Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

robinfl · robinfl

I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...

Truth · Truth

1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...

missmeliss · missmeliss

XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

In typing "serenity" today I made a typo and typed "serentity" instead. After I looked at it a monet I thought of the long discussions many of us have had lately about Higher Power -- "What is it? Do I have to have one to recover" "What if I don't believe in God?&qu...

Fairlee · Fairlee

beware! I'm frustrated...don't say I didn't warn you. I've been minding my own business. I have not discussed alcohol or drinking with my AH since he started full-blown, all day-everyday drinking again. (Last month he actually stayed sober for a week and a half after his blood pressure went crazy h...

Jozie · Jozie

I Love that i Can Learn new things here, and Adjust my Attitude along with my Actions, but I Still have Days I am Like Speaking to a Brick Wall... I have a Very Dear Al-Anon Friend that I Feel a Broke a boundry with, and She God Love her, is Only Worried about my Feeling in it all... I am a Gifter... :/ If I Am Out a...

Bon · Bon

I've become the scapegoat for my SO's family. I know that their faults with me are ridiculous, e.g. I did not offer to drive them to visit SO even though they did not pick up the phone when I called to talk about the visit. I am trying to disengage but it's hard to do because I can't avoid them, at least no...

jamky · jamky

My wife is in rehab now and Im trying to gather my thoughts into something cohesive but I don't know if it is too harsh, please give me some feedback " A glimpse from the other side of the mirror I've heard so much about concerns about family and friends rejecting many of you. I know you need to focu...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 3 speaks about how easy it is to react to the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It appears that alcoholic uses arguments to provokes others in order to distract them from focusing on the real issue of drinking. We who live with the disease gets so caught up in the argume...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how many of us, before working the program, not only lived with a roller coaster ride of chaos but were addicted to it. I don't think I really understood that in some way I was seeking chaos out until I started to experience life without it on a daily basi...

Shanny · Shanny

Hi everyone, so to begin I have been married for the past 16 years, and we have 5 children, I finally worked up enough courage and 6 weeks ago I left my AH who has addictions to marijauna and alcohol. It has been so extremely hard and I constantly second guess myself whether or not I have made the right decis...

robinfl · robinfl

I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again. I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brought her to my house with a one year old daughter to help her "get well" because she was exhausted and in an abusive relationship. On the trip home I found ou...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon addresses resentment in a way that is particularly meaningful to me and my journey of recovery. The text acknowledges the we hear of the warnings about holding resentment many times while reading AlAnon literature. If I find myself struggling with resent...

glad · glad

I look back at all those long drawn out conversations where I was trying so hard to engage the alcoholic... most of the time I knew nothing was getting through and sometimes I would get angry and " act a fool" get so frustrated I would throw something at the wall or break something or find m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

As usual lately I have been short on time getting on this site. I guess I don't really prioritize this anymore. I do miss communicating w/ all of you though. I am not doing much of anything differently. I still am trying not to engage when it comes to my AH. He is still sober but sometimes he acts like a dry dr...

Truth · Truth

Okay so here it goes ... I think I am finally ready to share the voice in my head and it feels like my last internal struggle with my ex-A. I am sharing this hoping to get some feedback so I can move through this because I don't know what is mine and what was his. I still feel emotionally enmeshed on this and wou...

scoob09 · scoob09

Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...

Vanity · Vanity

Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...

phinatic514 · phinatic514

Hi all, I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...

Nouvelle · Nouvelle

AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...

missmeliss · missmeliss

There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...

Freetime · Freetime

I learned again today that I am powerless over alcohol. My AH has many health problems, at least in part as a result of long term alcohol abuse, and is in a care facility. He has limited mobility, cannot drive, is mostly incontinent, and spends most of his time in bed. His cognitive functions are not a...

