Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

WestMan · WestMan

I'm really doing a number on myself tonight. Can't sleep and just playing the tapes-of-doom over and over in my head. I used to do a ton of this but have greatly improved since I started regularly attending Al-Anon. I think what's getting me tonight is I've been thinking that our marriage is likely endi...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Still checking in w/the posts each day, but cannot linger due to all the things that need to get accomplished w/a move out. Yes, my son and I moved away from my AH. There have been good days and bad. Kid is loving it! I am in a good headspace as long as I hve limited contact w/AH. If I don't, then I do feel sadnes...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the preciousness of each moment and making the decision to make each moment count. By relying on the AlAnon program, working the 12 steps, and improving their connection to HP, the author is able to stay in the moment and make positive change in that moment...

MizzB · MizzB

So, after the ABF's AWOL weekend, I decided to get a dog trainer so I can get a dog sitter (my dog is aggressive towards people due to fear - she's had a hard life)or my parents to come round if necessary when I have late parent meetings. I'm preparing to be on my own. I'm just scared. We spoke this morning bef...

mamalioness · mamalioness

TODAY: I am grateful for: My beloved older daughter has been clean for 5-1/2 years and going strong in her program Grateful that my 2nd daughter has gotten back into Al-anon and is working on step 1.. I am recovering, bit by bit over the loss of my dear sister Very grateful that hurricane Irma didn't har...

Jen · Jen

I don't know what I was thinking. Somehow I just missed the red flag, and I walked right into dealing with another alcoholic. I volunteered for a community project. I really wanted to be a part of it, so I stepped up and volunteered my talent for setting up facebook group and getting the word out about thi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

for families and friends of Alcoholics. That is the cover title of the most recent Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2018 issue. The AVA issues are part and parcel of the literature in our house and my wife and I start the day with literature. If you want a seriously recovery effective tool I suggest you get...

el-cee · el-cee

The readings today about awareness acceptance and action were relevant to what im living right now. My youngest son, 20, not alcoholic but of course deeply effected, well his behaviour and choices seem to be leaning towards a shady lifestyle with shady other effected young people and I keep getting...

Bo · Bo

So, you are in a relationship with someone. You do not live together, but you spend a great deal of time over each other's respective homes. Your SO lives with her two children, one of which, a son, is a heroin addict. So, you have all that going on. The son has a girlfriend who also uses heroin, and drinks....

WestMan · WestMan

So I had this crazy emotional roller-coaster week last week. When the weekend finally rolled around I was determined to get out of my head so it was off to the great outdoors. Capped it off yesterday (Sunday) with a great little hike with my daughters. Afterward we popped into a store for some treats. I...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

I debated telling AH that I was going to a meeting Monday...but we are a one car family and I'm a stay at home mom, so it's very random that I need the car without him or the kids. So I told him. That was Friday, he didn't say much. He was amazing almost all weekend. Overly affectionate, very sweet. And he's us...

hummingbird1094 · hummingbird1094

My son had moved away in Jan 2016 so it has a little over 1 1/2 years since he lived with us. When he did live with us the last 3-4 years were horrible. He was in the wrong crowd with drinkers and he would go on weekends to parties. Finished high school and started college. His first semester he admitted t...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I am so thankful I have all of you for sanity. So I know from the meetings that in order to cope with things and not go crazy that I need to not expect too much from my AH and that I just need to acknowledge the behavior to myself and mover on (can;t change him) and not confront him--because will just make him a...

joker · joker

I have to vent: I am so disgusted, i mean discussed with the abf. I can not bear to be in the same room as him another moment! He is a useless piece of human being! I mean a waste of time and energy! I can not tolerate a couch potato! Its beyond disgusted that a woman, has to load a truck and take it to the dump, as...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Just passing through, folks, hoping to hear some of your experience, strength and hope. And maybe I'll even tell a story or two. Play safe.

Lyne · Lyne

Fourth Step-The reading discusses taking a fearless and moral inventory, in which the author thought his/her's was not good enough. What he realized was that he felt inadequate his entire life, so he wouldn't be able to do the 4th Step well enough either. But he learned that his best is good enough...

MizzB · MizzB

It's been a really bad weekend. ABF has been AWOL yesterday, lying about going to AA meetings can coming back wasted. Telling me he has a counsellor meeting today but telling his mum a different time so lying again - doubt he's even been to the counsellor but I'm removing myself from that. But I'm stru...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

i turned 60 yesterday and i had a wonderful birthday. was a bit anxious for a little while but it[the anxiety] died of boredom lol anyway boyfriend gave me this big box stuffed with dvds,cds,my fave crackers and a jack skellton soft plush we went to starbucks,then to the museum to see a great Chagall exh...

