Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

starcatcher2 · starcatcher2

Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...

MissM · MissM

Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...

Helpangel · Helpangel

Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...

KT2015 · KT2015

I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...

joker · joker

Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...

searchingserenity · searchingserenity

I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...

Thurrayya the Khajiit · Thurrayya the Khajiit

On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...

Fooled · Fooled

Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...

Lys · Lys

Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...

pinkchip · pinkchip

This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...

geems · geems

I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.

Suburban Denizen · Suburban Denizen

I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...

fiercefemaleflyer · fiercefemaleflyer

Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Some of you know that I took up golf about a year ago. A bit of back-story - my father golfed m whole life. My brothers all learned to golf as kids. I was not allowed - I was pushed into girl things - tap dance (not my cup of tea), jazz dance (better but still....) and finally gymnastics (love, love, love!)...

wildhorsehomimy · wildhorsehomimy

thanks to all of you...we are a good support group . i have only been here for a couple of weeks maybe...but have gained encouragement ...united we stand...

MissM · MissM

I'm in a bad mood today. About an hour ago I threw a tantrum at my computer and the cried like an overtired 3 year old while my daughter sat staring at me in horror. So I figure I'll write it out here and try to figure out where the silver linings are. Issue 1. I had to withdraw from a couple of subjects this seme...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OK .. so it's not Facebook official .. LOL .. it's official enough. I am seeing someone exclusively .. I love every min of it and boy oh boy it would be very easy to get consumed with this relationship. He hasn't met the kids yet and will next weekend. We have been seeing each other sporadically over the...

KT2015 · KT2015

As I have probably mentioned already I have been working through step 3 with my sponsor and almost ready to move on to step four.Â As I work away at letting things go more and more I let things go and give them to HP I feel so much more peaceful.Â I'm not always peaceful all the time but I have long periods of...

el-cee · el-cee

Isnt it great that we have this amazing way of thinking? Im very grateful today that I can see things differently, I can think differently, I can feel good about working towards making my life a good one. For me this good life comes from my own thought processes always. Its not about material possession...

Marcusjohn · Marcusjohn

I met my daughter for lunch today,and mentioned a trip to London I am thinking of planning when I have a week off work,she has a big corparate meeting in London which involves her stopping overnight and it is an event that will involve a lot of drinking,she has said she has told people now that she is cutti...

Iamhere · Iamhere

We are know it, we've all said it and we've all probably done this to the best of our ability - Let It Begin With Me.When anyone, anywhere,reaches out for help - let the hand ofAl-Anonand Alateen always be there, andLet It Begin With Me. I made plans last week with my active son for tonight. He was to have a d...

kspec85 · kspec85

How many alanons does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They just detach and let it screw itself!!! -- Edited by kspec85 on Monday 10th of October 2016 05:44:30 PM

KT2015 · KT2015

My mom possibly being angry at me still gets to me. Without going into detail I didn't invite my mom to be part of a short visit with my in laws and I did so because she hasn't participated in any visits with them in the past few years. I didn't do it to hurt her or insult her I just didn't think it was important t...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Today's reading deals with some of the survival techniques we may have used growing up or being part of the chaos of an alcoholic home. The writer speaks about 'not dealing' by escaping into a world of books and art works. He goes on to say how even when he found hims in Alanon mee...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

going through an emotional rollercoaster today. woke up in a good mood, almost estatic. played some upbeat music, ..then suddenly i was in tears,mourning the end of my marriage. entirely my choice and a good oe..BUT its soo sad. for so many reasons. 25 yrs in which i didnt grow,go to school or further m...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Hope for Today page has a tool that I have found to be extremely useful: using Step 1 backwards. It goes like this: I don't always correctly identify things I am powerless over or should not be trying to control. I do know, however, when I am feeling that things are unmanageable. When I am feeling...

e_i_m · e_i_m

I gained a new addition to my little family yesterday -- Bosco, the Boston Terrier. He's a 9 year old sassy and sophisticated senior and has merged seamlessly in with the other pets (another Boston and two cats). These sweet pets are so healing and therapeutic (and fun!). It's really hard for me to feel...

a4l · a4l

Jeepers this disease has taken its toll. I am finding it incredibly difficult to find compassion or tolerance for the willfully ill. The loved one in question is so sick! So martyred and controlling and just bloody crazy. I don't know if recognising this is because they've gotten sicker or I've gotte...

