Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Hi this is kadri liisa recovering acoa and also al anon....i have been in both fellowships about 7 years and now i sometimes keep doors of al anon and acoa open in my town as groups are small here. I am 32 years old single lady. Currently my flatmate is social alcoholic and i am following and thinking what...

Aerin · Aerin

I wrote a post last Friday that I could tell ABF had been drinking a little and trying to hide it. (he started AA almost 90 days ago) Soooo obvious to me but he thinks I don't notice. Sooooo badly wanted to call him out (as he WAS getting closer to 90 days sober) but I didn't. I stuck to my lessons and said nada....

sarahGee · sarahGee

Last week in my meeting a girl mentioned focusing on drinking water each day. At the time it kind of rolled off my brain, but on the ride home I started thinking about how I don't drink enough water, or any. That eventually lead to me thinking about how little I care for myself. Simple acts, like drinking w...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think of the way I used to live while living within the insanity of the disease it makes me so grateful for Alanon. I was thinking about the things I thought were 'normal' or okay or at the very least I thought just passing phases. I must have known they weren't normal because I kept it all a secret so i...

mauigirl · mauigirl

My husband has been in recovery since May but yet he continues to act like the alcoholic he was while on the drink. He has been reaching out to his family who constantly reject him. He has been consumed with sadness and frustration because of this. I know that in Al-Anon the focus is NOT on the alcoholi...

justjenna · justjenna

Hi, first time here. Haven't talked to anyone yet about this. DH is 75 yo, grew up with functioning alcoholics. Drank heavily when we were first married - but socially. Didn't drink for years and years. Our social set was mostly church folk and we really weren't around drinkers. This summer he s...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Having recently been through a tough period of growth and out pouring of inner poison that had been stuck inside me festering and rotting. Stinking! I wanted to share that now a few days later a great feeling of lightness, cleanliness has settled in. Like I have scrubbed out the muck and dirt inside me....

MegV · MegV

So I am a spouse of an alcoholic who in July spent 10 days in the ICU with an esophageal varices and found out he also has cirrhosis of the liver. He almost died! He spent 5 days in rehab then left remained sober for about 6 weeks. Unfortunately one of his doctors told him he was looking great "like nothing...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Our daily reading today is about taking care of self and allowing the alcoholic to do as they need to for their own journey. I love the quote ---- "The suffering you are trying to ease....may be the very thing needed to bring the alcoholic to a realization of the seriousness of the situation -- literall...

Kim C · Kim C

I wanted to share a positive experience I had recently. My 15 year old son exhibits all of the signs of being an alcoholic....without drinking. He recently had a really bad morning during which he was upset to the point of ridiculous over a very minor issue. The skills I have learned in Al-Anon and fr...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

It's double value day in ODAT: two outstanding quotes to choose from. Both point the way to a peaceful day through patience, warmth, and respect.The first is in the poetic style of Max Ehrmann:"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible wit...

Fooled · Fooled

I made some big steps in detachment lately. My AS and drug user kept asking me to borrow my car and my daughters car. I was really uncomfortable with it because he is on record as a drug addict and is on probation. How he has a valid license is beyond me but he did show me the paperwork reinstating him wh...

tealfighter · tealfighter

Writing is my solace. I wrote this to "him" this morning. I don't want to react to his behaviour. I want to maintain my sanity and most of all I want to learn to respond rather than reacting. I hate you today. It is the day after my birthday. You didn't think of me. You did not call me. You did not message m...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

I need some advice. My single adult daughter recently told me she has returned to her old habits of drinking and smoking weed. She has gone to rehab 4 times For alcoholism and drug abuse. She said the sober life wasn't her thing. She had been doing really well for the past 2 years. She was gointg to AA but la...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Why do I constantly try and change these drama addicts? Like I tried to change the alcoholic.....I was doing so well for about 2.5 years...(yay!) living peacefully, in a good place, maintaining boundaries, making friends, staying active... then I started getting closer to an individual who is ver...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone- Today's reading is about decisions, trying to understand our HPs will for us, and paying attention to inward signs about whether we are making choices which are good and healthy for us. In the reading the following statement is quoted: 'Without God, man cannot; without man, God wil...

thekentuckygent · thekentuckygent

Long time lurker, first time poster, but I wanted to start off by saying THANK YOU to all of you for helping me feel not quite SO crazy and alone in all of this. But on to the matter at hand, long story short is that I have a friend of 8+ years that my alcoholic (ex at this point) partner has never been a fan of. I...

