Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

texasgal · texasgal

As I go through my life. The only true friendships I have made are from people from the program. Just recently I have lost another friendship. They are not a part of alanon and don't understand why I go since I am divorced from my exAh. They lied to me yet again last night. Recently they have been lying abt w...

JukuVee · JukuVee

my A has apparently been smoking crack Too! He just dropped this bombshell on me today. I don't know how I could have been so blind as to not know. People even asked me if he had a drug problem and I said oh no he would never do that! I feel like such an idiot! I don't know why he told me this Now. It doesn't mak...

milkwood · milkwood

On instruction from our marriage counsellor I've just done a list of things that I appreciate about my husband. I think that my expectation was that this was meant to make me feel better about him and I started the list thinking 'oh darn, why do I have to spend time rooting around for good stuff?' By the e...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

AH is severely ill with his drinking and supposedly entering rehab soon. So my cousin called and sent some money and said to treat myself. I really realize now, after 1 1/2 yrs at ALANON that when i take my thoughts away from my AH, and put them on myself, I realized that I hadnt been addressing my panic/an...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 6 speaks about the slogan:":How important is it". The reading states that many of us obsess over something that might be irritating us in the moment , telling ourselves that this is a very important issue. .If we actually stopped and asked ourselves the qu...

Mistral · Mistral

Hi Everyone, I'd like to pick up some inspirational self-help books about setting/maintaining boundaries with my alcoholic boyfriend, detaching with love, and to stop obsessing over his behaviors. What have you all read that you drew inspiration from? Is there particular Al-Anon literature...

confused2015 · confused2015

So today is the first time my AH and I have really talked for a couple weeks. He left on Wednesday night, came home Thursday, after telling me he loved me, the kids, and didn't want to leave. I actually told him to leave. Anyhow, I know he loves us but I told him I cold not live like this anymore. So today w...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 5 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. The reading points out that many of us lists feelings as shortcomings and ask HP to lift our feelings of anger, fear and guilt, so we can look forward to a day of it would not have to feel this t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I'm soooo glad the week is over with .. LOL .. I'm good with never seeing last week again. I have felt very helpless with so many things that have been out of my control .. starting with a job .. having to deal with my mom who means well however if it wasn't for the kids I would rather be homeless. My sponsors...

mjferg · mjferg

I recently posted about my ex being found dead and today I am going to see his sister,we were close,she really liked me.I don't know all the details yet,but there may be a girlfriend involved so I want to decide if it would be appropriate to go to the funeral home or not,it doesn't seem real, I think I need s...

JukuVee · JukuVee

we are not legally married but we have been living together for 22 years. We bought a house together 1998. I paid the down payment but because at the time we were in love and were planning on getting married I gave him 20% ownership on the deed even though I didn't have to. That was dumb. Not only has he bitte...

scootypuffjunior · scootypuffjunior

I posted a few weeks ago about my step mother who was suffering from end stage liver disease. She died early this morning while the nurses were bathing her. She stopped breathing, and they did not attempt to resuscitate her due to a DNR order her next of kin had signed when all of this started. I didn'...

Cammi45 · Cammi45

I am new here. I have been trying to find the courage to look for an online group for a very long time now. I grew up in an alcoholic home. My father found sobriety, which saved our family. My sister battled alcoholism and found AA, which has helped to save her own family. I married a man whom I love dear...

nightowl · nightowl

Hi everyone. Let me start off by saying: I am sorry if my post is breaking any message board rules in any way. Just about 7 hours ago my world kind of came crashing down (again) when my (recovering) ABF was discovered drinking again by one of our mutual friends. I didn't know where to turn, so here I am now. ...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My beautiful wonderful sponsor is battling some big health issues at the moment. She's been through so much and ironically takes such good care of herself that I'm totally blown away by all of this. Could you please lift her up in prayer .. she is such a warrior goddess that I just can see her beating th...

hotrod · hotrod

Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60818767/alanon-step-4-9-15/Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together

gabigail · gabigail

HI everyone! Well, it's fall and my life is crazy again with school, working two jobs, and trying to juggle everything. It's been a crazy August and I haven't been working on myself as much as I'm getting back into my busy mode. I am getting little or no help with my A, as has been the case, even though he...

chasingstars · chasingstars

Never did I feel I would be in this position but here we are... After a really nasty custody battle we have found out that my husbands ex wife has been on methadone for over a year and a half after we found her passed out in her car outside of my husbands work. There was no reasoning afterwards and since we ha...

