Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

scoob09 · scoob09

Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...

Vanity · Vanity

Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...

phinatic514 · phinatic514

Hi all, I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...

Nouvelle · Nouvelle

AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...

Freetime · Freetime

I learned again today that I am powerless over alcohol. My AH has many health problems, at least in part as a result of long term alcohol abuse, and is in a care facility. He has limited mobility, cannot drive, is mostly incontinent, and spends most of his time in bed. His cognitive functions are not a...

Billie · Billie

i finally attended my first meeting this week. It took me so,long to get there, and I am glad I went. My husband did react - not verbally but I could tell he wasn't happy. I think this is why it took me a while, because I was worried what he might do. Not that I went any further than that in my head - I just knew he w...

fuzzywho · fuzzywho

This is my first post here. My AH husband was sober for eight months. Since last weekend he has started drinking again. I was surprised at how fast he fell into his old pattern of consuming so much that he passes out. Of course he said that he was going to drink a few beers a day and not drink as many as bef...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 1 speaks about Expectations. It points out that having expectations does lead,oftentimes to premeditated resentments. Just recently, on this Board, we were talking about expectations and resentments and this page goes on to explain the concept a bit further. The read...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

a night of feeling powerless. so many things happening and changing right now that are out of my control. my ex ringing my phone off (from out of town) still in the same patterns .. know nothing can change if nothing has changed .. the disease is scanless ... he's been calling saying he's changed has bee...

scoob09 · scoob09

My adult son, he is 18, is downstairs with his friends drinking, they woke me up at 2am with The noise, he wont go, im upset and crying, i go to al anon face to face but i have not heard of people who its their children, also al anon dont give advice. I got no support in dealing with thisfrom family, my older...

mjferg · mjferg

After having loved someone who wasn't capable of loving back and going through the painful period of letting go,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.The things I was afraid of were only fears I created in my own mind.This new life is exciting and challenging.I was afraid of being alone an...

monameows · monameows

I haven't been to a face to face meeting yet, but plan to, and actually have a friend who offered to go with me which is awesome. I am so far at the end of my rope with my husband's drinking that I'm barely holding on, and am literally dreaming of the new life I may make for myself and our children (although in m...

Truth · Truth

I was reading today about acceptance. It said neither unconditional forgiveness or resentment were acceptance. It also said that forgiveness granted without being earned is not acceptance. I have been going around and around on this issue for so long. I finally got my mistake. I have always though...

almostThere · almostThere

I find myself often leafing through the catalogs of rotten things that my A has said or done - be they large or small - that were clearly indefensible from a rational standpoint and that would compel a healthy person to offer an apology either from the desire to be polite or sincere remorse. Like th...

el-cee · el-cee

Expectations are premeditated resentments!!!! I think thats right. I think back to all the high expectations i had for my ex ah. They just set me up for disappointment every time. My expectations of him were insane. He was never able to live up to them. How could he? His disease wouldnt let him, the pul...

TomMc · TomMc

I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality. Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unempl...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I am at a lost of where this is headed. My AH hears in his meetings from men who have lost their wives because of alcohol, men who swear that there is no wife good enough to truly want to stay. ..so they are bascially telling my AH that he is going to lose me regardless of what he does. I am frustrated with this...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I magically returned here a few weeks back after being gone for 5 years give/take. When I was here before, I was so beaten, crazy and bruised. You all cared for me, shared with me and helped me level out to the point where I was able to go out in my community and find F2F meetings. I will be forever grate...

