Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Seeking freedom · Seeking freedom

I am a strong Alanon believer and I know you are not supposed to advise people. However Iâm in this really difficult situation. My 31 year old daughter is an alcoholic the whole past year has been a roller coaster ride. Sheâs been to detox 3 times, output therapy 1 time and then finally a 60 day rehab. She h...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing wit...

Aline · Aline

Hi, guys, I would appreciate some support today or at least no bashing, ha ha. I know we don't do bashing in Alanon, but right now I feel like maybe you folks will make an exception just for me ... Might be my large ego... I called my ex-abf not long ago over the phone because a thought has been nagging me for a...

kayS · kayS

Good afternoon, I'm really struggling with understanding how none of this is personal to me. On one hand I completely get it - my husband recognizes everything that is on the line. I believe that he loves us and our life and doesn't want to lose it. So the only rationale explanation for his continue...

bzz123 · bzz123

My qualifier has been sober since September with two little lapses in between. He's good, happy, moving on, sober, optimistic, all of that. Like he's GREAT. I on the other hand and not good. I feel insane. I feel so mad at him all the time. He barely wants to speak to me. He's like - I try to tell you about the...

MizzB · MizzB

So, ABF is in relapse. He's delusional, thinking it's just a lapse. He believes the group CBT is working. He promised to get individual CBT. I don't believe him. I've heard it too many times. So, the dilemma... If I leave him... I have to deal with the guilt of making him homeless I have to look after the...

el-cee · el-cee

When I think back to Christmas before Alanon there were some good memories, im trying hard to remember it wasn't all bad but the drinking seemed to taint everything for me, every memory even when the kids were small and it was all magical. my mind was never fully on the kids or Christmas. Its as if alcohol...

andromeda · andromeda

A friend of mine passed away yesterday AM due to multi organ failure and a stomach infection as a result of his alcoholism. I was close to his wife, actually, as she was a rock at many of our AL Anon meetings and she and I had traveled to a few Christian women's retreats together that her church organized....

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for December 12 speaks about our tendency to blame others for any difficulty that we encounter. The reading points out that we must realize that every time we feel that someone has affected us, that at least part of our unhappiness is due to the way we reacted . It suggests that we are n...

Elabella · Elabella

today I'm feeling very frustrated, angry and sad. I'm so confused with the behaviour of my AH. The past few days have been awful. Our fighting escalated- I totally engaged in the taunting, bullying behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore. His stress at work has increased, and as such he's using me as an o...

MizzB · MizzB

...unless you live with an alcoholic. BF is still in recovery (he's out tonight so that may very well change) but there are now frequent events where there is drinking and drunks using peer pressure to try to get him to drink. I don't understand what his barrier is to just saying "I don't drink" but appa...

mamalioness · mamalioness

WEll I told you all I had met a guy in the grocery store and we started with email...my suggestion and he was great with that....test the waters over cyberspace, however we did exchange phone numbers and I realized that I goofed..I gave him my business phone instead of my pers. phone, so I CALLED...left...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

This is not an easy task for me to do. My daughter and I have been butting heads for various reasons and I get it .. she wants to do her "adult" thing. She has felt she's got it all under control only to find out that no .. she doesn't and has been left with some serious consequences. She came home this week...

joker · joker

I have been doing lots of self care, since 9 days today that the alcoholic assaulted me and forced out the house. I must say life has been bliss, just love the quite and sanity. No more drunkenness and meanness and angry outburst at me, no more listening to madness, talking to self and having endless disc...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I left my marriage six months ago because my husband's alcoholism had caused him to decline both physically and mentally. My departure shocked him into entering detox (a life threatening experience for him) and rehab. When he came out, he was much better and I allowed myself to be convinced t...

Lyne · Lyne

Serenity-The writer says he/she once thought money could solve her problems. But money wouldn't solve any issues related to alcoholism. The writer realized what she really wants is to feel better, and the way to feeling better is to find the serenity to accept the things she cannot change. She al...