RecoveryMom1491 · RecoveryMom1491

Good Morning, I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction. As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was fi...

deacon · deacon

Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it. We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one i...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Dh and I decided we are going to give the twins a choice: sobriety and they can live here or not living a sober life out there. This will leave them homeless because after nearly 4 years of the stealing, drinking, lying, drugs, puking, etc other family members are done allowing the chaos in their homes as...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I cannot attend face to face meetings but would love to find a sponsor who can help guide me through the steps. How do I go about finding a sponsor? If it helps someone decide if they are a good fit for me-I have been coming to this online site for almost four years. I came because I finally realized that my (...

lookingup · lookingup

I'm going on 3 mths being single for the 1st time in my life,wow,lol.i can laugh about it now for I always thought it to being impossible to do without a qualifier in my life,there's down days and good days,im finding everyday to be a healing day,it's totally diff,living alone and without any qualifier...

kadriliisa · kadriliisa

Yes today will be Tallinn Al Anon 23. Birthday and i as organizer of it feel bit scary as i am not sure in guidelines still....praying for serenity over myself...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yar...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today is the day...29 years ago, right about now, I woke up in a treatment center that I arrived at the night before. I arrived in a 'state' so, upon awakening on 10/8/87, I began a journey like no other. Had someone, anyone told me then I would be here now, I would have laughed in their face and probably s...

MissM · MissM

I've been kind of morose and defeatist of late and I think gratitude might be the cure so, I'm trying to be on a gratitude binge. So far so good. This morning I woke reasonably early and lazed in bed for a good hour writing and daydreaming and being grateful for Sunday. I then suggested to my offspring that...

Calm Lady · Calm Lady

Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a sloppy drunk eating an apple? *** Pauses to think ****. Nope, don't think there is. As she quickly dashes off to another room to escape it!!

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitude toward God. It suggests that prior to program, many of us have had an adversarial relationship with God. We were engaged in the battle of wills and we didn't want God to win. We refused to accept God was all powerful and many therefore hit a huge, e...

Desperateinnyc · Desperateinnyc

So my BF has been at rehab in Florida, he called me tonight and said someone asked him if I was going to come down for family week, where they integrate us etc into their treatment I guess, etc. He told me, ever since someone put the idea in his head, he was "all for it" as far as me coming down. I said of course I...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH was in touch to apologize and get back on track again and asked to come home. I offered to meet for coffee. He had me pick him up because he was drunk. I felt sorry for him. i think he really wants to do better. He has his plan of what to do. He said he would work on detoxing the rest of the day so he could drive ho...

TheWife · TheWife

After a pretty awful couple of months (years?) My husband has finally gone into rehab. He will be there for a month at least. I am so happy that he is finally sorting out his problem. The trouble is, things have been pretty horrible for me for a while now. I have learnt to detach from him and get on with my own...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

It has been months since I have posted anything on here. I haven't been really practicing my program & haven't been to very many meetings. I feel kind of ashamed to admit that I may be backsliding into some of my old behaviors. I miss being on here but sometimes feel what I say may go on a deaf ear since I...

MidnightOwl · MidnightOwl

So today I did things a little differently. AH is working from home, and drinking while doing it. While part of me wanted to feel sorry for myself, I reminded myself that's his choice and what will my choice be? Always have that plan B :) I went to the gym, ran errands, cleaned house, all things that made me...

LinSC · LinSC

Are they somehow linked? Why do some of us get away from our qualifiers and then find ourselves once again in a similar relationship? Do we miss the drama? Is it somehow "passion" we are really looking for? Are we drawn in by drama mistaking it for passion? Just thinking about this today, what do you thin...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks of the miracles that result from finding al-anon and realising that we are not alone, and our situation is not hopeless after all. Learning that others have been through the awful emotions that come with trying to live with someone else's alcoholism- and that they have not only got...

MissM · MissM

I like Magpies. They're smart. When my daughter was just learning to toddle around our back yard, many moons ago, a magpie family started to visit each day when we were outside. Mum and dad would sit on the fence and watch while baby magpie and my teetering offspring chased each other very slowly around...

jojo8466 · jojo8466

Why in some posters posts and replies does their message have a black diamond with a white question mark in it after the sentences??

hiraeth · hiraeth

Does online sponsorship exist? I was just reading, and one of the important ways to work the program is by having a sponsor. I'm very isolated here and don't have access to Al-anon meetings. Working full time with kids makes is impossible to travel the 6-hr round trip it would be to the closest Al-anon m...

