Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Isthisreallife · Isthisreallife

This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...

laketime · laketime

Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...

Lyne · Lyne

About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a big discussion in the past with a therapist who I truly adored .. he is a man in his 70's who speaks my language .. LOL .. he's very easy to love and he reminded me how easy I am to love .. even if I did try to wear a cactus suit from time to time. I miss our talks a great deal. He kept using the word helpless w...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for March 18 speaks about how living with the disease of alcoholism our thinking truly becomes distorted and we learn to place the responsibility for our problems on the alcoholic and on others. In Al-Anon we are learning to look squarely at each difficulty not trying to blame it on ot...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi all. So the alcoholic in my life is sober about a week after a 5 week vodka binge. As always, it took him to death's door before he was able to stop, but that's not what this post is about, I have got that I am powerless over the drinking. I just want to share what's been going on for me since he sobered up. Thi...

el-cee · el-cee

My reaction to disappointment is improving and im becoming better at recognising my distorted thought processes and being able to see my part. I do however need time to sit with it process it discuss it with my sponsor or another alanon person and tweek out the truth of it. If I dont get this time I can be c...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and happy St. Patrick's Day for those who celebrate! Today's reading starts by suggesting no problem lasts forever. No matter how it seems, this too shall pass. Difficult situations often bring out qualities we might not realize we have - courage, faith and need for help from others....

Iamhere · Iamhere

I made mention in the daily thread that today is my baby's birthday. He's now 23 years old. I had also mentioned that he was to come over for dinner. I did go about my day - meeting, grocery store, and then back home to cook. As it happens with us, I had a nudge most of last evening and a bit this morning abou...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Last night my AH asked me if I had a sponsor yet? I've only been to one face to face meeating. I did call a woman I had met at the meeting in regards to what meetings she finds good. Just cause he found his sponsor the first couple of week, doesn't mean I wil. Part of me is like what's it any of your business? He is...

msjuliet · msjuliet

My entire life Ive clung to illusions that if I worked really hard, dreamed BIG, expected more of myself somehow I wouldnt end up like my family. For the last several years, my career and recovery have been my identity, not to mention the adversity Ive experienced in the midst, with the loss of the young...

lookingup · lookingup

Good morning Everybody,Beautiful Day it is, Im been wondering if mip online meetings have changed places? Or maybe slowed down due to xyz. or I'm just been missing them altogether,I dunno,plz if someone can fill me in,thank you so much in advance. reaching out with plenty of hugs ,smiles,I Love you...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Today is the second day of getting out and actually doing over night trips for work. I know it is easier with her still in her 90 day inpatient program, but this is just a reminder that I can do this and I can enjoy it. When she gets out next week, I will have a couple of weeks before I will have to do this again...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...

T_Puppington · T_Puppington

Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days. I'm finding I don't know ho...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...

Aerin · Aerin

Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...

Bri58 · Bri58

My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...

a4l · a4l

I don't always agree with society on this one. So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol. So my thoughts initially were, proba...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend about a month ago but gave him another chance after he promised to get help. I went and picked him up after we decided to reconcile and he was in bad shape after a 3 day bender. I felt so worried for him. He showed signs of improvement but then failed to follow through wi...

shrnp · shrnp

Some of you know that my ex-alcoholic boyfriend was very sick and had to go to a nursing home. He had hepatitis but the kind you can recover from. He also has cirrhosis of the liver. Anyhow, he had malnutrition from drinking and throwing up so much. That caused him to get Wernicke's encephalopathy. He...

vvv · vvv

As some of you know my ex abf and I still talk, and yet I'm not really sure why (probably because I'm still in love with the man I fell in love with). Anyways, it's getting to the point with our relationship that I have no longer accepted his inappropriate verbally abusive ( you stupid "b"***, if you cared y...

Living Free · Living Free

My ex of 25 yrs was found dead in his home with an almost empty half gal of whiskey by his side. An autopsy was not done and cause of death is going down as a heart attack. I am so confused by the rush of emotions I am feeling. Divorce is a sort of continuation. I always knew he was out there somewhere. Deat...

