Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fooled · Fooled

Need some ESH for being Gaslighted. On the way to church yesterday my RAH saw me frantically searching through my wallet for my cash for the envelope. It wasn't there! I tore apart my pocketbook, looked in every nook and cranny of my hiding spots. Not there! I announced to him that my money wa...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

AH says he has nothing to hide and all I ever had to do was ask. He shares the password for his laptop. Of course his emails received were deleted but the sent mails were not. He emailing to meet women before and during rehab. One he even asked if he could meet her the same night. This man just said to me on the p...

joker · joker

I am still so numb and angry. The AFB went and got drunk. Expected that. He was sober for 3 months. He just went and got drunk Saterday night. Then he phoned his ex-wife who was happy to pick him up and he was gone all night till 8 am with her. I am numb and angry that he would just take off with his ex-wife and spe...

sarahGee · sarahGee

We are non denominational - - But who doesn't love puppies in costume. This is my 15 week old American Bulldog puppy, Dottie. -- Edited by sarahGee on Monday 31st of October 2016 11:31:16 PM

Cammi45 · Cammi45

Hello. A while ago some wonderful people posted about literature that may be helpful to me. I wrote down the names of those books, but I wanted some advice on maybe one good one in particular to start with. One, How Alanon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, stood out to me. Would this one...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- and thank you for all the well wishes regarding my move. We are starting to get settled and the whole house is calming down after a stressful end-of-summer and fall!! This reading is about how it may be possible to hear what is difficult for us to hear directly from family member...

Tinyhouse · Tinyhouse

I posted once before, in July when I was hoping things with my husband of 20 years would be fixed. Well, they didn't change and in August I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt pushed into it by him. Even after moving, I still hoped for him to "get it" and make changes. Instead, he continued drinking, sta...

lookingup · lookingup

Being careing ,having compassion for a loved one are great assets to have within us,it's when my careing and compassion goes over board to the extremes of putting me in harms way that also builds resentments in me towards my qaulifiers, ive never been able to not take it to the extremes of how to just be...

Emma123 · Emma123

Recently I have developed a crush on a man I know. The intensity of this infatuation has taken me by surprise. Didn't expect to feel like this again. I'm still living with ah partner so its highly unlikely anything can happen with this man, even if he was interested. I find myself spending too much time...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I had my first al-anon meeting last night - I found it hard to control my emotions & found myself tearfully explaining my situation to a group of people I had only just met. I don't even think I articulated it very well as I was sobbing. I feel embarrassed now & scared to go back. I could just pictur...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

So, one is white knuckling semi-sobriety. Refuses meetings after going to one a week ago. Still smoking pot, but very little. The other twin has his first pre-trial probation check tomorrow and he's AWOL. Left the house today at 2pm and no one has seen him since. He is with a friend and the friend has bee...

sarahGee · sarahGee

I was told in my f2f meetings that I should do my fourth step with a sponsor. I don't have a sponsor, and I don't think I'll have one for a long while because I can only get to meetings once a week. It's difficult to get to know people in such a large group, with only an hour to engage and short snippits of thoug...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

My brother has terminal cirrhosis or so they tell me. When I spoke to doctor, she said she didn't know how bad it was only time would tell. He might eventually need liver transplant. One of my relatives said: you should give your brother a living donor liver transplant from yourself. After everythi...

Dis-Ease91 · Dis-Ease91

Hello, I hope it is okay I am posting this. I am a recovering alcoholic with 2 children and a wife who has been going through the good, bad and worse for a long time. I have been a freight train that has moved through her life and my children's life destroying anything that would resemble stability. I have b...

sarahGee · sarahGee

It is so true. Turning to Al Anon, weather it's your CAL, listening to conference talks, going to a meeting or reaching out to others in the program, does help center you. I'm having a really difficult day. No details necessary. I was feeling down almost to the point of tears & something clicked i...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so mu...

Aprilc · Aprilc

In the past week I have had to say goodbye to 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren, and it has been a very painful process. Having lost another grandchild through the family court as a result of this disease 8 years ago I am proud to say that I have learned very quickly to "detach and let God",but had to have a str...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I came across this in another board and thought it posed an interesting topic. While I was with my XAH I could not see beyond my thoughts and feelings regarding the alcoholic. I was so focused on saving him because if I did somehow I would be rescued. What I did not realize was that I was also drowning an...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Step Five, has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your thoughts on this important step.Here is the link http:/...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

On the topic of fear (fitting on this day!), today's author admits that that was the primary emotion driving many decisions. When anything happened to alter an expected outcome, fears of the worst possible outcomes spurred panic, resulting in a crazy flurry of actions intended to ward off various i...

