Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Kerrymom · Kerrymom

Well it's been almost a month since the kids and I moved out. in so many ways it's better living on my own than with AH and I don't regret the choice BUT he hasn't said a word to me about anything besides when he sees the kids. No I miss you, I wish you'd move back, nothing. Like he could care less, just as long a...

aymees · aymees

I live in a very urban area so I have no excuse for not finding a face to face meeting, but I'm a little lost as to which one I should start with, as they often have different "titles". My son is 24 and an alcoholic. He just finished a 30-day program for the 2nd time in his life and is entering a 90-da...

kelllkelll · kelllkelll

I havent got any guidebooks or found any meetings yet and really want to understand what the steps are and the ideas surrounding them so i can quit being angry. I know sometimes i get angry because if i dont i will break down and cry and i just dont have the time! I also care for my aging mother who is also drug...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a young cousin. She is the prettiest, funniest, most adorable person that ever walked the earth. She is also about 12 years younger than me and a super-smart-ass. Did I mention gorgeous. She sent me a message tonight, to tell me she feels angry, I am the only person in the family she trusts, she is a...

kelllkelll · kelllkelll

Laurabobaura mentioned picking up books off her shelf can someone help me by telling me what books i should start with, can get from library, or when i can afford or find a meeting. I am dealing with meth and heroin addicted daughter, with a child, and an aging, addicted mother. Thank you.

missmeliss · missmeliss

I saw this little parable today and it really spoke to me. It was just posted anon on facebook so I can't quote a source. "One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the we...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for today, April 26, asks the question:' What do I want. Al-Anon to do for me?". It points out that this program is a powerful tool for those of us who are brave enough to acknowledge our faults with courage and honesty. Al-Anon ask us to look at our good and bad qualities so that we ca...

Mirandac · Mirandac

Divorce depression, grief, recovery and trauma are putting me on edge and i am not feeling very centered or emotionally stable. I will get thru this, only three more weeks before the divorce. God is holding my hand. May15 th is the court date we still have no financial agreement and might need the judg...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60093481/alanon-tradition-7/

likemyheart · likemyheart

I was looking at pinkchip's profile, was gonna ask if the parrot was his and glanced at his whiteboard messages, then over to Jerry's whiteboard to see what else was written on the subject of saying "maybe I'm wrong". Interesting, and something I'm not very good at, considering that my tak...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have a friend that lives in America that I met via an al-anon type group on the internet and we have become pretty close, "soul sisters" we say. Just before, as I sat in my room in the middle of the night huddled by my heater, she told me it is morning over there and she is going outside to plant su...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

I can see the progress in myself thanks to this program tonight. One year ago my step daughter revealed she had bee cutting herself. Arms, legs - her beautiful 14 yo baby skin scabbed over from self harm. I immediately got into "fixer" mode. AH is her father, and without tools, verbiage...

hotrod · hotrod

The O D A T reading for April 25 speaks about alcoholism being a disease and only the alcoholic can set himself free from this compulsion. It validates the point that we non alcoholics enter Al-Anon, believing that we should be able to correct the situation that is causing us so much suffering. We fi...

honeypig · honeypig

Good morning--I'm new here, altho not new to Alanon. I've been active in an online alcoholism/addiction forum for over 2 years and am endlessly grateful for the ES&H I've been privileged to receive there. Recently the site underwent a revision and now has a very commercial feel to it. There a...

Truth · Truth

Work is going well ... Finally pushing through our two year project. My mom is staying with us. My son is excited to have grandma with us. She has been helping a great deal and it is appreciated. I have made it to the gym and my house is just about fixed. The not so good news ex-A quit paying child support. I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm having some anxiety issues there is something to be said about not knowing how you feel about something .. lol. I didn't know it was anxiety and I was ok with that. Now I'm having nausea in the AM and waking up in the middle of the night. I have had a couple of nightmares. Needless to say I have court c...

