Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

JerryF · JerryF

There (for me) is no way of measuring perfection and so I stay away from the subject. I am certainly not qualified to discuss that subject but then how do I handle progress? I can inventory honestly the recovery attributes of in this case my significant (very) other, Al-Anon spouse with my Higher Po...

Im · Im

I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart. We spoke...

Freetime · Freetime

The first chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships has members' shares about various experiences about how someone else's alcoholism affected their feelings about their own value, their sexual relationships, and their need for closeness and intimacy. On page 24, a member shares that i...

Bbrave · Bbrave

In today's reading we receive some pretty direct advice about how to manage (not manage) our alcoholic. We must overcome our habit of setting standards for them and expecting those standards to be followed (whether or not this person is still drinking or sober or in AA). Expecting what we believe sho...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

...unhealthy survival mechanisms we developed in a difficult environment, but have outgrown? Assets that have lost proportion? Perhaps...regardless of how we feel about them, Alanon allows us to face them honestly, but without feeling we are responsible for removing them all ourselves. We are...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Six: Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. The author describes how they deal with requests for endo...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, August 16th, the writer shares that harsh words and accusations can be used against the alcoholic. This can cause damage, and asks why we risk hurting someone who is already hurting? The author also asks if they are punishing the drinker or relieving their own pent-up fee...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

Hello everyone! I stumbled on this forum today when googling something and realized I created an account here about five years ago right before DH overdosed and got sober. I am so grateful to have found this again. Im back in al anon and loving it. So many useful tools to remind me to keep in my lane. im wo...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the role fear can play in our lives. The writer describes fear as a catalyst for any character defects that may have been lying dormant. The writer describes the defects as seeming to be powered off, but when fear comes into play they are charged and get m...

a4l · a4l

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I have to be grateful for. I am so delighted that it is true what they say about an attitude of gratitude and how it continues to multiply. When I step into gratitude, life gives me more to be grateful for. It is whale season where I am, and every time I see a moth...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading discusses and offers tools for acknowledging feelings and processing them. In this reading, the Al-anon member recalls making choices in reaction to uncomfortable emotions. Examples given are confusion, fear, anger. The person found that these unresolved feelings were a poor...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

in today's reading the author talks about since coming to Al-Anon, that they have become more aware of choices they never knew they had. If they are uncomfortable about doing something, they have learned that they don't necessarily have to do it, but instead look into their heart and discover their t...

Freetime · Freetime

Hello MIP friends! For this Friday's daily reading, I wanted to try something different. Please let me know your feedback. There is a relatively new CAL book, Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships. I bought this book as soon as Al-Anon published it a couple of years ago -- but I haven't had the cou...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Greetings MIP...Long story short, we need a member to volunteer to be of service on Saturdays. It can be 2 folks rotating, 4 folks rotating, 1 folk weekly, etc. I've tried to fill in and have not done a great job. I golf most days and in summer, we're out the door with coffee in hand early - called dewsweep...

serenity47 · serenity47

I just felt compelled to extend my thankfulness to all whom have been a part of this board in one way or the other, whether it be in a service position or simply as a contributing member. When I stumbled upon it 7 years ago, my life seemed to be very chaotic and i was feeling hopeless and overwhelmed dealin...

Fedora · Fedora

I am listening to my Q who is downstairs on a zoom meeting and he's acting in a manner unusual for him - he's super hyped up. If you didn't know him you wouldn't notice it, but I feel like it's unnaturally hyper "up" behavior. I wonder if he's had some booze; normally it makes him flatter but I'm wondering .....

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author shares about how they handle depression. Some days, the author feels that they just cannot face the world. They would prefer to hide their head under the covers and avoid the world. In these times, the author recognizes just how much they need an Al-Anon meeting. Breaki...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

...and make a bar and door for thy mouth.' So advises a passage in Ecclesiastes, due to the potential damage we may cause to others and ourselves by our own words.Reminder: Reflect on damage I may deliver blasting out my unfiltered first thoughts; such words spoken in the moment likely can cause harm t...

WebHelper · WebHelper

Hi MIP family. It has come to attention that the board is: -Short of moderators; -Webhelper is listed as a moderator; -WebHelper is supposed to be technical support. When I volunteered for the service position of Webmaster, it was on the understanding that it was technical support at the request...