Mandy22 · Mandy22

Hello everyone! I am the girlfriend to a sober alcoholic. He was sober for 5 years when we met, then relapsed a year into our relationship. He's now been sober since July 28, 2014 but last week I found out that he's also a sex addict. I was absolutely heartbroken. I'm feeling betrayed, sad, depress...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am still hanging in. Less than two weeks to go. I am still anxious a bit but I know it will be alright. I am so grateful for all of you & your support. A lot of people have been praying for me & I really appreciate it. Sometimes I want to scream or cry or whatever I am feeling at the moment. My emotions a...

mjferg · mjferg

I just received the news I have been dreading,My ex was found dead today.I am kind of in shock right now,not sure what I am feeling.They are taking him for an autopsy,possible overdose.Of course I feel overwhelming sadness right now,also, I am wondering if I did the right thing,questions,so many qu...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading the September 4 speaks about what happens when we begin to let go of our anger and worry and stop focusing on everyone but ourselves. The reading suggests that many of us find that we are in increasing calmness of mind and have a great deal of extra time.It also points out that we know how to...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 2 speaks about the first step. It points our that in the beginning we do a lot of thinking about the words,Admitting, Powerlessness and life being unmanageable .Later on we tend to do a lot of feelings about it as well. The feeling work can be described, mostly in one wo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for September 3 speaks about coming into Al-Anon and finding that we have built a lifetime of dreams and promises reserved for a special day called:" Someday" . It points out that we tell ourselves that "someday", I'll call my friend that I lost touch with, &...

daze · daze

I have been sick all day today at school but held it together until I got home and promptly threw-up. I have all the platitudes and sayings running in my head and I am trying but it just isn't helping today. I know from past experience this is only going to get worse before it can get any better and we aren't c...

Debb · Debb

Pain comes and goes, suffering is something we hold on to ~ Al-anon "They say that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. If I learn to accept that pain is part of life, I will be better able to endure the difficult times and then move on, leaving the pain behind me." (from Courage to...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I thought about it and I have recently tried to communicate with my XAH about the kids and it doesn't work .. he's to guilty, shame and angry and I'm to angry because talking to stupid just doesn't work for me. He is so out of it when it comes to benefits and so on he really has no idea what the kids are covered...

Broken513 · Broken513

Well last night I mentioned carefully to my AH that I had started Al-Anon online. (he was sober) His question to me was why did you do that for? SMH..... My answer... Because I am the wife, the sister and the daughter of an alcoholic, I didn't cause it, I cannot change it, and I cannot cure it. I told him I nee...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

HA HA .. as if anything with me is FAST .. NOT! I did not get the job that kind of sucked .. however it is what it is and I am praying that a new opportunity comes up. I just keep hanging in and trying to let the God of my understanding do what He needs to do. It's sooo not easy at times. The full moon and the test...

somersas · somersas

Sorry in advance for the long post. My mother is an alcoholic and has been since I was in high school. I moved across the country from my parents after college and only visit them/they visit once a year. Every visit was riddled with anxiety and turmoil, before and during because I never knew if she would b...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hmmmm, well, payday is tomorrow. Just like last month, I told my wife while I was at work that I was scheduling payment on bills, etc. She hates this, because once I pay the bills, she has "no money" left to "live on" - whatever that means. It used to mean not enough money to go buy as m...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

pulling my hair out here though not as much as 15 months ago when i began ALANON. I know we are supposed to give AH dignity etc but he gets such a sense of entitlement. He thinks it ok that he keeps me from sleeping and it ruins my heath but if he is sleeping off a wicked binge, everthing has to be quiet and anyth...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Dave's pigeon analogy reminded me of this analogy. The story has helped me over and over again on my journey. "There once was a woman who, upon coming home one late evening saw a snake laying in the snow. It looked frozen to death - but to her surprise it lifted it's head and smiled weakly. It sa...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have an active A 35 yr old daughter,who has a history of illegal drug use and currently abuses prescription drus when she "needs" them for anxiety or whatever. For the past few years, despite my telling her I do not want to hear about people's (her friends, people in the news, books or movi...

