The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading talks about the Al-Anon slogan of "Easy Does It". Before coming to Al-Anon, the insanity and chaos often was too much. We, without intent, did not consider that joining in, slamming doors, shouting, etc. was not the best way to handle already difficult situations. The reading points out that letting off a bit of steam with a raised voice may not be harmful, but it certainly can become a destructive habit. Many of us never paused long enough to consider if this is how we wanted to behave - we were just in a reactive mode. These negative reactions in difficult situations never got us to a desired result and certainly did not encourage us to feel good about ourselves.
Loud, angry words and actions demonstrated our frustrations and pushed away hope for peaceful solutions. Easy Does It helps us return to a rational state of mind, and when we use this to quiet our insides, it's easier to quiet our outsides as well.
Today's reminder -- I am seeking a saner approach to everything I encounter. The slogans can be valuable sources of sanity in chaotic situations. Today, if I am tempted to act out of anger or frustration, I will remember, "Easy Does It".
Today's quote -- "I will try to apply 'Easy Does It' to every incident that might increase the tension and cause an explosion." -- from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon
Before recovery, every exchange in my home included elevated emotions and voices. Communication was not lacking - it was non-existent. We talked over each other, got louder and louder and nothing was ever resolved, as it truly wasn't discussed. Each of us wanted to be right and each of us tried to be right by getting louder and louder. I consider the yelling and drama to fall into the drama/chaos category and I certainly did my fair share plus.
In Al-Anon, I learned that I always have choices. Even when I am emotional and feeling overwhelmed, I can use pause to gather my wits. Easy Does It gives me the comfort of feeling that any action I choose will be OK as long as it aligns with my truth today. My truth in recovery is I want to be a part of the solution, not part of the problem. When I use Easy Does It to calm my mind, heart and soul, most often the body follows. Choosing to respond instead of react changes the negative dynamics and helps me avoid becoming part of the problem.
I did not realize that not engaging is a healthy choice. Before recovery, I felt I always needed to JADE - Justify, Argue, Defend or Explain (and boy....oh boy - did I ever explain). I learned in recovery that not only is this a waste of energy and time, it's a destructive way to engage. Easy Does It helps me gather my wits to make better choices on what, if anything, I need to do or say!
Make it an awesome day all. It's very chilly here this morning - our first below 40 degrees day. My sweet dog is ready to go for her walk, but her momma wants to put that off until the sun comes out for a bit of warmth! (((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Hello IAH, Great slogan and principle. Prior to program when I was always in my "react" mode, without healthy tools.ranting and attempting to force solutions were my "go to tools".
Practicing the program (slogans first, because they were easier than the steps ), I found that this slogan like so many of them, have automatically became part of how I think and respond. Life is so much calmer and more pleasant today,thanks to program.
I love your new "signature quote". Prior to program I did not have the tools to allow my experiences to make me "better" I simply stored them deep within and harbored the anger, resentment and self pity generated by the experiences. Finally hitting bottom and entering program I found a better way.
Thanks Betty - I saw the quote, and for that day, in that moment it spoke to me....Love our tools - and more often than not, the slogans help me in the heat of the moment with more effort behind the scenes as I process my wants, needs and progress! Off to play ball in a few hours - gonna walk the dog in a bit. The sun's out and we've hit 50 degrees - beautiful time to take her out and about!
(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you so much, IAH for the effort and time you took to share the page and your ESH...and I'm with Betty, love your signature! It was chilly this morning, I don't blame you for hesitating...
I had seen the slogan "Easy Does It" before I came to AlAnon, and somehow come to associate it with Bachman Turner Overdrive and the smell of weed...crazy associations I blame on West Coast memories. I realize that this is a slogan that I have never tried to use in the program.
This page and your share remind me that the intended outcome of using the slogan is one that I certainly could put to use. I have a lingering tendency to push "launch" on the big missiles before I realize that most audiences and situations are not ready for, nor benefit from, a full verbal or conceptual assault or question battery.
It looks like I have found my focus point for next week, I look forward to put it to work as it was intended
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Oh Paul....you made me smile with reference to BTO and weed smell. At softball tonight, I was heading up to bat and there was a huge odor of weed!!! I've been playing for years and years and many party in the lot after games/between games for tourneys but I've never smelled it near/at the fields. The catcher, umpire and I all caught the scent at the same time and started looking around for the source. We never did find it - so strange indeed.
For me, the daily reader(s) set the stage often for things to consider, work on, practice or even write about. I came to the program very scattered in thinking, blaming and reacting. I don't like me like that anymore and believe God prefers me as a going-forward spiritual being. So - any reading that gives me cause for pause is a good one - and each one does, each day of the year no matter how many times through the book we go!
I can tell you that I walk in the AM for a reason - we did not go at all ... hard to get my mo-jo for a walk when I'm in the middle of other things! And - it was cool this morning but will be warmer tomorrow so out the door we go! Make it a great rest of week to all!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