Fooled · Fooled

I am not happy. There I said it. I am not happy its more than just unhappiness its unrest. Its every morning not wanting to get out of bed because I have responsibilities to face that should not be just mine. My A is an emotional and physical cripple that just cannot handle any type of responsibility...

el-cee · el-cee

I love that slogan, sounds so simple and can role of the tongue without much meaning but today I can see that everything passes, good times, bad times, the lot. My dis-ease raised its ugly head the last couple of days, got stuck in my own head and it was all me, me, me. Why cant I control the people in my life?...

Prissykitty · Prissykitty

My DH is an alcoholic. he has been "dry" since February (this time around). But even without alcohol I always found his moods erratic and unpredictable. sometimes he'd fall asleep mid sentence some days he'd be running around like crazy. i thought maybe he was bipolar. well six weeks ago I found out...

Doingmybest · Doingmybest

Please take this with the tongue and cheek fair reference it is intended..... I am in no way trying to detract from the alcoholic disease or lifestyle. Another poster referred to manipulation as a roller coaster and believe me I can understand. It was that post that started my brain along this track...

kspec85 · kspec85

I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that...

Crau · Crau

That moment when you realize that you were just manipulated is eye opening. When the dust settles in the drama that is so not nessesary and you see the true function on the interaction is actually quick sickening. Do you react? Call a person out? Let it go? Of file it in the "I may need to use this later" m...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

I'm trying to get myself out of tough moments like missing what seemed like a time of hope for my marriage/family, feeling lonely, or just sadness connected to the deep dark loss I feel, etc, by turning the focus on me. When I do it registers in my head as giving something to myself by focusing on me and tak...

