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3/8/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon
(Preview)
Today's page describes a place filled with discouragement, tormented and circular thoughts, apprehension and confusion. This is the place many of us lived in before we found the miracle of AlAnon. Today's Reminder: Every meeting we attend, page we read, and fellow member we share with takes us far...
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Enigmatic
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4
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389
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Serenity and sanity
(Preview)
We're all here because our physical, emotional and spiritual well being has been affected by the alcoholism of someone close to us and by working the program we will find serenity and sanity...For me, I have found serenity and sanity, I know this because I'm in a peaceful state and I'm living in realit...
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_bunny_
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4
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706
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working on detachment-- but with love?
(Preview)
So I have been doing a lot of thinking about "detachment with love" I realized last week that I was practicing detachment before I knew the term, but it was more like "detachment with middle finger". I have set a boundary with my A that he can't "live here" until he is "sober". I put quotes bc I am not certai...
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pumkin26
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9
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288
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I'm reluctant to be intimate now that he's sober...again
(Preview)
We've been married 12 years, have 3 children, and he's been an alcoholic for the past 3.5 years. It all started with him being on workman's comp for 6 months, and then losing his job shortly after getting back to work. Then a length of unemployment, followed by a crappy low-paying non-consistent job...
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WrenT
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3
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479
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Overdose, wake up call?
(Preview)
So this past week my stepson's half brother who is an addict and a friend of my AS, overdosed on Xanax and Fantanyl. After a huge scare of organ failure and heart damage he was sent to a hospital that specializes in heart issues. His organs were not failing but his heart did have damage to it. He was release...
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Tannersmom
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3
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400
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What's going on w me?
(Preview)
For sure I need a meeting. I haven't posted for a long time. I am so glad that I figured out how to use the mobile app again. Anyhow I have been through some stuff. Now I have an inside cat. My outside cat died last year & since then we have had this cat that drives me bananas. He rules the roost sometimes. M...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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340
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Al-Anon put to the test!
(Preview)
So I have been attending Al-Anon now for 4 weeks and I am feeling more connect to my HP. I also am reading about detachment. I thank God cause as of yesterday I finally have a sponsor. My test to apply Al-Anon teaches came to a head yesterday. My AH had been sober for 30days (because I had made a threat) and a...
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Godsdaughter
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3
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1665
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What to do
(Preview)
I have come here in hopes that I can find some help with some questions I'm asking myself.
I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for the past year and a half. I care deeply for her and feel like I don't know what to do anymore.
She has gone through a 28 day rehab is on drug court now recently has to bl...
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Rae19
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3
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347
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What's off topic in a FTF meeting??
(Preview)
I'm wrestling with something about stuff in some of my FTF Al Anon meetings that you fine folks might be able to help me straighten out - thanks in advance for any guidance. I go to AL Anon meetings because I have a loved one (my younger Son) that suffers from alcoholism. While I've learned a lot of techni...
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texas yankee
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7
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1024
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Baffled
(Preview)
Hi all .I just joined this group and I have never been to an al anon meeting before.I know,from reading different articles,that I am definitely a co dependent. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks these ten days and I have finally had to come out of denial. My husband left a bar Friday night,got a room,wit...
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marie92
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7
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436
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Hope For Today Mar 7
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone- Today's reading is a reminder about the strength of the program in helping us change our own attitudes. We have no power or control over whether people in our lives are drinking or not. For that matter, we have no control over anything other people do or say.... the reading toda...
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yanksfan51
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4
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226
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Choosing a home-group: questionnaire
(Preview)
I am a fairly new Al-Anon (joined mid 2016) and recently got involved in service work in our Business Meetings: the meetings in which we discuss practical things such as the treasurer's update and news that comes in via group delegates at different levels. It is here that our members can take a group co...
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Licorice
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9
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1156
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Old Behavior in New Relationship ..
(Preview)
LOL .. mine .. I'm good for it. This whole having more than one feeling issue really gets me stumped from time to time. I automatically go to what would my XAH do vs the fact not everyone is hardwired the way he is thank GOD .. it's a little more complex than that because I am looking at consistant patterns...
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SerenityRUS
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11
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346
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Moving on to new phase and very sad
(Preview)
After 1 1/2 years of living separately, I have finally screwed up my courage to move forward with starting divorce proceedings. My AH will be served with papers today. He has been paranoid about this for a long time...but he has also done almost nothing to convince me to stay in this marriage. He is not...
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oceanpine
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8
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886
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3-6-17 Courage to Change
(Preview)
Today's reading has us taking a look at our expectations: Do we expect others to 'just know' what we are feeling, or what we need? Or do we expect that if we do ask a person for the things we need, they should be able to deliver them all to us? In short, that 'aint gonna happen. AlAnon helps us develop/mode...