Ceelee · Ceelee

My AH has been sober for about 4 months. I've been working my recovery hard. We talk a lot about our relationship and trust. I've never trusted him from day one. He is a compulsive liar. He lies about every and anything. So in order to stay in this marriage trust has to be addressed. Well he stole money from...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Just asking for prayers today; what a roller coaster this stupid disease is. Rough roads ahead and trying to take one day at a time.Thank you!Beth

Connie Sue · Connie Sue

I recently have started hearing the terms, "Qualifier," "Codependent," and "Enabler" in my Al-Anon meetings. Are those appropriate terms to be used in Al-Anon? I know that when I had counseling before I started attending Al-Anon, I heard those terms used all the time and even read literature tha...

Marie71 · Marie71

I am currently separated from my husband of 20+ yrs due to his alcoholism, drug use, emotional and mental abuse and two affairs. I know I have many issues as a result of being in an abusive/alcoholic marriage. I can now see that even though my soon to be ex and I have been separated for two years, many of t...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

My AGF will be home from her program for the weekend and then in 10 days she will most likely be coming home for good. Right now I am fairly relaxed, although there have been a few triggers coming from family. I am very scared of how things will be when she gets out. She seems to be in a very good mental stat...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Last weekend my AH went with his sponsor and others to a convention. I asked him how it was? Said it was great, learned a lot, but now all he talks about is how our marriage maunt not last!! WTF! Anyone else have a partner in recovery and the marriage has lasted? We have been married for 17 years. I'm in this f...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

as usual, im in the dark as to why my HP leads me in one direction or another. Being nearly out of money,still umemployed, im moving into my boyfriend's house. what a very different direction then what i planned 1 and 1/2 yrs ago when i left XAH. Been going through a variety of emotions. on one hand, i have b...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- I hope all who are affected by the blizzard are warm, safe and have plenty of food. Today's reading is about how the 12 steps can be put into four categories: Giving up (steps 1-3 giving up the illusion that we can control the A and manage life w out the help of recovery); Owning up (...

Marie71 · Marie71

The people I live with are also considered family, we are very close. However, today the electric co. came with the final notice that winter shut off protection ends today. D said she would pay the bill tomorrow. Problem is, they have been spending money on dinners, clothes etc. I am trying to 'let i...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Well, AS moved back with his Dad. Dad got him a job and is driving him to work and my dad is picking him up. AS does not have a car and so many points on his license that he can't afford insurance yet. He managed to work a whole week. It has been 9 months since he last worked. He is staying apart from his AGF a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

link....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huf1UlSh_LY

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

or lack of it .. I have been ill for the past week and today is honestly the first day at my job I feel like a real person vs a zombie watching the clock .. ugh. I have a LOT of financial responsibilities going on at the moment with birthday's, two important ones .. one is 13 and the other is 18. My daughter is g...

a4l · a4l

Just a quick reminder to myself as per the subject line. Choosing a marriage to an alcoholic kept me safe from dealing with life. Turns out life is inevitable and must eventually be confronted. However this time around, as i face life again, as life intends, i give myself permission to be excused from...

pumkin26 · pumkin26

So it has been a rough week. I wasn't able to attend online meetings or even attend the one in person meeting (my first one) last week bc I caught the flu. Awful. Anyways my active A was out of town for work and I heard from him off and on Friday, but Friday evening- nothing. All day Saturday- nothing (I didn'...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking. Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With t...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

Jealousy is a skin I would like to shed, acceptance and understanding is a much better look. I often read about how other Al-anoners feel jealousy with their qualifiers frequent attendance at AA, well I am starting to feel some of that now myself. Between AA meetings and her less than accepting famil...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Boardhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63332514/alanon-s...

Mikhail · Mikhail

I was listening to a recovery related podcast this afternoon and one of the speakers said [and I paraphrase] "When I try to control things in situations when I have no control, I have no energy to change the things that I can change." I hadn't thought about it that way. It makes a lot of sense. How can I be pr...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became i...

el-cee · el-cee

I used to think it meant I had to get to a place where I judged the person worthy of wiping the slate clean. Now this would take a whole lot of apologies and a bit of grovelling if possible. Sworn signed statements that they would never ever do the offence to me again and they would only be worthy of my forgive...