Debb · Debb

Willingness is a readiness to change ones perception, the essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better.The definition of perception, for me, is how I personally view, sense and experience my world. We all have tendencies, especially when scared, angry and resentful, to perceiv...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just thought I would post because I don't get a chance to often anymore. I am basically the same as I have been lately. I still struggle w/ my vision but in just two short weeks I will get my eye at least one, fixed hopefully permanently but chances are it won't last forever. I am kind of pessimistic when it c...

Mirandac · Mirandac

I am trying to sit still and embrace my new life With All the changes In it. Accept what is and try to heal and grow at my own pace. God will heal me as long as i do my part. I keep trying to take baby steps outside of my comfort zone. Thank you all for your love and support during my difficult times. My Thinki...

alexmaui · alexmaui

I'm back after more than 6 months away (believing I had "graduated".)..had my tools and no longer needed the program. And here I am again...Someone in a meeting told me "No one graduates- you always need to come back." They were right. I'm going through a divorce with my AH. I ne...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

good morning everyone! todays reading is about the importance of self-care. For many of us it is the last thing we do- truly put ourselves first. In fact, there is a sentence in the reading about how the writer would sometimes care for him/herself, but somehow still keep the focus on others! That reso...

daze · daze

My husband of 36 years has relapsed after 10 years of sobriety. He lost his coal mining job last year around this time due to failing a drug test. He had smoked a joint after a softball game and as luck would have it he was tested the next day. I have been caring for my Mother who is in a nursing home for Alzheim...

Mistral · Mistral

Hi all, I'm glad to have found this message board tonight, for I am at my wit's end. My boyfriend is an alcoholic who recently became a non-functional one. We've only been together for two years, much of which he's been drunk during, and the weight of all the chaos is coming down hard right now. This be...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

Whenever there is change I get a bit stressed. My oldest is starting her high school senior year tomorrow and my baby is starting second grade, I am starting my last semester of nursing school which will be the hardest and longest semester yet. I know to take this one day at a time and no matter what I will b...

Debb · Debb

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results ~ Albert Einstein I read that basically insanity is, your mind writing checks that your body cant cash (Growing Yourself Back Up: Understanding Emotional Regression ~ John Lee), interesting way at looking at the...

littlelionman · littlelionman

Are there any "old slogans" that everyone is grateful to let go of? Here's a few of mine: An eye for an eye Fight fire with fire (although there may be a time and place, perhaps) And the one that I found to be one of the most damaging slogans in my life: If you can't beat em, join em.

missmeliss · missmeliss

We've been having a bit of a run of crappy luck lately, daughter and I, I'm kind of in 'batten down the hatches" mode. Daughter expressed to me the other day that she feels she and I "never get a break" and I hadn't realised she felt that way. Sad face. Anyway I ended up stacking and rolling...

Debb · Debb

Responsible = I want to be able to respond, not react. We are ultimately responsible for how we perceive and react to what we are exposed to and hear. If we react too quickly, then we sometimes end up saying and/or doing things in response, that we are sorry for later. You know, that feeling that duri...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah and I are separated and I think I screwed up somewhere and need some advise. I kicked him out bc he was drinking again and I just couldn't live with it anymore. Well when I kicked him out he took his paycheck with him and I am stuck with everything the house mortgage the dogs the kid everything. Well he i...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page acknowledges that family situations can get to the point where we are maxed out, done, ready to catch the first wagon train heading anywhere. There are times when we must act, particularly if safety is an issue (C2C p. 73). Outside of these extreme cases, however, AlAnon suggests that we...

Pln · Pln

i recently started therapy... Because I'm having so much anxiety dealing with my life. I am married to a functioning alcoholic.. he works for days at a time ( stays at work 3 & 4) days at a time. He comes home in evening and brings home 3 24oz beers 2 shots of whatever.... To relax from being gone. I liv...

joker · joker

I have been still reading this board and its like I am seeing I am settling for less than I deserve. I find I have a hard time accepting that my abf has been legally married and divorced 3 times and now he wants us to get married. I just can not let go of the fact he has been legally married and divorced 3 times al...

Iamhere · Iamhere

So - I am one who functions best when I am structured. Needless to say, my day has been way different than planned. I woke up almost 2 hours later than usual. That, by itself, can cause me stress as I always have this nagging pull that I should be up, active, etc. So, when I rolled out of bed and stood uprig...

Jerry F · Jerry F

and it felt sooo normal and usual. I got a meeting tonight and can't wait. What did I do? A driver wasn't reading the signs and has poor information and a huge truck and in the process of denying me the right of way I honked my horn to get his attention. I got the attention of all in the truck and heads p...

