Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

missmeliss · missmeliss

Daughter's father has been attempting to engage me in "talking" lately. I never know exactly what he means by this because we don't communicate well and the "talking" always ends with either he expressing bizarre and kind of offensive concerns (like, recently, "shou...

el-cee · el-cee

.... so choose happiness today MIP friends.x

el-cee · el-cee

The disease of alcoholism is a family disease. That means the whole family have symptoms. When we focus solely on the alcoholic we are failing to see ourselves, there's nothing we can do about the drinker, only ourselves. You could spend your whole life complaining about the same boring stuff almost...

nannyg · nannyg

Hi all, For he last few weeks I have been struggling dealing with one of my AS, I just talked to the counselor at the recovery home he is in and it looks lie there may be some major issues far beyond what I was worried about. He needs proper diagnosis and it looks like hes either borderline, narcissistic or m...

missmeliss · missmeliss

2 years ago, when I was just new here, I wrote a post about how I was isolated and socially kind of phobic. I had an on-line friend (I used to play online computer games a lot) from interstate who was going to coming near me on his way to a wedding and had decided to come and meet me (with his wife). And I was so ne...

Iamhere · Iamhere

At times, I am 'stuck' in a moment of doing the next right thing. There are situations that 'normal folks' face that the logical response is accurate and appropriate. However, my experience is that when we are dealing with this disease, the 'normal' can become a catalyst for chaos. Long story short...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I actually felt I was a good mother. I was a stay at home mom who "lived" for her 4 children (spaced 5 years apart so i ciuld give each "his" time in his early years. While I was by no means perfect, I spent my years caring for them, reading to them, making art projects with them, taking...

ruthstoops · ruthstoops

i really don't know what to do. my friend won't try aa. she has all sorts of denialist reasons why not to go. i recently lost a family member (a close one) to alcoholism. i feel as if i have a lot of regrets about that which i know is irrational. but i want to try with this friend, who has kids etc. many sober fr...

catlover26 · catlover26

Last week I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. It is a very small group with only 4 members all of them so much younger than me. I just think it would help if I had a sponsor that I might be able to relate better with. Maybe it wasn't just their age or maybe it was just me. I got the feeling they were a close group an...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I stopped enabling my adult son (30) almost a year ago - it was mainly financial support - occasional rent checks, occasional car insurance, paying the occasional traffic tickets, occasional groceries, occasional utility bills, etc., etc., etc. - of course, I had been doing it with all good intent...

sweetie · sweetie

We have just recently found out that our 40 year old son has a "drinking problem." He was raised in a very religious home with absolutely no history of even drinking alcohol, so this was pretty shocking to us and we don't have a clue how to help him. He has lived in another state for a number of...

lookingup · lookingup

i never learned how to love myself,and just how do you open up to. A freind never had I.need all esh I can get here get me back on track plz.....hugs

PennyJenny010115 · PennyJenny010115

I haven't been on in awhile, but I had posted about my AH who was physically abusive in the past, but not so much anymore, and had even curbed his drinking to a tolerable amount on most occasions, but that the abuse even while sober was still enough to make me want to leave. Well, it really hit the fan last w...

Lyne · Lyne

My father died over 30 years ago, due to lack of self care after a heart attack. I was in my late 20's. So he has missed out on my son growing up, having a daughter of his own, my getting my education which I had had to stop after surgery, and I never got to relate to him as a mature adult. He had some major fl...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy first day of summer. Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the power of meditation. The reading breaks down the definition of meditation into an easy to understand form as It defines meditation as ability to think contemplatively and that to contemplate simply means to " view tho...

00islandgirl00 · 00islandgirl00

I've been in an alcoholic/drug abuse relationship with my husband for over 20 yrs. He is now 2 years sober but the pain and misery is still there. I thought for sure if he stopped doing drugs and alcohol all of problems would go away. I was wrong. It's seems worse now then it was when he was drinking. Befo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses detaching with love and allowing our A(s) to hit their own bottom by experiencing natural consequences for their choices and actions. It also discusses that with the best of intentions, we have often interrupted their success too. Only through working the program, an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading reminds us that we are seeking peace through progress, not perfection. Al-Anon helps many of us to cope with crises that we simply could not have managed on our own. The program teaches us to lean on a Power greather than ourselves and discover that we can live and even grow through the...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 22 speaks about what it was like when we first entered the rooms and how our attitudes have changed since. It points out that many of us unknowingly gave our power away by our attitudes and belief systems. We did this by blaming others for our situation and feelings and...

