Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Helpangel · Helpangel

Has anyone noticed that even when u detach they r not there for u but in a rant that is almost automatic? I keep thinking why can't he just listen to me and not get mad at whatever it is.. He is entitled to feelings but I have to stay neutral or things go bad. Is neutral detaching? Sometimes I wonder? Example:...

interstellarvagabond · interstellarvagabond

Hi, I'm a new member and to be honest I'm not sure if this is where I should be venting or not but my mom always talked about al-anon and I'm in need of some advice so I figured why not? My mother is a recovered alcoholic, three years sober now I think. Her drinking has made me pretty scared of alcohol, not like...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Today HP is throwing me some curveballs to test my patience. I posted earlier about my Amoms cancer diagnosis. She had me believing that it was aggressive, and that there was no hope. We needed to prepare for the end. I found out shortly after that it is a small patch of skin cancer cells. Not to minimize...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about just for today and staying in the present moment. The writer shares about being a small child, watchful on hands/knees perhaps with a bug or caterpillar. Curiosity and the anticipation of movement or change kept our interest as we marveled over the creature, the colors, t...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading provides a reminder that we are not responsible for, nor can we alter, things outside of ourselves. This means that when we face a deadline, we can't ensure success by worrying or taking extreme measures. Sometimes that just results in more stress along with a missed deadline.When w...

MissM · MissM

Saturday night last, now-definitely-ex-abf turned up at my house extremely drunk and falling over. I told him to leave so he went away and came back crying. I made him give me his keys to my house (big relief; that was troubling me) and told him he was not coming in and he was not welcome to be anywhere near...

el-cee · el-cee

Why have i surrounded myself with crazy people? Then an even better question, why do i then expect these crazy people to behave normally? Whose the craziest, them or me?

Helpangel · Helpangel

I posted about detachment a couple of days ago and man was it an eye opener! Thank u everyone! It got me thinking...if they rant so easy about so many topics what do you consider a safe topic? I know my job is a sore subject so Tonight I tried to talk about how my brother in law has gotten a promotion. My sister...

El · El

Hi all! So, I have "known" for a while that my AH has been sneaking alcohol. He will freely drink beer in front of me, but a couple of years ago he swore off scotch and no longer sips it with his beer here in the house. He will order it when we go out....he has given himself permission to order something harde...

KT2015 · KT2015

Last week I had an incident at work where I missed something medium sized in importance because I wasn't really on top of my work. I've been very distracted for a long time and I have a horrible habit of avoiding things I don't want to face and procrastinating. The issue worked out ok and I think it was a l...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I have major expectations around other people's behavior when it comes to friendship and I'm trying to let this go, but it comes up again and again and is going to take a long time to change. I have a scorecard in my mind about who has called whom, who has initiated an activity, who has invited whom over or o...

shimo · shimo

Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 30 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nicknam...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Feeling very grateful for my program right now. AH in bad place so unfortunately he is taking up his efforts to drag me into a fight or to listen to his pity party. To ease his stress, make him feel better. Because of my program, I was able to see this and be aware of it. Therefore I am able to take appropriate...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I am not quite at that stage of my recovery yet, but it has been on my mind a lot recently. When it comes to your qualifier, and those who enable your qualifier, do your amends reflect your own participation in the situation? One that I can think of, and would like to approach when the time is right, is my da...

lookingup · lookingup

as most of you here know that I've recently had 2 of my live in qualifiers leave my home permanantly ,it's been going on 3 mths since the traumatizeing event happened thought it had ended there ,guess not,I've recently blocked both which its breaking my heart into peices cause one is my closest sister,...

