Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

a4l · a4l

Just a quick reminder to myself as per the subject line. Choosing a marriage to an alcoholic kept me safe from dealing with life. Turns out life is inevitable and must eventually be confronted. However this time around, as i face life again, as life intends, i give myself permission to be excused from...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So it has been a rough week. I wasn't able to attend online meetings or even attend the one in person meeting (my first one) last week bc I caught the flu. Awful. Anyways my active A was out of town for work and I heard from him off and on Friday, but Friday evening- nothing. All day Saturday- nothing (I didn'...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking. Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With t...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Jealousy is a skin I would like to shed, acceptance and understanding is a much better look. I often read about how other Al-anoners feel jealousy with their qualifiers frequent attendance at AA, well I am starting to feel some of that now myself. Between AA meetings and her less than accepting famil...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Boardhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63332514/alanon-s...

Mikhail · Mikhail

I was listening to a recovery related podcast this afternoon and one of the speakers said [and I paraphrase] "When I try to control things in situations when I have no control, I have no energy to change the things that I can change." I hadn't thought about it that way. It makes a lot of sense. How can I be pr...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became i...

el-cee · el-cee

I used to think it meant I had to get to a place where I judged the person worthy of wiping the slate clean. Now this would take a whole lot of apologies and a bit of grovelling if possible. Sworn signed statements that they would never ever do the offence to me again and they would only be worthy of my forgive...

Marie71 · Marie71

Along with living with an AH for 20 yrs, he was also abusive mentally and emotionally. I find that the stupidest things trigger me. Today, the woman I live with said she was going to meet her husband for lunch and then go to the store. I wasn't mad or anything, but I could feel my anxiety going up and star...

hotrod · hotrod

I read my husband's inventory book a few days ago. I don't trust my husband because I know he has cheated on me in the past, but he has always tried to deny it. So occasionally I snoop through his stuff. I know I shouldn't have and wish now that I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss! So, I went looking through o...

a4l · a4l

Well were in a new limbo. Its still a better one than the old one and im grateful for the one day at a time philosophy. Actually there's not a lot of choice, im flying by the seat of my pants. Deep down, I have complete faith that the God of my understanding has me and my kids with ease. Closer to the surface,...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading focuses on the positive side of accepting and facing our defects and mistakes. It suggests that we ask for assistance to let go of our old negative tools such as self hate and impatience with ourselves and instead remember that our mistakes "prepare us to make more", ie we are const...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH and I had been getting along very well lately. I had been working my program pretty well and I have even seen it rub off on him a bit. We just had a fantastic vacation together and I came home feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time. And then yesterday instead of going to work...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

I am no botanist, but once I was told, that in order to keep a rose bush happy, you need to trim the unhealthy branches. Failure to do this, the rose will focus its energy trying to repair the damage, depleting it's energy, robbing the healthy portion of the rose the energy it needs to thrive. This will...

DavidG · DavidG

I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books... ...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony. i grew up close to an old gold mining town-...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

How do the online meetings work?

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OK .. so I already know I don't feel good and engaging the ligress is the whole ohhhh today is not the day my friend. Let's just overly qualify and say not this week .. LOL! I'm having a difficult time with expectation and change .. LOL .. this is going to sound so funny this is literally how my brain works....

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

I would be grateful if some of you would share a very potted version of your journeys with me please. I am new to this and whilst I fully appreciate every journey is different, I would just like to have some idea of what I might expect. We are new to this - just realised at Christmas husband is alcoholic a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is another great one!! I'm going to start with the Reminder - I like it 'that much'.... Today's Reminder -- Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life. Today's Quote from Helen Keller -- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run t...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Hello, scared to go to my first meeting. Any tips?

T-ray · T-ray

Hi all- I'm not sure how this works so I figured I'd reach out for some advice. I've tried an al-anon meeting once, but never a virtual one. My interest in them fluctuates with my brothers using. He's been an addict for 9 years, and after a three month sobriety streak he relapsed two days ago. I've be...