EarlyBird · EarlyBird

My AH has been working his program for a little over 90 days. I thought everything has been getting more positive over the last few weeks. We even made love which hasnt happened in over 90 days. We were starting to enjoy eachother's company again....until last night when I stumbled upon his supply of be...

PaulF · PaulF

Quick update. I'm moving away from the area I did rehab in to go home. I'm excited and nervous. My female friend is now sober but relying quite heavily on Valium and is understandably depressed. Aside from a couple of texts there's been no other contact. Trying to detach with love! Sadly one of the guys I...

Debb · Debb

HOPE: Happy. Our. Program. Exists.The first gift a newcomer receives from contact with Al-Anon is hope. Seeing how other rise above their problems, listening to situations worse than their own, absorbing the atmosphere of love and goodwill, send them home with a new lease on life. (One Day At a...

texas yankee · texas yankee

One of my Al Anon friends that's struggling with an adult child situation (like me), told me a story the other day that I just had to share with everyone - her story gave me an instant shot of faith and hope - perhaps someone here can use a bit of that, too . . . Her son is in his early 30s, lives across the countr...

lafox48 · lafox48

Hi, all! I'm new to the forum, however not so new to dealing with a recovering alcoholic. As a little bit of background, I began my relationship with the RA in my life two years ago. It was my first experience dealing with an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise. What an experience. In two years' time, I'v...

