Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

haximon · haximon

[[ room ]] I know my destination...portland, oregon! I cannot thank you enough for being so nice to me during this hard time. Thanks to all who offered to help me through this...it is appreciated more than you know... I am leaving on the 5th and will take every chance to get online...

Lani · Lani

Dear Family, I apologize for the delay in sharing my "one-liner" list. I have a hole in my head. Copy and paste them into a file on your desktop and share them often. They are life-savers when living with a diseased loved one. (interesting how the word "diseased" resembles the word "d...

starlight · starlight

Greetings everyone, I am looking for people interested in joining my fearbuster group. We will meet for 12 weeks via the phone. My fearbuster groups are based on the principles of the book Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten. Fearles...

dove · dove

I am at a loss to see how there can be anything substantive between us. He completely bamboozled me for years. I am not ready to put myself in that position again. Maybe I never will be. It wasn’t easy for me to surrender myself to a man, to love. And now – it may be impossible. I may not have enough life le...

hvnly1 · hvnly1

Guess it really ticks some people off to see others doing well. I don't care. I will do what i need to do for me. For that is what Al anon is about. I will seek MY HP. I will submitt to my HP. I know i can't be anyone else's HP. I know that HP will show people what th...

cdb · cdb

Hello everyone, Thanks again for your unconditional support. My daughter stopped by today. She made herself something to eat and enjoyed time with her kitten. I was still feeling quite numb and know that I already said all the things I wanted to say to her this past week. Repeating&nb...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Our father Who Art In Heaven. Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. But -- you called ME! Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven. There -- you did it again! Did what? Called ME. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind? But I d...

marmare · marmare

Okay so I started freaking myself out about money, this is the day I write the check for the mortgage, he usually deposits his check around 4:30 or 5, I called the automated line and there was no deposit. The "what if game" started playing in my head.....deep breaths, let go let God....t...

marmare · marmare

When he didn't come home last night, I figured he would call me when he got off work. I called his voice mail and had left him a message to let me know what is going on. I tried to call his phone, he won't answer it. I hate feeling unwanted.....it is lonely and empty.....

mom to 2 · mom to 2

Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...

kitty · kitty

The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...

Mandi · Mandi

I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...

browneyes · browneyes

I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...

LLPluv · LLPluv

I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...

haximon · haximon

I have just found out I will be evicted from my apartment on the 5th as I have no money left. I will be moving to parts unknown as yet...I'm a free agent. If anyone has connections to get me to a safer start where you are, please post! Thank you [[[ room ]]] haximon

mamasan · mamasan

Wow, Last week my x-A, father to our kids, (and who knows how may more...) suffered a stroke, heart attack and a drug overdose with alcohol adding to that. He was found fully clothed in, a tub full of water, partially submerged, in the rooming house he lives in. Claimi...

Maggie1 · Maggie1

Hi everybody.. I turned 50 this year and my life has taken and interesting turn.. I have set boundries with my family, friends and stepdaughter. My husband is beginning to think I have a problem but I have been in therapy over this. The dr. said I am cleaning house. ...

kitty · kitty

So I was happier today but i didn't want to work & finish my project, I wanted to hang w/ mom. The A is being so irritating, the last few days he is just not leaving my mother alone. I cannot believe he wants to poke her fire ~ just leave her alone! Can't he see she needs space? Doesn't he real...

megan · megan

Hello friends I am going on tour for the next few months. August I will be in Saranac lake NY to visit my sister August I will be in Houston to visit my other sister. September I will be in Canada (1 hour west of Calgary) September – Jackson Hole, WY September – North Carolina 1 hour fr...

ditto · ditto

I don't know why he can't tell the truth about anything. But, he doesn't. And I have stopped believing anything he says. I never know what is fact and what is made up. How does anyone live with that kind of shifting reality? How do you deal with it?