hiraeth · hiraeth

I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Trying to heal from the storm (Preview) Hi, I am severely depressed and I just don't know how to get through this feeling of betrayal. I have been dating an alcoholic for over a year. We just recently broke up. I know it needed to happen. There were just to many negatives to keep this relationship afloat 1) No intimacy (he's unable to get an ere...	starcatcher2	33	3773	Oct 13, 2016 by starcatcher2
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/13/16 (Preview) Good morning MIP family - happy Thursday! Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle alrea...	Iamhere	4	364	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	The Band-Aid That Wouldn't Come Off (Preview) Sigh. Last weekend x(I thought) abf asked if he could come over and I said no, I don't want you to, sorry. I guess we still hadn't had "the talk" but it's been months since we've seen each other and we talk less than once a week now (and only if he's drunk and calls me anyway). Anyway he called before and he st...	MissM	14	558	Oct 13, 2016 by lookingup
	Ah relapsed again and moving out again (Preview) Well my ah who has relapsed a couple of times is moving out. Me- don't know what to do bc he just can't seem to stay sober and won't let things go and doesn't keep his promises to attend aa meetings or blah, blah...Him- wants to be sober but can't figure out what is wrong to not stay in recovery, and didn't wan...	Helpangel	8	456	Oct 13, 2016 by e_i_m
	Now that I'm sleeping better I'm having nightmares! (Preview) I have put a lot of work into improving my sleep and it has brought me a lot more sanity during the day. It has taken a big overhall. I've decreased my caffeine intake, Set an earlier bedtime, had to work on how to get back to sleep when I woke up in a panic about one thing or another. But in the past two weeks...	KT2015	4	2696	Oct 13, 2016 by e_i_m
	Realize its me (Preview) Things in the home front has been great. Sobriety remains in the home. That is a miracle. However, I find myself very miserable. I feel the anger inside me building up. I am so use to the insanity that now that there is structure and sanity I find it hard to deal with. I am not sure how to respond to it. Everyt...	joker	3	374	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	guidance and boundaries (Preview) I have an AH. We are young with 2 small children.. AH has been to rehab and we have done couples counseling for a while now. I set boundaries and unfortunately AH responded with yes he would follow them, but didnt follow through. I had to eventually take action. Does Al Anon support this decision? I am hav...	searchingserenity	9	444	Oct 13, 2016 by searchingserenity
	Apparently I'm a "disease" now (Preview) On Thursday, in a wave of loneliness/horniness, I made a Tinder. Ex-ABF has apparently already been all over Tinder and texts me "I saw you on Tinder." Tells me Tinder is none of my business but he's been on some dates. Then proceeds to be mad because I won't be home when he is available to come pick up his c...	Thurrayya the Khajiit	8	669	Oct 13, 2016 by Iamhere
	A blend of progress (Preview) Just wanted to take a moment and share what I thought was a hint of progress on my part.. One of my AH's complaints is that I am always getting involved in his recovery. I discovered that really what was happening is that he was pulling me into his hula hoop to handle some portion of his chaos and to get me b...	Fooled	9	460	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Support groups/books/etc recommendations for new girlfriend of an alcoholic in recovery support family alanon alcoholic new relationship recovery advice (Preview) Hello! Can anyone recommend online support groups.. books.. any type of material really.... for dating an alcoholic? It's a new relationship - about 2 months. My boyfriend is graduating from a 30 day recovery program this weekend. He has been fighting his addiction for over 10 years and has been in m...	Lys	16	536	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Waiting to hear "sorry." (Preview) This is something I still need to work on. I progressed to not accept abuse and such, but am still easily offended and upset by others' behaviors. If I perceive insult, slight, disrespect, or undue criticism, I will expect an apology and give stank attitude, rudeness, or snarky sarcastic comments an...	pinkchip	14	972	Oct 12, 2016 by pinkchip
	Meetings with oneself. (Preview) I've had two today. Jest sayin'. Sorry, I really am a doofus newbie and shouldn't be holding them alone.	geems	13	454	Oct 12, 2016 by jojo8466
	I'm Not Measuring Up to His Program (Preview) I have been lurking here for over a year, and thank you all for all of the wisdom, humor and love exchanged. I was in Al-Anon many years ago, then fell away as circumstances changed. 25+ years ago met DH, who had then been in recovery for a decade...but 3 years ago went out again. 1.5 years ago he stopped dri...	Suburban Denizen	9	479	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Boss and Friend relapsed. Grace in the Storm. (Preview) Found out a couple of days ago my boss relapsed and had an affair. While this has been really hard for me God is giving me strength to get through. Had I not just read a book on co-dependency I think I would rush into trying to "save her" mode. I have not. Insted I have been holding her accountable to her own be...	fiercefemaleflyer	1	240	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C 10-12-16 (Preview) Today's page shows the value of flexibility in our concepts of recovery and happiness, as becoming attached to how things "should" be creates more work for us and can delay our journey. The author first thought a fairytale relationship would be possible if only their mate was sober. Then, after find...	Enigmatic	2	318	Oct 12, 2016 by Iamhere
