The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about acknowledging and feeling our feelings rather than stamping them down. The writer describes having grown up in an alcoholic home where the lesson was dont feel. The writer grew up distrusting feelings and in effect distrusting him/her-self. The writer began to divert emotions by focusing on other things like work, alcohol use and school. The writer then began to see the best way to avoid feelings was to put all attention and focus in trying to control the alcoholism in the home. Every crisis or chaotic situation became the perfect way to get lost and avoid emotions.
The writer found in al-anon a safe place to begin to understand the emotional self. People were sharing at meetings and no one was judging. The slogans were a help in responding when feelings arose. The writer began to see that there was a way to keep emotions like joy and contentment and release emotions like fear or resentment.
I have noticed that when I want to avoid feelings like pain or resentment I will attempt to be funny, often with a sarcastic edge. It took a long time for me to see that this type of humor was just me avoiding what I was actually feeling, not to mention sarcasm has an edge of meanness. Like the writer, I have found a healthier way to acknowledge emotions through the readings and slogans of al-anon. When things feel overwhelming, the simplicity of the Serenity Prayer can be calming.
The Thought for the Day reminds us: Al-Anon gives me a safe environment to experience and let go of the painful feelings I hold deep inside me.
Thank you Mary for your service, and I can relate to your share, as I love sarcastic humor... but lately I have come to realize that it does have an unkind edge to it. I especially enjoyed Debb's quote from Thoreau!
I was a child, and then adult who "felt too much." I would cry at the drop of a hat! Back in the day, people didn't know exactly how to deal with that. I learned that my emotions 1) could be hard for others to handle and 2) could be a liability when dealing with "energy vampires" (Google it). So I developed coping strategies. Now I just know that I am classified as an Empath, and that there is nothing inherently wrong with me, and I can't always "Buck up!" Knowing this has also helped me in my interactions with my child... he is very much like me in many ways. It's kind of funny that my greatest desire since I was perhaps 5, was to work as veterinarian. I am a Biology major/micro minor and worked as a Vet Tech for 12 years. It was in this capacity that I had to deal with a lot of very strong emotions, dealing with sick and dying pets. I became very good at masking/protecting my feelings. It served me well then, and sadly, still worked for me with an addicted SO. However, it is definitely not an authentic life. In walked Al-Anon and I began to 1) learn how to manage my feelings, and 2) understand when I was using them to my detriment or just denying them altogether.
I am grateful for the things I learn within the AL-Anon program. I hope you all enjoy this Sunday! Make it your own!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