Fooled · Fooled

Hey everyone I know its been a while since I posted but I am actively working my recovery! A situation has just come up and I am struggling. My sponsor is unavailable and out of the 3 program friends I called - I got 3 voicemails. I am acutely aware that I need to diffuse this moment before it complet...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Yes...I am likely about to get slammed with a hurricane. Evacuating with 7 pets and a job where I am responsible for protecting others was not gonna happen. I have been sober 9 years. Last bad hit here was 2005 so I was WASTED through all of it. I hurt myself stumbling around in the dark. I let branches and...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hi Everyone- Today's reading is about what sponsorship can do for us in recovery. There is a profound line from this reading that hit me hard: "While the alcoholic picked up a drink and became drunk on alcohol, I picked up the alcoholic and became drunk on control and approval-seeking." My oh my is t...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My daughter did not come home this weekend .. I was sad .. lol .. seriously .. I miss that girl. I did get to see her she decided she had a lot of work to do and how she really was going to have to buckle down the realities of her schedule has fully hit her. I had a feeling that something else was going on and I men...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I love this reading apparently because it's highlighted in about 3 different colors .. lol. The statement that I love the most is: What am I doing with what I've got? Instead of crying over what I don't have, and wishing my life were different. I think that this goes into for me the A, boss, kids, whate...

Jearnee · Jearnee

Grateful for spending the morning with my ABF who was of sound mind and great spirits. But what is around the corner is not lost on me. It is achingly raw and blaring at me. I despise seeing around the next bend with negativity but hoping and being disappointed is much worse. Should i hope?

mamalioness · mamalioness

Today, my package from daughter darling was due to arrive...Inside this precious box would be my DVD on my sister's life from babyood till days b4 her death, and my "sisters" blanket that I had sent to her that has her scent on it and also 2 very adorable little shirts she had that her oldest daughter "gra...

ctmom · ctmom

My husband of twenty years is a great guy...when he's sober. I love him. I don't want to leave him. But I feel like every stupid cliche out there. We don't go out much. I make excuses. I feel stupid.

MizzB · MizzB

Hi, so I'm back at work after summer vacation. It's been a pretty hard and busy week - the results from exams weren't as good as needed and so I'm already trying to preempt what is going to be a very hard meeting with my boss and a year of micro management, always asking for more and tough conversations. I h...

BethBethBeth · BethBethBeth

"All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering." This really hit him me for me today and thought I'd share. The whole article can be found here: https://theunboundedspirit.com/how-not-to-be-offended/Sometimes I need to hear something a thousand t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha all and welcome to the Saturday Night Hilo Hawaii peace of mind and serenity AFG. It's been a great meeting since 10 AM this morning when and where I went down to the elementary school to fulfill and invitation to attend "Grand Parents" day at my grandson's school. I don't know about you all and...

AutieEmlyn · AutieEmlyn

hi everyone,i am a UK based newbie,i am 33 and have been at the mercy of my mothers brutal alcoholism since i was 5 years of age, my mother could not cope with me;i am moderate-severely classic autistic with mild intellectual disability,lifelong severe epilepsy and other issues including physical d...

Fergie · Fergie

i am in the middle of an upsetting situation with my A. He and our adult son are at odds over something. Essentially son wants to do a project his way and it differs greatly from his dad's way. Son has carefully reasoned out project, and my view is you're an adult and it's your project do what you want. Just b...

lizmi · lizmi

My husband has been sober for over 2 years and we have been married nearly 4. I had no idea that he had a problem; and no clue that his father is recovering (15 yrs) until after we were married. We are both in our late 20s/early 30s, and we have no social life together. Literally, we work, I cook, he comes ho...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone- thoughts and prayers to all who have been affected in TX and now FL-- I'm writing because Betty generously offered to switch my 'writing day' - so I will be writing on sundays. However-- I am in RI for an overnight...running a 5k w my kids tomorroW (early)! Anyway- I packed my running...

pinkchip · pinkchip

So, I find myself doing this every so often. I try not to live in fear, but I ask myself, "Am I okay to live on my own if my spouse was suddenly not there?" The reason I bring this up is, I know there are a bunch of you that have moved on to new, healthier relationships after a toxic, codependent mess of a relatio...

a4l · a4l

Got back from my city of birth after 13 years away from the place and 9 years out of the country. It was an extraordinary trip. Net result is more work ahead but with potential to leave a legacy for the future generations. So I'm not quite yet in a space where I can relax and will be needing my program as much a...

