The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I finally did it after a belligerent night last night (first one in years believe it or not) I stuck to my commitment and this morning told him he couldn't stay here anymore. It kind of just blurted out of my mouth after his apology him saying we need to talk. I wasn't angry or resentful I calmly explained that I didn't think him being here trying to figure out what will make him feel better is working for him and def. not for me or the kids. I told him this is not what I want but what I think is best for all of us and you know what.....he calmly said I understand, you don't need to put up with this and I'm not mad at you I get it. Over a few hours he got some of his stuff together we told the kids he was going to go stay at his house in the next town over for a while and he left peacefully. I let him know in a text later that I still love him that hasn't changed and he said thank you. I stuck to my boundary and it hurt like hell and I'm very sad and feeling very uncertain of what will happen but part of me is relieved. I feel like I can breath now. I love him and I want him to get well and I hope he is able to do that and come back and be with his family where he belongs. I know that may never happen but I will keep hoping and wishing for the best for him. It's been a long 13 yrs. now maybe I can begin to heal and be the happy healthy person I once was. My dad who has been deceased for 7 yrs now a recovering alcoholic for 22 yrs before he passed away kept telling me I would know when I have hit my bottom and I will do what I need to do. Once again he was right. I miss my dad and all the wonderful advice/experience he was able to give me.
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You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.
It's very empowering when we follow our truth and are rewarded with "peace". By working on ourselves and not the A, we can define our boundaries in ways that exceed our wildest hopes!
Nicely done Holly! Putting the well-being of YOU and the kids as a priority is a courageous step for people like us. Not only do you have peace in your life now, but you're leading by example. Your kids are watching your actions and learning there's options in life. To take care of SELF.
YOU took action, now the results are in God's hands. More will be revealed.