Haysinger · Haysinger

Newbie here. Glad I found this board. My wife is binge drinker who recently has become violent. She is in trouble with the law. I'm planning on attending my first meeting tomorrow. Any advice for a first timer? Thanks in advance!

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Hey all Haven't posted for a while. Been working my program and growing. Just wanted to kind of say out loud that as I move forward I am finding AHs drinking behaviours far harder to cope with. I obviously practice 'detach with love,' I move away, don't engage etc but wow, whereas in the past in my numb sta...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page reflects the experience of one who, looking back, recalled the great care taken at the supermarket to pick out the small but more flavorful carrots for her children's snacks. As a teen, however, her son lamented how he received the "scrawny" carrots. Ah, perspective... The writer cons...

Emma123 · Emma123

I split with my ah after he turned violent. I had to move out of our shared home. I'm finding the loss incredibly painful. Even though the breakup is for the best I miss him. We had some good times, especially early on in the relationship. I went on a couple of dates with a new man. I felt huge attraction to hi...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

I'm struggling. I feel that as of late I've been very good at disengaging with love. We have a toddler to co-parent and so when I'm working my program I'm great at ignoring husbands mood swings. I keep my life peaceful and kind of ignore his moaning and whining. He is an insomniac and typically looks exha...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

He's so broken. He relapsed Friday night. He hates himself. He hates his life even though he has so much he knows he should be grateful for. It breaks my heart to watch him sobbing and talking about what a horrible person he is. His dad died ten years ago tomorrow and he sobs that he misses him. He dabbled in...

Rwisdom08 · Rwisdom08

I grew up with alcoholics and married one. I am at a breaking point and have no one to turn to.

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

I have just returned to Al anon after a 20 year absence. I am so glad and grateful to have found a forum as it really helps me when I write things down. I promise I won't make a habit of venting my every issue but I will get this one off my chest if you don't mind. It's been building for a while. it regards yet anot...

LinSC · LinSC

"We Came, We Ate, We Left" Great One .... Thanks Tiredtonite

MissM · MissM

I know this is kind of whingy but it's making me miserable lately and seems to be my ever present woe so, maybe if I share it, it will get smaller. Sometimes it works that way. Seems like many people have walked the same path as me and separated and then moved on with someone new and things are wonderful..in...

Faintly Falling · Faintly Falling

I feel that I have been quite good about setting boundaries within the family. I know my limits and I usually instinctively know when I've been sucked in too far. But this time it's the health professional who has sucked me in like a blackhole! To explain briefly, my sister died last summer from cancer ....

Fooled · Fooled

I am not sure what it was today that kept pushing me off kilter but there was something. Nothing really concrete but a state of restless anxiety slowly burning under the surface all day. I really found myself fed up, ready to give up, hopeless, tired and weak. Like the armor I have been putting on is...

Confused16 · Confused16

My ABF has been struggling with addiction since he was a kid. We come from VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds. So needless to say, it was hard for us to understand each others way of living. My ABF struggles a lot with boundaries. He would use the excuse of seeing his kids to disappear for days on end. He would end...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about making choices. The reading points out that many times, before program we made our choices strictly on the basis of our feelings as if feelings were facts. If we were frightened about taking certain action then we avoided it, there was no middle ground and no...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm really struggling with old behaviors .. mine .. LOL. Being new into a relationship for the first time in 5 years and then dealing with the fact I'm dealing with another co-dependent which there is nothing like two codies in a relationship together .. LOL. I have to keep really strong boundaries a...

DeeS · DeeS

Thank you for this group. My mother was an alcoholic. Now my son. He is 28 years old, very bright, and the world was his for the asking. He has been a slow downward spiral for years looking back but we just didn't see it. He was in Korea when his father died and that triggered an event with Adderall. He r...

El · El

I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing. AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while tha...

