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Making amends
(Preview)
I am not quite at that stage of my recovery yet, but it has been on my mind a lot recently. When it comes to your qualifier, and those who enable your qualifier, do your amends reflect your own participation in the situation? One that I can think of, and would like to approach when the time is right, is my da...
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sarahGee
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4
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562
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Reputation
(Preview)
as most of you here know that I've recently had 2 of my live in qualifiers leave my home permanantly ,it's been going on 3 mths since the traumatizeing event happened thought it had ended there ,guess not,I've recently blocked both which its breaking my heart into peices cause one is my closest sister,...
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lookingup
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4
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404
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Alcoholic "powers"
(Preview)
Do all alcoholic families have members who think they have powers to change and manipulate other people's reality or is this sickness of abilities just in my family?
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Snippetvilla
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2
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577
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Youngest brother come to stay
(Preview)
I guess I must love my foo more than myself at times to fall right back into the ,having an addict in my home again,really!,here he is with his own groceries to do him for a while,my father which is 83 y/0 ,has my a/ sister living with him ,got her an apartment close to him,be a mth before she can move in to it,h...
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lookingup
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6
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532
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Who do you turn to?
(Preview)
As I go along and learn more about this program, I wonder who am I supposed to turn to when I need to vent, or get some advice? I realize that (as someone else put it so spot on) my "picker outer" is broken. So my friendships, romantic relationships and those with my family (qualifiers) aren't ideal places...
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sarahGee
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10
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472
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Seeking your wisdom and courage
(Preview)
I recently reached out to a family member who has been estranged for almost two years. I had heard she was ill and decided to send her a potted plant and a note because I wanted to show my compassion for her illness. She responded a few days later with a text, and it seems we may be moving towards some reconci...
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Taraxacum
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5
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427
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Hope for Today oct 18
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Today's reading focuses on the Serenity Prayer. The reading points out that the prayer is a reminder that we do not have control over alohol or alcoholic behavior. Many of us have expended and extraordinary amount of energy trying to manage events which were completely out o...
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yanksfan51
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2
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461
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How do you not?
(Preview)
my recovering alcoholic withdrawls often. I honestly think its just part of the alcoholism. If I give him a couple of days. He is fine. My problem is when something significant happens in my life I feel the need to share it with him. and then I feel bad for it. But I am not sure what is healthy and what isn't a...
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tealfighter
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7
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483
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i'm drowning in his disease
(Preview)
This is my first post...my first encounter with alcoholism and what feels like my final straw. I am drowning in his disease, suffocating on trying to help him. I am loosing myself and my sanity. I attend al-anon meeting when my work schedule allows me too, but I don't have a sponsor. I am the spouse of the...
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Sarah_E_S
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24
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710
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C2C 10-17-16
(Preview)
AlAnon is not rule driven, to the surprise of many newcomers. For some of us, rules were a mainstay before we arrived, imposed upon us or by us. Strict rules and rule enforcers would not allow the very thing that makes the program, and our recovery, so much better: freedom to move in the way that is best fo...
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Enigmatic
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6
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443
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The Forum...
(Preview)
My wife and I keep the Forum; the AFG monthly magazine in the house and often bring home older issues we have not yet read. Let me make a suggestion to those who do not or have not yet read and used this Al-Anon tool because it will broaden your own recovery and increase the amount of ESH in your daily progr...
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Jerry F
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4
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437
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New Chapter - About TIME!
(Preview)
So I realized the other day that it has been 2 years since my divorce sort of became final .. and let us be clear that is because the God of my understanding has a horribly wicked sense of humor. LOL .. I appreciate it so much more than I used to. While I was told and thought my divorce was final .. it turns out...
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SerenityRUS
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8
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481
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just stopped by to say HI!
(Preview)
It seems to me that sometimes I find myself needing more. I guess I always wanted more. I can't believe that I never got it until recently. I always thought that that didn't apply to me. I am in the process of letting go of some things. I think there is an app called Let it go! I wonder if I really can. I have men...
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Hoot Nanny
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6
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2436
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Do they understand how much they hurt you?
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
New to this. I just am so depressed I need help.
Do alcoholics understand how much they hurt you? Do they care? Can they really love you?
Every single thing that he says makes him drink can be fixed, and pretty easily. So why does he choose the path that makes him miserable rather than the path of happi...
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PrettyPink
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42
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1212
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The storm turned into a hurricane.
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to this forum. Last week I posted about trying to move on from an alcoholic ex. Well yesterday he called me asking for help. I helped him out, picked him up and dropped him off. He texted me this morning asking if he could come over and be with me. I caved and said yes (he was coming off a 6 day binge)...
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starcatcher2
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20
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605
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My generation coming to an end...
(Preview)
We got communication from my family that my younger brother was in serious condition in the hospital up there transfused with 9 liters of blood and surgery to clip off and artery that was failing to cancer and that the cancer is pancreatic and also in his liver. They brought him around and the family...
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Jerry F
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25
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582
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You Can't Fix Anyone But Yourself
(Preview)
My Name is Jackie, and I just started using Al-Anon a few months ago. My first serious boyfriend was an alcoholic and PTSD. He was in the Marines and had toured twice to other countries and seen some pretty horrific things. WHen he came home, he used drinking as a coping mechanism. Unknown to how serious...