Koko · Koko

my ah has been sober for over two years. I moved out and he got sober and started the program. 90 meetings in 90 days... But no sponsor and no steps. Once again we are in marriage counseling and I try to see hope. So I open up about fears and hurts in an effort to resolve and try to help us get closer. Yeste...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I Am having trouble transitioning. I need to get out of my home to get a rental. I have been looking very hard, i found one finally. It is higher than i want but it is more what i am use to. Its actually a small house in an apt. Its 1,000 sq feet with nice cabinets, appliances etc. hope to start moving small s...

hotrod · hotrod

The May 31 reading in the C2 C speaks about embarking on a spiritual journey when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon. It suggests that many stories have been written about a hero who takes a spiritual journey where he must face great challenges before gaining a treasure at the end. It goes on to suggest tha...

almostThere · almostThere

I want to apologize to people of the Christian faith that may understandably take offence if they stumble upon some of my posts. It has taken a long time for me to digest that what I experienced was abuse in the guise of Christianity but in no way representative of the vast majority of people who practice...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Found the alc sob. His truck was at neighbors. Daughter and i were driving by to go for ice cream. I almost threw up and she started to cry when saw the truck. Less than a mile from our home. I went in the hose. . He was passed out in her(yes, another local drunk) couch. I woke him, he was all, "what, i just...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I am new to all of this. My husband finally agreed to get help with his drinking about a month ago, after he was arrested for public intoxication when he took my three young children to the library while plastered. I will forever be grateful to the bystander who call 911 when she saw him. A therapist I sa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Before I stumbled upon Alanon, there seemed to be no problem of mine, and especially others, that I could not fix. I still have brief bouts of shame and embarrassment as I recall the deluge of unsolicited and misdirected advice I constantly doled out to others, especially the A in my life. Reading dail...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection . The reading goes on to say that when we hear:...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Hi all. Needsome "been there done that " thoughts. I have not seen my alc husb since friday morning. Its now 6:00o saturday eve. He was with a buddy, i guess last night, if i believe him. This morning, not home. Had a text at ten saying where he was and hed be back soon. Ive been unable to reach him...

almostThere · almostThere

Just had a typical experience with my AW. Went to hear my son's band tonight. AW had her wine as usual. I had nothing as usual. Found out that my daughter's dorm assignment for this year at school seems to be in error which could cause some problems. I kept telling my daughter not to worry and that we w...

mjferg · mjferg

Lately I am feeling very overwhelmed.I just bought a new place and I am am in the middle of a total remodel,it is very stressful.I also have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I have come down with a very bad cold.I am pretty frustrated and tired right now.Right when I need to be at my best,I feel awful.I am pret...

ampere · ampere

I have a friend who has been sober for several years but has never sought treatment. He quit drinking on his own but is still very much grappling with many emotional issues, which he is in denial about. He is in a band with me, and the other member and I are finally ready to tell him we don't want him in the ban...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

As I have written in many posts, my AW left me a couple of months ago. Her main complaints at the time were that I hadn't accomplished any spiritual growth over the last several years, that I was shut down and didn't listen. As all of us have commented on numerous times, you can't rely on alcoholics to gi...

Truth · Truth

Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry y...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was asking me about the AlAnon program and it really got me to thinking. Now he believes his live in GF is an alcoholic and needs help and has tried relentlessly to get her to get help, yet what I find hard to come to terms with is that HE drinks to the point of drunk...

Linda R · Linda R

Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...

Raven_x · Raven_x

I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...

helpless mom · helpless mom

My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...

Breezy139 · Breezy139

I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...

Fairlee · Fairlee

so I have been trying to "self assess" when I find myself wanting to return to unhealthy behavior. It's been very interesting taking the focus off of why I'm angry, frustrated and looking at why I deal with it the way I do and what my true motive is. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is that I...

hotrod · hotrod

This, C2C reading for May 29th addresses the powerful emotion of "fear". It points out that fear is usually focused on the future, because we worry about what might happen and try to anticipate any disastrous outcome so that we would be prepared to protect ourselves. The reading goe...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I'm realizing I've never been taught how to deal with anger. We weren't really allowed to be angry growing up, as my father had the corner market on that. Our job was to ensure we never ever did anything to provoke anger, and when it occurs it was my job to defuse it. So here I am a kick in the pants from 40 an...

