Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Maine Girl · Maine Girl

My story is this: My alcoholic husband took his life 5 years ago. I went to Al Anon in the 2 years before his death and also afterward. I am now 6 months into a relationship with a man who is almost 9 years sober and works his AA program faithfully. I am discovering how much work I still need to do with my ow...

Erry · Erry

Hi all, very new to al-anon. Question to ask, does anyone carry around resentment and if so how do they deal with it? It consumes me sometimes and although after a couple of hours I'll start reading my literature and feel better it takes me the couple of hours to turn to my literature. Will I always feel li...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I sat and worked with my sponsor last night on Step 3. This one is hard for me. I get the whole frog on the lilly pad thing and that making the decision is only the first step that I have to JUMP too... (from Paths to recovery) I can't got that He can (got that) LET HIM this one is hard for me... ...

Irish7 · Irish7

Occasionally I see a post on the AA board to which I would like to offer e/s/h. Is that permitted? If so, am I able to use my al anon MIP screen name and password to log in over there? Thanks

Jen61 · Jen61

I think I probably have known this for a while but after giving it quite a bit thought I have come to the conclusion that I have lost respect for my husband. We have been together for 38 years with the drinking 10+ years. We have both changed dramatically over those 10 years and it has been hard. I find my...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for April 29 speaks about holding onto guilt and shame. It points out that many members have grown up in an alcoholic home, and because of this are very familiar with harsh criticism and constant fear. We tend to react with guilt and exaggerate the significance of any e...

Hillyard · Hillyard

As I dig deep into my emotions I notice a constant fear driving a lot of my actions. I feel like I'm not worthy. I feel that I can get involved with recovery for myself and my wife will end up finding someone else. It scares me. What I really want id a healthy partner to spend my life with. I want my wife to be tha...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Lots of anxiety over here. I feel like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode. Does anyone else deal with this? My wife f bombed me and I told her not to and that I don't like that language. Then she told me she didn't say it. What???? I'm in the twilight zone. Am I going crazy?

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 30 is a very powerful reflection on the word "selfishness". The reading points out that this word is often maligned and frowned upon and that we must look up at this in a different light. I know that I always thought that I was unselfish and giving until Al-Anon as...

Complexnatural · Complexnatural

I just have to share. I am not new to Alanon. I attended some meetings years ago but never have worked the steps. Now my life is unmanageable and I am ready to get to work on myself. Growing up in an alcoholic house, I became a perfectionist. This includes always working a full-time job and a part-ti...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

3 months ago my husband drove drunk and flipped the car (with me in it.) His court date is this week. His lawyer asked me to be present at the trial and vouch for his progress and sobriety. When we had that original conversation, I was okay with it. AH had been making progress- using his meetings, spon...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced. If we concentrate on making others happy,...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This past Monday was my AD and her twin sister's birthdays. My AD joined us at our family Easter Brunch at the beginning of April, and we spoke to each other, though not much. She has a boyfriend now, and he seems to be good for her. She looked good (I hadn't seen her for almost two months). I decided to send h...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics. They are both still active. I haven't spoken to them in a little over 2 years now. We were pretty close before so it has taken me this long to adjust to our estrangement. I came across some ACOA information through someone on facebook this week that has stirred some thin...

abell · abell

I made the geographic change to leave when i was 20 weeks pregnant from AHBF. I quit my job, sold my car, and went to my parents, they were abusive and my mom hurt the baby, then i drove 1000 miles in 3 days when the baby was 4 months old to go to my aunt's house. my aunt didn't tell me that she was with an abusiv...

kathleen1212 · kathleen1212

I'm wondering if there is a support group online for specifically adult children of alcoholics? Alanon has been great and I want to continue to attend meetings but am looking for extra support. I'm about to go to an alanon meeting with my sister who is working very hard in AA. The support of the alanon...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

ah wont sign off on "my" pension leaving me without money to move out. I knew it was a long shot. he wants to keep me prioner here while he is drunk every day and nite. i dont drive, live out in the booneys. im not 25 anymoer,i cant leave with $100 and a few prs of jeans. it is so terribly expensive he...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Well, I got through court just fine. I haven't had that kind of anxiety since I originally had XAH served, his last over the top reaction in January really freaked me out. That had so little to do with me and so much to do with his lack of communication .. nothing new there. I had to laugh to myself though...