Lyne · Lyne

In the reading for Monday, 8/9, the writer expresses not being able to be themself around others. They were too busy trying to be what others wanted, assuming they would not be acceptable as they were. In F2F meetings, the writer learned that they were not crazy. Other people had also been affected b...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about our ability to speak openly about emotions; when we can do this at meetings it helps give us the courage to do the same in other situations in our lives. The writer describes feeling disappointed when his/her father cancels a trip they had planned toget...

DM2021 · DM2021

I had an opportunity today, to share with AH the fact that if it hadn't been for Al-Anon over the past eight years, that I probably would not still be with him. He did not seem to be surprised!! We have a cat that has allergies and if he sleeps on anything that is not 100% cotton he gets ear infections. I ha...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Please note like other members I have been really alarmed by the amount of chaos there has been in this group This weeks edition with Audrey was all orchestrated by one person That person is of course out to cause maximum disruption and they succeed over and over again . I am an essential worker out in t...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about self-worth. The author stresses that we each have value because we each breathe the breath of humanity. Learning from criticism and being open to what others say is important to the author, but popularity and the ability to please those aroun...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author had a dream about being in a burning room, gasping for breath, and the only exit was blocked by smoke and flames -- but they saw a hand beckoning them from the other side of the flames. They knew that freedom, light, and air were on the other side of the flames, and that to escape certain dea...

Bbrave · Bbrave

"What we get from our association with Al-Anon depends pretty much on what we put into it." We must put effort into reading, listening and using Al-Anon tools to reap the rewards of the program. TODAY'S REMINDER: Do ALL the "things." Read the lessons, apply them to our lives, help others and ourselves...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Xxxx -- Edited by Maresie888 on Tuesday 3rd of August 2021 02:27:59 PM

mamalioness · mamalioness

Gratitude One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. -Sigmund Freud When I am struggling with something today, it is so easy for me to get caught up in my fears and suffering and start questioning why me? As I have grown and progressed in recovery, I have recen...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's writer notes the result of focusing on the what/where/whys of others: inner turmoil. Improvement and progress depend upon the changes I make in my own perceptions and thinking.Reminder: I can change nothing but myself. By accepting that the main source of unhappiness lies within me, I beg...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I had a dream a few night's ago that really startled me. It wasn't a drunk dream for me but a dream where my AH was drunk & drinking. Mind you I have never really seen him drunk. He has been sober for almost 15 years. I have never dreamt of him actually being drunk either. I don't know why I did. It is very od...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 8/2, examines Live and Let Live. The writer says if we could put all the slogans together, wed be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human beings. With Live and Let Live, it is suggested to live life fully, richly, happily, and fulfill our destiny with joy from what we do. ...

Lyne · Lyne

Last night in my home group zoom, I shared two things that Betty taught me. It helped me to remember them, and the group seemed to like them, so I thought I would just post them here this morning. She actually taught me many things that live on inside my head and heart, but I want to keep it short. -Dont hav...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of sharing and the positive effect it has for us in recovery. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home in which he/she did not have a voice in anything. This carried forward to adulthood in Alanon where it was extremely diffic...

mamalioness · mamalioness

Seeing the good. The beauty of our souls shines in many ways. The greatest of these is love. In the spirit of loving kindness, every day a little ugliness is removed; our perspective on life grows broader and deeper. In the spirit of love, our lives become fresher, our souls humbler; evil seems to dis...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I wouldn't have said that my caregiving of others was an issue except I have had to look at my role in the relationship with the qualifier. My caregiving of him. That is in particular the financial caregiving took ne to the point of bankruptcy. In fact my credit was ruined for over 7 years Neverthele...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's share, the author reminds us of the work of a stone cutter. A stone cutter may hit the same rock 99 times without any apparent effect, but on the 100th blow, the rock may split in two. Our work in Al-Anon can be like this as well. Whatever we are working on through the program (acceptance that alc...

