Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH went to a bunch of meetings this week and was doing great since all the drama last Friday. He bought a new car last night and went to go pick it up and then was going to come home so we could get ice cream with the kids. I could tell when he was putting their car seats in the car that he had drank something. He...

mybrotherskeeper · mybrotherskeeper

So the weekend is coming up and i have to work, my brother will most likely be home with nothing to occupy his time with as there will be no classes. Im worried that he is gonna to go get drunk and come home smashed again. Which i know i shouldn't but how do i keep the focus on me and my work?

mjferg · mjferg

This has been another rough month for me.It has been extremely stressful and I am feeling exhausted.I had some extra money at the first of the month and while I was paying my rent I decided to go ahead and pay all the bills since I had another check coming in a few days.I felt very good about getting all the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Funny how quickly things turn sour when I drop my program. I've not been actively doing anything alanon for weeks now, don't know where my readers are, no meetings, no daily anythings. Not on purpose, I've just let it slide. And it shows. I've been quietly seething over my ex and his wife and their horr...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Everyone have a happy weekend and a safe one and I pray you all have a peaceful weekend

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

I think my AH has finally hit his bottom and Im afraid for him because he's going to attempt going cold turkey after years of hard drinking with only the help of one AA meeting a day. He wants to do detox but with bills pilling up he cant afford to do inpatient. I told him I understood his concerns about finan...

Skorpi · Skorpi

is a HUGE one. every time I think I have it, I am reminded that I do not. My wife started voluntary treatment on Monday. A more real way to say that is that my wife started on Monday to jump through the hoops she thinks she needs in order to avoid a harsher sentence for her third DUI. I would actually say "...

laurabobaura · laurabobaura

Hi everyone, my name is Laura and I just picked my books up off the shelf for the first time in almost a year. I went to Al-Anon meetings 1-2 times a week for almost a year, then was forced to start working third shift. Sleep just always won over anything else. I left that job months ago, yet I haven't been bac...

Flower49 · Flower49

So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 24 speaks about entering Al-Anon and learning a new way of looking at the world and thereby changing our lives. It discusses the thought, that we must guard against judging others by our standards, and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can improve our own standards...

scoob09 · scoob09

I often ask my adult son to turn the lights off if he is not using them, to save me money. It gets on his nerves and I have heard that when someone says something more than once it becomes controlling. So I have tried to hold off saying it so often, but then I wonder how much of it is me walking on egg shells to sav...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have just finished my final very large assignment which is in fact my share of a 4 person group presentation, due to be delivered tomorrow morning at 11.30am. We are the final group to give their presentation and so far the others have been very expansive, well researched and obviously well prepared...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Hello everyone. I am so thankful you are all here and I can type a topic in the search bar and see all the previous posts with such wonderful wisdom, hope and encouragement. I have been going to Al-Anon meetings on my lunch hour once a week since March 10th. Tonight I am adding a second meeting after wor...

mybrotherskeeper · mybrotherskeeper

Hi i am a new member at the suggestion of my mom to try it out and see if it helps me. First let me say i have just realized that at the age of 17 i was an alcoholic at the time i didn't think i was a couple years later i hit rock bottom and decided a change was in order. I meet my boyfriend online and had talked to him f...

kspec85 · kspec85

Can I just say that out of everything I've learned so far, this concept or slogan or whatever just makes me laugh at myself. I'm not sure what I find so amusing but I have found myself repeating this in my internal dialogue and giggling about my prior futile attempts at controlling people, places and thi...

shealah · shealah

My fiancee is drinming again and telling me how I have ruined his life. I am trying to stay away from him...any tips ln how you cope?

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh dear. I didnt have to be anywhere today and daughter is away at camp, so I decided to sleep late and then read the day away. Heaven right? I thought it would be just what I need to destress and get my happy back. So I opened the curtains to let the sun in, lay down on my bed and opened my book and next door star...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I worry I have passed on the trait of perfectionism to both of my daughters. Since I am raising them alone and see they have taken on some of my traits, it bothers me when they take them to the extreme. I know some of it is them and they have to work through it themselves, but in all the years I lived with my exAH...

el-cee · el-cee

Today i am grateful for many many things.... Having a higher power in my life, listening to me, with me when i tune in. Just for today my kids are all working, happy and healthy. Weight loss, ive lost 7lb in 4 days on a low carb diet, feel great. Gorgeous weather and hillwalking. Thanks for reading, have a g...

hulahoop24 · hulahoop24

I attended my first meeting last night. It was very informative but to me, sad. I plan on attending at least 6 meetings, I had a terrible sense of deja vu from attending my first meeting when I was married to my ex. That marriage ended after I saw women there in their 60's still dealing with the disease.....

