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What to do with loved ones estate after they pass?
(Preview)
Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...
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lookingup
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11
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535
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New And Out Of Control
(Preview)
Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...
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TessaB
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4
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454
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Harder now that he's sober
(Preview)
Ugh. I swear these mood swings, daily physical ailments and just general anger and unavailability is almost harder than it was when he was actively using.
Just needed to that off my chest to people that understand.
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Prissykitty
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17
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937
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Detachment...what is it really?
(Preview)
ive read quite a few books as well as writing on here...what exactly is detachmen? The way I see it is that you can still love someone and support, but not run to their aide. I've been working very hard on this and it's even harder because I do not think active alcoholics understand, which makes it even har...
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vvv
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12
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514
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Hope for Today Nov 29
(Preview)
Good morning all- Today's reading is about our slogan 'live and let live'. It seems I cannot have enough reminders about staying in my own business and out of everyone else's! The writer describes a childhood w an active A father, but who felt resentment and anger toward mother for her role in it and he...
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yanksfan51
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5
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356
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Welcome back Slogan_Jim
(Preview)
Hi my name is Jim and I'm a grateful member of al-anon. It's been awhile. I'm glad I thought of the fellowship recently. I havn't been to a meeting in months....posted here in maybe a year... I felt it was time for me to grow in a different direction in different areas of my life. It was time to break away fro...
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slogan_jim
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5
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879
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MIP Intergroup... sometime...?
(Preview)
Hi y'all, The Alanon board is by far the biggest board in the MIP clubhouse. I belong to another group as well, "across the corridor". While in the USA I went to meetings in towns like Sarasota, Rapid City, Atlanta, Lower Manhattan, and Mill Valley Ca. Many places have a clubhouse, started by AA....
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DavidG
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7
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419
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Drinking While Driving
(Preview)
Happy Sunday! I would like to know if anyone has known their A to be above the legal limit and driving. Did you practice loving detachment? Did you call the authorities? Please share your experiences.
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_bunny_
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12
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488
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Holiday UPdate :)
(Preview)
Had a lovely thanksgiving with my boyfriends family. They live about 1 1/2 hours away from here this was the first car trip of that length with the kids .. I wondered how we would all do in a confined space .. LOL. It was a blast! We would be fine .. my poor boyfriend would run for the hills. The kids are re...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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417
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So many questions. Newbie
(Preview)
I'm new to this and need help. Where do I start? Meetings? what to expect. Please help me.
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Lou Lou
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8
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450
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STEP 7
(Preview)
STEP 7 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP WORK BOARD. PLEASE JOIN IN AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. earn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! http://stepwork.activeboard...
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hotrod
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1
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590
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WAIT
(Preview)
Listen to an al-anon speaker on u-tube and heard this-WAIT-meaning why am I talking...and WASTE-Why am I still talking... I had to share this..it made me think and go mmm.
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joker
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4
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583
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One Day at a Time in AlAnon 11/28/16
(Preview)
One saying in AlAnon is that 'No situation is hopeless.' Our reading notes that hope and despair describe only our feelings about a situation, not the situation or our life itself. This is an important distinction, because the only thing separating a hopeless feeling from a hopeful feeling is belie...
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Enigmatic
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3
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443
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Do you find your A is much more than an A?
(Preview)
So, I know an alcoholic is an addict. An addict is an addict. But, I've come to learn my A is not just an alcoholic, but also likes pills. He will tell me he's going to get weed, but I have suspicions that it's more than that. I have found text messages about pills, Facebook messages, and most recently he tol...
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madowl86
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6
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392
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Esh on Etiguette
(Preview)
My RAH celebrated 60 days of sobriety yesterday. I am confused as what to do when he shares this with me and that he got a round of applause. I have stuck to, "I am happy for you" Is that the right thing? Does anybody have any experience in acknowledging the accomplishment but staying on your side...
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Fooled
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15
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523
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SEEING MYSELF
(Preview)
Now that i have no contact with my XAH, I can see myself. There are some behaviors etc that I dont like in myself. Because of neglect and abandonment issues as a child, i occasionally have a meltdown, when im sick or not up to par. I was berated as a child when i got ill or needed help. So these past few days i ha...
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YARNCRAZY
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2
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338
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meetings
(Preview)
How long do meetings last? And, I logged into meeting, but looked like I was the only one and it should have been half way through.