MizzB · MizzB

Ok, so this just happened. He came home drunk. Apparently not messaging me to say he'd be home late is perfectly ok as long as he knows where he is. He became very attacking of me verbally. Everything I do is wrong. I treat the kitchen like S***, I'm messy. He feels like I dominate him. He's unhappy. and th...

DellaElle · DellaElle

Hi there all, thank you for having me. I'm glad this board is here. I've been to quite a few local f2f Al-Anon meetings, so I understand a little bit about how Al-Anon works, sponsorship and what the Steps are. My issue is that I'm now partially home-bound, so it's been difficult to get to f2f meetings. S...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and Happy Friday MIP Family! I believe my little people hid my Courage to Change book - I can't find it!! Thank goodness that our toolkit includes more than one daily reader! Today's reading discusses the 'priceless gift of serenity' we get when we embrace recovery and work this progra...

Jearnee · Jearnee

Didn't know where else to turn. Been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over 3 years and I'm at my wits end. The roller coaster is suffocating and my heart aches. Sinking into a deep depression.

MizzTJ · MizzTJ

Hi. I'm not new to Al Anon but came here because I have a question that I don't want to bring up with my sponsor or homegroup. I apologize in advance because I'm sure many of you have been cheated on. To the point, I'm a woman married to an alcoholic and I'm starting to pursue a relationship with another man....

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, i haven't posted in ages, I wanted to check in - I am still reading all the time and reading everyone's stories keep me grounded and most importantly clear headed about the disease. This board is amazing. I have been apart from AH for two months after he was removed from our home for domesti...

serenity47 · serenity47

Those simple words were not what I wanted to hear when I arrived here looking for ways to save my daughter. I wanted answers, solutions, quick fixes etc and there was none. As a mother that was hard to accept. I had forgotten how to let go and focus on myself. . I had invested so much of myself in raisin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses our willingness to people please when we arrived at Al-Anon. Many of us come with the thought that it was our job to make those around us happy. The writer discusses having 'followship' skills instead of 'leadership' skills. We learn through Concept Nine, which states...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

Hi all, I'm new here. First post. In the last week I prayed hard about my lack of power over alcohol and my active alcoholic husband. I stopped nagging him about how much he drinks and how late he stays up. Well last night he stayed up late drinking, went to work and accidentally gave away several hundred d...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I have to admit I am struggling with "alcoholism as a disease." I guess I see it and believe it for the most part but it feels like a double edged sword to me. I believe it is extremely helpful for the recovering addict to start trying to forgive himself and work towards a healthier, sober version o...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

hi There, I am back to al anon after a few years not in program - i live in a town whereby the meetings are few and there is cross talk etc. I have been separated for 1.5 years and I am in a 'Family" town (small city in Canada) and have very few single friends. I am reaching out but i spend way too much time a lone...

mamalioness · mamalioness

WEll, my beloved sister passed on July 25th, at 3:37 pm, PST.. 6 weeks ago, tomorrow....its been hard...terrible...even my body gave out and I couldn't eat for 4 days....There were times, I would lose my rational/reasoning thinking and thought the grinding pain would never ease up, but I think this...

safire_sun · safire_sun

My bf has been sober for over a year. We were in therapy for a while when I discovered he was messaging other women on tinder. At the advice of both our therapist, I started Al-AnoN. He is no different from when he was drinking I am trying to work through the whole "Of you sober up a horse thief, he's still a h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author reflects on the amount of time they spend focusing their mental activity on whatever problem is in front of them. They even catch themselves thinking "Now I am concentrating on what is really important!" But,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

it's not always to post. Sometimes it's just to let you know we're here together. Seem silly? Just wanted to share that. ((hugs))) TT

el-cee · el-cee

I'm reliving 20 years of dysfunction through my son, his gf and her child. Its horrible to watch. Shes me, addicted to the drama, cant see clearly, thinks she can help fix it, thinks it will get better, thinks its all she deserves. Hes my ex, full of anger, bitterness, fear, and the worst bit the wee girl,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the discovery that we can choose to enjoy this day (the present). The writer reflects that he/she realized he/she was often stuck in the past-- over time it became clear that this was due to having lived with alcoholism. As a child that meant many 'pre...