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for April 23 speaks about the use of sarcasm. It points out that using the negative destructive tool of sarcasm usually relieves our pent-up feelings and gives us a certain satisfaction. Regardless of this is important to note that the word " sarcasm" comes from the Gree...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi. I was getting really tired of focusing so much on my AH ..so I took a break from posting. So...my house is supposed to be sold at auction May 1. Yikes. AH is filing bankruptcy. I went to the lawyer with him, but I decided not to file bankruptcy and just let the house go. He thinks he can save it...so let him...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I left work headed to my first Al-Anon meeting nervous as hell, but determined. It was a 20 minute walk with whipping winds, 37 degrees. I got to the church, found the directory, saw Al-Anon was being held in the 3rd floor conference room. Headed up in the elevator wanting so bad to just turn around and l...

gabigail · gabigail

I realized tonight that I have a real problem that kinda smacked me in the face, kinda looking at it from the inside out. We had a family emergency where we had to go to the ER for my son for a broken arm. And you know how long that takes. And we are sitting and waiting, trying to settle my son down and my nerves,...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 22 speaks about having the courage to search out our defects, our wrongs and our shortcomings, as is discussed in Step four and five. The reading stresses the importance of truly concentrating on the first three steps before we proceed so that we can develop a spiritual f...

Mike B · Mike B

"When I begin to worry about things I can do nothing about, I tell myself to accept what you can't change. Often I've used the ideas in the Serenity Prayer as a trigger for relinquishing my need to control and as a reminder to take action when some discontentment can be remedied."

Jen61 · Jen61

I am finding a lot of things in my life very difficult. I have come a long way but we always need to listen and learn for us to continue to get better.My brother in law came and stayed with us for a couple of days. I am not one who likes having overnight company but I put on my positive face and thought to mysel...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I can't say it's the easiest week I've ever had. But.... Daughter had her rather public meltdown. But through it we are closer, and I have a much clearer picture of what she needs from me right now. She's been happy, I have had a chance to spoil her and mother her relentlessly, in a good way and we have some g...

amys · amys

I am very new to this (15 minutes to be exact) but one of the hardest things that I am experiencing with my alcoholic is the extreme selfishness. "I want to do this right now. I don't want to do this right now. I am mad so I will ignore you now. I am frustrated so I am going to leave the house and talk to...

Runnergirl · Runnergirl

Hello, I am new to this and am feeling desperate and heart broken. I am in love with an AH who has been in recovery for about 8 months. His problem was so serious that he actually died from it twice and was revived. When we met he had been sober for only 3 months. I guess I was pretty clueless because I act...

Carrie B · Carrie B

Sunday my alcoholic left against medical advice and came home. Everything was fine for that day, we took a walk in the park and then we just sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Sometimes we like to stroll through our neighborhood and pick apart the houses until we come up with an idea for our dream ho...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Love; Fear; Focusing on Ourselves The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6...

drivingmecrazy · drivingmecrazy

Hi, im new to this and not to sure how it works,. from reading so many stories it hard to believe that so many people are in the same situation as me. My husband has always liked a drink on social occasions the same as myself, but over the last 5-6 years it got more and more. He tries to hide it and tells lies a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I received news today from one of my cousins that my youngest cousin had shown up on my parents' doorstep at 3 in the morning after having just gotten out of the mental ward and picking up a DUI. Some background: I have stated that I had an alcoholic uncle before. I also have a couple alcoholic cousins...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

So I kicked my AH out of the house last night. Thinking back I should have waited until this morning.. at least that is what one of my al anon friends had mentioned but I just couldn't do it anymore. I had told him what my limit was and he crossed the line. He had taken the day off to look for cars and was sup...