Fairlee · Fairlee

I might be a little more hard-headed than most, I'm not sure. I have been taking steps forward and then backwards, totally on the merry go round of craziness that is living with a very active A. (the getting disappointed time and time again, getting angry at the lack of caring, the sneaking around, the b...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Today I am planning on meeting a couple girlfriends for breakfast then we will walk our dogs as long as the rain holds off. I don't get many lazy days off and well I am going to enjoy it, but when I get back I have plenty of homework and studying to get at, but I find if I fit in the things I love to do I am more prod...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My AH went to a bunch of meetings this week and was doing great since all the drama last Friday. He bought a new car last night and went to go pick it up and then was going to come home so we could get ice cream with the kids. I could tell when he was putting their car seats in the car that he had drank something. He...

mybrotherskeeper · mybrotherskeeper

So the weekend is coming up and i have to work, my brother will most likely be home with nothing to occupy his time with as there will be no classes. Im worried that he is gonna to go get drunk and come home smashed again. Which i know i shouldn't but how do i keep the focus on me and my work?

mjferg · mjferg

This has been another rough month for me.It has been extremely stressful and I am feeling exhausted.I had some extra money at the first of the month and while I was paying my rent I decided to go ahead and pay all the bills since I had another check coming in a few days.I felt very good about getting all the...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Funny how quickly things turn sour when I drop my program. I've not been actively doing anything alanon for weeks now, don't know where my readers are, no meetings, no daily anythings. Not on purpose, I've just let it slide. And it shows. I've been quietly seething over my ex and his wife and their horr...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Everyone have a happy weekend and a safe one and I pray you all have a peaceful weekend

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

I think my AH has finally hit his bottom and Im afraid for him because he's going to attempt going cold turkey after years of hard drinking with only the help of one AA meeting a day. He wants to do detox but with bills pilling up he cant afford to do inpatient. I told him I understood his concerns about finan...

Skorpi · Skorpi

is a HUGE one. every time I think I have it, I am reminded that I do not. My wife started voluntary treatment on Monday. A more real way to say that is that my wife started on Monday to jump through the hoops she thinks she needs in order to avoid a harsher sentence for her third DUI. I would actually say "...

laurabobaura · laurabobaura

Hi everyone, my name is Laura and I just picked my books up off the shelf for the first time in almost a year. I went to Al-Anon meetings 1-2 times a week for almost a year, then was forced to start working third shift. Sleep just always won over anything else. I left that job months ago, yet I haven't been bac...

Flower49 · Flower49

So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 24 speaks about entering Al-Anon and learning a new way of looking at the world and thereby changing our lives. It discusses the thought, that we must guard against judging others by our standards, and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can improve our own standards...

scoob09 · scoob09

I often ask my adult son to turn the lights off if he is not using them, to save me money. It gets on his nerves and I have heard that when someone says something more than once it becomes controlling. So I have tried to hold off saying it so often, but then I wonder how much of it is me walking on egg shells to sav...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I have just finished my final very large assignment which is in fact my share of a 4 person group presentation, due to be delivered tomorrow morning at 11.30am. We are the final group to give their presentation and so far the others have been very expansive, well researched and obviously well prepared...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

Hello everyone. I am so thankful you are all here and I can type a topic in the search bar and see all the previous posts with such wonderful wisdom, hope and encouragement. I have been going to Al-Anon meetings on my lunch hour once a week since March 10th. Tonight I am adding a second meeting after wor...

mybrotherskeeper · mybrotherskeeper

Hi i am a new member at the suggestion of my mom to try it out and see if it helps me. First let me say i have just realized that at the age of 17 i was an alcoholic at the time i didn't think i was a couple years later i hit rock bottom and decided a change was in order. I meet my boyfriend online and had talked to him f...

kspec85 · kspec85

Can I just say that out of everything I've learned so far, this concept or slogan or whatever just makes me laugh at myself. I'm not sure what I find so amusing but I have found myself repeating this in my internal dialogue and giggling about my prior futile attempts at controlling people, places and thi...

shealah · shealah

My fiancee is drinming again and telling me how I have ruined his life. I am trying to stay away from him...any tips ln how you cope?

missmeliss · missmeliss

Oh dear. I didnt have to be anywhere today and daughter is away at camp, so I decided to sleep late and then read the day away. Heaven right? I thought it would be just what I need to destress and get my happy back. So I opened the curtains to let the sun in, lay down on my bed and opened my book and next door star...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I worry I have passed on the trait of perfectionism to both of my daughters. Since I am raising them alone and see they have taken on some of my traits, it bothers me when they take them to the extreme. I know some of it is them and they have to work through it themselves, but in all the years I lived with my exAH...