Marie71 · Marie71

Along with living with an AH for 20 yrs, he was also abusive mentally and emotionally. I find that the stupidest things trigger me. Today, the woman I live with said she was going to meet her husband for lunch and then go to the store. I wasn't mad or anything, but I could feel my anxiety going up and star...

hotrod · hotrod

I read my husband's inventory book a few days ago. I don't trust my husband because I know he has cheated on me in the past, but he has always tried to deny it. So occasionally I snoop through his stuff. I know I shouldn't have and wish now that I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss! So, I went looking through o...

a4l · a4l

Well were in a new limbo. Its still a better one than the old one and im grateful for the one day at a time philosophy. Actually there's not a lot of choice, im flying by the seat of my pants. Deep down, I have complete faith that the God of my understanding has me and my kids with ease. Closer to the surface,...

MissM · MissM

Today's c2c reading focuses on the positive side of accepting and facing our defects and mistakes. It suggests that we ask for assistance to let go of our old negative tools such as self hate and impatience with ourselves and instead remember that our mistakes "prepare us to make more", ie we are const...

KT2015 · KT2015

My AH and I had been getting along very well lately. I had been working my program pretty well and I have even seen it rub off on him a bit. We just had a fantastic vacation together and I came home feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time. And then yesterday instead of going to work...

Rickbrins · Rickbrins

I am no botanist, but once I was told, that in order to keep a rose bush happy, you need to trim the unhealthy branches. Failure to do this, the rose will focus its energy trying to repair the damage, depleting it's energy, robbing the healthy portion of the rose the energy it needs to thrive. This will...

DavidG · DavidG

I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books... ...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony. i grew up close to an old gold mining town-...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

How do the online meetings work?

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

OK .. so I already know I don't feel good and engaging the ligress is the whole ohhhh today is not the day my friend. Let's just overly qualify and say not this week .. LOL! I'm having a difficult time with expectation and change .. LOL .. this is going to sound so funny this is literally how my brain works....

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

I would be grateful if some of you would share a very potted version of your journeys with me please. I am new to this and whilst I fully appreciate every journey is different, I would just like to have some idea of what I might expect. We are new to this - just realised at Christmas husband is alcoholic a...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is another great one!! I'm going to start with the Reminder - I like it 'that much'.... Today's Reminder -- Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life. Today's Quote from Helen Keller -- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run t...

Shorty77 · Shorty77

Hello, scared to go to my first meeting. Any tips?