Skorpi · Skorpi

And, I just have to get this off my chest. My wife is home today, said she would take care of some things, give the dogs some attention. Great. Well, she decided to "test" one of our dogs to see if he would come back inside if she let him out to potty without a leash. First time, he came back. Seco...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

So yesterday my AH proclaimed for the 9,578,559th time that he was going to stop drinking. I no longer listen to any of those promises (even though deep down, I wish one day it will be for real). He came home from work with the typical complaints about EVERYTHING. He works for his family, so there are mul...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Is there sight on here dealing and coping with mental illness due to steer dealing with sobriety .

Jozie · Jozie

That Moment when you Know your Heading tords the Pity Pot, Yet Still Keep Moving Forward... I Truly have No Reason, I Had an Amazing Weekend with Tons of Wonderful God Filled Moments, Road My Harley with a Group of Peeps I Never Met, Shared Laughs with Strangers, Seen Gods work in Action along a Beautifu...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading mentions that one sign of maturity is the ability to listen to and consider the opinions of others. This one resonates with me as although I have considered myself to be an openminded person, I also have had that deep down feeling that it was my viewpoint which w...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

It's been awhile since I've been on here. I would call my AH a high functioning alcoholic,,he holds good job and drinks heavily on the weekends. Well, now "weekends" include Thursday nights. He's a different person than the sober one, I miss the sober one. I cannot talk to him about how...

watchdog1999 · watchdog1999

My husband recently took up smoking marijuana (in his mind/manipulation) to reduce the drinking and the effects it has on our marriage and our children. LOL WHAT??? I'm trying to find the humor in this because it is just so ridiculous I can't even begin to explain my thought processes here. Of course,...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 20 talks about the slogans. It points out that Al-Anon is not an easy program to implement and at times we tend to become discouraged, especially if we fall back into old behavior. The reading points out that:"Easy does it ",is a perfect slogan when we feel rushed...

kspec85 · kspec85

I've spent all weekend with the ABF and he has been super healthy sounding. He has been talking about his recovery and is doing well. He goes to court on one of his DUI charges tomorrow and will most likely go into a DUI program where he gets screened every day and has to attend meetings for the next 24 month...

likemyheart · likemyheart

This book I borrowed, I just finished it tearfully, and in the afterward there are two things I want to pass on - the first, because it seems to be a different take on Jerry's "put me where you want me": "Where I am calling you, will you follow me, and do you love me enough to trust me with you...

psychszsd · psychszsd

hello... my fiancé is titrating off of methadone. he has become flat and emotionless. he'll ignore me all night. he is extremely focused on a game on his computer. i am not sure if this is the methadone or what is happening. he does not share much about what he is going through unless i ask. he says that he...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 19 speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It points out that by attending meetings and working the steps we will readily accept the fact that alcoholics are suffering from an illness and are not simply bad people. By accepting this reality, we are able to identify what is...

Debb · Debb

Last night my AH and I were having a discussion about his sister, who I will kindly referred to as a bit "eccentric". He always has difficulty dealing with her thought processess whenever she e-mails or writes him. She actually lives in the same town that we do, but her topics and requests...

likemyheart · likemyheart

I just read this in a book I borrowed - interesting thought, and true. I had so much anger, not sure about hatred, but anger definitely. Guy was in prison, wrongly convicted of something he didn't commit and the anger and hatred only left HIM broken, only hurt HIM. The conscious decision to let my anger g...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for April 18 talks about how much time was spent yearning for things that we were not getting from the people in our lives, including the alcoholic. As part of our recovery, it is suggested that we put all of these needs on paper. The reading noted that most of the important issues that we are...

Fairlee · Fairlee

Hello everyone! It is springtime here in Texas...birds are chirping, plants are blooming...life is beautiful! Planning a family vacation with an active AH is not. So here is the deal: our oldest daughter will graduate next year and my AH would like the whole family to go on a vacation before she gradu...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm still emotionally IQ challenged about the two. When my feelings came up it was always colored with Angry/Sad, Angry/Happy, Angry/Joy, Angry/Angry, obviously there is a common denominator going on .. lol .. yes Anger has been my first last and middle name. That duality was the only way I could f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Not trying to one up Hotrod...I've read the page of the day in the C2C this morning and it is how she says and how it teaches. It is meaning for me. I love the pages because my mind doesn't always hold the messages where and when I need them and so my wife passed me on her ODAAT also...same page and the mess...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi MIP, I've had a pit in my stomach lately... a gnawing kind of realization that I'm trying to push down somehow - but it keeps bubbling up. Four years into my 2nd marriage... (first one was a decade with dry A, and now 4 years) with on and off again sober AH - who for the time being has 60 days, a sponsor a ther...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have good news that I want to share. I am so grateful for my new NP. I went to see her because there hasn't been too many good doctors near where I live. I traveled 60 miles one way to get good treatment. My concerns are less pressing. I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay well. I have not been taking ver...