DavidG · DavidG

Will the real me please stand up! I never really held back. I would sit on the edge of my seat at a meeting waiting for my turn to share. Not sure about the quality of my share- but that was not the reason why I was there! My personal boundaries were formed in an alcoholic home. The territory in Alanon was so...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

I was gonna come here yesterday and start a thread full of complaints.I was very,very upset because something my husband said to me wasn't followed up with an equal action;what he said and did were 2 completely opposite things. I was so hurt and disappointed that I was thinking I HAVE to leave him,he wi...

jtpickle · jtpickle

Hi All - I'm living with my very active AH and 4 children (15, 13,11,8). As you all know, being in the middle of the active - yet hidden so children don't see him drinking - alcoholism is very difficult. I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. However, I'm also trying to detach so I can be peaceful...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I went to a local 7/11 a bit ago to get some sushi and a diet Pepsi for lunch and when I went thru the front doors there was a woman looking at me and smiling who at first I didn't quite recognize...and then I remembered she was a former client of mine who lived in the deepest insanity ever with her then husba...

jtpickle · jtpickle

How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself...... Experience anyone?

joker · joker

Its been a week today, that the alcoholic beat me, held me in the room and faced criminal charges for what he did. I have been having a rough week, shaking like a leaf, from anxiety. Things are so wonderful now, calm, quite, no crazy insane drunk screaming, yelling, hollering, chasing me around the hous...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading centers around the idea of keep coming back. The writer mentioned that when first coming to alanon he/she was whining, complaining and stuck on why me. After some time and program work the answer came back- why not me? As I was reading this I remembered that when I...

lookingup · lookingup

helllo everyone,hope all is well, ctc=courage to change asks us to reflect back unto tradition eleven in which alanons public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion what this tradition saying to me is that my 1st responsibility in alanon is to learn to kee...

Mimi3 · Mimi3

Monday, December 28, 2009Open Letter from the Alcoholic The chairperson at a meeting I attended recently, who is also a member of AA, shared on this "Open Letter to the Alcoholic," which I've always thought was very powerful. I hadn't read it for a while, so it was a good reminder to me. The...

Lil99 · Lil99

Hi everyone, I feel really sad that I have no children. I always thought that one day my partner and I would move to a bigger house and start a family. The house move hasn't happened, have tried to move a couple of times, but each time it fell through he'd spent the deposit money we were trying to save on...

Takotsubo · Takotsubo

I broke up with my ABF 3 weeks ago. Am still feeling sad and intensely guilty about not being able to "save" him. This was my first lightbulb moment - apparently I will never be able to save him! Step one - I am powerless over alcohol. All those years of hiding it, arguing about it, making him promise not to d...

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

~*Service Worker*~Status: OnlinePosts: 13342Date: 1m ago Prayers toward Hawaii...Permalink Reply Quote More Edit PostDelete Post When you can as you can. We have recovery family friends; a mother and son from a family history with alcoholism. I knew of them from the near neighborhood...

Overcome · Overcome

I just got a Facebook notification that today was our founder John F.'s birthday. I'm not sure how old he would have been today, but I know he was close to my age (55) when he passed last Spring. When I think of OP_Present (John's nickname on MIP) and the awe that I had of him when I first came on MIP back in 200...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about Alateen and Al-Anon. It suggests that Alateen members are often doubtful of adults in recovery. There can be a judgement that Al-Anon adults are sure to have the same sick attitudes as their parents. What the writer learns with time and recovery is t...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

At times I feel like AH's recovery is just as difficult as when he was drinking. It's been just over a month since he has come back into the house. For the most part it has been good....as in there has been only 1 time that I have questioned his actions as to possibly have had a few drinks. We went away for two...

joker · joker

I went to a AA meeting yesterday and just listened. There was 40 people in the meeting. I was like wow, that is a lot of sick people out there and most were men. I was angry when I was in the meeting and seeing so much men there. I was having anxiety and flashbacks from what the alcoholic did to me recently. Be...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses self-care and self-love. The reading starts by suggesting the writer thought that being good to self meant eating whatever, buying whatever, sleeping less than average and avoiding unexciting activities. She/he realized that the consequences were very uncomfort...

malia · malia

My group closes with the "Lord's Prayer". I am a Buddhist. When I chaired a meeting, I declosed that I was not familiar with the Lord's Prayer and was told by my group that they would teach it to me. I replied that it wasn't my prayer and that God of my understanding understands my ow...

Klopp96 · Klopp96

Need help understanding this

StrugglingMamaBear · StrugglingMamaBear

Well for starters I guess Iâve been in denial about my husbands alcoholism for years. Things have escalated these past couple months to where I canât deny it any longer. Iâve been to two Alanon meetings and definitely plan to keep going. One of the problems Iâm having is it seems my husband is in complet...