joker · joker

After my anger vent about the abf being lazy, not moving, ect...I had posted my vent of anger about his laziness...well, he is now moving and doing dishes and singing, I work hard for my money...I burst out laughing...the insanity of it all..

joker · joker

Just had another Ah moment, reading posts here. I am not sure if I am on the right direction on this but your feed back would be good. The alcoholic uses any distractions: yelling, screaming, blaming, swearing, hitting, call downs, saying your crazy, degrading you, threatening to hurt you, smashing...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It can be hard to assert boundaries when dealing with active alcoholics. My landlord is steeped in his disease, now begins drinking in the morning. I avoid calling him as much as possible. His son is now taking over the business. He is arrogant and manipulative. The upkeep here is poor, people who do th...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Okay, So things have taken a turn. I'm not sure yet as to the direction this all will go. My active A has pushed me to my breaking point. Not to the point and walk away, there is still much love I feel for my AH. There has been a lot of issues going on that has created a lot of stress both on myself and AH. I have b...

joker · joker

Since I have been in therapy, and reading Al-Anon material, I have had an ah moment and came to this conclusion. When I respond with my feelings to the alcoholic, I am responding/reacting from a child perspective. If my inner child is only 2 years old, I respond and react from a 2 year old perspective or i...

joker · joker

Its been awhile since I posted. I have been working on me. I am attneding meetings and seeing a therapist. I am seeing progress. I left the abf last weekend for the whole weekend and went to a hotel for the night as I had enough. It was bliss. I just could not tolerate the hell and the drunken abuse anymore. I...