kspec85 · kspec85

Hey all. The boyfriend is out of jail and so far so good, he hasn't used. I guess that's good? He is going to a meeting today (he says). We will see. Everything he says is sounding great and I am being supportive and not further shaming him for "the incident". I work a LOT and I also have three litt...

Hello I'm a new member · scoob09

Hello, I am a new member to here and quite new to al anon. I have two adult sons one 18 and one is 24, living with me and I am affected by their drinking and behavior. I dont feel ready or willing to do drastic action such as ask them to leave, although from time to time I have wanted them to leave and wished they w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My sponsor isn't let it go either ... LOL. I'm glad however I swear there are just not enough hours in the day. It does force the issue of me attending my one meeting a week .. it is way way way to easy to get out of the groove on that one. I can tell the difference when I go and when I go and when I don't .. it make...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I received a picture message before from Abf's brother. It is of a clean-shaven, short haired ABF. My immediate thought was "But where will all of the woodland creatures live now?" Next came a surprisingly long message from ABF himself (he's more or less illiterate and tends to write in mo...

Mapper · Mapper

H hasn't been to work in 6 weeks. 2 weeks were in rehab and the other 4 were just not going in. You can thank the FMLA for keeping him employed under false pretenses of a hurting back. He wasn't home when I got home this afternoon but I didn't believe he was at work. So I start my detective work. First off I chec...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Things I have learned so far..... (Preview) My AH went to a bunch of meetings this week and was doing great since all the drama last Friday. He bought a new car last night and went to go pick it up and then was going to come home so we could get ice cream with the kids. I could tell when he was putting their car seats in the car that he had drank something. He...	Jazzie18	2	403	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	anxiety for the weekend (Preview) So the weekend is coming up and i have to work, my brother will most likely be home with nothing to occupy his time with as there will be no classes. Im worried that he is gonna to go get drunk and come home smashed again. Which i know i shouldn't but how do i keep the focus on me and my work?	mybrotherskeeper	7	500	Apr 25, 2015 by mybrotherskeeper
	beating myself up! (Preview) This has been another rough month for me.It has been extremely stressful and I am feeling exhausted.I had some extra money at the first of the month and while I was paying my rent I decided to go ahead and pay all the bills since I had another check coming in a few days.I felt very good about getting all the...	mjferg	3	504	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Use it or lose it. (Preview) Funny how quickly things turn sour when I drop my program. I've not been actively doing anything alanon for weeks now, don't know where my readers are, no meetings, no daily anythings. Not on purpose, I've just let it slide. And it shows. I've been quietly seething over my ex and his wife and their horr...	missmeliss	5	531	Apr 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	Weekend (Preview) Everyone have a happy weekend and a safe one and I pray you all have a peaceful weekend	Wisdom67	4	366	Apr 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	How do I help my AH in early attempt at sobriety? (Preview) I think my AH has finally hit his bottom and Im afraid for him because he's going to attempt going cold turkey after years of hard drinking with only the help of one AA meeting a day. He wants to do detox but with bills pilling up he cant afford to do inpatient. I told him I understood his concerns about finan...	Hopefull15	18	603	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Step One ... (Preview) is a HUGE one. every time I think I have it, I am reminded that I do not. My wife started voluntary treatment on Monday. A more real way to say that is that my wife started on Monday to jump through the hoops she thinks she needs in order to avoid a harsher sentence for her third DUI. I would actually say "...	Skorpi	7	809	Apr 24, 2015 by ntd2001
	New to the forums (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is Laura and I just picked my books up off the shelf for the first time in almost a year. I went to Al-Anon meetings 1-2 times a week for almost a year, then was forced to start working third shift. Sleep just always won over anything else. I left that job months ago, yet I haven't been bac...	laurabobaura	11	540	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Annoyed (Preview) So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself...	Flower49	6	463	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	ODAT 4-24 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 24 speaks about entering Al-Anon and learning a new way of looking at the world and thereby changing our lives. It discusses the thought, that we must guard against judging others by our standards, and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can improve our own standards...	hotrod	2	427	Apr 24, 2015 by Debb