Frejya · Frejya

My husband has been in rehab for over a month. He will return soon, and I'm not sure what to do. We can only speak on occasion while he is in there. While I understand why they have the policy, it's left us with unresolved issues that would be better worked on while he has professionals around him. I live too...

Reakoblack · Reakoblack

Hello All, I'm having a little trouble these days. As usual I have caused some discomfort. I asked my qualifier if they could be nice towards me while their parent is in town. Once again. I "started it". I just don't know what it could be this time. We really haven't had a conversation in weeks. The last co...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, for the most part things have been going well. My AH is on medication for his alcoholism, anxiety, and depression, and has been sober since April. I have one, small, stupid thing that I'm struggling with. We have separate bedrooms (completely unrelated to any of this), and he used to keep the bo...

jocelgp · jocelgp

My husband has not been drinking for about 2 months now. Not that he has realised for himself but because I expressed my feeling that I don't think I can still live with drinking problem around. I am not stopping him, in fact I refuse to agree, disagree nor engage everytime he would bring out the topic o...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I did not grow up in an alcoholic home. We had our problems and levels of not facing reality, but it was not an alcoholic home. I believe that my dad's brother had a drinking problem. In fact, my dad told my brother, you drink too much. Of course my brother cut him out of his life after that, and demonized...

Rinn · Rinn

I feel like I am not holding it together very well yesterday and today. I know it will get better, but it still feels overwhelming at this moment. So I am bringing it here and dumping it on all of you lovely people because it really helps me to cope. I don't have many bad days anymore. I know it won't last. I k...

HockeyMom25 · HockeyMom25

I'm here mostly because I'm feeling alone again. I had been attending Al-Anon meetings pretty well, although I have yet to get a sponsor. (It seems like many in the meetings I have attended do not have sponsors/do not sponsor.) And I'm feeling a bit crazy tonight. My husband has been a heavy drinker fo...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about practicing gratitude and each day looking for things to be grateful for. The quote is from One Day at a Time: When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude." I know when I first came into pr...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Tough time staying strong this AM with the tools. AH not using alcohol for two weeks but high as a kite for any time not at work is angry because I told him to stay out after not showing up home Monday night and returning Tuesday with a lie that changes by the hour about how he was just too stoned and chose not t...

lookingup · lookingup

Hello all my alanon family here. aa versus alanon as in what to expect going to aa meetings? Instead of alanon meeting,only have aa meetings here in my small. Town,reason I'm asking since I'm alanon all the way,never drank or take narcotics.i know aa focuses on helping the alcoholic ,where alanon tea...

Worried Wife · Worried Wife

Hi all, I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks. I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this da...

gabigail · gabigail

Hi everyone- As some of you know my AS was diagnosed with cirrhosis and it's been an ongoing battle. My spouse is completely dependent on me. I've had help from others, from dog sitting to meals, etc. My AS needs help with the bathroom, mobility, and attention, as well as financial help. It's draining...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c speaks about the tendency we have to take offense to others hurtful/tactless remarks whilst convincing ourselves that our own hurtful behaviour is "justified", for example interfering or pointing out the failings of an alcoholic loved one over and over with imaginary impunity becau...

moonriver · moonriver

Recently, I have begun speaking my truth. In my home group meeting this week a member announced she was going to piggyback on another's share. I said, "Hi, I'm moonriver, and I believe piggy backing is a form of cross talk." The person began to pack her things to leave. I added "Correct me if I'm wrong....

Lys · Lys

My boyfriend graduation from a 30 day recovery program on Saturday morning. He was supposed to go into a Sober Living house on Monday. I picked him up Sat and took him out to breakfast. He ordered a beer. I laughed and asked if he was joking. He said "I'll be right back". He left me at the restaurant and walk...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi Everyone Well it's finally done. I have officially sold the home and I will living in Anthem, AZ in about one month. I'm happy but also scared...I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I have to thank my son for the encouragement and support getting me there. Even with everything going on with h...

Fooled · Fooled

My Rah is coming up on 30 days. He is going to IOP 3 nights per week. Is supposed to be doing on line meetings since he is not really able to walk. I don't think this is happening. However, Im sticking to my own side of the street. Everyday until today he has been angry about something. How is he being mi...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's daily reading is all about the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. The reading discusses how simple it is for us to slip back into old attitudes towards others. It talks about how our impatience with others can lead to impatience with ourselves as well as the world. Als...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I didn't know my brother was drinking. He lives in another town and he hid it from the extended family. He would call me and I would make small talk. I knew he had problems, I just thought he was severely depressed. I didn't know about the alcohol. Sometimes I would get angry and ask him to come up and see h...