Debb · Debb

The Three Cs - You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!Codependency No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself~Melody BeattieMs. Beattie writes: When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for August 30 speaks about making daily gratitude lists as well as other Al-Anon tools that can offer many positive results in our attitude and therefore our lives. It points out that when we are unhappy we should take a moment and realize that much of our own happiness is due to negati...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for August 31, highlights the importance of keeping the focus on ourselves, honestly examining our motives so that we do not attempt to change other people to suit our desires. It points out that prior to program we may have chosen someone who we felt would always be there for us but wou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	relationships and friendships (Preview) As I go through my life. The only true friendships I have made are from people from the program. Just recently I have lost another friendship. They are not a part of alanon and don't understand why I go since I am divorced from my exAh. They lied to me yet again last night. Recently they have been lying abt w...	texasgal	5	1258	Sep 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	So today I found out it's not just alcohol (Preview) my A has apparently been smoking crack Too! He just dropped this bombshell on me today. I don't know how I could have been so blind as to not know. People even asked me if he had a drug problem and I said oh no he would never do that! I feel like such an idiot! I don't know why he told me this Now. It doesn't mak...	JukuVee	11	912	Sep 6, 2015 by Beatrice
	Well that was gently interesting... (Preview) On instruction from our marriage counsellor I've just done a list of things that I appreciate about my husband. I think that my expectation was that this was meant to make me feel better about him and I started the list thinking 'oh darn, why do I have to spend time rooting around for good stuff?' By the e...	milkwood	5	629	Sep 6, 2015 by el-cee
	Birthday/discovery (Preview) AH is severely ill with his drinking and supposedly entering rehab soon. So my cousin called and sent some money and said to treat myself. I really realize now, after 1 1/2 yrs at ALANON that when i take my thoughts away from my AH, and put them on myself, I realized that I hadnt been addressing my panic/an...	YARNCRAZY	8	618	Sep 6, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C 9-6 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 6 speaks about the slogan:":How important is it". The reading states that many of us obsess over something that might be irritating us in the moment , telling ourselves that this is a very important issue. .If we actually stopped and asked ourselves the qu...	hotrod	1	551	Sep 6, 2015 by Iamhere
	Good Self-help books? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'd like to pick up some inspirational self-help books about setting/maintaining boundaries with my alcoholic boyfriend, detaching with love, and to stop obsessing over his behaviors. What have you all read that you drew inspiration from? Is there particular Al-Anon literature...	Mistral	8	777	Sep 6, 2015 by karma13
	Just want happiness (Preview) So today is the first time my AH and I have really talked for a couple weeks. He left on Wednesday night, came home Thursday, after telling me he loved me, the kids, and didn't want to leave. I actually told him to leave. Anyhow, I know he loves us but I told him I cold not live like this anymore. So today w...	confused2015	8	687	Sep 6, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 9-5 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 5 speaks about the seventh step in which we humbly ask HP to remove our shortcomings. The reading points out that many of us lists feelings as shortcomings and ask HP to lift our feelings of anger, fear and guilt, so we can look forward to a day of it would not have to feel this t...	hotrod	1	493	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	Brand New Day .. (Preview) I'm soooo glad the week is over with .. LOL .. I'm good with never seeing last week again. I have felt very helpless with so many things that have been out of my control .. starting with a job .. having to deal with my mom who means well however if it wasn't for the kids I would rather be homeless. My sponsors...	SerenityRUS	2	553	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	preparing myself (Preview) I recently posted about my ex being found dead and today I am going to see his sister,we were close,she really liked me.I don't know all the details yet,but there may be a girlfriend involved so I want to decide if it would be appropriate to go to the funeral home or not,it doesn't seem real, I think I need s...	mjferg	10	759	Sep 5, 2015 by daze
	I kicked him out, but he won't leave. I don't know what to do (Preview) we are not legally married but we have been living together for 22 years. We bought a house together 1998. I paid the down payment but because at the time we were in love and were planning on getting married I gave him 20% ownership on the deed even though I didn't have to. That was dumb. Not only has he bitte...	JukuVee	12	1044	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	She died today. (Preview) I posted a few weeks ago about my step mother who was suffering from end stage liver disease. She died early this morning while the nurses were bathing her. She stopped breathing, and they did not attempt to resuscitate her due to a DNR order her next of kin had signed when all of this started. I didn'...	scootypuffjunior	19	853	Sep 5, 2015 by Iamhere