Snippetvilla · Snippetvilla

Do all alcoholic families have members who think they have powers to change and manipulate other people's reality or is this sickness of abilities just in my family?

lookingup · lookingup

I guess I must love my foo more than myself at times to fall right back into the ,having an addict in my home again,really!,here he is with his own groceries to do him for a while,my father which is 83 y/0 ,has my a/ sister living with him ,got her an apartment close to him,be a mth before she can move in to it,h...

sarahGee · sarahGee

As I go along and learn more about this program, I wonder who am I supposed to turn to when I need to vent, or get some advice? I realize that (as someone else put it so spot on) my "picker outer" is broken. So my friendships, romantic relationships and those with my family (qualifiers) aren't ideal places...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

I recently reached out to a family member who has been estranged for almost two years. I had heard she was ill and decided to send her a potted plant and a note because I wanted to show my compassion for her illness. She responded a few days later with a text, and it seems we may be moving towards some reconci...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading focuses on the Serenity Prayer. The reading points out that the prayer is a reminder that we do not have control over alohol or alcoholic behavior. Many of us have expended and extraordinary amount of energy trying to manage events which were completely out o...

tealfighter · tealfighter

my recovering alcoholic withdrawls often. I honestly think its just part of the alcoholism. If I give him a couple of days. He is fine. My problem is when something significant happens in my life I feel the need to share it with him. and then I feel bad for it. But I am not sure what is healthy and what isn't a...

Sarah_E_S · Sarah_E_S

This is my first post...my first encounter with alcoholism and what feels like my final straw. I am drowning in his disease, suffocating on trying to help him. I am loosing myself and my sanity. I attend al-anon meeting when my work schedule allows me too, but I don't have a sponsor. I am the spouse of the...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon is not rule driven, to the surprise of many newcomers. For some of us, rules were a mainstay before we arrived, imposed upon us or by us. Strict rules and rule enforcers would not allow the very thing that makes the program, and our recovery, so much better: freedom to move in the way that is best fo...

Jerry F · Jerry F

My wife and I keep the Forum; the AFG monthly magazine in the house and often bring home older issues we have not yet read. Let me make a suggestion to those who do not or have not yet read and used this Al-Anon tool because it will broaden your own recovery and increase the amount of ESH in your daily progr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So I realized the other day that it has been 2 years since my divorce sort of became final .. and let us be clear that is because the God of my understanding has a horribly wicked sense of humor. LOL .. I appreciate it so much more than I used to. While I was told and thought my divorce was final .. it turns out...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It seems to me that sometimes I find myself needing more. I guess I always wanted more. I can't believe that I never got it until recently. I always thought that that didn't apply to me. I am in the process of letting go of some things. I think there is an app called Let it go! I wonder if I really can. I have men...

PrettyPink · PrettyPink

New to this. I just am so depressed I need help. Do alcoholics understand how much they hurt you? Do they care? Can they really love you? Every single thing that he says makes him drink can be fixed, and pretty easily. So why does he choose the path that makes him miserable rather than the path of happi...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi, I'm new to this forum. Last week I posted about trying to move on from an alcoholic ex. Well yesterday he called me asking for help. I helped him out, picked him up and dropped him off. He texted me this morning asking if he could come over and be with me. I caved and said yes (he was coming off a 6 day binge)...

Jerry F · Jerry F

We got communication from my family that my younger brother was in serious condition in the hospital up there transfused with 9 liters of blood and surgery to clip off and artery that was failing to cancer and that the cancer is pancreatic and also in his liver. They brought him around and the family...

JackieR · JackieR

My Name is Jackie, and I just started using Al-Anon a few months ago. My first serious boyfriend was an alcoholic and PTSD. He was in the Marines and had toured twice to other countries and seen some pretty horrific things. WHen he came home, he used drinking as a coping mechanism. Unknown to how serious...

hotrod · hotrod

C2C reading for October 16 speaks to the fact that Al-Anon is a program of action. It is here we finally recognize that we have choices about what to do with our time and life . We can relax with a bubble bath and a massage, make an Al-Anon call go on a bike ride or take a nap Any and all of these activit...

hotrod · hotrod

Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is the link http://st...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

So DH isn't using currently. He's attending one meeting per week but I wouldn't say he's "working" on anything. I'm working on myself and it's hard. But it's what's best. Is anyone familiar with a recovering addict having serious mood swings? It's quite exhausting. One week he's up and full of ener...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I am new to Al Anon, so this is all very fresh for me. In my previous post I explain a little more about my family. My mother is an alcoholic and my brother is an addict. They have a very strange relationship. They can't stand each other, but are glued to each other, if that makes any sense? Anyway, I was alway...