Hillyard · Hillyard

Hello, everyone. I'm very new to Al-Anon but I think it's something I'm going to need to be a part of. I have been married for almost 19 years. About 10 years ago my wife began to drink in response to the divorce of her parents. I was drinking at the time too but I eventually slowed down. I still drink but it's...

purav · purav

Hi allThis is the first post I am making on here and I am very new to Al Anon.I have been reading some of the posts and am wondering if my situation is relevant.A little bit of back story might be useful, but I must say I have never written any of this down or even vocalized the situation in a way that was comple...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just out of concern for any in the fellowship of Al-Anon and MIP.... please be extra careful and of course anyone else on the rim of danger. ((((Hugs))))

Jerry F · Jerry F

And welcome to the board. You checked in on Hillyard's post and asked how does one work step 1. Lots of family's gonna stop by and offer their experience on the question also and for me working Step one meant realizing that the problem was alcohol and drug addiction and that everything I had wished o...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

Got home last night from work only to see that my husband had been drinking. Of course he denied it but that only made me more pissed as I want him to know that I am no longer ignoring it and wanted to call him out on it. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I just couldn't help myself. I am still pissed today a...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Talked to my ex A today and I been talking to him daily I should say , since we been divorced we get along better and have more respect for each other's recovery , again I wish I didn't divorce him I just wish he would of given me my space to work on me and get healthy but I guess sometimes a divorce is needed . Wel...

Steffa · Steffa

I'm new to both this forum and Al-Anon. I have been married to an alcoholic for 14 years. We have two children, 18 and 10. His drinking had become so traumatic I insisted he go to rehab or move out last October. He was in rehab for over a month, then sober for nearly 6 months before he relapsed. That was...

Fullcup · Fullcup

I've read a lot of threads & can relate some to my situation but I'm looking for guidance . My Mom is 72 year old active alcoholic with cirrohhis who has tried to get sober via AA but it doesn't last. I have one sibling who lives 3 states away & pretty much has nothing to do with her. My husbands job br...

vlia1029 · vlia1029

I went to my first al-anon meeting yesterday. My AH thinks it was a support group for parents of special needs children. When I came home he asked how it went. I told him how much I liked it and how I wanted to start going every Sunday and Monday. He was totally on board, at first. Then he responded, what abou...

Skorpi · Skorpi

My intention for today was to be gentle with myself. Then, I went to work and got to deal with a few issues, went to my intake appointment with a counselor who was really pushing me to do and commit to more than I felt I was able to do, got back to work and helped clean out the kitchen, returned to my office to...

mobius · mobius

Been away from Al anon a long time; now I'm back. My life has become unmanageable. My alcoholic husband who was in recovery died of cancer 3.5 years ago and I am lost. I am back to find myself as I feel as though I was buried along with my husband.

4myboys · 4myboys

It's been a while since I've been on the board or to a meeting and need to get to one asap. It's also been about 6 months since AH and I have lived together. I have already grown so far apart from him especially with all the recent events. But still I can't let him go and I don't know what I'm holding to. A couple...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Morning Everyone: Today's reading in Hope for Today is about the difference between Step 11, to pray "only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out" and the praying for God to allow our own wants and what we think we need, through OUR will, to be carried out. This is a gr...

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Well it's been almost a month since the kids and I moved out. in so many ways it's better living on my own than with AH and I don't regret the choice BUT he hasn't said a word to me about anything besides when he sees the kids. No I miss you, I wish you'd move back, nothing. Like he could care less, just as long a...

aymees · aymees

I live in a very urban area so I have no excuse for not finding a face to face meeting, but I'm a little lost as to which one I should start with, as they often have different "titles". My son is 24 and an alcoholic. He just finished a 30-day program for the 2nd time in his life and is entering a 90-da...