CarlyH · CarlyH

The past two weeks have been very difficult. Ive ended my relationship and any kind of friendship with ex AH. I Know I shouldnt have expected it but I thought I least I would get some kind of remorse or a sorry. Instead they are angry with me. I am practicing detachment and I am trying not to get embroil...

joker · joker

Since the police took the alcoholic away, I have been dealing with the aftermath. I have shaking and shaking like a leaf. My anxiety and lack of sleep has been over the top. I did make it to a face to face meeting Monday night. I met a woman there that has experienced the same hell I have just endured. It was...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Good morning, MIP! Today's share is from Today's Hope post for December 5, as I've left Courage to Change at home accidentally today! The Quote is "Everything is a miracle, not just the beautiful and lovely things" The reflection is about how the author finds joy in the simple things in life, even w...

JS · JS

Hi - I'm new to the board but not to Al-anon. Little bit of history...my husband is a recovering A. He is 6 months sober. We have been married 11 years and during the last two years he had an affair with a woman he worked with. His drinking career started about 16 years ago but escalated during the affair d...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi MIP, I am hoping for some ESH. I have been engaged in service at my local Alano Club (sponsorship, leading meetings, clean-up, etc.) and really enjoying the time I spend there. I am going to apply for a new job. It is a long shot, but the experience of applying for jobs is a good one, and I think this wou...

SoggySlippers · SoggySlippers

Hi everyone.I haven't been here in awhile,thinking I can manage things on my own,thinking I don't need other people,thinking I can just be strong and muddle through. I think I honestly and truly am losing my mind.I have been so completely overwhelmed and consumed with my sons that are addicts and doi...

Doodlesworth · Doodlesworth

It's been a beautiful sunny day, but my stomach has been in knots. I'm married to a lovely man, who is deeply traumatised and uses alcohol to cope. He is not abusive when drunk, but his trauma spills over, PTSD I think, and at times things get pretty weird. He gets paranoid, and at his worst, hallucinates...

AnnieFenk321 · AnnieFenk321

My husband is shoplifting. He has a history of addiction, recently drinking and for the last year shoplifting has been his biggest issue. He revealed this to me a month ago. When I last checked in with him, he confessed that he has been doing it again and that he now has been doing it even when our toddler y...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family, I hope this weekend brings good things to you. I've been working through some hard stuff, peeling off some layers of my onion, so to speak, and would appreciate greatly any ESH you might have. One thing that has become evident to me is that my A partner had been, for all intents and purpose...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT Reading for 12-5-2017 points out the fact attending Al-Anon meetings should become a habit and not something we do just to try to solve one small problem. The reading indicates that many times we learn to live and find serenity when we first enter the program and once the initial problem is...

Cjm42 · Cjm42

My AH relapsed again tonight. Every 3 months like clockwork. Thats kind of doable, but kind of awful. Im not sure I can do this anymore. We have 3 kids. He makes the money. Hes a good man/ dad/ etc. in between the benders. Whats worse for everyone: dealing with a divorce or waiting for/ dealing with the rel...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the very important. Slogan; "Let it begin with me". The reading goes on to state that sometimes we are so focused on others, evaluating, judging,critiquing them for their negative traits that we forget to focus on ourselves. . The reading suggests that we ca...

joker · joker

I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to. She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggress...

joker · joker

omg...all hell has broken loose with alcoholic. After my last post he went balastic on me. I mean balastic. I have called 911 and he has been charged for assault on me and forced confinement. I can not discuss the details. It was so scary, OMG. I was shaking like leaf...I had to run out the door. It was bad....

Lyne · Lyne

Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. H...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 12 has been posted to the step board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join and share your thoughts. Here is the link: http://stepwork.a...

muddy · muddy

I regret to inform all of you that I will no longer be able to chair the Sunday Night meeting effective immediately. Circumstances have arisen that will prevent me from attending regularly on Sunday nights. My sincere apologies for the short notice. Phillip Waters

Starbuxchic · Starbuxchic

My SO and I have been best friends for 5-6 years. We ended up getting married and having a daughter this past year . Some background. My husband was married prior and lost his wife in a car accident 7 years ago He was a firefighter at the time and was one of the first on the scene. He also lost his grandparent...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about turning over our will to our Higher Power, and a couple of ways we may implement doing this. One way to do this is called the God Box; a way of communicating with our HP and then literally letting go of whatever the issue is by placing a note we have written to...