MovieGal · MovieGal

I have been attending 2 meetings a week for a while now and wish I could make some friends in program. Sometimes I share at meetings and sometimes I just listen. I have tried sitting next to people and remembering their names. Some of them remember mine. I have gone up to people and said that their sha...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading from Courage to Change discusses God's will vs. our will. The reading starts out by suggesting that when we feel our serenity slipping away while a war in waged within our minds, and loud voices are pushing one way or another - chances are good that we've gone into 'My Will Mode'. While...

Mikhail · Mikhail

My AF emailed today to say that he and my step-mother are separating. I don't have all the details, but I knew something like this was coming. I don't know if the decision was mutual or otherwise. I have a lot of respect for my step-mother and I wouldn't blame her at all if she was just fed up with my father's...

Ceelee · Ceelee

It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm trying to work my program every day. I'm learning alot about myself and also still have alot of questions. My AH has been sober and in recovery for about 3 months or so. We are both trying but have a very long way to go. One of the revelations about myself that I'm dea...

a4l · a4l

Ok weve done it we're out. Landed well, though the real works about to unfold. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts.

Ceelee · Ceelee

Sorry if that's a bit up front but I can't think of a better way to say it. In working the steps, I realize that at least 2 people that I need to apologize too have past. How do I or do even do I make amends? Thank you for any suggestion.

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes a place filled with discouragement, tormented and circular thoughts, apprehension and confusion. This is the place many of us lived in before we found the miracle of AlAnon. Today's Reminder: Every meeting we attend, page we read, and fellow member we share with takes us far...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

We're all here because our physical, emotional and spiritual well being has been affected by the alcoholism of someone close to us and by working the program we will find serenity and sanity...For me, I have found serenity and sanity, I know this because I'm in a peaceful state and I'm living in realit...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So I have been doing a lot of thinking about "detachment with love" I realized last week that I was practicing detachment before I knew the term, but it was more like "detachment with middle finger". I have set a boundary with my A that he can't "live here" until he is "sober". I put quotes bc I am not certai...

WrenT · WrenT

We've been married 12 years, have 3 children, and he's been an alcoholic for the past 3.5 years. It all started with him being on workman's comp for 6 months, and then losing his job shortly after getting back to work. Then a length of unemployment, followed by a crappy low-paying non-consistent job...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

So this past week my stepson's half brother who is an addict and a friend of my AS, overdosed on Xanax and Fantanyl. After a huge scare of organ failure and heart damage he was sent to a hospital that specializes in heart issues. His organs were not failing but his heart did have damage to it. He was release...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

For sure I need a meeting. I haven't posted for a long time. I am so glad that I figured out how to use the mobile app again. Anyhow I have been through some stuff. Now I have an inside cat. My outside cat died last year & since then we have had this cat that drives me bananas. He rules the roost sometimes. M...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

So I have been attending Al-Anon now for 4 weeks and I am feeling more connect to my HP. I also am reading about detachment. I thank God cause as of yesterday I finally have a sponsor. My test to apply Al-Anon teaches came to a head yesterday. My AH had been sober for 30days (because I had made a threat) and a...

Rae19 · Rae19

I have come here in hopes that I can find some help with some questions I'm asking myself. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for the past year and a half. I care deeply for her and feel like I don't know what to do anymore. She has gone through a 28 day rehab is on drug court now recently has to bl...

texas yankee · texas yankee

I'm wrestling with something about stuff in some of my FTF Al Anon meetings that you fine folks might be able to help me straighten out - thanks in advance for any guidance. I go to AL Anon meetings because I have a loved one (my younger Son) that suffers from alcoholism. While I've learned a lot of techni...

marie92 · marie92

Hi all .I just joined this group and I have never been to an al anon meeting before.I know,from reading different articles,that I am definitely a co dependent. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks these ten days and I have finally had to come out of denial. My husband left a bar Friday night,got a room,wit...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is a reminder about the strength of the program in helping us change our own attitudes. We have no power or control over whether people in our lives are drinking or not. For that matter, we have no control over anything other people do or say.... the reading toda...