mamalioness · mamalioness

What happens to us is not as important as how we respond. The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We did not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the age in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do no...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Sorry I am late posting today, if only I had read and committed to the reading for today!! We are asked to provide the element of quiet to our home, rather than add to the turmoil. AND, it's not the grumbling, I am giving you the "silent treatment" type. "True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I have this lovely little friend who idolizes me, according to her mom, both girls think I am the best, LOL anyway, the 13 year old got rid of her 9 year old sister, told her to go home, she would meet her there (they live up the street from me) and she sidled up to me and wanted me to give her "love advice" I wa...

mamalioness · mamalioness

got a great step 9 story for you: this lady up the street and I had a falling out and we avoided each other and it was just as much me as it was her so I just decided that we need more love and light in this neighborhood so I knocked on her door and asked her if I could have a moment with her?? She was so shocked, sh...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author in Hope for Today shares that they had many illusions about what they could control. At first when they started giving up their illusions, they became angry and bitter. The illusions -- for example, trusting people who were not trustworthy -- were gone, and there was nothing in its p...

mamalioness · mamalioness

the forum, daily reflection for July 28th is about Sometimes Change is necessary Despite living turbulent, chaotic lives, we still don't like change. So we find our security in familiar places, rather then reach out for the unknown that is ahead of us This is not real security, because even the fam...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page reminds that if ending active alcoholism was the answer to all our relationship challenges, all relationships would be perfect in the absence of alcoholism. Unarguably, alcoholism increases the challenges in a relationship by aggravating and putting additional strain or emphasi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

...is trying to determine the why of an alcoholic's drinking, or actions when not drinking...in short, the why's of someone outside ourselves. Some will not give up trying, or coming up with reasons why they need to. In truth, even if we are a psych/olog/iatr/ist it is neither important or helpful fo...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 7/26, addresses the problem of having illusions. The author talks about the illusion of having control over someone else. Tried as they might, they only received frustration. The author realized they could give up the illusion of having control. At that point they coul...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author entered the rooms of Al-Anon very grim and serious. The smiles and laughter among members were hard to understand. As time went by, and they kept coming back, our author became able to laugh -- even about their own role in painful situations. The gift of laughter meant no longer see...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. The author clarifies that doing God's will doesn't mean performing heroic...

Yarrow · Yarrow

Greetings! I just attended my first Al Anon meeting yesterday, and am reaching out to the community for some advice on a current situation I am dealing with. First I want to apologize in advance for the long message---there's a bit of back story needed. My spouse and I spent the past year-and-a-ha...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how some of us have used hiding as a reaction to living with active alcoholism. The writer describes finding ways to disappear before any trouble/chaos had a chance to grow. The writer goes on to say that this instinct has shown up in adulthood in the for...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Today we are challenged not to look for the root of our problems in the disease of alcoholism. TODAY'S REMINDER: Do I read up on alcoholism because I still hope I can find a way to make my spouse stop drinking? Do I blame all the familys adversities on the alcoholic, sober or not? Have I the courage to face...

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author shares reflections on an opinion they held prior to Al-Anon: "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it." The author previously thought that their loved ones would not survive unless they interfered. "Let go and Let God" is one slogan that can he...

JerryF · JerryF

My mind and memories are filled with my former, now deceased sponsor. My eldest alcoholic/addict son is now openly preaching on facebook opportunities with others. He is preaching God as he presently understands God and I am not seeing pleas from others in the family about the sick behaviors I u...

Bbrave · Bbrave

Complacency is the enemy of personal growth. Being sure we are right blocks out understanding and kindness and leads us to judging others. TODAY'S REMINDER: Let me begin by being a little critical of my iron resolution to have things my own way. ---------- Not sure I have any wisdom here, only a refle...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 7/19, describes the difference between walls and boundaries. The writer says that walls are rigid and solid. They keep others out and themself trapped. Boundaries are moveable, flexible, and changeable, so they can be opened and closed. Boundaries let you say no witho...

Lillibirdy · Lillibirdy

Has anyone had experience with the vivatrol shot. How long have side affects last. DH just came out of rehab and was so happy and posative, 2 days later depressed and headaches.