carrotseed · carrotseed

It's been a long time coming. Years of excuses, acting irresponsible, loss of integrity & trust, intimacy, efforts to make me feel irrational, talk down to me, lying to me, hiding his drinking. I have a small daughter and currently lack childcare to attend a meeting. He's going to be an inpati...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have lived with the predictable pattern of my AD's disease long enough that I am getting better at setting protective boundaries for myself. (She does not live with me, she lives a couple of hours away). If I see that a text she has sent is becoming verbally abusive/incoherent, I delete it without r...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Happy December all. Today's reading discusses how the program works - in a very simple way. Keep coming back and get into the middle of the program. The quote for today --- from Aristotle is perfect. "What we learn to do we learn by doing." The thought for the day --- Listening, hearing, thinking and...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The last week has been awful to say the least .. lol. I wound up at the urgent care which is a glorified triage they changed insurance at work and I was not happy about that. The best guess as I am waiting for the test at this point was a sever kidney infection. They thought I might be having a kidney stone....

Elabella · Elabella

So last night my AH came home from being out with friends at a sporting event pretty intoxicated. Not shocking. He was apologizing as soon as he walked in for being drunk. My usual reaction would have been to get angry. I didn't! I used the tools I've been learning and it worked- FOR ME. I was calm and actua...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What about the children (Preview) I am a strong Alanon believer and I know you are not supposed to advise people. However Iâm in this really difficult situation. My 31 year old daughter is an alcoholic the whole past year has been a roller coaster ride. Sheâs been to detox 3 times, output therapy 1 time and then finally a 60 day rehab. She h...	Seeking freedom	4	594	Dec 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why am I surprised .. LOL (Preview) My X must have had surgery and of course when he was laying out his story he didn't mention when the surgery would occur. So honestly it could have been before he sent the email whining or shortly after. Remember he couldn't get surgery if his blood was all wonky. This really goes to show me nothing wit...	SerenityRUS	3	907	Dec 13, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	my day (Preview) Hi, guys, I would appreciate some support today or at least no bashing, ha ha. I know we don't do bashing in Alanon, but right now I feel like maybe you folks will make an exception just for me ... Might be my large ego... I called my ex-abf not long ago over the phone because a thought has been nagging me for a...	Aline	10	611	Dec 13, 2017 by Aline
	I just don't get it (Preview) Good afternoon, I'm really struggling with understanding how none of this is personal to me. On one hand I completely get it - my husband recognizes everything that is on the line. I believe that he loves us and our life and doesn't want to lose it. So the only rationale explanation for his continue...	kayS	10	668	Dec 12, 2017 by Maresie
	he's moving on - I am the one having trouble (Preview) My qualifier has been sober since September with two little lapses in between. He's good, happy, moving on, sober, optimistic, all of that. Like he's GREAT. I on the other hand and not good. I feel insane. I feel so mad at him all the time. He barely wants to speak to me. He's like - I try to tell you about the...	bzz123	5	550	Dec 12, 2017 by Maresie
	The Relapse: The decision (Preview) So, ABF is in relapse. He's delusional, thinking it's just a lapse. He believes the group CBT is working. He promised to get individual CBT. I don't believe him. I've heard it too many times. So, the dilemma... If I leave him... I have to deal with the guilt of making him homeless I have to look after the...	MizzB	9	652	Dec 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	Fear at Christmas (Preview) When I think back to Christmas before Alanon there were some good memories, im trying hard to remember it wasn't all bad but the drinking seemed to taint everything for me, every memory even when the kids were small and it was all magical. my mind was never fully on the kids or Christmas. Its as if alcohol...	el-cee	2	484	Dec 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	The disease takes a friend of mine (I hate it!) (Preview) A friend of mine passed away yesterday AM due to multi organ failure and a stomach infection as a result of his alcoholism. I was close to his wife, actually, as she was a rock at many of our AL Anon meetings and she and I had traveled to a few Christian women's retreats together that her church organized....	andromeda	10	556	Dec 12, 2017 by el-cee