kelllkelll · kelllkelll

I havent got any guidebooks or found any meetings yet and really want to understand what the steps are and the ideas surrounding them so i can quit being angry. I know sometimes i get angry because if i dont i will break down and cry and i just dont have the time! I also care for my aging mother who is also drug...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a young cousin. She is the prettiest, funniest, most adorable person that ever walked the earth. She is also about 12 years younger than me and a super-smart-ass. Did I mention gorgeous. She sent me a message tonight, to tell me she feels angry, I am the only person in the family she trusts, she is a...

kelllkelll · kelllkelll

Laurabobaura mentioned picking up books off her shelf can someone help me by telling me what books i should start with, can get from library, or when i can afford or find a meeting. I am dealing with meth and heroin addicted daughter, with a child, and an aging, addicted mother. Thank you.

missmeliss · missmeliss

I saw this little parable today and it really spoke to me. It was just posted anon on facebook so I can't quote a source. "One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the we...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for today, April 26, asks the question:' What do I want. Al-Anon to do for me?". It points out that this program is a powerful tool for those of us who are brave enough to acknowledge our faults with courage and honesty. Al-Anon ask us to look at our good and bad qualities so that we ca...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Divorce depression, grief, recovery and trauma are putting me on edge and i am not feeling very centered or emotionally stable. I will get thru this, only three more weeks before the divorce. God is holding my hand. May15 th is the court date we still have no financial agreement and might need the judg...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60093481/alanon-tradition-7/

likemyheart · likemyheart

I was looking at pinkchip's profile, was gonna ask if the parrot was his and glanced at his whiteboard messages, then over to Jerry's whiteboard to see what else was written on the subject of saying "maybe I'm wrong". Interesting, and something I'm not very good at, considering that my tak...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a friend that lives in America that I met via an al-anon type group on the internet and we have become pretty close, "soul sisters" we say. Just before, as I sat in my room in the middle of the night huddled by my heater, she told me it is morning over there and she is going outside to plant su...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I can see the progress in myself thanks to this program tonight. One year ago my step daughter revealed she had bee cutting herself. Arms, legs - her beautiful 14 yo baby skin scabbed over from self harm. I immediately got into "fixer" mode. AH is her father, and without tools, verbiage...

hotrod · hotrod

The O D A T reading for April 25 speaks about alcoholism being a disease and only the alcoholic can set himself free from this compulsion. It validates the point that we non alcoholics enter Al-Anon, believing that we should be able to correct the situation that is causing us so much suffering. We fi...

honeypig · honeypig

Good morning--I'm new here, altho not new to Alanon. I've been active in an online alcoholism/addiction forum for over 2 years and am endlessly grateful for the ES&H I've been privileged to receive there. Recently the site underwent a revision and now has a very commercial feel to it. There a...

Truth · Truth

Work is going well ... Finally pushing through our two year project. My mom is staying with us. My son is excited to have grandma with us. She has been helping a great deal and it is appreciated. I have made it to the gym and my house is just about fixed. The not so good news ex-A quit paying child support. I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm having some anxiety issues there is something to be said about not knowing how you feel about something .. lol. I didn't know it was anxiety and I was ok with that. Now I'm having nausea in the AM and waking up in the middle of the night. I have had a couple of nightmares. Needless to say I have court c...

Fairlee · Fairlee

I might be a little more hard-headed than most, I'm not sure. I have been taking steps forward and then backwards, totally on the merry go round of craziness that is living with a very active A. (the getting disappointed time and time again, getting angry at the lack of caring, the sneaking around, the b...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Today I am planning on meeting a couple girlfriends for breakfast then we will walk our dogs as long as the rain holds off. I don't get many lazy days off and well I am going to enjoy it, but when I get back I have plenty of homework and studying to get at, but I find if I fit in the things I love to do I am more prod...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH went to a bunch of meetings this week and was doing great since all the drama last Friday. He bought a new car last night and went to go pick it up and then was going to come home so we could get ice cream with the kids. I could tell when he was putting their car seats in the car that he had drank something. He...

mybrotherskeeper · mybrotherskeeper

So the weekend is coming up and i have to work, my brother will most likely be home with nothing to occupy his time with as there will be no classes. Im worried that he is gonna to go get drunk and come home smashed again. Which i know i shouldn't but how do i keep the focus on me and my work?