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Enough (Preview) This is my first time here. My husband is a high functioning alcoholic. He admits it but won't get help. We've been married almost 7 years and he's been this way for 4 1/2. We have two children and I try my hardest to keep them shielded but they're getting old enough to notice. I'm so fed up I don't know what t...	Isthisreallife	5	643	Mar 19, 2017 by hotrod
	not really sure where to start (Preview) Greetings. Not really sure where to start. Husband of 19 years is an alcoholic. Hides it well, most of our friends don't have a clue....at least I don't think they do. Things have worsened as of late. We have 2 kids. I'm so tired of being "on guard" all the time and getting that sick-in-the-pit-of...	laketime	8	664	Mar 19, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Talking to an A (Preview) About two hours ago, I had the most ridiculous , circular, and unproductive discussion with my A. There is no logic, reasoning, understanding, or progress. It's almost as though I am speaking to someone who doesn't know English. The good news is that I stayed calm, didn't fight, didn't walk away,...	Lyne	5	604	Mar 19, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Powerless vs Helplessness (Preview) I had a big discussion in the past with a therapist who I truly adored .. he is a man in his 70's who speaks my language .. LOL .. he's very easy to love and he reminded me how easy I am to love .. even if I did try to wear a cactus suit from time to time. I miss our talks a great deal. He kept using the word helpless w...	SerenityRUS	6	4658	Mar 19, 2017 by Jerry F
	ODAT reading for 3-18-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for March 18 speaks about how living with the disease of alcoholism our thinking truly becomes distorted and we learn to place the responsibility for our problems on the alcoholic and on others. In Al-Anon we are learning to look squarely at each difficulty not trying to blame it on ot...	hotrod	1	520	Mar 18, 2017 by Iamhere
	Intimacy issues! (Preview) Hi all. So the alcoholic in my life is sober about a week after a 5 week vodka binge. As always, it took him to death's door before he was able to stop, but that's not what this post is about, I have got that I am powerless over the drinking. I just want to share what's been going on for me since he sobered up. Thi...	Sorcha	9	716	Mar 18, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Expectations are premeditated resentments (Preview) My reaction to disappointment is improving and im becoming better at recognising my distorted thought processes and being able to see my part. I do however need time to sit with it process it discuss it with my sponsor or another alanon person and tweek out the truth of it. If I dont get this time I can be c...	el-cee	8	1469	Mar 17, 2017 by MissM
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/17/17 (Preview) Good morning and happy St. Patrick's Day for those who celebrate! Today's reading starts by suggesting no problem lasts forever. No matter how it seems, this too shall pass. Difficult situations often bring out qualities we might not realize we have - courage, faith and need for help from others....	Iamhere	7	449	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	The Birthday Dinner that Wasn't (Preview) I made mention in the daily thread that today is my baby's birthday. He's now 23 years old. I had also mentioned that he was to come over for dinner. I did go about my day - meeting, grocery store, and then back home to cook. As it happens with us, I had a nudge most of last evening and a bit this morning abou...	Iamhere	23	893	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sponsor (Preview) Last night my AH asked me if I had a sponsor yet? I've only been to one face to face meeating. I did call a woman I had met at the meeting in regards to what meetings she finds good. Just cause he found his sponsor the first couple of week, doesn't mean I wil. Part of me is like what's it any of your business? He is...	Shorty77	4	624	Mar 17, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Let it begin with me! (Preview) My entire life Ive clung to illusions that if I worked really hard, dreamed BIG, expected more of myself somehow I wouldnt end up like my family. For the last several years, my career and recovery have been my identity, not to mention the adversity Ive experienced in the midst, with the loss of the young...	msjuliet	3	656	Mar 17, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Meetings (Preview) Good morning Everybody,Beautiful Day it is, Im been wondering if mip online meetings have changed places? Or maybe slowed down due to xyz. or I'm just been missing them altogether,I dunno,plz if someone can fill me in,thank you so much in advance. reaching out with plenty of hugs ,smiles,I Love you...	lookingup	2	546	Mar 17, 2017 by lookingup
	Trial run, day 2 (Preview) Today is the second day of getting out and actually doing over night trips for work. I know it is easier with her still in her 90 day inpatient program, but this is just a reminder that I can do this and I can enjoy it. When she gets out next week, I will have a couple of weeks before I will have to do this again...	Rickbrins	6	556	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	feeling powerless and unmanageable (Preview) So two days in a row. What struck me as I finally crawled out of my wallowing is that I think I am still sick, and I am definitely tired. So maybe that is why I've had two days of slipping right back to square 1. Tonight he wanted to see the boys (never me- yes it hurts, I am working on it) he comes over, plops down...	pumkin26	6	2466	Mar 17, 2017 by Iamhere