WebHelper · WebHelper

https://alanon.activeboard.com/t67756043/position-open-mip-webmaster/

qwerty · qwerty

Five years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had cheated on me. This began some serious issues between us, which resulted in some major changes in his life. His father was an alcoholic, and I knew he drank too much, but I never really considered him a full-blown alcoholic until he declared hi...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about finding a way to replace self-pity with humor. The writer describes doing this after realizing that she was using al-anon as a place to complain. She was describing her life with her spouse and the chaos of it when she was interrupted by someone laughin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Starting with the Quote for the day - "As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." Reminder: My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I h...

mamalioness · mamalioness

I thought I would do something program but kind of fun in that to keep me from thinking about the remaining alcoholic in my life, I have kind of a list and I do I step ten on what did I do to take care of me The slogan keep the focus on me is there for a very good reason. It tells me to stay in my lane and it also tells...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	progress not perfection (Preview) There (for me) is no way of measuring perfection and so I stay away from the subject. I am certainly not qualified to discuss that subject but then how do I handle progress? I can inventory honestly the recovery attributes of in this case my significant (very) other, Al-Anon spouse with my Higher Po...	JerryF	8	448	Aug 20, 2021 by JerryF
	Back again - hitting meeting tomorrow (Preview) I was last on this chatroom in 2018 talking about my ABF. Well, hes been in and out of my life many times since we met in 2015 and now is one of those moments again. Hes ended it every time before, due to his fear of what moving the relationship forward would mean, as we live a little over an hour apart. We spoke...	Im	3	335	Aug 20, 2021 by JerryF
	August 20 - Intimacy Book (Preview) The first chapter of Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships has members' shares about various experiences about how someone else's alcoholism affected their feelings about their own value, their sexual relationships, and their need for closeness and intimacy. On page 24, a member shares that i...	Freetime	2	332	Aug 20, 2021 by DM2021
	Aug. 12, ODAT - Old habits die hard (Preview) In today's reading we receive some pretty direct advice about how to manage (not manage) our alcoholic. We must overcome our habit of setting standards for them and expecting those standards to be followed (whether or not this person is still drinking or sober or in AA). Expecting what we believe sho...	Bbrave	5	1150	Aug 20, 2021 by Im
	8/17/21 C2C – Defects of Character… (Preview) ...unhealthy survival mechanisms we developed in a difficult environment, but have outgrown? Assets that have lost proportion? Perhaps...regardless of how we feel about them, Alanon allows us to face them honestly, but without feeling we are responsible for removing them all ourselves. We are...	Enigmatic	5	2540	Aug 19, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change August 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in C2C is about Tradition Six: Our Family Groups ought never endorse, finance, or lend our name to any outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary spiritual aim. The author describes how they deal with requests for endo...	Skorpi	5	1714	Aug 19, 2021 by a4l
	ODAT in alanon, harsh words (Preview) In the reading for Monday, August 16th, the writer shares that harsh words and accusations can be used against the alcoholic. This can cause damage, and asks why we risk hurting someone who is already hurting? The author also asks if they are punishing the drinker or relieving their own pent-up fee...	Lyne	4	823	Aug 16, 2021 by DM2021
	Dry Drunk spouse (Preview) Hello everyone! I stumbled on this forum today when googling something and realized I created an account here about five years ago right before DH overdosed and got sober. I am so grateful to have found this again. Im back in al anon and loving it. So many useful tools to remind me to keep in my lane. im wo...	Prissykitty	10	437	Aug 16, 2021 by Lyne
