The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is about Tradition Seven - being fully self-supporting. The writer tells of how Alanon helped her to change some habits she had formed as a child so that in her adulthood she had learned about how to better save money and support herself. This reading has made me think about my early marriage; neither of us was great with money and would pool any money we brought in but were pretty haphazard about how it was spent. I learned to take care of the bills of the house and for a long time would never question money being spent by my H because he was bringing in most of it (this was how I rationalized to myself). I am learning about self-support now, in my mid 40s, and it is fulfilling. By no means do I have a lot of money, but I have been able to manage my bills. It is a relief to know exactly where money is going because for many years I did not, and I also didn't question it.
For me this reading is another reminder that this is a program that starts with our selves; that we are responsible only for ourselves..and that we can keep walking to a better life for---ourselves.
Thanks for the topic Mary. As you pointed out, being "self supporting " declining outside contributions is important for alanon meetings and for ourselves as well.
Outside contributions are discouraged because when others give money to an organization they also think that this allow them some control and say over the organization. Alanon meetings remain pure by self supporting and holding business meetings where members are elected to be trusted servants in this fellowship of equals No one is in control.
I have also found that I can take this concept a little further and self support my meetings by showing up,and volunteering for positions such as literature or chairperson or posting responses on the Board. For my family, balancing a budget, learning to spend money on essential items and then allowing some for discretionary income is an important skill to master. Thanks for your service.
Actually the most at peace I have ever been mentally was the time I was totally really single-not even "dating" anyone and was managing only my money! I was not supporting anyone (as it was with both my ex's) and no one was supporting me (as there had been times of that too) BUT I had my ex as the excuse for why things were in a shambles, and if anyone really knew they would know that I put so much of my attention on trying to "change them" that my head wasn't really focused on first things first so I was equally responsible for the negative cash flow, plus I never said "no" to their demands for spending making me even more responsible. Today when I get all scattered, depressed or confused, I'm pretty sure I'm not putting first things first
This is my goal and this is the year I should graduate in Devember as an RN and finally for the first time ever at 37 which I just turned will be financially independent! I am so excited and look forward to more freedoms. Thanks to al-anon!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
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