	Difficulties in detaching Functioning alcoholic children detachment (Preview) Hi everyone. I've been married to an alcoholic for 6.5 years It started to become a problem about 5.5 years ago when I got pregnant and my husband started ramping up his drinking. I don't think I can adequately convey the feelings disappointment and horror of coming home with a 6 month old in tow, seein...	T_Puppington	9	8510	Mar 16, 2017 by Jerry F
	Today is not the day .. (Preview) I have to laugh at myself I am finally feeling back to normal which I don't know good thing or not .. lol. It means I'm a whole lot more ornerier which sometimes is good and not so good in moments where my inappropriate humor comes flying through .. if I didn't have my horribly warped humor I wouldn't have m...	SerenityRUS	2	525	Mar 16, 2017 by Iamhere
	This is an odd feeling.... (Preview) My A is trying/pretending not to have drinks. It's been almost 2 weeks now, and there has been one time that I'm 99.9% sure he had drinks before he came home. At home he doesn't....there's nothing in the house....he drank it all when he went on his full drunk that lasted days. I'm finding I don't know ho...	Curlyblu	17	714	Mar 16, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/16/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses how hard it can be to see our progress in recovery. For those of us who have operated with high expectations, it's even more difficult. When we expect our negative attitudes and unhealthy behaviors to change fast and completely, we are going to be disappointed - progress...	Iamhere	2	999	Mar 16, 2017 by El
	QUESTION FOR ALCOHOLICS (Preview) Hi all, I'm back posting again. My ABF is now 7 months into AA. For the most part I would say he is doing very well. You can see how AA is helping. However, he has had quite a few slips, especially in the last month or so. He does jump right back into the program the next day. He use to go every day, but I kind...	Aerin	11	698	Mar 16, 2017 by a4l
	back into the insanity I go (Preview) I am reeling right now. So instead of engaging and allowing my anger to bubble up and cause me to retaliate I am here, venting to you all. My AH has had the flu since the weekend. I posted earlier in the week, unsure if he was truly sick or not. I am still not sure. Might have had the flu, might actually be in wit...	pumkin26	9	726	Mar 16, 2017 by a4l
	3/15/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page considers forgiveness...One member admitted seeing it before AlAnon as power, as a judgement passed down from a position of authority, a false display of grace intended to emphasize the other's wrong; publicly forgiving but never forgetting. A healthy perspective with the help of A...	Enigmatic	10	591	Mar 15, 2017 by hotrod
	An eagle (Preview) I am so grateful that my HP sent me a bit of peace yesterday. It was a day of stress and drama. I prayed for his will; on my way home an eagle flew right over my car. Mind you I was in the city so sighting an eagle is very very rare. It flew low and I swear it looked at me . I was at peace, I knew right then an ther...	Tannersmom	4	592	Mar 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	Please help I'm so lost and confused (Preview) My husband of 4 years has been an alcoholic for over 2 years now. It's such a long story but after dropping out of an impatient program he is in an iop now. We fight...... He gets nasty...... Fight in front of the kids..... Is controlling and overbearing. I coddle the kids and my ways are always wrong. I cou...	Bri58	16	614	Mar 15, 2017 by Iamhere
	to child support or not to child support (Preview) I don't always agree with society on this one. So, the kids and i remain safe and are doing our best to stay positive though the wordless anger hits me at times as we go through the system. It hits me and at the same time i mentally hit myself for being ungrateful. Lol. So my thoughts initially were, proba...	a4l	5	551	Mar 15, 2017 by 2HP
	He watered down my gin - so angry (Preview) I broke up with alcoholic boyfriend about a month ago but gave him another chance after he promised to get help. I went and picked him up after we decided to reconcile and he was in bad shape after a 3 day bender. I felt so worried for him. He showed signs of improvement but then failed to follow through wi...	SaraLin	13	2542	Mar 15, 2017 by Jerry F
	My A is being released tomomow (Preview) Some of you know that my ex-alcoholic boyfriend was very sick and had to go to a nursing home. He had hepatitis but the kind you can recover from. He also has cirrhosis of the liver. Anyhow, he had malnutrition from drinking and throwing up so much. That caused him to get Wernicke's encephalopathy. He...	shrnp	7	652	Mar 15, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	The alcoholic's plea (Preview) As some of you know my ex abf and I still talk, and yet I'm not really sure why (probably because I'm still in love with the man I fell in love with). Anyways, it's getting to the point with our relationship that I have no longer accepted his inappropriate verbally abusive ( you stupid "b"***, if you cared y...	vvv	7	645	Mar 15, 2017 by Aerin
	My ex AH died in his sleep last week. (Preview) My ex of 25 yrs was found dead in his home with an almost empty half gal of whiskey by his side. An autopsy was not done and cause of death is going down as a heart attack. I am so confused by the rush of emotions I am feeling. Divorce is a sort of continuation. I always knew he was out there somewhere. Deat...	Living Free	10	489	Mar 15, 2017 by Living Free
