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Happy that I only feel pity... I guess?
(Preview)
Had to go see AH today. I took my name off the title of our Ford Expedition, and I needed to give him the title and let him know he has 5 days to turn this into the he "new" owner. Yesterday I sent DS to the house to finish clearing his room of all the mess/junk/possessions. When he came back, he said that his dad...
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PosiesandPuppies
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10
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638
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AH getting out of rehab tomorrow - in need of ESH
(Preview)
Hi All, I am separated from my AH and, while I still get anxiety about the future, I am generally much happier. My departure triggered his decision to go to detox (a nightmare, he was in the hospital for a month) and then to a 28-day inpatient rehab stay. He gets out tomorrow and my daughter will drive th...
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gratefulforafuture
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3
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521
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Separated husband currently in rehab, not sure where to go from here.
(Preview)
Hello, this is my very first time here and hoping i can find a little bit of advice or insight. My husband and i have been married for 6 years, total of 11 years in our relationship and we have a 5 year old son My husband has had an problem with alcohol for a little over a year now, he's always drank, as have I, ...
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kimberlyrt
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19
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1928
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Well THAT sure went "well"
(Preview)
I have this grand niece, daughter of one of my nieces and she refuses to give me her phone number so I pm her on face book, trying, offering I should say my love and support and how we need to "draw together" and share our grief /support, etc., being as how we ALL lost someone very special and huge in our lives...
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mamalioness
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8
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961
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enabling. Is it really helping them??
(Preview)
A question was asked about enabling versus genuine loving support. After sleeping on this, this is what I feel about enabling versus genuine support and loving. It is not helping my qualifier if I do things for him that he can (and should) do for himself. Instead, I diminish his capabilities. T...
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mamalioness
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6
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607
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Consequences
(Preview)
We are to detact but the facts are the consequences affect my family. If they get a DUI, the transportation and violation charges are a burden to me. He loses his job. We are robbed. The only truly way to detact is not be married to them. This drug needs to be illegal substance. They is absolutely nothing...
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LexieA
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4
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559
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It never ends, does it ??
(Preview)
Sorry to be so negative today, and please feel free to delete my post if it's not of the right mindset, but GEEEZZZ, THIS DISEASE NEVER QUITS, DOES IT ??? I've been up and down with this stuff with my now adult son for so many years, and just when I think my son is on the right track (not drinking or using, bett...
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texas yankee
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7
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583
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A new low
(Preview)
My AH is out of control. I had surgery on Monday for kidney stones. It didn't go well and have been suffering for 4 days bc of complications. My husband used me as an excuse to stay home from work for 4 days to take care of me and the children. He has only added another mouth to feed and has provided no care for t...
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Isthisreallife
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9
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1444
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How to respond?
(Preview)
When AH starts really getting into trouble because of his drinking and I'm detaching, what do I say? Like if he oversleeps for work and when he wakes up I'm in the living room with the kids. When he comes in in a panic asking why didn't I wake him up...what would you say? Those kinds of situations are starti...
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Cmag3
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8
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707
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want to rip ex apart
(Preview)
i am feeling a bit angry this morning. I have my daughter living with me and her father and I divorced many years ago. My ex-husband remarried a new woman and moved on with his life. My ex-husband took my children away from me, as I was an unfit mother. I now have my daughter living with me again, and she is no...
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joker
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7
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692
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Responsible v. Detached with Love
(Preview)
My older adult sibling and qualifier leads an isolated life. At 65, she is 10 years divorced and the entire focus of her life is her out-of-town children who she rarely sees, but talks to almost daily. She does not seem to care at all about making friends. Its hard for me to not cascade into worrying about...
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Sorst
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11
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788
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Nothing changes if nothing changes...what does that mean to you?
(Preview)
I am not limiting my thoughts or my questions to that one simple question, but more to the nothing changes if nothing changes. I went to my usual Saturday morning meeting. It is an great meeting, one of the best in the northern part of our state. People travel, bypass meetings much closer to them, in orde...