	How Do I Find Peace With It? (Preview) I am new here. I have been trying to find the courage to look for an online group for a very long time now. I grew up in an alcoholic home. My father found sobriety, which saved our family. My sister battled alcoholism and found AA, which has helped to save her own family. I married a man whom I love dear...	Cammi45	13	808	Sep 4, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Finally posting here... (Preview) Hi everyone. Let me start off by saying: I am sorry if my post is breaking any message board rules in any way. Just about 7 hours ago my world kind of came crashing down (again) when my (recovering) ABF was discovered drinking again by one of our mutual friends. I didn't know where to turn, so here I am now. ...	nightowl	20	875	Sep 4, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Devestating news .. (Preview) My beautiful wonderful sponsor is battling some big health issues at the moment. She's been through so much and ironically takes such good care of herself that I'm totally blown away by all of this. Could you please lift her up in prayer .. she is such a warrior goddess that I just can see her beating th...	SerenityRUS	11	647	Sep 4, 2015 by Breakingfree
	Step 4 posted to Step Board (Preview) Here is the linkhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t60818767/alanon-step-4-9-15/Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together	hotrod	0	321	Sep 4, 2015 by hotrod
	For my health's sake, I can't take it anymore! (Preview) HI everyone! Well, it's fall and my life is crazy again with school, working two jobs, and trying to juggle everything. It's been a crazy August and I haven't been working on myself as much as I'm getting back into my busy mode. I am getting little or no help with my A, as has been the case, even though he...	gabigail	8	708	Sep 4, 2015 by gabigail
	My husbands ex wife... (Preview) Never did I feel I would be in this position but here we are... After a really nasty custody battle we have found out that my husbands ex wife has been on methadone for over a year and a half after we found her passed out in her car outside of my husbands work. There was no reasoning afterwards and since we ha...	chasingstars	6	712	Sep 4, 2015 by Beatrice
	From one addiction to another. (Preview) Hello everyone! I am the girlfriend to a sober alcoholic. He was sober for 5 years when we met, then relapsed a year into our relationship. He's now been sober since July 28, 2014 but last week I found out that he's also a sex addict. I was absolutely heartbroken. I'm feeling betrayed, sad, depress...	Mandy22	4	686	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	hanging in there... (Preview) I am still hanging in. Less than two weeks to go. I am still anxious a bit but I know it will be alright. I am so grateful for all of you & your support. A lot of people have been praying for me & I really appreciate it. Sometimes I want to scream or cry or whatever I am feeling at the moment. My emotions a...	Hoot Nanny	2	447	Sep 4, 2015 by Debb
	sadness and pain (Preview) I just received the news I have been dreading,My ex was found dead today.I am kind of in shock right now,not sure what I am feeling.They are taking him for an autopsy,possible overdose.Of course I feel overwhelming sadness right now,also, I am wondering if I did the right thing,questions,so many qu...	mjferg	15	757	Sep 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	C2c 9-4 (Preview) C2C reading the September 4 speaks about what happens when we begin to let go of our anger and worry and stop focusing on everyone but ourselves. The reading suggests that many of us find that we are in increasing calmness of mind and have a great deal of extra time.It also points out that we know how to...	hotrod	2	453	Sep 4, 2015 by Debb
	C2C 9-2 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 2 speaks about the first step. It points our that in the beginning we do a lot of thinking about the words,Admitting, Powerlessness and life being unmanageable .Later on we tend to do a lot of feelings about it as well. The feeling work can be described, mostly in one wo...	hotrod	4	508	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 9-3 (Preview) The C2C reading for September 3 speaks about coming into Al-Anon and finding that we have built a lifetime of dreams and promises reserved for a special day called:" Someday" . It points out that we tell ourselves that "someday", I'll call my friend that I lost touch with, &...	hotrod	5	598	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Feeling pretty low (Preview) I have been sick all day today at school but held it together until I got home and promptly threw-up. I have all the platitudes and sayings running in my head and I am trying but it just isn't helping today. I know from past experience this is only going to get worse before it can get any better and we aren't c...	daze	13	729	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Definition for 9/4/15 – Pain & Suffering (Preview) Pain comes and goes, suffering is something we hold on to ~ Al-anon "They say that pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. If I learn to accept that pain is part of life, I will be better able to endure the difficult times and then move on, leaving the pain behind me." (from Courage to...	Debb	2	604	Sep 4, 2015 by Iamhere
	Well .. hmm .. (Preview) I thought about it and I have recently tried to communicate with my XAH about the kids and it doesn't work .. he's to guilty, shame and angry and I'm to angry because talking to stupid just doesn't work for me. He is so out of it when it comes to benefits and so on he really has no idea what the kids are covered...	SerenityRUS	8	902	Sep 4, 2015 by Debb
	Told AH about al-anon (Preview) Well last night I mentioned carefully to my AH that I had started Al-Anon online. (he was sober) His question to me was why did you do that for? SMH..... My answer... Because I am the wife, the sister and the daughter of an alcoholic, I didn't cause it, I cannot change it, and I cannot cure it. I told him I nee...	Broken513	9	773	Sep 3, 2015 by maryjane
	Fast Update .. (Preview) HA HA .. as if anything with me is FAST .. NOT! I did not get the job that kind of sucked .. however it is what it is and I am praying that a new opportunity comes up. I just keep hanging in and trying to let the God of my understanding do what He needs to do. It's sooo not easy at times. The full moon and the test...	SerenityRUS	14	689	Sep 3, 2015 by andromeda