Licorice · Licorice

I am a fairly new Al-Anon (joined mid 2016) and recently got involved in service work in our Business Meetings: the meetings in which we discuss practical things such as the treasurer's update and news that comes in via group delegates at different levels. It is here that our members can take a group co...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

LOL .. mine .. I'm good for it. This whole having more than one feeling issue really gets me stumped from time to time. I automatically go to what would my XAH do vs the fact not everyone is hardwired the way he is thank GOD .. it's a little more complex than that because I am looking at consistant patterns...

oceanpine · oceanpine

After 1 1/2 years of living separately, I have finally screwed up my courage to move forward with starting divorce proceedings. My AH will be served with papers today. He has been paranoid about this for a long time...but he has also done almost nothing to convince me to stay in this marriage. He is not...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading has us taking a look at our expectations: Do we expect others to 'just know' what we are feeling, or what we need? Or do we expect that if we do ask a person for the things we need, they should be able to deliver them all to us? In short, that 'aint gonna happen. AlAnon helps us develop/mode...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

He is currently 125 days clean. I'm so proud of him! Yet I'm unsure about the future. Before I always knew what to expect when he was using and this is all new to me. He attendeds meeting 3x a week, daily talks to his sponsor And yet I get jealous over it when he trying to get better. I attenend my first al anon m...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So I have been doing fairly good taking my life a day at time. I am attending Online meetings which really helps keep my focused and grounded. I definitely have my moments bc let's be honest I am so new to Alanon. I even laughed at myself the other day bc I went to check the list of in-person meetings in my are...

MissM · MissM

Is anyone willing to do today's C2C reading? I've broken a tooth off and I'm in some quite substantial pain. Ergo my concentration power is zero. Also, prayers for this mofo to STOP hurting quite so much would be really appreciated. Because I have to wait until Monday and honestly, well, Holy Mother...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

had a meeting here on doubt last night .. years i heard this quote that doubt is an unavoidable companion of faith .. but never heard it .. years i beat myself up 'any time i doubted anything .. it's like i felt i was supposed to be a solid foundation of trust faith etc .. but the solid foundation is built on h...

Bethany66 · Bethany66

I was listening to an Al-Anon speaker recording this morning and the speaker gave a mental illustration that really struck me. She said "An alcoholic can be like a slot machine. They pay off every now and then, just enough to keep you playing." Boy oh boy I know that feeling. Right now things are oka...

jessiefred86 · jessiefred86

I'm having an emotional day, and I wasn't sure where to go as I have no one to talk to about it. I ended up at this site, and I wanted to share my story and hopefully get some insight and advice. About 7 months ago I entered the online dating world after a 2 year divorce. I met D, and we began hanging out. Our "...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for March 5 speaks about the 12 steps and the serenity prayer. The reading points out that both of these important tools can be applied to all our problems whether or not they are related to alcoholism or not. From one miracle to another we can feel the joy of beginning, each new day...

el-cee · el-cee

At my meeting the topic was the pamphlet called 'Alcoholism how it effects the family.' Its pretty good and its hard hitting in the sense that it lays it all out. The manipulation by both the drinker and the family to try and stop the drinking. The cunningness of the drinker in maintaining the drinking w...

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

Hi all, Sorry just need to vent and know that there are others who have gone down this path before me. I am still very new - 4 al anon meetings so far and had successfully set up some boundaries at home for my AH (not to be drunk at home or in front of children). He has gone to a couple of AA meetings, and his dr...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am trying to let go of my accountability button .. the one I hold over my XAH .. yes .. he should pay for 50% of a LOT to do with the kids .. he's fighting me on it .. it doesn't mean he's not going to pay .. it means that I will have to get there a different way. Usually courts and attorney's are involved .. LOL!!...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step one. The writer mentions how incongruous it seems to admit powerlessness over alcohol since at a certain time in her life, her qualifier had found sobriety and she no longer lived with him! For me the message for today is summarozed with the 'thou...

