The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hello all. I'm married to an alcoholic. I knew he was an alcoholic while we were dating, but never even considered he was still drinking. I now know that drinks occasionally. His symptoms go from stumbling and slurred speech to passing out to being outright violent at times. He denies that he drinks, but I can smell it, see it, and sometimes taste it. I just need help in knowing how I can best help him.
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"No matter how much you love someone, you don't have the power to make them give up a behavior they are not ready to relinquish." -Lisa Ferentz
Welcome Owlhope You are not alone. Alcoholism is a progressive , chronic, fatal disease over which we are powerless. AA is the recovery program for the person who drinks and alanon was established to help family members cope with the insanity of living with the disease.
I found that the best way I could help my alcoholic husband was to accept the fact that I was dealing with a disease and find support from others who were coping with the same disease. Face to face meetings are held in most communities and the hotline number is in the white pages. Here I developed new tools to live by and found a supportive community in which to share and grow. Please keep coming back.
Welcome! The best way we can help an alcoholic is to get help for ourselves and learn about the disease of alcoholism. You can find support here, and even more support if you can get to face to face meetings. One of Al-Anon's most powerful messages is the 3 "C"s - we didn't cause it, we can't control it and we can't cure it. But changed attitudes can aid recovery, and Al-Anon is where I learn to change my attitude.
Aloha Owlhope and welcome to the board...The two previous responses are what has been most successful for the 65 years of Al-Anon's existence. It was mine also for the start of my journey in recovery. I was married to an alcoholic/addict and also was born and raised in the disease. It left an indelible mark on me which Al-Anon membership has helped me to live without having it keep me trapped 24/7 like it did the first 37 years if my life.
The face to face meetings work miracles along with all of the other many sources of information about this life threatening disease. Life threatening doesn't mean only the alcoholics life...the relatives, spouses, friends and associates also are threatened.
Alcoholism affects everyone and thing it comes into contact with. Welcome here, Keep coming back and get into the meetings cause this works when you work it. ((((hugs))))
I'm glad you're here and have an open mind toward trying the Al-Anon program. I was doubtful at first, but found that learning from experience and strength of others brought hope to my life, starting me on a path to peace of mind. The Al-Anon literature, this place, online and phone meetings, and especially face-to-face meetings all contribute to my own serentiy - I can't fix the alchoholic, but I can learn to change my own life so I am not a prisoner of my enmeshment with a situation that is not under my control.
I am concerned about your statement about outright violence - please don't take chances with your own safety. On a sticky at the top of this forum there is a thread called "FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS" - number 7 on the list of questions addresses violence and offers some resources to learn how to keep yourself safe...before anything else, it is vital you find out what you can do to help protect yourself. Please, please don't leave yourself vulnerable!
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Denizen
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"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Warm welcomes to you owlhope - glad you found us and glad that you joined right in!
Sorry for what brings you here - you are not alone! I too suggest the program and any/all resources that help you help you!
Keep coming back - there is hope and help in recovery....I'm sending you prayers and positive thoughts too!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have only been coming here about a month, but went to my first F2F (Face to face) Al-anon meeting about 2 months ago. Knowing I was not alone, hearing what others have to say, slogans, they all have helped a lot. I will say that the Al-anon literature, "A Merry Go Round Named Denial" led to a great understanding for me.
Please keep coming back, there are great people here and in all of Al-anon.