Jessie226 · Jessie226

Hi everyone. I'm not even sure where to begin. My twin sister is an alcoholic. I don't even remember a time when she wasn't some kind of addict, not since middle school. We are 34 years old now. She got pregnant at 18, and through her 20's her drinking got progressively worse. She lost everything, all of h...

misterpiko · misterpiko

First time posting and my last one didn't work, so I'm keeping this brief. My hubby was just sent home from his out of town job because he relapsed for the 4th time this year on crack. For his 3rd relapse, the boundary I set was that we'd separate, and this time it was that we'd separate physically as well. I...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everybody: Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Al-anon has taught me to put a water proof protectant on my feathers. Now when it rains and it will rain, I can still go about my life and enjoy each moment for the gift it is. When my exAH calls or texts while drunk which he does, I don't have to take it personally or answer and it doesn't have to effect my mood...

Skorpi · Skorpi

I have been struggling recently with the fact that today is my wife's last day of intensive outpatient therapy and that she is still drinking. I managed to get my hopes up and believe her when she said she wanted to be sober for treatment this time. Well... Yesterday I left work around 10 am as planned to...

hopefull2015 · hopefull2015

I posted on here months ago when I was feeling very alone and contemplating going to a Face to Face meeting. Firstly, Thank you to everyone who commented and encouraged me back in those dark days. It really meant a lot and I did start going to meetings! My husband is now away working following a period of u...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for today speaks about competing with others and constantly comparing . It points out that the only valid comparison is to compare myself to, who I am now to the person that I used to be. I love the slogan" Compare and Despair"as it reminds me of the quote from Malthie Babc...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well today was due to be my first day at my new uni. Daughter decided to develop the flu overnight and needed to stay at home today watching anime on the couch and sipping hot lemon and honey drinks. I can't say I was entirely upset by this as I have begun new classes whilst in the middle of exams and it's pre...

jen1234 · jen1234

Hello I'm new to the page and taking great comfort from your comments to each other. Just wondered if anyone had experienced pressure from their in laws to stay with their A? I have just left my AH for the 4th time as we have had another binge and I am detemined to make a life away from all the chaos to bring u...

MsRobot · MsRobot

I didn't have any idea how listening to others' experiences would bring so many memories and emotions to the surface. Wow! A good friend of mine called me. I told her that I found Al-Anon and how amazed and grateful I am that a group can be so inspiring and supportive. Than I told her that my ex-boy...

gabigail · gabigail

I had a great day yesterday with my A. I have leaned heavily on my HP lately which has me thinking things differently and not getting so defensive, etc. So when I got home from work yesterday, I was going to let go of all the hurt and bad tapes and past conversations my A and I have had and just have a nice con...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

So I sincerely don't want to offend anyone -- please hit the back button if this topic upsets you. Since my ex AW and I broke up there has been something that has been bothering me. I have made the realization that one of the reasons I am sad about losing this relationship is that the sexual aspect of the r...

Theruts · Theruts

I'm new to this message board and I'm in search of a nearby meeting for my wife and I to go to. I recognize that we are powerless over this and we need help. Our daughter is a recovering drug user and alcoholic. She is about 75 days into sobriety. She is on her first step. She is a young adult, age 19 and li...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Saucy · Saucy