Crau · Crau

I hate when my brain spirals out of control. Tonight I'm spinning about the past, how far I thought I had come and realizing that I'm kind of stuck where I was two years ago, just with a lot less anger and anxiety. I still want control over the uncontrollable. I want to feel acceptance without having to be p...

lilbirbby · lilbirbby

Hi! I'm new to this forum and al-anon. My boyfriend is struggling with an addiction to cocaine, alcohol, and painkillers that he has hidden from me for almost a year (I found out in September). Right now he's in an inpatient rehab program, and I'm stuck with the internal conflict about whether I am good...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

this job hunting is really getting old. I feel blue tonite. Overeating,looking for new projects. Trying with all my might not to make my new guy my project and get into bad old behavior. My ex escaped death by booze by hours again. his sister took him to the ER last week. So sad,what a waste he made of his li...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I can't get to a meeting today due to my work schedule, but man do I need one. I found out that one of my children committed a crime against someone in our community that I admire and respect. He used my car to commit the crime with his friends. I'm feeling devastated. The victim is willing to forgive him if h...

kittenpea · kittenpea

I'm a 43 year old female and all my life my father has drunk..I never ever knew my extended family growing up (who are very close knit) due to my fathers drinking habits he decided to cut everyone of his siblings and his parents out of his life never seeing that he was punishing me for his own failings. My m...

Lucy125 · Lucy125

I can't take it anymore. I worked so hard to get away from these people. Then in one week Brother's kids call me to fix all this. I cut off the nephews and niece. One nephew is in with a bad crowd, the other keeps losing jobs and wrecking cars. The niece was stealing from my brother while he was drunk. Ni...

sarahGee · sarahGee

After a lot of reflection, I have decided I want to approach my own drinking as well. Coming from a family of alcoholics, drinking is so normalized in every situation. Every event, every emotion - theres a drink or a drug for that. When I came here I was focused on healing the hurts in my heart from my fami...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

New here, but not new to alcoholism. ;) I am an ACOA, as is my husband. Weve been attending ala non recently (been to 5-6 meetings) Not sure how we got away without having issues with alcohlic drinking (maybe it skips a generation? I'm aware that we have psychological scars from our parents) , but now our...

Hopingforamiracle · Hopingforamiracle

To make a long story short, my mother has been an alcoholic 28 years of my 30 years of life. My father raised me and raised me the best he could as a single dad. My mother exposed me to her alcoholism at an early age and throughout my life it has been a roller coaster of good times and very bad times. I have save...

Junenine · Junenine

hello, out there. so i made my first program call about a week ago or so and the woman just called me back today. and it was GOOD. really good. i am so grateful. she was so sensible, smart, and helpful. i started meetings at the end of 2014 but feel like this time is a new beginning with a new level of seri...

Mrsoconnor · Mrsoconnor

[Moderator pasted in from Megan's Bio] Hi, My name is Megan. I am 26 years old and I need your help. Years ago after my oldest son passed away I became addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine and alcohol. I've been sober from methamphetamine and cocaine for 6 years. I met my fiance 2 years ago. He had gotte...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

My AH came back...again...wanting to get sober and be part of our family. He really did things right this time. He's working his program and trying new things. I try not to be hopeful but it happens on a subconscious level though I try to just be. Monday night he just doesn't come home. The issue was he had...

ItsAllAboutMeMC · ItsAllAboutMeMC

My ex ABF and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago. It ended badly with a big fight about a week later he text me about some money a friend gave me to give to him and I said I had sent it with another friend to give to him. I then text him back that I felt sick about how we ended things and that I wanted to talk but only when he...

Lostandsad · Lostandsad

I'm sure my story is not new. While I'm familiar with the 12-steps, I am at a complete loss re how to apply them to my current situation and how to deal with what is happening in my life. My husband is an alcoholic. He quit drinking 'for me' (he says -- because he doesn't believe he has a problem) a couple of...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's quote - "I can learn to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God, if I am willing to be continually conscious of God's nearness." --- from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon Today's Reminder - "I may not have everything I want, but today I have everything I need. I will look for evidenc...

el-cee · el-cee

Im sorry to those of you who have felt I have been harsh with my words. I do seem to get like this from time to time. I become narrow minded in my recovery and expect others to get what Im talking about or to be able to hear my point of view. Due to my own sickness I also become triggered by certain issues, (the Mo...

