Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

kitty · kitty

I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...

cdb · cdb

Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...

cdb · cdb

Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...

Cindyb · Cindyb

I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy

Kim · Kim

Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...

afglin · afglin

Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...

dove · dove

I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...

Carol · Carol

I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...

tullemars · tullemars

Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...

wille · wille

Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...

marmare · marmare

I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...

beachbaby · beachbaby

Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...

nmike · nmike

Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...

megan · megan

I received on Monday the draft of my pleading. This, in NJ is what a divorce action is called. My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king. It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer. It is strange to think that I live...

Jeannie · Jeannie

Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. This is something I wanted to share with you all. There is an older lady at work, I always knew she was a pip, always smiling, joking, and makes everyone feel good just being around her. She has an incredible smile and bright red hair. I never knew how old s...

lebe27 · lebe27

My A got out of detox couple of weeks ago now. Has been attending 4 day/week, 4 hour/day group therapy sessions. And he is just miserable. Angry at the world. He is suppose to start individual counselling Aug 15th but don't think he will make it until then. So many issu...

holly123 · holly123

Thanks everyone for your replies to my previous post. Last night I spoke with my a and I'm not sure if he got that I was serious or not but I meant every word I said, of course part of me wanted him to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness but it didn't matter that he didn't I said what I wanted and went to be...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

Well I am extremely frustrated right now and it's even harder to deal because I'm at work. My husband was suppose to go at 4:00 today for an alcohol assessment and what does he do?? You got it, get's wasted instead. Got a phone call from my son about an hour ago said that he was extremel...

kitty · kitty

I am grateful reading the posts & responses today, it really helps a lot to share. All of us have experienced similiar things, in one way or another w/ the "A" in our lives. It runs in my family & many of my friends & b/f's have been addicts as well. I'm nearly 40 & I am reali...

kitty · kitty

I am absolutely devastated. My mother & step father have been married 25 years. I thought they had the perfect relationship although he does drink. Last week my mother told me he's been cheating for 20 years. So all of this time when I felt like I wasn't successful eno...

TLC2 · TLC2

I was away and haven't had time to catch up on the shares, but haven't seen your name on the board since the duct tape. Are you ok hon? Guess the duct tape didn't get there on time, huh? I've been praying that he didn't hurt you, we all love you very much!! Please let us know how you made out, k? Love, TLC

Carol · Carol

I am having trouble with myself. I have been divorced from my A for 2 1/2 years now but we have continued to live together on and off for that time. He goes in and out of the program and does well for awhile then WHAM same ole thing. For the past I say 6 months I would say his mood swings have...

holly123 · holly123

I am really confused right now, my a doesn't really help out very much around the house or with the kids, granted they are 9 and 6 but they still need love and attention and I can't always be the one to know their schedules and keep up with them. Anyway thats not the real confusing part, the worst pa...

ditto · ditto

Hi, I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and thre...

TLC2 · TLC2

Thank You HP!!! For being so good to Debilyn!!!! Sorry about the last post, couldn't find you. I don't always get on here as long as I'd like. Now I will go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of Debilyn and her love, Love TLC

browneyes · browneyes

Hey It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...

gamayrouge · gamayrouge

I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...

melanieL · melanieL

My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...

kathy570 · kathy570

Mod. July 25 Hello All, I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold. My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...

marmare · marmare

My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...

marmare · marmare

Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...

debilyn · debilyn

LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look at him. Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of my life. I told him he chose that. ...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Practicing detachment for three or four weeks helped me at least grasp the concept of detaching. It is helpful to learn about it at Alanon meetings and pick up the pamplet on detachment there, as well as the newcomer packet. For further supplemental reading: ...

bob_ia · bob_ia

Ive chatted with many of you over the past month or so. Thank you for offering this forum and chat to vent feelings and fears and yes joy when it comes. My request today and i will hope if i may would be to request prayers for my friend Lori. Lori is a wondeful person she a joy to be with. Even the hard times...