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JackieR
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4
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573
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C2C reading 10-16-2016
(Preview)
C2C reading for October 16 speaks to the fact that Al-Anon is a program of action. It is here we finally recognize that we have choices about what to do with our time and life . We can relax with a bubble bath and a massage, make an Al-Anon call go on a bike ride or take a nap Any and all of these activit...
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hotrod
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4
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313
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Step 4 is posted on the Step Board
(Preview)
Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is the link http://st...
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hotrod
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0
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321
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Mood swings?
(Preview)
So DH isn't using currently. He's attending one meeting per week but I wouldn't say he's "working" on anything.
I'm working on myself and it's hard. But it's what's best.
Is anyone familiar with a recovering addict having serious mood swings? It's quite exhausting. One week he's up and full of ener...
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Prissykitty
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5
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440
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The alcoholic and social media
(Preview)
I am new to Al Anon, so this is all very fresh for me. In my previous post I explain a little more about my family. My mother is an alcoholic and my brother is an addict. They have a very strange relationship. They can't stand each other, but are glued to each other, if that makes any sense? Anyway, I was alway...
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sarahGee
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17
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597
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Courage To Change 15/10
(Preview)
Todays c2c suggests that forgiveness is "the most loving form of detachment". It goes on the explain that forgiveness is not about declaring a person "not guilty", or wiping their slate clean, but that it is rather an exercise in cutting the cords that bind us to the pain caused by the event. We don't h...
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MissM
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5
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413
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Has it run its course yet?
(Preview)
So much has gone on in the past 3 months. I have not been going to my meetings have not posted but somehow my life has taken a 180 and for the better. Even though I have not been to meetings and on here much I still keep all the slogans and prayers with me everyday and have been working really hard to turn my frus...
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ItsAllAboutMeMC
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3
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469
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Disappointed again.......
(Preview)
Yes, I still gets my hopes up only to be disappointed when my AH says he is going to quit drinking for a while. Then he goes for 1 day off and has just headed out to get "only 3 mini's" but will come home with more. Last time he got a bottle saying that they ran out of mini's. BS! So here we go again! Some day...
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tired of it
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13
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608
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You never know what's around the corner
(Preview)
There's a good chance that my job will end in December due to funding issues. I've known this since late June and have been pretty fine with it -- I actually haven't been stressed at all about the potential job loss, and have been leaving that up to HP. (I really think I work my program best in all areas that...
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e_i_m
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3
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451
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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/14/16
(Preview)
TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Friday! Good morning MIP family. Today's reading in Courage to Change is all about Step 10 and how it helps us continue to grow, learn and change. A line that really speaks to me says, "Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions -- that is, my prejudices, assu...
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Iamhere
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2
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329
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New here. Daughter of alcoholic, sister of addict. Could use some advice.
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am really glad I have found this forum. I have found an Al Anon group in my area as well, and I will be attending my first meeting tonight. I am nervous, but ready. My family is in shambles and I know it's time to walk away. I have tried to help in various ways, and everything came to a head a fe...
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sarahGee
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10
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2408
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They say it comes in waves - mom has cancer.
(Preview)
I apologize for the barrage of posts. I mentioned yesterday that my mom was sick & going through tests. My dad just called me (mom still not speaking to me) - Dr says mom has cancer. She is having surgery on Thursday this coming week, so their trip was cancelled. They don't know much now, but will kno...
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sarahGee
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7
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447
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Crush on a guy
(Preview)
Yep I have a crush on a guy that doesn't have a clue about me ,I don't think anyway,his now x wife divorced him for I don't know why reason,I knew him a bit back in my teen yrs just hanging out with ppl,I pm him we had a very brief conversation about nothing really ,then I saw I had a missed call from him on my mess...
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lookingup
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8
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461
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New to Al-Anon
(Preview)
I'm brand now to Al-Anon but not new to the effects that alcoholism has had on me as a person, not the effects it and drugs are having on my family and I now.
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Gary1957
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6
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386
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My Giant Thumb
(Preview)
Has shrunk so much. Its so good. It does inflate now and again and I get the whole 'I know best' 'do what I say' the whole you should... kind of vibe on the go but mostly my ego and my thumb is down to relatively realistic proportions. Hows your thumb these days?
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el-cee
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13
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570
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Honouring my feelings
(Preview)
Feeling quite low today. Time of the month. Anyway in the past I had always felt obliged to put on a happy pollyanna face for AH. Enabling his illusion that my life is wonderful. Ie that he is a fabulous husband and his daily drinking is normal. Now, when I am down. I own it. I act it, I am true to myself I will n...
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Calm Lady
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16
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534
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Trying to heal from the storm
(Preview)
Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...
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starcatcher2
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33
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3950
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Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/16
(Preview)
Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...
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Iamhere
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4
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415
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The Band-Aid That Wouldn't Come Off
(Preview)
Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...
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MissM
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14
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611
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Ah relapsed again and moving out again
(Preview)
Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...