Last night after my AH got home from his 3rd AA meeting, he came home and told me that one of his (heroin addicted) sons had called and begged for money to "feed his family". I told him that I had heard a powerful thing in my Al Anon meeting, about a man who got on his knees and prayed for his kids...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I have asked them to leave many times/ how to make them leave? (Preview) Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...	scoob09	7	711	Jun 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	Scared and confused... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...	Vanity	5	511	Jun 2, 2015 by glad
	Not sure how to feel. (Preview) Hi all, I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...	phinatic514	15	1001	Jun 2, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Brand New here - AH in Rehab for 4 days... what to expect? marijuana alcohol cheating anger rehab (Preview) AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...	Nouvelle	4	8620	Jun 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Some stuff I thought about giving advice. (Preview) There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...	missmeliss	19	850	Jun 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	I am powerless over alcohol (Preview) I learned again today that I am powerless over alcohol. My AH has many health problems, at least in part as a result of long term alcohol abuse, and is in a care facility. He has limited mobility, cannot drive, is mostly incontinent, and spends most of his time in bed. His cognitive functions are not a...	Freetime	5	2289	Jun 2, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Finally attended an Al Anon meeting (Preview) i finally attended my first meeting this week. It took me so,long to get there, and I am glad I went. My husband did react - not verbally but I could tell he wasn't happy. I think this is why it took me a while, because I was worried what he might do. Not that I went any further than that in my head - I just knew he w...	Billie	10	550	Jun 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	AH started drinking again (Preview) This is my first post here. My AH husband was sober for eight months. Since last weekend he has started drinking again. I was surprised at how fast he fell into his old pattern of consuming so much that he passes out. Of course he said that he was going to drink a few beers a day and not drink as many as bef...	fuzzywho	11	772	Jun 1, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C 6-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 1 speaks about Expectations. It points out that having expectations does lead,oftentimes to premeditated resentments. Just recently, on this Board, we were talking about expectations and resentments and this page goes on to explain the concept a bit further. The read...	hotrod	7	494	Jun 1, 2015 by Enigmatic
	depressed and feeling the effects (Preview) a night of feeling powerless. so many things happening and changing right now that are out of my control. my ex ringing my phone off (from out of town) still in the same patterns .. know nothing can change if nothing has changed .. the disease is scanless ... he's been calling saying he's changed has bee...	MeTwo2	6	539	Jun 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	adult son and friends (Preview) My adult son, he is 18, is downstairs with his friends drinking, they woke me up at 2am with The noise, he wont go, im upset and crying, i go to al anon face to face but i have not heard of people who its their children, also al anon dont give advice. I got no support in dealing with thisfrom family, my older...	scoob09	23	745	Jun 1, 2015 by scoob09
	The Blessings of Change (Preview) After having loved someone who wasn't capable of loving back and going through the painful period of letting go,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.The things I was afraid of were only fears I created in my own mind.This new life is exciting and challenging.I was afraid of being alone an...	mjferg	8	469	Jun 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Is it a lie, or am I crazy? I always assume I'm crazy. (Preview) I haven't been to a face to face meeting yet, but plan to, and actually have a friend who offered to go with me which is awesome. I am so far at the end of my rope with my husband's drinking that I'm barely holding on, and am literally dreaming of the new life I may make for myself and our children (although in m...	monameows	17	717	Jun 1, 2015 by Jozie
	Acceptance (Preview) I was reading today about acceptance. It said neither unconditional forgiveness or resentment were acceptance. It also said that forgiveness granted without being earned is not acceptance. I have been going around and around on this issue for so long. I finally got my mistake. I have always though...	Truth	20	579	Jun 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	No Apologies (Preview) I find myself often leafing through the catalogs of rotten things that my A has said or done - be they large or small - that were clearly indefensible from a rational standpoint and that would compel a healthy person to offer an apology either from the desire to be polite or sincere remorse. Like th...	almostThere	10	650	May 31, 2015 by almostThere