Billie · Billie

i finally attended my first meeting this week. It took me so,long to get there, and I am glad I went. My husband did react - not verbally but I could tell he wasn't happy. I think this is why it took me a while, because I was worried what he might do. Not that I went any further than that in my head - I just knew he w...

fuzzywho · fuzzywho

This is my first post here. My AH husband was sober for eight months. Since last weekend he has started drinking again. I was surprised at how fast he fell into his old pattern of consuming so much that he passes out. Of course he said that he was going to drink a few beers a day and not drink as many as bef...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 1 speaks about Expectations. It points out that having expectations does lead,oftentimes to premeditated resentments. Just recently, on this Board, we were talking about expectations and resentments and this page goes on to explain the concept a bit further. The read...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

a night of feeling powerless. so many things happening and changing right now that are out of my control. my ex ringing my phone off (from out of town) still in the same patterns .. know nothing can change if nothing has changed .. the disease is scanless ... he's been calling saying he's changed has bee...

scoob09 · scoob09

My adult son, he is 18, is downstairs with his friends drinking, they woke me up at 2am with The noise, he wont go, im upset and crying, i go to al anon face to face but i have not heard of people who its their children, also al anon dont give advice. I got no support in dealing with thisfrom family, my older...

mjferg · mjferg

After having loved someone who wasn't capable of loving back and going through the painful period of letting go,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.The things I was afraid of were only fears I created in my own mind.This new life is exciting and challenging.I was afraid of being alone an...

monameows · monameows

I haven't been to a face to face meeting yet, but plan to, and actually have a friend who offered to go with me which is awesome. I am so far at the end of my rope with my husband's drinking that I'm barely holding on, and am literally dreaming of the new life I may make for myself and our children (although in m...

Truth · Truth

I was reading today about acceptance. It said neither unconditional forgiveness or resentment were acceptance. It also said that forgiveness granted without being earned is not acceptance. I have been going around and around on this issue for so long. I finally got my mistake. I have always though...

almostThere · almostThere

I find myself often leafing through the catalogs of rotten things that my A has said or done - be they large or small - that were clearly indefensible from a rational standpoint and that would compel a healthy person to offer an apology either from the desire to be polite or sincere remorse. Like th...

el-cee · el-cee

Expectations are premeditated resentments!!!! I think thats right. I think back to all the high expectations i had for my ex ah. They just set me up for disappointment every time. My expectations of him were insane. He was never able to live up to them. How could he? His disease wouldnt let him, the pul...

TomMc · TomMc

I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality. Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unempl...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I am at a lost of where this is headed. My AH hears in his meetings from men who have lost their wives because of alcohol, men who swear that there is no wife good enough to truly want to stay. ..so they are bascially telling my AH that he is going to lose me regardless of what he does. I am frustrated with this...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I magically returned here a few weeks back after being gone for 5 years give/take. When I was here before, I was so beaten, crazy and bruised. You all cared for me, shared with me and helped me level out to the point where I was able to go out in my community and find F2F meetings. I will be forever grate...

Koko · Koko

my ah has been sober for over two years. I moved out and he got sober and started the program. 90 meetings in 90 days... But no sponsor and no steps. Once again we are in marriage counseling and I try to see hope. So I open up about fears and hurts in an effort to resolve and try to help us get closer. Yeste...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I Am having trouble transitioning. I need to get out of my home to get a rental. I have been looking very hard, i found one finally. It is higher than i want but it is more what i am use to. Its actually a small house in an apt. Its 1,000 sq feet with nice cabinets, appliances etc. hope to start moving small s...

hotrod · hotrod

The May 31 reading in the C2 C speaks about embarking on a spiritual journey when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon. It suggests that many stories have been written about a hero who takes a spiritual journey where he must face great challenges before gaining a treasure at the end. It goes on to suggest tha...

almostThere · almostThere

I want to apologize to people of the Christian faith that may understandably take offence if they stumble upon some of my posts. It has taken a long time for me to digest that what I experienced was abuse in the guise of Christianity but in no way representative of the vast majority of people who practice...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Found the alc sob. His truck was at neighbors. Daughter and i were driving by to go for ice cream. I almost threw up and she started to cry when saw the truck. Less than a mile from our home. I went in the hose. . He was passed out in her(yes, another local drunk) couch. I woke him, he was all, "what, i just...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

I am new to all of this. My husband finally agreed to get help with his drinking about a month ago, after he was arrested for public intoxication when he took my three young children to the library while plastered. I will forever be grateful to the bystander who call 911 when she saw him. A therapist I sa...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Before I stumbled upon Alanon, there seemed to be no problem of mine, and especially others, that I could not fix. I still have brief bouts of shame and embarrassment as I recall the deluge of unsolicited and misdirected advice I constantly doled out to others, especially the A in my life. Reading dail...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection . The reading goes on to say that when we hear:...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Hi all. Needsome "been there done that " thoughts. I have not seen my alc husb since friday morning. Its now 6:00o saturday eve. He was with a buddy, i guess last night, if i believe him. This morning, not home. Had a text at ten saying where he was and hed be back soon. Ive been unable to reach him...