Lyne · Lyne

SERENITY: The author suggests that if we can let go of obsession and worry about others, we may be amazed that our mind can becom calm. Because we were used to living in a constant state of crisis, we may feel uncomfortable and not know what to do or how to feel. As we quiet the mental chatter about other...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me o...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Ruining My Own Peace (Preview) I'm really doing a number on myself tonight. Can't sleep and just playing the tapes-of-doom over and over in my head. I used to do a ton of this but have greatly improved since I started regularly attending Al-Anon. I think what's getting me tonight is I've been thinking that our marriage is likely endi...	WestMan	30	1886	Sep 14, 2017 by Iamhere
	Needing ESH on the "I Love You" (Preview) Still checking in w/the posts each day, but cannot linger due to all the things that need to get accomplished w/a move out. Yes, my son and I moved away from my AH. There have been good days and bad. Kid is loving it! I am in a good headspace as long as I hve limited contact w/AH. If I don't, then I do feel sadnes...	PosiesandPuppies	6	3941	Sep 14, 2017 by WestMan
	Courage to Change September 13 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the preciousness of each moment and making the decision to make each moment count. By relying on the AlAnon program, working the 12 steps, and improving their connection to HP, the author is able to stay in the moment and make positive change in that moment...	Skorpi	2	3645	Sep 13, 2017 by _bunny_
	one small step forwards... have I taken steps back too though? (Preview) So, after the ABF's AWOL weekend, I decided to get a dog trainer so I can get a dog sitter (my dog is aggressive towards people due to fear - she's had a hard life)or my parents to come round if necessary when I have late parent meetings. I'm preparing to be on my own. I'm just scared. We spoke this morning bef...	MizzB	9	1066	Sep 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	What am I grateful for today???? (Preview) TODAY: I am grateful for: My beloved older daughter has been clean for 5-1/2 years and going strong in her program Grateful that my 2nd daughter has gotten back into Al-anon and is working on step 1.. I am recovering, bit by bit over the loss of my dear sister Very grateful that hurricane Irma didn't har...	mamalioness	6	2366	Sep 13, 2017 by MizzB
	Man! I did it again! (Preview) I don't know what I was thinking. Somehow I just missed the red flag, and I walked right into dealing with another alcoholic. I volunteered for a community project. I really wanted to be a part of it, so I stepped up and volunteered my talent for setting up facebook group and getting the word out about thi...	Jen	3	2600	Sep 13, 2017 by Skorpi
	Help and Hope (Preview) for families and friends of Alcoholics. That is the cover title of the most recent Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism 2018 issue. The AVA issues are part and parcel of the literature in our house and my wife and I start the day with literature. If you want a seriously recovery effective tool I suggest you get...	Jerry F	2	670	Sep 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	How do you know Gods will? (Preview) The readings today about awareness acceptance and action were relevant to what im living right now. My youngest son, 20, not alcoholic but of course deeply effected, well his behaviour and choices seem to be leaning towards a shady lifestyle with shady other effected young people and I keep getting...	el-cee	10	3545	Sep 13, 2017 by el-cee
	Question...what to do... (Preview) So, you are in a relationship with someone. You do not live together, but you spend a great deal of time over each other's respective homes. Your SO lives with her two children, one of which, a son, is a heroin addict. So, you have all that going on. The son has a girlfriend who also uses heroin, and drinks....	Bo	16	1692	Sep 13, 2017 by Mattie
	I'm a Doofus Sometimes (Preview) So I had this crazy emotional roller-coaster week last week. When the weekend finally rolled around I was determined to get out of my head so it was off to the great outdoors. Capped it off yesterday (Sunday) with a great little hike with my daughters. Afterward we popped into a store for some treats. I...	WestMan	16	4330	Sep 12, 2017 by Bo
	Defensive AH (Preview) I debated telling AH that I was going to a meeting Monday...but we are a one car family and I'm a stay at home mom, so it's very random that I need the car without him or the kids. So I told him. That was Friday, he didn't say much. He was amazing almost all weekend. Overly affectionate, very sweet. And he's us...	Cmag3	17	3425	Sep 12, 2017 by milkwood
	Why can't I put the memories behind me? (Preview) My son had moved away in Jan 2016 so it has a little over 1 1/2 years since he lived with us. When he did live with us the last 3-4 years were horrible. He was in the wrong crowd with drinkers and he would go on weekends to parties. Finished high school and started college. His first semester he admitted t...	hummingbird1094	8	1254	Sep 12, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	How to deal with lies (Preview) I am so thankful I have all of you for sanity. So I know from the meetings that in order to cope with things and not go crazy that I need to not expect too much from my AH and that I just need to acknowledge the behavior to myself and mover on (can;t change him) and not confront him--because will just make him a...	Dancer66	5	1160	Sep 11, 2017 by mamalioness
	anger vent (Preview) I have to vent: I am so disgusted, i mean discussed with the abf. I can not bear to be in the same room as him another moment! He is a useless piece of human being! I mean a waste of time and energy! I can not tolerate a couch potato! Its beyond disgusted that a woman, has to load a truck and take it to the dump, as...	joker	6	881	Sep 11, 2017 by mamalioness