mjferg · mjferg

This has been another rough month for me.It has been extremely stressful and I am feeling exhausted.I had some extra money at the first of the month and while I was paying my rent I decided to go ahead and pay all the bills since I had another check coming in a few days.I felt very good about getting all the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Funny how quickly things turn sour when I drop my program. I've not been actively doing anything alanon for weeks now, don't know where my readers are, no meetings, no daily anythings. Not on purpose, I've just let it slide. And it shows. I've been quietly seething over my ex and his wife and their horr...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Everyone have a happy weekend and a safe one and I pray you all have a peaceful weekend

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

I think my AH has finally hit his bottom and Im afraid for him because he's going to attempt going cold turkey after years of hard drinking with only the help of one AA meeting a day. He wants to do detox but with bills pilling up he cant afford to do inpatient. I told him I understood his concerns about finan...

Skorpi · Skorpi

is a HUGE one. every time I think I have it, I am reminded that I do not. My wife started voluntary treatment on Monday. A more real way to say that is that my wife started on Monday to jump through the hoops she thinks she needs in order to avoid a harsher sentence for her third DUI. I would actually say "...

laurabobaura · laurabobaura

Hi everyone, my name is Laura and I just picked my books up off the shelf for the first time in almost a year. I went to Al-Anon meetings 1-2 times a week for almost a year, then was forced to start working third shift. Sleep just always won over anything else. I left that job months ago, yet I haven't been bac...

Flower49 · Flower49

So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 24 speaks about entering Al-Anon and learning a new way of looking at the world and thereby changing our lives. It discusses the thought, that we must guard against judging others by our standards, and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can improve our own standards...