almostThere · almostThere

Just had a typical experience with my AW. Went to hear my son's band tonight. AW had her wine as usual. I had nothing as usual. Found out that my daughter's dorm assignment for this year at school seems to be in error which could cause some problems. I kept telling my daughter not to worry and that we w...

mjferg · mjferg

Lately I am feeling very overwhelmed.I just bought a new place and I am am in the middle of a total remodel,it is very stressful.I also have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I have come down with a very bad cold.I am pretty frustrated and tired right now.Right when I need to be at my best,I feel awful.I am pret...

ampere · ampere

I have a friend who has been sober for several years but has never sought treatment. He quit drinking on his own but is still very much grappling with many emotional issues, which he is in denial about. He is in a band with me, and the other member and I are finally ready to tell him we don't want him in the ban...

SpookyMulder · SpookyMulder

As I have written in many posts, my AW left me a couple of months ago. Her main complaints at the time were that I hadn't accomplished any spiritual growth over the last several years, that I was shut down and didn't listen. As all of us have commented on numerous times, you can't rely on alcoholics to gi...

Truth · Truth

Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry y...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was asking me about the AlAnon program and it really got me to thinking. Now he believes his live in GF is an alcoholic and needs help and has tried relentlessly to get her to get help, yet what I find hard to come to terms with is that HE drinks to the point of drunk...

Linda R · Linda R

Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...

Raven_x · Raven_x

I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...

helpless mom · helpless mom

My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...

Jozie · Jozie

Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...

almostThere · almostThere

Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...