Jen61 · Jen61

I would like to donate some money but cannot find the right place to do that. Can you help me out? Thanks so much.

numan · numan

Sorry if this is not the proper etiquette but I've looked all over for answers to these two important to me questions. Is it best to go alone to meetings as my daughter is interested in attending too. Do I tell my AW that I'm going to an al-anon meeting.

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about Step 4 - a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Most of us find, as the writer did, that much of our behavior was extremely immature. This then begs the question - what is mature behavior? The answer is different for each of us, but exploring the question can...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

I get it (in my own way). I can read these posts over and over, some bits hit home other not so much. Doing what right for me most definitely won't be right for the next. My A was at it again. This he choose to remove himself from the room. That helped me to detach. I could carry on my night. This morning I fe...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So my AH has not been drinking for about a month (on his own) and staying home more, making dinner for the family, etc. He is upset with me now because I am not showing him the affection that he needs. He says that I don't initiate a hug, kissing him or sex. All above are actually true. I told him that I am k...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I haven't been to a meeting in a couple weeks due to illness. I quite speaking to my qualifier about a month ago. I still can't believe it has been a month. I am so incredibly sad that he has not contacted me. I feel so utterly worthless that he doesn't miss me or see me as valuable. I know this is faulty thinki...

Iamhere · Iamhere

There has been many things going on around me. What I've learned in recovery is that I am powerless over people, places and things and my goal is to stay as sane as possible, sober (double winner), serene and of service. These 4 S(s) are a part of my daily morning prayers. So as I've been working my recov...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	keeping myself honest (Preview) Just a quick reminder to myself as per the subject line. Choosing a marriage to an alcoholic kept me safe from dealing with life. Turns out life is inevitable and must eventually be confronted. However this time around, as i face life again, as life intends, i give myself permission to be excused from...	a4l	7	350	Mar 13, 2017 by a4l
	on a rollercoaster today (Preview) So it has been a rough week. I wasn't able to attend online meetings or even attend the one in person meeting (my first one) last week bc I caught the flu. Awful. Anyways my active A was out of town for work and I heard from him off and on Friday, but Friday evening- nothing. All day Saturday- nothing (I didn'...	pumkin26	6	301	Mar 13, 2017 by pumkin26
	3/13/17 ODAT (One Day at a Time in AlAnon) (Preview) Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking. Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With t...	Enigmatic	3	2227	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Jealousy (Preview) Jealousy is a skin I would like to shed, acceptance and understanding is a much better look. I often read about how other Al-anoners feel jealousy with their qualifiers frequent attendance at AA, well I am starting to feel some of that now myself. Between AA meetings and her less than accepting famil...	Rickbrins	6	400	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 2 posted (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Boardhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63332514/alanon-s...	hotrod	3	242	Mar 13, 2017 by Enigmatic
	A Realization (Preview) I was listening to a recovery related podcast this afternoon and one of the speakers said [and I paraphrase] "When I try to control things in situations when I have no control, I have no energy to change the things that I can change." I hadn't thought about it that way. It makes a lot of sense. How can I be pr...	Mikhail	2	267	Mar 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-12-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became i...	hotrod	7	456	Mar 12, 2017 by hotrod
	Forgiveness a true gift. (Preview) I used to think it meant I had to get to a place where I judged the person worthy of wiping the slate clean. Now this would take a whole lot of apologies and a bit of grovelling if possible. Sworn signed statements that they would never ever do the offence to me again and they would only be worthy of my forgive...	el-cee	3	336	Mar 11, 2017 by a4l