	ODAT Reading 12-12-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for December 12 speaks about our tendency to blame others for any difficulty that we encounter. The reading points out that we must realize that every time we feel that someone has affected us, that at least part of our unhappiness is due to the way we reacted . It suggests that we are n...	hotrod	4	580	Dec 12, 2017 by hotrod
	Jekyl & Hyde.. (Preview) today I'm feeling very frustrated, angry and sad. I'm so confused with the behaviour of my AH. The past few days have been awful. Our fighting escalated- I totally engaged in the taunting, bullying behaviour. I couldn't take it anymore. His stress at work has increased, and as such he's using me as an o...	Elabella	26	765	Dec 12, 2017 by KT2015
	It's the most wonderful time of the year... (Preview) ...unless you live with an alcoholic. BF is still in recovery (he's out tonight so that may very well change) but there are now frequent events where there is drinking and drunks using peer pressure to try to get him to drink. I don't understand what his barrier is to just saying "I don't drink" but appa...	MizzB	8	743	Dec 12, 2017 by Maresie
	Not really Al-anon, but MAYBE a tad???? Ya think???? (Preview) WEll I told you all I had met a guy in the grocery store and we started with email...my suggestion and he was great with that....test the waters over cyberspace, however we did exchange phone numbers and I realized that I goofed..I gave him my business phone instead of my pers. phone, so I CALLED...left...	mamalioness	5	564	Dec 12, 2017 by mamalioness
	Staying on my side of the street (Preview) This is not an easy task for me to do. My daughter and I have been butting heads for various reasons and I get it .. she wants to do her "adult" thing. She has felt she's got it all under control only to find out that no .. she doesn't and has been left with some serious consequences. She came home this week...	SerenityRUS	3	518	Dec 11, 2017 by andromeda
	Relief (Preview) I have been doing lots of self care, since 9 days today that the alcoholic assaulted me and forced out the house. I must say life has been bliss, just love the quite and sanity. No more drunkenness and meanness and angry outburst at me, no more listening to madness, talking to self and having endless disc...	joker	2	452	Dec 11, 2017 by YARNCRAZY
	after months of a successful detox and rehab - relapse! (Preview) Hi All, I left my marriage six months ago because my husband's alcoholism had caused him to decline both physically and mentally. My departure shocked him into entering detox (a life threatening experience for him) and rehab. When he came out, he was much better and I allowed myself to be convinced t...	gratefulforafuture	8	568	Dec 11, 2017 by MizzB
	C2C, 12/11 (Preview) Serenity-The writer says he/she once thought money could solve her problems. But money wouldn't solve any issues related to alcoholism. The writer realized what she really wants is to feel better, and the way to feeling better is to find the serenity to accept the things she cannot change. She al...	Lyne	3	495	Dec 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Will the real me please stand up! (Preview) Will the real me please stand up! I never really held back. I would sit on the edge of my seat at a meeting waiting for my turn to share. Not sure about the quality of my share- but that was not the reason why I was there! My personal boundaries were formed in an alcoholic home. The territory in Alanon was so...	DavidG	8	819	Dec 10, 2017 by mamalioness
	I Was Gonna.... (Preview) I was gonna come here yesterday and start a thread full of complaints.I was very,very upset because something my husband said to me wasn't followed up with an equal action;what he said and did were 2 completely opposite things. I was so hurt and disappointed that I was thinking I HAVE to leave him,he wi...	SoggySlippers	6	656	Dec 10, 2017 by Carla61
	Detachment examples? (Preview) Hi All - I'm living with my very active AH and 4 children (15, 13,11,8). As you all know, being in the middle of the active - yet hidden so children don't see him drinking - alcoholism is very difficult. I'm just trying to survive one day at a time. However, I'm also trying to detach so I can be peaceful...	jtpickle	5	1015	Dec 10, 2017 by Curtainclimbers
	7/11 Happy Dance (Preview) I went to a local 7/11 a bit ago to get some sushi and a diet Pepsi for lunch and when I went thru the front doors there was a woman looking at me and smiling who at first I didn't quite recognize...and then I remembered she was a former client of mine who lived in the deepest insanity ever with her then husba...	Jerry F	5	636	Dec 10, 2017 by el-cee
	Live and Let Live vs. Financial Decisions (Preview) How to I 'Live and Let Live' when the purchasing decisions of the AH are going to have negative ramifications for our family and I don't work outside of the house. It very hard not to become psychotic myself...... Experience anyone?	jtpickle	3	583	Dec 10, 2017 by el-cee