Jozie · Jozie

Truth · Truth

I am well rested, had my breakfast, hugged my son ... I am going to spend this beautiful day doing some chores and some play

Praying for all of you on this beautiful day

andromeda · andromeda

Hello everyone, I need advice on a situation with my ds and XAH. My ds will have 2 more years of high school to finish, after being homeschooled for the past 16 years. I have been working full time and that means my XAH has had to step up and handle a lot more of ds' schedule. For now, things are tolerable b...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for June 20 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and how we unconsciously develop negative coping tools to protect ourselves from the insanity of the disease. The reading suggests that we often" react :out of fear -- go silent, and keep quiet when confronted ins...

Tampa · Tampa

No matter what I do or how hard I work the steps I find myself after a period of time losing it. Today my active qualifier went out to pick up some tea and powerade for me and to stop by Sears for a sparkplug. He was gone for three hours and my thoughts were racing. I tried calling him and he ignored calls, no res...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm haveing good days when I'm with healthy ppl but wen I'm alone which I live alone I get depressed my freind told me I'd better be careful or I'd fall into another bad relationship,prolly true.im doing good today so all I can do is take one day at a time ,even baby steps........thanks for listening hugs...

Flower49 · Flower49

I am trying to figure out how to discuss this with my A. We have some boundaries in place that we both agreed on. One is that if he knows he will not be home within 20 minutes after work, AA whatever it is he is doing he will call and I too do the same. As of the past couple of weeks, suddenly he no longer calls and w...

missmeliss · missmeliss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc

Debb · Debb

Something dawned on me just now and I googled it ... What part does alcohol consumption play in increasing estrogen in a drinker? I noticed that when AH is beside himself he acts like someone who is not only out of control with emotions but like someone whose hormones are raging as well. I discovered...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for today speaks about taking everything that happens personally and that by doing this I remain a victim and blame others for my discomfort. Accepting life on life's terms is the key . The reading emphasizes the fact that things will not always go our way and that learning how to acc...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I seem to have to learn this lesson over and over and over and over and over. Knowing the pitfalls, knowing the outcomes and knowing the wrong course of action through tried and tested experience just doesn't make bad decisions work any better! For example, for various reasons I am 2 weeks into an 8 week...

KrissySmith · KrissySmith

Seventeen years ago I was attending family week at my then newly wedded husband's rehab facility after he was arrested for dealing drugs. I met a woman in her early forties, whose husband had held a high profile job in their small town before he made headlines for a drunk driving accident. She said it wa...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I guess i needed a reality check. I stated how i felt in an email to ex in just a basic way. Stated i needed more time to move out i was trying to do too much and having a hard time emotionally. I only said "i was hurt very deeply by someone i thought i knew and had trusted" He spins it back that i ha...

Debb · Debb

I am going to share some of what I wrote when in the process of working the the first ten steps and thought I would start at the beginning, with Step 1:We admitted we were powerless over the Alcoholic that our lives had become unmanageable.I began Step One in May of last year, it was a huge relief admitting...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's C2C is one that resonated deeply within my mind and heart early on in my AlAnon journey; it is one of the key texts that allowed me to see the 'Why' and 'How' of Detachment with love. AlAnon introduced me to the concept of allowing the A to face the consequences of their actions; the concept that th...

hotrod · hotrod

Tradition 11 has been posted to the Step Work BoardLearn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been learning a lot about myself the past couple of weeks.As I reflect on some of my decisions and choices.I realize I am very passive.There have been many times that I have a voice screaming inside my head to say something to someone and I am afraid.I know it goes way back to when I was a child,I didn...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's HfT addresses the internal struggles that can accompany step 8. The Thought for the Day reminds us that true healing from the pain we hold from alcoholic behavior begins only when we accept that it was caused by alcohol the disease, not the alcoholic. This thought, along with today's C2C offe...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My husband detoxed last week - last drink was Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday he was at home feeling sick and Thursday he was so bad that I finally took him to the ER (he felt so bad that he didn't agrue with me). He was admitted for two nights and let me say thank god for Adavin as his symptoms went away prett...