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Bo
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23
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3082
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New here...relationship with my 'ex'
(Preview)
Hi everyone...I'm brand new to this so please bare with me. I'm not sure where to start, so I guess the beginning is the place? My ex boyfriend got in touch with me a few weeks ago from rehab. We have a complicated history, as I'm sure most do with addicts. Basically, years ago, while he was completing reh...
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Nicoletta
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10
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536
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3rd meeting
(Preview)
Going to my 3rd meeting tonight. Active AH still fighting it hard. Came home with 2 six packs and then tried to guilt me in to not going because we were going to go over bills. I said we could do it tomorrow and he came up with 3 more reasons why tonight is not a good night. I just feel like if I tell yall I'm going...
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Cmag3
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8
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536
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Thank you to the Al-Anon Chat Room - following some good advice y'all gave. More would be appreciated.
(Preview)
Hi there - I'm a bit of a newbie. I'm the one that posted before about my "I'm partially home bound, what's the best Al-Anon book to start off with since face-to-face meetings are hard to get to?" situation. I decided on "Paths To Recovery", and it just arrived yesterday. :) After my first chat room meeti...
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DellaElle
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2
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518
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working around the house
(Preview)
My abf continues to remain sober, by the grace of god! He finally is moving his body and helping me clean the house. He put in hardwood floors in three bedrooms and we are cleaning each room out and reorganizing everything! What a huge job its is but its keeping us both very busy and focused on the task. We w...
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joker
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2
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582
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Weight gain
(Preview)
My son had an alcohol problem for years. Refused to get help, refused to do inpatient, etc. Moved away, got a dui, probation for a year. In that year he could not drink or smoke weed. As soon as it was over he was back to smoking weed just like before. He also had social anxiety while living at home throu...
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hummingbird1094
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4
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661
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ODAT Reading 9-19-2017
(Preview)
The O DA T reading for September 19 speaks about living with the disease of alcoholism, while attempting to maintain our commitment to our marriage vows. The reading suggests that, attending meetings and using Al-Anon tools, helps to correct our own faults, as well as keeps us from reacting when we a...
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hotrod
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1
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478
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It just never ends
(Preview)
This disease is maddening and heart wrenching to say the least. My darling daughter has had another slip yesterday that completely caught me off guard. She is currently at home with us as was coming back for a family celebration anyways. She has had a tremendous amount of relationship stress the la...
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serenity47
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13
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795
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Seeking Justice and serenity?!
(Preview)
My daughter who is 20 is with an abusive drug addict he has a warrant for battery on my daughter she denies and defend him but is also isolated and this man has long history of abuse manipulation very evil.. I want to go find where he is without him knowing so cops can know where he is and arrest him on warrant...
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Shellianna
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8
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570
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Sober Selfish Behavior
(Preview)
Hello I need some suggestions on dealing with a recovering alcoholic's selfish behavior. I am tired of dealing with someone who does whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, with whoever they want to do it with. I'm fed up with dealing with someone who is not willing to compromise becaus...
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pickingmyselfup
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16
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9467
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Step Work Board
(Preview)
rn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step one and has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please join in and share your thoughts on this important step.Here'...
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hotrod
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3
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441
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What a miracle looks like, sounds like and is....
(Preview)
Aloha Kakahiaka (good morning) Ohana (family) I just took one of my grand-daughters to school. She slept over last night and then showered and prepared to her classes. This beautiful miracle is 17 years old and in college culinary classes and it is so much a blessing to be just a small part of the p...
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Jerry F
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8
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603
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detox and DTs
(Preview)
My dad is in day 2 of detox and DTs started within 24 hours. He's been distressed and is in the ICU on sedatives and antibiotics for a spiking fever after aspiration. I would like to know what to expect in the immediate future as well as long-term, if he makes it out of this. He crashed about 24 hours in, b...