	Verbal abuse or am I exaggerating? (Preview) I often ask my adult son to turn the lights off if he is not using them, to save me money. It gets on his nerves and I have heard that when someone says something more than once it becomes controlling. So I have tried to hold off saying it so often, but then I wonder how much of it is me walking on egg shells to sav...	scoob09	6	609	Apr 24, 2015 by honeypig
	In all our affairs.... (Preview) I have just finished my final very large assignment which is in fact my share of a 4 person group presentation, due to be delivered tomorrow morning at 11.30am. We are the final group to give their presentation and so far the others have been very expansive, well researched and obviously well prepared...	missmeliss	9	594	Apr 24, 2015 by honeypig
	I know going to the meeting is right but.... (Preview) Hello everyone. I am so thankful you are all here and I can type a topic in the search bar and see all the previous posts with such wonderful wisdom, hope and encouragement. I have been going to Al-Anon meetings on my lunch hour once a week since March 10th. Tonight I am adding a second meeting after wor...	Bethany66	9	550	Apr 24, 2015 by CoopsMom
	how do i detach with love when i feel like i cant detach (Preview) Hi i am a new member at the suggestion of my mom to try it out and see if it helps me. First let me say i have just realized that at the age of 17 i was an alcoholic at the time i didn't think i was a couple years later i hit rock bottom and decided a change was in order. I meet my boyfriend online and had talked to him f...	mybrotherskeeper	12	741	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	He has a higher power and it's not me! (Preview) Can I just say that out of everything I've learned so far, this concept or slogan or whatever just makes me laugh at myself. I'm not sure what I find so amusing but I have found myself repeating this in my internal dialogue and giggling about my prior futile attempts at controlling people, places and thi...	kspec85	3	431	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Coping... (Preview) My fiancee is drinming again and telling me how I have ruined his life. I am trying to stay away from him...any tips ln how you cope?	shealah	3	351	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	My relaxing day. (Preview) Oh dear. I didnt have to be anywhere today and daughter is away at camp, so I decided to sleep late and then read the day away. Heaven right? I thought it would be just what I need to destress and get my happy back. So I opened the curtains to let the sun in, lay down on my bed and opened my book and next door star...	missmeliss	7	562	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Perfectionism (Preview) I worry I have passed on the trait of perfectionism to both of my daughters. Since I am raising them alone and see they have taken on some of my traits, it bothers me when they take them to the extreme. I know some of it is them and they have to work through it themselves, but in all the years I lived with my exAH...	Breakingfree	4	466	Apr 24, 2015 by hotrod
	gratitude (Preview) Today i am grateful for many many things.... Having a higher power in my life, listening to me, with me when i tune in. Just for today my kids are all working, happy and healthy. Weight loss, ive lost 7lb in 4 days on a low carb diet, feel great. Gorgeous weather and hillwalking. Thanks for reading, have a g...	el-cee	3	385	Apr 24, 2015 by Mike B
	First Meeting (Preview) I attended my first meeting last night. It was very informative but to me, sad. I plan on attending at least 6 meetings, I had a terrible sense of deja vu from attending my first meeting when I was married to my ex. That marriage ended after I saw women there in their 60's still dealing with the disease.....	hulahoop24	9	688	Apr 24, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	C2C 4-23 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 23 speaks about the use of sarcasm. It points out that using the negative destructive tool of sarcasm usually relieves our pent-up feelings and gives us a certain satisfaction. Regardless of this is important to note that the word " sarcasm" comes from the Gree...	hotrod	3	424	Apr 24, 2015 by el-cee
	Hi everyone...update (Preview) Hi. I was getting really tired of focusing so much on my AH ..so I took a break from posting. So...my house is supposed to be sold at auction May 1. Yikes. AH is filing bankruptcy. I went to the lawyer with him, but I decided not to file bankruptcy and just let the house go. He thinks he can save it...so let him...	Newlife girl	5	497	Apr 23, 2015 by Newlife girl