scoob09 · scoob09

I often ask my adult son to turn the lights off if he is not using them, to save me money. It gets on his nerves and I have heard that when someone says something more than once it becomes controlling. So I have tried to hold off saying it so often, but then I wonder how much of it is me walking on egg shells to sav...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Being in relationship with a man who works his AA program showing me I have work to do..... (Preview) My story is this: My alcoholic husband took his life 5 years ago. I went to Al Anon in the 2 years before his death and also afterward. I am now 6 months into a relationship with a man who is almost 9 years sober and works his AA program faithfully. I am discovering how much work I still need to do with my ow...	Maine Girl	3	436	May 1, 2015 by hotrod
	resentment (Preview) Hi all, very new to al-anon. Question to ask, does anyone carry around resentment and if so how do they deal with it? It consumes me sometimes and although after a couple of hours I'll start reading my literature and feel better it takes me the couple of hours to turn to my literature. Will I always feel li...	Erry	7	1136	May 1, 2015 by Complexnatural
	Struggling with Step3 STEP 3 (Preview) I sat and worked with my sponsor last night on Step 3. This one is hard for me. I get the whole frog on the lilly pad thing and that making the decision is only the first step that I have to JUMP too... (from Paths to recovery) I can't got that He can (got that) LET HIM this one is hard for me... ...	ladybugnessa	9	612	May 1, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Posting on AA board? (Preview) Occasionally I see a post on the AA board to which I would like to offer e/s/h. Is that permitted? If so, am I able to use my al anon MIP screen name and password to log in over there? Thanks	Irish7	2	578	Apr 30, 2015 by Irish7
	I have come to the conclusion (Preview) I think I probably have known this for a while but after giving it quite a bit thought I have come to the conclusion that I have lost respect for my husband. We have been together for 38 years with the drinking 10+ years. We have both changed dramatically over those 10 years and it has been hard. I find my...	Jen61	9	766	Apr 30, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	C2C 4-29 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for April 29 speaks about holding onto guilt and shame. It points out that many members have grown up in an alcoholic home, and because of this are very familiar with harsh criticism and constant fear. We tend to react with guilt and exaggerate the significance of any e...	hotrod	5	495	Apr 30, 2015 by ntd2001
	Lack of self esteem (Preview) As I dig deep into my emotions I notice a constant fear driving a lot of my actions. I feel like I'm not worthy. I feel that I can get involved with recovery for myself and my wife will end up finding someone else. It scares me. What I really want id a healthy partner to spend my life with. I want my wife to be tha...	Hillyard	10	1187	Apr 30, 2015 by Jerry F
	My stomach is in knots (Preview) Lots of anxiety over here. I feel like I'm constantly in fight or flight mode. Does anyone else deal with this? My wife f bombed me and I told her not to and that I don't like that language. Then she told me she didn't say it. What???? I'm in the twilight zone. Am I going crazy?	Hillyard	12	1105	Apr 30, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	ODAT 4-30 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 30 is a very powerful reflection on the word "selfishness". The reading points out that this word is often maligned and frowned upon and that we must look up at this in a different light. I know that I always thought that I was unselfish and giving until Al-Anon as...	hotrod	0	418	Apr 30, 2015 by hotrod
	Turned it over to my hp (Preview) I just have to share. I am not new to Alanon. I attended some meetings years ago but never have worked the steps. Now my life is unmanageable and I am ready to get to work on myself. Growing up in an alcoholic house, I became a perfectionist. This includes always working a full-time job and a part-ti...	Complexnatural	1	474	Apr 30, 2015 by hotrod
	Conflicted about court appearance. (Preview) 3 months ago my husband drove drunk and flipped the car (with me in it.) His court date is this week. His lawyer asked me to be present at the trial and vouch for his progress and sobriety. When we had that original conversation, I was okay with it. AH had been making progress- using his meetings, spon...	Bloodshotbetty	18	797	Apr 30, 2015 by Mike B
	C2C and ODAT thoughts for 4-27 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 27 speaks about self-esteem and how to attain it. It points out that self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am and that each time I base myr self-worth and what we do or what others think of us, our self-esteem is reduced. If we concentrate on making others happy,...	hotrod	4	572	Apr 30, 2015 by Debb
	AD Continues to Pull at My Heartstrings (Preview) This past Monday was my AD and her twin sister's birthdays. My AD joined us at our family Easter Brunch at the beginning of April, and we spoke to each other, though not much. She has a boyfriend now, and he seems to be good for her. She looked good (I hadn't seen her for almost two months). I decided to send h...	Green Eyes	10	793	Apr 29, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	ACOA (Preview) I am an adult child of 2 alcoholics. They are both still active. I haven't spoken to them in a little over 2 years now. We were pretty close before so it has taken me this long to adjust to our estrangement. I came across some ACOA information through someone on facebook this week that has stirred some thin...	StargazerLily	3	421	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