Aerin · Aerin

He has been going to AA every evening. He has been super proud and maybe thinking easier than he thought.. he was so inspired by others stories, and even started talking to others. Tomorrow would have been his 30 days..his green chip. And today I come home and he had been drinking. AND he went to a meeting...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes that some experience the greatest difficulty when working Step 1: "admitted we were powerless". For others, Step 2 is more difficult as we admit that our own behavior may not always be sane. An example is given of behavior that is irrational and self-defeating: taking issue wi...

Dar · Dar

Glad I found this site. Thanks for sharing. I have been married 37 years and recently filed for divorce. I have it somewhat on hold, holding out for hope. Hubby has been in treatment 3 times in the last year, and each time he gets outs, he wastes no time buying a bottle of booze. Anyway, last night he got a D...

simplelife · simplelife

New here. Feel like i was hit by a train by my alcolohlic ex. Been reading through alot about alcoholism, have learned more than i ever cared to know in the past. One question though. I read alot of posting stating that alcoloism is cunning and baffling? Why is that?

interstellarvagabond · interstellarvagabond

So my mom is now sober for three years, my uncle is on and off sober, my grandfather is sober, most of the addicts in my life have recovered but I haven't. I still HATE alcohol. When I was a little kid I didn't even wanna touch the bottles my mom asked me to bring her. It's been years since I've seen anything se...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Gaslighting (Preview) Need some ESH for being Gaslighted. On the way to church yesterday my RAH saw me frantically searching through my wallet for my cash for the envelope. It wasn't there! I tore apart my pocketbook, looked in every nook and cranny of my hiding spots. Not there! I announced to him that my money wa...	Fooled	20	759	Nov 1, 2016 by Fooled
	Tinder and Xfating.com (Preview) AH says he has nothing to hide and all I ever had to do was ask. He shares the password for his laptop. Of course his emails received were deleted but the sent mails were not. He emailing to meet women before and during rehab. One he even asked if he could meet her the same night. This man just said to me on the p...	sunmustshine	10	590	Nov 1, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Betrayal (Preview) I am still so numb and angry. The AFB went and got drunk. Expected that. He was sober for 3 months. He just went and got drunk Saterday night. Then he phoned his ex-wife who was happy to pick him up and he was gone all night till 8 am with her. I am numb and angry that he would just take off with his ex-wife and spe...	joker	7	1073	Nov 1, 2016 by lookingup
	A smile for you (Preview) We are non denominational - - But who doesn't love puppies in costume. This is my 15 week old American Bulldog puppy, Dottie. -- Edited by sarahGee on Monday 31st of October 2016 11:31:16 PM	sarahGee	15	461	Nov 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Literature (Preview) Hello. A while ago some wonderful people posted about literature that may be helpful to me. I wrote down the names of those books, but I wanted some advice on maybe one good one in particular to start with. One, How Alanon Works for Families and Friends of Alcoholics, stood out to me. Would this one...	Cammi45	8	444	Nov 1, 2016 by Cammi45
	Hope for Today Nov 1 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- and thank you for all the well wishes regarding my move. We are starting to get settled and the whole house is calming down after a stressful end-of-summer and fall!! This reading is about how it may be possible to hear what is difficult for us to hear directly from family member...	yanksfan51	2	373	Nov 1, 2016 by Iamhere
	Rough day (Preview) I posted once before, in July when I was hoping things with my husband of 20 years would be fixed. Well, they didn't change and in August I filed for divorce and moved out. I felt pushed into it by him. Even after moving, I still hoped for him to "get it" and make changes. Instead, he continued drinking, sta...	Tinyhouse	4	461	Nov 1, 2016 by yanksfan51
	Careing and compassionate (Preview) Being careing ,having compassion for a loved one are great assets to have within us,it's when my careing and compassion goes over board to the extremes of putting me in harms way that also builds resentments in me towards my qaulifiers, ive never been able to not take it to the extremes of how to just be...	lookingup	8	432	Nov 1, 2016 by lookingup
	Dealing with a crush (Preview) Recently I have developed a crush on a man I know. The intensity of this infatuation has taken me by surprise. Didn't expect to feel like this again. I'm still living with ah partner so its highly unlikely anything can happen with this man, even if he was interested. I find myself spending too much time...	Emma123	20	3183	Nov 1, 2016 by Emma123