	what do you expect from your alcoholic? (Preview) Expectations are premeditated resentments!!!! I think thats right. I think back to all the high expectations i had for my ex ah. They just set me up for disappointment every time. My expectations of him were insane. He was never able to live up to them. How could he? His disease wouldnt let him, the pul...	el-cee	9	591	May 31, 2015 by almostThere
	Raising the child of an alcoholic child (Preview) I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality. Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unempl...	TomMc	2	435	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Can a marriage last? (Preview) I am at a lost of where this is headed. My AH hears in his meetings from men who have lost their wives because of alcohol, men who swear that there is no wife good enough to truly want to stay. ..so they are bascially telling my AH that he is going to lose me regardless of what he does. I am frustrated with this...	EarlyBird	2	493	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just a Huge Thank You..... (Preview) So - I magically returned here a few weeks back after being gone for 5 years give/take. When I was here before, I was so beaten, crazy and bruised. You all cared for me, shared with me and helped me level out to the point where I was able to go out in my community and find F2F meetings. I will be forever grate...	Iamhere	3	454	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Mind Games of a Dry Drunk (Preview) my ah has been sober for over two years. I moved out and he got sober and started the program. 90 meetings in 90 days... But no sponsor and no steps. Once again we are in marriage counseling and I try to see hope. So I open up about fears and hurts in an effort to resolve and try to help us get closer. Yeste...	Koko	15	957	May 31, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	Transitioning (Preview) I Am having trouble transitioning. I need to get out of my home to get a rental. I have been looking very hard, i found one finally. It is higher than i want but it is more what i am use to. Its actually a small house in an apt. Its 1,000 sq feet with nice cabinets, appliances etc. hope to start moving small s...	Mirandac	12	515	May 31, 2015 by Truth
	C2C 5-31 (Preview) The May 31 reading in the C2 C speaks about embarking on a spiritual journey when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon. It suggests that many stories have been written about a hero who takes a spiritual journey where he must face great challenges before gaining a treasure at the end. It goes on to suggest tha...	hotrod	2	386	May 31, 2015 by hotrod
	A quick apology to all... (Preview) I want to apologize to people of the Christian faith that may understandably take offence if they stumble upon some of my posts. It has taken a long time for me to digest that what I experienced was abuse in the guise of Christianity but in no way representative of the vast majority of people who practice...	almostThere	6	796	May 31, 2015 by el-cee
	update to help. . (Preview) Found the alc sob. His truck was at neighbors. Daughter and i were driving by to go for ice cream. I almost threw up and she started to cry when saw the truck. Less than a mile from our home. I went in the hose. . He was passed out in her(yes, another local drunk) couch. I woke him, he was all, "what, i just...	Theoceancalls	5	493	May 30, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	Finding time (Preview) I am new to all of this. My husband finally agreed to get help with his drinking about a month ago, after he was arrested for public intoxication when he took my three young children to the library while plastered. I will forever be grateful to the bystander who call 911 when she saw him. A therapist I sa...	EarlyBird	5	525	May 30, 2015 by Mattie
	ODAT 5-30 Minding Our Own Business (Preview) Before I stumbled upon Alanon, there seemed to be no problem of mine, and especially others, that I could not fix. I still have brief bouts of shame and embarrassment as I recall the deluge of unsolicited and misdirected advice I constantly doled out to others, especially the A in my life. Reading dail...	Enigmatic	4	1096	May 30, 2015 by andromeda
	C2C 5-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection . The reading goes on to say that when we hear:...	hotrod	3	452	May 30, 2015 by hotrod
	help for next time (Preview) Hi all. Needsome "been there done that " thoughts. I have not seen my alc husb since friday morning. Its now 6:00o saturday eve. He was with a buddy, i guess last night, if i believe him. This morning, not home. Had a text at ten saying where he was and hed be back soon. Ive been unable to reach him...	Theoceancalls	4	463	May 30, 2015 by hotrod
