The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
TGIF - Thank Goodness it's Friday! Good morning MIP family.
Today's reading in Courage to Change is all about Step 10 and how it helps us continue to grow, learn and change. A line that really speaks to me says, "Much of what I find wrong in my life is related to my opinions -- that is, my prejudices, assumptions, self-righteous stances, attitudes."
It is also suggested that we stop searching for the truth, but instead only cease to cherish opinions. What a great concept and how true it is. Step 10 reminds us that we need to continue to take personal inventory and make frequent corrections, especially in the areas where we tend to repeat our mistakes.
The reminder -- It is no easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, even when I am sure that I want to change. The Tenth Step allows me to be aware of sliding back into faulty thinking. I don't have to abuse myself when it happens -- that doesn't help at all. By promptly admitting when I'm wrong, I am doing what I can to change.
The quote today is from ...In All Our Affairs -- "No longer must we accumulate burdens of guilt or resentment that will become heavier and more potent over time. Each day, each new moment can be an opportunity to clear the air and start again, fresh and free."
By the time I got to step 10, most of my insanity had been restored. I did struggle with slips in my new way of thinking that I am always watching for. It is like muscle memory in my brain - I know how I used to think and respond, and while it was often destructive, it was comfortable. I now know that was my defenses - my own personal wall that I put up - in my self-will effort to protect me. I did not want to be the cause, the blame, the scapegoat and more any longer. I learned in recovery that I was no unique, and bad things were not just happening to me - they are a part of life and happen to most.
So today, I enjoy reflecting on my day, my attitudes, my actions, my responses. I have dropped the wall and left the ego behind and can apologize or make changes as needed. I no longer project how a discussion, day, event or exchange will go - I do the best I can to be present. I am amazed at how pleasant so many things are that my mind made out to be way different.
The steps, especially step 10 helps me to stay in the middle of the boat and within my own hula-hoop is this step each day, one day at a time!
Make it a super great Friday all...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hi IAH Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important Step. I loved the quote at the beginning of the reading that stated:"Do not search for truth only cease cherishing opinions" What an insightful passage!!!.
I know that prior to program, I cherished all my opinion and tried to force them on everyone Because after all I WAS RIGHT.. Attending alanon meetings, where cross talk was not permitted, I could not offer my opinion, and I learned to "keep an open mind", I finally saw the value of respecting each persons process and that opinions were just that opinion" .
Step 10 along with 1,2 and 3 is a Step I work every day.. It helps to keep me on my toes and guarantees the fact that I will not be carrying the burden of yesterday into tomorrow-- I can have a "True Present".
Enjoy your day and Thanks for your service.
Great share Betty - I agree! I was 'taught' to focus on 1,2,3 in the AM while I'm collecting myself for the day and then 10 when I am closing down my day! Doing what others suggested has so helped me free myself from the muck and chaos of this disease...
We have a bye week for softball so I am free tonight....it's so strange to be home on a Friday and cooking dinner....but I am enjoying it!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