	the stupidest things trigger me... (Preview) Along with living with an AH for 20 yrs, he was also abusive mentally and emotionally. I find that the stupidest things trigger me. Today, the woman I live with said she was going to meet her husband for lunch and then go to the store. I wasn't mad or anything, but I could feel my anxiety going up and star...	Marie71	6	369	Mar 11, 2017 by Marie71
	NEW MEMBER POSTED ON A TOPIC REGARDING READING HER HUSBAND'S INVENTORY (Preview) I read my husband's inventory book a few days ago. I don't trust my husband because I know he has cheated on me in the past, but he has always tried to deny it. So occasionally I snoop through his stuff. I know I shouldn't have and wish now that I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss! So, I went looking through o...	hotrod	8	497	Mar 11, 2017 by tiredtonite
	wavering between faith and panic... it's a strange state (Preview) Well were in a new limbo. Its still a better one than the old one and im grateful for the one day at a time philosophy. Actually there's not a lot of choice, im flying by the seat of my pants. Deep down, I have complete faith that the God of my understanding has me and my kids with ease. Closer to the surface,...	a4l	12	460	Mar 11, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 11/3 (Preview) Today's c2c reading focuses on the positive side of accepting and facing our defects and mistakes. It suggests that we ask for assistance to let go of our old negative tools such as self hate and impatience with ourselves and instead remember that our mistakes "prepare us to make more", ie we are const...	MissM	1	369	Mar 11, 2017 by hotrod
	struggling today (Preview) My AH and I had been getting along very well lately. I had been working my program pretty well and I have even seen it rub off on him a bit. We just had a fantastic vacation together and I came home feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time. And then yesterday instead of going to work...	KT2015	9	404	Mar 11, 2017 by KT2015
	Growing Healthy and Strong (Preview) I am no botanist, but once I was told, that in order to keep a rose bush happy, you need to trim the unhealthy branches. Failure to do this, the rose will focus its energy trying to repair the damage, depleting it's energy, robbing the healthy portion of the rose the energy it needs to thrive. This will...	Rickbrins	9	327	Mar 11, 2017 by KT2015
	Reaching the end of the book... (Preview) I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books... ...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony. i grew up close to an old gold mining town-...	DavidG	3	2135	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	online meetings (Preview) How do the online meetings work?	Shorty77	2	329	Mar 10, 2017 by Shorty77
	Expectations and the Disaster that follows .. (Preview) OK .. so I already know I don't feel good and engaging the ligress is the whole ohhhh today is not the day my friend. Let's just overly qualify and say not this week .. LOL! I'm having a difficult time with expectation and change .. LOL .. this is going to sound so funny this is literally how my brain works....	SerenityRUS	7	381	Mar 10, 2017 by Green Eyes
	What to expect over time (Preview) I would be grateful if some of you would share a very potted version of your journeys with me please. I am new to this and whilst I fully appreciate every journey is different, I would just like to have some idea of what I might expect. We are new to this - just realised at Christmas husband is alcoholic a...	Bettertomorrow	6	712	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/10/17 (Preview) Today's reading is another great one!! I'm going to start with the Reminder - I like it 'that much'.... Today's Reminder -- Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life. Today's Quote from Helen Keller -- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run t...	Iamhere	8	444	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Newbie (Preview) Hello, scared to go to my first meeting. Any tips?	Shorty77	10	396	Mar 10, 2017 by Enigmatic
	New to this (Preview) Hi all- I'm not sure how this works so I figured I'd reach out for some advice. I've tried an al-anon meeting once, but never a virtual one. My interest in them fluctuates with my brothers using. He's been an addict for 9 years, and after a three month sobriety streak he relapsed two days ago. I've be...	T-ray	2	2812	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	How do I connect with others at meetings? (Preview) I have been attending 2 meetings a week for a while now and wish I could make some friends in program. Sometimes I share at meetings and sometimes I just listen. I have tried sitting next to people and remembering their names. Some of them remember mine. I have gone up to people and said that their sha...	MovieGal	2	472	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading from Courage to Change discusses God's will vs. our will. The reading starts out by suggesting that when we feel our serenity slipping away while a war in waged within our minds, and loud voices are pushing one way or another - chances are good that we've gone into 'My Will Mode'. While...	Iamhere	6	297	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Next Rollercoaster (Preview) My AF emailed today to say that he and my step-mother are separating. I don't have all the details, but I knew something like this was coming. I don't know if the decision was mutual or otherwise. I have a lot of respect for my step-mother and I wouldn't blame her at all if she was just fed up with my father's...	Mikhail	3	452	Mar 9, 2017 by Mikhail