	Whoooosh (Preview) Just passing through, folks, hoping to hear some of your experience, strength and hope. And maybe I'll even tell a story or two. Play safe.	Wolfie55	8	1410	Sep 11, 2017 by tiredtonite
	C2C, 9/11 (Preview) Fourth Step-The reading discusses taking a fearless and moral inventory, in which the author thought his/her's was not good enough. What he realized was that he felt inadequate his entire life, so he wouldn't be able to do the 4th Step well enough either. But he learned that his best is good enough...	Lyne	5	1139	Sep 11, 2017 by WestMan
	Forgotten myself (Preview) It's been a really bad weekend. ABF has been AWOL yesterday, lying about going to AA meetings can coming back wasted. Telling me he has a counsellor meeting today but telling his mum a different time so lying again - doubt he's even been to the counsellor but I'm removing myself from that. But I'm stru...	MizzB	15	1099	Sep 11, 2017 by MizzB
	my birthday (Preview) i turned 60 yesterday and i had a wonderful birthday. was a bit anxious for a little while but it[the anxiety] died of boredom lol anyway boyfriend gave me this big box stuffed with dvds,cds,my fave crackers and a jack skellton soft plush we went to starbucks,then to the museum to see a great Chagall exh...	YARNCRAZY	12	1382	Sep 11, 2017 by PosiesandPuppies
	Reaching out (Preview) Hey everyone I know its been a while since I posted but I am actively working my recovery! A situation has just come up and I am struggling. My sponsor is unavailable and out of the 3 program friends I called - I got 3 voicemails. I am acutely aware that I need to diffuse this moment before it complet...	Fooled	13	1580	Sep 11, 2017 by Freetime
	South Florida (Preview) Yes...I am likely about to get slammed with a hurricane. Evacuating with 7 pets and a job where I am responsible for protecting others was not gonna happen. I have been sober 9 years. Last bad hit here was 2005 so I was WASTED through all of it. I hurt myself stumbling around in the dark. I let branches and...	pinkchip	29	2473	Sep 11, 2017 by milkwood
	Hope for Today sept 10 (Preview) Hi Everyone- Today's reading is about what sponsorship can do for us in recovery. There is a profound line from this reading that hit me hard: "While the alcoholic picked up a drink and became drunk on alcohol, I picked up the alcoholic and became drunk on control and approval-seeking." My oh my is t...	yanksfan51	3	1490	Sep 10, 2017 by hotrod
	Some observations .. (Preview) My daughter did not come home this weekend .. I was sad .. lol .. seriously .. I miss that girl. I did get to see her she decided she had a lot of work to do and how she really was going to have to buckle down the realities of her schedule has fully hit her. I had a feeling that something else was going on and I men...	SerenityRUS	2	989	Sep 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT 9/9 - What am I doing with what I have? (Preview) I love this reading apparently because it's highlighted in about 3 different colors .. lol. The statement that I love the most is: What am I doing with what I've got? Instead of crying over what I don't have, and wishing my life were different. I think that this goes into for me the A, boss, kids, whate...	SerenityRUS	2	2430	Sep 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Good days, bad days (Preview) Grateful for spending the morning with my ABF who was of sound mind and great spirits. But what is around the corner is not lost on me. It is achingly raw and blaring at me. I despise seeing around the next bend with negativity but hoping and being disappointed is much worse. Should i hope?	Jearnee	6	1154	Sep 10, 2017 by Bo
	a small "dip" then a BIG progress event (Preview) Today, my package from daughter darling was due to arrive...Inside this precious box would be my DVD on my sister's life from babyood till days b4 her death, and my "sisters" blanket that I had sent to her that has her scent on it and also 2 very adorable little shirts she had that her oldest daughter "gra...	mamalioness	4	2227	Sep 10, 2017 by hotrod
	getting the guts to go to a meeting (Preview) My husband of twenty years is a great guy...when he's sober. I love him. I don't want to leave him. But I feel like every stupid cliche out there. We don't go out much. I make excuses. I feel stupid.	ctmom	12	3138	Sep 10, 2017 by MizzB
	Give me strength tonight (Preview) Hi, so I'm back at work after summer vacation. It's been a pretty hard and busy week - the results from exams weren't as good as needed and so I'm already trying to preempt what is going to be a very hard meeting with my boss and a year of micro management, always asking for more and tough conversations. I h...	MizzB	9	1300	Sep 9, 2017 by Jerry F
	A good line I found online today (Preview) "All anger, all acting out, all harshness, all criticism, is in truth a form of suffering." This really hit him me for me today and thought I'd share. The whole article can be found here: https://theunboundedspirit.com/how-not-to-be-offended/Sometimes I need to hear something a thousand t...	BethBethBeth	3	1248	Sep 9, 2017 by DellaElle