	I tried...sigh (Preview) I left work headed to my first Al-Anon meeting nervous as hell, but determined. It was a 20 minute walk with whipping winds, 37 degrees. I got to the church, found the directory, saw Al-Anon was being held in the 3rd floor conference room. Headed up in the elevator wanting so bad to just turn around and l...	CoopsMom	10	552	Apr 23, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Dealing with resentment and moving past it (Preview) I realized tonight that I have a real problem that kinda smacked me in the face, kinda looking at it from the inside out. We had a family emergency where we had to go to the ER for my son for a broken arm. And you know how long that takes. And we are sitting and waiting, trying to settle my son down and my nerves,...	gabigail	4	2539	Apr 23, 2015 by Breakingfree
	C2C 4-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 22 speaks about having the courage to search out our defects, our wrongs and our shortcomings, as is discussed in Step four and five. The reading stresses the importance of truly concentrating on the first three steps before we proceed so that we can develop a spiritual f...	hotrod	6	669	Apr 22, 2015 by laurabobaura
	Action or Not (Preview) "When I begin to worry about things I can do nothing about, I tell myself to accept what you can't change. Often I've used the ideas in the Serenity Prayer as a trigger for relinquishing my need to control and as a reminder to take action when some discontentment can be remedied."	Mike B	2	408	Apr 22, 2015 by Skorpi
	Some difficult times........... (Preview) I am finding a lot of things in my life very difficult. I have come a long way but we always need to listen and learn for us to continue to get better.My brother in law came and stayed with us for a couple of days. I am not one who likes having overnight company but I put on my positive face and thought to mysel...	Jen61	18	995	Apr 22, 2015 by Jen61
	But. (Preview) I can't say it's the easiest week I've ever had. But.... Daughter had her rather public meltdown. But through it we are closer, and I have a much clearer picture of what she needs from me right now. She's been happy, I have had a chance to spoil her and mother her relentlessly, in a good way and we have some g...	missmeliss	10	661	Apr 22, 2015 by Mirandac
	Selfish (Preview) I am very new to this (15 minutes to be exact) but one of the hardest things that I am experiencing with my alcoholic is the extreme selfishness. "I want to do this right now. I don't want to do this right now. I am mad so I will ignore you now. I am frustrated so I am going to leave the house and talk to...	amys	6	533	Apr 22, 2015 by amys
	boyfriend advice please (Preview) Hello, I am new to this and am feeling desperate and heart broken. I am in love with an AH who has been in recovery for about 8 months. His problem was so serious that he actually died from it twice and was revived. When we met he had been sober for only 3 months. I guess I was pretty clueless because I act...	Runnergirl	5	508	Apr 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	Codependency at it's finest (Preview) Sunday my alcoholic left against medical advice and came home. Everything was fine for that day, we took a walk in the park and then we just sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Sometimes we like to stroll through our neighborhood and pick apart the houses until we come up with an idea for our dream ho...	Carrie B	14	923	Apr 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Love; Fear; Focusing on Ourselves The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6...	shimo	0	270	Apr 22, 2015 by shimo
	When does it stop? (Preview) Hi, im new to this and not to sure how it works,. from reading so many stories it hard to believe that so many people are in the same situation as me. My husband has always liked a drink on social occasions the same as myself, but over the last 5-6 years it got more and more. He tries to hide it and tells lies a...	drivingmecrazy	2	511	Apr 21, 2015 by drivingmecrazy
	Lecture to my parents (Preview) I received news today from one of my cousins that my youngest cousin had shown up on my parents' doorstep at 3 in the morning after having just gotten out of the mental ward and picking up a DUI. Some background: I have stated that I had an alcoholic uncle before. I also have a couple alcoholic cousins...	pinkchip	10	734	Apr 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Sick to my stomach (Preview) So I kicked my AH out of the house last night. Thinking back I should have waited until this morning.. at least that is what one of my al anon friends had mentioned but I just couldn't do it anymore. I had told him what my limit was and he crossed the line. He had taken the day off to look for cars and was sup...	Jazzie18	17	756	Apr 21, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	SO Angry (Preview) And, I just have to get this off my chest. My wife is home today, said she would take care of some things, give the dogs some attention. Great. Well, she decided to "test" one of our dogs to see if he would come back inside if she let him out to potty without a leash. First time, he came back. Seco...	Skorpi	23	737	Apr 21, 2015 by Tired-of-it