Aerin · Aerin

ABF has been in AA for almost 90 days. He has had only 2 obvious relapses during that time and only missed only 1 meeting. (that I know of) Thats pretty good I think. However yesterday I came over and could smell just a liitle beer on him and he was acting a teeny bit off (nothing like drinking days) but I coul...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

I am really feeling sorry for myself right now. All my pent up anger has turned me into an asshole over the years...i just masked it as being 'authentic'....this is no longer a one off...this is a pattern I exhibit and it was only a matter of time before I could no longer get away with it.....i'm the common...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I haven't been here for a while. I have been going to the face to face meeting and reading all the materials. I have also been practicing the 12 steps. I noticed something, does the addicted person's behavior get worse when the family practices the 12 steps? I have been re reading the new comers packe...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

It's been about four months. It's 1am and I woke up because I heard husband making weird noises in the living room. He was asleep but I knew immediately something was up. Sure enough when I "woke" him he wasn't speaking English and couldn't look straight. He's not in active recovery, but I finally am. I...

Kristy66 · Kristy66

Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's g...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH seems to find ways to take Fridays off or at least come home early on Fridays. I won't even go down the road of what a bad idea that is related to his work because it's not my problem it is his and shockingly it doesn't seem to cause him problems. But it causes me problems. He tries to refrain...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C asks "what is meditation?" It suggests that the answer for us is to interpret in our own ways, but drawing on other member's experiences can help us to find what works for us. It suggests various interpretations such as seeking the spiritual purpose to our actions, concentrating on breat...

JosieP · JosieP

lo everyone, I am new to this group and have already taken comfort from reading your messages. My husband and I have now separated because he is an alcoholic. I am incredibly sad about this and struggling to come to terms with it because I love him but I had to end it for a number of reasons but mainly becaus...

Fooled · Fooled

For the last month or so my daughter has been the bane of my existence. I have finally have achieved happiness, and a somewhat sense of peace and serenity and I swear to all that is holy that if I thought she could be, she is doing it on purpose. Every single day she manages to push my buttons and test t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses the concept of recovery - "Let it Begin With Me". The reading suggests it's easy for us to sit and itemize the defects of our qualifier/others. We can spend hours thinking of the ways others should/could change! Yet, not one time has this mental criticism improved anythi...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I kept hearing talk of "Gaslighting" and then someone referenced the movie, so I went to the library and got it on DVD to watch. My AH was passed out, so I had uninterrupted time. Now I totally understand the use of that term. And last night, I saw it in action. I went out to dinner with 5 very good women...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about 'all that is Al-Anon'.....what this means is we arrive, and no matter how defeated, broken, crazy or other we are - we are invited back. Many of us are grateful for this love and acceptance, no matter our condition when we arrive. For many, Al-Anon is the last hope. The dis...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

How do we perceive ourselves and how accurate is that perception to others? Is our perception of ourselves always the same as how others perceive us? The alcoholic doesn't think they have a problem, but we all know they do...as far as they're concerned they are one thing, we see them as something comp...

MissM · MissM

What a weekend. Daughter and I went to volunteer at a very large music festival that happens in a town about 40 minutes from home. The idea is, you work for 10 hours and in return they give you an all-access pass for the entire 3 day event. Daughter wasn't required to volunteer in the end because she is too y...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

I'm not really surprised as i once would have been earlier in my recovery but i think a part of me will always be a little baffled in the presence of the disease of addiction .. these past couple weeks i received many calls from my ex addict .. this happens when his life slows .. maybe a comedown moment .. not...

lgnutah · lgnutah

My qualifier tended to phone me after drinking in the evenings. After those calls I had trouble sleeping. I decided I could take control of getting healthy sleep if I turned my ringers off on my phone at 8 pm. It took about a year, but my A finally accepted the phone wouldn't be answered (though she still s...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure. We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are worki...

lgnutah · lgnutah

A few years back I bought a strip of plaid fabric that had just the word "THANKFUL" stitched onto it in large capital letters. I hang it on my front door every November but I love lookjng at it so much I almost hate to take it down when it's time to put up my Christmas wreath.

jocelgp · jocelgp

I asked my husband to leave because I don't deserve to be treated so badly: aiming fist at me and calling me names and demeaning my being a person. I don't know if he drank last friday but he came home later than usual. He keeps on saying bad words while sleeping friday night. Saturday was quiet, I tried...