Kolar123 · Kolar123

Just thought i wold say hi new to this part of the web site been on the chat I am feeling really depressed tonight and just need to vent. Chat room is full so any way. No I do not know why i am depressed just am Bi- Polar I belive is hitting me hard just not doing well with it . Al...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

How do you deal with having to repeat everything to your A about 10 times?? It just drives me nuts sometimes. I used to just get furious about it and finally say I'm not going to repeat myself anymore but that doesn't do any good. While he's drunk he will ask me the same question over an...

socaltom · socaltom

I just learned last Friday, a day before my 57th birthday, that my 21 year old daughter was an alcoholic and a self-medicating drug user. At first, I thought "well, this'll be the crummiest birthday I ever had in my life." But now I realize my daughter gave me the greatest gift I ever could have -- she came...

wallsal55 · wallsal55

If you live in town or are in town, do not leave your cars unlocked or your windows down! When you come back, there will be zuccinni on your seat!

Belongtome · Belongtome

Happy Monday everyone...it was a heck of a weekend around here. Fri, I had worked from 7:30 am, and got home at 10 pm, after my A had ended his workday at 1:30 pm and played 18 holes of golf. Sat, I was on my way to help him at work, and said I needed to stop for two errands. He said to skip one errand ti...

judy · judy

I have been in al-anon for a while now. Still trying to work the fourth step. My spouse is the adult child of an alcoholic. His drug of choice is pot. Most of the time I can use the program to deal with the highs and lows that come with our relationship. I am finding it almost imposs...

debilyn · debilyn

Someone tape me to my chair!!!! I am doing my best to talk myself out of going to see the A. I have not seen him for many weeks. I don't even know what makes me want to see him. Well yes I do. I am so lonely for him. It is so hard to love someone since you were ' a kid, and share life with him all your life, t...

diane · diane

this is my first time to be envolved with a chat family group. i need as much help as possible.

kathy570 · kathy570

Sun. July 24 I am a recovering A with a very active A hubby. In reading my own AA material, I find tons of readings that would give comfort to Al Anon members. ( My opinion- They help me understand my A better & give me comfort & hope) Am I allowed to post AA readings on this board??? You...

WStar · WStar

I'v closed my door to this (A) person and this (A) still returns with a vengence, Can anyone help me with how to calm the inner self?? I let all that is stressing me in Gods hands and I don't let this stuff get to me.But when I sleep at nite it hits me it wakes me I dream of the stress going on. I mu...

laura · laura

Well I don't mean the person i mean the disease. I am new to this whole thing of not being alone and talking about my feelings. Not very good yet. I don't understand how someone get so low that they need help and still don't see it. My mom got so bad and lived in such awful conditions and y...

Belongtome · Belongtome

A friend at the bank says money is a subject that can really separate a couple, and maybe she's right. My A worked 1 day at his paying job last week, and 2 for our business. He also hired somebody to work 2 days for us (money is soooo tight right now). On Thurs he said he didn't feel like workin...

Siverhusk · Siverhusk

Hi, I'm pretty new here (2nd post) and I'm wondering what books you guys recommended for me to read? I'm new to this al-anon stuff and I'm looking for the best way to deal with my A, how to cope, how to get rid of my anger, detachment, etc... I saw a couple listed on the front page,...

megan · megan

I saw the lawyer today that my sister who just graduated law school recommended. I spent about 15 minutes with him @$425 an hour and then he turned me over to an associate @$325 an hour. I am filing for divorce under mental cruelty with a subcomponent of habitul drunkeness. The lawyer...

Cam · Cam

I am writing a letter to my wife telling her that we need better communication. How we need to tell each other what we are feeling, what each of our wants and or needs are. I am telling her how I feel and the fact that I don't know what to talk to her about any more, or that I am not sure about what we...

marmare · marmare

I started last Monday or Tuesday with the thought "Let Go and Let God"...this has been hard for me to trust God completely. My A goes out every Friday with the guys. His best friend's dad is very very sick and had to have surgery to remove blood clots from his legs, they said because th...

browneyes · browneyes

Hello Hope you're all well Just amazing that my husband asked me if he "could get a little" before he left for a road trip. i told him a couple of days ago that yes, I was the one that called the Parole Officer on him because I was liable for any damage he caused since we were married and I did...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

1. Give God what's right -- not what's left. 2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope. 3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. 4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. 5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be th...

toto12 · toto12

Hi all! Well, I first heard of the concept of an inner child in me in a therapy session in Germany. The German therapist told me I was to imagine the adult in me and converse with my inner child. I even had to use diff. chairs and change places according to role. I found this very f...