el-cee · el-cee

Today i am grateful for many many things.... Having a higher power in my life, listening to me, with me when i tune in. Just for today my kids are all working, happy and healthy. Weight loss, ive lost 7lb in 4 days on a low carb diet, feel great. Gorgeous weather and hillwalking. Thanks for reading, have a g...

hulahoop24 · hulahoop24

I attended my first meeting last night. It was very informative but to me, sad. I plan on attending at least 6 meetings, I had a terrible sense of deja vu from attending my first meeting when I was married to my ex. That marriage ended after I saw women there in their 60's still dealing with the disease.....

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for April 23 speaks about the use of sarcasm. It points out that using the negative destructive tool of sarcasm usually relieves our pent-up feelings and gives us a certain satisfaction. Regardless of this is important to note that the word " sarcasm" comes from the Gree...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Hi. I was getting really tired of focusing so much on my AH ..so I took a break from posting. So...my house is supposed to be sold at auction May 1. Yikes. AH is filing bankruptcy. I went to the lawyer with him, but I decided not to file bankruptcy and just let the house go. He thinks he can save it...so let him...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I left work headed to my first Al-Anon meeting nervous as hell, but determined. It was a 20 minute walk with whipping winds, 37 degrees. I got to the church, found the directory, saw Al-Anon was being held in the 3rd floor conference room. Headed up in the elevator wanting so bad to just turn around and l...

gabigail · gabigail

I realized tonight that I have a real problem that kinda smacked me in the face, kinda looking at it from the inside out. We had a family emergency where we had to go to the ER for my son for a broken arm. And you know how long that takes. And we are sitting and waiting, trying to settle my son down and my nerves,...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for April 22 speaks about having the courage to search out our defects, our wrongs and our shortcomings, as is discussed in Step four and five. The reading stresses the importance of truly concentrating on the first three steps before we proceed so that we can develop a spiritual f...

Mike B · Mike B

"When I begin to worry about things I can do nothing about, I tell myself to accept what you can't change. Often I've used the ideas in the Serenity Prayer as a trigger for relinquishing my need to control and as a reminder to take action when some discontentment can be remedied."

Jen61 · Jen61

I am finding a lot of things in my life very difficult. I have come a long way but we always need to listen and learn for us to continue to get better.My brother in law came and stayed with us for a couple of days. I am not one who likes having overnight company but I put on my positive face and thought to mysel...

missmeliss · missmeliss

I can't say it's the easiest week I've ever had. But.... Daughter had her rather public meltdown. But through it we are closer, and I have a much clearer picture of what she needs from me right now. She's been happy, I have had a chance to spoil her and mother her relentlessly, in a good way and we have some g...

amys · amys

I am very new to this (15 minutes to be exact) but one of the hardest things that I am experiencing with my alcoholic is the extreme selfishness. "I want to do this right now. I don't want to do this right now. I am mad so I will ignore you now. I am frustrated so I am going to leave the house and talk to...

Runnergirl · Runnergirl

Hello, I am new to this and am feeling desperate and heart broken. I am in love with an AH who has been in recovery for about 8 months. His problem was so serious that he actually died from it twice and was revived. When we met he had been sober for only 3 months. I guess I was pretty clueless because I act...

Carrie B · Carrie B

Sunday my alcoholic left against medical advice and came home. Everything was fine for that day, we took a walk in the park and then we just sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Sometimes we like to stroll through our neighborhood and pick apart the houses until we come up with an idea for our dream ho...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Love; Fear; Focusing on Ourselves The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6...

drivingmecrazy · drivingmecrazy

Hi, im new to this and not to sure how it works,. from reading so many stories it hard to believe that so many people are in the same situation as me. My husband has always liked a drink on social occasions the same as myself, but over the last 5-6 years it got more and more. He tries to hide it and tells lies a...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I received news today from one of my cousins that my youngest cousin had shown up on my parents' doorstep at 3 in the morning after having just gotten out of the mental ward and picking up a DUI. Some background: I have stated that I had an alcoholic uncle before. I also have a couple alcoholic cousins...