	Checking in (Preview) It's been awhile since I've posted. I'm trying to work my program every day. I'm learning alot about myself and also still have alot of questions. My AH has been sober and in recovery for about 3 months or so. We are both trying but have a very long way to go. One of the revelations about myself that I'm dea...	Ceelee	7	484	Mar 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	we're out (Preview) Ok weve done it we're out. Landed well, though the real works about to unfold. Keep us in your prayers and thoughts.	a4l	6	465	Mar 9, 2017 by _bunny_
	How to make amends to people who are dead (Preview) Sorry if that's a bit up front but I can't think of a better way to say it. In working the steps, I realize that at least 2 people that I need to apologize too have past. How do I or do even do I make amends? Thank you for any suggestion.	Ceelee	6	3741	Mar 9, 2017 by lookingup
	3/8/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon (Preview) Today's page describes a place filled with discouragement, tormented and circular thoughts, apprehension and confusion. This is the place many of us lived in before we found the miracle of AlAnon. Today's Reminder: Every meeting we attend, page we read, and fellow member we share with takes us far...	Enigmatic	4	449	Mar 8, 2017 by Enigmatic
	Serenity and sanity (Preview) We're all here because our physical, emotional and spiritual well being has been affected by the alcoholism of someone close to us and by working the program we will find serenity and sanity...For me, I have found serenity and sanity, I know this because I'm in a peaceful state and I'm living in realit...	_bunny_	4	770	Mar 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	working on detachment-- but with love? (Preview) So I have been doing a lot of thinking about "detachment with love" I realized last week that I was practicing detachment before I knew the term, but it was more like "detachment with middle finger". I have set a boundary with my A that he can't "live here" until he is "sober". I put quotes bc I am not certai...	pumkin26	9	362	Mar 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	I'm reluctant to be intimate now that he's sober...again (Preview) We've been married 12 years, have 3 children, and he's been an alcoholic for the past 3.5 years. It all started with him being on workman's comp for 6 months, and then losing his job shortly after getting back to work. Then a length of unemployment, followed by a crappy low-paying non-consistent job...	WrenT	3	547	Mar 8, 2017 by milkwood
	Overdose, wake up call? (Preview) So this past week my stepson's half brother who is an addict and a friend of my AS, overdosed on Xanax and Fantanyl. After a huge scare of organ failure and heart damage he was sent to a hospital that specializes in heart issues. His organs were not failing but his heart did have damage to it. He was release...	Tannersmom	3	469	Mar 8, 2017 by serenity47
	What's going on w me? (Preview) For sure I need a meeting. I haven't posted for a long time. I am so glad that I figured out how to use the mobile app again. Anyhow I have been through some stuff. Now I have an inside cat. My outside cat died last year & since then we have had this cat that drives me bananas. He rules the roost sometimes. M...	Hoot Nanny	2	397	Mar 7, 2017 by hotrod
	Al-Anon put to the test! (Preview) So I have been attending Al-Anon now for 4 weeks and I am feeling more connect to my HP. I also am reading about detachment. I thank God cause as of yesterday I finally have a sponsor. My test to apply Al-Anon teaches came to a head yesterday. My AH had been sober for 30days (because I had made a threat) and a...	Godsdaughter	3	1849	Mar 7, 2017 by Godsdaughter
	What to do (Preview) I have come here in hopes that I can find some help with some questions I'm asking myself. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for the past year and a half. I care deeply for her and feel like I don't know what to do anymore. She has gone through a 28 day rehab is on drug court now recently has to bl...	Rae19	3	417	Mar 7, 2017 by shrnp