	Embarrassed (Preview) I had my first al-anon meeting last night - I found it hard to control my emotions & found myself tearfully explaining my situation to a group of people I had only just met. I don't even think I articulated it very well as I was sobbing. I feel embarrassed now & scared to go back. I could just pictur...	SaraLin	27	793	Nov 1, 2016 by Desperateinnyc
	Update on twins (Preview) So, one is white knuckling semi-sobriety. Refuses meetings after going to one a week ago. Still smoking pot, but very little. The other twin has his first pre-trial probation check tomorrow and he's AWOL. Left the house today at 2pm and no one has seen him since. He is with a friend and the friend has bee...	themoonandthestars	2	363	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	4th step (Preview) I was told in my f2f meetings that I should do my fourth step with a sponsor. I don't have a sponsor, and I don't think I'll have one for a long while because I can only get to meetings once a week. It's difficult to get to know people in such a large group, with only an hour to engage and short snippits of thoug...	sarahGee	6	556	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	I feel like a bad person.... (Preview) My brother has terminal cirrhosis or so they tell me. When I spoke to doctor, she said she didn't know how bad it was only time would tell. He might eventually need liver transplant. One of my relatives said: you should give your brother a living donor liver transplant from yourself. After everythi...	Lucy125	11	547	Oct 31, 2016 by Lucy125
	Adult Children of Alcoholics (Looking for a new perspective) (Preview) Hello, I hope it is okay I am posting this. I am a recovering alcoholic with 2 children and a wife who has been going through the good, bad and worse for a long time. I have been a freight train that has moved through her life and my children's life destroying anything that would resemble stability. I have b...	Dis-Ease91	17	618	Oct 31, 2016 by DavidG
	Fellowship (Preview) It is so true. Turning to Al Anon, weather it's your CAL, listening to conference talks, going to a meeting or reaching out to others in the program, does help center you. I'm having a really difficult day. No details necessary. I was feeling down almost to the point of tears & something clicked i...	sarahGee	5	423	Oct 31, 2016 by sarahGee
	Counting on AH just dosen't work even though he's dry (Preview) My AH acted selfishly towards me and for some reason I was surprised. Thinkng about it now, it just seems silly. I had no reason to expect him to support me when it was even slightly inconvenient or uncomfortable for him - but still I had expectations and set myself up for didappointment. Things are so mu...	Taraxacum	14	987	Oct 31, 2016 by Taraxacum
	LOSING MY LOVED ONES' ONE BY ONE (Preview) In the past week I have had to say goodbye to 2 daughters and 4 grandchildren, and it has been a very painful process. Having lost another grandchild through the family court as a result of this disease 8 years ago I am proud to say that I have learned very quickly to "detach and let God",but had to have a str...	Aprilc	4	409	Oct 31, 2016 by Lucy125
	"What are my needs beyond the needs of the alcoholic or addict?" (Preview) I came across this in another board and thought it posed an interesting topic. While I was with my XAH I could not see beyond my thoughts and feelings regarding the alcoholic. I was so focused on saving him because if I did somehow I would be rescued. What I did not realize was that I was also drowning an...	SerenityRUS	11	1058	Oct 31, 2016 by sarahGee
	Step Board Step 5 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery Step Five, has been posted to the Step Work Board. Please share your thoughts on this important step.Here is the link http:/...	hotrod	0	433	Oct 31, 2016 by hotrod
	C2C 10-31-16 (Preview) On the topic of fear (fitting on this day!), today's author admits that that was the primary emotion driving many decisions. When anything happened to alter an expected outcome, fears of the worst possible outcomes spurred panic, resulting in a crazy flurry of actions intended to ward off various i...	Enigmatic	2	538	Oct 31, 2016 by hotrod
	Trying to figure out where I stand. (Preview) My husband has been in rehab for over a month. He will return soon, and I'm not sure what to do. We can only speak on occasion while he is in there. While I understand why they have the policy, it's left us with unresolved issues that would be better worked on while he has professionals around him. I live too...	Frejya	21	689	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Just sad. (Preview) Hello All, I'm having a little trouble these days. As usual I have caused some discomfort. I asked my qualifier if they could be nice towards me while their parent is in town. Once again. I "started it". I just don't know what it could be this time. We really haven't had a conversation in weeks. The last co...	Reakoblack	3	323	Oct 31, 2016 by Iamhere
