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Post Info TOPIC: I Do Feel Better, but .....


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 916
Date:
I Do Feel Better, but .....


I think I blew it last night because I allowed myself to get to a burning point

concerning the constant control that AH exerts on just about everything I do.

The constant, holy than thou opinions and put downs sometimes just gets to

me and I think this time it is because I have been trying to recover from some

health issues since April.  I am on the mend, but reached a point last night 

where I did not care and let him have it.  It actually started off by me asking

(very nicely) for him to stop putting his bedroom light on 5 hours before he

goes to bed, because when I go to bed I have to close my door (yes we sleep

in separate rooms) in order to block the light.  Now ordinarily he would walk

around the house and let me know in no uncertain terms that he turns things

off that I left on.  This time I asked very nicely, would you please stop leaving

your bedroom light on 5 hrs. before you even approach the room to go to bed. 

Well he blew up, which is what I expected, cause he is so perfect, and I told him

that he was getting what he dishes out and that by he living in his own little "snow

globe" world of denial makes him a very unrealistic person/partner.  I turned his

light off and will continue to do that as long as he leaves it on.  I have had enough.

You know I actually feel better, I am not anger or sorry.  Such a stupid thing

as a bedroom light can cause such consternation with an alcoholic!!!  He left for

work this morning without saying good-bye, like the reese's commercial ... "not sorry".

I know I should have handed to my HP, that part I feel guilty about.

Lessons to be learned from this, I am sure!!

 

 



__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

 



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 439
Date:

Good Morning ((DM2021)). I am sorry that you have added stress that interferes with your physical healing . You are an amazing woman and I'm grateful to have the privilege to learn from your example. Hope your day gets better and better.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1400
Date:

{{{{DM}}}}, I understand how that light issue could stress you out. My late AH would sometimes play loud music in the middle of the night, and when I politely asked him to turn down the volume he would turn it totally off and then act pissed off about it. No apology that the loud music had interrupted my sleep. Anyway, I can relate to losing your cool about the bedroom light. I think it would take black-belt level Al-Anon skills to remain calm in that situation, and I'm glad you have a plan on how to handle it going forward. I hope you can be gentle with yourself, and that you find a way to get a good night's sleep.

__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 916
Date:

I am grateful that you both, Daffodils and FT are here to share this journey with me and

equally grateful for both your input. I have learned in Al-Anon that when I do not share

I do not grow.

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1334
Date:

 

You did a good inventory of the situation which is what I do also when I find myself the victim of such.  After I do the inventory I give myself permission and encouragement to do an amends which for me is the whole process.  Sometimes I for get and then other times I do it a bit late.  I often try to do the whole step and then I speak with my Higher Power regarding forgiveness of others and practicing compassion and empathy and understanding.  When that is done myside of the street is nice and clean.  Good Job and a pat on the back!!!

 



__________________
Jerry F


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 916
Date:

{{JerryF}} Thank you! I knew what I did had to be done, but could not put my finger on why it felt right!

It is not something I did lightly and not something I would do on a regular basis, but felt necessary for my own health

it was necessary.

I am always speaking to HP and am in a forgiving/compassionate mindset throughout! I have never gone about an

inventory this way and have learned that this is another way to do one!! Thank you so much for the pat on the back!!

{{HUGS}}

__________________

"Forgiveness doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it

does prevent bad behavior from destroying your heart". ~ unknown

 

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