	didn't take the bait (Preview) Just had a typical experience with my AW. Went to hear my son's band tonight. AW had her wine as usual. I had nothing as usual. Found out that my daughter's dorm assignment for this year at school seems to be in error which could cause some problems. I kept telling my daughter not to worry and that we w...	almostThere	9	683	May 30, 2015 by almostThere
	overwhelmed (Preview) Lately I am feeling very overwhelmed.I just bought a new place and I am am in the middle of a total remodel,it is very stressful.I also have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I have come down with a very bad cold.I am pretty frustrated and tired right now.Right when I need to be at my best,I feel awful.I am pret...	mjferg	3	459	May 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	looking for advice on a friend who is a dry drunk (Preview) I have a friend who has been sober for several years but has never sought treatment. He quit drinking on his own but is still very much grappling with many emotional issues, which he is in denial about. He is in a band with me, and the other member and I are finally ready to tell him we don't want him in the ban...	ampere	3	500	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Leaving versus being left, asking for experiences... (Preview) As I have written in many posts, my AW left me a couple of months ago. Her main complaints at the time were that I hadn't accomplished any spiritual growth over the last several years, that I was shut down and didn't listen. As all of us have commented on numerous times, you can't rely on alcoholics to gi...	SpookyMulder	10	643	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Validated Myself (Preview) Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry y...	Truth	5	414	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Does attending AlAnon and drinking make one a hypocrit? To drink or not to drink that is the question. (Preview) I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was asking me about the AlAnon program and it really got me to thinking. Now he believes his live in GF is an alcoholic and needs help and has tried relentlessly to get her to get help, yet what I find hard to come to terms with is that HE drinks to the point of drunk...	shellyj123	19	1907	May 30, 2015 by Billie
	New to having an addicted significant other. Advice? (Preview) Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...	Linda R	8	557	May 30, 2015 by mjferg
	1.75 Liters in 4 days (Preview) I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...	Raven_x	22	6065	May 29, 2015 by Raven_x
	Reality and what I imagined were SO different! (Preview) So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...	Skorpi	6	591	May 29, 2015 by Irish7
	depression in alcoholics (Preview) My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...	helpless mom	5	636	May 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	Reflections of Progress.... (Preview) Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...	Jozie	5	492	May 29, 2015 by serenity47
	Here it comes again... (Preview) So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...	PennyJenny010115	15	861	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	I need a push and I'm stubborn as hell. ( 1 2 ) newbie religion higher power loneliness anger first meeting (Preview) Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...	almostThere	67	18853	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	First post, feeling so lost and confused (Preview) I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...	Breezy139	5	482	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	My biggest problem (Preview) so I have been trying to "self assess" when I find myself wanting to return to unhealthy behavior. It's been very interesting taking the focus off of why I'm angry, frustrated and looking at why I deal with it the way I do and what my true motive is. I'm finding that my biggest struggle is that I...	Fairlee	8	738	May 29, 2015 by glad
	C2C reading 5-29 (Preview) This, C2C reading for May 29th addresses the powerful emotion of "fear". It points out that fear is usually focused on the future, because we worry about what might happen and try to anticipate any disastrous outcome so that we would be prepared to protect ourselves. The reading goe...	hotrod	2	530	May 29, 2015 by Enigmatic
	Anger - what to do with it? (Preview) I'm realizing I've never been taught how to deal with anger. We weren't really allowed to be angry growing up, as my father had the corner market on that. Our job was to ensure we never ever did anything to provoke anger, and when it occurs it was my job to defuse it. So here I am a kick in the pants from 40 an...	LedfootJenny	10	744	May 29, 2015 by andromeda
	First post, feeling hopeless (Preview) Hi everyone. I'm not even sure where to begin. My twin sister is an alcoholic. I don't even remember a time when she wasn't some kind of addict, not since middle school. We are 34 years old now. She got pregnant at 18, and through her 20's her drinking got progressively worse. She lost everything, all of h...	Jessie226	9	463	May 29, 2015 by Jessie226