	Just me and my baby (Preview) I made the geographic change to leave when i was 20 weeks pregnant from AHBF. I quit my job, sold my car, and went to my parents, they were abusive and my mom hurt the baby, then i drove 1000 miles in 3 days when the baby was 4 months old to go to my aunt's house. my aunt didn't tell me that she was with an abusiv...	abell	4	625	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
	Adult Children of Alcoholics? (Preview) I'm wondering if there is a support group online for specifically adult children of alcoholics? Alanon has been great and I want to continue to attend meetings but am looking for extra support. I'm about to go to an alanon meeting with my sister who is working very hard in AA. The support of the alanon...	kathleen1212	1	363	Apr 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	help me!!! (Preview) ah wont sign off on "my" pension leaving me without money to move out. I knew it was a long shot. he wants to keep me prioner here while he is drunk every day and nite. i dont drive, live out in the booneys. im not 25 anymoer,i cant leave with $100 and a few prs of jeans. it is so terribly expensive he...	YARNCRAZY	8	923	Apr 29, 2015 by el-cee
	Court (Preview) Well, I got through court just fine. I haven't had that kind of anxiety since I originally had XAH served, his last over the top reaction in January really freaked me out. That had so little to do with me and so much to do with his lack of communication .. nothing new there. I had to laugh to myself though...	SerenityRUS	3	642	Apr 29, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Hello, everyone. I'm very new to Al-Anon but I think it's something I'm going to need to be a part of. I have been married for almost 19 years. About 10 years ago my wife began to drink in response to the divorce of her parents. I was drinking at the time too but I eventually slowed down. I still drink but it's...	Hillyard	18	761	Apr 29, 2015 by Jerry F
	how can I be free of this? (Preview) Hi allThis is the first post I am making on here and I am very new to Al Anon.I have been reading some of the posts and am wondering if my situation is relevant.A little bit of back story might be useful, but I must say I have never written any of this down or even vocalized the situation in a way that was comple...	purav	13	822	Apr 29, 2015 by purav
	Baltimore (Preview) Just out of concern for any in the fellowship of Al-Anon and MIP.... please be extra careful and of course anyone else on the rim of danger. ((((Hugs))))	Jerry F	5	2480	Apr 29, 2015 by pinkchip
	Aloha Kwrocks (Preview) And welcome to the board. You checked in on Hillyard's post and asked how does one work step 1. Lots of family's gonna stop by and offer their experience on the question also and for me working Step one meant realizing that the problem was alcohol and drug addiction and that everything I had wished o...	Jerry F	1	533	Apr 29, 2015 by hotrod
	How do you keep the anger and resentment at bay? (Preview) Got home last night from work only to see that my husband had been drinking. Of course he denied it but that only made me more pissed as I want him to know that I am no longer ignoring it and wanted to call him out on it. I know I shouldn't be doing this but I just couldn't help myself. I am still pissed today a...	Jazzie18	13	1194	Apr 28, 2015 by maryjane
	Talked to Ex (Preview) Talked to my ex A today and I been talking to him daily I should say , since we been divorced we get along better and have more respect for each other's recovery , again I wish I didn't divorce him I just wish he would of given me my space to work on me and get healthy but I guess sometimes a divorce is needed . Wel...	Wisdom67	3	639	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Husband in recovery just relapsed. Now what? (Preview) I'm new to both this forum and Al-Anon. I have been married to an alcoholic for 14 years. We have two children, 18 and 10. His drinking had become so traumatic I insisted he go to rehab or move out last October. He was in rehab for over a month, then sober for nearly 6 months before he relapsed. That was...	Steffa	15	1086	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	New to group & Mom is Alcoholic (Preview) I've read a lot of threads & can relate some to my situation but I'm looking for guidance . My Mom is 72 year old active alcoholic with cirrohhis who has tried to get sober via AA but it doesn't last. I have one sibling who lives 3 states away & pretty much has nothing to do with her. My husbands job br...	Fullcup	11	803	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Encouragement needed (Preview) I went to my first al-anon meeting yesterday. My AH thinks it was a support group for parents of special needs children. When I came home he asked how it went. I told him how much I liked it and how I wanted to start going every Sunday and Monday. He was totally on board, at first. Then he responded, what abou...	vlia1029	5	520	Apr 28, 2015 by Jerry F
	Started feeling overwhelmed, so here I am! (Preview) My intention for today was to be gentle with myself. Then, I went to work and got to deal with a few issues, went to my intake appointment with a counselor who was really pushing me to do and commit to more than I felt I was able to do, got back to work and helped clean out the kitchen, returned to my office to...	Skorpi	5	742	Apr 28, 2015 by Truth
	Al Anon widow of alcoholic (Preview) Been away from Al anon a long time; now I'm back. My life has become unmanageable. My alcoholic husband who was in recovery died of cancer 3.5 years ago and I am lost. I am back to find myself as I feel as though I was buried along with my husband.	mobius	14	4141	Apr 28, 2015 by Mike B
