The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Happy Friday all.....today's reading is about Step 3 and the writer's difficulty with it. She/he asks, "How can I turn my will and my life over to the care of a Higher Power?" She tried and tried and yet still always took things back into her own hands. Fear was part of the issue - scary to think she was not in control. She found great difficulty in trusting that her Higher Power would be there if she let go completely.
Then she heard an Al-Anon speaker who said that turning our will over is like dancing with a partner. If both try to lead, there is much confusion and little forward movement. The speaker was a dance instructor so had witnessed many a couple who struggled in this manner. When the partner who is to follow can relax and let the other do the steering, they flowed easily across the floor.
Today's Reminder -- If I feel the bucking of uncertainty, despair, or fear, I can take it as a sign that I have gotten out of step. Then I can ask the God of my understanding to help me be a more willing partner.
Today's Quote -- "There are no guarantees that life will turn out the way we would like, but the program has shown me God's will is the only way; it is up to me to work with Him and turn my life and will over to His care and guidance." from ... In All Our Affairs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was a willful child and that did not change when I became adult age. I have been that way for as long as I can remember. As with most things in recovery, I still practice each day turning my will and life over to the care of God. Also as with most things, it has gotten easier as I grow and heal, and I've been blessed to see how much better God's plan is.
For so long, I really believed I was in control and knew the best way. I was full of self-will and really wanted things my way. I am smart, so my way should be the best way - so I thought. When I can fully embrace the reality that we are each imperfect, trying to live life our own way and that we each have our own path and destiny, I am better able to let Go and let God.
I am blessed to be free of ego and self-will, just for today. I am grateful to have a continued, always-present partner in a power greater than I. I am content with my journey and trust today that his will is way better for me than mine.
Grateful for you all MIP - I'm off to a pre-school holiday concert - so excited to see little people performing ....Make it a great day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning IAH Thanks for this important reminder. Finally "Coming to believe " as in Step 2, I walked into Step 3 extremely hopeful. Then I hit my hidden defect that screamed out "I do not want to do this or that-- I want it my way".
After many failed attempt of forcing my will I finally surrendered As you noted I found that , the quote for "In All Our Affairs is very true. it states:"There are no guarantees that life will turn out the way we would like, but the program has shown me God's will is the only way; it is up to me to work with Him and turn my life and will over to His care and guidance."
My life certainly did not turn our as i would have liked however I was given the courage and wisdom to move through the pain, learn the lessons and thrive. Thank you Alanon for HP and HP for Alanon
Thanks for your contnued service and enjoy the day
Thank you for your service, IAH. I really needed this today, of all days!!!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
This can be a touchy topic, even in an Alanon meeting...
Outside of The Bible Belt we may not have the words- initially to talk about the topic...
my mum forbade the discussion if religion and politics in and around the home. I loved talking about both, and still do.
My grand-dad was one of those people who loved thoughts and discussions. My nana- not. My nana came from an alcoholic home.
Okay- so now we know- any form of discussion in an alcoholic home can lead to arguments and discord.
My mum told me that nana, one day, went over the river to the local bar- to play the piano. She did not come back for weeks or months. The oldest aunty was left to run the household. My nana did come back. This was one of the family secrets, I was privy to.
So in Alanon- where higher power issues come up- I listen first. To find where there is common ground, if any.
For a number of reasons I am stepping up on my meetings. In the beginning getting along to a meeting was about helping everyone else!
Not a bad place to start. Not at all. It is part of the mind-set many of us have in the alcoholic or addictive home.
Accepting help from a hidden mysterious source... hmmm I saw my higher power in other group members for a long time. Having seen it there I slowly began to see it in myself as well. I think there is a balance here.
Being able to communicate with other people was a big big boost for me. It ate into my strangeness and isolation. If you see some of my shares here- it is a celebration of my liberation from fear and self loathing. Anger... grief un-released...
..slowly turning to joy.
There are a lot of weird and wonderful ways people get to their higher power- and that was mine, more or less!
My country here is far more secular than the USA, or so it appears to be. And there is always some resistance to steps 2 and 3; 11 and 12.
So I always try to express my faith in my actions and attitudes, where I can. To demonstrate the love of God.
I think, in recovery that a lot of us have to go into it deeper than most.
Sometimes I suspect we go into it a lot deeper than others in religious organisations. Sometimes I have more in common with people in recovery- with a diverse range of ideas and beliefs, that I do in my church.
There is a spiritual bond, and a link- anywhere I happen to go... ...
including here...
...thanks so much Iam, and y'all...
we have had a run of little people's concerts and break-ups too...
i used to find them a bit tedious...
but now I feel a lot more relaxed... a good sign...
...
.
-- Edited by DavidG on Friday 15th of December 2017 04:29:18 PM
Thank you for your service, IAH, and for all the shares above. What I now realize what's been happening regarding step 3 with me is that I'm truly on my way to letting go of my ideas of what my life and myself should be like, what I would like them to be. For example, I've been ill most of the week (I'm almost OK now, finally) and I've been watching some great romantic movies from the 2000s, like "Bridget Jones's Diary" and "Love, actually". I enjoyed them very much. My point is, I used to be a "rebel" teenager, listening to rock (still love it), wearing torn-up jeans, smoking and drinking, and looking down on most things "mainstream" just because I was "cooler than that" :D Well, this pose in some degree has actually stuck with me till very, very recently. I have held on to this attitude in some ways that is not genuinely me for much too long. One of the things I told myself not to do was to avoid romance in particular, because that is just not "on" (so I thought), you know? :D Theoretically I could go on my whole life not watching "Love, actually" and Bridget Jones with no ill effects, but its the freedom to be a bit more myself that counts. :)
Hope you all have a good weekend!
-- Edited by Aline on Friday 15th of December 2017 05:32:46 PM
Great ESH and shares family - thank you to each of you. The little people concert was fabulous - I truly enjoyed myself. I now feel as if I am coming down with something...hopefully just a cold. I have a goopy eye and have been around sick little ones this week 'in service'. I am really, really annoyed as I just can't see out of it and of course trying to do with just one eye and no contacts is not working as planned.
Tis the season - that's for sure! I was raised with organized religion and stepped far away from that for a huge part of my life. I have not returned to the church of my youth but have a great amount of gratitude for all faiths. I heard early on - much what David discusses - that God can be considered Good Orderly Direction. This really helped me get over the hump and trust that if I did what appeared to be the next right thing in front of me, I could trust whatever came next.
My brain is wired such that I prefer 'proof'....I really had to let go of that kind of thinking and just practice blind faith. I still don't exactly know how this program of recovery works, yet I have my 'proof' in how I was vs. how I am today. Grateful to be a work in progress and no longer worried about perfection.
Make it a great weekend all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
...
...