	Letting go of one little thing (Preview) So, for the most part things have been going well. My AH is on medication for his alcoholism, anxiety, and depression, and has been sober since April. I have one, small, stupid thing that I'm struggling with. We have separate bedrooms (completely unrelated to any of this), and he used to keep the bo...	SpiderArcana	7	493	Oct 31, 2016 by el-cee
	AH just informed me he will be with his mom on Christmas and New Year (Preview) My husband has not been drinking for about 2 months now. Not that he has realised for himself but because I expressed my feeling that I don't think I can still live with drinking problem around. I am not stopping him, in fact I refuse to agree, disagree nor engage everytime he would bring out the topic o...	jocelgp	4	465	Oct 31, 2016 by Calm Lady
	60 percent of alcoholics do not have a family history (Preview) I did not grow up in an alcoholic home. We had our problems and levels of not facing reality, but it was not an alcoholic home. I believe that my dad's brother had a drinking problem. In fact, my dad told my brother, you drink too much. Of course my brother cut him out of his life after that, and demonized...	Lucy125	8	521	Oct 30, 2016 by maryjane
	I feel really down today (Preview) I feel like I am not holding it together very well yesterday and today. I know it will get better, but it still feels overwhelming at this moment. So I am bringing it here and dumping it on all of you lovely people because it really helps me to cope. I don't have many bad days anymore. I know it won't last. I k...	Rinn	11	520	Oct 30, 2016 by pinkchip
	Not sure what my next step is (Preview) I'm here mostly because I'm feeling alone again. I had been attending Al-Anon meetings pretty well, although I have yet to get a sponsor. (It seems like many in the meetings I have attended do not have sponsors/do not sponsor.) And I'm feeling a bit crazy tonight. My husband has been a heavy drinker fo...	HockeyMom25	3	449	Oct 30, 2016 by Iamhere
	C2C Reading for 10-30-2016 (Preview) The C2C reading for October 30 speaks about practicing gratitude and each day looking for things to be grateful for. The quote is from One Day at a Time: When things look blackest, it is within my power to brighten them with the light of understanding and gratitude." I know when I first came into pr...	hotrod	5	424	Oct 30, 2016 by El
	Insults from IOP (Preview) Tough time staying strong this AM with the tools. AH not using alcohol for two weeks but high as a kite for any time not at work is angry because I told him to stay out after not showing up home Monday night and returning Tuesday with a lie that changes by the hour about how he was just too stoned and chose not t...	sunmustshine	9	654	Oct 30, 2016 by a4l
	AA versus Alanon (Preview) Hello all my alanon family here. aa versus alanon as in what to expect going to aa meetings? Instead of alanon meeting,only have aa meetings here in my small. Town,reason I'm asking since I'm alanon all the way,never drank or take narcotics.i know aa focuses on helping the alcoholic ,where alanon tea...	lookingup	7	644	Oct 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Motel 6, here I come (Preview) Hi all, I am I the process of starting a new job and when I start, I have decided to stay at a motel for one-two weeks. I am getting off this roller coaster ride, and the ridiculous arguments over nothing. My AH is trying to stop drinking by himself, and he and I both know that'll never work anymore. To this da...	Worried Wife	10	538	Oct 29, 2016 by Jerry F
	Dealing with 24 hr. Care of sick AS- losing serenity (Preview) Hi everyone- As some of you know my AS was diagnosed with cirrhosis and it's been an ongoing battle. My spouse is completely dependent on me. I've had help from others, from dog sitting to meals, etc. My AS needs help with the bathroom, mobility, and attention, as well as financial help. It's draining...	gabigail	9	467	Oct 29, 2016 by Lucy125
	Courage To Change 29/10 (Preview) Today's c2c speaks about the tendency we have to take offense to others hurtful/tactless remarks whilst convincing ourselves that our own hurtful behaviour is "justified", for example interfering or pointing out the failings of an alcoholic loved one over and over with imaginary impunity becau...	MissM	6	425	Oct 29, 2016 by Kaylapenni
	How to know if a particular meeting is right or wrong for you (Preview) Recently, I have begun speaking my truth. In my home group meeting this week a member announced she was going to piggyback on another's share. I said, "Hi, I'm moonriver, and I believe piggy backing is a form of cross talk." The person began to pack her things to leave. I added "Correct me if I'm wrong....	moonriver	7	469	Oct 29, 2016 by 2HP
	When is enough, enough? (Preview) My boyfriend graduation from a 30 day recovery program on Saturday morning. He was supposed to go into a Sober Living house on Monday. I picked him up Sat and took him out to breakfast. He ordered a beer. I laughed and asked if he was joking. He said "I'll be right back". He left me at the restaurant and walk...	Lys	20	911	Oct 29, 2016 by Iamhere