MissM · MissM

It's been a rough semester. I live approx 2 hours from my university and this semester I was meant to do a lot of contact hours. I negotiated with my child, 2 days a week she would go to the school library at 7:30am (when the staff come on duty) so I could get to school late for an 8am class. We had a deal. When it...

Miss A · Miss A

I'm starting to work on healing my Inner Child, and I was wondering how some of you have done it? I've been struggling with doing this for years and it's holding me back from having a happy and healthy life. I'm nearly 23 and I want to start living. The thing is I don't know how.

TessaB · TessaB

Something I have really been struggling with lately is feeling like I need for my son(adult son) to admit he has been using when he stops by.It's obvious to me that he's high,I already know he is,yet I still call him out on it,even though I already know he's going to deny it. I am causing arguments with him...

John · John

Asking for prayer and help!I have not been interacting on the boards for a good while because of internal and external hardships I am so overwhelmed with and that has reduced my ability to shoot positive energy, inspiration, and hope into the Universe for the benefit of others, when I am so stuck in the...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

I was lucky to have met my AH when he was sober. We had many wonderful years together. Then alcohol came back into his life and my world became explosive. Most of the time the disease has control of him, but sometimes there's little moments when I get a glimpse of the man I used to know. As time goes by those l...

lookingup · lookingup

Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...