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Jage1991
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2
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263
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Will I ever learn the stove is hot (do not touch it)
(Preview)
Will I ever learn this, my story backs up to where most already remembers my xabf,I had asked for prayers from y'all,n that I'd fill y'all in later.here it is,my truth....I had my xabf back in my home,I know kickk me,lol,1000000s times,this time was ,not good. running from law,hiding out,53 yo,got ch...
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lookingup
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9
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424
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New to group. I need help!
(Preview)
I'm new to the board. My 18 year old son is an addict. I carry so much guilt and question everyday where my little boy went and who this young man who shows no emotion is.
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Shel66
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3
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327
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Off the wagon
(Preview)
My Son is an alcoholic, he went thru detox and checked into a rehab facility for a month. He got out 3 days ago and I found a bottle in his bag tonight. He is not a kid. He is 38 years old but still my son. I don't know what to say to him. I want to fix this but he is a grown man and I don't know how to talk to him about th...
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Wray
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2
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404
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Discuss findings with AH
(Preview)
Can I discuss what I have learned this past week with my husband? About alcoholism, al anon, etc even though he has not yet admitted or realized there is a problem?
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Jage1991
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8
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456
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Courage to Change reading 11-27-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for November 27 suggests that as the result of of living with the disease of alcoholism, many of us have developed survivor tools in order to live . The reading points out that we have been through many struggles and that we are more than our struggles, and more than our troubles. We are...
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hotrod
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1
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392
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Gratitude, of course . . .
(Preview)
I logged on here to wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving day, and of course, the long list of people and things I'm thankful for started to roll through my brain - there was so much that it was like a 45 RPM record playing on 78 RPM (LOL, who else remembers records??). Usually, when I review my almost endles...
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texas yankee
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8
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411
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New to Al-Anon and in need of some help
(Preview)
Hello; Ive never used a forum before to reach out to total strangers and ask for help and guidance. But with no Al-anon meetings in my area i felt i would give it a try. While ill try to keep this somewhat short and to the point- my feelings and emotional turmoil are anything but short and to the point. My par...
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GypsyxJ
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5
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3213
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Out of jail after 5 days
(Preview)
So my ex abf just got out of jail last night for a DUI that happened on Saturday. Against my better judgment I went and picked him up because after all he's done to me and I've allowed I still wanted to hear what he had to say. He told me he had been going to church and aa while in jail and had a very good plan for hi...
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vvv
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11
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406
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Using tools for better holiday
(Preview)
Hi all, Thanksgiving was a small celebration with just my mom, one sister, AH and his friend. Got to use my al-anon tools and feel much better for it. After dinner, AH got a bottle of scotch and took his friend into the TV room, leaving the three of us without a word. He emerged to tell my mother goodbye wh...
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Mcat54
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7
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366
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Advice for a 21 year old son of an A
(Preview)
So, my son just got back from a really big cattle show here in Canada and was really upset about some of the things people said to him. You see, he has attended this show previous years and been very successful, but because of the stress and expense, he didn't take cattle this year and is not even sure he wa...
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Jage1991
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2
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417
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raging at the world
(Preview)
My abf was on the rage yesterday and saying how bad the world is, corrupt, evil, dirty, selfish, ect..on and on he went. He sounded paranoid almost about the world. My question is what is that about and is that an alcoholic trait to view the world as a bad place...I should say to him today I did not go out and...
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joker
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9
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859
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Nano
(Preview)
Nanowrimo is "national novel writers month" and it's basically a cool thing (if you're a massive nerd like me) where writers get into regional groups and have a competition where the objective is for each novelist to write 50,000 words (the minimum to be considered a novel) in November. There are pri...
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MissM
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9
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362
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Frustrated and hard not to take it personal
(Preview)
My boyfriend ( sort of feels like more of a friend these days) is an recovering alcoholic 30 yrs. But he has PTSD and depression so I know this affects him but he doesn't seem to work his program. He dwells on the past. Even though he doesn't like holidays I thought I would just go over there tonight (Thanks...
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catlover26
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5
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434
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Courage to Change reading 11-26-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for November 26 speaks about alcoholism being a family disease and that many of us upon entering the program do not feel as if we belong. The readin notes that this disease affects not only the person who drinks but those who care about them from generation to generation. Today we can cl...
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hotrod
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1
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358
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So scared of losing my wife
(Preview)
I am so scared of losing my wife while she is in 28 day rehab. I am so scared that she will get an emotional attachment to another man or develop sexual feelings. Is this common? Can our relationship survive rehab? I have been by her side through everything. -- Edited by Scaredfrightened on Friday 18th o...