	What's off topic in a FTF meeting?? (Preview) I'm wrestling with something about stuff in some of my FTF Al Anon meetings that you fine folks might be able to help me straighten out - thanks in advance for any guidance. I go to AL Anon meetings because I have a loved one (my younger Son) that suffers from alcoholism. While I've learned a lot of techni...	texas yankee	7	1185	Mar 7, 2017 by lookingup
	Baffled (Preview) Hi all .I just joined this group and I have never been to an al anon meeting before.I know,from reading different articles,that I am definitely a co dependent. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks these ten days and I have finally had to come out of denial. My husband left a bar Friday night,got a room,wit...	marie92	7	492	Mar 7, 2017 by el-cee
	Hope For Today Mar 7 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is a reminder about the strength of the program in helping us change our own attitudes. We have no power or control over whether people in our lives are drinking or not. For that matter, we have no control over anything other people do or say.... the reading toda...	yanksfan51	4	291	Mar 7, 2017 by Skorpi
	Choosing a home-group: questionnaire Home group homegroup service anonymity email (Preview) I am a fairly new Al-Anon (joined mid 2016) and recently got involved in service work in our Business Meetings: the meetings in which we discuss practical things such as the treasurer's update and news that comes in via group delegates at different levels. It is here that our members can take a group co...	Licorice	9	1415	Mar 7, 2017 by Licorice
	Old Behavior in New Relationship .. (Preview) LOL .. mine .. I'm good for it. This whole having more than one feeling issue really gets me stumped from time to time. I automatically go to what would my XAH do vs the fact not everyone is hardwired the way he is thank GOD .. it's a little more complex than that because I am looking at consistant patterns...	SerenityRUS	11	398	Mar 7, 2017 by andromeda
	Moving on to new phase and very sad (Preview) After 1 1/2 years of living separately, I have finally screwed up my courage to move forward with starting divorce proceedings. My AH will be served with papers today. He has been paranoid about this for a long time...but he has also done almost nothing to convince me to stay in this marriage. He is not...	oceanpine	8	965	Mar 7, 2017 by andromeda
	3-6-17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's reading has us taking a look at our expectations: Do we expect others to 'just know' what we are feeling, or what we need? Or do we expect that if we do ask a person for the things we need, they should be able to deliver them all to us? In short, that 'aint gonna happen. AlAnon helps us develop/mode...	Enigmatic	7	457	Mar 6, 2017 by Enigmatic
	AH is in recovery (Preview) He is currently 125 days clean. I'm so proud of him! Yet I'm unsure about the future. Before I always knew what to expect when he was using and this is all new to me. He attendeds meeting 3x a week, daily talks to his sponsor And yet I get jealous over it when he trying to get better. I attenend my first al anon m...	Shorty77	5	449	Mar 6, 2017 by Shorty77
	Hour by Hour today trying to refocus my thinking... (Preview) So I have been doing fairly good taking my life a day at time. I am attending Online meetings which really helps keep my focused and grounded. I definitely have my moments bc let's be honest I am so new to Alanon. I even laughed at myself the other day bc I went to check the list of in-person meetings in my are...	pumkin26	6	370	Mar 6, 2017 by pumkin26
	Can someone help? ODAT Reading 3-4-2017 (Preview) Is anyone willing to do today's C2C reading? I've broken a tooth off and I'm in some quite substantial pain. Ergo my concentration power is zero. Also, prayers for this mofo to STOP hurting quite so much would be really appreciated. Because I have to wait until Monday and honestly, well, Holy Mother...	MissM	10	3943	Mar 6, 2017 by Licorice
	doubt is an 'unavoidable companion of faith seeking .. quote from one of the readers .. some hp share .. short (Preview) had a meeting here on doubt last night .. years i heard this quote that doubt is an unavoidable companion of faith .. but never heard it .. years i beat myself up 'any time i doubted anything .. it's like i felt i was supposed to be a solid foundation of trust faith etc .. but the solid foundation is built on h...	MeTwo2	6	2392	Mar 6, 2017 by MeTwo2
