Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ODAT Reading 2-26-2017
Post Info TOPIC: ODAT Reading 2-26-2017
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
ODAT Reading 2-26-2017
Permalink  

The ODA T reading for February 26 reminds us of the basic alanon  principles that  that in Al-Anon we do not give advice, no matter even  when a fellow member is a victim of cruelty, violence and or deprivation. If  we urge people to do what we think they should do in a similar crisis and  they  acted upon this the outcome may be an  even greater tragedy and we would be responsible for that. The most important thing while sharing with a member is to indicate to the person that in  every situation  we do have choices. We do not know what course of action is right for someone else,we can offer comfort and compassion and the example of a life that we are trying to build
 
The quote is from First Peter:" finally be all of one mind adding compassion for one  another not rendering evil for evil,for he that will love life and see good days let him refrain his tongue from   evil and his lips that they speak no guile"
 
.
I do appreciate the simple principle that anon promotes, which suggests that we do not give advice but simply offer our own experience strength and hope and trust that each person can  go within and find  the  answers for their lives.It is important to caution a person if the are experiencing  violence in the home.
I also follow this simple Principle while interacting with my family and friends  No advice giving-- simple compassion and  empathy  are enough.
 
Have  a great Sunday .
.


__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
lookingup


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1008
Date:
Permalink  

Thank you Betty for sharing this important principle of giving compassion and empathy are enough indeed,
Allowing the person in bad sit.to look within for answers ,reminding them that they do have choices
We are not to give advice that to do so could and would be more harmful be it whatever the crisis situation,I wouldn't want to be responsible for the outcomes .,
I'm only to give comfort and compassion I do not know what the right course of action for them would be,
Today I'm thankful that myself as well as others we all have choices in every sit.
That I'm not responsible for another's choices,
Such a great reminder for me today.....lu

__________________

Do the next right thing~

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

 

 
shrnp


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 484
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks Betty, great reminder!

__________________

Sharon 
Iamhere


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:
Permalink  

Thanks Betty for the daily, your service and your ESH. Thanks also to others for your shares. Before the program, I was always willing to give advice. I did so with the best of intentions and with a hopeful projection of the outcome. Only when I came to Al-Anon and began to look at me did I figure out that much of my formal patterns - including advice giving - was about my ego and my want/need to control. Also, so long as I was advising others, I did not spend much time looking at me, understanding me or even taking care of me.

I found tons of freedom in letting go of this pattern/defect and instead sharing my experience, strength and hope if I could. I also learned in recovery that if I could not relate, I could offer support in the form of positive thoughts/energy and prayers.

I love when I am troubled that others do the same in recovery. I can bring forward a challenge and others share what they've done and the outcomes yet give me the dignity of making my own choice. For me, this is exactly how I have learned and grown in recovery - trial and error keeping myself and my needs front in my processing.

Our program works really well when we work it! Great reading and grateful for recovery!

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> ODAT Reading 2-26-2017