The material presented
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to exchange
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Ohhhh calm lady that post made me smile. Chewing noises can really iritate me so the thought of that sound made me laugh at my automatic reaction which was to shudder lol.
Hope you were able to escape the sound.
I too got a chuckle.....and chewing noises also make me cringe!!! I did get a visual and understand your escape!!! Thank goodness for our tools - we can withdraw when necessary to save our sanity! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for your posts, KT and IAH! I was chuckling as I wrote! Along with shuddering!
Yes thank goodness for our al-anon tools. I used to think I had to sit and tolerate everything. I needed it pointing out to me that it was ok to politely remove myself.
AH and I eat at different times in different rooms usually now. Which suits us both.
I work in a closed in area where we can hear what everyone eats - one of my co-workers chews CORN NUTS every morning - not corn nut cereal but the actual stinky, crunchy corn nut! Then we have a couple other two co-workers that pop popcorn every morning around 9 a.m and usually burn it so the whole room stinks! There is no escape there for me! Hearing those food noises is like nails down a chalkboard to me!
Oh my JoJo, you have my sympathy. That would be nails on a chalkboard for me too.
I think this is probably my defect not the person making the noise but some noises hurt my body. Some eating noises send shots of pain through me. Arghhh.
Some peoples voices also have that effect on me.
On the other end of the scale, I find the sound of dogs or cats eating makes me happy. A lovely heart warming sound.
I always think if it is THAT LOUD to us what must it sound like in their head with the actual chewing going on in their mouth???!!! How can they handle it.
And as for voices - when I was on the 2p.m. - 10p.m shift one of my co-workes had this nasal, nails on a chalkboard sounding voice. The job I do you always hear your partner talking in your ear on your headset - when I had to be partners with her my skin would literally crawl for 8 hours. Nice gal but damn!!!! So glad I switched shifts and don't have to listen to her anymore.
I have 3 shih-tzus. They are my loves. Always happy to see me, never an unkind word and so loving when they know I am sad or down. They have got me through many trying times lately. They are my serenity.
Your shih-tzus sound lovely. I hear you about them being your serenity.
For ten years of my life I worked in an open plan office with about 500 people all on the phone all the time. The noise must have been horrendous. Looking back I remember feeling ill a lot of the time. The clients we dealt with were verbally abusive, often lying too. Making threats of violence.
How I did it I don't know. I couldn't now.
Glad you were able to be free of the nails on chalkboard colleague.
This thread has brought up old memories of when I was a little kid. Sitting in utter fear at the dining table. Lunchtime. Mum had set the mealtime of 12.30 so myself, bro and sister would be sat at the the table at that time. Waiting waiting waiting. Mum getting more full of rage.
Waiting for what? Well for drunk dad to arrive so we could start lunch.
With my Al-anon knowledge I now know this was completely insane. A set up that would lead to disaster every time.
So we would wait and wait. Sometimes dad would appear which was a cue for a fight, or not appear to hours later, another cue for a fight. Gosh, the tension and fear in us kids was horrible.
I can't stand the chewing noises from anyone - sober or drunk. Let's also not leave out slurping and gulping. I swear I can still hear my mom gulp her beverages like a drowning woman. The best was when she would drink pop (that's what we call soda here in western New York State). She would not only gulp loudly , she would then try to muffle her burps.....which only led to a totally disgusting medley of sounds. Kind of funny, but really it was my issue, not hers.
Oh Calm Lady, I can feel the tension you describe at your childhood dining table waiting for dad. To think that all 3 of you developed eating disorders; not hard to connect those dots.
The good news is that you are 6 years sober and are working our program like a champ! I'm grateful to "know" you!
I too struggle with any/all chewing, slurping, etc. noises - no matter the source. I do know it's a me issue - it's so funny to know I am not alone in this aspect of living as well.
I can almost gag when folks start talking while chewing - the 2 combined make my tummy do flip-flops and somersaults.....so grateful that I can excuse myself today and not have to eye-roll, make a comment and/or cause drama over it!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks so much El and IAH, always such a comfort to know I am not the only one that certain things bother.
Thank you, I love love love our program, El. I feel so blessed. Dealing with my Al-anon issues has been harder than quitting alcohol.
In my quit group, a lot of us have said that changing our ingrained Codie behaviour was harder than quitting drinker. Also that it was actually more damaging to our lives than the daily drinking.
The alcohol had to be removed first then the underlying issue can be addressed.
IAH, I excuse myself whenever possible.
Strangely though. Just been out for lunch with couple people. Their eating had zero impact on me. Maybe because they have good table manners.
I, too, have had the experience of being bothered by certain sounds and smells. When I was living with active alcoholism and its effects, those triggers were very strong and could make me feel like jumping out of my skin. At the time, I didn't know about just walking away ... only running away, which I couldn't always do.
I've found, since the alcoholism is no longer in my life (just the after-effects,) and I have learned about Al Anon tools, those sounds and smells don't bother me nearly as much.
Calm Lady, I love how you were able to just walk away and not feel guilty or awkward about it. Great work!
-- Edited by Freetime on Sunday 9th of October 2016 11:13:37 AM
Thanks, Freetime. It has taken lots of practice to be able to walk away without guilt or awkwardness. When I first started doing it I felt physically sick in my stomach, full of anxiety. I was so terribly enmeshed with AH.
It now has no effect on me. I just do it. AH is also used to me going. I made no fuss or comment. I just go. I come back later if and when I want to.
AH used to pout and pull faces, make snarky comments about me removing myself. I steadfastly didn't react. So he stopped.
) and I have learned about Al Anon tools, those sounds and smells don't bother me nearly as much.