Breezy139 · Breezy139

I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Daughter Stole Pain Pill should I confront? (Preview) I had one pain pill from my last surgery hidden. I just found out it is gone. My daughter took it sometime this week. Should I confront her? Previous post:>>I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again.I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brough...	robinfl	2	696	Jun 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	So integration begins... (Preview) 1. People can't give you what they don't have!!! (Expectations) 2. Just because they don't give it doesn't mean you don't need it (Values & Standards) 3. If you need it, you deserve it. (Boundaries and Detaching with Love) 4. If we are taking/forcing it without free will (Control) 5. If we pretend...	Truth	8	752	Jun 4, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C reading 6-4 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 4 speaks about the Second Step and the possibilities of Hope that it engenders. The reading stresses the importance of making a small dent in the overwhelming armor of despair, so that we can show that we are willing to move in the direction of healing. It states that a little wi...	hotrod	7	690	Jun 4, 2015 by Enigmatic
	AH going to AA meetings but still drinking (Preview) I am curious to know if anyone's qualifier goes to AA meetings but either drinks before they go or after they leave. Is this a normal thing? I am just so frustrated right now. I wanted to ask my husband why bother go to the meeting at all if you are either going their drunk or drink afterwards but I didn't...	Jazzie18	9	598	Jun 4, 2015 by Mike B
	Sticking to the facts. (Preview) XAH is really working hard to rattle me. I have taken daughter there (the dreaded 8-10 hour train trip) every 2nd Friday for many years. Now I have decided that in winter, when it is dark early, it isn't safe for me to be catching trains late at night. The trip TO his house with daughter is OK safety-wise (a...	missmeliss	12	1736	Jun 3, 2015 by a4l
	SERENTITY... (Preview) In typing "serenity" today I made a typo and typed "serentity" instead. After I looked at it a monet I thought of the long discussions many of us have had lately about Higher Power -- "What is it? Do I have to have one to recover" "What if I don't believe in God?&qu...	SpookyMulder	6	549	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	I can't deal with the ridiculousness of this! (Preview) beware! I'm frustrated...don't say I didn't warn you. I've been minding my own business. I have not discussed alcohol or drinking with my AH since he started full-blown, all day-everyday drinking again. (Last month he actually stayed sober for a week and a half after his blood pressure went crazy h...	Fairlee	10	783	Jun 3, 2015 by stillhangingon
	Al-Anon Schooled :/ (Preview) I Love that i Can Learn new things here, and Adjust my Attitude along with my Actions, but I Still have Days I am Like Speaking to a Brick Wall... I have a Very Dear Al-Anon Friend that I Feel a Broke a boundry with, and She God Love her, is Only Worried about my Feeling in it all... I am a Gifter... :/ If I Am Out a...	Jozie	1	543	Jun 3, 2015 by hotrod
	How to NOT respond to foolishness (Preview) I've become the scapegoat for my SO's family. I know that their faults with me are ridiculous, e.g. I did not offer to drive them to visit SO even though they did not pick up the phone when I called to talk about the visit. I am trying to disengage but it's hard to do because I can't avoid them, at least no...	Bon	23	809	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	My thoughts in words (Preview) My wife is in rehab now and Im trying to gather my thoughts into something cohesive but I don't know if it is too harsh, please give me some feedback " A glimpse from the other side of the mirror I've heard so much about concerns about family and friends rejecting many of you. I know you need to focu...	jamky	13	774	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 6-3 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 3 speaks about how easy it is to react to the insanity of the disease of alcoholism. It appears that alcoholic uses arguments to provokes others in order to distract them from focusing on the real issue of drinking. We who live with the disease gets so caught up in the argume...	hotrod	1	631	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today June 2 (Preview) Good morning Everyone-- Today's reading is about how many of us, before working the program, not only lived with a roller coaster ride of chaos but were addicted to it. I don't think I really understood that in some way I was seeking chaos out until I started to experience life without it on a daily basi...	yanksfan51	5	575	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	hi new here and feeling hopeful and scared (Preview) Hi everyone, so to begin I have been married for the past 16 years, and we have 5 children, I finally worked up enough courage and 6 weeks ago I left my AH who has addictions to marijauna and alcohol. It has been so extremely hard and I constantly second guess myself whether or not I have made the right decis...	Shanny	8	612	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	New problem: daughter having withdrawals (Preview) I bagan Alanon a few months ago because my dry drunk husband started drinking again. I picked my 29 year old daughter out of state and brought her to my house with a one year old daughter to help her "get well" because she was exhausted and in an abusive relationship. On the trip home I found ou...	robinfl	2	435	Jun 3, 2015 by Iamhere
	ODAT in Alanon 6-2 Resentment (Preview) Today's page in One Day at a Time in Al-Anon addresses resentment in a way that is particularly meaningful to me and my journey of recovery. The text acknowledges the we hear of the warnings about holding resentment many times while reading AlAnon literature. If I find myself struggling with resent...	Enigmatic	5	1241	Jun 3, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	Just saying... (Preview) I look back at all those long drawn out conversations where I was trying so hard to engage the alcoholic... most of the time I knew nothing was getting through and sometimes I would get angry and " act a fool" get so frustrated I would throw something at the wall or break something or find m...	glad	6	595	Jun 2, 2015 by Fairlee