Debb · Debb

Working Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to anotherhuman being the exact nature of our wrongsUnderstanding that the fear, resentment and lack of confidence that I developed from AH's verbal abuse was holding me back from being a compassionate human being with others and myself. Understa...

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

I haven't posted in a while but need to shout out how grateful I am for this program! I would not be where I am today without it and I am so very grateful. I filed led for divorce in January and Murphy's Law has been in full effect with the progression of things. What should have been a six week process is st...

ashes · ashes

Hi all, I don't really know where to begin with this so I'm going to start here. I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings. everyone was very nice and very welcoming. I put off going for a long time because I was just scared about it, what if I met someone I knew. I have not yet shared at a meeting, I'm not very open a...

gillygilly · gillygilly

I'm sitting with an agitated anxious feeling tonight that I'm very familiar with. I don't know whether it's an al anon feeling, ie related to living with the effects of alcoholism, or whether it's just normal human life, or whether it's just me, so would be interested to hear any ESH. it would be espe...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I am sorry my question ended up being so weird and maybe patronising. I was actually trying to gain some understanding for myself, to work through a relationship issue I am having. I wasn't meaning to be a weird nosey ghoul. I just found, the question was s...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading reminds us that we each have our own path in life and in recovery. It suggests that when we arrive at Al-Anon, many of us resent others who appear to have less troubled lives. The program helps us to understand and accept that we are all special and different. We always have exactly wh...

Debb · Debb

Guide to completing Step 4Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves I believe everyone needs are undoubtedly different, our lives are all different, so it makes sense to me that our needs and moral inventories would be different as well. I always believed that everyone has the pro...

Confused2379 · Confused2379

I am out of town and I'm feeling depressed because I have not been to a meeting in a week. I miss the connection that I get from listening to other alanon people. i know my plight has to do with my AH. He is still actively drinking and living with OW. I felt I had to leave my home because I cannot take his drin...

mjferg · mjferg

I have been seeing a lot of posts about changing the A.How can I make him or her change?How can I help him or her see?I lived like that for so long,I believed it.After becoming miserable with my life I started this program and I have learned that it is always about changing me.The first question I asked mys...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I've been contemplating seeing a therapist for a long time now. Recently, daughter has started having some counselling and what both her school counsellor and her new extra-curricular counsellor have said to me is that "You should seek some support for yourself, mum". I felt that they m...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive been slipping lately with my program. Other things have distracted me, some of which ive shared here. Ive kind of lost touch with what im all about. Im redefining myself or other aspects of myself and ive stopped being honest and taking that honest look at my shortcomings and assets. Ive had the reb...

Lovejailed · Lovejailed

2 weeks ago my Ah had his first aggressive outburst. The ac and door were his victims. that was enough for me to ask him to leave. I have worked and am still working on this with my therapist. I have set up a meeting with a separate therapist for some couples therapy. I have explained to my AH that we need to st...

mjferg · mjferg

I am on my 2 week break from college.I have been waiting on this break and looking forward to enjoying some summer weather.It has been pouring rain,very cloudy and dreary.Forecast is rain,lots of it,for the whole 2 weeks.Sigh!I am just feeling grumpy today,I still have a lot of work to do on my house,i...

Dave2554 · Dave2554

It's amazing how quickly one can lose their serenity ... and in this case it has nothing to do with my A. My Mom is suffering from her own progressive disease, which I didn't cause, I can't cure, and I can't control. But, the Al-Anonic in me certainly wants to try and control or take responsibility for ho...

lookingup · lookingup

I don't really know where to start cause if I start at the beginning I'll be typing all night and through tomorrow,lol,not that my life has been in any way a pleasant life in the last year and a half,well here goes the worst parts anyway yall know how hard headed I am ouch!!!!! My head hurts I get what I deser...

mjferg · mjferg

I have an ex husband who lives in another state.We have been divorced for 12 years.He is an alcoholic,who is now in recovery?Well,that is what he says.We haven't seen each other or been together in those 12 years.The only contact we have had is the occasional Facebook comment. Once in a while we like so...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i found a nice apartment and will start to move in this week. I am to be out of my home by Monday. My xah gets the home i asked for time to sort and clean out. I hope i will not need to return. I am throwing away junk, papers and just plain old stuff. Giving the good stuff away or bringing it somewhere. i am not t...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

As I continue on my journey with my new tool bag thanks to Al-Anon, I am trying to spend less time thinking about the character defects in others and more time reflecting on the issues in my own heart and mind that need tending. So much of who I am at (gulp!!) almost 50 years old (gasp!!) is not serving me...