	Oh Yeah - and then there is golf..... (Preview) Some of you know that I took up golf about a year ago. A bit of back-story - my father golfed m whole life. My brothers all learned to golf as kids. I was not allowed - I was pushed into girl things - tap dance (not my cup of tea), jazz dance (better but still....) and finally gymnastics (love, love, love!)...	Iamhere	6	489	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	sadniss ocrina18 (Preview) thanks to all of you...we are a good support group . i have only been here for a couple of weeks maybe...but have gained encouragement ...united we stand...	wildhorsehomimy	3	376	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Silver linings. (Preview) I'm in a bad mood today. About an hour ago I threw a tantrum at my computer and the cried like an overtired 3 year old while my daughter sat staring at me in horror. So I figure I'll write it out here and try to figure out where the silver linings are. Issue 1. I had to withdraw from a couple of subjects this seme...	MissM	9	417	Oct 11, 2016 by MissM
	what's a regular relationship like?? (Preview) OK .. so it's not Facebook official .. LOL .. it's official enough. I am seeing someone exclusively .. I love every min of it and boy oh boy it would be very easy to get consumed with this relationship. He hasn't met the kids yet and will next weekend. We have been seeing each other sporadically over the...	SerenityRUS	21	2149	Oct 11, 2016 by Green Eyes
	feeling the peace of the program more and more frequently (Preview) As I have probably mentioned already I have been working through step 3 with my sponsor and almost ready to move on to step four.Â As I work away at letting things go more and more I let things go and give them to HP I feel so much more peaceful.Â I'm not always peaceful all the time but I have long periods of...	KT2015	3	299	Oct 11, 2016 by hotrod
	Alanon Thinking (Preview) Isnt it great that we have this amazing way of thinking? Im very grateful today that I can see things differently, I can think differently, I can feel good about working towards making my life a good one. For me this good life comes from my own thought processes always. Its not about material possession...	el-cee	5	549	Oct 11, 2016 by e_i_m
	Head and emotions aren't in sync (Preview) I met my daughter for lunch today,and mentioned a trip to London I am thinking of planning when I have a week off work,she has a big corparate meeting in London which involves her stopping overnight and it is an event that will involve a lot of drinking,she has said she has told people now that she is cutti...	Marcusjohn	3	375	Oct 11, 2016 by Jerry F
	When AnyOne, Any Where Reaches..... (Preview) We are know it, we've all said it and we've all probably done this to the best of our ability - Let It Begin With Me.When anyone, anywhere,reaches out for help - let the hand ofAl-Anonand Alateen always be there, andLet It Begin With Me. I made plans last week with my active son for tonight. He was to have a d...	Iamhere	10	417	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Laugh for the day! (Preview) How many alanons does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They just detach and let it screw itself!!! -- Edited by kspec85 on Monday 10th of October 2016 05:44:30 PM	kspec85	12	570	Oct 11, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	No matter how old I get.... (Preview) My mom possibly being angry at me still gets to me. Without going into detail I didn't invite my mom to be part of a short visit with my in laws and I did so because she hasn't participated in any visits with them in the past few years. I didn't do it to hurt her or insult her I just didn't think it was important t...	KT2015	10	672	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Oct 11 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Today's reading deals with some of the survival techniques we may have used growing up or being part of the chaos of an alcoholic home. The writer speaks about 'not dealing' by escaping into a world of books and art works. He goes on to say how even when he found hims in Alanon mee...	yanksfan51	2	319	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	a little loopy (Preview) going through an emotional rollercoaster today. woke up in a good mood, almost estatic. played some upbeat music, ..then suddenly i was in tears,mourning the end of my marriage. entirely my choice and a good oe..BUT its soo sad. for so many reasons. 25 yrs in which i didnt grow,go to school or further m...	YARNCRAZY	5	327	Oct 11, 2016 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today 10-10-16 (Preview) Today's Hope for Today page has a tool that I have found to be extremely useful: using Step 1 backwards. It goes like this: I don't always correctly identify things I am powerless over or should not be trying to control. I do know, however, when I am feeling that things are unmanageable. When I am feeling...	Enigmatic	11	415	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	Rescue dog (Preview) I gained a new addition to my little family yesterday -- Bosco, the Boston Terrier. He's a 9 year old sassy and sophisticated senior and has merged seamlessly in with the other pets (another Boston and two cats). These sweet pets are so healing and therapeutic (and fun!). It's really hard for me to feel...	e_i_m	14	475	Oct 11, 2016 by lookingup
	short tolerance span. (Preview) Jeepers this disease has taken its toll. I am finding it incredibly difficult to find compassion or tolerance for the willfully ill. The loved one in question is so sick! So martyred and controlling and just bloody crazy. I don't know if recognising this is because they've gotten sicker or I've gotte...	a4l	7	529	Oct 11, 2016 by el-cee