	it has been a looong time. (Preview) As usual lately I have been short on time getting on this site. I guess I don't really prioritize this anymore. I do miss communicating w/ all of you though. I am not doing much of anything differently. I still am trying not to engage when it comes to my AH. He is still sober but sometimes he acts like a dry dr...	Hoot Nanny	2	435	Jun 2, 2015 by hotrod
	Voice in my head... (Preview) Okay so here it goes ... I think I am finally ready to share the voice in my head and it feels like my last internal struggle with my ex-A. I am sharing this hoping to get some feedback so I can move through this because I don't know what is mine and what was his. I still feel emotionally enmeshed on this and wou...	Truth	35	670	Jun 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	I have asked them to leave many times/ how to make them leave? (Preview) Hello, I have asked the boys to leave home and find somewhere else to live many times, they just wont go and I do not know how to get them out of the house. The police wont help and I have got no other adult support to back me up. There is also financial implications of the bedroom tax and getting evicted mysel...	scoob09	7	764	Jun 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	Scared and confused... (Preview) Hello, I'm new to this site, and I guess I'm just trying to find a way to cope with my ABF. Its been going on for almost 2 years now, and the past couple months he has been traveling for work, and says hes been sober. But when he comes home to visit, I just feel so much anxiety. I'm not really sure how to cope with...	Vanity	5	556	Jun 2, 2015 by glad
	Not sure how to feel. (Preview) Hi all, I'm not sure about my feelings right now, and I'd like some input. My father has been drinking for over 40 years. Over the past two years, it's progressively gotten much worse. He's quit rehab several times, gave up on AA after one meeting, and I'm not sure he's able to be helped. A bit over one we...	phinatic514	15	1054	Jun 2, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Brand New here - AH in Rehab for 4 days... what to expect? marijuana alcohol cheating anger rehab (Preview) AH has been abusing marijuana and Alcohol for as long as I have known him and for many years before that. When we met, we were in the party scene but never did hard drugs so I guess I never thought it was a big deal. Fast forward 17 years, 2 kids later I'm no longer in the party scene, he still is and is drinkin...	Nouvelle	4	9182	Jun 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	Some stuff I thought about giving advice. (Preview) There is a post on the board about drinking whilst being a member of al-anon and whether or not that is hypocritical etc. And it details a situation where a spouse is complaining about their drinking partner whilst drinking heavily themselves. It brings up a lot for me. I started to write a response and...	missmeliss	19	891	Jun 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	I am powerless over alcohol (Preview) I learned again today that I am powerless over alcohol. My AH has many health problems, at least in part as a result of long term alcohol abuse, and is in a care facility. He has limited mobility, cannot drive, is mostly incontinent, and spends most of his time in bed. His cognitive functions are not a...	Freetime	5	2429	Jun 2, 2015 by Jazzie18
	Finally attended an Al Anon meeting (Preview) i finally attended my first meeting this week. It took me so,long to get there, and I am glad I went. My husband did react - not verbally but I could tell he wasn't happy. I think this is why it took me a while, because I was worried what he might do. Not that I went any further than that in my head - I just knew he w...	Billie	10	594	Jun 2, 2015 by missmeliss
	AH started drinking again (Preview) This is my first post here. My AH husband was sober for eight months. Since last weekend he has started drinking again. I was surprised at how fast he fell into his old pattern of consuming so much that he passes out. Of course he said that he was going to drink a few beers a day and not drink as many as bef...	fuzzywho	11	825	Jun 1, 2015 by Fairlee
	C2C 6-1 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 1 speaks about Expectations. It points out that having expectations does lead,oftentimes to premeditated resentments. Just recently, on this Board, we were talking about expectations and resentments and this page goes on to explain the concept a bit further. The read...	hotrod	7	545	Jun 1, 2015 by Enigmatic
	depressed and feeling the effects (Preview) a night of feeling powerless. so many things happening and changing right now that are out of my control. my ex ringing my phone off (from out of town) still in the same patterns .. know nothing can change if nothing has changed .. the disease is scanless ... he's been calling saying he's changed has bee...	MeTwo2	6	582	Jun 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	adult son and friends (Preview) My adult son, he is 18, is downstairs with his friends drinking, they woke me up at 2am with The noise, he wont go, im upset and crying, i go to al anon face to face but i have not heard of people who its their children, also al anon dont give advice. I got no support in dealing with thisfrom family, my older...	scoob09	23	790	Jun 1, 2015 by scoob09