Mark17 · Mark17

I'm training for a marathon and today I'm supposed to do 12 miles. I'm not at all happy right now, though. I did it! I broke free of my XAW! The divorce was final about one month ago. I remember reading _How Al-Anon Works_ about one year ago and being surprised how many of those marriages ended up in divo...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

i don't really know where to start, so I'll just spit it out.....ah started AA almost 3 months ago during a major crisis. He does seem to have hit his bottom, but wo knows. It took a while to detox at home, but he has just over 2 months of sobriety(, a sponsor, and regular AA attendance. He is working the p...

Debb · Debb

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanityI define a Power greater than me as my HP = my God the Father. I truly believe that he loves and cares for everyone. I talk to him everyday in my prayers and expressions of gratitude for everything he has helped me with, i...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Despite all the drunkenness, I finished my edits and deposited. YAY!!!!! I actually am graduating! My wife spoke with her lawyer and found out she has to have 20-90 days in jail or on electric monitoring. She is changing her address to her mom's house. She is going to live at her mom's because we live 2...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I suck at mothering a teenager. (Preview) Daughter's father has been attempting to engage me in "talking" lately. I never know exactly what he means by this because we don't communicate well and the "talking" always ends with either he expressing bizarre and kind of offensive concerns (like, recently, "shou...	missmeliss	9	537	Jun 23, 2015 by nannyg
	Happiness is a Choice... (Preview) .... so choose happiness today MIP friends.x	el-cee	6	1010	Jun 22, 2015 by LinSC
	Can you see your own shortcomings? (Preview) The disease of alcoholism is a family disease. That means the whole family have symptoms. When we focus solely on the alcoholic we are failing to see ourselves, there's nothing we can do about the drinker, only ourselves. You could spend your whole life complaining about the same boring stuff almost...	el-cee	18	845	Jun 22, 2015 by Jen61
	At wits end.....TaT (Preview) Hi all, For he last few weeks I have been struggling dealing with one of my AS, I just talked to the counselor at the recovery home he is in and it looks lie there may be some major issues far beyond what I was worried about. He needs proper diagnosis and it looks like hes either borderline, narcissistic or m...	nannyg	6	472	Jun 22, 2015 by Jerry F
	The upwards spiral (Preview) 2 years ago, when I was just new here, I wrote a post about how I was isolated and socially kind of phobic. I had an on-line friend (I used to play online computer games a lot) from interstate who was going to coming near me on his way to a wedding and had decided to come and meet me (with his wife). And I was so ne...	missmeliss	3	422	Jun 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	The Natives are Restless.... (Preview) At times, I am 'stuck' in a moment of doing the next right thing. There are situations that 'normal folks' face that the logical response is accurate and appropriate. However, my experience is that when we are dealing with this disease, the 'normal' can become a catalyst for chaos. Long story short...	Iamhere	2	420	Jun 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Son says I have to apologize for being a terrible mother to him (Preview) I actually felt I was a good mother. I was a stay at home mom who "lived" for her 4 children (spaced 5 years apart so i ciuld give each "his" time in his early years. While I was by no means perfect, I spent my years caring for them, reading to them, making art projects with them, taking...	lgnutah	14	703	Jun 22, 2015 by missmeliss
	totally new - 12 years sober, trying to get a drunk friend into aa (Preview) i really don't know what to do. my friend won't try aa. she has all sorts of denialist reasons why not to go. i recently lost a family member (a close one) to alcoholism. i feel as if i have a lot of regrets about that which i know is irrational. but i want to try with this friend, who has kids etc. many sober fr...	ruthstoops	14	527	Jun 22, 2015 by Joe S
	I'm new--Are there online sponsors (Preview) Last week I went to my first Al-Anon meeting. It is a very small group with only 4 members all of them so much younger than me. I just think it would help if I had a sponsor that I might be able to relate better with. Maybe it wasn't just their age or maybe it was just me. I got the feeling they were a close group an...	catlover26	5	491	Jun 22, 2015 by maryjane
