of an alcoholic child (Preview) I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality. Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unempl...	TomMc	2	547	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Can a marriage last? (Preview) I am at a lost of where this is headed. My AH hears in his meetings from men who have lost their wives because of alcohol, men who swear that there is no wife good enough to truly want to stay. ..so they are bascially telling my AH that he is going to lose me regardless of what he does. I am frustrated with this...	EarlyBird	2	601	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just a Huge Thank You..... (Preview) So - I magically returned here a few weeks back after being gone for 5 years give/take. When I was here before, I was so beaten, crazy and bruised. You all cared for me, shared with me and helped me level out to the point where I was able to go out in my community and find F2F meetings. I will be forever grate...	Iamhere	3	540	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Mind Games of a Dry Drunk (Preview) my ah has been sober for over two years. I moved out and he got sober and started the program. 90 meetings in 90 days... But no sponsor and no steps. Once again we are in marriage counseling and I try to see hope. So I open up about fears and hurts in an effort to resolve and try to help us get closer. Yeste...	Koko	15	1098	May 31, 2015 by SpookyMulder
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.