marmare · marmare

First thank you Louise for the wonderful except. I put in on my desk at work and will place it in my daily meditation book!!!!! I feel that I am living with Sybil....My A called me on his way home to tell me was going to stop and play 9 holes of golf. We have pizza on Thursdays, so I asked if I sho...

debilyn · debilyn

Well around here, the Great Pyrenees, Sauveur wakes us all up when the sun comes up. But this morning it was 4:00, still dark. Since I could not go back to sleep, I decided to fix my glasses. The darn arm kept falling off, along with the lens popping out, was a bit of a hassle. It is pretty much a drag to ha...

marmare · marmare

Good Morning... This is the worst it has ever been. I went home last night, my A was bar-b-queing.....he said I looked great in my shorts, kind of hugged me and kissed the top of my head....we ate dinner, I didn't say too much. Still reeling somewhat from the last two weeks. I don't...

cdb · cdb

Hello friends, Josey recently replied to my post asking for prayers for her son way down below or on the next page now. I am not sure why she didn't start a new post since he doesn't sound very well :( I am sure more prayers are needed at this time. Please go and see what she posted. Hopefully she wil...

ditto · ditto

I went to my first face-2-face al-anon meeting today. It only lasted about 1.5 hours and it took all of 15 minutes to arrive home. When I got home there was the A accusing me of ruining our marriage by seeking outside "therapy" and that he should be the one I "turn to" and that he is going to sol...

tullemars · tullemars

Somedays are just great.

I told my A last night I was wrong to question why she did not want to go her meetings. It made me feel great. I know my HP has plans for me and my A. I am back on track in making me happy. Sometimes it is tough realize that maybe your spouse isn't suppose to be...

kitty · kitty

I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...

cdb · cdb

Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...

cdb · cdb

Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...

Cindyb · Cindyb

I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy

Kim · Kim

Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...

afglin · afglin

Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...

dove · dove

I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...

Carol · Carol

I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...

tullemars · tullemars

Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...

wille · wille

Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...

marmare · marmare

I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...

nmike · nmike

Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...

megan · megan

I received on Monday the draft of my pleading. This, in NJ is what a divorce action is called. My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king. It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer. It is strange to think that I live...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. This is something I wanted to share with you all. There is an older lady at work, I always knew she was a pip, always smiling, joking, and makes everyone feel good just being around her. She has an incredible smile and bright red hair. I never knew how old s...

lebe27 · lebe27

My A got out of detox couple of weeks ago now. Has been attending 4 day/week, 4 hour/day group therapy sessions. And he is just miserable. Angry at the world. He is suppose to start individual counselling Aug 15th but don't think he will make it until then. So many issu...

holly123 · holly123

Thanks everyone for your replies to my previous post. Last night I spoke with my a and I'm not sure if he got that I was serious or not but I meant every word I said, of course part of me wanted him to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness but it didn't matter that he didn't I said what I wanted and went to be...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

Well I am extremely frustrated right now and it's even harder to deal because I'm at work. My husband was suppose to go at 4:00 today for an alcohol assessment and what does he do?? You got it, get's wasted instead. Got a phone call from my son about an hour ago said that he was extremel...

kitty · kitty

I am grateful reading the posts & responses today, it really helps a lot to share. All of us have experienced similiar things, in one way or another w/ the "A" in our lives. It runs in my family & many of my friends & b/f's have been addicts as well. I'm nearly 40 & I am reali...

kitty · kitty

I am absolutely devastated. My mother & step father have been married 25 years. I thought they had the perfect relationship although he does drink. Last week my mother told me he's been cheating for 20 years. So all of this time when I felt like I wasn't successful eno...