MissM · MissM

Todays c2c suggests that forgiveness is "the most loving form of detachment". It goes on the explain that forgiveness is not about declaring a person "not guilty", or wiping their slate clean, but that it is rather an exercise in cutting the cords that bind us to the pain caused by the event. We don't h...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

So much has gone on in the past 3 months. I have not been going to my meetings have not posted but somehow my life has taken a 180 and for the better. Even though I have not been to meetings and on here much I still keep all the slogans and prayers with me everyday and have been working really hard to turn my frus...

tired of it · tired of it

Yes, I still gets my hopes up only to be disappointed when my AH says he is going to quit drinking for a while. Then he goes for 1 day off and has just headed out to get "only 3 mini's" but will come home with more. Last time he got a bottle saying that they ran out of mini's. BS! So here we go again! Some day...

e_i_m · e_i_m

There's a good chance that my job will end in December due to funding issues. I've known this since late June and have been pretty fine with it -- I actually haven't been stressed at all about the potential job loss, and have been leaving that up to HP. (I really think I work my program best in all areas that...

Iamhere · Iamhere

TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Friday! Good morning MIP family. Today's reading in Courage to Change is all about Step 10 and how it helps us continue to grow, learn and change. A line that really speaks to me says, "Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions -- that is, my prejudices, assu...

sarahGee · sarahGee

Hello everyone, I am really glad I have found this forum. I have found an Al Anon group in my area as well, and I will be attending my first meeting tonight. I am nervous, but ready. My family is in shambles and I know it's time to walk away. I have tried to help in various ways, and everything came to a head a fe...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I apologize for the barrage of posts. I mentioned yesterday that my mom was sick & going through tests. My dad just called me (mom still not speaking to me) - Dr says mom has cancer. She is having surgery on Thursday this coming week, so their trip was cancelled. They don't know much now, but will kno...

lookingup · lookingup

Yep I have a crush on a guy that doesn't have a clue about me ,I don't think anyway,his now x wife divorced him for I don't know why reason,I knew him a bit back in my teen yrs just hanging out with ppl,I pm him we had a very brief conversation about nothing really ,then I saw I had a missed call from him on my mess...

Gary1957 · Gary1957

I'm brand now to Al-Anon but not new to the effects that alcoholism has had on me as a person, not the effects it and drugs are having on my family and I now.

el-cee · el-cee

Has shrunk so much. Its so good. It does inflate now and again and I get the whole 'I know best' 'do what I say' the whole you should... kind of vibe on the go but mostly my ego and my thumb is down to relatively realistic proportions. Hows your thumb these days?

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Feeling quite low today. Time of the month. Anyway in the past I had always felt obliged to put on a happy pollyanna face for AH. Enabling his illusion that my life is wonderful. Ie that he is a fabulous husband and his daily drinking is normal. Now, when I am down. I own it. I act it, I am true to myself I will n...

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...

MissM · MissM

Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...

KT2015 · KT2015

I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...

joker · joker

Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...

searchingserenity · searchingserenity

I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...

Fooled · Fooled

Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...

Lys · Lys

Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...