	A Slot Machine (Preview) I was listening to an Al-Anon speaker recording this morning and the speaker gave a mental illustration that really struck me. She said "An alcoholic can be like a slot machine. They pay off every now and then, just enough to keep you playing." Boy oh boy I know that feeling. Right now things are oka...	Bethany66	6	362	Mar 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	Newbie - Boyfriend just entered rehab today (Preview) I'm having an emotional day, and I wasn't sure where to go as I have no one to talk to about it. I ended up at this site, and I wanted to share my story and hopefully get some insight and advice. About 7 months ago I entered the online dating world after a 2 year divorce. I met D, and we began hanging out. Our "...	jessiefred86	14	3421	Mar 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-5-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for March 5 speaks about the 12 steps and the serenity prayer. The reading points out that both of these important tools can be applied to all our problems whether or not they are related to alcoholism or not. From one miracle to another we can feel the joy of beginning, each new day...	hotrod	4	1949	Mar 6, 2017 by MeTwo2
	The roles we play in alcoholism (Preview) At my meeting the topic was the pamphlet called 'Alcoholism how it effects the family.' Its pretty good and its hard hitting in the sense that it lays it all out. The manipulation by both the drinker and the family to try and stop the drinking. The cunningness of the drinker in maintaining the drinking w...	el-cee	11	493	Mar 6, 2017 by MeTwo2
	Struggling to detach - feeling very low (Preview) Hi all, Sorry just need to vent and know that there are others who have gone down this path before me. I am still very new - 4 al anon meetings so far and had successfully set up some boundaries at home for my AH (not to be drunk at home or in front of children). He has gone to a couple of AA meetings, and his dr...	Bettertomorrow	8	2725	Mar 6, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Accountability .. (Preview) I am trying to let go of my accountability button .. the one I hold over my XAH .. yes .. he should pay for 50% of a LOT to do with the kids .. he's fighting me on it .. it doesn't mean he's not going to pay .. it means that I will have to get there a different way. Usually courts and attorney's are involved .. LOL!!...	SerenityRUS	3	340	Mar 5, 2017 by _bunny_
	Hope for Today feb 28 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step one. The writer mentions how incongruous it seems to admit powerlessness over alcohol since at a certain time in her life, her qualifier had found sobriety and she no longer lived with him! For me the message for today is summarozed with the 'thou...	yanksfan51	9	337	Mar 4, 2017 by Jerry F
	Where to donate? (Preview) I would like to donate some money but cannot find the right place to do that. Can you help me out? Thanks so much.	Jen61	3	393	Mar 3, 2017 by pumkin26
	are questions allowed (Preview) Sorry if this is not the proper etiquette but I've looked all over for answers to these two important to me questions. Is it best to go alone to meetings as my daughter is interested in attending too. Do I tell my AW that I'm going to an al-anon meeting.	numan	10	419	Mar 3, 2017 by KennyFenderjazz
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about Step 4 - a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Most of us find, as the writer did, that much of our behavior was extremely immature. This then begs the question - what is mature behavior? The answer is different for each of us, but exploring the question can...	Iamhere	2	2971	Mar 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Take what you want leave the rest (Preview) I get it (in my own way). I can read these posts over and over, some bits hit home other not so much. Doing what right for me most definitely won't be right for the next. My A was at it again. This he choose to remove himself from the room. That helped me to detach. I could carry on my night. This morning I fe...	Curlyblu	11	602	Mar 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Lack of Affection? (Preview) So my AH has not been drinking for about a month (on his own) and staying home more, making dinner for the family, etc. He is upset with me now because I am not showing him the affection that he needs. He says that I don't initiate a hug, kissing him or sex. All above are actually true. I told him that I am k...	kzoomom79	17	1818	Mar 3, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	I miss him.... (Preview) I haven't been to a meeting in a couple weeks due to illness. I quite speaking to my qualifier about a month ago. I still can't believe it has been a month. I am so incredibly sad that he has not contacted me. I feel so utterly worthless that he doesn't miss me or see me as valuable. I know this is faulty thinki...	tealfighter	9	387	Mar 3, 2017 by lookingup
	Binge Chaos.....if There is Such a Thing!! (Preview) There has been many things going on around me. What I've learned in recovery is that I am powerless over people, places and things and my goal is to stay as sane as possible, sober (double winner), serene and of service. These 4 S(s) are a part of my daily morning prayers. So as I've been working my recov...	Iamhere	6	346	Mar 2, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.