TLC2 · TLC2

I was away and haven't had time to catch up on the shares, but haven't seen your name on the board since the duct tape. Are you ok hon? Guess the duct tape didn't get there on time, huh? I've been praying that he didn't hurt you, we all love you very much!! Please let us know how you made out, k? Love, TLC

Carol · Carol

I am having trouble with myself. I have been divorced from my A for 2 1/2 years now but we have continued to live together on and off for that time. He goes in and out of the program and does well for awhile then WHAM same ole thing. For the past I say 6 months I would say his mood swings have...

holly123 · holly123

I am really confused right now, my a doesn't really help out very much around the house or with the kids, granted they are 9 and 6 but they still need love and attention and I can't always be the one to know their schedules and keep up with them. Anyway thats not the real confusing part, the worst pa...

ditto · ditto

Hi, I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and thre...

TLC2 · TLC2

Thank You HP!!! For being so good to Debilyn!!!! Sorry about the last post, couldn't find you. I don't always get on here as long as I'd like. Now I will go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of Debilyn and her love, Love TLC

browneyes · browneyes

Hey It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...

gamayrouge · gamayrouge

I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...

melanieL · melanieL

My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...

kathy570 · kathy570

Mod. July 25 Hello All, I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold. My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...

marmare · marmare

My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...

marmare · marmare

Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...