	Hope for Today Aug 15 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about the role fear can play in our lives. The writer describes fear as a catalyst for any character defects that may have been lying dormant. The writer describes the defects as seeming to be powered off, but when fear comes into play they are charged and get m...	yanksfan51	3	1298	Aug 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	Growth and gratitude (Preview) I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I have to be grateful for. I am so delighted that it is true what they say about an attitude of gratitude and how it continues to multiply. When I step into gratitude, life gives me more to be grateful for. It is whale season where I am, and every time I see a moth...	a4l	10	1364	Aug 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	August 14th Hope for Today - Feelings (Preview) Today's reading discusses and offers tools for acknowledging feelings and processing them. In this reading, the Al-anon member recalls making choices in reaction to uncomfortable emotions. Examples given are confusion, fear, anger. The person found that these unresolved feelings were a poor...	tiredtonite	7	1316	Aug 14, 2021 by JerryF
	August 14th, C2C, choices (Preview) in today's reading the author talks about since coming to Al-Anon, that they have become more aware of choices they never knew they had. If they are uncomfortable about doing something, they have learned that they don't necessarily have to do it, but instead look into their heart and discover their t...	Bettertomorrow	6	333	Aug 14, 2021 by Iamhere
	August 13 - Al-Anon's Intimacy Book (Preview) Hello MIP friends! For this Friday's daily reading, I wanted to try something different. Please let me know your feedback. There is a relatively new CAL book, Intimacy in Alcoholic Relationships. I bought this book as soon as Al-Anon published it a couple of years ago -- but I haven't had the cou...	Freetime	5	1176	Aug 13, 2021 by a4l
	Saturday Service - Literature Daily Volunteer (Preview) Greetings MIP...Long story short, we need a member to volunteer to be of service on Saturdays. It can be 2 folks rotating, 4 folks rotating, 1 folk weekly, etc. I've tried to fill in and have not done a great job. I golf most days and in summer, we're out the door with coffee in hand early - called dewsweep...	Iamhere	8	1799	Aug 13, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	Thank you (Preview) I just felt compelled to extend my thankfulness to all whom have been a part of this board in one way or the other, whether it be in a service position or simply as a contributing member. When I stumbled upon it 7 years ago, my life seemed to be very chaotic and i was feeling hopeless and overwhelmed dealin...	serenity47	6	1941	Aug 12, 2021 by Iamhere
	manic behavior from drinking? (Preview) I am listening to my Q who is downstairs on a zoom meeting and he's acting in a manner unusual for him - he's super hyped up. If you didn't know him you wouldn't notice it, but I feel like it's unnaturally hyper "up" behavior. I wonder if he's had some booze; normally it makes him flatter but I'm wondering .....	Fedora	12	2352	Aug 12, 2021 by Freetime
	Courage to Change August 11 (Preview) In today's reading, the author shares about how they handle depression. Some days, the author feels that they just cannot face the world. They would prefer to hide their head under the covers and avoid the world. In these times, the author recognizes just how much they need an Al-Anon meeting. Breaki...	Skorpi	4	1546	Aug 11, 2021 by Iamhere
	8/10/21 ODAT – Weigh Thy Words in a Balance… (Preview) ...and make a bar and door for thy mouth.' So advises a passage in Ecclesiastes, due to the potential damage we may cause to others and ourselves by our own words.Reminder: Reflect on damage I may deliver blasting out my unfiltered first thoughts; such words spoken in the moment likely can cause harm t...	Enigmatic	4	329	Aug 11, 2021 by serenity47
	Board Moderation. (Preview) Hi MIP family. It has come to attention that the board is: -Short of moderators; -Webhelper is listed as a moderator; -WebHelper is supposed to be technical support. When I volunteered for the service position of Webmaster, it was on the understanding that it was technical support at the request...	WebHelper	17	2164	Aug 10, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	C2C, 8/9, outward appearances (Preview) In the reading for Monday, 8/9, the writer expresses not being able to be themself around others. They were too busy trying to be what others wanted, assuming they would not be acceptable as they were. In F2F meetings, the writer learned that they were not crazy. Other people had also been affected b...	Lyne	4	353	Aug 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Aug 8 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about our ability to speak openly about emotions; when we can do this at meetings it helps give us the courage to do the same in other situations in our lives. The writer describes feeling disappointed when his/her father cancels a trip they had planned toget...	yanksfan51	7	2116	Aug 9, 2021 by mamalioness