	resentful (Preview) It's been a while since I've been on the board or to a meeting and need to get to one asap. It's also been about 6 months since AH and I have lived together. I have already grown so far apart from him especially with all the recent events. But still I can't let him go and I don't know what I'm holding to. A couple...	4myboys	10	2797	Apr 28, 2015 by Hillyard
	Hope For Today Apr 28 (Preview) Morning Everyone: Today's reading in Hope for Today is about the difference between Step 11, to pray "only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out" and the praying for God to allow our own wants and what we think we need, through OUR will, to be carried out. This is a gr...	yanksfan51	2	402	Apr 28, 2015 by hotrod
	stinking thinking (Preview) Well it's been almost a month since the kids and I moved out. in so many ways it's better living on my own than with AH and I don't regret the choice BUT he hasn't said a word to me about anything besides when he sees the kids. No I miss you, I wish you'd move back, nothing. Like he could care less, just as long a...	Kerrymom	3	825	Apr 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	New to Al-Anon, not to alcoholism (Preview) I live in a very urban area so I have no excuse for not finding a face to face meeting, but I'm a little lost as to which one I should start with, as they often have different "titles". My son is 24 and an alcoholic. He just finished a 30-day program for the 2nd time in his life and is entering a 90-da...	aymees	9	692	Apr 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	new and scared (Preview) I havent got any guidebooks or found any meetings yet and really want to understand what the steps are and the ideas surrounding them so i can quit being angry. I know sometimes i get angry because if i dont i will break down and cry and i just dont have the time! I also care for my aging mother who is also drug...	kelllkelll	8	692	Apr 27, 2015 by Skorpi
	Meth (Preview) I have a young cousin. She is the prettiest, funniest, most adorable person that ever walked the earth. She is also about 12 years younger than me and a super-smart-ass. Did I mention gorgeous. She sent me a message tonight, to tell me she feels angry, I am the only person in the family she trusts, she is a...	missmeliss	13	1374	Apr 27, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	What books?! (Preview) Laurabobaura mentioned picking up books off her shelf can someone help me by telling me what books i should start with, can get from library, or when i can afford or find a meeting. I am dealing with meth and heroin addicted daughter, with a child, and an aging, addicted mother. Thank you.	kelllkelll	7	712	Apr 27, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	I can only ever start from now. (Preview) I saw this little parable today and it really spoke to me. It was just posted anon on facebook so I can't quote a source. "One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the we...	missmeliss	4	785	Apr 27, 2015 by Breakingfree
	ODAT Reading 4-26 (Preview) The ODAT reading for today, April 26, asks the question:' What do I want. Al-Anon to do for me?". It points out that this program is a powerful tool for those of us who are brave enough to acknowledge our faults with courage and honesty. Al-Anon ask us to look at our good and bad qualities so that we ca...	hotrod	4	630	Apr 26, 2015 by serenity47
	Upcoming divorce (Preview) Divorce depression, grief, recovery and trauma are putting me on edge and i am not feeling very centered or emotionally stable. I will get thru this, only three more weeks before the divorce. God is holding my hand. May15 th is the court date we still have no financial agreement and might need the judg...	Mirandac	14	800	Apr 26, 2015 by Kerrymom
	Tradition 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60093481/alanon-tradition-7/	hotrod	0	877	Apr 26, 2015 by hotrod
	I could be wrong..... (Preview) I was looking at pinkchip's profile, was gonna ask if the parrot was his and glanced at his whiteboard messages, then over to Jerry's whiteboard to see what else was written on the subject of saying "maybe I'm wrong". Interesting, and something I'm not very good at, considering that my tak...	likemyheart	4	639	Apr 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Tiny beautiful things. (Preview) I have a friend that lives in America that I met via an al-anon type group on the internet and we have become pretty close, "soul sisters" we say. Just before, as I sat in my room in the middle of the night huddled by my heater, she told me it is morning over there and she is going outside to plant su...	missmeliss	6	642	Apr 26, 2015 by pinkchip
	Accepting the things I cannot change... (Preview) I can see the progress in myself thanks to this program tonight. One year ago my step daughter revealed she had bee cutting herself. Arms, legs - her beautiful 14 yo baby skin scabbed over from self harm. I immediately got into "fixer" mode. AH is her father, and without tools, verbiage...	LedfootJenny	9	810	Apr 26, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	ODAT Reading 4-25 (Preview) The O D A T reading for April 25 speaks about alcoholism being a disease and only the alcoholic can set himself free from this compulsion. It validates the point that we non alcoholics enter Al-Anon, believing that we should be able to correct the situation that is causing us so much suffering. We fi...	hotrod	3	605	Apr 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Just saying hi (Preview) Good morning--I'm new here, altho not new to Alanon. I've been active in an online alcoholism/addiction forum for over 2 years and am endlessly grateful for the ES&H I've been privileged to receive there. Recently the site underwent a revision and now has a very commercial feel to it. There a...	honeypig	10	742	Apr 25, 2015 by ntd2001