	Finding Peace of mind and serenity where ever it is. (Preview) Aloha all and welcome to the Saturday Night Hilo Hawaii peace of mind and serenity AFG. It's been a great meeting since 10 AM this morning when and where I went down to the elementary school to fulfill and invitation to attend "Grand Parents" day at my grandson's school. I don't know about you all and...	Jerry F	9	1192	Sep 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	my strength is non existant (Preview) hi everyone,i am a UK based newbie,i am 33 and have been at the mercy of my mothers brutal alcoholism since i was 5 years of age, my mother could not cope with me;i am moderate-severely classic autistic with mild intellectual disability,lifelong severe epilepsy and other issues including physical d...	AutieEmlyn	8	704	Sep 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Let the crisis happen (Preview) i am in the middle of an upsetting situation with my A. He and our adult son are at odds over something. Essentially son wants to do a project his way and it differs greatly from his dad's way. Son has carefully reasoned out project, and my view is you're an adult and it's your project do what you want. Just b...	Fergie	7	1261	Sep 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	Dry Drunk Husband dry drunk husband (Preview) My husband has been sober for over 2 years and we have been married nearly 4. I had no idea that he had a problem; and no clue that his father is recovering (15 yrs) until after we were married. We are both in our late 20s/early 30s, and we have no social life together. Literally, we work, I cook, he comes ho...	lizmi	21	15277	Sep 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today-- for tomorrow! (Preview) Hello Everyone- thoughts and prayers to all who have been affected in TX and now FL-- I'm writing because Betty generously offered to switch my 'writing day' - so I will be writing on sundays. However-- I am in RI for an overnight...running a 5k w my kids tomorroW (early)! Anyway- I packed my running...	yanksfan51	3	3502	Sep 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	Codependency Check (Preview) So, I find myself doing this every so often. I try not to live in fear, but I ask myself, "Am I okay to live on my own if my spouse was suddenly not there?" The reason I bring this up is, I know there are a bunch of you that have moved on to new, healthier relationships after a toxic, codependent mess of a relatio...	pinkchip	11	3233	Sep 9, 2017 by 1911A1
	Stopping in to map the journey. (Preview) Got back from my city of birth after 13 years away from the place and 9 years out of the country. It was an extraordinary trip. Net result is more work ahead but with potential to leave a legacy for the future generations. So I'm not quite yet in a space where I can relax and will be needing my program as much a...	a4l	4	1020	Sep 9, 2017 by DavidG
	Break point. (Preview) Ok, so this just happened. He came home drunk. Apparently not messaging me to say he'd be home late is perfectly ok as long as he knows where he is. He became very attacking of me verbally. Everything I do is wrong. I treat the kitchen like S***, I'm messy. He feels like I dominate him. He's unhappy. and th...	MizzB	9	2921	Sep 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Newish to Al-Anon - Recommend literature to start out with? Literature Recommendations (Preview) Hi there all, thank you for having me. I'm glad this board is here. I've been to quite a few local f2f Al-Anon meetings, so I understand a little bit about how Al-Anon works, sponsorship and what the Steps are. My issue is that I'm now partially home-bound, so it's been difficult to get to f2f meetings. S...	DellaElle	12	10000	Sep 8, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today (9/8/17) (Preview) Good morning and Happy Friday MIP Family! I believe my little people hid my Courage to Change book - I can't find it!! Thank goodness that our toolkit includes more than one daily reader! Today's reading discusses the 'priceless gift of serenity' we get when we embrace recovery and work this progra...	Iamhere	2	2814	Sep 8, 2017 by Aline
	New and lost .... (Preview) Didn't know where else to turn. Been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over 3 years and I'm at my wits end. The roller coaster is suffocating and my heart aches. Sinking into a deep depression.	Jearnee	6	1245	Sep 8, 2017 by MizzB
	One Question (Preview) Hi. I'm not new to Al Anon but came here because I have a question that I don't want to bring up with my sponsor or homegroup. I apologize in advance because I'm sure many of you have been cheated on. To the point, I'm a woman married to an alcoholic and I'm starting to pursue a relationship with another man....	MizzTJ	15	2509	Sep 8, 2017 by MizzB
	A small update (Preview) Hi everyone, i haven't posted in ages, I wanted to check in - I am still reading all the time and reading everyone's stories keep me grounded and most importantly clear headed about the disease. This board is amazing. I have been apart from AH for two months after he was removed from our home for domesti...	VickiR	7	3049	Sep 8, 2017 by VickiR
	Putting the focus on myself (Preview) Those simple words were not what I wanted to hear when I arrived here looking for ways to save my daughter. I wanted answers, solutions, quick fixes etc and there was none. As a mother that was hard to accept. I had forgotten how to let go and focus on myself. . I had invested so much of myself in raisin...	serenity47	3	2603	Sep 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today (9/7/17) (Preview) Today's reading discusses our willingness to people please when we arrived at Al-Anon. Many of us come with the thought that it was our job to make those around us happy. The writer discusses having 'followship' skills instead of 'leadership' skills. We learn through Concept Nine, which states...	Iamhere	3	1176	Sep 7, 2017 by DavidG