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k2k112
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3
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607
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My dog died
(Preview)
Sad that she died. Sad that she was blind and drowned after falling in our pool at night. It was sudden, dramatic, and shocking that way. She was not young, but not how I pictured this. This just happened an hour ago. I am most sad by how sad Chuck is. And I will never forget the way he screamed when we found he...
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pinkchip
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24
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879
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C2C, 9/18
(Preview)
Program Works! The reading for today speaks of the progress a person can make by continuing to work the program. The author says that you can gain awareness of what your own issues are, and sometimes looking back allows you to see your positive changes. Over time you will see growth in your life. By...
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Lyne
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2
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520
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Hope for today sept 17
(Preview)
Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about how worrying, for some of us, has been a way of feeling in control when things around us are out of control. The writer realized in al-anon that there are no gains to worrying over things we cannot change. As with any defect or habit that needs adjusting...
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yanksfan51
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4
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618
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Detaching
(Preview)
I'm doing pretty well on the detaching at the moment. He's been coming down this week - the withdrawal is hitting hard. And I"m ignoring it. That's his consequence for his choices. He lost his work laptop and passport - that's his consequence. He will lose his job next week - that's his consequence. He'...
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MizzB
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6
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662
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Courage to Change (C2C) 9/15/17
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about real acceptance of being powerless. This concept is brought to us by Al-Anon recovery yet reaches beyond the Alcohol or the Alcoholic(s) in our lives. The writers shares about sleepless nights and the tossing/turning/fretting over lack of sleep. After bringing th...
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Iamhere
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5
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571
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Spiritual answers???
(Preview)
When faced with problems I want to respond in a spiritual way but my mind can become confused. Here are my confused thoughts around spirituality. 1. If my external circumstances don't have the power to hurt me and God is in charge anyway then why would we take any action? I mean wouldn't the action be wor...
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el-cee
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13
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1586
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A Gift from my HP?
(Preview)
Coming here, I was not on good terms with my HP. In fact, I didn't even want to admit that I may even have an HP. I was resentful of my AH, resentful of God, and just all around mad at the world. It took months of me first understanding the disease of alcohol (something that wasn't really accepted here, but so...
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PosiesandPuppies
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8
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620
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Giving "Tough Love"
(Preview)
I am new to AL-ANON, I attended my first meeting this week. Just to advise where I am and why I need AL-ANON.... My son is 37 years old, has two children by two different women, and has always had an alcohol problem. I look back and see that he has had this problem since he was 16.. he was in the Army and after...
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Confused Mom
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5
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1149
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ODAT reading 9-12-2017
(Preview)
I am going out of town, camping until Friday, so I am posting thoughts on tomorrow's ODAT reading a day early. Please forgive The ODAT reading for September 12, speaks about the dangers of giving advice, . It points out that we must remember that we are limited in helping others as we do not know wh...
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hotrod
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8
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3090
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I miss my drinking husband.
(Preview)
I have tried to google this but feel I'm the only one. My husband quit drinking last year. I never realized he had a problem. I knew he drank but he was a fun, happy drunk. Since he's been sober, he's more quiet, social anxiety more pronounced, and depressed. He is a wonderful man and great husband and fath...
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thelady
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33
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6943
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Anxiety rising.
(Preview)
So, after I had a positive day, ABF said he has a week to turn round his work performance. Obviously he then goes out drinking after work (I'm assuming but he said he was leaving work 2 hours ago and isn't back yet) and then he messages that he's had his laptop stolen. I'm trying to remain detached. THis is...
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MizzB
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9
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1279
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Courage to Change (9/14/17)
(Preview)
Today's reading discuss the hopelessness and despair many of us suffer as a result of living with alcoholism. Many of us before recovery had our hopes shattered over and over again, and ended up shutting down our feelings and stopped hoping at all. When we work on our recovery, we come to discover a sp...