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Helpangel
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8
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512
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Now that I'm sleeping better I'm having nightmares!
(Preview)
I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...
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KT2015
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4
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2955
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Realize its me
(Preview)
Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...
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joker
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3
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421
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guidance and boundaries
(Preview)
I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...
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searchingserenity
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9
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497
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Apparently I'm a "disease" now
(Preview)
On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...
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Thurrayya the Khajiit
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8
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735
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A blend of progress
(Preview)
Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...
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Fooled
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9
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511
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Support groups/books/etc recommendations for new girlfriend of an alcoholic in recovery
(Preview)
Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...
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Lys
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16
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578
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Waiting to hear "sorry."
(Preview)
This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...
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pinkchip
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14
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1048
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Meetings with oneself.
(Preview)
I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.
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geems
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13
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500
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I'm Not Measuring Up to His Program
(Preview)
I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...
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Suburban Denizen
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9
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538
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Boss and Friend relapsed. Grace in the Storm.
(Preview)
Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...
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fiercefemaleflyer
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1
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289
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C2C 10-12-16
(Preview)
Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...
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Enigmatic
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2
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376
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Oh Yeah - and then there is golf.....
(Preview)
Some of you know that I took up golf about a year ago. A bit of back-story - my father golfed m whole life. My brothers all learned to golf as kids. I was not allowed - I was pushed into girl things - tap dance (not my cup of tea), jazz dance (better but still....) and finally gymnastics (love, love, love!)...
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Iamhere
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6
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547
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sadniss
(Preview)
thanks to all of you...we are a good support group . i have only been here for a couple of weeks maybe...but have gained encouragement ...united we stand...
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wildhorsehomimy
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3
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419
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Silver linings.
(Preview)
I'm in a bad mood today. About an hour ago I threw a tantrum at my computer and the cried like an overtired 3 year old while my daughter sat staring at me in horror. So I figure I'll write it out here and try to figure out where the silver linings are. Issue 1. I had to withdraw from a couple of subjects this seme...
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MissM
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9
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469
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what's a regular relationship like??
(Preview)
OK .. so it's not Facebook official .. LOL .. it's official enough. I am seeing someone exclusively .. I love every min of it and boy oh boy it would be very easy to get consumed with this relationship. He hasn't met the kids yet and will next weekend. We have been seeing each other sporadically over the...
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SerenityRUS
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21
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2500
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feeling the peace of the program more and more frequently
(Preview)
As I have probably mentioned already I have been working through step 3 with my sponsor and almost ready to move on to step four. As I work away at letting things go more and more I let things go and give them to HP I feel so much more peaceful. I'm not always peaceful all the time but I have long periods of...
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KT2015
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3
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360
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Alanon Thinking
(Preview)
Isnt it great that we have this amazing way of thinking? Im very grateful today that I can see things differently, I can think differently, I can feel good about working towards making my life a good one. For me this good life comes from my own thought processes always. Its not about material possession...
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el-cee
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5
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589
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Head and emotions aren't in sync
(Preview)
I met my daughter for lunch today,and mentioned a trip to London I am thinking of planning when I have a week off work,she has a big corparate meeting in London which involves her stopping overnight and it is an event that will involve a lot of drinking,she has said she has told people now that she is cutti...
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Marcusjohn
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3
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417
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When AnyOne, Any Where Reaches.....
(Preview)
We are know it, we've all said it and we've all probably done this to the best of our ability - Let It Begin With Me.When anyone, anywhere,reaches out for help - let the hand ofAl-Anonand Alateen always be there, andLet It Begin With Me. I made plans last week with my active son for tonight. He was to have a d...
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Iamhere
|
10
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473
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Laugh for the day!
(Preview)
How many alanons does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They just detach and let it screw itself!!! -- Edited by kspec85 on Monday 10th of October 2016 05:44:30 PM
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kspec85
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12
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614
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No matter how old I get....
(Preview)
My mom possibly being angry at me still gets to me. Without going into detail I didn't invite my mom to be part of a short visit with my in laws and I did so because she hasn't participated in any visits with them in the past few years. I didn't do it to hurt her or insult her I just didn't think it was important t...
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KT2015
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10
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731
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Hope for Today Oct 11
(Preview)
Good morning everyone: Today's reading deals with some of the survival techniques we may have used growing up or being part of the chaos of an alcoholic home. The writer speaks about 'not dealing' by escaping into a world of books and art works. He goes on to say how even when he found hims in Alanon mee...
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yanksfan51
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2
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370
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a little loopy
(Preview)
going through an emotional rollercoaster today. woke up in a good mood, almost estatic. played some upbeat music, ..then suddenly i was in tears,mourning the end of my marriage. entirely my choice and a good oe..BUT its soo sad. for so many reasons. 25 yrs in which i didnt grow,go to school or further m...
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YARNCRAZY
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5
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365
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Hope for Today 10-10-16
(Preview)
Today's Hope for Today page has a tool that I have found to be extremely useful: using Step 1 backwards. It goes like this: I don't always correctly identify things I am powerless over or should not be trying to control. I do know, however, when I am feeling that things are unmanageable. When I am feeling...
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Enigmatic
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11
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470
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