	Thought I would share (Preview) I had an opportunity today, to share with AH the fact that if it hadn't been for Al-Anon over the past eight years, that I probably would not still be with him. He did not seem to be surprised!! We have a cat that has allergies and if he sleeps on anything that is not 100% cotton he gets ear infections. I ha...	DM2021	19	1824	Aug 8, 2021 by mamalioness
	Taking a break from this grouo (closed) (Preview) Please note like other members I have been really alarmed by the amount of chaos there has been in this group This weeks edition with Audrey was all orchestrated by one person That person is of course out to cause maximum disruption and they succeed over and over again . I am an essential worker out in t...	Maresie888	11	1769	Aug 8, 2021 by WebHelper
	Courage to Change August 4 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about self-worth. The author stresses that we each have value because we each breathe the breath of humanity. Learning from criticism and being open to what others say is important to the author, but popularity and the ability to please those aroun...	Skorpi	6	3218	Aug 8, 2021 by Lyne
	August 6 - C2C - Walking Through the Fire (Preview) Today's author had a dream about being in a burning room, gasping for breath, and the only exit was blocked by smoke and flames -- but they saw a hand beckoning them from the other side of the flames. They knew that freedom, light, and air were on the other side of the flames, and that to escape certain dea...	Freetime	8	1409	Aug 6, 2021 by Iamhere
	Aug. 5, ODAT - working for myself (Preview) "What we get from our association with Al-Anon depends pretty much on what we put into it." We must put effort into reading, listening and using Al-Anon tools to reap the rewards of the program. TODAY'S REMINDER: Do ALL the "things." Read the lessons, apply them to our lives, help others and ourselves...	Bbrave	5	2317	Aug 5, 2021 by Iamhere
	Boundaries redax (Preview) Xxxx -- Edited by Maresie888 on Tuesday 3rd of August 2021 02:27:59 PM	Maresie888	4	1985	Aug 5, 2021 by mamalioness
	3 AUG_Alanon forum Magazine_working thru the past (Preview) Gratitude One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. -Sigmund Freud When I am struggling with something today, it is so easy for me to get caught up in my fears and suffering and start questioning why me? As I have grown and progressed in recovery, I have recen...	mamalioness	2	1474	Aug 4, 2021 by Lyne
	8/3/21 ODAT – I can Change Nothing but Myself (Preview) Today's writer notes the result of focusing on the what/where/whys of others: inner turmoil. Improvement and progress depend upon the changes I make in my own perceptions and thinking.Reminder: I can change nothing but myself. By accepting that the main source of unhappiness lies within me, I beg...	Enigmatic	5	1898	Aug 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	have you ever? dream(feedback please) (Preview) I had a dream a few night's ago that really startled me. It wasn't a drunk dream for me but a dream where my AH was drunk & drinking. Mind you I have never really seen him drunk. He has been sober for almost 15 years. I have never dreamt of him actually being drunk either. I don't know why I did. It is very od...	Hoot Nanny	4	2194	Aug 3, 2021 by Hoot Nanny
	ODAT in alanon, 8/2, Live and Let Live (Preview) The reading for Monday, 8/2, examines Live and Let Live. The writer says if we could put all the slogans together, wed be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human beings. With Live and Let Live, it is suggested to live life fully, richly, happily, and fulfill our destiny with joy from what we do. ...	Lyne	10	2022	Aug 3, 2021 by mamalioness
	Two Bettyisms (Preview) Last night in my home group zoom, I shared two things that Betty taught me. It helped me to remember them, and the group seemed to like them, so I thought I would just post them here this morning. She actually taught me many things that live on inside my head and heart, but I want to keep it short. -Dont hav...	Lyne	6	1728	Aug 2, 2021 by Hoot Nanny
	Hope for Today Aug 1 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of sharing and the positive effect it has for us in recovery. The writer describes growing up in an alcoholic home in which he/she did not have a voice in anything. This carried forward to adulthood in Alanon where it was extremely diffic...	yanksfan51	8	3042	Aug 2, 2021 by Maresie888
	1 AUG_Alanon_forum_seeing the good (Preview) Seeing the good. The beauty of our souls shines in many ways. The greatest of these is love. In the spirit of loving kindness, every day a little ugliness is removed; our perspective on life grows broader and deeper. In the spirit of love, our lives become fresher, our souls humbler; evil seems to dis...	mamalioness	2	1569	Aug 2, 2021 by mamalioness