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

So I kicked my AH out of the house last night. Thinking back I should have waited until this morning.. at least that is what one of my al anon friends had mentioned but I just couldn't do it anymore. I had told him what my limit was and he crossed the line. He had taken the day off to look for cars and was sup...

Skorpi · Skorpi

And, I just have to get this off my chest. My wife is home today, said she would take care of some things, give the dogs some attention. Great. Well, she decided to "test" one of our dogs to see if he would come back inside if she let him out to potty without a leash. First time, he came back. Seco...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

So yesterday my AH proclaimed for the 9,578,559th time that he was going to stop drinking. I no longer listen to any of those promises (even though deep down, I wish one day it will be for real). He came home from work with the typical complaints about EVERYTHING. He works for his family, so there are mul...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Is there sight on here dealing and coping with mental illness due to steer dealing with sobriety .

Jozie · Jozie

That Moment when you Know your Heading tords the Pity Pot, Yet Still Keep Moving Forward... I Truly have No Reason, I Had an Amazing Weekend with Tons of Wonderful God Filled Moments, Road My Harley with a Group of Peeps I Never Met, Shared Laughs with Strangers, Seen Gods work in Action along a Beautifu...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading mentions that one sign of maturity is the ability to listen to and consider the opinions of others. This one resonates with me as although I have considered myself to be an openminded person, I also have had that deep down feeling that it was my viewpoint which w...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

It's been awhile since I've been on here. I would call my AH a high functioning alcoholic,,he holds good job and drinks heavily on the weekends. Well, now "weekends" include Thursday nights. He's a different person than the sober one, I miss the sober one. I cannot talk to him about how...