debilyn · debilyn

LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look at him. Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of my life. I told him he chose that. ...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Portland bound!! (Preview) [[ room ]] I know my destination...portland, oregon! I cannot thank you enough for being so nice to me during this hard time. Thanks to all who offered to help me through this...it is appreciated more than you know... I am leaving on the 5th and will take every chance to get online...	haximon	10	2889	Jul 31, 2005 by afglin
	FAVORITE ONE-LINERS (Preview) Dear Family, I apologize for the delay in sharing my "one-liner" list. I have a hole in my head. Copy and paste them into a file on your desktop and share them often. They are life-savers when living with a diseased loved one. (interesting how the word "diseased" resembles the word "d...	Lani	1	4752	Jul 31, 2005 by afglin
	Fearbuster Group (Preview) Greetings everyone, I am looking for people interested in joining my fearbuster group. We will meet for 12 weeks via the phone. My fearbuster groups are based on the principles of the book Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret by Rhonda Britten. Fearles...	starlight	0	687	Jul 31, 2005 by starlight
	I Am Afraid (Preview) I am at a loss to see how there can be anything substantive between us. He completely bamboozled me for years. I am not ready to put myself in that position again. Maybe I never will be. It wasn’t easy for me to surrender myself to a man, to love. And now – it may be impossible. I may not have enough life le...	dove	6	888	Jul 31, 2005 by kathy570
	working my own program (Preview) Guess it really ticks some people off to see others doing well. I don't care. I will do what i need to do for me. For that is what Al anon is about. I will seek MY HP. I will submitt to my HP. I know i can't be anyone else's HP. I know that HP will show people what th...	hvnly1	4	933	Jul 31, 2005 by hvnly1
	Update on daughter (Preview) Hello everyone, Thanks again for your unconditional support. My daughter stopped by today. She made herself something to eat and enjoyed time with her kitten. I was still feeling quite numb and know that I already said all the things I wanted to say to her this past week. Repeating&nb...	cdb	6	917	Jul 31, 2005 by hvnly1
	Lord's Prayer with a Twist! (Preview) Our father Who Art In Heaven. Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying. But -- you called ME! Called you? No, I didn't call you. I'm praying. Our Father who art in Heaven. There -- you did it again! Did what? Called ME. You said, "Our Father who art in Heaven" Well, here I am. What's on your mind? But I d...	Peggy7	2	811	Jul 31, 2005 by kitty
	He called (Preview) Okay so I started freaking myself out about money, this is the day I write the check for the mortgage, he usually deposits his check around 4:30 or 5, I called the automated line and there was no deposit. The "what if game" started playing in my head.....deep breaths, let go let God....t...	marmare	3	796	Jul 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	I hate this.... (Preview) When he didn't come home last night, I figured he would call me when he got off work. I called his voice mail and had left him a message to let me know what is going on. I tried to call his phone, he won't answer it. I hate feeling unwanted.....it is lonely and empty.....	marmare	5	847	Jul 31, 2005 by Dolphin123
	looking for insight (Preview) Hi everyone, I will start by saying that I know I need to focus on myself. I'm trying-going to meeting tomorrrow evening. My second. As I write this I am staring at a picture of myself and my husband hugging--we were happy. His drinking was getting progressively worse--he knew and...	mom to 2	11	835	Jul 30, 2005 by megan
	straight forward for them (Preview) The A is already self-involved - it (the program) seems pretty straight forward for them. For me, the struggle to keep focus on myself is really difficult, since we disassociate so much from ourselves - always concerned with how, when or why the A is doing. I thnk God for this board, the last 5 d...	kitty	4	764	Jul 30, 2005 by dove
	Why do I give him this power over me?? (Preview) I have not seen my alcoholic ex husband in over two years (except for once in court) and yet I am still terrified of him. My step daughters birthday was today and she now lives in another state with him. I bought her a card and let her little brother sign his name to it. As I signed mine, I...	Mandi	3	863	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	I am so messed up (Preview) I think there is seriously something wrong with me. I am 36 years old and last month I tried to go out with someone who is 23. I met him last summer and again I saw him at the grocery store last month and gave him my phone number.. I didn't know he was that young. But anyway...	browneyes	7	939	Jul 30, 2005 by browneyes
	First time asking for help (Preview) I have been married for 14 years to a wonderful man. He has one flaw he has addiction issues. First it was his drinking it moved to smoking pot then occasionally he does a line or two. You could never tell by his behavior hes so good to everyone. He has always provided well for myself and the children. Hes lo...	LLPluv	25	1090	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
	Homeless on the 5th (Preview) I have just found out I will be evicted from my apartment on the 5th as I have no money left. I will be moving to parts unknown as yet...I'm a free agent. If anyone has connections to get me to a safer start where you are, please post! Thank you [[[ room ]]] haximon	haximon	11	1812	Jul 30, 2005 by lildee