	The Blessings of Change (Preview) After having loved someone who wasn't capable of loving back and going through the painful period of letting go,I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.The things I was afraid of were only fears I created in my own mind.This new life is exciting and challenging.I was afraid of being alone an...	mjferg	8	510	Jun 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Is it a lie, or am I crazy? I always assume I'm crazy. (Preview) I haven't been to a face to face meeting yet, but plan to, and actually have a friend who offered to go with me which is awesome. I am so far at the end of my rope with my husband's drinking that I'm barely holding on, and am literally dreaming of the new life I may make for myself and our children (although in m...	monameows	17	761	Jun 1, 2015 by Jozie
	Acceptance (Preview) I was reading today about acceptance. It said neither unconditional forgiveness or resentment were acceptance. It also said that forgiveness granted without being earned is not acceptance. I have been going around and around on this issue for so long. I finally got my mistake. I have always though...	Truth	20	622	Jun 1, 2015 by Breakingfree
	No Apologies (Preview) I find myself often leafing through the catalogs of rotten things that my A has said or done - be they large or small - that were clearly indefensible from a rational standpoint and that would compel a healthy person to offer an apology either from the desire to be polite or sincere remorse. Like th...	almostThere	10	697	May 31, 2015 by almostThere
	what do you expect from your alcoholic? (Preview) Expectations are premeditated resentments!!!! I think thats right. I think back to all the high expectations i had for my ex ah. They just set me up for disappointment every time. My expectations of him were insane. He was never able to live up to them. How could he? His disease wouldnt let him, the pul...	el-cee	9	642	May 31, 2015 by almostThere
	Raising the child of an alcoholic child (Preview) I am new to this (3 face-to-face meetings). Trying hard to end my pity party and accept the reality. Need to know how to be hopeful when my daughter ignores her child and leaves me and my wife to take care of him. Without him it would be very easy to cope. His mom is bi-polar, alcoholic and basically unempl...	TomMc	2	487	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Can a marriage last? (Preview) I am at a lost of where this is headed. My AH hears in his meetings from men who have lost their wives because of alcohol, men who swear that there is no wife good enough to truly want to stay. ..so they are bascially telling my AH that he is going to lose me regardless of what he does. I am frustrated with this...	EarlyBird	2	548	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Just a Huge Thank You..... (Preview) So - I magically returned here a few weeks back after being gone for 5 years give/take. When I was here before, I was so beaten, crazy and bruised. You all cared for me, shared with me and helped me level out to the point where I was able to go out in my community and find F2F meetings. I will be forever grate...	Iamhere	3	497	May 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Mind Games of a Dry Drunk (Preview) my ah has been sober for over two years. I moved out and he got sober and started the program. 90 meetings in 90 days... But no sponsor and no steps. Once again we are in marriage counseling and I try to see hope. So I open up about fears and hurts in an effort to resolve and try to help us get closer. Yeste...	Koko	15	1028	May 31, 2015 by SpookyMulder
	Transitioning (Preview) I Am having trouble transitioning. I need to get out of my home to get a rental. I have been looking very hard, i found one finally. It is higher than i want but it is more what i am use to. Its actually a small house in an apt. Its 1,000 sq feet with nice cabinets, appliances etc. hope to start moving small s...	Mirandac	12	560	May 31, 2015 by Truth
	C2C 5-31 (Preview) The May 31 reading in the C2 C speaks about embarking on a spiritual journey when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon. It suggests that many stories have been written about a hero who takes a spiritual journey where he must face great challenges before gaining a treasure at the end. It goes on to suggest tha...	hotrod	2	442	May 31, 2015 by hotrod
	A quick apology to all... (Preview) I want to apologize to people of the Christian faith that may understandably take offence if they stumble upon some of my posts. It has taken a long time for me to digest that what I experienced was abuse in the guise of Christianity but in no way representative of the vast majority of people who practice...	almostThere	6	840	May 31, 2015 by el-cee
	update to help. . (Preview) Found the alc sob. His truck was at neighbors. Daughter and i were driving by to go for ice cream. I almost threw up and she started to cry when saw the truck. Less than a mile from our home. I went in the hose. . He was passed out in her(yes, another local drunk) couch. I woke him, he was all, "what, i just...	Theoceancalls	5	542	May 30, 2015 by Theoceancalls
	Finding time (Preview) I am new to all of this. My husband finally agreed to get help with his drinking about a month ago, after he was arrested for public intoxication when he took my three young children to the library while plastered. I will forever be grateful to the bystander who call 911 when she saw him. A therapist I sa...	EarlyBird	5	568	May 30, 2015 by Mattie
	ODAT 5-30 Minding Our Own Business (Preview) Before I stumbled upon Alanon, there seemed to be no problem of mine, and especially others, that I could not fix. I still have brief bouts of shame and embarrassment as I recall the deluge of unsolicited and misdirected advice I constantly doled out to others, especially the A in my life. Reading dail...	Enigmatic	4	1188	May 30, 2015 by andromeda
	C2C 5-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for May 30 speaks about the effects of living in a alcoholic home. It points out that being gentle with ourselves is a foreign concept because we were rarely treated with gentleness because it was more important to strive for perfection . The reading goes on to say that when we hear:...	hotrod	3	502	May 30, 2015 by hotrod