watchdog1999 · watchdog1999

My husband recently took up smoking marijuana (in his mind/manipulation) to reduce the drinking and the effects it has on our marriage and our children. LOL WHAT??? I'm trying to find the humor in this because it is just so ridiculous I can't even begin to explain my thought processes here. Of course,...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	stinking thinking (Preview) Well it's been almost a month since the kids and I moved out. in so many ways it's better living on my own than with AH and I don't regret the choice BUT he hasn't said a word to me about anything besides when he sees the kids. No I miss you, I wish you'd move back, nothing. Like he could care less, just as long a...	Kerrymom	3	745	Apr 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	New to Al-Anon, not to alcoholism (Preview) I live in a very urban area so I have no excuse for not finding a face to face meeting, but I'm a little lost as to which one I should start with, as they often have different "titles". My son is 24 and an alcoholic. He just finished a 30-day program for the 2nd time in his life and is entering a 90-da...	aymees	9	611	Apr 27, 2015 by Jerry F
	new and scared (Preview) I havent got any guidebooks or found any meetings yet and really want to understand what the steps are and the ideas surrounding them so i can quit being angry. I know sometimes i get angry because if i dont i will break down and cry and i just dont have the time! I also care for my aging mother who is also drug...	kelllkelll	8	615	Apr 27, 2015 by Skorpi
	Meth (Preview) I have a young cousin. She is the prettiest, funniest, most adorable person that ever walked the earth. She is also about 12 years younger than me and a super-smart-ass. Did I mention gorgeous. She sent me a message tonight, to tell me she feels angry, I am the only person in the family she trusts, she is a...	missmeliss	13	1244	Apr 27, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	What books?! (Preview) Laurabobaura mentioned picking up books off her shelf can someone help me by telling me what books i should start with, can get from library, or when i can afford or find a meeting. I am dealing with meth and heroin addicted daughter, with a child, and an aging, addicted mother. Thank you.	kelllkelll	7	627	Apr 27, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	I can only ever start from now. (Preview) I saw this little parable today and it really spoke to me. It was just posted anon on facebook so I can't quote a source. "One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the we...	missmeliss	4	692	Apr 27, 2015 by Breakingfree
	ODAT Reading 4-26 (Preview) The ODAT reading for today, April 26, asks the question:' What do I want. Al-Anon to do for me?". It points out that this program is a powerful tool for those of us who are brave enough to acknowledge our faults with courage and honesty. Al-Anon ask us to look at our good and bad qualities so that we ca...	hotrod	4	551	Apr 26, 2015 by serenity47
	Upcoming divorce (Preview) Divorce depression, grief, recovery and trauma are putting me on edge and i am not feeling very centered or emotionally stable. I will get thru this, only three more weeks before the divorce. God is holding my hand. May15 th is the court date we still have no financial agreement and might need the judg...	Mirandac	14	705	Apr 26, 2015 by Kerrymom
	Tradition 7 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60093481/alanon-tradition-7/	hotrod	0	789	Apr 26, 2015 by hotrod
	I could be wrong..... (Preview) I was looking at pinkchip's profile, was gonna ask if the parrot was his and glanced at his whiteboard messages, then over to Jerry's whiteboard to see what else was written on the subject of saying "maybe I'm wrong". Interesting, and something I'm not very good at, considering that my tak...	likemyheart	4	555	Apr 26, 2015 by hotrod
	Tiny beautiful things. (Preview) I have a friend that lives in America that I met via an al-anon type group on the internet and we have become pretty close, "soul sisters" we say. Just before, as I sat in my room in the middle of the night huddled by my heater, she told me it is morning over there and she is going outside to plant su...	missmeliss	6	548	Apr 26, 2015 by pinkchip
	Accepting the things I cannot change... (Preview) I can see the progress in myself thanks to this program tonight. One year ago my step daughter revealed she had bee cutting herself. Arms, legs - her beautiful 14 yo baby skin scabbed over from self harm. I immediately got into "fixer" mode. AH is her father, and without tools, verbiage...	LedfootJenny	9	719	Apr 26, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	ODAT Reading 4-25 (Preview) The O D A T reading for April 25 speaks about alcoholism being a disease and only the alcoholic can set himself free from this compulsion. It validates the point that we non alcoholics enter Al-Anon, believing that we should be able to correct the situation that is causing us so much suffering. We fi...	hotrod	3	521	Apr 25, 2015 by hotrod
	Just saying hi (Preview) Good morning--I'm new here, altho not new to Alanon. I've been active in an online alcoholism/addiction forum for over 2 years and am endlessly grateful for the ES&H I've been privileged to receive there. Recently the site underwent a revision and now has a very commercial feel to it. There a...	honeypig	10	663	Apr 25, 2015 by ntd2001
	Good News ... Not so good News (Preview) Work is going well ... Finally pushing through our two year project. My mom is staying with us. My son is excited to have grandma with us. She has been helping a great deal and it is appreciated. I have made it to the gym and my house is just about fixed. The not so good news ex-A quit paying child support. I...	Truth	2	556	Apr 25, 2015 by missmeliss