	Guilt from my past enabling behavior (Preview) I stopped enabling my adult son (30) almost a year ago - it was mainly financial support - occasional rent checks, occasional car insurance, paying the occasional traffic tickets, occasional groceries, occasional utility bills, etc., etc., etc. - of course, I had been doing it with all good intent...	texas yankee	9	502	Jun 22, 2015 by maryjane
	newbie who needs help (Preview) We have just recently found out that our 40 year old son has a "drinking problem." He was raised in a very religious home with absolutely no history of even drinking alcohol, so this was pretty shocking to us and we don't have a clue how to help him. He has lived in another state for a number of...	sweetie	8	553	Jun 22, 2015 by Mark17
	This ones tough (Preview) i never learned how to love myself,and just how do you open up to. A freind never had I.need all esh I can get here get me back on track plz.....hugs	lookingup	7	638	Jun 22, 2015 by missmeliss
	Scary times here. (Preview) I haven't been on in awhile, but I had posted about my AH who was physically abusive in the past, but not so much anymore, and had even curbed his drinking to a tolerable amount on most occasions, but that the abuse even while sober was still enough to make me want to leave. Well, it really hit the fan last w...	PennyJenny010115	2	539	Jun 22, 2015 by Mark17
	Father's Day (Preview) My father died over 30 years ago, due to lack of self care after a heart attack. I was in my late 20's. So he has missed out on my son growing up, having a daughter of his own, my getting my education which I had had to stop after surgery, and I never got to relate to him as a mature adult. He had some major fl...	Lyne	6	469	Jun 22, 2015 by Mark17
	C2C 6-21 (Preview) Happy first day of summer. Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the power of meditation. The reading breaks down the definition of meditation into an easy to understand form as It defines meditation as ability to think contemplatively and that to contemplate simply means to " view tho...	hotrod	4	421	Jun 22, 2015 by Mark17
	New to Alanon (Preview) I've been in an alcoholic/drug abuse relationship with my husband for over 20 yrs. He is now 2 years sober but the pain and misery is still there. I thought for sure if he stopped doing drugs and alcohol all of problems would go away. I was wrong. It's seems worse now then it was when he was drinking. Befo...	00islandgirl00	9	577	Jun 22, 2015 by Mark17
	Courage to Change 6/16 C2C (Preview) Today's reading discusses detaching with love and allowing our A(s) to hit their own bottom by experiencing natural consequences for their choices and actions. It also discusses that with the best of intentions, we have often interrupted their success too. Only through working the program, an...	Iamhere	9	555	Jun 22, 2015 by Mark17
	Courage to Change 6/17 C2C (Preview) Today's reading reminds us that we are seeking peace through progress, not perfection. Al-Anon helps many of us to cope with crises that we simply could not have managed on our own. The program teaches us to lean on a Power greather than ourselves and discover that we can live and even grow through the...	Iamhere	5	455	Jun 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 6-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 22 speaks about what it was like when we first entered the rooms and how our attitudes have changed since. It points out that many of us unknowingly gave our power away by our attitudes and belief systems. We did this by blaming others for our situation and feelings and...	hotrod	3	362	Jun 22, 2015 by Iamhere
	Per Request from My Last Kayak Trip :) (Preview)	Jozie	12	714	Jun 22, 2015 by Jozie
	Beautiful Day.... (Preview) I am well rested, had my breakfast, hugged my son ... I am going to spend this beautiful day doing some chores and some play Praying for all of you on this beautiful day	Truth	8	385	Jun 21, 2015 by Truth
	Need prayer and support (Preview) Hello everyone, I need advice on a situation with my ds and XAH. My ds will have 2 more years of high school to finish, after being homeschooled for the past 16 years. I have been working full time and that means my XAH has had to step up and handle a lot more of ds' schedule. For now, things are tolerable b...	andromeda	8	497	Jun 21, 2015 by Jill
	C2C 6-20 (Preview) The C2C reading for June 20 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism and how we unconsciously develop negative coping tools to protect ourselves from the insanity of the disease. The reading suggests that we often" react :out of fear -- go silent, and keep quiet when confronted ins...	hotrod	5	326	Jun 20, 2015 by Truth