	Help with setback (Preview) My AH has been sober for about 4 months. I've been working my recovery hard. We talk a lot about our relationship and trust. I've never trusted him from day one. He is a compulsive liar. He lies about every and anything. So in order to stay in this marriage trust has to be addressed. Well he stole money from...	Ceelee	7	660	Mar 15, 2017 by Ceelee
	Prayers please (Preview) Just asking for prayers today; what a roller coaster this stupid disease is. Rough roads ahead and trying to take one day at a time.Thank you!Beth	Tannersmom	6	1947	Mar 15, 2017 by Jen61
	Terms used: Qualifier, Codependent, and Enabler (Preview) I recently have started hearing the terms, "Qualifier," "Codependent," and "Enabler" in my Al-Anon meetings. Are those appropriate terms to be used in Al-Anon? I know that when I had counseling before I started attending Al-Anon, I heard those terms used all the time and even read literature tha...	Connie Sue	7	11154	Mar 14, 2017 by shrnp
	Not sure if Alanon is for me (Preview) I am currently separated from my husband of 20+ yrs due to his alcoholism, drug use, emotional and mental abuse and two affairs. I know I have many issues as a result of being in an abusive/alcoholic marriage. I can now see that even though my soon to be ex and I have been separated for two years, many of t...	Marie71	15	804	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Grant me the Serenity... (Preview) My AGF will be home from her program for the weekend and then in 10 days she will most likely be coming home for good. Right now I am fairly relaxed, although there have been a few triggers coming from family. I am very scared of how things will be when she gets out. She seems to be in a very good mental stat...	Rickbrins	9	507	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	AH in recovery (Preview) Last weekend my AH went with his sponsor and others to a convention. I asked him how it was? Said it was great, learned a lot, but now all he talks about is how our marriage maunt not last!! WTF! Anyone else have a partner in recovery and the marriage has lasted? We have been married for 17 years. I'm in this f...	Shorty77	7	617	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	different path (Preview) as usual, im in the dark as to why my HP leads me in one direction or another. Being nearly out of money,still umemployed, im moving into my boyfriend's house. what a very different direction then what i planned 1 and 1/2 yrs ago when i left XAH. Been going through a variety of emotions. on one hand, i have b...	YARNCRAZY	3	508	Mar 14, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Hope for Today Mar 14 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- I hope all who are affected by the blizzard are warm, safe and have plenty of food. Today's reading is about how the 12 steps can be put into four categories: Giving up (steps 1-3 giving up the illusion that we can control the A and manage life w out the help of recovery); Owning up (...	yanksfan51	5	567	Mar 14, 2017 by _bunny_
	Big Trigger today (Preview) The people I live with are also considered family, we are very close. However, today the electric co. came with the final notice that winter shut off protection ends today. D said she would pay the bill tomorrow. Problem is, they have been spending money on dinners, clothes etc. I am trying to 'let i...	Marie71	12	702	Mar 14, 2017 by Marie71
	It's a start (Preview) Well, AS moved back with his Dad. Dad got him a job and is driving him to work and my dad is picking him up. AS does not have a car and so many points on his license that he can't afford insurance yet. He managed to work a whole week. It has been 9 months since he last worked. He is staying apart from his AGF a...	Tannersmom	3	1763	Mar 13, 2017 by Rickbrins
	Off-Topic - Joel Osteen - Don't Rely on People (Preview) link....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huf1UlSh_LY	Iamhere	8	3105	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Compassion .. (Preview) or lack of it .. I have been ill for the past week and today is honestly the first day at my job I feel like a real person vs a zombie watching the clock .. ugh. I have a LOT of financial responsibilities going on at the moment with birthday's, two important ones .. one is 13 and the other is 18. My daughter is g...	SerenityRUS	2	776	Mar 13, 2017 by a4l
	keeping myself honest (Preview) Just a quick reminder to myself as per the subject line. Choosing a marriage to an alcoholic kept me safe from dealing with life. Turns out life is inevitable and must eventually be confronted. However this time around, as i face life again, as life intends, i give myself permission to be excused from...	a4l	7	456	Mar 13, 2017 by a4l
	on a rollercoaster today (Preview) So it has been a rough week. I wasn't able to attend online meetings or even attend the one in person meeting (my first one) last week bc I caught the flu. Awful. Anyways my active A was out of town for work and I heard from him off and on Friday, but Friday evening- nothing. All day Saturday- nothing (I didn'...	pumkin26	6	395	Mar 13, 2017 by pumkin26
	3/13/17 ODAT (One Day at a Time in AlAnon) (Preview) Today's page mentions what may once have been common, everyday feelings: discomfort when our qualifiers arrive home late, concern about where they are in their program, and fear and anger that come with the assumption they've returned to drinking. Fortunately, that is not AlAnon thinking. With t...	Enigmatic	3	2624	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Jealousy (Preview) Jealousy is a skin I would like to shed, acceptance and understanding is a much better look. I often read about how other Al-anoners feel jealousy with their qualifiers frequent attendance at AA, well I am starting to feel some of that now myself. Between AA meetings and her less than accepting famil...	Rickbrins	6	524	Mar 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	Step 2 posted (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together!Step 2 has been posted to the Step Work Boardhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63332514/alanon-s...	hotrod	3	339	Mar 13, 2017 by Enigmatic