	Anxiety (Preview) I'm having some anxiety issues there is something to be said about not knowing how you feel about something .. lol. I didn't know it was anxiety and I was ok with that. Now I'm having nausea in the AM and waking up in the middle of the night. I have had a couple of nightmares. Needless to say I have court c...	SerenityRUS	9	2403	Apr 25, 2015 by Wisdom67
	It works...it really works! (Preview) I might be a little more hard-headed than most, I'm not sure. I have been taking steps forward and then backwards, totally on the merry go round of craziness that is living with a very active A. (the getting disappointed time and time again, getting angry at the lack of caring, the sneaking around, the b...	Fairlee	5	544	Apr 25, 2015 by pinkchip
	What have you done for you lately? (Preview) Today I am planning on meeting a couple girlfriends for breakfast then we will walk our dogs as long as the rain holds off. I don't get many lazy days off and well I am going to enjoy it, but when I get back I have plenty of homework and studying to get at, but I find if I fit in the things I love to do I am more prod...	Breakingfree	14	581	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Things I have learned so far..... (Preview) My AH went to a bunch of meetings this week and was doing great since all the drama last Friday. He bought a new car last night and went to go pick it up and then was going to come home so we could get ice cream with the kids. I could tell when he was putting their car seats in the car that he had drank something. He...	Jazzie18	2	456	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	anxiety for the weekend (Preview) So the weekend is coming up and i have to work, my brother will most likely be home with nothing to occupy his time with as there will be no classes. Im worried that he is gonna to go get drunk and come home smashed again. Which i know i shouldn't but how do i keep the focus on me and my work?	mybrotherskeeper	7	553	Apr 25, 2015 by mybrotherskeeper
	beating myself up! (Preview) This has been another rough month for me.It has been extremely stressful and I am feeling exhausted.I had some extra money at the first of the month and while I was paying my rent I decided to go ahead and pay all the bills since I had another check coming in a few days.I felt very good about getting all the...	mjferg	3	559	Apr 25, 2015 by el-cee
	Use it or lose it. (Preview) Funny how quickly things turn sour when I drop my program. I've not been actively doing anything alanon for weeks now, don't know where my readers are, no meetings, no daily anythings. Not on purpose, I've just let it slide. And it shows. I've been quietly seething over my ex and his wife and their horr...	missmeliss	5	593	Apr 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	Weekend (Preview) Everyone have a happy weekend and a safe one and I pray you all have a peaceful weekend	Wisdom67	4	417	Apr 24, 2015 by Skorpi
	How do I help my AH in early attempt at sobriety? (Preview) I think my AH has finally hit his bottom and Im afraid for him because he's going to attempt going cold turkey after years of hard drinking with only the help of one AA meeting a day. He wants to do detox but with bills pilling up he cant afford to do inpatient. I told him I understood his concerns about finan...	Hopefull15	18	673	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Step One ... (Preview) is a HUGE one. every time I think I have it, I am reminded that I do not. My wife started voluntary treatment on Monday. A more real way to say that is that my wife started on Monday to jump through the hoops she thinks she needs in order to avoid a harsher sentence for her third DUI. I would actually say "...	Skorpi	7	868	Apr 24, 2015 by ntd2001
	New to the forums (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is Laura and I just picked my books up off the shelf for the first time in almost a year. I went to Al-Anon meetings 1-2 times a week for almost a year, then was forced to start working third shift. Sleep just always won over anything else. I left that job months ago, yet I haven't been bac...	laurabobaura	11	591	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	Annoyed (Preview) So as many of you know I am a remote employee meaning I work from home. One of the toughest things to do is work while your spouse is home laying in bed sleeping all day It makes me insane. He called in sick to work which is the fourth time since he has been home over these three months. I have been asking myself...	Flower49	6	513	Apr 24, 2015 by Fairlee
	ODAT 4-24 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 24 speaks about entering Al-Anon and learning a new way of looking at the world and thereby changing our lives. It discusses the thought, that we must guard against judging others by our standards, and that by keeping the focus on ourselves we can improve our own standards...	hotrod	2	491	Apr 24, 2015 by Debb
	Verbal abuse or am I exaggerating? (Preview) I often ask my adult son to turn the lights off if he is not using them, to save me money. It gets on his nerves and I have heard that when someone says something more than once it becomes controlling. So I have tried to hold off saying it so often, but then I wonder how much of it is me walking on egg shells to sav...	scoob09	6	680	Apr 24, 2015 by honeypig
	In all our affairs.... (Preview) I have just finished my final very large assignment which is in fact my share of a 4 person group presentation, due to be delivered tomorrow morning at 11.30am. We are the final group to give their presentation and so far the others have been very expansive, well researched and obviously well prepared...	missmeliss	9	645	Apr 24, 2015 by honeypig