	I've done it now (Preview) No matter what I do or how hard I work the steps I find myself after a period of time losing it. Today my active qualifier went out to pick up some tea and powerade for me and to stop by Sears for a sparkplug. He was gone for three hours and my thoughts were racing. I tried calling him and he ignored calls, no res...	Tampa	12	673	Jun 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	Good days and bad days (Preview) I'm haveing good days when I'm with healthy ppl but wen I'm alone which I live alone I get depressed my freind told me I'd better be careful or I'd fall into another bad relationship,prolly true.im doing good today so all I can do is take one day at a time ,even baby steps........thanks for listening hugs...	lookingup	8	570	Jun 20, 2015 by Jerry F
	Boundaries (Preview) I am trying to figure out how to discuss this with my A. We have some boundaries in place that we both agreed on. One is that if he knows he will not be home within 20 minutes after work, AA whatever it is he is doing he will call and I too do the same. As of the past couple of weeks, suddenly he no longer calls and w...	Flower49	11	668	Jun 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	johnny cash (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt1Pwfnh5pc	missmeliss	3	450	Jun 20, 2015 by almostThere
	I had no idea!! (Preview) Something dawned on me just now and I googled it ... What part does alcohol consumption play in increasing estrogen in a drinker? I noticed that when AH is beside himself he acts like someone who is not only out of control with emotions but like someone whose hormones are raging as well. I discovered...	Debb	18	744	Jun 20, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 6-19 (Preview) C2C reading for today speaks about taking everything that happens personally and that by doing this I remain a victim and blame others for my discomfort. Accepting life on life's terms is the key . The reading emphasizes the fact that things will not always go our way and that learning how to acc...	hotrod	9	467	Jun 20, 2015 by Mark17
	Awareness won't do it for me! (Preview) I seem to have to learn this lesson over and over and over and over and over. Knowing the pitfalls, knowing the outcomes and knowing the wrong course of action through tried and tested experience just doesn't make bad decisions work any better! For example, for various reasons I am 2 weeks into an 8 week...	missmeliss	9	837	Jun 20, 2015 by Mark17
	Lurked for a bit and then took the plunge. (Preview) Seventeen years ago I was attending family week at my then newly wedded husband's rehab facility after he was arrested for dealing drugs. I met a woman in her early forties, whose husband had held a high profile job in their small town before he made headlines for a drunk driving accident. She said it wa...	KrissySmith	5	563	Jun 20, 2015 by Mark17
	Relearn my lessons (Preview) I guess i needed a reality check. I stated how i felt in an email to ex in just a basic way. Stated i needed more time to move out i was trying to do too much and having a hard time emotionally. I only said "i was hurt very deeply by someone i thought i knew and had trusted" He spins it back that i ha...	Mirandac	12	615	Jun 20, 2015 by Mirandac
	My Experience Working Step 1 (Preview) I am going to share some of what I wrote when in the process of working the the first ten steps and thought I would start at the beginning, with Step 1:We admitted we were powerless over the Alcoholic that our lives had become unmanageable.I began Step One in May of last year, it was a huge relief admitting...	Debb	4	2254	Jun 20, 2015 by Mark17
	C2C - Detachment With Love...Why? (Preview) Today's C2C is one that resonated deeply within my mind and heart early on in my AlAnon journey; it is one of the key texts that allowed me to see the 'Why' and 'How' of Detachment with love. AlAnon introduced me to the concept of allowing the A to face the consequences of their actions; the concept that th...	Enigmatic	11	669	Jun 20, 2015 by Jock
	Tradition 11 (Preview) Tradition 11 has been posted to the Step Work BoardLearn How The Twelve Steps and Traditions Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Here is the link http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60...	hotrod	0	256	Jun 19, 2015 by hotrod
	Crap! (Preview) I have been learning a lot about myself the past couple of weeks.As I reflect on some of my decisions and choices.I realize I am very passive.There have been many times that I have a voice screaming inside my head to say something to someone and I am afraid.I know it goes way back to when I was a child,I didn...	mjferg	7	532	Jun 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today 6-19 - Alcoholic vs Disease of Alcoholism: Our Recovery (Preview) Today's HfT addresses the internal struggles that can accompany step 8. The Thought for the Day reminds us that true healing from the pain we hold from alcoholic behavior begins only when we accept that it was caused by alcohol the disease, not the alcoholic. This thought, along with today's C2C offe...	Enigmatic	2	438	Jun 19, 2015 by hotrod