	Overhall of thinking (Preview) Its been a week today, that the alcoholic beat me, held me in the room and faced criminal charges for what he did. I have been having a rough week, shaking like a leaf, from anxiety. Things are so wonderful now, calm, quite, no crazy insane drunk screaming, yelling, hollering, chasing me around the hous...	joker	3	784	Dec 10, 2017 by el-cee
	Hope for Today Dec 11 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading centers around the idea of keep coming back. The writer mentioned that when first coming to alanon he/she was whining, complaining and stuck on why me. After some time and program work the answer came back- why not me? As I was reading this I remembered that when I...	yanksfan51	2	468	Dec 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	12/09/17 ctc (Preview) helllo everyone,hope all is well, ctc=courage to change asks us to reflect back unto tradition eleven in which alanons public relations policy is described as being based on attraction rather than promotion what this tradition saying to me is that my 1st responsibility in alanon is to learn to kee...	lookingup	3	464	Dec 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	OPEN LETTER FROM THE ALCOHOLIC (Preview) Monday, December 28, 2009Open Letter from the Alcoholic The chairperson at a meeting I attended recently, who is also a member of AA, shared on this "Open Letter to the Alcoholic," which I've always thought was very powerful. I hadn't read it for a while, so it was a good reminder to me. The...	Mimi3	13	44739	Dec 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	The children thing (Preview) Hi everyone, I feel really sad that I have no children. I always thought that one day my partner and I would move to a bigger house and start a family. The house move hasn't happened, have tried to move a couple of times, but each time it fell through he'd spent the deposit money we were trying to save on...	Lil99	7	736	Dec 9, 2017 by lisa sa
	Three weeks in - some lightbulb moments (Preview) I broke up with my ABF 3 weeks ago. Am still feeling sad and intensely guilty about not being able to "save" him. This was my first lightbulb moment - apparently I will never be able to save him! Step one - I am powerless over alcohol. All those years of hiding it, arguing about it, making him promise not to d...	Takotsubo	1	505	Dec 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Prayers toward Hawaii... (Preview) ~Service Worker~Status: OnlinePosts: 13342Date: 1m ago Prayers toward Hawaii...Permalink Reply Quote More Edit PostDelete Post When you can as you can. We have recovery family friends; a mother and son from a family history with alcoholism. I knew of them from the near neighborhood...	Jerry F	7	685	Dec 8, 2017 by DavidG
	Happy Birthday John F. (Preview) I just got a Facebook notification that today was our founder John F.'s birthday. I'm not sure how old he would have been today, but I know he was close to my age (55) when he passed last Spring. When I think of OP_Present (John's nickname on MIP) and the awe that I had of him when I first came on MIP back in 200...	Overcome	10	3797	Dec 8, 2017 by DavidG
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/8/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about Alateen and Al-Anon. It suggests that Alateen members are often doubtful of adults in recovery. There can be a judgement that Al-Anon adults are sure to have the same sick attitudes as their parents. What the writer learns with time and recovery is t...	Iamhere	2	566	Dec 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Recovery can suck as much as drinking!! (Preview) At times I feel like AH's recovery is just as difficult as when he was drinking. It's been just over a month since he has come back into the house. For the most part it has been good....as in there has been only 1 time that I have questioned his actions as to possibly have had a few drinks. We went away for two...	Curlyblu	10	723	Dec 7, 2017 by MizzB
	Alcoholic everywhere (Preview) I went to a AA meeting yesterday and just listened. There was 40 people in the meeting. I was like wow, that is a lot of sick people out there and most were men. I was angry when I was in the meeting and seeing so much men there. I was having anxiety and flashbacks from what the alcoholic did to me recently. Be...	joker	2	644	Dec 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/7/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses self-care and self-love. The reading starts by suggesting the writer thought that being good to self meant eating whatever, buying whatever, sleeping less than average and avoiding unexciting activities. She/he realized that the consequences were very uncomfort...	Iamhere	1	618	Dec 7, 2017 by hotrod