	It's happening (Preview) Hi all, I'm new here. First post. In the last week I prayed hard about my lack of power over alcohol and my active alcoholic husband. I stopped nagging him about how much he drinks and how late he stays up. Well last night he stayed up late drinking, went to work and accidentally gave away several hundred d...	Cmag3	3	2436	Sep 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholism as a disease and lingering guilt for putting myself first (Preview) Hi All, I have to admit I am struggling with "alcoholism as a disease." I guess I see it and believe it for the most part but it feels like a double edged sword to me. I believe it is extremely helpful for the recovering addict to start trying to forgive himself and work towards a healthier, sober version o...	gratefulforafuture	17	2024	Sep 7, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Dealing With Loneliness after a Separation in Program (Preview) hi There, I am back to al anon after a few years not in program - i live in a town whereby the meetings are few and there is cross talk etc. I have been separated for 1.5 years and I am in a 'Family" town (small city in Canada) and have very few single friends. I am reaching out but i spend way too much time a lone...	Charlotte22	8	3194	Sep 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Well its been 6 weeks tomorrow (Preview) WEll, my beloved sister passed on July 25th, at 3:37 pm, PST.. 6 weeks ago, tomorrow....its been hard...terrible...even my body gave out and I couldn't eat for 4 days....There were times, I would lose my rational/reasoning thinking and thought the grinding pain would never ease up, but I think this...	mamalioness	13	1812	Sep 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Dry drunk in recovery? (Preview) My bf has been sober for over a year. We were in therapy for a while when I discovered he was messaging other women on tinder. At the advice of both our therapist, I started Al-AnoN. He is no different from when he was drinking I am trying to work through the whole "Of you sober up a horse thief, he's still a h...	safire_sun	8	708	Sep 6, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Courage to Change September 6 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author reflects on the amount of time they spend focusing their mental activity on whatever problem is in front of them. They even catch themselves thinking "Now I am concentrating on what is really important!" But,...	Skorpi	2	869	Sep 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	When I sign on... (Preview) it's not always to post. Sometimes it's just to let you know we're here together. Seem silly? Just wanted to share that. ((hugs))) TT	tiredtonite	7	665	Sep 6, 2017 by Skorpi
	More to learn? (Preview) I'm reliving 20 years of dysfunction through my son, his gf and her child. Its horrible to watch. Shes me, addicted to the drama, cant see clearly, thinks she can help fix it, thinks it will get better, thinks its all she deserves. Hes my ex, full of anger, bitterness, fear, and the worst bit the wee girl,...	el-cee	8	665	Sep 5, 2017 by _bunny_
	Hope for Today Sept 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the discovery that we can choose to enjoy this day (the present). The writer reflects that he/she realized he/she was often stuck in the past-- over time it became clear that this was due to having lived with alcoholism. As a child that meant many 'pre...	yanksfan51	6	780	Sep 5, 2017 by bud
	Had a good laugh (Preview) After my anger vent about the abf being lazy, not moving, ect...I had posted my vent of anger about his laziness...well, he is now moving and doing dishes and singing, I work hard for my money...I burst out laughing...the insanity of it all..	joker	5	625	Sep 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	distractions used (Preview) Just had another Ah moment, reading posts here. I am not sure if I am on the right direction on this but your feed back would be good. The alcoholic uses any distractions: yelling, screaming, blaming, swearing, hitting, call downs, saying your crazy, degrading you, threatening to hurt you, smashing...	joker	7	723	Sep 5, 2017 by Bo
	May be a nudge from hp (Preview) It can be hard to assert boundaries when dealing with active alcoholics. My landlord is steeped in his disease, now begins drinking in the morning. I avoid calling him as much as possible. His son is now taking over the business. He is arrogant and manipulative. The upkeep here is poor, people who do th...	tiredtonite	3	2651	Sep 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Living thankfully with an AH (Preview) Okay, So things have taken a turn. I'm not sure yet as to the direction this all will go. My active A has pushed me to my breaking point. Not to the point and walk away, there is still much love I feel for my AH. There has been a lot of issues going on that has created a lot of stress both on myself and AH. I have b...	Curlyblu	8	684	Sep 4, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Emotions VS thinking (Preview) Since I have been in therapy, and reading Al-Anon material, I have had an ah moment and came to this conclusion. When I respond with my feelings to the alcoholic, I am responding/reacting from a child perspective. If my inner child is only 2 years old, I respond and react from a 2 year old perspective or i...	joker	2	635	Sep 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	seeing the circle (Preview) Its been awhile since I posted. I have been working on me. I am attneding meetings and seeing a therapist. I am seeing progress. I left the abf last weekend for the whole weekend and went to a hotel for the night as I had enough. It was bliss. I just could not tolerate the hell and the drunken abuse anymore. I...	joker	6	663	Sep 4, 2017 by Flyfree
	C2C 9/4 (Preview) SERENITY: The author suggests that if we can let go of obsession and worry about others, we may be amazed that our mind can becom calm. Because we were used to living in a constant state of crisis, we may feel uncomfortable and not know what to do or how to feel. As we quiet the mental chatter about other...	Lyne	2	628	Sep 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 9-3-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me o...	hotrod	6	813	Sep 4, 2017 by Aline
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.