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Scaredfrightened
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11
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1980
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Courage to Change 11/25/16
(Preview)
Later than planned today - we have a broken faucet on a major tub so....had to switch my morning things around a little bit!!! Happy Friday to all... Today's reading reminds us of what brought us to the program - a friend or family member drank too much!!! We were unhappy about it and life, but did not rea...
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Iamhere
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2
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290
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Can anyone help? Also a funny.
(Preview)
Hi guys. I'll be away all weekend and I usually do the C2C reading on Saturday. I dropped the ball last weekend as my internet was misbehaving and Betty picked up the slack as she tends to do, HP love her. Is anyone interested in doing it this weekend? As I've mentioned before, I have volunteered to work at...
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MissM
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1
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301
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new news
(Preview)
just when i think ive squared away feelings about my XAH, something pops up. discovered that my niece recieved about a yr ago, inappropriate emails,messages from my XAH. she is still a minor. Im so angry..she has had enough trouble in her life including losing her mom at age 6. I could !@$#^(**)___ him...
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YARNCRAZY
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3
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274
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gotta get back in line
(Preview)
I used this board a lot ten years ago & forgot all about it - seems good for me now, as I just can't seem to get to a meeting. My eyes are swollen, I've cried so hard today, and then was so exhausted, slept........... upon waking I - deleted my ex of two years ago that I still haven't gotten over and all of h...
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addictedtolove
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2
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330
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A physical reaction to sharing
(Preview)
I went to my first ACOA meeting tonight and WOW was it good!! Every reading, every share just blew me away. So tonight I decided I would share. My whole body tensed. Locked up almost. I was shaking and my voice kept catching. And the icing on the cake, I broke out in hives. I felt sick to my stomach and could...
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sarahGee
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2
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2126
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Courage to Change (C2C) 11/24/16
(Preview)
Good morning MIP Family. Today's reading is about Step 10 and how we can use this step and all others to enrich our spiritual journey. The reading talks about looking at others, and mentally adjusting 'things' about them to improve them. In recovery, using the steps, we are instead asked to let go of...
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Iamhere
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4
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336
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My new life has started
(Preview)
Good Evening Everyone Cathy is free!! The drama is finally over. I'm so happy I took the plunge and finally took control of of my life. It wasn't easy but the results are wonderful. Will I get lonely? ...I hope not. One day at a time to make my life better and better. WOW.....I never thought this would...
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Cathyinaz
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21
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657
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To my MIP Family
(Preview)
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unbroken13
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4
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364
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Do you stand up for yourself?
(Preview)
One of my A's has gone around trashing me for a long while now. To my own family members even. I have been raised to "protect the secret", so I'm not even sure if any of these people know she's an A. Some of them do, I assume, but most wont. I'm letting it happen. Keeping my mouth shut and trusting that HP wil...
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sarahGee
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7
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422
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Giving thanks
(Preview)
To all of you on MIP who celebrate the US Thanksgiving tomorrow .... May you have a peaceful and joyous Thanksgiving! Even though my life is much more serene these days, I still find myself triggered by memories of not-so-happy (traumatic!) holidays in the recent past. I am finding it helpful to reme...
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Freetime
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7
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348
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A small step
(Preview)
My kids have the flu and we are staying home today.
That sounds pretty normal, right?
It's a huge step for me.
I work for the family business. I never took sick days for myself, often covered for everyone else at my own expense. I would also set up a space at work for my kids when they were sick, and make t...
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sarahGee
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3
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305
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11/23/16 ODAT Just for Today, No Fear
(Preview)
Today's page in One Day at a Time in AlAnon challenges us to try something: Cut fear out of our thoughts for one day, today. How? Remember: 1) What happened yesterday is done. 2) Most of what we dread doesn't happen. 3) Anything that does we can handle with the help of our higher power. This is a new day, we h...
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Enigmatic
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7
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378
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DETACHING WITH LOVE
(Preview)
I just wanted to say hi to everybody having just joined. I am a member with Al Anon and am so grateful for support I get in meetings but I don't seem to learn. I still find myself in knots, feeling sick with anxiety over someone elses actions. i want to get rid of my anger, my loneliness, my shame on his behalf...
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Millydilly
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5
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584
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My boyfriend is a binge drinker
(Preview)
Ive been dating my significant other for a little over a year now and his drinking has always bothered me. He doesn't drink every day, usually just on Friday nights, which is totally fine. The issue is the doesn't know when to stop. He can never just have a few drinks with me and enjoy our night. If here is m...