	Lord's Prayer (Preview) My group closes with the "Lord's Prayer". I am a Buddhist. When I chaired a meeting, I declosed that I was not familiar with the Lord's Prayer and was told by my group that they would teach it to me. I replied that it wasn't my prayer and that God of my understanding understands my ow...	malia	34	11111	Dec 7, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Ive been to 1 alanon meeting and left feeling i have a problem and caring too much is an addiction?? Head is melted !! (Preview) Need help understanding this	Klopp96	12	1568	Dec 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Denial and projection - normal? (Preview) Well for starters I guess Iâve been in denial about my husbands alcoholism for years. Things have escalated these past couple months to where I canât deny it any longer. Iâve been to two Alanon meetings and definitely plan to keep going. One of the problems Iâm having is it seems my husband is in complet...	StrugglingMamaBear	4	987	Dec 6, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Cheating and Never taking responsibility for what they do (Preview) The past two weeks have been very difficult. Ive ended my relationship and any kind of friendship with ex AH. I Know I shouldnt have expected it but I thought I least I would get some kind of remorse or a sorry. Instead they are angry with me. I am practicing detachment and I am trying not to get embroil...	CarlyH	16	933	Dec 6, 2017 by CarlyH
	Processing thoughts of what happened (Preview) Since the police took the alcoholic away, I have been dealing with the aftermath. I have shaking and shaking like a leaf. My anxiety and lack of sleep has been over the top. I did make it to a face to face meeting Monday night. I met a woman there that has experienced the same hell I have just endured. It was...	joker	3	647	Dec 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Today's Hope December 6, 2017 (Preview) Good morning, MIP! Today's share is from Today's Hope post for December 5, as I've left Courage to Change at home accidentally today! The Quote is "Everything is a miracle, not just the beautiful and lovely things" The reflection is about how the author finds joy in the simple things in life, even w...	Skorpi	3	640	Dec 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sex and the recovering Alcoholic (Preview) Hi - I'm new to the board but not to Al-anon. Little bit of history...my husband is a recovering A. He is 6 months sober. We have been married 11 years and during the last two years he had an affair with a woman he worked with. His drinking career started about 16 years ago but escalated during the affair d...	JS	22	6855	Dec 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Question about Service and Anonymity (Preview) Hi MIP, I am hoping for some ESH. I have been engaged in service at my local Alano Club (sponsorship, leading meetings, clean-up, etc.) and really enjoying the time I spend there. I am going to apply for a new job. It is a long shot, but the experience of applying for jobs is a good one, and I think this wou...	Skorpi	5	779	Dec 6, 2017 by Skorpi
	I Really Think I'm Losing My Mind (Preview) Hi everyone.I haven't been here in awhile,thinking I can manage things on my own,thinking I don't need other people,thinking I can just be strong and muddle through. I think I honestly and truly am losing my mind.I have been so completely overwhelmed and consumed with my sons that are addicts and doi...	SoggySlippers	17	4627	Dec 5, 2017 by mamalioness
	Trauma and drinking Paranoid drunk mental health healthy boundaries (Preview) It's been a beautiful sunny day, but my stomach has been in knots. I'm married to a lovely man, who is deeply traumatised and uses alcohol to cope. He is not abusive when drunk, but his trauma spills over, PTSD I think, and at times things get pretty weird. He gets paranoid, and at his worst, hallucinates...	Doodlesworth	21	1002	Dec 5, 2017 by Doodlesworth
	AH is shoplifting with our young son - how do I respond? (Preview) My husband is shoplifting. He has a history of addiction, recently drinking and for the last year shoplifting has been his biggest issue. He revealed this to me a month ago. When I last checked in with him, he confessed that he has been doing it again and that he now has been doing it even when our toddler y...	AnnieFenk321	9	884	Dec 5, 2017 by Maresie
	The habit of feeling wrong (Preview) Hi, MIP family, I hope this weekend brings good things to you. I've been working through some hard stuff, peeling off some layers of my onion, so to speak, and would appreciate greatly any ESH you might have. One thing that has become evident to me is that my A partner had been, for all intents and purpose...	Aline	8	800	Dec 5, 2017 by Maresie