	NewComer (Preview) Good Morning, I hope this is the correct place to post this introduction. As indicated, I am a newcomer to Alanon and so happy to have found this resource. I live in a small town with only a couple of meetings per week, not well attended even so. I took my 24 year old son to treatment this past Friday. i was fi...	RecoveryMom1491	7	375	Oct 10, 2016 by Jerry F
	Choosing to disengage (Preview) Today is our Canadian Thanksgiving. We have not heard from our son and do not expect to. That is his choice and we are learning to live with it. We were invited to a sister's outdoor cookout but chose not to go. She also has invited one nephew who is an 'in the closet' alcoholic. In the closet because no one i...	deacon	5	397	Oct 10, 2016 by Iamhere
	Wavering in my resolve to set boundaries (Preview) Dh and I decided we are going to give the twins a choice: sobriety and they can live here or not living a sober life out there. This will leave them homeless because after nearly 4 years of the stealing, drinking, lying, drugs, puking, etc other family members are done allowing the chaos in their homes as...	themoonandthestars	7	566	Oct 10, 2016 by lgnutah
	I would like to find a sponsor here (Preview) I cannot attend face to face meetings but would love to find a sponsor who can help guide me through the steps. How do I go about finding a sponsor? If it helps someone decide if they are a good fit for me-I have been coming to this online site for almost four years. I came because I finally realized that my (...	lgnutah	1	302	Oct 10, 2016 by hotrod
	Living the single life (Preview) I'm going on 3 mths being single for the 1st time in my life,wow,lol.i can laugh about it now for I always thought it to being impossible to do without a qualifier in my life,there's down days and good days,im finding everyday to be a healing day,it's totally diff,living alone and without any qualifier...	lookingup	12	548	Oct 10, 2016 by andromeda
	Tallinn Al Anon 23th birthday... (Preview) Yes today will be Tallinn Al Anon 23. Birthday and i as organizer of it feel bit scary as i am not sure in guidelines still....praying for serenity over myself...	kadriliisa	6	446	Oct 9, 2016 by hotrod
	Can't stop worrying? (Preview) I can't seem to stop worrying. I got home from a great day with my 13 yo daughter to find an empty house. None of my 3 boys are responding to my texts. That's a bad sign. Dh isn't here and I just don't feel strong enough to deal with drunk/high teens. It was just a week ago when someone dumped one of them in my yar...	themoonandthestars	6	445	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	And.....it's here - grateful (Preview) Today is the day...29 years ago, right about now, I woke up in a treatment center that I arrived at the night before. I arrived in a 'state' so, upon awakening on 10/8/87, I began a journey like no other. Had someone, anyone told me then I would be here now, I would have laughed in their face and probably s...	Iamhere	19	522	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Sunday Grattitudes n Stuff (Preview) I've been kind of morose and defeatist of late and I think gratitude might be the cure so, I'm trying to be on a gratitude binge. So far so good. This morning I woke reasonably early and lazed in bed for a good hour writing and daydreaming and being grateful for Sunday. I then suggested to my offspring that...	MissM	8	405	Oct 9, 2016 by Fooled
	Apple! (Preview) Is there anything more annoying than the sound of a sloppy drunk eating an apple? * Pauses to think **. Nope, don't think there is. As she quickly dashes off to another room to escape it!!	Calm Lady	13	353	Oct 9, 2016 by Calm Lady
	C2C Reading 10-9-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 9 speaks about our attitude toward God. It suggests that prior to program, many of us have had an adversarial relationship with God. We were engaged in the battle of wills and we didn't want God to win. We refused to accept God was all powerful and many therefore hit a huge, e...	hotrod	4	310	Oct 9, 2016 by tucker
	What do you think this means? (Preview) So my BF has been at rehab in Florida, he called me tonight and said someone asked him if I was going to come down for family week, where they integrate us etc into their treatment I guess, etc. He told me, ever since someone put the idea in his head, he was "all for it" as far as me coming down. I said of course I...	Desperateinnyc	3	319	Oct 9, 2016 by Iamhere
	Handling things well (Preview) AH was in touch to apologize and get back on track again and asked to come home. I offered to meet for coffee. He had me pick him up because he was drunk. I felt sorry for him. i think he really wants to do better. He has his plan of what to do. He said he would work on detoxing the rest of the day so he could drive ho...	sunmustshine	3	354	Oct 9, 2016 by Jerry F
	Husband gone to rehab - but what now? (Preview) After a pretty awful couple of months (years?) My husband has finally gone into rehab. He will be there for a month at least. I am so happy that he is finally sorting out his problem. The trouble is, things have been pretty horrible for me for a while now. I have learnt to detach from him and get on with my own...	TheWife	8	515	Oct 8, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	I am somewhat nervous. (Preview) It has been months since I have posted anything on here. I haven't been really practicing my program & haven't been to very many meetings. I feel kind of ashamed to admit that I may be backsliding into some of my old behaviors. I miss being on here but sometimes feel what I say may go on a deaf ear since I...	Hoot Nanny	2	358	Oct 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Progress (Preview) So today I did things a little differently. AH is working from home, and drinking while doing it. While part of me wanted to feel sorry for myself, I reminded myself that's his choice and what will my choice be? Always have that plan B :) I went to the gym, ran errands, cleaned house, all things that made me...	MidnightOwl	6	414	Oct 8, 2016 by LinSC