	Lesson Learned? (Preview) Wow, Last week my x-A, father to our kids, (and who knows how may more...) suffered a stroke, heart attack and a drug overdose with alcohol adding to that. He was found fully clothed in, a tub full of water, partially submerged, in the rooming house he lives in. Claimi...	mamasan	3	859	Jul 30, 2005 by mamasan
	I am feeling crazy here. Help! (Preview) Hi everybody.. I turned 50 this year and my life has taken and interesting turn.. I have set boundries with my family, friends and stepdaughter. My husband is beginning to think I have a problem but I have been in therapy over this. The dr. said I am cleaning house. ...	Maggie1	5	920	Jul 29, 2005 by Maggie1
	today's better (Preview) So I was happier today but i didn't want to work & finish my project, I wanted to hang w/ mom. The A is being so irritating, the last few days he is just not leaving my mother alone. I cannot believe he wants to poke her fire ~ just leave her alone! Can't he see she needs space? Doesn't he real...	kitty	1	766	Jul 29, 2005 by dove
	meeting up in the real world (Preview) Hello friends I am going on tour for the next few months. August I will be in Saranac lake NY to visit my sister August I will be in Houston to visit my other sister. September I will be in Canada (1 hour west of Calgary) September – Jackson Hole, WY September – North Carolina 1 hour fr...	megan	9	915	Jul 29, 2005 by megan
	How do you deal with the lies? (Preview) I don't know why he can't tell the truth about anything. But, he doesn't. And I have stopped believing anything he says. I never know what is fact and what is made up. How does anyone live with that kind of shifting reality? How do you deal with it?	ditto	8	925	Jul 29, 2005 by twinmom2
	Life with "Sybil" (Preview) First thank you Louise for the wonderful except. I put in on my desk at work and will place it in my daily meditation book!!!!! I feel that I am living with Sybil....My A called me on his way home to tell me was going to stop and play 9 holes of golf. We have pizza on Thursdays, so I asked if I sho...	marmare	3	1516	Jul 29, 2005 by kitty
	A hot day at Eden for you (Preview) Well around here, the Great Pyrenees, Sauveur wakes us all up when the sun comes up. But this morning it was 4:00, still dark. Since I could not go back to sleep, I decided to fix my glasses. The darn arm kept falling off, along with the lens popping out, was a bit of a hassle. It is pretty much a drag to ha...	debilyn	7	907	Jul 29, 2005 by Belongtome
	This is the worst it has ever been... (Preview) Good Morning... This is the worst it has ever been. I went home last night, my A was bar-b-queing.....he said I looked great in my shorts, kind of hugged me and kissed the top of my head....we ate dinner, I didn't say too much. Still reeling somewhat from the last two weeks. I don't...	marmare	9	1173	Jul 29, 2005 by kathy570
	Update on jrtjosey's son (Preview) Hello friends, Josey recently replied to my post asking for prayers for her son way down below or on the next page now. I am not sure why she didn't start a new post since he doesn't sound very well :( I am sure more prayers are needed at this time. Please go and see what she posted. Hopefully she wil...	cdb	3	751	Jul 29, 2005 by kathy570
	Would like to slap him (Preview) I went to my first face-2-face al-anon meeting today. It only lasted about 1.5 hours and it took all of 15 minutes to arrive home. When I got home there was the A accusing me of ruining our marriage by seeking outside "therapy" and that he should be the one I "turn to" and that he is going to sol...	ditto	8	1185	Jul 29, 2005 by Belongtome
	Winning Today (Preview) Somedays are just great. I told my A last night I was wrong to question why she did not want to go her meetings. It made me feel great. I know my HP has plans for me and my A. I am back on track in making me happy. Sometimes it is tough realize that maybe your spouse isn't suppose to be...	tullemars	4	890	Jul 29, 2005 by gamayrouge
	grasping to the serenety prayer (Preview) I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...	kitty	5	1188	Jul 28, 2005 by kitty
	Where are YOU HP??? (Preview) Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...	cdb	25	1470	Jul 28, 2005 by sanddie
	Prayers for jrtjoseys's son please (Preview) Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...	cdb	4	1202	Jul 28, 2005 by jrtjosey
	Son in Iraq (Preview) I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy	Cindyb	6	1418	Jul 28, 2005 by nmike
	relapse (Preview) Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...	Kim	6	1069	Jul 28, 2005 by Kim
	so disappointed... (Preview) Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...	afglin	13	929	Jul 28, 2005 by mamasan
	Me and the Rat (Preview) I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...	dove	4	1141	Jul 28, 2005 by kathy570
	IT HURTS TO SAY NO (Preview) I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...	Carol	6	1018	Jul 28, 2005 by jo4
	Detach with love. (Preview) Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...	tullemars	6	894	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	thank you 4 your thoughts to UK Josh (Preview) Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...	wille	1	808	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	I use to (Preview) I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...	marmare	3	837	Jul 28, 2005 by browneyes
	Fear/Paranoia (Preview) Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...	beachbaby	6	900	Jul 28, 2005 by lin0606
	My Family (Preview) Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...	nmike	3	1096	Jul 28, 2005 by ditto