	Inpatient vs. Outpatient therapy (Preview) My husband detoxed last week - last drink was Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday he was at home feeling sick and Thursday he was so bad that I finally took him to the ER (he felt so bad that he didn't agrue with me). He was admitted for two nights and let me say thank god for Adavin as his symptoms went away prett...	Jazzie18	5	584	Jun 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	Had to Admit!! (Preview) Working Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to anotherhuman being the exact nature of our wrongsUnderstanding that the fear, resentment and lack of confidence that I developed from AH's verbal abuse was holding me back from being a compassionate human being with others and myself. Understa...	Debb	2	440	Jun 19, 2015 by Iamhere
	It works if you work it! (Preview) I haven't posted in a while but need to shout out how grateful I am for this program! I would not be where I am today without it and I am so very grateful. I filed led for divorce in January and Murphy's Law has been in full effect with the progression of things. What should have been a six week process is st...	Tossed Salad	5	587	Jun 19, 2015 by Debb
	first post, first share (Preview) Hi all, I don't really know where to begin with this so I'm going to start here. I have been to a few Al-Anon meetings. everyone was very nice and very welcoming. I put off going for a long time because I was just scared about it, what if I met someone I knew. I have not yet shared at a meeting, I'm not very open a...	ashes	11	584	Jun 18, 2015 by ruthstoops
	Familiar feeling (Preview) I'm sitting with an agitated anxious feeling tonight that I'm very familiar with. I don't know whether it's an al anon feeling, ie related to living with the effects of alcoholism, or whether it's just normal human life, or whether it's just me, so would be interested to hear any ESH. it would be espe...	gillygilly	3	418	Jun 18, 2015 by Debb
	A note about my weird gay post (Preview) I wanted to thank everyone for their responses. I am sorry my question ended up being so weird and maybe patronising. I was actually trying to gain some understanding for myself, to work through a relationship issue I am having. I wasn't meaning to be a weird nosey ghoul. I just found, the question was s...	missmeliss	5	583	Jun 18, 2015 by Debb
	Courage to Change 6/18 C2C (Preview) Today's reading reminds us that we each have our own path in life and in recovery. It suggests that when we arrive at Al-Anon, many of us resent others who appear to have less troubled lives. The program helps us to understand and accept that we are all special and different. We always have exactly wh...	Iamhere	8	497	Jun 18, 2015 by Debb
	Guide to Moral Inventory (Preview) Guide to completing Step 4Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves I believe everyone needs are undoubtedly different, our lives are all different, so it makes sense to me that our needs and moral inventories would be different as well. I always believed that everyone has the pro...	Debb	4	2156	Jun 18, 2015 by hotrod
	I need a meeting!! (Preview) I am out of town and I'm feeling depressed because I have not been to a meeting in a week. I miss the connection that I get from listening to other alanon people. i know my plight has to do with my AH. He is still actively drinking and living with OW. I felt I had to leave my home because I cannot take his drin...	Confused2379	1	292	Jun 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	What I have learned (Preview) I have been seeing a lot of posts about changing the A.How can I make him or her change?How can I help him or her see?I lived like that for so long,I believed it.After becoming miserable with my life I started this program and I have learned that it is always about changing me.The first question I asked mys...	mjferg	6	452	Jun 18, 2015 by missmeliss
	Pity Party (Preview) I've been contemplating seeing a therapist for a long time now. Recently, daughter has started having some counselling and what both her school counsellor and her new extra-curricular counsellor have said to me is that "You should seek some support for yourself, mum". I felt that they m...	missmeliss	14	885	Jun 18, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	no change without honesty (Preview) Ive been slipping lately with my program. Other things have distracted me, some of which ive shared here. Ive kind of lost touch with what im all about. Im redefining myself or other aspects of myself and ive stopped being honest and taking that honest look at my shortcomings and assets. Ive had the reb...	el-cee	7	475	Jun 18, 2015 by Mirandac