	I know going to the meeting is right but.... (Preview) Hello everyone. I am so thankful you are all here and I can type a topic in the search bar and see all the previous posts with such wonderful wisdom, hope and encouragement. I have been going to Al-Anon meetings on my lunch hour once a week since March 10th. Tonight I am adding a second meeting after wor...	Bethany66	9	615	Apr 24, 2015 by CoopsMom
	how do i detach with love when i feel like i cant detach (Preview) Hi i am a new member at the suggestion of my mom to try it out and see if it helps me. First let me say i have just realized that at the age of 17 i was an alcoholic at the time i didn't think i was a couple years later i hit rock bottom and decided a change was in order. I meet my boyfriend online and had talked to him f...	mybrotherskeeper	12	816	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	He has a higher power and it's not me! (Preview) Can I just say that out of everything I've learned so far, this concept or slogan or whatever just makes me laugh at myself. I'm not sure what I find so amusing but I have found myself repeating this in my internal dialogue and giggling about my prior futile attempts at controlling people, places and thi...	kspec85	3	495	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Coping... (Preview) My fiancee is drinming again and telling me how I have ruined his life. I am trying to stay away from him...any tips ln how you cope?	shealah	3	401	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	My relaxing day. (Preview) Oh dear. I didnt have to be anywhere today and daughter is away at camp, so I decided to sleep late and then read the day away. Heaven right? I thought it would be just what I need to destress and get my happy back. So I opened the curtains to let the sun in, lay down on my bed and opened my book and next door star...	missmeliss	7	615	Apr 24, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Perfectionism (Preview) I worry I have passed on the trait of perfectionism to both of my daughters. Since I am raising them alone and see they have taken on some of my traits, it bothers me when they take them to the extreme. I know some of it is them and they have to work through it themselves, but in all the years I lived with my exAH...	Breakingfree	4	521	Apr 24, 2015 by hotrod
	gratitude (Preview) Today i am grateful for many many things.... Having a higher power in my life, listening to me, with me when i tune in. Just for today my kids are all working, happy and healthy. Weight loss, ive lost 7lb in 4 days on a low carb diet, feel great. Gorgeous weather and hillwalking. Thanks for reading, have a g...	el-cee	3	436	Apr 24, 2015 by Mike B
	First Meeting (Preview) I attended my first meeting last night. It was very informative but to me, sad. I plan on attending at least 6 meetings, I had a terrible sense of deja vu from attending my first meeting when I was married to my ex. That marriage ended after I saw women there in their 60's still dealing with the disease.....	hulahoop24	9	745	Apr 24, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	C2C 4-23 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 23 speaks about the use of sarcasm. It points out that using the negative destructive tool of sarcasm usually relieves our pent-up feelings and gives us a certain satisfaction. Regardless of this is important to note that the word " sarcasm" comes from the Gree...	hotrod	3	482	Apr 24, 2015 by el-cee
	Hi everyone...update (Preview) Hi. I was getting really tired of focusing so much on my AH ..so I took a break from posting. So...my house is supposed to be sold at auction May 1. Yikes. AH is filing bankruptcy. I went to the lawyer with him, but I decided not to file bankruptcy and just let the house go. He thinks he can save it...so let him...	Newlife girl	5	550	Apr 23, 2015 by Newlife girl
	I tried...sigh (Preview) I left work headed to my first Al-Anon meeting nervous as hell, but determined. It was a 20 minute walk with whipping winds, 37 degrees. I got to the church, found the directory, saw Al-Anon was being held in the 3rd floor conference room. Headed up in the elevator wanting so bad to just turn around and l...	CoopsMom	10	606	Apr 23, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Dealing with resentment and moving past it (Preview) I realized tonight that I have a real problem that kinda smacked me in the face, kinda looking at it from the inside out. We had a family emergency where we had to go to the ER for my son for a broken arm. And you know how long that takes. And we are sitting and waiting, trying to settle my son down and my nerves,...	gabigail	4	2732	Apr 23, 2015 by Breakingfree
	C2C 4-22 (Preview) The C2C reading for April 22 speaks about having the courage to search out our defects, our wrongs and our shortcomings, as is discussed in Step four and five. The reading stresses the importance of truly concentrating on the first three steps before we proceed so that we can develop a spiritual f...	hotrod	6	728	Apr 22, 2015 by laurabobaura
	Action or Not (Preview) "When I begin to worry about things I can do nothing about, I tell myself to accept what you can't change. Often I've used the ideas in the Serenity Prayer as a trigger for relinquishing my need to control and as a reminder to take action when some discontentment can be remedied."	Mike B	2	467	Apr 22, 2015 by Skorpi
	Some difficult times........... (Preview) I am finding a lot of things in my life very difficult. I have come a long way but we always need to listen and learn for us to continue to get better.My brother in law came and stayed with us for a couple of days. I am not one who likes having overnight company but I put on my positive face and thought to mysel...	Jen61	18	1049	Apr 22, 2015 by Jen61