jj · jj

Well I am back and wanted to report that our trip was very serene!!! Just what I needed!!! I felt more than wonderful and refreshed when I got back but that sure didn't last long!!!! Right now I think that I am worse off now than when I left. No meetings for 2 weeks and there is one tonight that I could go t...

cdb · cdb

MY daughter called me after 2pm drunk :( She didn't know what she was saying,,,out of her mind as usual wanting someone's number she has no business calling :( I called the number back where she called from. Just got an answering voice,,,,some stupid dude guys voice I don't know. Not her b...

sg · sg

Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the Program. I have been in Alanon for about 8 yrs now and what a lifesaver! I met my husband at an Alanon/AA banquet in 1998. He was a few yrs sober and was very active in AA. Talk about a wonderful beginning! I had originally joined Alanon due to my ex who was...

Apple Pie · Apple Pie

I have never been to a meeting before-- although a family member has been trying to get me to go for several years (as most of my family are A's) and knows it would help me to better understand everyone... including my spouse, who I believe is also an A. I did read some other posts and I can really relate. ...

cloud · cloud

Hey all ((((((((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you all for your prayers and such kind words I love you all so much My gram looked really bas Tues night, but wens night seemed much better, maybe the meds are woeking for her, I quest. if it is possible that she had another stroke, mayb...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	grasping to the serenety prayer (Preview) I have a bad feeling today will be a struggle from moment to moment. Detachment will probably be the most difficult thing for me to actualize. For 20 yrs I felt like there was something wrong with me, like I was always letting my parents down. I couldn't really find peace of mind, joy...	kitty	5	1010	Jul 28, 2005 by kitty
	Where are YOU HP??? (Preview) Is this a bad dream or a nightmare? This must be a nightmare! I can hardly stand this anymore. Not only is my daughter paranoid and drunk right now and was violent again, but there is someone else is in the room with more problems than my daughter? I feel guilty posting. My daughter doesn't have kid...	cdb	25	1215	Jul 28, 2005 by sanddie
	Prayers for jrtjoseys's son please (Preview) Hello all, jrtjosey called me tonite and asked me to ask you for prayers for one of her twin boys. She is on vacation at her mother's house and her son came down with severe lower quadrant pain, high fever and a high white count. So far they ruled appendicitis out. She has a bed next t...	cdb	4	1038	Jul 28, 2005 by jrtjosey
	Son in Iraq (Preview) I have been in the program for quite a while. I have an only child, son, leaving for Iraq in a couple weeks. He's in the Air Force. I am looking for 12 step experience in how your handled it. Help !!! Cindy	Cindyb	6	1242	Jul 28, 2005 by nmike
	relapse (Preview) Hello. this is my first time posting here, and honestly I don't know where to start. I have been married to my A for 3 years and with him for 5. He has been in and out of recovery for the last three (for drugs and alcohol)and I just recently found out that he relapsed and has been smokin...	Kim	6	865	Jul 28, 2005 by Kim
	so disappointed... (Preview) Last night I accidentally stumbled across a little brown bag. (the kind the liquor stores use) I glanced around for the empty bottle and found none so i looked out on t he patio in the gutter and found 3 empty bottles. (there may be more) I was really disappointed. I could not even get to slee...	afglin	13	772	Jul 28, 2005 by mamasan
	Me and the Rat (Preview) I got an email from "B" on 7/15/2005. He gave documented proof of a "romantic" liasion between his wife and my husband -- my A. It was incredibly, painfully, infuriatingly difficult to deal with the information in the email. Text messages "A" wrote to her include "Y...	dove	4	978	Jul 28, 2005 by kathy570
	IT HURTS TO SAY NO (Preview) I need to vent, talk it out, stop hurting, ect. I told my A that he could not come home as I don't want to live the way I was living and that it was best for me. He was not happy with me to say the least. Remember nothing has changed, except the fact that I am not the same person that kept takin...	Carol	6	837	Jul 28, 2005 by jo4