TessaB · TessaB

Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	flatmate of alcoholic and acoa (Preview) Hi this is kadri liisa recovering acoa and also al anon....i have been in both fellowships about 7 years and now i sometimes keep doors of al anon and acoa open in my town as groups are small here. I am 32 years old single lady. Currently my flatmate is social alcoholic and i am following and thinking what...	kadriliisa	8	695	Dec 9, 2016 by kadriliisa
	And the sneaking continues.. (Preview) I wrote a post last Friday that I could tell ABF had been drinking a little and trying to hide it. (he started AA almost 90 days ago) Soooo obvious to me but he thinks I don't notice. Sooooo badly wanted to call him out (as he WAS getting closer to 90 days sober) but I didn't. I stuck to my lessons and said nada....	Aerin	30	749	Dec 9, 2016 by Maresie25
	Self Care (Preview) Last week in my meeting a girl mentioned focusing on drinking water each day. At the time it kind of rolled off my brain, but on the ride home I started thinking about how I don't drink enough water, or any. That eventually lead to me thinking about how little I care for myself. Simple acts, like drinking w...	sarahGee	11	886	Dec 8, 2016 by kadriliisa
	The depths of my disease (Preview) When I think of the way I used to live while living within the insanity of the disease it makes me so grateful for Alanon. I was thinking about the things I thought were 'normal' or okay or at the very least I thought just passing phases. I must have known they weren't normal because I kept it all a secret so i...	el-cee	8	692	Dec 8, 2016 by Jill
	An alcoholic in recovery is the same as an alcoholic minus the drink (Preview) My husband has been in recovery since May but yet he continues to act like the alcoholic he was while on the drink. He has been reaching out to his family who constantly reject him. He has been consumed with sadness and frustration because of this. I know that in Al-Anon the focus is NOT on the alcoholi...	mauigirl	9	595	Dec 8, 2016 by sarahGee
	First time here (Preview) Hi, first time here. Haven't talked to anyone yet about this. DH is 75 yo, grew up with functioning alcoholics. Drank heavily when we were first married - but socially. Didn't drink for years and years. Our social set was mostly church folk and we really weren't around drinkers. This summer he s...	justjenna	11	482	Dec 8, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Very grateful (Preview) Having recently been through a tough period of growth and out pouring of inner poison that had been stuck inside me festering and rotting. Stinking! I wanted to share that now a few days later a great feeling of lightness, cleanliness has settled in. Like I have scrubbed out the muck and dirt inside me....	Calm Lady	3	443	Dec 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Choosing Alcohol over everything.. (Preview) So I am a spouse of an alcoholic who in July spent 10 days in the ICU with an esophageal varices and found out he also has cirrhosis of the liver. He almost died! He spent 5 days in rehab then left remained sober for about 6 weeks. Unfortunately one of his doctors told him he was looking great "like nothing...	MegV	7	571	Dec 8, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/8/16 (Preview) Our daily reading today is about taking care of self and allowing the alcoholic to do as they need to for their own journey. I love the quote ---- "The suffering you are trying to ease....may be the very thing needed to bring the alcoholic to a realization of the seriousness of the situation -- literall...	Iamhere	1	386	Dec 8, 2016 by hotrod
	It works if you work it! Amazed! (Preview) I wanted to share a positive experience I had recently. My 15 year old son exhibits all of the signs of being an alcoholic....without drinking. He recently had a really bad morning during which he was upset to the point of ridiculous over a very minor issue. The skills I have learned in Al-Anon and fr...	Kim C	5	448	Dec 8, 2016 by Calm Lady
	12-7-16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) It's double value day in ODAT: two outstanding quotes to choose from. Both point the way to a peaceful day through patience, warmth, and respect.The first is in the poetic style of Max Ehrmann:"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible wit...	Enigmatic	4	582	Dec 7, 2016 by hotrod
	this and that and an omg (Preview) I made some big steps in detachment lately. My AS and drug user kept asking me to borrow my car and my daughters car. I was really uncomfortable with it because he is on record as a drug addict and is on probation. How he has a valid license is beyond me but he did show me the paperwork reinstating him wh...	Fooled	4	467	Dec 7, 2016 by Fooled
	Pain (Preview) Writing is my solace. I wrote this to "him" this morning. I don't want to react to his behaviour. I want to maintain my sanity and most of all I want to learn to respond rather than reacting. I hate you today. It is the day after my birthday. You didn't think of me. You did not call me. You did not message m...	tealfighter	7	441	Dec 7, 2016 by Jerry F
	Advice needed (Preview) I need some advice. My single adult daughter recently told me she has returned to her old habits of drinking and smoking weed. She has gone to rehab 4 times For alcoholism and drug abuse. She said the sober life wasn't her thing. She had been doing really well for the past 2 years. She was gointg to AA but la...	Buckeye Girl	6	460	Dec 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Drama addicts (Preview) Why do I constantly try and change these drama addicts? Like I tried to change the alcoholic.....I was doing so well for about 2.5 years...(yay!) living peacefully, in a good place, maintaining boundaries, making friends, staying active... then I started getting closer to an individual who is ver...	slogan_jim	6	3036	Dec 6, 2016 by slogan_jim