	ODAT Reading 12-5-2017 (Preview) The ODAT Reading for 12-5-2017 points out the fact attending Al-Anon meetings should become a habit and not something we do just to try to solve one small problem. The reading indicates that many times we learn to live and find serenity when we first enter the program and once the initial problem is...	hotrod	4	695	Dec 5, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Does anyone ever stay married to their AH? (Preview) My AH relapsed again tonight. Every 3 months like clockwork. Thats kind of doable, but kind of awful. Im not sure I can do this anymore. We have 3 kids. He makes the money. Hes a good man/ dad/ etc. in between the benders. Whats worse for everyone: dealing with a divorce or waiting for/ dealing with the rel...	Cjm42	7	804	Dec 5, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change reading 12-2-2017 (Preview) Today's reading in the C2C speaks about the very important. Slogan; "Let it begin with me". The reading goes on to state that sometimes we are so focused on others, evaluating, judging,critiquing them for their negative traits that we forget to focus on ourselves. . The reading suggests that we ca...	hotrod	6	827	Dec 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Decison time (Preview) I have been dealing with my 23 year old daughter, and I could tell she was going down hill again, as she has mental health issues. I encouraged her to speak her mind at the meeting with her doctor that I took her to. She has schizophrenia. I had noticed she was withdrawing more and more and getting aggress...	joker	5	980	Dec 4, 2017 by Maresie
	all hell has broken loose (Preview) omg...all hell has broken loose with alcoholic. After my last post he went balastic on me. I mean balastic. I have called 911 and he has been charged for assault on me and forced confinement. I can not discuss the details. It was so scary, OMG. I was shaking like leaf...I had to run out the door. It was bad....	joker	7	787	Dec 4, 2017 by mamalioness
	C2C, 12/4 (Preview) Feelings vs Facts: Today's reading talks about there being a difference between feelings and facts. Feelings are not facts, and therefore one should not let feelings dictate his/her actions. The writer says that we are complex human beings and we are more than just one feeling or one problem. H...	Lyne	4	703	Dec 4, 2017 by mamalioness
	Step 12 posted (Preview) Step 12 has been posted to the step board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join and share your thoughts. Here is the link: http://stepwork.a...	hotrod	0	529	Dec 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Sunday Night Meeting (Preview) I regret to inform all of you that I will no longer be able to chair the Sunday Night meeting effective immediately. Circumstances have arisen that will prevent me from attending regularly on Sunday nights. My sincere apologies for the short notice. Phillip Waters	muddy	0	505	Dec 3, 2017 by muddy
	I don't know where to start (Preview) My SO and I have been best friends for 5-6 years. We ended up getting married and having a daughter this past year . Some background. My husband was married prior and lost his wife in a car accident 7 years ago He was a firefighter at the time and was one of the first on the scene. He also lost his grandparent...	Starbuxchic	2	598	Dec 3, 2017 by Aline
	Hope for Today dec 3 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about turning over our will to our Higher Power, and a couple of ways we may implement doing this. One way to do this is called the God Box; a way of communicating with our HP and then literally letting go of whatever the issue is by placing a note we have written to...	yanksfan51	5	687	Dec 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	checked my husband into rehab today (Preview) It's been a long time coming. Years of excuses, acting irresponsible, loss of integrity & trust, intimacy, efforts to make me feel irrational, talk down to me, lying to me, hiding his drinking. I have a small daughter and currently lack childcare to attend a meeting. He's going to be an inpati...	carrotseed	4	560	Dec 3, 2017 by pinkchip
	I keep hoping time will bring change in her.......bur know the only one I can change is ME (Preview) I have lived with the predictable pattern of my AD's disease long enough that I am getting better at setting protective boundaries for myself. (She does not live with me, she lives a couple of hours away). If I see that a text she has sent is becoming verbally abusive/incoherent, I delete it without r...	lgnutah	4	583	Dec 3, 2017 by serenity47
	Courage to Change (C2C) 12/1/17 (Preview) Happy December all. Today's reading discusses how the program works - in a very simple way. Keep coming back and get into the middle of the program. The quote for today --- from Aristotle is perfect. "What we learn to do we learn by doing." The thought for the day --- Listening, hearing, thinking and...	Iamhere	3	499	Dec 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Feeling more myself (Preview) The last week has been awful to say the least .. lol. I wound up at the urgent care which is a glorified triage they changed insurance at work and I was not happy about that. The best guess as I am waiting for the test at this point was a sever kidney infection. They thought I might be having a kidney stone....	SerenityRUS	6	525	Dec 1, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Mini victory (Preview) So last night my AH came home from being out with friends at a sporting event pretty intoxicated. Not shocking. He was apologizing as soon as he walked in for being drunk. My usual reaction would have been to get angry. I didn't! I used the tools I've been learning and it worked- FOR ME. I was calm and actua...	Elabella	8	797	Nov 30, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.