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Iamhere
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3
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552
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Ruining My Own Peace
(Preview)
I'm really doing a number on myself tonight. Can't sleep and just playing the tapes-of-doom over and over in my head. I used to do a ton of this but have greatly improved since I started regularly attending Al-Anon. I think what's getting me tonight is I've been thinking that our marriage is likely endi...
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WestMan
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30
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1810
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Needing ESH on the "I Love You"
(Preview)
Still checking in w/the posts each day, but cannot linger due to all the things that need to get accomplished w/a move out. Yes, my son and I moved away from my AH. There have been good days and bad. Kid is loving it! I am in a good headspace as long as I hve limited contact w/AH. If I don't, then I do feel sadnes...
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PosiesandPuppies
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6
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3476
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Courage to Change September 13
(Preview)
Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the preciousness of each moment and making the decision to make each moment count. By relying on the AlAnon program, working the 12 steps, and improving their connection to HP, the author is able to stay in the moment and make positive change in that moment...
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Skorpi
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2
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3260
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one small step forwards... have I taken steps back too though?
(Preview)
So, after the ABF's AWOL weekend, I decided to get a dog trainer so I can get a dog sitter (my dog is aggressive towards people due to fear - she's had a hard life)or my parents to come round if necessary when I have late parent meetings. I'm preparing to be on my own. I'm just scared. We spoke this morning bef...
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MizzB
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9
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991
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What am I grateful for today????
(Preview)
TODAY: I am grateful for: My beloved older daughter has been clean for 5-1/2 years and going strong in her program Grateful that my 2nd daughter has gotten back into Al-anon and is working on step 1.. I am recovering, bit by bit over the loss of my dear sister Very grateful that hurricane Irma didn't har...
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mamalioness
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6
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2135
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Man! I did it again!
(Preview)
I don't know what I was thinking. Somehow I just missed the red flag, and I walked right into dealing with another alcoholic. I volunteered for a community project. I really wanted to be a part of it, so I stepped up and volunteered my talent for setting up facebook group and getting the word out about thi...
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Jen
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3
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2346
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Help and Hope
(Preview)
for families and friends of Alcoholics. That is the cover title of the most recent Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2018 issue. The AVA issues are part and parcel of the literature in our house and my wife and I start the day with literature. If you want a seriously recovery effective tool I suggest you get...
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Jerry F
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2
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600
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How do you know Gods will?
(Preview)
The readings today about awareness acceptance and action were relevant to what im living right now. My youngest son, 20, not alcoholic but of course deeply effected, well his behaviour and choices seem to be leaning towards a shady lifestyle with shady other effected young people and I keep getting...
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el-cee
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10
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3229
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Question...what to do...
(Preview)
So, you are in a relationship with someone. You do not live together, but you spend a great deal of time over each other's respective homes. Your SO lives with her two children, one of which, a son, is a heroin addict. So, you have all that going on. The son has a girlfriend who also uses heroin, and drinks....
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Bo
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16
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1608
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I'm a Doofus Sometimes
(Preview)
So I had this crazy emotional roller-coaster week last week. When the weekend finally rolled around I was determined to get out of my head so it was off to the great outdoors. Capped it off yesterday (Sunday) with a great little hike with my daughters. Afterward we popped into a store for some treats. I...
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WestMan
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16
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4131
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Defensive AH
(Preview)
I debated telling AH that I was going to a meeting Monday...but we are a one car family and I'm a stay at home mom, so it's very random that I need the car without him or the kids. So I told him. That was Friday, he didn't say much. He was amazing almost all weekend. Overly affectionate, very sweet. And he's us...
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Cmag3
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17
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3155
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Why can't I put the memories behind me?
(Preview)
My son had moved away in Jan 2016 so it has a little over 1 1/2 years since he lived with us. When he did live with us the last 3-4 years were horrible. He was in the wrong crowd with drinkers and he would go on weekends to parties. Finished high school and started college. His first semester he admitted t...