	A Realization (Preview) I was listening to a recovery related podcast this afternoon and one of the speakers said [and I paraphrase] "When I try to control things in situations when I have no control, I have no energy to change the things that I can change." I hadn't thought about it that way. It makes a lot of sense. How can I be pr...	Mikhail	2	367	Mar 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 3-12-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for March 12 addresses the subject that alcoholism is a disease. The reading goes on to explain that this disease is a compulsion and an obsession. It suggests that we too are subject to a compulsion which also compelles to try to save the alcoholic . No wonder the situation became i...	hotrod	7	561	Mar 12, 2017 by hotrod
	Forgiveness a true gift. (Preview) I used to think it meant I had to get to a place where I judged the person worthy of wiping the slate clean. Now this would take a whole lot of apologies and a bit of grovelling if possible. Sworn signed statements that they would never ever do the offence to me again and they would only be worthy of my forgive...	el-cee	3	438	Mar 11, 2017 by a4l
	the stupidest things trigger me... (Preview) Along with living with an AH for 20 yrs, he was also abusive mentally and emotionally. I find that the stupidest things trigger me. Today, the woman I live with said she was going to meet her husband for lunch and then go to the store. I wasn't mad or anything, but I could feel my anxiety going up and star...	Marie71	6	478	Mar 11, 2017 by Marie71
	NEW MEMBER POSTED ON A TOPIC REGARDING READING HER HUSBAND'S INVENTORY (Preview) I read my husband's inventory book a few days ago. I don't trust my husband because I know he has cheated on me in the past, but he has always tried to deny it. So occasionally I snoop through his stuff. I know I shouldn't have and wish now that I hadn't. Ignorance is bliss! So, I went looking through o...	hotrod	8	599	Mar 11, 2017 by tiredtonite
	wavering between faith and panic... it's a strange state (Preview) Well were in a new limbo. Its still a better one than the old one and im grateful for the one day at a time philosophy. Actually there's not a lot of choice, im flying by the seat of my pants. Deep down, I have complete faith that the God of my understanding has me and my kids with ease. Closer to the surface,...	a4l	12	577	Mar 11, 2017 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 11/3 (Preview) Today's c2c reading focuses on the positive side of accepting and facing our defects and mistakes. It suggests that we ask for assistance to let go of our old negative tools such as self hate and impatience with ourselves and instead remember that our mistakes "prepare us to make more", ie we are const...	MissM	1	477	Mar 11, 2017 by hotrod
	struggling today (Preview) My AH and I had been getting along very well lately. I had been working my program pretty well and I have even seen it rub off on him a bit. We just had a fantastic vacation together and I came home feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time. And then yesterday instead of going to work...	KT2015	9	501	Mar 11, 2017 by KT2015
	Growing Healthy and Strong (Preview) I am no botanist, but once I was told, that in order to keep a rose bush happy, you need to trim the unhealthy branches. Failure to do this, the rose will focus its energy trying to repair the damage, depleting it's energy, robbing the healthy portion of the rose the energy it needs to thrive. This will...	Rickbrins	9	436	Mar 11, 2017 by KT2015
	Reaching the end of the book... (Preview) I loved books as a kids- books became my teddy bears. I have noticed that i still have books around me, including my recovery books... ...when i first came upon the MIP groups the talisman I had was found in alanon Concept 4- participation is the key to harmony. i grew up close to an old gold mining town-...	DavidG	3	2522	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	online meetings (Preview) How do the online meetings work?	Shorty77	2	456	Mar 10, 2017 by Shorty77
	Expectations and the Disaster that follows .. (Preview) OK .. so I already know I don't feel good and engaging the ligress is the whole ohhhh today is not the day my friend. Let's just overly qualify and say not this week .. LOL! I'm having a difficult time with expectation and change .. LOL .. this is going to sound so funny this is literally how my brain works....	SerenityRUS	7	503	Mar 10, 2017 by Green Eyes
	What to expect over time (Preview) I would be grateful if some of you would share a very potted version of your journeys with me please. I am new to this and whilst I fully appreciate every journey is different, I would just like to have some idea of what I might expect. We are new to this - just realised at Christmas husband is alcoholic a...	Bettertomorrow	6	828	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 3/10/17 (Preview) Today's reading is another great one!! I'm going to start with the Reminder - I like it 'that much'.... Today's Reminder -- Wonderful things can happen today because I welcome the thrill of participating in my own life. Today's Quote from Helen Keller -- "Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run t...	Iamhere	8	556	Mar 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Newbie (Preview) Hello, scared to go to my first meeting. Any tips?	Shorty77	10	501	Mar 10, 2017 by Enigmatic
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.