	help for next time (Preview) Hi all. Needsome "been there done that " thoughts. I have not seen my alc husb since friday morning. Its now 6:00o saturday eve. He was with a buddy, i guess last night, if i believe him. This morning, not home. Had a text at ten saying where he was and hed be back soon. Ive been unable to reach him...	Theoceancalls	4	512	May 30, 2015 by hotrod
	didn't take the bait (Preview) Just had a typical experience with my AW. Went to hear my son's band tonight. AW had her wine as usual. I had nothing as usual. Found out that my daughter's dorm assignment for this year at school seems to be in error which could cause some problems. I kept telling my daughter not to worry and that we w...	almostThere	9	731	May 30, 2015 by almostThere
	overwhelmed (Preview) Lately I am feeling very overwhelmed.I just bought a new place and I am am in the middle of a total remodel,it is very stressful.I also have a lot of schoolwork to do, and I have come down with a very bad cold.I am pretty frustrated and tired right now.Right when I need to be at my best,I feel awful.I am pret...	mjferg	3	501	May 30, 2015 by Iamhere
	looking for advice on a friend who is a dry drunk (Preview) I have a friend who has been sober for several years but has never sought treatment. He quit drinking on his own but is still very much grappling with many emotional issues, which he is in denial about. He is in a band with me, and the other member and I are finally ready to tell him we don't want him in the ban...	ampere	3	551	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Leaving versus being left, asking for experiences... (Preview) As I have written in many posts, my AW left me a couple of months ago. Her main complaints at the time were that I hadn't accomplished any spiritual growth over the last several years, that I was shut down and didn't listen. As all of us have commented on numerous times, you can't rely on alcoholics to gi...	SpookyMulder	10	696	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Validated Myself (Preview) Well I have started dating and it has been quite the experience for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and validate my emotions. I am also not people pleasing and expressing my needs. Well I have not made a connection, I am learning to speak up. I just had another experience with "I'm sorry y...	Truth	5	465	May 30, 2015 by Koko
	Does attending AlAnon and drinking make one a hypocrit? To drink or not to drink that is the question. (Preview) I was talking to a friend of mine today and he was asking me about the AlAnon program and it really got me to thinking. Now he believes his live in GF is an alcoholic and needs help and has tried relentlessly to get her to get help, yet what I find hard to come to terms with is that HE drinks to the point of drunk...	shellyj123	19	2141	May 30, 2015 by Billie
	New to having an addicted significant other. Advice? (Preview) Background info: my mother is a non-funtioning (a great deal of the time) drinker. Just like many of us, my father couldn't deal and I ended up being her caregiver, secret keeper, best friend and the best darn co-dependant kid an alcoholic could ever ask for! In and around all that, my family has always...	Linda R	8	605	May 30, 2015 by mjferg
	1.75 Liters in 4 days (Preview) I moved in with my GF 9 months ago and it looks like I have picked another alcoholic AGAIN. Hell, at least this one is kind and generous to me, but it is still affecting our relationship. BTW I am a gay female. I am Blonde, but not a dumb-ass, as a matter of fact I'm working on my Masters Degree. But please answ...	Raven_x	22	6531	May 29, 2015 by Raven_x
	Reality and what I imagined were SO different! (Preview) So, I have been wanting to get back to jogging. I used to jog, but stopped about five years ago when things started to get unmanageable for me. I LOVE being out in the early morning with my pups, as well. When we lived in town with just one dog, Griffin and I would start and end every day with at least an hour-...	Skorpi	6	641	May 29, 2015 by Irish7
	depression in alcoholics (Preview) My unmarried adult daughter has been in recovery for over a year. She was an alcoholic /pill abuser throughout her teenage years and as a young adult.. She attends several meetings a week and has a sponsor. She seems very depressed because of her inability to make friends besides those in AA. She doesn...	helpless mom	5	687	May 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	Reflections of Progress.... (Preview) Hello Family :) A Few Reflections of Progress... When I Got Here almost 6yrs ago, I THOUGHT I was Here to Save My baby ABrother from the Disease that Just Killed My Afather... But What Ended up Happening, is I Saved MYSELF :D and in doing this... I Just Wanted to Share SOME of the Things that have Happened I...	Jozie	5	538	May 29, 2015 by serenity47
	Here it comes again... (Preview) So, i know I've posted about my AH before, and how he has abused me in the past, and how he has health issues and how he is not in recovery or anything. I recently posted that I almost wished he would go ahead and do "it" again just to give me a good reason to leave. Anyway, after thinking that he had...	PennyJenny010115	15	905	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	I need a push and I'm stubborn as hell. ( 1 2 ) newbie religion higher power loneliness anger first meeting (Preview) Trying to get myself to start al-anon. Facing the same obstacles that I know many have faced and I know my story will be nothing new. Concerns: RELIGION AND HIGHER POWER Yes, I am an hardcore atheist. Posts by spookyMulder and Enigmatic were helpful in working towards mitigating this obstacle, but...	almostThere	67	19635	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
	First post, feeling so lost and confused (Preview) I'm not sure where to begin. My husband of the last 6 years is an alcoholic. Within the last year, he has spiralled out of control. Abusing drugs, alcohol, sexually promiscious and verbally abusive to me. Last Valentine's Day eve, he went out with his buddies, promising to return around midnigh...	Breezy139	5	533	May 29, 2015 by almostThere
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