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Enigmatic
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7
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388
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AH is in recovery
(Preview)
He is currently 125 days clean. I'm so proud of him! Yet I'm unsure about the future. Before I always knew what to expect when he was using and this is all new to me. He attendeds meeting 3x a week, daily talks to his sponsor And yet I get jealous over it when he trying to get better. I attenend my first al anon m...
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Shorty77
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5
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388
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Hour by Hour today trying to refocus my thinking...
(Preview)
So I have been doing fairly good taking my life a day at time. I am attending Online meetings which really helps keep my focused and grounded. I definitely have my moments bc let's be honest I am so new to Alanon. I even laughed at myself the other day bc I went to check the list of in-person meetings in my are...
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pumkin26
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6
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307
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Can someone help? ODAT Reading 3-4-2017
(Preview)
Is anyone willing to do today's C2C reading? I've broken a tooth off and I'm in some quite substantial pain. Ergo my concentration power is zero. Also, prayers for this mofo to STOP hurting quite so much would be really appreciated. Because I have to wait until Monday and honestly, well, Holy Mother...
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MissM
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10
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3656
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doubt is an 'unavoidable companion of faith seeking .. quote from one of the readers .. some hp share .. short
(Preview)
had a meeting here on doubt last night .. years i heard this quote that doubt is an unavoidable companion of faith .. but never heard it .. years i beat myself up 'any time i doubted anything .. it's like i felt i was supposed to be a solid foundation of trust faith etc .. but the solid foundation is built on h...
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MeTwo2
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6
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2172
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A Slot Machine
(Preview)
I was listening to an Al-Anon speaker recording this morning and the speaker gave a mental illustration that really struck me. She said "An alcoholic can be like a slot machine. They pay off every now and then, just enough to keep you playing." Boy oh boy I know that feeling. Right now things are oka...
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Bethany66
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6
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301
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Newbie - Boyfriend just entered rehab today
(Preview)
I'm having an emotional day, and I wasn't sure where to go as I have no one to talk to about it. I ended up at this site, and I wanted to share my story and hopefully get some insight and advice. About 7 months ago I entered the online dating world after a 2 year divorce. I met D, and we began hanging out. Our "...
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jessiefred86
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14
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3193
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ODAT Reading 3-5-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for March 5 speaks about the 12 steps and the serenity prayer. The reading points out that both of these important tools can be applied to all our problems whether or not they are related to alcoholism or not. From one miracle to another we can feel the joy of beginning, each new day...
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hotrod
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4
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1768
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The roles we play in alcoholism
(Preview)
At my meeting the topic was the pamphlet called 'Alcoholism how it effects the family.' Its pretty good and its hard hitting in the sense that it lays it all out. The manipulation by both the drinker and the family to try and stop the drinking. The cunningness of the drinker in maintaining the drinking w...
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el-cee
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11
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428
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Struggling to detach - feeling very low
(Preview)
Hi all, Sorry just need to vent and know that there are others who have gone down this path before me. I am still very new - 4 al anon meetings so far and had successfully set up some boundaries at home for my AH (not to be drunk at home or in front of children). He has gone to a couple of AA meetings, and his dr...
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Bettertomorrow
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8
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2501
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Accountability ..
(Preview)
I am trying to let go of my accountability button .. the one I hold over my XAH .. yes .. he should pay for 50% of a LOT to do with the kids .. he's fighting me on it .. it doesn't mean he's not going to pay .. it means that I will have to get there a different way. Usually courts and attorney's are involved .. LOL!!...
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SerenityRUS
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3
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284
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Hope for Today feb 28
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about step one. The writer mentions how incongruous it seems to admit powerlessness over alcohol since at a certain time in her life, her qualifier had found sobriety and she no longer lived with him! For me the message for today is summarozed with the 'thou...
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yanksfan51
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9
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276
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Where to donate?
(Preview)
I would like to donate some money but cannot find the right place to do that. Can you help me out? Thanks so much.
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Jen61
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3
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331
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are questions allowed
(Preview)
Sorry if this is not the proper etiquette but I've looked all over for answers to these two important to me questions. Is it best to go alone to meetings as my daughter is interested in attending too. Do I tell my AW that I'm going to an al-anon meeting.
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numan
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10
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329
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Courage to Change (C2C) 3/3/17
(Preview)
Today's reading is about Step 4 - a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Most of us find, as the writer did, that much of our behavior was extremely immature. This then begs the question - what is mature behavior? The answer is different for each of us, but exploring the question can...
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Iamhere
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2
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2604
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Take what you want leave the rest
(Preview)
I get it (in my own way). I can read these posts over and over, some bits hit home other not so much.
Doing what right for me most definitely won't be right for the next.
My A was at it again. This he choose to remove himself from the room. That helped me to detach. I could carry on my night.