	Caregiving (Preview) I wouldn't have said that my caregiving of others was an issue except I have had to look at my role in the relationship with the qualifier. My caregiving of him. That is in particular the financial caregiving took ne to the point of bankruptcy. In fact my credit was ruined for over 7 years Neverthele...	Maresie888	7	2201	Aug 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change July 28 (Preview) In today's share, the author reminds us of the work of a stone cutter. A stone cutter may hit the same rock 99 times without any apparent effect, but on the 100th blow, the rock may split in two. Our work in Al-Anon can be like this as well. Whatever we are working on through the program (acceptance that alc...	Skorpi	4	2059	Aug 1, 2021 by Lyne
	JUL 30_Alanon_Forum_Playing the hand we got (Preview) What happens to us is not as important as how we respond. The external events of our lives are largely beyond our control. We did not choose our parents, our emotional environment, the age in which we live, our body type, or the flow of circumstances that shape our experience. These are givens. We do no...	mamalioness	2	1160	Jul 31, 2021 by a4l
	July 29, ODAT - Be QUIET! (Preview) Sorry I am late posting today, if only I had read and committed to the reading for today!! We are asked to provide the element of quiet to our home, rather than add to the turmoil. AND, it's not the grumbling, I am giving you the "silent treatment" type. "True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance...	Bbrave	6	1481	Jul 31, 2021 by a4l
	I guess it just comes naturally when you work it enough (Preview) I have this lovely little friend who idolizes me, according to her mom, both girls think I am the best, LOL anyway, the 13 year old got rid of her 9 year old sister, told her to go home, she would meet her there (they live up the street from me) and she sidled up to me and wanted me to give her "love advice" I wa...	mamalioness	1	1371	Jul 31, 2021 by DM2021
	got a great step 9 story1!! (Preview) got a great step 9 story for you: this lady up the street and I had a falling out and we avoided each other and it was just as much me as it was her so I just decided that we need more love and light in this neighborhood so I knocked on her door and asked her if I could have a moment with her?? She was so shocked, sh...	mamalioness	2	362	Jul 31, 2021 by DM2021
	Hope for Today, July 30 - Let It Begin With Me (Preview) Today's author in Hope for Today shares that they had many illusions about what they could control. At first when they started giving up their illusions, they became angry and bitter. The illusions -- for example, trusting people who were not trustworthy -- were gone, and there was nothing in its p...	Freetime	4	371	Jul 30, 2021 by Iamhere
	JUL 28th_Al-anon magazine-the forum-Daily reflection--CHANGE (Preview) the forum, daily reflection for July 28th is about Sometimes Change is necessary Despite living turbulent, chaotic lives, we still don't like change. So we find our security in familiar places, rather then reach out for the unknown that is ahead of us This is not real security, because even the fam...	mamalioness	3	768	Jul 29, 2021 by Iamhere
	7/27/21 One Day at a Time - Alanon: Good for All Our Affairs (Preview) Today's page reminds that if ending active alcoholism was the answer to all our relationship challenges, all relationships would be perfect in the absence of alcoholism. Unarguably, alcoholism increases the challenges in a relationship by aggravating and putting additional strain or emphasi...	Enigmatic	4	469	Jul 27, 2021 by Iamhere
	7/20/21 ODAT – An Itch that Can’t be Scratched… (Preview) ...is trying to determine the why of an alcoholic's drinking, or actions when not drinking...in short, the why's of someone outside ourselves. Some will not give up trying, or coming up with reasons why they need to. In truth, even if we are a psych/olog/iatr/ist it is neither important or helpful fo...	Enigmatic	8	1913	Jul 26, 2021 by mamalioness
	C2C, 7/26, illusions can make life unmanageable (Preview) The reading for Monday, 7/26, addresses the problem of having illusions. The author talks about the illusion of having control over someone else. Tried as they might, they only received frustration. The author realized they could give up the illusion of having control. At that point they coul...	Lyne	5	813	Jul 26, 2021 by mamalioness
	Courage to Change, July 23 - Humor (Preview) Today's author entered the rooms of Al-Anon very grim and serious. The smiles and laughter among members were hard to understand. As time went by, and they kept coming back, our author became able to laugh -- even about their own role in painful situations. The gift of laughter meant no longer see...	Freetime	7	808	Jul 26, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change 7/24 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. The author clarifies that doing God's will doesn't mean performing heroic...	Iamhere	5	342	Jul 26, 2021 by Maresie888