	Detach with love. (Preview) Hello all, I hope all of you are thinking about yourself and not your A. Not like me who still falls in love again and again. I try to keep my emotions at a healthy level but sometimes I start to love too much. Then I get dissapointed. She is in recovery now and I see signs that she might not be makin...	tullemars	6	722	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	thank you 4 your thoughts to UK Josh (Preview) Hi all, Josh's family wants to thank everyone for their dreams / thoughts / to Josh. He is coming right along in his recovery. Josh TBI-s some months back and with everyone's thought, he is coming right around. Thank you again, and my thoughts n prayers n hopes to you as well. Oceans...	wille	1	649	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	I use to (Preview) I use to dread the quiet times, when my A is not being so crazy. I use to wait for the other shoe to drop. What crisis is next? After the drama filled weekend, the hurt, the disapointment, the doubting of the HP plans, I found that last night and today are quiet days. The di...	marmare	3	636	Jul 28, 2005 by browneyes
	Fear/Paranoia (Preview) Hi, I am new to this board but I could use some insight to my reaction. I am currently dating a Recovering A who has been sober for a year, he is very active in AA, working the steps, spending time with his sponsor, etc. Friday he started getting sick throwing up, weak, blury vision-despite bei...	beachbaby	6	684	Jul 28, 2005 by lin0606
	My Family (Preview) Hi all, I appreciate your posts. I learn so much. Well, my husband has been gone for 2 months. At times we can barely be civil on the phone. I can't figure out why he is so angry at me when he's the one that moved out! We are going to see our son in the military this weekend. He will be going overseas i...	nmike	3	887	Jul 28, 2005 by ditto
	success stories with treamtent centers (Preview) My A (husband) is starting his first night of outpatient treatment tonight and I would just like to hear some success stories or failure stories. Not sure what to expect from all of this.... He had an assessment today (that I went to with him, he asked me to go) and the lady said he definitel...	Siverhusk	5	800	Jul 28, 2005 by afglin
	Acceptance and my Pleading (Preview) I received on Monday the draft of my pleading. This, in NJ is what a divorce action is called. My brother an expat lawyer says this is from the days of pleading your case before the king. It is strange to see my dirty laundry all fancied up by the lawyer. It is strange to think that I live...	megan	8	1032	Jul 28, 2005 by megan
	Wow! What an incredible lady. (Preview) Hi everyone, I hope you are all well. This is something I wanted to share with you all. There is an older lady at work, I always knew she was a pip, always smiling, joking, and makes everyone feel good just being around her. She has an incredible smile and bright red hair. I never knew how old s...	Jeannie	5	721	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	A in misery (Preview) My A got out of detox couple of weeks ago now. Has been attending 4 day/week, 4 hour/day group therapy sessions. And he is just miserable. Angry at the world. He is suppose to start individual counselling Aug 15th but don't think he will make it until then. So many issu...	lebe27	9	1001	Jul 28, 2005 by cdb
	feeling better today (Preview) Thanks everyone for your replies to my previous post. Last night I spoke with my a and I'm not sure if he got that I was serious or not but I meant every word I said, of course part of me wanted him to fall on his knees and beg for forgiveness but it didn't matter that he didn't I said what I wanted and went to be...	holly123	3	821	Jul 27, 2005 by nmike
	A was "suppose" to do assessment today (Preview) Well I am extremely frustrated right now and it's even harder to deal because I'm at work. My husband was suppose to go at 4:00 today for an alcohol assessment and what does he do?? You got it, get's wasted instead. Got a phone call from my son about an hour ago said that he was extremel...	Siverhusk	5	1513	Jul 27, 2005 by kathy570
	Grateful Today (Preview) I am grateful reading the posts & responses today, it really helps a lot to share. All of us have experienced similiar things, in one way or another w/ the "A" in our lives. It runs in my family & many of my friends & b/f's have been addicts as well. I'm nearly 40 & I am reali...	kitty	3	572	Jul 27, 2005 by kathy570
	Back to the program after 15 years (Preview) I am absolutely devastated. My mother & step father have been married 25 years. I thought they had the perfect relationship although he does drink. Last week my mother told me he's been cheating for 20 years. So all of this time when I felt like I wasn't successful eno...	kitty	4	972	Jul 27, 2005 by toto12