geems · geems

I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Detachment (Preview) Has anyone noticed that even when u detach they r not there for u but in a rant that is almost automatic? I keep thinking why can't he just listen to me and not get mad at whatever it is.. He is entitled to feelings but I have to stay neutral or things go bad. Is neutral detaching? Sometimes I wonder? Example:...	Helpangel	8	681	Oct 20, 2016 by danielle44
	my girlfriend drinks, but she's not the alcoholic in my life advice needed help please (Preview) Hi, I'm a new member and to be honest I'm not sure if this is where I should be venting or not but my mom always talked about al-anon and I'm in need of some advice so I figured why not? My mother is a recovered alcoholic, three years sober now I think. Her drinking has made me pretty scared of alcohol, not like...	interstellarvagabond	6	3380	Oct 20, 2016 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Patience (Preview) Today HP is throwing me some curveballs to test my patience. I posted earlier about my Amoms cancer diagnosis. She had me believing that it was aggressive, and that there was no hope. We needed to prepare for the end. I found out shortly after that it is a small patch of skin cancer cells. Not to minimize...	sarahGee	9	705	Oct 20, 2016 by andromeda
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/20/16 (Preview) Today's reading is about just for today and staying in the present moment. The writer shares about being a small child, watchful on hands/knees perhaps with a bug or caterpillar. Curiosity and the anticipation of movement or change kept our interest as we marveled over the creature, the colors, t...	Iamhere	2	422	Oct 20, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 10/19/16 (Preview) Today's reading provides a reminder that we are not responsible for, nor can we alter, things outside of ourselves. This means that when we face a deadline, we can't ensure success by worrying or taking extreme measures. Sometimes that just results in more stress along with a missed deadline.When w...	Enigmatic	4	425	Oct 19, 2016 by e_i_m
	Need a label-maker for my monkeys. (Preview) Saturday night last, now-definitely-ex-abf turned up at my house extremely drunk and falling over. I told him to leave so he went away and came back crying. I made him give me his keys to my house (big relief; that was troubling me) and told him he was not coming in and he was not welcome to be anywhere near...	MissM	13	725	Oct 19, 2016 by starcatcher2
	Aaaaaaargh (Preview) Why have i surrounded myself with crazy people? Then an even better question, why do i then expect these crazy people to behave normally? Whose the craziest, them or me?	el-cee	8	543	Oct 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	The common Ranting --what topics are safe? (Preview) I posted about detachment a couple of days ago and man was it an eye opener! Thank u everyone! It got me thinking...if they rant so easy about so many topics what do you consider a safe topic? I know my job is a sore subject so Tonight I tried to talk about how my brother in law has gotten a promotion. My sister...	Helpangel	24	670	Oct 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	Seeing the proof hurts (Preview) Hi all! So, I have "known" for a while that my AH has been sneaking alcohol. He will freely drink beer in front of me, but a couple of years ago he swore off scotch and no longer sips it with his beer here in the house. He will order it when we go out....he has given himself permission to order something harde...	El	13	659	Oct 19, 2016 by Jerry F
	Keeping the focus on myself (Preview) Last week I had an incident at work where I missed something medium sized in importance because I wasn't really on top of my work. I've been very distracted for a long time and I have a horrible habit of avoiding things I don't want to face and procrastinating. The issue worked out ok and I think it was a l...	KT2015	5	3877	Oct 19, 2016 by 2HP
	Expectations, working on it. (Preview) I have major expectations around other people's behavior when it comes to friendship and I'm trying to let this go, but it comes up again and again and is going to take a long time to change. I have a scorecard in my mind about who has called whom, who has initiated an activity, who has invited whom over or o...	e_i_m	24	790	Oct 19, 2016 by 2HP
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9:00 A.M. EST (Preview) Al-Anon meeting in the chat room in approximately 30 minutes (9:00 a.m. EST). Come on in and join us! Link to the chat room: https://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html If you come into the room without selecting a nickname for yourself, you would need to type /nick space followed by the nicknam...	shimo	1	381	Oct 19, 2016 by hotrod