	But. (Preview) I can't say it's the easiest week I've ever had. But.... Daughter had her rather public meltdown. But through it we are closer, and I have a much clearer picture of what she needs from me right now. She's been happy, I have had a chance to spoil her and mother her relentlessly, in a good way and we have some g...	missmeliss	10	718	Apr 22, 2015 by Mirandac
	Selfish (Preview) I am very new to this (15 minutes to be exact) but one of the hardest things that I am experiencing with my alcoholic is the extreme selfishness. "I want to do this right now. I don't want to do this right now. I am mad so I will ignore you now. I am frustrated so I am going to leave the house and talk to...	amys	6	585	Apr 22, 2015 by amys
	boyfriend advice please (Preview) Hello, I am new to this and am feeling desperate and heart broken. I am in love with an AH who has been in recovery for about 8 months. His problem was so serious that he actually died from it twice and was revived. When we met he had been sober for only 3 months. I guess I was pretty clueless because I act...	Runnergirl	5	562	Apr 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	Codependency at it's finest (Preview) Sunday my alcoholic left against medical advice and came home. Everything was fine for that day, we took a walk in the park and then we just sat outside and enjoyed the weather. Sometimes we like to stroll through our neighborhood and pick apart the houses until we come up with an idea for our dream ho...	Carrie B	14	983	Apr 22, 2015 by pinkchip
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Love; Fear; Focusing on Ourselves The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6...	shimo	0	319	Apr 22, 2015 by shimo
	When does it stop? (Preview) Hi, im new to this and not to sure how it works,. from reading so many stories it hard to believe that so many people are in the same situation as me. My husband has always liked a drink on social occasions the same as myself, but over the last 5-6 years it got more and more. He tries to hide it and tells lies a...	drivingmecrazy	2	570	Apr 21, 2015 by drivingmecrazy
	Lecture to my parents (Preview) I received news today from one of my cousins that my youngest cousin had shown up on my parents' doorstep at 3 in the morning after having just gotten out of the mental ward and picking up a DUI. Some background: I have stated that I had an alcoholic uncle before. I also have a couple alcoholic cousins...	pinkchip	10	804	Apr 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Sick to my stomach (Preview) So I kicked my AH out of the house last night. Thinking back I should have waited until this morning.. at least that is what one of my al anon friends had mentioned but I just couldn't do it anymore. I had told him what my limit was and he crossed the line. He had taken the day off to look for cars and was sup...	Jazzie18	17	808	Apr 21, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	SO Angry (Preview) And, I just have to get this off my chest. My wife is home today, said she would take care of some things, give the dogs some attention. Great. Well, she decided to "test" one of our dogs to see if he would come back inside if she let him out to potty without a leash. First time, he came back. Seco...	Skorpi	23	802	Apr 21, 2015 by Tired-of-it
	Give him the info or leave it alone? (Preview) So yesterday my AH proclaimed for the 9,578,559th time that he was going to stop drinking. I no longer listen to any of those promises (even though deep down, I wish one day it will be for real). He came home from work with the typical complaints about EVERYTHING. He works for his family, so there are mul...	CoopsMom	8	588	Apr 21, 2015 by Tired-of-it
	need guidance (Preview) Is there sight on here dealing and coping with mental illness due to steer dealing with sobriety .	Wisdom67	10	723	Apr 21, 2015 by milkwood
	Pushing Thru... (Preview) That Moment when you Know your Heading tords the Pity Pot, Yet Still Keep Moving Forward... I Truly have No Reason, I Had an Amazing Weekend with Tons of Wonderful God Filled Moments, Road My Harley with a Group of Peeps I Never Met, Shared Laughs with Strangers, Seen Gods work in Action along a Beautifu...	Jozie	6	607	Apr 21, 2015 by Jozie
	Hope For Today April 21 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone: Today's reading mentions that one sign of maturity is the ability to listen to and consider the opinions of others. This one resonates with me as although I have considered myself to be an openminded person, I also have had that deep down feeling that it was my viewpoint which w...	yanksfan51	3	673	Apr 21, 2015 by yanksfan51
	How to talk about it when they won't (Preview) It's been awhile since I've been on here. I would call my AH a high functioning alcoholic,,he holds good job and drinks heavily on the weekends. Well, now "weekends" include Thursday nights. He's a different person than the sober one, I miss the sober one. I cannot talk to him about how...	Seahorse7	6	717	Apr 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
	When your AH takes on an additional addiction to combat the drinking (LOL) (Preview) My husband recently took up smoking marijuana (in his mind/manipulation) to reduce the drinking and the effects it has on our marriage and our children. LOL WHAT??? I'm trying to find the humor in this because it is just so ridiculous I can't even begin to explain my thought processes here. Of course,...	watchdog1999	12	650	Apr 21, 2015 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.