	Establishing Boundaries with Your Parents (for your children) (Preview) Sorry in advance for the long post. My mother is an alcoholic and has been since I was in high school. I moved across the country from my parents after college and only visit them/they visit once a year. Every visit was riddled with anxiety and turmoil, before and during because I never knew if she would b...	somersas	3	635	Sep 2, 2015 by Iamhere
	Meaning what I say... (Preview) Hmmmm, well, payday is tomorrow. Just like last month, I told my wife while I was at work that I was scheduling payment on bills, etc. She hates this, because once I pay the bills, she has "no money" left to "live on" - whatever that means. It used to mean not enough money to go buy as m...	Skorpi	12	788	Sep 2, 2015 by JukuVee
	sense of entitlement (Preview) pulling my hair out here though not as much as 15 months ago when i began ALANON. I know we are supposed to give AH dignity etc but he gets such a sense of entitlement. He thinks it ok that he keeps me from sleeping and it ruins my heath but if he is sleeping off a wicked binge, everthing has to be quiet and anyth...	YARNCRAZY	7	1663	Sep 2, 2015 by JukuVee
	One of my favorite stories. (Preview) Dave's pigeon analogy reminded me of this analogy. The story has helped me over and over again on my journey. "There once was a woman who, upon coming home one late evening saw a snake laying in the snow. It looked frozen to death - but to her surprise it lifted it's head and smiled weakly. It sa...	LedfootJenny	9	698	Sep 2, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	True Confessions (Preview) I have an active A 35 yr old daughter,who has a history of illegal drug use and currently abuses prescription drus when she "needs" them for anxiety or whatever. For the past few years, despite my telling her I do not want to hear about people's (her friends, people in the news, books or movi...	lgnutah	13	845	Sep 2, 2015 by Cathyinaz
	Definition for 9/2/15 - Willingness (Preview) Willingness is a readiness to change ones perception, the essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better.The definition of perception, for me, is how I personally view, sense and experience my world. We all have tendencies, especially when scared, angry and resentful, to perceiv...	Debb	1	953	Sep 2, 2015 by hotrod
	really don't know what to say... (Preview) Just thought I would post because I don't get a chance to often anymore. I am basically the same as I have been lately. I still struggle w/ my vision but in just two short weeks I will get my eye at least one, fixed hopefully permanently but chances are it won't last forever. I am kind of pessimistic when it c...	Hoot Nanny	4	827	Sep 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	Being still (Preview) I am trying to sit still and embrace my new life With All the changes In it. Accept what is and try to heal and grow at my own pace. God will heal me as long as i do my part. I keep trying to take baby steps outside of my comfort zone. Thank you all for your love and support during my difficult times. My Thinki...	Mirandac	7	619	Sep 1, 2015 by Mirandac
	Here I am...back again (Preview) I'm back after more than 6 months away (believing I had "graduated".)..had my tools and no longer needed the program. And here I am again...Someone in a meeting told me "No one graduates- you always need to come back." They were right. I'm going through a divorce with my AH. I ne...	alexmaui	8	773	Sep 1, 2015 by Iamhere
	Hope for today sept 1 (Preview) good morning everyone! todays reading is about the importance of self-care. For many of us it is the last thing we do- truly put ourselves first. In fact, there is a sentence in the reading about how the writer would sometimes care for him/herself, but somehow still keep the focus on others! That reso...	yanksfan51	3	515	Sep 1, 2015 by Debb
	How do you stop hating?? (Preview) My husband of 36 years has relapsed after 10 years of sobriety. He lost his coal mining job last year around this time due to failing a drug test. He had smoked a joint after a softball game and as luck would have it he was tested the next day. I have been caring for my Mother who is in a nursing home for Alzheim...	daze	26	1032	Sep 1, 2015 by daze
	New and reaching out (Preview) Hi all, I'm glad to have found this message board tonight, for I am at my wit's end. My boyfriend is an alcoholic who recently became a non-functional one. We've only been together for two years, much of which he's been drunk during, and the weight of all the chaos is coming down hard right now. This be...	Mistral	9	601	Sep 1, 2015 by Mistral
	Change is in the air....update on me (Preview) Whenever there is change I get a bit stressed. My oldest is starting her high school senior year tomorrow and my baby is starting second grade, I am starting my last semester of nursing school which will be the hardest and longest semester yet. I know to take this one day at a time and no matter what I will b...	Breakingfree	9	689	Sep 1, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Definition for 9/1/15 - Insanity (Preview) Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results ~ Albert Einstein I read that basically insanity is, your mind writing checks that your body cant cash (Growing Yourself Back Up: Understanding Emotional Regression ~ John Lee), interesting way at looking at the...	Debb	3	3439	Sep 1, 2015 by The1975jen
	Old Slogans (Preview) Are there any "old slogans" that everyone is grateful to let go of? Here's a few of mine: An eye for an eye Fight fire with fire (although there may be a time and place, perhaps) And the one that I found to be one of the most damaging slogans in my life: If you can't beat em, join em.	littlelionman	9	617	Sep 1, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Ugh. (Preview) We've been having a bit of a run of crappy luck lately, daughter and I, I'm kind of in 'batten down the hatches" mode. Daughter expressed to me the other day that she feels she and I "never get a break" and I hadn't realised she felt that way. Sad face. Anyway I ended up stacking and rolling...	missmeliss	18	883	Sep 1, 2015 by Debb