	Debilyn? (Preview) I was away and haven't had time to catch up on the shares, but haven't seen your name on the board since the duct tape. Are you ok hon? Guess the duct tape didn't get there on time, huh? I've been praying that he didn't hurt you, we all love you very much!! Please let us know how you made out, k? Love, TLC	TLC2	3	852	Jul 27, 2005 by Jeannie
	Doing the Same Thing Over and Over (Preview) I am having trouble with myself. I have been divorced from my A for 2 1/2 years now but we have continued to live together on and off for that time. He goes in and out of the program and does well for awhile then WHAM same ole thing. For the past I say 6 months I would say his mood swings have...	Carol	3	1003	Jul 27, 2005 by Carol
	I am so confused and frustrated! (Preview) I am really confused right now, my a doesn't really help out very much around the house or with the kids, granted they are 9 and 6 but they still need love and attention and I can't always be the one to know their schedules and keep up with them. Anyway thats not the real confusing part, the worst pa...	holly123	4	892	Jul 26, 2005 by lin0606
	New to this (Preview) Hi, I was widowed at a very young age 5 years ago and am now recently remarried. I'm not sure if my current husband is abusing alcohol or is alcoholic. Whatever he is doing, it is hurting our marriage. He has "given up" drinking for "me". But he holds that over my head and thre...	ditto	5	798	Jul 26, 2005 by ditto
	YAHOOOOOO!!!! (Preview) Thank You HP!!! For being so good to Debilyn!!!! Sorry about the last post, couldn't find you. I don't always get on here as long as I'd like. Now I will go to sleep with a smile on my face thinking of Debilyn and her love, Love TLC	TLC2	0	654	Jul 26, 2005 by TLC2
	Basically fighting for the good life (Preview) Hey It's been a couple of days since I've been here. I don't know why but, For the past couple of days I've been really depressed and just have no feeling for my husband. He has been clean for about five days or something and in general he thinks our relationship should be all better now.&n...	browneyes	2	873	Jul 26, 2005 by lin0606
	discouraged (Preview) I am the wife of an A. He has stopped drinking and was going to AA and counseling. Then he stopped making the meetings and now he has stopped counseling. The counselor (according to husband) said he didn't need to come any more. My trouble is that his solution is to not get together with our friends anymor...	gamayrouge	5	949	Jul 26, 2005 by Christy
	THE BIG BOOK (Preview) My ex-A said that all my answers lie within the Big Book. I told him it is a different programme. I have read the Big Book several times, do I have to study it ? It really relates to AA's , i know we have the ism's but we are not alcoholics, i sort of felt that our programme was a bit like a reverse of...	melanieL	7	2323	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	Ready to Scream!!!!!!!!! HELP (Preview) Mod. July 25 Hello All, I am having such a hard time keeping my mouth shut this week, I like Debilyn's idea of ducktape but notre would hold. My husband has been on a major bender this week as he may lose his job, house, car, etc. He comes home everynight loaded, falling all over the pla...	kathy570	5	791	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	What do you think? (Preview) My A finally called at 2pm Saturday afternoon. He started with "I was wrong and I know you do not accept my apology because it is connected to alcohol and drugs, but I am sorry." I listened but didn't say anything, I thought as he talked that a year ago I would either be screaming or crying, bu...	marmare	6	972	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	Back to Square One (Preview) Last night was complete disaster.....there for a moment was a glimmer of hope, my A now says that the counseling comment was a lie. He won't go and wants a divorce. He refuses to open "pandoras" box. I must have cried for 2 hours. I am so hurt. He said awful awful things t...	marmare	2	869	Jul 26, 2005 by isabela40
	UNDERSTANDING this Disease-sites (Preview) check out these websties Merry Go Round Denial www.bendfeldt.org/alcholism.htm note spelling. For the progression of the disease of alcoholism do a search at www.altavista.com and type in: Jellinek Chart. Lots of re...	wallsal55	1	573	Jul 26, 2005 by kathy570
	update on duct tape night..... (Preview) LOL you guys were so wonderful with your comments!!! I learned from you and I did not feel so alone. Also learned I am not the only one who gets that drive to go look at him. Well I got there in the am one or so. At first neither of us said a word. He said i cut him out of my life. I told him he chose that. ...	debilyn	4	925	Jul 26, 2005 by sg