	Grateful (Preview) Feeling very grateful for my program right now. AH in bad place so unfortunately he is taking up his efforts to drag me into a fight or to listen to his pity party. To ease his stress, make him feel better. Because of my program, I was able to see this and be aware of it. Therefore I am able to take appropriate...	Calm Lady	12	620	Oct 19, 2016 by el-cee
	Making amends (Preview) I am not quite at that stage of my recovery yet, but it has been on my mind a lot recently. When it comes to your qualifier, and those who enable your qualifier, do your amends reflect your own participation in the situation? One that I can think of, and would like to approach when the time is right, is my da...	sarahGee	4	607	Oct 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Reputation (Preview) as most of you here know that I've recently had 2 of my live in qualifiers leave my home permanantly ,it's been going on 3 mths since the traumatizeing event happened thought it had ended there ,guess not,I've recently blocked both which its breaking my heart into peices cause one is my closest sister,...	lookingup	4	444	Oct 18, 2016 by sarahGee
	Alcoholic "powers" (Preview) Do all alcoholic families have members who think they have powers to change and manipulate other people's reality or is this sickness of abilities just in my family?	Snippetvilla	2	636	Oct 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Youngest brother come to stay (Preview) I guess I must love my foo more than myself at times to fall right back into the ,having an addict in my home again,really!,here he is with his own groceries to do him for a while,my father which is 83 y/0 ,has my a/ sister living with him ,got her an apartment close to him,be a mth before she can move in to it,h...	lookingup	6	584	Oct 18, 2016 by lookingup
	Who do you turn to? (Preview) As I go along and learn more about this program, I wonder who am I supposed to turn to when I need to vent, or get some advice? I realize that (as someone else put it so spot on) my "picker outer" is broken. So my friendships, romantic relationships and those with my family (qualifiers) aren't ideal places...	sarahGee	10	519	Oct 18, 2016 by sarahGee
	Seeking your wisdom and courage (Preview) I recently reached out to a family member who has been estranged for almost two years. I had heard she was ill and decided to send her a potted plant and a note because I wanted to show my compassion for her illness. She responded a few days later with a text, and it seems we may be moving towards some reconci...	Taraxacum	5	473	Oct 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today oct 18 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading focuses on the Serenity Prayer. The reading points out that the prayer is a reminder that we do not have control over alohol or alcoholic behavior. Many of us have expended and extraordinary amount of energy trying to manage events which were completely out o...	yanksfan51	2	518	Oct 18, 2016 by Iamhere
	How do you not? (Preview) my recovering alcoholic withdrawls often. I honestly think its just part of the alcoholism. If I give him a couple of days. He is fine. My problem is when something significant happens in my life I feel the need to share it with him. and then I feel bad for it. But I am not sure what is healthy and what isn't a...	tealfighter	7	532	Oct 18, 2016 by Calm Lady
	i'm drowning in his disease (Preview) This is my first post...my first encounter with alcoholism and what feels like my final straw. I am drowning in his disease, suffocating on trying to help him. I am loosing myself and my sanity. I attend al-anon meeting when my work schedule allows me too, but I don't have a sponsor. I am the spouse of the...	Sarah_E_S	24	759	Oct 17, 2016 by Sarah_E_S
	C2C 10-17-16 (Preview) AlAnon is not rule driven, to the surprise of many newcomers. For some of us, rules were a mainstay before we arrived, imposed upon us or by us. Strict rules and rule enforcers would not allow the very thing that makes the program, and our recovery, so much better: freedom to move in the way that is best fo...	Enigmatic	6	495	Oct 17, 2016 by Enigmatic
	The Forum... (Preview) My wife and I keep the Forum; the AFG monthly magazine in the house and often bring home older issues we have not yet read. Let me make a suggestion to those who do not or have not yet read and used this Al-Anon tool because it will broaden your own recovery and increase the amount of ESH in your daily progr...	Jerry F	4	491	Oct 17, 2016 by Jerry F
	New Chapter - About TIME! (Preview) So I realized the other day that it has been 2 years since my divorce sort of became final .. and let us be clear that is because the God of my understanding has a horribly wicked sense of humor. LOL .. I appreciate it so much more than I used to. While I was told and thought my divorce was final .. it turns out...	SerenityRUS	8	524	Oct 17, 2016 by Green Eyes
	just stopped by to say HI! (Preview) It seems to me that sometimes I find myself needing more. I guess I always wanted more. I can't believe that I never got it until recently. I always thought that that didn't apply to me. I am in the process of letting go of some things. I think there is an app called Let it go! I wonder if I really can. I have men...	Hoot Nanny	6	2571	Oct 17, 2016 by Freetime