This morning I fe...
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Curlyblu
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11
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509
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Lack of Affection?
(Preview)
So my AH has not been drinking for about a month (on his own) and staying home more, making dinner for the family, etc. He is upset with me now because I am not showing him the affection that he needs. He says that I don't initiate a hug, kissing him or sex. All above are actually true. I told him that I am k...
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kzoomom79
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17
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1743
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I miss him....
(Preview)
I haven't been to a meeting in a couple weeks due to illness. I quite speaking to my qualifier about a month ago. I still can't believe it has been a month. I am so incredibly sad that he has not contacted me. I feel so utterly worthless that he doesn't miss me or see me as valuable. I know this is faulty thinki...
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tealfighter
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9
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322
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Binge Chaos.....if There is Such a Thing!!
(Preview)
There has been many things going on around me. What I've learned in recovery is that I am powerless over people, places and things and my goal is to stay as sane as possible, sober (double winner), serene and of service. These 4 S(s) are a part of my daily morning prayers. So as I've been working my recov...
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Iamhere
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6
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281
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just a hello
(Preview)
I dont really know if al-anon is for me or not as being a west of scotland 59 year old male I'm meant to be old enough,tough enough and wise enough to deal with all lifes problems without flinching. I'm at the moment too scared to go near a meeting as in these parts thats what a sniveling weakling would do but...
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numan
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15
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383
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New here - AH acting paranoid
(Preview)
Hello everyone, I am new to this board and new to Al Anon (attended 3 meetings so far) so please bear with me as I am a fledgling with the steps. My husband is alcoholic - which I have only been aware of since late last year (maybe earlier). Things went rapidly down hill since Christmas. We have 4 childre...
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Bettertomorrow
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10
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384
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Step One
(Preview)
Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery I gave myself a month off from posting to the Step Board. My vacation has ended so that I posted the First Step to the Step W...
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hotrod
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2
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269
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Denial ( coming out of Denial)
(Preview)
good morning,good evening alanon family, im not to good at sharing which is a defect of mine needing much work. im very grateful to all of you here on this board that's shared and replied to all that I have shared, land for sharing my journey also, as I come out of my Denial I'm beginning to really learn ,h...
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lookingup
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15
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790
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Courage to Change (C2C) 3/2/17
(Preview)
Today's reading discusses one of our most helpful tools - CAL or Conference Approved Literature. The Al-Anon literature helps us to learn about replacing long-established, negative ways of thinking with healthier, more positive approaches to life and love. The writer shares that while openin...
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Iamhere
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2
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218
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Deciding whether to stay in a relationship or not
(Preview)
Hi, I am fairly new on here - mainly just been reading other people's posts and some of the literature, and feeling comforted that there are other people who understand what I'm going through. The thing I'm really struggling with at the moment is whether or not to stay with my alcoholic husband, with w...
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Anon111
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14
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2862
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Just don't understand
(Preview)
My RA husband was grumpy yesterday, and didn't want to go up and socialize with our friends. (They didn't drink in front of him last time, so that wasn't it, and they encouraged and said how proud of him they were for going through treatment. We're in Hawaii, so we don't get to see these friends very oft...
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RL17
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4
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1823
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Technical help needed
(Preview)
Hi, MIP friends! Can anyone give me a link to the mobile version of this forum? I used to have it, but can't find it. It would be so much nicer to view this on my phone. Thanks for any help you can give.
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Freetime
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3
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222
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2/29/17 Courage to Change (On 3-1-17)
(Preview)
Yes, today is 3-1, but C2C gives us an extra page for leap year, and I really like it. It describes the path of an auto piloted aircraft, not as we might think: constantly locked on course, but slightly off course most of the time as it constantly readjusts to get back on target. Using the program as a guide...
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Enigmatic
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3
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418
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Feeling inadequate.
(Preview)
I have been going to F2F meeting and reading posts here and find a lot of good info, I am having a hard time these past few days with this thought...My AGF is in a 90 day in patient recovery program and seems to be doing very well. Shortly after she went in I discovered Al-anon and have been growing myself. My...
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Rickbrins
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12
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650
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Never enough
(Preview)
That's how I would describe my disease in a nutshell. Always wanting more never feeling satisfied. More of everything life has to offer. Doesn't matter what it is I want to gorge until I don't want it anymore. Like the Buddhists empty ghost that's me.
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el-cee
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7
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620
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Strugglng with Acceptance today
(Preview)
So today I woke up and the thoughts were swirling around in my head. I looked out the window (knowing my AH wasn't home) to see if his car was there (haven't done that in over a week) I think I looked out the window 3-4 times. I'm exhausted, didn't sleep well (worked in my sleep). I felt myself going back into...