	Hope for Today dec 6 (Preview) Hello Everyone- Today's reading is about decisions, trying to understand our HPs will for us, and paying attention to inward signs about whether we are making choices which are good and healthy for us. In the reading the following statement is quoted: 'Without God, man cannot; without man, God wil...	yanksfan51	5	463	Dec 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	Alcoholic Partner Telling Me Who To Be Friends With (Preview) Long time lurker, first time poster, but I wanted to start off by saying THANK YOU to all of you for helping me feel not quite SO crazy and alone in all of this. But on to the matter at hand, long story short is that I have a friend of 8+ years that my alcoholic (ex at this point) partner has never been a fan of. I...	thekentuckygent	8	466	Dec 6, 2016 by Jerry F
	First Post (Preview) Newbie here. Glad I found this board. My wife is binge drinker who recently has become violent. She is in trouble with the law. I'm planning on attending my first meeting tomorrow. Any advice for a first timer? Thanks in advance!	Haysinger	10	464	Dec 6, 2016 by maryjane
	Ramped up (Preview) Hey all Haven't posted for a while. Been working my program and growing. Just wanted to kind of say out loud that as I move forward I am finding AHs drinking behaviours far harder to cope with. I obviously practice 'detach with love,' I move away, don't engage etc but wow, whereas in the past in my numb sta...	Calm Lady	26	965	Dec 6, 2016 by el-cee
	Hope for Today 12-5-16 (Preview) Today's page reflects the experience of one who, looking back, recalled the great care taken at the supermarket to pick out the small but more flavorful carrots for her children's snacks. As a teen, however, her son lamented how he received the "scrawny" carrots. Ah, perspective... The writer cons...	Enigmatic	5	591	Dec 5, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Loneliness after breakup (Preview) I split with my ah after he turned violent. I had to move out of our shared home. I'm finding the loss incredibly painful. Even though the breakup is for the best I miss him. We had some good times, especially early on in the relationship. I went on a couple of dates with a new man. I felt huge attraction to hi...	Emma123	3	2631	Dec 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	How to disengage with spouse? (Preview) I'm struggling. I feel that as of late I've been very good at disengaging with love. We have a toddler to co-parent and so when I'm working my program I'm great at ignoring husbands mood swings. I keep my life peaceful and kind of ignore his moaning and whining. He is an insomniac and typically looks exha...	Prissykitty	7	2599	Dec 5, 2016 by mauigirl
	So worried about my husband feeling hopeless (Preview) He's so broken. He relapsed Friday night. He hates himself. He hates his life even though he has so much he knows he should be grateful for. It breaks my heart to watch him sobbing and talking about what a horrible person he is. His dad died ten years ago tomorrow and he sobs that he misses him. He dabbled in...	Prissykitty	4	493	Dec 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Where to begin (Preview) I grew up with alcoholics and married one. I am at a breaking point and have no one to turn to.	Rwisdom08	3	487	Dec 5, 2016 by Iamhere
	Partner blames me for everything when he's stressed (Preview) I have just returned to Al anon after a 20 year absence. I am so glad and grateful to have found a forum as it really helps me when I write things down. I promise I won't make a habit of venting my every issue but I will get this one off my chest if you don't mind. It's been building for a while. it regards yet anot...	Faintly Falling	12	3198	Dec 5, 2016 by KT2015
	Slogan for the Holidays (Preview) "We Came, We Ate, We Left" Great One .... Thanks Tiredtonite	LinSC	6	509	Dec 5, 2016 by el-cee
	Whinge whinge moan moan. (Preview) I know this is kind of whingy but it's making me miserable lately and seems to be my ever present woe so, maybe if I share it, it will get smaller. Sometimes it works that way. Seems like many people have walked the same path as me and separated and then moved on with someone new and things are wonderful..in...	MissM	5	800	Dec 5, 2016 by el-cee
	Dealing with family counsellor and totally exhausted! (Preview) I feel that I have been quite good about setting boundaries within the family. I know my limits and I usually instinctively know when I've been sucked in too far. But this time it's the health professional who has sucked me in like a blackhole! To explain briefly, my sister died last summer from cancer ....	Faintly Falling	7	594	Dec 4, 2016 by DrSheilaHerenow
	You can run but you cannot hide (Preview) I am not sure what it was today that kept pushing me off kilter but there was something. Nothing really concrete but a state of restless anxiety slowly burning under the surface all day. I really found myself fed up, ready to give up, hopeless, tired and weak. Like the armor I have been putting on is...	Fooled	6	515	Dec 4, 2016 by Calm Lady
	Confused, overwhelmed, hopeless, SAD ... (Preview) My ABF has been struggling with addiction since he was a kid. We come from VERY DIFFERENT backgrounds. So needless to say, it was hard for us to understand each others way of living. My ABF struggles a lot with boundaries. He would use the excuse of seeing his kids to disappear for days on end. He would end...	Confused16	5	545	Dec 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change reading 12-4-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for December 4 speaks about making choices. The reading points out that many times, before program we made our choices strictly on the basis of our feelings as if feelings were facts. If we were frightened about taking certain action then we avoided it, there was no middle ground and no...	hotrod	3	617	Dec 4, 2016 by Iamhere