	Drama and Passion (Preview) Are they somehow linked? Why do some of us get away from our qualifiers and then find ourselves once again in a similar relationship? Do we miss the drama? Is it somehow "passion" we are really looking for? Are we drawn in by drama mistaking it for passion? Just thinking about this today, what do you thin...	LinSC	6	436	Oct 8, 2016 by a4l
	Courage To Change 8/10 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks of the miracles that result from finding al-anon and realising that we are not alone, and our situation is not hopeless after all. Learning that others have been through the awful emotions that come with trying to live with someone else's alcoholism- and that they have not only got...	MissM	2	293	Oct 8, 2016 by hotrod
	Funny little exercise in detachment. (Preview) I like Magpies. They're smart. When my daughter was just learning to toddle around our back yard, many moons ago, a magpie family started to visit each day when we were outside. Mum and dad would sit on the fence and watch while baby magpie and my teetering offspring chased each other very slowly around...	MissM	9	591	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Off topic... (Preview) Why in some posters posts and replies does their message have a black diamond with a white question mark in it after the sentences??	jojo8466	3	268	Oct 7, 2016 by jojo8466
	online sponsorship? (Preview) Does online sponsorship exist? I was just reading, and one of the important ways to work the program is by having a sponsor. I'm very isolated here and don't have access to Al-anon meetings. Working full time with kids makes is impossible to travel the 6-hr round trip it would be to the closest Al-anon m...	hiraeth	6	810	Oct 7, 2016 by DavidG
	More than depression (Preview) I am not happy. There I said it. I am not happy its more than just unhappiness its unrest. Its every morning not wanting to get out of bed because I have responsibilities to face that should not be just mine. My A is an emotional and physical cripple that just cannot handle any type of responsibility...	Fooled	8	576	Oct 7, 2016 by Fooled
	This too shall pass!! (Preview) I love that slogan, sounds so simple and can role of the tongue without much meaning but today I can see that everything passes, good times, bad times, the lot. My dis-ease raised its ugly head the last couple of days, got stuck in my own head and it was all me, me, me. Why cant I control the people in my life?...	el-cee	6	896	Oct 7, 2016 by KT2015
	New to al anon-not new to living with an alcoholic (Preview) My DH is an alcoholic. he has been "dry" since February (this time around). But even without alcohol I always found his moods erratic and unpredictable. sometimes he'd fall asleep mid sentence some days he'd be running around like crazy. i thought maybe he was bipolar. well six weeks ago I found out...	Prissykitty	4	449	Oct 7, 2016 by KennyFenderjazz
	The Fair (Preview) Please take this with the tongue and cheek fair reference it is intended..... I am in no way trying to detract from the alcoholic disease or lifestyle. Another poster referred to manipulation as a roller coaster and believe me I can understand. It was that post that started my brain along this track...	Doingmybest	5	348	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Cancelling Insurance (Preview) I just cancelled the insurance on abf's vehicle. He has been gone five days, I am the one paying for it, and its in my name. He is not even listed as a driver. I do not want the liability if he causes an accident driving under the influence. The vehicle is in his name though. Should I notify him, or assume that...	kspec85	6	415	Oct 7, 2016 by Iamhere
	Manipulation (Preview) That moment when you realize that you were just manipulated is eye opening. When the dust settles in the drama that is so not nessesary and you see the true function on the interaction is actually quick sickening. Do you react? Call a person out? Let it go? Of file it in the "I may need to use this later" m...	Crau	7	843	Oct 7, 2016 by 2HP
	Am I Doing This Wrong? (Preview) I'm trying to get myself out of tough moments like missing what seemed like a time of hope for my marriage/family, feeling lonely, or just sadness connected to the deep dark loss I feel, etc, by turning the focus on me. When I do it registers in my head as giving something to myself by focusing on me and tak...	sunmustshine	5	424	Oct 7, 2016 by 2HP
	mother relapsed, sister homeless, I'm struggling with surrender (Preview) I'm having a bit of difficulty here. Yesterday morning I received the sad news that my mother has relapsed. She'd been sober for about 6 months. I have ostracized myself from my entire family so have barely had contact with her for the past couple of years, so I learned that she has begun drinking again v...	hiraeth	5	1931	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/7/16 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how we learn to accept life on life's terms - and the rewards for practicing this in all our affairs. The reading discusses how many of us wanted change and expected change. Many of us had even tried to force change and felt we were stuck in our lives. Many of us are 'doers' - '...	Iamhere	1	256	Oct 7, 2016 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.