	Do they understand how much they hurt you? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) New to this. I just am so depressed I need help. Do alcoholics understand how much they hurt you? Do they care? Can they really love you? Every single thing that he says makes him drink can be fixed, and pretty easily. So why does he choose the path that makes him miserable rather than the path of happi...	PrettyPink	42	1278	Oct 17, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	The storm turned into a hurricane. (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this forum. Last week I posted about trying to move on from an alcoholic ex. Well yesterday he called me asking for help. I helped him out, picked him up and dropped him off. He texted me this morning asking if he could come over and be with me. I caved and said yes (he was coming off a 6 day binge)...	starcatcher2	20	648	Oct 17, 2016 by starcatcher2
	My generation coming to an end... (Preview) We got communication from my family that my younger brother was in serious condition in the hospital up there transfused with 9 liters of blood and surgery to clip off and artery that was failing to cancer and that the cancer is pancreatic and also in his liver. They brought him around and the family...	Jerry F	25	626	Oct 17, 2016 by Jerry F
	You Can't Fix Anyone But Yourself (Preview) My Name is Jackie, and I just started using Al-Anon a few months ago. My first serious boyfriend was an alcoholic and PTSD. He was in the Marines and had toured twice to other countries and seen some pretty horrific things. WHen he came home, he used drinking as a coping mechanism. Unknown to how serious...	JackieR	4	618	Oct 17, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C reading 10-16-2016 (Preview) C2C reading for October 16 speaks to the fact that Al-Anon is a program of action. It is here we finally recognize that we have choices about what to do with our time and life . We can relax with a bubble bath and a massage, make an Al-Anon call go on a bike ride or take a nap Any and all of these activit...	hotrod	4	358	Oct 16, 2016 by lookingup
	Step 4 is posted on the Step Board (Preview) Step 4 has been posted to the Step Work Board Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Please join in and share your thoughts . Here is the link http://st...	hotrod	0	365	Oct 16, 2016 by hotrod
	Mood swings? (Preview) So DH isn't using currently. He's attending one meeting per week but I wouldn't say he's "working" on anything. I'm working on myself and it's hard. But it's what's best. Is anyone familiar with a recovering addict having serious mood swings? It's quite exhausting. One week he's up and full of ener...	Prissykitty	5	478	Oct 16, 2016 by jitsuka
	The alcoholic and social media (Preview) I am new to Al Anon, so this is all very fresh for me. In my previous post I explain a little more about my family. My mother is an alcoholic and my brother is an addict. They have a very strange relationship. They can't stand each other, but are glued to each other, if that makes any sense? Anyway, I was alway...	sarahGee	17	664	Oct 15, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage To Change 15/10 (Preview) Todays c2c suggests that forgiveness is "the most loving form of detachment". It goes on the explain that forgiveness is not about declaring a person "not guilty", or wiping their slate clean, but that it is rather an exercise in cutting the cords that bind us to the pain caused by the event. We don't h...	MissM	5	446	Oct 15, 2016 by hotrod
	Has it run its course yet? (Preview) So much has gone on in the past 3 months. I have not been going to my meetings have not posted but somehow my life has taken a 180 and for the better. Even though I have not been to meetings and on here much I still keep all the slogans and prayers with me everyday and have been working really hard to turn my frus...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	3	513	Oct 15, 2016 by Enigmatic
	Disappointed again....... (Preview) Yes, I still gets my hopes up only to be disappointed when my AH says he is going to quit drinking for a while. Then he goes for 1 day off and has just headed out to get "only 3 mini's" but will come home with more. Last time he got a bottle saying that they ran out of mini's. BS! So here we go again! Some day...	tired of it	13	661	Oct 15, 2016 by Enigmatic