	success stories with treamtent centers (Preview) My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...	Siverhusk	5	981	Jul 28, 2005 by afglin
	Acceptance and my Pleading (Preview) I received on Monday the draft of my pleading. This, in NJ is what a divorce action is called. My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king. It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer. It is strange to think that I live...	megan	8	1207	Jul 28, 2005 by megan
	Wow! What an incredible lady. (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. This is something I wanted to share with you all. There is an older lady at work, I always knew she was a pip, always smiling, joking, and makes everyone feel good just being around her. She has an incredible smile and bright red hair. I never knew how old s...	Jeannie	5	897	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	A in misery (Preview) My A got out of detox couple of weeks ago now. Has been attending 4 day/week, 4 hour/day group therapy sessions. And he is just miserable. Angry at the world. He is suppose to start individual counselling Aug 15th but don't think he will make it until then. So many issu...	lebe27	9	1175	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	feeling better today (Preview) Thanks everyone for your replies to my previous post. Last night I spoke with my a and I'm not sure if he got that I was serious or not but I meant every word I said, of course part of me wanted him to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness but it didn't matter that he didn't I said what I wanted and went to be...	holly123	3	993	Jul 27, 2005 by nmike
	A was "suppose" to do assessment today (Preview) Well I am extremely frustrated right now and it's even harder to deal because I'm at work. My husband was suppose to go at 4:00 today for an alcohol assessment and what does he do?? You got it, get's wasted instead. Got a phone call from my son about an hour ago said that he was extremel...	Siverhusk	5	1827	Jul 27, 2005 by kathy570
	Grateful Today (Preview) I am grateful reading the posts & responses today, it really helps a lot to share. All of us have experienced similiar things, in one way or another w/ the "A" in our lives. It runs in my family & many of my friends & b/f's have been addicts as well. I'm nearly 40 & I am reali...	kitty	3	754	Jul 27, 2005 by kathy570
	Back to the program after 15 years (Preview) I am absolutely devastated. My mother & step father have been married 25 years. I thought they had the perfect relationship although he does drink. Last week my mother told me he's been cheating for 20 years. So all of this time when I felt like I wasn't successful eno...	kitty	4	1149	Jul 27, 2005 by toto12
	Debilyn? (Preview) I was away and haven't had time to catch up on the shares, but haven't seen your name on the board since the duct tape. Are you ok hon? Guess the duct tape didn't get there on time, huh? I've been praying that he didn't hurt you, we all love you very much!! Please let us know how you made out, k? Love, TLC	TLC2	3	1051	Jul 27, 2005 by Jeannie
	Doing the Same Thing Over and Over (Preview) I am having trouble with myself. I have been divorced from my A for 2 1/2 years now but we have continued to live together on and off for that time. He goes in and out of the program and does well for awhile then WHAM same ole thing. For the past I say 6 months I would say his mood swings have...	Carol	3	1177	Jul 27, 2005 by Carol
	I am so confused and frustrated! (Preview) I am really confused right now, my a doesn't really help out very much around the house or with the kids, granted they are 9 and 6 but they still need love and attention and I can't always be the one to know their schedules and keep up with them. Anyway thats not the real confusing part, the worst pa...	holly123	4	1051	Jul 26, 2005 by lin0606
	New to this (Preview) Hi, I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and thre...	ditto	5	963	Jul 26, 2005 by ditto
	YAHOOOOOO!!!! (Preview) Thank You HP!!! For being so good to Debilyn!!!! Sorry about the last post, couldn't find you. I don't always get on here as long as I'd like. Now I will go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of Debilyn and her love, Love TLC	TLC2	0	837	Jul 26, 2005 by TLC2
	Basically fighting for the good life (Preview) Hey It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...	browneyes	2	1040	Jul 26, 2005 by lin0606
	discouraged (Preview) I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...	gamayrouge	5	1154	Jul 26, 2005 by Christy
	THE BIG BOOK (Preview) My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...	melanieL	7	2639	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	Ready to Scream!!!!!!!!! HELP (Preview) Mod. July 25 Hello All, I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold. My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...	kathy570	5	1042	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	What do you think? (Preview) My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...	marmare	6	1155	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	Back to Square One (Preview) Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...	marmare	2	1037	Jul 26, 2005 by isabela40
	UNDERSTANDING this Disease-sites (Preview) check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...	wallsal55	1	743	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	update on duct tape night..... (Preview) LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look at him. Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of my life. I told him he chose that. ...	debilyn	4	1095	Jul 26, 2005 by sg
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.