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hummingbird1094
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8
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1182
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How to deal with lies
(Preview)
I am so thankful I have all of you for sanity. So I know from the meetings that in order to cope with things and not go crazy that I need to not expect too much from my AH and that I just need to acknowledge the behavior to myself and mover on (can;t change him) and not confront him--because will just make him a...
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Dancer66
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5
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1083
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anger vent
(Preview)
I have to vent: I am so disgusted, i mean discussed with the abf. I can not bear to be in the same room as him another moment! He is a useless piece of human being! I mean a waste of time and energy! I can not tolerate a couch potato! Its beyond disgusted that a woman, has to load a truck and take it to the dump, as...
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joker
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6
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820
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Whoooosh
(Preview)
Just passing through, folks, hoping to hear some of your experience, strength and hope. And maybe I'll even tell a story or two. Play safe.
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Wolfie55
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8
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1343
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C2C, 9/11
(Preview)
Fourth Step-The reading discusses taking a fearless and moral inventory, in which the author thought his/her's was not good enough. What he realized was that he felt inadequate his entire life, so he wouldn't be able to do the 4th Step well enough either. But he learned that his best is good enough...
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Lyne
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5
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1068
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Forgotten myself
(Preview)
It's been a really bad weekend. ABF has been AWOL yesterday, lying about going to AA meetings can coming back wasted. Telling me he has a counsellor meeting today but telling his mum a different time so lying again - doubt he's even been to the counsellor but I'm removing myself from that. But I'm stru...
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MizzB
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15
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1038
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my birthday
(Preview)
i turned 60 yesterday and i had a wonderful birthday. was a bit anxious for a little while but it[the anxiety] died of boredom lol anyway boyfriend gave me this big box stuffed with dvds,cds,my fave crackers and a jack skellton soft plush we went to starbucks,then to the museum to see a great Chagall exh...
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YARNCRAZY
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12
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1311
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Reaching out
(Preview)
Hey everyone I know its been a while since I posted but I am actively working my recovery! A situation has just come up and I am struggling. My sponsor is unavailable and out of the 3 program friends I called - I got 3 voicemails. I am acutely aware that I need to diffuse this moment before it complet...
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Fooled
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13
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1508
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South Florida
(Preview)
Yes...I am likely about to get slammed with a hurricane. Evacuating with 7 pets and a job where I am responsible for protecting others was not gonna happen. I have been sober 9 years. Last bad hit here was 2005 so I was WASTED through all of it. I hurt myself stumbling around in the dark. I let branches and...
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pinkchip
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29
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2399
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Hope for Today sept 10
(Preview)
Hi Everyone- Today's reading is about what sponsorship can do for us in recovery. There is a profound line from this reading that hit me hard: "While the alcoholic picked up a drink and became drunk on alcohol, I picked up the alcoholic and became drunk on control and approval-seeking." My oh my is t...
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yanksfan51
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3
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1374
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Some observations ..
(Preview)
My daughter did not come home this weekend .. I was sad .. lol .. seriously .. I miss that girl. I did get to see her she decided she had a lot of work to do and how she really was going to have to buckle down the realities of her schedule has fully hit her. I had a feeling that something else was going on and I men...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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928
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ODAT 9/9 - What am I doing with what I have?
(Preview)
I love this reading apparently because it's highlighted in about 3 different colors .. lol. The statement that I love the most is: What am I doing with what I've got? Instead of crying over what I don't have, and wishing my life were different. I think that this goes into for me the A, boss, kids, whate...
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SerenityRUS
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2
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2170
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Good days, bad days
(Preview)
Grateful for spending the morning with my ABF who was of sound mind and great spirits. But what is around the corner is not lost on me. It is achingly raw and blaring at me. I despise seeing around the next bend with negativity but hoping and being disappointed is much worse. Should i hope?
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Jearnee
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6
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1087
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