	Give him the info or leave it alone? (Preview) So yesterday my AH proclaimed for the 9,578,559th time that he was going to stop drinking. I no longer listen to any of those promises (even though deep down, I wish one day it will be for real). He came home from work with the typical complaints about EVERYTHING. He works for his family, so there are mul...	CoopsMom	8	535	Apr 21, 2015 by Tired-of-it
	need guidance (Preview) Is there sight on here dealing and coping with mental illness due to steer dealing with sobriety .	Wisdom67	10	665	Apr 21, 2015 by milkwood
	Pushing Thru... (Preview) That Moment when you Know your Heading tords the Pity Pot, Yet Still Keep Moving Forward... I Truly have No Reason, I Had an Amazing Weekend with Tons of Wonderful God Filled Moments, Road My Harley with a Group of Peeps I Never Met, Shared Laughs with Strangers, Seen Gods work in Action along a Beautifu...	Jozie	6	551	Apr 21, 2015 by Jozie
	Hope For Today April 21 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading mentions that one sign of maturity is the ability to listen to and consider the opinions of others. This one resonates with me as although I have considered myself to be an openminded person, I also have had that deep down feeling that it was my viewpoint which w...	yanksfan51	3	587	Apr 21, 2015 by yanksfan51
	How to talk about it when they won't (Preview) It's been awhile since I've been on here. I would call my AH a high functioning alcoholic,,he holds good job and drinks heavily on the weekends. Well, now "weekends" include Thursday nights. He's a different person than the sober one, I miss the sober one. I cannot talk to him about how...	Seahorse7	6	658	Apr 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	When your AH takes on an additional addiction to combat the drinking (LOL) (Preview) My husband recently took up smoking marijuana (in his mind/manipulation) to reduce the drinking and the effects it has on our marriage and our children. LOL WHAT??? I'm trying to find the humor in this because it is just so ridiculous I can't even begin to explain my thought processes here. Of course,...	watchdog1999	12	594	Apr 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	ODAT 4-20 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 20 talks about the slogans. It points out that Al-Anon is not an easy program to implement and at times we tend to become discouraged, especially if we fall back into old behavior. The reading points out that:"Easy does it ",is a perfect slogan when we feel rushed...	hotrod	2	303	Apr 20, 2015 by hotrod
	Anticipating Drama (Preview) I've spent all weekend with the ABF and he has been super healthy sounding. He has been talking about his recovery and is doing well. He goes to court on one of his DUI charges tomorrow and will most likely go into a DUI program where he gets screened every day and has to attend meetings for the next 24 month...	kspec85	6	527	Apr 20, 2015 by Mike B
	Remnding me of JerryF (Preview) This book I borrowed, I just finished it tearfully, and in the afterward there are two things I want to pass on - the first, because it seems to be a different take on Jerry's "put me where you want me": "Where I am calling you, will you follow me, and do you love me enough to trust me with you...	likemyheart	3	457	Apr 20, 2015 by likemyheart
	does anyone have experience with coping with a family member titrating off of methadone? or anything?? i need support methadone titration family member finance advice support (Preview) hello... my fiancé is titrating off of methadone. he has become flat and emotionless. he'll ignore me all night. he is extremely focused on a game on his computer. i am not sure if this is the methadone or what is happening. he does not share much about what he is going through unless i ask. he says that he...	psychszsd	2	5322	Apr 20, 2015 by pinkchip
	C2C 4-19 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 19 speaks about alcoholism being a disease. It points out that by attending meetings and working the steps we will readily accept the fact that alcoholics are suffering from an illness and are not simply bad people. By accepting this reality, we are able to identify what is...	hotrod	3	460	Apr 19, 2015 by Debb
	Interesting Discussion .... Your thoughts? (Preview) Last night my AH and I were having a discussion about his sister, who I will kindly referred to as a bit "eccentric". He always has difficulty dealing with her thought processess whenever she e-mails or writes him. She actually lives in the same town that we do, but her topics and requests...	Debb	7	551	Apr 19, 2015 by Debb