	It's finally over (Preview) Hi Everyone Well it's finally done. I have officially sold the home and I will living in Anthem, AZ in about one month. I'm happy but also scared...I know in my heart it is the right thing to do. I have to thank my son for the encouragement and support getting me there. Even with everything going on with h...	Cathyinaz	20	737	Oct 29, 2016 by a4l
	Anger? Manipulation? Dry Drunk? (Preview) My Rah is coming up on 30 days. He is going to IOP 3 nights per week. Is supposed to be doing on line meetings since he is not really able to walk. I don't think this is happening. However, Im sticking to my own side of the street. Everyday until today he has been angry about something. How is he being mi...	Fooled	16	2881	Oct 28, 2016 by Fooled
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/28/16 (Preview) Today's daily reading is all about the golden rule - treat others as you would like to be treated. The reading discusses how simple it is for us to slip back into old attitudes towards others. It talks about how our impatience with others can lead to impatience with ourselves as well as the world. Als...	Iamhere	6	466	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	trying really hard not to provoke (Preview) I didn't know my brother was drinking. He lives in another town and he hid it from the extended family. He would call me and I would make small talk. I knew he had problems, I just thought he was severely depressed. I didn't know about the alcohol. Sometimes I would get angry and ask him to come up and see h...	Lucy125	6	422	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Spinning and spiraling (Preview) I hate when my brain spirals out of control. Tonight I'm spinning about the past, how far I thought I had come and realizing that I'm kind of stuck where I was two years ago, just with a lot less anger and anxiety. I still want control over the uncontrollable. I want to feel acceptance without having to be p...	Crau	4	373	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Help me out! cocaine alcohol painkillers recovery (Preview) Hi! I'm new to this forum and al-anon. My boyfriend is struggling with an addiction to cocaine, alcohol, and painkillers that he has hidden from me for almost a year (I found out in September). Right now he's in an inpatient rehab program, and I'm stuck with the internal conflict about whether I am good...	lilbirbby	4	3911	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	off topic (Preview) this job hunting is really getting old. I feel blue tonite. Overeating,looking for new projects. Trying with all my might not to make my new guy my project and get into bad old behavior. My ex escaped death by booze by hours again. his sister took him to the ER last week. So sad,what a waste he made of his li...	YARNCRAZY	3	322	Oct 28, 2016 by Iamhere
	Weepy today (Preview) I can't get to a meeting today due to my work schedule, but man do I need one. I found out that one of my children committed a crime against someone in our community that I admire and respect. He used my car to commit the crime with his friends. I'm feeling devastated. The victim is willing to forgive him if h...	themoonandthestars	13	488	Oct 28, 2016 by el-cee
	Alcoholic Father Dying (Preview) I'm a 43 year old female and all my life my father has drunk..I never ever knew my extended family growing up (who are very close knit) due to my fathers drinking habits he decided to cut everyone of his siblings and his parents out of his life never seeing that he was punishing me for his own failings. My m...	kittenpea	7	1882	Oct 28, 2016 by PatG1025
	Brother's Power of Attorney says he's terminal with cirrhosis (Preview) I can't take it anymore. I worked so hard to get away from these people. Then in one week Brother's kids call me to fix all this. I cut off the nephews and niece. One nephew is in with a bad crowd, the other keeps losing jobs and wrecking cars. The niece was stealing from my brother while he was drunk. Ni...	Lucy125	5	417	Oct 27, 2016 by PatG1025
	Double winners (Preview) After a lot of reflection, I have decided I want to approach my own drinking as well. Coming from a family of alcoholics, drinking is so normalized in every situation. Every event, every emotion - theres a drink or a drug for that. When I came here I was focused on healing the hurts in my heart from my fami...	sarahGee	8	1071	Oct 27, 2016 by PatG1025
	Identical twin addicts. (Preview) New here, but not new to alcoholism. ;) I am an ACOA, as is my husband. Weve been attending ala non recently (been to 5-6 meetings) Not sure how we got away without having issues with alcohlic drinking (maybe it skips a generation? I'm aware that we have psychological scars from our parents) , but now our...	themoonandthestars	16	874	Oct 27, 2016 by PatG1025
	Prayers needed (Preview) To make a long story short, my mother has been an alcoholic 28 years of my 30 years of life. My father raised me and raised me the best he could as a single dad. My mother exposed me to her alcoholism at an early age and throughout my life it has been a roller coaster of good times and very bad times. I have save...	Hopingforamiracle	4	447	Oct 27, 2016 by Jerry F