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Vanessa_89
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6
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2958
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My Expectations
(Preview)
I have discovered that a big character flaw I have is my expectations of others and of myself. When others and myself fall short, mostly myself, I get disappointed and hurt. My example: I have a stressful job. yes, I get to work out of my home, BUT I work long hours. I have the ability to flex my time bu...
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Fooled
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5
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435
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Bad decisions. Upset with myself
(Preview)
I made bad decisions this weekend. I know better, and I can't help but think that I made these decisions because I crave the pain.
I'm sitting here thinking - I could have had a nice quiet weekend. Nothing was going on, time to relax and maybe some self care.
What do I do? Invite someone to stay for the wee...
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sarahGee
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23
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902
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Drinking after detox
(Preview)
My BF is out of rehab a month, but he's been drinking although not to excess..until tonight. He was hammerged, slurring, stumbling, was at bar for 7 hours..I'm worried because I heard it is far more dangerous to drink like that after detox..is that true? I keep checking in him, he passed out after he cam...
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Desperateinnyc
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4
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428
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post-rehab reality
(Preview)
hi, all. trying to detach here. ABF is sober and working his program. i believe. today doing intake for outpatient program. but he's up throughout the night at weird hours (lifetime problem of his) and now he's smoking. plus he's been on the patch since de-toxing from tobacco (pouches) while in...
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Junenine
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8
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403
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New to Alanon
(Preview)
Hello, I am new at this so please bare with me. I am in a place where I no longer want to be. I am so tired of being mentally abused by my husband that it is unreal. I , as of right now can not leave the situation i am in because of lack of money, but saving to leave. I have a young adult at home with a young daughter an...
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Clms22
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3
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317
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Threatening to drink
(Preview)
Anyone else's A threaten to drink when you say something they don't like? Can't help but feel like I should just sit down and shut up.
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madowl86
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7
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411
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Hope for Today Nov 22
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the choices made available to us in a alanon. Many of us came here because we knew we wanted a different way of life and as we remained open and consistent in our program, have found it. The reading specifically mentions how difficult holidays were gr...
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yanksfan51
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2
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253
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Drunk driving...DUI #2
(Preview)
I'm just broken...my bf got his second DUI yesterday. He totaled his truck and it got impounded. All of his tools were in it...he's in jail and I'm just a mess. I don't want to bail him out because of the potential risk on my end ( I own a business with my prents), but the other half of me is dying inside. I have...
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vvv
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9
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521
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Abandonment Issues
(Preview)
This keeps recurring for me and lately Ive been thinking about where it comes from and its becoming clear to me why I ended up with my exah. He fulfilled the roles played out in my childhood, being emotionally unavailable, the regular feelings of being rejected and abandoned. Every time he took a drink...
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el-cee
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13
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3102
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11/21/16 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's reading addresses the feeling that we have been in AlAnon long enough that we should not be experiencing as many problems as we are. We could be tempted to blame ourselves, or even the program. It makes sense that we would feel we have more problems than before. Before AlAnon, we may have though...
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Enigmatic
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4
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358
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realization
(Preview)
Last Sunday I posted that I absolutely lost it with AH and his snide commentary on just about everything. In this past week I have come to the realization that his diseased thinking is certainly becoming more irrational and his social interactions are less controlled.....really, really awkward...
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El
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2
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371
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Crying on my kitchen floor
(Preview)
My husband is dry for two months. He doesn't buy into AA and isn't working anything but he is seeing a therapist. For the past two months he's been all over the place-sickness, depression, sleepless nights, oversleeping, euphoria, everything.
It's exhausting. I'm getting better at working my pro...
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Prissykitty
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12
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564
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Courage to Change reading 11-20-2016
(Preview)
The C2C reading for November 20 speaks about the fact that Alcoholism tends to break the spirit of those who live with the disease . Al-Anon understands this and offers us fellowship so as to break the isolation, the connection with a sponsor so as to rebuild our ability to trust another and the...
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hotrod
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1
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1465
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Blind dates
(Preview)
I'm not into the br,gf thingy again and for sure not never into the blind dating games,I never liked . freinds sure try to know what's best for us single women, freinds try hard to fix me up with somebody, the answers been no,no,no im not ready for dating,etc im presently working my steps. with god,mysel...
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lookingup
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6
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401
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