	Old Behaviors (Preview) I'm really struggling with old behaviors .. mine .. LOL. Being new into a relationship for the first time in 5 years and then dealing with the fact I'm dealing with another co-dependent which there is nothing like two codies in a relationship together .. LOL. I have to keep really strong boundaries a...	SerenityRUS	5	488	Dec 4, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	New to group (Preview) Thank you for this group. My mother was an alcoholic. Now my son. He is 28 years old, very bright, and the world was his for the asking. He has been a slow downward spiral for years looking back but we just didn't see it. He was in Korea when his father died and that triggered an event with Adderall. He r...	DeeS	4	520	Dec 4, 2016 by Freetime
	Subtle shifts (Preview) I think the program is starting to sink in! I am noticing some subtle shifts in my thoughts and behaviors. I haven't made any big proclamations to myself, but my attitude is changing. AH is away this weekend hunting. Normally, I would think that he just wants to get away to drink freely. Now, while tha...	El	12	462	Dec 4, 2016 by tiredtonite
	Mini relapses- should I call him out? (Preview) ABF has been in AA for almost 90 days. He has had only 2 obvious relapses during that time and only missed only 1 meeting. (that I know of) Thats pretty good I think. However yesterday I came over and could smell just a liitle beer on him and he was acting a teeny bit off (nothing like drinking days) but I coul...	Aerin	11	531	Dec 4, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Feeling sorry for myself (Preview) I am really feeling sorry for myself right now. All my pent up anger has turned me into an asshole over the years...i just masked it as being 'authentic'....this is no longer a one off...this is a pattern I exhibit and it was only a matter of time before I could no longer get away with it.....i'm the common...	slogan_jim	9	3345	Dec 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Does the problem temporarily get worse when person starts Al Anon (Preview) I haven't been here for a while. I have been going to the face to face meeting and reading all the materials. I have also been practicing the 12 steps. I noticed something, does the addicted person's behavior get worse when the family practices the 12 steps? I have been re reading the new comers packe...	Lucy125	8	603	Dec 3, 2016 by Lucy125
	He relapsed (Preview) It's been about four months. It's 1am and I woke up because I heard husband making weird noises in the living room. He was asleep but I knew immediately something was up. Sure enough when I "woke" him he wasn't speaking English and couldn't look straight. He's not in active recovery, but I finally am. I...	Prissykitty	10	539	Dec 3, 2016 by maryjane
	Binge drinking spouse (Preview) Ok, so I have never gone to a meeting. My spouse (boyfriend of 13 years) has started showing signs of binge drinking - maybe it's been happening longer than I want to admit. We have been on the roller coaster as some describe it - things are great throughout the week, and then on Friday night, he says he's g...	Kristy66	3	464	Dec 3, 2016 by SerenityRUS
	Dreading going home tonight... (Preview) My AH seems to find ways to take Fridays off or at least come home early on Fridays. I won't even go down the road of what a bad idea that is related to his work because it's not my problem it is his and shockingly it doesn't seem to cause him problems. But it causes me problems. He tries to refrain...	KT2015	20	1024	Dec 3, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 3/12 (Preview) Today's C2C asks "what is meditation?" It suggests that the answer for us is to interpret in our own ways, but drawing on other member's experiences can help us to find what works for us. It suggests various interpretations such as seeking the spiritual purpose to our actions, concentrating on breat...	MissM	3	405	Dec 3, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Feeling confused (Preview) lo everyone, I am new to this group and have already taken comfort from reading your messages. My husband and I have now separated because he is an alcoholic. I am incredibly sad about this and struggling to come to terms with it because I love him but I had to end it for a number of reasons but mainly becaus...	JosieP	7	702	Dec 3, 2016 by Mcat54
	Let it begin with me (Preview) For the last month or so my daughter has been the bane of my existence. I have finally have achieved happiness, and a somewhat sense of peace and serenity and I swear to all that is holy that if I thought she could be, she is doing it on purpose. Every single day she manages to push my buttons and test t...	Fooled	19	773	Dec 3, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/2/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses the concept of recovery - "Let it Begin With Me". The reading suggests it's easy for us to sit and itemize the defects of our qualifier/others. We can spend hours thinking of the ways others should/could change! Yet, not one time has this mental criticism improved anythi...	Iamhere	2	440	Dec 2, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Gaslighting? I get it now! (Preview) I kept hearing talk of "Gaslighting" and then someone referenced the movie, so I went to the library and got it on DVD to watch. My AH was passed out, so I had uninterrupted time. Now I totally understand the use of that term. And last night, I saw it in action. I went out to dinner with 5 very good women...	Bethany66	7	571	Dec 2, 2016 by milkwood