	Hatred and anger does not kill hatred and anger (Preview) I just read this in a book I borrowed - interesting thought, and true. I had so much anger, not sure about hatred, but anger definitely. Guy was in prison, wrongly convicted of something he didn't commit and the anger and hatred only left HIM broken, only hurt HIM. The conscious decision to let my anger g...	likemyheart	9	636	Apr 19, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2C 4=18 (Preview) C2C reading for April 18 talks about how much time was spent yearning for things that we were not getting from the people in our lives, including the alcoholic. As part of our recovery, it is suggested that we put all of these needs on paper. The reading noted that most of the important issues that we are...	hotrod	1	446	Apr 19, 2015 by gabigail
	Family vacation. How does it work for you? (Preview) Hello everyone! It is springtime here in Texas...birds are chirping, plants are blooming...life is beautiful! Planning a family vacation with an active AH is not. So here is the deal: our oldest daughter will graduate next year and my AH would like the whole family to go on a vacation before she gradu...	Fairlee	3	505	Apr 19, 2015 by el-cee
	Guilt Vs Shame (Preview) I'm still emotionally IQ challenged about the two. When my feelings came up it was always colored with Angry/Sad, Angry/Happy, Angry/Joy, Angry/Angry, obviously there is a common denominator going on .. lol .. yes Anger has been my first last and middle name. That duality was the only way I could f...	SerenityRUS	14	2427	Apr 18, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAAT 4=18 (Preview) Not trying to one up Hotrod...I've read the page of the day in the C2C this morning and it is how she says and how it teaches. It is meaning for me. I love the pages because my mind doesn't always hold the messages where and when I need them and so my wife passed me on her ODAAT also...same page and the mess...	Jerry F	2	365	Apr 18, 2015 by hotrod
	Pit in my stomach (Preview) Hi MIP, I've had a pit in my stomach lately... a gnawing kind of realization that I'm trying to push down somehow - but it keeps bubbling up. Four years into my 2nd marriage... (first one was a decade with dry A, and now 4 years) with on and off again sober AH - who for the time being has 60 days, a sponsor a ther...	LedfootJenny	10	618	Apr 18, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	feeling more secure... (Preview) I have good news that I want to share. I am so grateful for my new NP. I went to see her because there hasn't been too many good doctors near where I live. I traveled 60 miles one way to get good treatment. My concerns are less pressing. I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay well. I have not been taking ver...	Hoot Nanny	3	360	Apr 18, 2015 by Fairlee
	Can't Bring Myself to Go to F2F Meetings (Preview) Hey all. The boyfriend is out of jail and so far so good, he hasn't used. I guess that's good? He is going to a meeting today (he says). We will see. Everything he says is sounding great and I am being supportive and not further shaming him for "the incident". I work a LOT and I also have three litt...	kspec85	12	676	Apr 18, 2015 by Fairlee
	Hello I'm a new member (Preview) Hello, I am a new member to here and quite new to al anon. I have two adult sons one 18 and one is 24, living with me and I am affected by their drinking and behavior. I dont feel ready or willing to do drastic action such as ask them to leave, although from time to time I have wanted them to leave and wished they w...	scoob09	7	580	Apr 18, 2015 by scoob09
	Service (Preview) My sponsor isn't let it go either ... LOL. I'm glad however I swear there are just not enough hours in the day. It does force the issue of me attending my one meeting a week .. it is way way way to easy to get out of the groove on that one. I can tell the difference when I go and when I go and when I don't .. it make...	SerenityRUS	2	343	Apr 17, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	The Great Distraction (Preview) I received a picture message before from Abf's brother. It is of a clean-shaven, short haired ABF. My immediate thought was "But where will all of the woodland creatures live now?" Next came a surprisingly long message from ABF himself (he's more or less illiterate and tends to write in mo...	missmeliss	14	613	Apr 17, 2015 by LinSC
	Do I confront him on ths or will it do me no good? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) H hasn't been to work in 6 weeks. 2 weeks were in rehab and the other 4 were just not going in. You can thank the FMLA for keeping him employed under false pretenses of a hurting back. He wasn't home when I got home this afternoon but I didn't believe he was at work. So I start my detective work. First off I chec...	Mapper	69	1332	Apr 17, 2015 by pinkchip
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.