	my first program call (Preview) hello, out there. so i made my first program call about a week ago or so and the woman just called me back today. and it was GOOD. really good. i am so grateful. she was so sensible, smart, and helpful. i started meetings at the end of 2014 but feel like this time is a new beginning with a new level of seri...	Junenine	5	396	Oct 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Please help me (Preview) [Moderator pasted in from Megan's Bio] Hi, My name is Megan. I am 26 years old and I need your help. Years ago after my oldest son passed away I became addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine and alcohol. I've been sober from methamphetamine and cocaine for 6 years. I met my fiance 2 years ago. He had gotte...	Mrsoconnor	6	435	Oct 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	This was new (Preview) My AH came back...again...wanting to get sober and be part of our family. He really did things right this time. He's working his program and trying new things. I try not to be hopeful but it happens on a subconscious level though I try to just be. Monday night he just doesn't come home. The issue was he had...	sunmustshine	11	494	Oct 27, 2016 by sarahGee
	I wish it did not hurt so much (Preview) My ex ABF and I broke up almost 2 weeks ago. It ended badly with a big fight about a week later he text me about some money a friend gave me to give to him and I said I had sent it with another friend to give to him. I then text him back that I felt sick about how we ended things and that I wanted to talk but only when he...	ItsAllAboutMeMC	8	500	Oct 27, 2016 by ItsAllAboutMeMC
	Seeking guidance and support (Preview) I'm sure my story is not new. While I'm familiar with the 12-steps, I am at a complete loss re how to apply them to my current situation and how to deal with what is happening in my life. My husband is an alcoholic. He quit drinking 'for me' (he says -- because he doesn't believe he has a problem) a couple of...	Lostandsad	3	497	Oct 27, 2016 by hotrod
	Courage to Change (C2C) 10/27/16 (Preview) Today's quote - "I can learn to avail myself of the immense, inexhaustible power of God, if I am willing to be continually conscious of God's nearness." --- from One Day at a Time in Al-Anon Today's Reminder - "I may not have everything I want, but today I have everything I need. I will look for evidenc...	Iamhere	2	340	Oct 27, 2016 by Iamhere
	Amends (Preview) Im sorry to those of you who have felt I have been harsh with my words. I do seem to get like this from time to time. I become narrow minded in my recovery and expect others to get what Im talking about or to be able to hear my point of view. Due to my own sickness I also become triggered by certain issues, (the Mo...	el-cee	10	567	Oct 26, 2016 by serenity47
	He was a day away from 30 days sober.. (Preview) He has been going to AA every evening. He has been super proud and maybe thinking easier than he thought.. he was so inspired by others stories, and even started talking to others. Tomorrow would have been his 30 days..his green chip. And today I come home and he had been drinking. AND he went to a meeting...	Aerin	6	472	Oct 26, 2016 by maryjane
	10-26-16 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's reading notes that some experience the greatest difficulty when working Step 1: "admitted we were powerless". For others, Step 2 is more difficult as we admit that our own behavior may not always be sane. An example is given of behavior that is irrational and self-defeating: taking issue wi...	Enigmatic	7	409	Oct 26, 2016 by Jerry F
	Almost divorced...one final thing I need help with (Preview) Glad I found this site. Thanks for sharing. I have been married 37 years and recently filed for divorce. I have it somewhat on hold, holding out for hope. Hubby has been in treatment 3 times in the last year, and each time he gets outs, he wastes no time buying a bottle of booze. Anyway, last night he got a D...	Dar	7	473	Oct 26, 2016 by Cathyinaz
	cunning and baffling? (Preview) New here. Feel like i was hit by a train by my alcolohlic ex. Been reading through alot about alcoholism, have learned more than i ever cared to know in the past. One question though. I read alot of posting stating that alcoloism is cunning and baffling? Why is that?	simplelife	24	748	Oct 26, 2016 by Freetime
	hate/scared of alcohol alcohol scared of alcohol afraid of alcohol (Preview) So my mom is now sober for three years, my uncle is on and off sober, my grandfather is sober, most of the addicts in my life have recovered but I haven't. I still HATE alcohol. When I was a little kid I didn't even wanna touch the bottles my mom asked me to bring her. It's been years since I've seen anything se...	interstellarvagabond	6	6051	Oct 26, 2016 by Aerin
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.