	Detaching/Detachment (Preview) Practicing detachment for three or four weeks helped me at least grasp the concept of detaching. It is helpful to learn about it at Alanon meetings and pick up the pamplet on detachment there, as well as the newcomer packet. For further supplemental reading: ...	wallsal55	1	634	Jul 26, 2005 by sg
	Just asking for prayers (Preview) Ive chatted with many of you over the past month or so. Thank you for offering this forum and chat to vent feelings and fears and yes joy when it comes. My request today and i will hope if i may would be to request prayers for my friend Lori. Lori is a wondeful person she a joy to be with. Even the hard times...	bob_ia	5	829	Jul 26, 2005 by Mandi
	hello (Preview) Just thought i wold say hi new to this part of the web site been on the chat I am feeling really depressed tonight and just need to vent. Chat room is full so any way. No I do not know why i am depressed just am Bi- Polar I belive is hitting me hard just not doing well with it . Al...	Kolar123	5	795	Jul 25, 2005 by Kolar123
	Repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating (Preview) How do you deal with having to repeat everything to your A about 10 times?? It just drives me nuts sometimes. I used to just get furious about it and finally say I'm not going to repeat myself anymore but that doesn't do any good. While he's drunk he will ask me the same question over an...	Siverhusk	6	1142	Jul 25, 2005 by abbyal
	new & confused (sorry, long) (Preview) I just learned last Friday, a day before my 57th birthday, that my 21 year old daughter was an alcoholic and a self-medicating drug user. At first, I thought "well, this'll be the crummiest birthday I ever had in my life." But now I realize my daughter gave me the greatest gift I ever could have -- she came...	socaltom	5	1154	Jul 25, 2005 by socaltom
	Joke for the Day (Preview) If you live in town or are in town, do not leave your cars unlocked or your windows down! When you come back, there will be zuccinni on your seat!	wallsal55	0	535	Jul 25, 2005 by wallsal55
	The end is closer (Preview) Happy Monday everyone...it was a heck of a weekend around here. Fri, I had worked from 7:30 am, and got home at 10 pm, after my A had ended his workday at 1:30 pm and played 18 holes of golf. Sat, I was on my way to help him at work, and said I needed to stop for two errands. He said to skip one errand ti...	Belongtome	5	946	Jul 25, 2005 by debilyn
	keeping the focus on me (Preview) I have been in al-anon for a while now. Still trying to work the fourth step. My spouse is the adult child of an alcoholic. His drug of choice is pot. Most of the time I can use the program to deal with the highs and lows that come with our relationship. I am finding it almost imposs...	judy	5	931	Jul 25, 2005 by judy
	Pass the duct tape please!!! (Preview) Someone tape me to my chair!!!! I am doing my best to talk myself out of going to see the A. I have not seen him for many weeks. I don't even know what makes me want to see him. Well yes I do. I am so lonely for him. It is so hard to love someone since you were ' a kid, and share life with him all your life, t...	debilyn	9	1019	Jul 25, 2005 by melanieL
	wife of an alcoholic (Preview) this is my first time to be envolved with a chat family group. i need as much help as possible.	diane	3	1443	Jul 25, 2005 by kathy570
	??? - AA related material (Preview) Sun. July 24 I am a recovering A with a very active A hubby. In reading my own AA material, I find tons of readings that would give comfort to Al Anon members. ( My opinion- They help me understand my A better & give me comfort & hope) Am I allowed to post AA readings on this board??? You...	kathy570	3	880	Jul 25, 2005 by kathy570
	End of my rope (Preview) I'v closed my door to this (A) person and this (A) still returns with a vengence, Can anyone help me with how to calm the inner self?? I let all that is stressing me in Gods hands and I don't let this stuff get to me.But when I sleep at nite it hits me it wakes me I dream of the stress going on. I mu...	WStar	5	944	Jul 24, 2005 by whitie
	understanding the monster (Preview) Well I don't mean the person i mean the disease. I am new to this whole thing of not being alone and talking about my feelings. Not very good yet. I don't understand how someone get so low that they need help and still don't see it. My mom got so bad and lived in such awful conditions and y...	laura	4	886	Jul 24, 2005 by lin0606