	You never know what's around the corner (Preview) There's a good chance that my job will end in December due to funding issues. I've known this since late June and have been pretty fine with it -- I actually haven't been stressed at all about the potential job loss, and have been leaving that up to HP. (I really think I work my program best in all areas that...	e_i_m	3	513	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/14/16 (Preview) TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Friday! Good morning MIP family. Today's reading in Courage to Change is all about Step 10 and how it helps us continue to grow, learn and change. A line that really speaks to me says, "Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions -- that is, my prejudices, assu...	Iamhere	2	370	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	New here. Daughter of alcoholic, sister of addict. Could use some advice. (Preview) Hello everyone, I am really glad I have found this forum. I have found an Al Anon group in my area as well, and I will be attending my first meeting tonight. I am nervous, but ready. My family is in shambles and I know it's time to walk away. I have tried to help in various ways, and everything came to a head a fe...	sarahGee	10	2551	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	They say it comes in waves - mom has cancer. (Preview) I apologize for the barrage of posts. I mentioned yesterday that my mom was sick & going through tests. My dad just called me (mom still not speaking to me) - Dr says mom has cancer. She is having surgery on Thursday this coming week, so their trip was cancelled. They don't know much now, but will kno...	sarahGee	7	498	Oct 14, 2016 by sarahGee
	Crush on a guy (Preview) Yep I have a crush on a guy that doesn't have a clue about me ,I don't think anyway,his now x wife divorced him for I don't know why reason,I knew him a bit back in my teen yrs just hanging out with ppl,I pm him we had a very brief conversation about nothing really ,then I saw I had a missed call from him on my mess...	lookingup	8	504	Oct 14, 2016 by hotrod
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) I'm brand now to Al-Anon but not new to the effects that alcoholism has had on me as a person, not the effects it and drugs are having on my family and I now.	Gary1957	6	422	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	My Giant Thumb (Preview) Has shrunk so much. Its so good. It does inflate now and again and I get the whole 'I know best' 'do what I say' the whole you should... kind of vibe on the go but mostly my ego and my thumb is down to relatively realistic proportions. Hows your thumb these days?	el-cee	13	617	Oct 14, 2016 by jojo8466
	Honouring my feelings (Preview) Feeling quite low today. Time of the month. Anyway in the past I had always felt obliged to put on a happy pollyanna face for AH. Enabling his illusion that my life is wonderful. Ie that he is a fabulous husband and his daily drinking is normal. Now, when I am down. I own it. I act it, I am true to myself I will n...	Calm Lady	16	577	Oct 14, 2016 by Iamhere
	Trying to heal from the storm (Preview) Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...	starcatcher2	33	4083	Oct 13, 2016 by starcatcher2
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...	Iamhere	4	458	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Band-Aid That Wouldn't Come Off (Preview) Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...	MissM	14	664	Oct 13, 2016 by lookingup
	Ah relapsed again and moving out again (Preview) Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...	Helpangel	8	566	Oct 13, 2016 by e_i_m
	Now that I'm sleeping better I'm having nightmares! (Preview) I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...	KT2015	4	3107	Oct 13, 2016 by e_i_m
	Realize its me (Preview) Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...	joker	3	470	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	guidance and boundaries (Preview) I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...	searchingserenity	9	554	Oct 13, 2016 by searchingserenity
	Apparently I'm a "disease" now (Preview) On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	8	805	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	A blend of progress (Preview) Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...	Fooled	9	563	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Support groups/books/etc recommendations for new girlfriend of an alcoholic in recovery support family alanon alcoholic new relationship recovery advice (Preview) Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...	Lys	16	620	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Waiting to hear "sorry." (Preview) This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...	pinkchip	14	1118	Oct 12, 2016 by pinkchip
	Meetings with oneself. (Preview) I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.	geems	13	543	Oct 12, 2016 by jojo8466
	I'm Not Measuring Up to His Program (Preview) I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...	Suburban Denizen	9	589	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Boss and Friend relapsed. Grace in the Storm. (Preview) Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...	fiercefemaleflyer	1	333	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 10-12-16 (Preview) Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...	Enigmatic	2	429	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.