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pumkin26
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13
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605
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And let the free fall begin
(Preview)
Having read so many posts here, I realized it didn't matter what I did or was going on in the life of my A, it was going to happen again. He was going to drink again. The 3Cs taught me that. So while he had a moment of clarity, I choose to enjoy it. Have conversations that we don't normally do....Enjoy sometim...
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Curlyblu
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14
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437
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You done good son, come on home
(Preview)
My heart has joined the thousands, for my friend stopped running today Favorite quote from Watership Down, what is said when someone passes. John, the friend I never met, founded this website that maybe saved my life, it sure as heck saved my sanity. I imagine God welcoming him with open arms and a you d...
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likemyheart
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4
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2270
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New here
(Preview)
Hi all, so my father was an alcoholic for all my childhood up until around 17 he stopped. All I can remember is sitting at home waiting for him to come in the door and smell the horrible smell of alcohol on him. He would then procede to start a fight or something of that nature. I just can't get any of it out of m...
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M243567
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5
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385
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When you hate an alcoholic...what then?
(Preview)
When love's not enough, how do you get back your peace of mind & tranquillity? Tangible suggestions, please.
When your prayers are: "God, I hope the alcoholic dies.' Tangibles suggestions.
Tired of the neglect, abuse, and deception.
Tangibles suggestions, please.
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2accept
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12
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673
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New Here
(Preview)
Hello all. I'm married to an alcoholic. I knew he was an alcoholic while we were dating, but never even considered he was still drinking. I now know that drinks occasionally. His symptoms go from stumbling and slurred speech to passing out to being outright violent at times. He denies that he drink...
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owlhope
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7
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494
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2/27/17 One Day at a Time in AlAnon
(Preview)
Today's page shows how AlAnon guides us gradually along our recovery, one day at a time if we think deeply about and begin to practice what we read in our literature and hear at our meetings. We begin to think less about our qualifier (why does he _____, how can he _____?) from a place of judgement, and mo...
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Enigmatic
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3
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361
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Courage to Change 25/2
(Preview)
Today's c2c focuses on self care, and how growing up in a dysfunctional family can result in poor self-care skills such as an inability to look after ourselves when we feel unwell. Pausing to care for ourselves can feel like self indulgence. However if we pause to observe the people around us when they...
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MissM
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4
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457
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ODAT Reading 2-26-2017
(Preview)
The ODA T reading for February 26 reminds us of the basic alanon principles that that in Al-Anon we do not give advice, no matter even when a fellow member is a victim of cruelty, violence and or deprivation. If we urge people to do what we think they should do in a similar crisis and they acted upon...
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hotrod
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3
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455
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A with a new liver and more
(Preview)
Hi everyone- Its been a long time since I've been on here, as life was getting very crazy with my A. She stopped drinking on May 12th and her health quickly turned for the worse. When she was admitted into the hospital Dec. 5th, we weren't sure if she would come home. Her liver was quickly shutting down an...
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gabigail
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6
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560
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being dry vs being sober
(Preview)
there is a huge difference and it is very important in regards to my enabling. My experiences are that I very often wanted a "sober" spouse and the reality was that I didn't know what sober was. I accepted it often as others did..."she was just not drinking and using" and I was getting it wrong. When...
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Jerry F
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4
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589
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Courage to Change (C2C) 2/24/17
(Preview)
Today's reading talks about the 4th step and how it gives us an opportunity to heal and replenish ourselves from the depletion that happens as a result of alcoholism. A Fourth Step inventory illuminates our empty spaces and shortcomings. This doesn't have to be a painful or scary experience nor do...
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Iamhere
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7
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458
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How Ala-non works
(Preview)
Its been a year. A whole year! Sunday I had such a deep depression that it has been a whole year and I am dealing with the same stuff. Why? This program isn't about dealing with my RAH, its about me! It's about my facing my fears, my obsession with "controlling" everything around me because I am te...
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Fooled
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7
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483
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Merry go round called denial
(Preview)
A great pamphlet costs about 50p. Maybe even available on line free. All about the roles we play out when we live with alcoholism. Our denial of our own part means we go round and round getting nowhere all the while our self esteem becomes less and less and our controlling and obsession with the drinker g...
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el-cee
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10
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818
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I might have to make a huge boundary for my A.
(Preview)
I recently I found out that my ex-Abf's liver is failing. I have written before that he was in a nursing home and had to learn how to walk again. At that time everyone in his family and myself were really happy because he had gotten to the hospital in time and nothing had effected his thinking. However, no...
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shrnp
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7
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503
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tracieann
(Preview)
i'm new here and struggling. can't see clearly right now. my alcoholic boyfriend (sober for 1.5 yrs but not active in recovery program) just broke up with me. i have saved this mans life many times -- getting him to rehab, talking him through suicidal thoughts. helped him heal his relationship with hi...
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Tracieann
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4
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372
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