	Learning to be detached with love... Man it's hard and confusing. (Preview) 2 weeks ago my Ah had his first aggressive outburst. The ac and door were his victims. that was enough for me to ask him to leave. I have worked and am still working on this with my therapist. I have set up a meeting with a separate therapist for some couples therapy. I have explained to my AH that we need to st...	Lovejailed	9	501	Jun 18, 2015 by Lovejailed
	blah! (Preview) I am on my 2 week break from college.I have been waiting on this break and looking forward to enjoying some summer weather.It has been pouring rain,very cloudy and dreary.Forecast is rain,lots of it,for the whole 2 weeks.Sigh!I am just feeling grumpy today,I still have a lot of work to do on my house,i...	mjferg	1	328	Jun 18, 2015 by Iamhere
	Lost my Serenity this week ... (Preview) It's amazing how quickly one can lose their serenity ... and in this case it has nothing to do with my A. My Mom is suffering from her own progressive disease, which I didn't cause, I can't cure, and I can't control. But, the Al-Anonic in me certainly wants to try and control or take responsibility for ho...	Dave2554	6	601	Jun 18, 2015 by pinkchip
	Hello my dearest alanon family...it's me lookingup (Preview) I don't really know where to start cause if I start at the beginning I'll be typing all night and through tomorrow,lol,not that my life has been in any way a pleasant life in the last year and a half,well here goes the worst parts anyway yall know how hard headed I am ouch!!!!! My head hurts I get what I deser...	lookingup	3	444	Jun 17, 2015 by vorpal
	Another learning experience! (Preview) I have an ex husband who lives in another state.We have been divorced for 12 years.He is an alcoholic,who is now in recovery?Well,that is what he says.We haven't seen each other or been together in those 12 years.The only contact we have had is the occasional Facebook comment. Once in a while we like so...	mjferg	8	564	Jun 17, 2015 by mjferg
	Moving (Preview) i found a nice apartment and will start to move in this week. I am to be out of my home by Monday. My xah gets the home i asked for time to sort and clean out. I hope i will not need to return. I am throwing away junk, papers and just plain old stuff. Giving the good stuff away or bringing it somewhere. i am not t...	Mirandac	23	687	Jun 17, 2015 by Mirandac
	Taking time to focus on my own inventory - some tough issues (Preview) As I continue on my journey with my new tool bag thanks to Al-Anon, I am trying to spend less time thinking about the character defects in others and more time reflecting on the issues in my own heart and mind that need tending. So much of who I am at (gulp!!) almost 50 years old (gasp!!) is not serving me...	Bethany66	5	484	Jun 17, 2015 by el-cee
	12 miles on a day like this? (Preview) I'm training for a marathon and today I'm supposed to do 12 miles. I'm not at all happy right now, though. I did it! I broke free of my XAW! The divorce was final about one month ago. I remember reading _How Al-Anon Works_ about one year ago and being surprised how many of those marriages ended up in divo...	Mark17	11	822	Jun 17, 2015 by Mark17
	So very lonely for human touch (Preview) i don't really know where to start, so I'll just spit it out.....ah started AA almost 3 months ago during a major crisis. He does seem to have hit his bottom, but wo knows. It took a while to detox at home, but he has just over 2 months of sobriety(, a sponsor, and regular AA attendance. He is working the p...	Doingmybest	8	2903	Jun 17, 2015 by Mark17
	I came to believe .... (Preview) Step 2: *Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity*I define a Power greater than me as my HP = my God the Father. I truly believe that he loves and cares for everyone. I talk to him everyday in my prayers and expressions of gratitude for everything he has helped me with, i...	Debb	5	543	Jun 17, 2015 by Mark17
	Well.... I did it??? (Preview) Despite all the drunkenness, I finished my edits and deposited. YAY!!!!! I actually am graduating! My wife spoke with her lawyer and found out she has to have 20-90 days in jail or on electric monitoring. She is changing her address to her mom's house. She is going to live at her mom's because we live 2...	Skorpi	21	864	Jun 17, 2015 by tiredtonite
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.