	Courage to Change (C2C) 11/1/16 (Preview) Today's reading talks about 'all that is Al-Anon'.....what this means is we arrive, and no matter how defeated, broken, crazy or other we are - we are invited back. Many of us are grateful for this love and acceptance, no matter our condition when we arrive. For many, Al-Anon is the last hope. The dis...	Iamhere	3	454	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Perception (Preview) How do we perceive ourselves and how accurate is that perception to others? Is our perception of ourselves always the same as how others perceive us? The alcoholic doesn't think they have a problem, but we all know they do...as far as they're concerned they are one thing, we see them as something comp...	slogan_jim	7	601	Dec 1, 2016 by slogan_jim
	Better times. (Preview) What a weekend. Daughter and I went to volunteer at a very large music festival that happens in a town about 40 minutes from home. The idea is, you work for 10 hours and in return they give you an all-access pass for the entire 3 day event. Daughter wasn't required to volunteer in the end because she is too y...	MissM	6	570	Dec 1, 2016 by sarahGee
	phonecall(s) from my ex .. (Preview) I'm not really surprised as i once would have been earlier in my recovery but i think a part of me will always be a little baffled in the presence of the disease of addiction .. these past couple weeks i received many calls from my ex addict .. this happens when his life slows .. maybe a comedown moment .. not...	MeTwo2	6	567	Dec 1, 2016 by MeTwo2
	It's hard for me to clearly define my boundary-I just want serenity! (Preview) My qualifier tended to phone me after drinking in the evenings. After those calls I had trouble sleeping. I decided I could take control of getting healthy sleep if I turned my ringers off on my phone at 8 pm. It took about a year, but my A finally accepted the phone wouldn't be answered (though she still s...	lgnutah	4	476	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	11/30/16 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading challenges us to consider every person we encounter as a teacher who offers us a very important lesson to learn...every person, even the ones whose company we struggle to endure. We may witness positive qualities we can adopt, negative traits that remind us of something we are worki...	Enigmatic	8	546	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	THANKFUL (Preview) A few years back I bought a strip of plaid fabric that had just the word "THANKFUL" stitched onto it in large capital letters. I hang it on my front door every November but I love lookjng at it so much I almost hate to take it down when it's time to put up my Christmas wreath.	lgnutah	2	322	Dec 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	my husband just left me, and it's hurting so much (Preview) I asked my husband to leave because I don't deserve to be treated so badly: aiming fist at me and calling me names and demeaning my being a person. I don't know if he drank last friday but he came home later than usual. He keeps on saying bad words while sleeping friday night. Saturday was quiet, I tried...	jocelgp	20	3803	Dec 1, 2016 by Suburban Denizen
	lady-child (Preview) It's been a rough semester. I live approx 2 hours from my university and this semester I was meant to do a lot of contact hours. I negotiated with my child, 2 days a week she would go to the school library at 7:30am (when the staff come on duty) so I could get to school late for an 8am class. We had a deal. When it...	MissM	2	413	Nov 30, 2016 by lgnutah
	Healing your Inner Child? (Preview) I'm starting to work on healing my Inner Child, and I was wondering how some of you have done it? I've been struggling with doing this for years and it's holding me back from having a happy and healthy life. I'm nearly 23 and I want to start living. The thing is I don't know how.	Miss A	10	870	Nov 30, 2016 by Bethany66
	The Need To Know The Truth (Preview) Something I have really been struggling with lately is feeling like I need for my son(adult son) to admit he has been using when he stops by.It's obvious to me that he's high,I already know he is,yet I still call him out on it,even though I already know he's going to deny it. I am causing arguments with him...	TessaB	16	688	Nov 30, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	Asking for prayers and help... (Preview) Asking for prayer and help!I have not been interacting on the boards for a good while because of internal and external hardships I am so overwhelmed with and that has reduced my ability to shoot positive energy, inspiration, and hope into the Universe for the benefit of others, when I am so stuck in the...	John	28	1408	Nov 30, 2016 by MissM
	little moments (Preview) I was lucky to have met my AH when he was sober. We had many wonderful years together. Then alcohol came back into his life and my world became explosive. Most of the time the disease has control of him, but sometimes there's little moments when I get a glimpse of the man I used to know. As time goes by those l...	_bunny_	4	456	Nov 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	What to do with loved ones estate after they pass? (Preview) Spent thanksgiving with my aging father,not in good health ,I and him discussed on what to do with his son age 42 my baby brother after father passes,his huge concern, a/b is disabled physically and mentally ,due to lifetime of alcohol and drug use, ab has always lived with my father,always been depen...	lookingup	11	632	Nov 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	New And Out Of Control (Preview) Hello. I used to be active in Alanon years ago but then,I don't know,I guess I thought I didn't need to work the program anymore.A few days ago,though,I had a total meltdown,ranting and raving at my addicted adult son.After he left,I ranted and raved at my husband,and I got so upset and out of control I k...	TessaB	4	557	Nov 29, 2016 by TessaB
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.