	Definition for 8/31/15 - Responsible (Preview) Responsible = I want to be able to respond, not react. We are ultimately responsible for how we perceive and react to what we are exposed to and hear. If we react too quickly, then we sometimes end up saying and/or doing things in response, that we are sorry for later. You know, that feeling that duri...	Debb	5	656	Aug 31, 2015 by Debb
	Separated but still controlled?? (Preview) My ah and I are separated and I think I screwed up somewhere and need some advise. I kicked him out bc he was drinking again and I just couldn't live with it anymore. Well when I kicked him out he took his paycheck with him and I am stuck with everything the house mortgage the dogs the kid everything. Well he i...	Helpangel	7	580	Aug 31, 2015 by Helpangel
	ODAT 8-30 Making Important Decisions: What AlAnon Recommends... (Preview) Today's page acknowledges that family situations can get to the point where we are maxed out, done, ready to catch the first wagon train heading anywhere. There are times when we must act, particularly if safety is an issue (C2C p. 73). Outside of these extreme cases, however, AlAnon suggests that we...	Enigmatic	5	1215	Aug 31, 2015 by Enigmatic
	New here...need advice. (Preview) i recently started therapy... Because I'm having so much anxiety dealing with my life. I am married to a functioning alcoholic.. he works for days at a time ( stays at work 3 & 4) days at a time. He comes home in evening and brings home 3 24oz beers 2 shots of whatever.... To relax from being gone. I liv...	Pln	7	606	Aug 31, 2015 by milkwood
	awareness comming (Preview) I have been still reading this board and its like I am seeing I am settling for less than I deserve. I find I have a hard time accepting that my abf has been legally married and divorced 3 times and now he wants us to get married. I just can not let go of the fact he has been legally married and divorced 3 times al...	joker	1	561	Aug 31, 2015 by Debb
	I Woke Up Sick......Darn It!!! (Preview) So - I am one who functions best when I am structured. Needless to say, my day has been way different than planned. I woke up almost 2 hours later than usual. That, by itself, can cause me stress as I always have this nagging pull that I should be up, active, etc. So, when I rolled out of bed and stood uprig...	Iamhere	28	817	Aug 31, 2015 by Debb
	Yes I really did that!! (Preview) and it felt sooo normal and usual. I got a meeting tonight and can't wait. What did I do? A driver wasn't reading the signs and has poor information and a huge truck and in the process of denying me the right of way I honked my horn to get his attention. I got the attention of all in the truck and heads p...	Jerry F	7	857	Aug 31, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Relapse (Preview) My AH has been working his program for a little over 90 days. I thought everything has been getting more positive over the last few weeks. We even made love which hasnt happened in over 90 days. We were starting to enjoy eachother's company again....until last night when I stumbled upon his supply of be...	EarlyBird	6	731	Aug 31, 2015 by RealitySucker
	Update - still sane(ish) (Preview) Quick update. I'm moving away from the area I did rehab in to go home. I'm excited and nervous. My female friend is now sober but relying quite heavily on Valium and is understandably depressed. Aside from a couple of texts there's been no other contact. Trying to detach with love! Sadly one of the guys I...	PaulF	3	509	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Al-Anon Acronym For 8/29/15 ... H.O.P.E. (Preview) HOPE: Happy. Our. Program. Exists.The first gift a newcomer receives from contact with Al-Anon is hope. Seeing how other rise above their problems, listening to situations worse than their own, absorbing the atmosphere of love and goodwill, send them home with a new lease on life. (One Day At a...	Debb	11	797	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Two for one special - FAITH and HOPE !!! (Preview) One of my Al Anon friends that's struggling with an adult child situation (like me), told me a story the other day that I just had to share with everyone - her story gave me an instant shot of faith and hope - perhaps someone here can use a bit of that, too . . . Her son is in his early 30s, lives across the countr...	texas yankee	19	809	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Need some hope and help... (Preview) Hi, all! I'm new to the forum, however not so new to dealing with a recovering alcoholic. As a little bit of background, I began my relationship with the RA in my life two years ago. It was my first experience dealing with an alcoholic, recovering or otherwise. What an experience. In two years' time, I'v...	lafox48	6	612	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	Wisdom for today 8/30/15 – The Three C’s (Preview) The Three Cs - You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!Codependency No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself~Melody BeattieMs. Beattie writes: When we attempt to control people and things that we have no business controlling, we are controlled...	Debb	4	713	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-30 (Preview) The C2C reading for August 30 speaks about making daily gratitude lists as well as other Al-Anon tools that can offer many positive results in our attitude and therefore our lives. It points out that when we are unhappy we should take a moment and realize that much of our own happiness is due to negati...	hotrod	3	542	Aug 31, 2015 by Iamhere
	C2C 8-31 (Preview) C2C reading for August 31, highlights the importance of keeping the focus on ourselves, honestly examining our motives so that we do not attempt to change other people to suit our desires. It points out that prior to program we may have chosen someone who we felt would always be there for us but wou...	hotrod	2	475	Aug 31, 2015 by Enigmatic
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.