	Questions about supporting an addicted teen and her parent foster parenting teens marijuana parents (Preview) Greetings! I just attended my first Al Anon meeting yesterday, and am reaching out to the community for some advice on a current situation I am dealing with. First I want to apologize in advance for the long message---there's a bit of back story needed. My spouse and I spent the past year-and-a-ha...	Yarrow	8	2813	Jul 26, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today July 25 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about how some of us have used hiding as a reaction to living with active alcoholism. The writer describes finding ways to disappear before any trouble/chaos had a chance to grow. The writer goes on to say that this instinct has shown up in adulthood in the for...	yanksfan51	6	882	Jul 25, 2021 by Iamhere
	July 22, ODAT - It is all about ME (Preview) Today we are challenged not to look for the root of our problems in the disease of alcoholism. TODAY'S REMINDER: Do I read up on alcoholism because I still hope I can find a way to make my spouse stop drinking? Do I blame all the familys adversities on the alcoholic, sober or not? Have I the courage to face...	Bbrave	5	375	Jul 25, 2021 by Lyne
	Courage to Change July 21 (Preview) In today's reading, the author shares reflections on an opinion they held prior to Al-Anon: "The people I love won't take care of themselves, so I have to do it." The author previously thought that their loved ones would not survive unless they interfered. "Let go and Let God" is one slogan that can he...	Skorpi	4	764	Jul 21, 2021 by Maresie888
	Maybe and if so ....Good!! (Preview) My mind and memories are filled with my former, now deceased sponsor. My eldest alcoholic/addict son is now openly preaching on facebook opportunities with others. He is preaching God as he presently understands God and I am not seeing pleas from others in the family about the sick behaviors I u...	JerryF	7	409	Jul 21, 2021 by JerryF
	July 15, ODAT - Know your enemy (Preview) Complacency is the enemy of personal growth. Being sure we are right blocks out understanding and kindness and leads us to judging others. TODAY'S REMINDER: Let me begin by being a little critical of my iron resolution to have things my own way. ---------- Not sure I have any wisdom here, only a refle...	Bbrave	9	2364	Jul 20, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, Monday, 7/19, the difference between walls and boundaries (Preview) The reading for Monday, 7/19, describes the difference between walls and boundaries. The writer says that walls are rigid and solid. They keep others out and themself trapped. Boundaries are moveable, flexible, and changeable, so they can be opened and closed. Boundaries let you say no witho...	Lyne	7	891	Jul 19, 2021 by Iamhere
	Newly sober DH, vivatrol (Preview) Has anyone had experience with the vivatrol shot. How long have side affects last. DH just came out of rehab and was so happy and posative, 2 days later depressed and headaches.	Lillibirdy	7	2113	Jul 19, 2021 by JerryF
	New Business on the Business Forum: MIP Webmaster Needed (closed) (Preview) https://alanon.activeboard.com/t67756043/position-open-mip-webmaster/	WebHelper	0	1150	Jul 19, 2021 by WebHelper
	Five years sober: my husband is BORING (Preview) Five years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had cheated on me. This began some serious issues between us, which resulted in some major changes in his life. His father was an alcoholic, and I knew he drank too much, but I never really considered him a full-blown alcoholic until he declared hi...	qwerty	11	2277	Jul 19, 2021 by Seahorse7
	Hope for Today July 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about finding a way to replace self-pity with humor. The writer describes doing this after realizing that she was using al-anon as a place to complain. She was describing her life with her spouse and the chaos of it when she was interrupted by someone laughin...	yanksfan51	3	768	Jul 18, 2021 by Daffodils
	C2C - 7/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Starting with the Quote for the day - "As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others' problems instead of trying to solve them." Reminder: My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I h...	Iamhere	4	1960	Jul 18, 2021 by Lyne
	Self care Check in. Wednesday (Preview) I thought I would do something program but kind of fun in that to keep me from thinking about the remaining alcoholic in my life, I have kind of a list and I do I step ten on what did I do to take care of me The slogan keep the focus on me is there for a very good reason. It tells me to stay in my lane and it also tells...	mamalioness	6	2173	Jul 17, 2021 by Maresie888
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