	Good News ... Not so good News (Preview) Work is going well ... Finally pushing through our two year project. My mom is staying with us. My son is excited to have grandma with us. She has been helping a great deal and it is appreciated. I have made it to the gym and my house is just about fixed. The not so good news ex-A quit paying child support. I...	Truth	2	647	Apr 25, 2015 by missmeliss
	Anxiety (Preview) I'm having some anxiety issues there is something to be said about not knowing how you feel about something .. lol. I didn't know it was anxiety and I was ok with that. Now I'm having nausea in the AM and waking up in the middle of the night. I have had a couple of nightmares. Needless to say I have court c...	SerenityRUS	9	2488	Apr 25, 2015 by Wisdom67
	It works...it really works! (Preview) I might be a little more hard-headed than most, I'm not sure. I have been taking steps forward and then backwards, totally on the merry go round of craziness that is living with a very active A. (the getting disappointed time and time again, getting angry at the lack of caring, the sneaking around, the b...	Fairlee	5	627	Apr 25, 2015 by pinkchip
	What have you done for you lately? (Preview) Today I am planning on meeting a couple girlfriends for breakfast then we will walk our dogs as long as the rain holds off. I don't get many lazy days off and well I am going to enjoy it, but when I get back I have plenty of homework and studying to get at, but I find if I fit in the things I love to do I am more prod...	Breakingfree	14	663	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Things I have learned so far..... (Preview) My AH went to a bunch of meetings this week and was doing great since all the drama last Friday. He bought a new car last night and went to go pick it up and then was going to come home so we could get ice cream with the kids. I could tell when he was putting their car seats in the car that he had drank something. He...	Jazzie18	2	547	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	anxiety for the weekend (Preview) So the weekend is coming up and i have to work, my brother will most likely be home with nothing to occupy his time with as there will be no classes. Im worried that he is gonna to go get drunk and come home smashed again. Which i know i shouldn't but how do i keep the focus on me and my work?	mybrotherskeeper	7	645	Apr 25, 2015 by mybrotherskeeper
	beating myself up! (Preview) This has been another rough month for me.It has been extremely stressful and I am feeling exhausted.I had some extra money at the first of the month and while I was paying my rent I decided to go ahead and pay all the bills since I had another check coming in a few days.I felt very good about getting all the...	mjferg	3	634	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Use it or lose it. (Preview) Funny how quickly things turn sour when I drop my program. I've not been actively doing anything alanon for weeks now, don't know where my readers are, no meetings, no daily anythings. Not on purpose, I've just let it slide. And it shows. I've been quietly seething over my ex and his wife and their horr...	missmeliss	5	677	Apr 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	Weekend (Preview) Everyone have a happy weekend and a safe one and I pray you all have a peaceful weekend	Wisdom67	4	506	Apr 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	How do I help my AH in early attempt at sobriety? (Preview) I think my AH has finally hit his bottom and Im afraid for him because he's going to attempt going cold turkey after years of hard drinking with only the help of one AA meeting a day. He wants to do detox but with bills pilling up he cant afford to do inpatient. I told him I understood his concerns about finan...	Hopefull15	18	764	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Step One ... (Preview) is a HUGE one. every time I think I have it, I am reminded that I do not. My wife started voluntary treatment on Monday. A more real way to say that is that my wife started on Monday to jump through the hoops she thinks she needs in order to avoid a harsher sentence for her third DUI. I would actually say "...	Skorpi	7	954	Apr 24, 2015 by ntd2001
	New to the forums (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is Laura and I just picked my books up off the shelf for the first time in almost a year. I went to Al-Anon meetings 1-2 times a week for almost a year, then was forced to start working third shift. Sleep just always won over anything else. I left that job months ago, yet I haven't been bac...	laurabobaura	11	674	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Annoyed (Preview) So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself...	Flower49	6	599	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	ODAT 4-24 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 24 speaks about entering Al-Anon and learning a new way of looking at the world and thereby changing our lives. It discusses the thought, that we must guard against judging others by our standards, and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can improve our own standards...	hotrod	2	575	Apr 24, 2015 by Debb
	Verbal abuse or am I exaggerating? (Preview) I often ask my adult son to turn the lights off if he is not using them, to save me money. It gets on his nerves and I have heard that when someone says something more than once it becomes controlling. So I have tried to hold off saying it so often, but then I wonder how much of it is me walking on egg shells to sav...	scoob09	6	761	Apr 24, 2015 by honeypig
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.