	Money, money (Preview) A friend at the bank says money is a subject that can really separate a couple, and maybe she's right. My A worked 1 day at his paying job last week, and 2 for our business. He also hired somebody to work 2 days for us (money is soooo tight right now). On Thurs he said he didn't feel like workin...	Belongtome	7	1006	Jul 24, 2005 by kathy570
	Recommended books to read (Preview) Hi, I'm pretty new here (2nd post) and I'm wondering what books you guys recommended for me to read? I'm new to this al-anon stuff and I'm looking for the best way to deal with my A, how to cope, how to get rid of my anger, detachment, etc... I saw a couple listed on the front page,...	Siverhusk	10	6129	Jul 24, 2005 by kathy570
	The lawyer (Preview) I saw the lawyer today that my sister who just graduated law school recommended. I spent about 15 minutes with him @$425 an hour and then he turned me over to an associate @$325 an hour. I am filing for divorce under mental cruelty with a subcomponent of habitul drunkeness. The lawyer...	megan	17	694	Jul 24, 2005 by megan
	opinions please (Preview) I am writing a letter to my wife telling her that we need better communication. How we need to tell each other what we are feeling, what each of our wants and or needs are. I am telling her how I feel and the fact that I don't know what to talk to her about any more, or that I am not sure about what we...	Cam	6	801	Jul 24, 2005 by kathy570
	Long Day (Preview) I started last Monday or Tuesday with the thought "Let Go and Let God"...this has been hard for me to trust God completely. My A goes out every Friday with the guys. His best friend's dad is very very sick and had to have surgery to remove blood clots from his legs, they said because th...	marmare	3	749	Jul 24, 2005 by cdb
	I couldn't believe it (Preview) Hello Hope you're all well Just amazing that my husband asked me if he "could get a little" before he left for a road trip. i told him a couple of days ago that yes, I was the one that called the Parole Officer on him because I was liable for any damage he caused since we were married and I did...	browneyes	7	697	Jul 23, 2005 by lin0606
	26 Beautiful One-liners (Preview) 1. Give God what's right -- not what's left. 2. Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope. 3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing. 4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone. 5. In the sentence of life, the devil may be a comma--but never let him be th...	Peggy7	3	1156	Jul 23, 2005 by WStar
	HP and inner child? (Preview) Hi all! Well, I first heard of the concept of an inner child in me in a therapy session in Germany. The German therapist told me I was to imagine the adult in me and converse with my inner child. I even had to use diff. chairs and change places according to role. I found this very f...	toto12	5	870	Jul 23, 2005 by cdb
	back from holidays (Preview) Well I am back and wanted to report that our trip was very serene!!! Just what I needed!!! I felt more than wonderful and refreshed when I got back but that sure didn't last long!!!! Right now I think that I am worse off now than when I left. No meetings for 2 weeks and there is one tonight that I could go t...	jj	2	822	Jul 23, 2005 by cdb
	My heart is breaking :( :( (Preview) MY daughter called me after 2pm drunk :( She didn't know what she was saying,,,out of her mind as usual wanting someone's number she has no business calling :( I called the number back where she called from. Just got an answering voice,,,,some stupid dude guys voice I don't know. Not her b...	cdb	21	1133	Jul 23, 2005 by cdb
	tough decision (Preview) Hello all. I am new to this board but not new to the Program. I have been in Alanon for about 8 yrs now and what a lifesaver! I met my husband at an Alanon/AA banquet in 1998. He was a few yrs sober and was very active in AA. Talk about a wonderful beginning! I had originally joined Alanon due to my ex who was...	sg	7	1981	Jul 22, 2005 by sg
	Sad-- Need Resources/Support (Preview) I have never been to a meeting before-- although a family member has been trying to get me to go for several years (as most of my family are A's) and knows it would help me to better understand everyone... including my spouse, who I believe is also an A. I did read some other posts and I can really relate. ...	Apple Pie	8	996	Jul 22, 2005 by Maria123
	update on clouds Grammy (Preview) Hey all ((((((((((((((((((roomies))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you all for your prayers and such kind words I love you all so much My gram looked really bas Tues night, but wens night seemed much better, maybe the meds are woeking for her, I quest. if it is possible that she had another stroke, mayb...	cloud	7	727	Jul 22, 2005 by cloud
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.