	New Here- Need Advice Re: husband who is relapsing (Preview) First time posting and my last one didn't work, so I'm keeping this brief. My hubby was just sent home from his out of town job because he relapsed for the 4th time this year on crack. For his 3rd relapse, the boundary I set was that we'd separate, and this time it was that we'd separate physically as well. I...	misterpiko	9	713	May 29, 2015 by misterpiko
	Hope for Today May 26 (Preview) Good morning everybody: Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made...	yanksfan51	3	730	May 29, 2015 by Breakingfree
	I finally get the water off a ducks back saying...... (Preview) Al-anon has taught me to put a water proof protectant on my feathers. Now when it rains and it will rain, I can still go about my life and enjoy each moment for the gift it is. When my exAH calls or texts while drunk which he does, I don't have to take it personally or answer and it doesn't have to effect my mood...	Breakingfree	8	523	May 28, 2015 by andromeda
	HP reminded me that it isn't my responsibility... (Preview) I have been struggling recently with the fact that today is my wife's last day of intensive outpatient therapy and that she is still drinking. I managed to get my hopes up and believe her when she said she wanted to be sober for treatment this time. Well... Yesterday I left work around 10 am as planned to...	Skorpi	8	532	May 28, 2015 by Irish7
	Al-Anon meetings (Preview) I posted on here months ago when I was feeling very alone and contemplating going to a Face to Face meeting. Firstly, Thank you to everyone who commented and encouraged me back in those dark days. It really meant a lot and I did start going to meetings! My husband is now away working following a period of u...	hopefull2015	20	998	May 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2C 5-28 (Preview) The C2C reading for today speaks about competing with others and constantly comparing . It points out that the only valid comparison is to compare myself to, who I am now to the person that I used to be. I love the slogan" Compare and Despair"as it reminds me of the quote from Malthie Babc...	hotrod	1	451	May 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	So much for my first day! (Preview) Well today was due to be my first day at my new uni. Daughter decided to develop the flu overnight and needed to stay at home today watching anime on the couch and sipping hot lemon and honey drinks. I can't say I was entirely upset by this as I have begun new classes whilst in the middle of exams and it's pre...	missmeliss	3	670	May 28, 2015 by Iamhere
	pressure from in laws (Preview) Hello I'm new to the page and taking great comfort from your comments to each other. Just wondered if anyone had experienced pressure from their in laws to stay with their A? I have just left my AH for the 4th time as we have had another binge and I am detemined to make a life away from all the chaos to bring u...	jen1234	15	910	May 28, 2015 by Skorpi
	Fake Happiness (Preview) I didn't have any idea how listening to others' experiences would bring so many memories and emotions to the surface. Wow! A good friend of mine called me. I told her that I found Al-Anon and how amazed and grateful I am that a group can be so inspiring and supportive. Than I told her that my ex-boy...	MsRobot	7	824	May 28, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	I hate this disease! HP passive aggressive (Preview) I had a great day yesterday with my A. I have leaned heavily on my HP lately which has me thinking things differently and not getting so defensive, etc. So when I got home from work yesterday, I was going to let go of all the hurt and bad tapes and past conversations my A and I have had and just have a nice con...	gabigail	7	828	May 28, 2015 by gabigail
	SEX: AN HONEST QUESTION... (Preview) So I sincerely don't want to offend anyone -- please hit the back button if this topic upsets you. Since my ex AW and I broke up there has been something that has been bothering me. I have made the realization that one of the reasons I am sad about losing this relationship is that the sexual aspect of the r...	SpookyMulder	25	1099	May 28, 2015 by Breakingfree
	My first post and need serious advice (Preview) I'm new to this message board and I'm in search of a nearby meeting for my wife and I to go to. I recognize that we are powerless over this and we need help. Our daughter is a recovering drug user and alcoholic. She is about 75 days into sobriety. She is on her first step. She is a young adult, age 19 and li...	Theruts	13	604	May 28, 2015 by Theruts
	Is the chatroom down? (Preview)	mercedes1959	5	512	May 27, 2015 by Iamhere
	AH's reaction to MY recovery (Preview) Last night after my AH got home from his 3rd AA meeting, he came home and told me that one of his (heroin addicted) sons had called and begged for money to "feed his family". I told him that I had heard a powerful thing in my Al Anon meeting, about a man who got on his knees and prayed for his kids...	Saucy	10	746	May 27, 2015 by a4l
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.