Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Fergie · Fergie

i am in the middle of an upsetting situation with my A. He and our adult son are at odds over something. Essentially son wants to do a project his way and it differs greatly from his dad's way. Son has carefully reasoned out project, and my view is you're an adult and it's your project do what you want. Just b...

lizmi · lizmi

My husband has been sober for over 2 years and we have been married nearly 4. I had no idea that he had a problem; and no clue that his father is recovering (15 yrs) until after we were married. We are both in our late 20s/early 30s, and we have no social life together. Literally, we work, I cook, he comes ho...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello Everyone- thoughts and prayers to all who have been affected in TX and now FL-- I'm writing because Betty generously offered to switch my 'writing day' - so I will be writing on sundays. However-- I am in RI for an overnight...running a 5k w my kids tomorroW (early)! Anyway- I packed my running...

pinkchip · pinkchip

So, I find myself doing this every so often. I try not to live in fear, but I ask myself, "Am I okay to live on my own if my spouse was suddenly not there?" The reason I bring this up is, I know there are a bunch of you that have moved on to new, healthier relationships after a toxic, codependent mess of a relatio...

a4l · a4l

Got back from my city of birth after 13 years away from the place and 9 years out of the country. It was an extraordinary trip. Net result is more work ahead but with potential to leave a legacy for the future generations. So I'm not quite yet in a space where I can relax and will be needing my program as much a...

MizzB · MizzB

Ok, so this just happened. He came home drunk. Apparently not messaging me to say he'd be home late is perfectly ok as long as he knows where he is. He became very attacking of me verbally. Everything I do is wrong. I treat the kitchen like S***, I'm messy. He feels like I dominate him. He's unhappy. and th...

DellaElle · DellaElle

Hi there all, thank you for having me. I'm glad this board is here. I've been to quite a few local f2f Al-Anon meetings, so I understand a little bit about how Al-Anon works, sponsorship and what the Steps are. My issue is that I'm now partially home-bound, so it's been difficult to get to f2f meetings. S...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning and Happy Friday MIP Family! I believe my little people hid my Courage to Change book - I can't find it!! Thank goodness that our toolkit includes more than one daily reader! Today's reading discusses the 'priceless gift of serenity' we get when we embrace recovery and work this progra...

Jearnee · Jearnee

Didn't know where else to turn. Been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over 3 years and I'm at my wits end. The roller coaster is suffocating and my heart aches. Sinking into a deep depression.

MizzTJ · MizzTJ

Hi. I'm not new to Al Anon but came here because I have a question that I don't want to bring up with my sponsor or homegroup. I apologize in advance because I'm sure many of you have been cheated on. To the point, I'm a woman married to an alcoholic and I'm starting to pursue a relationship with another man....

VickiR · VickiR

Hi everyone, i haven't posted in ages, I wanted to check in - I am still reading all the time and reading everyone's stories keep me grounded and most importantly clear headed about the disease. This board is amazing. I have been apart from AH for two months after he was removed from our home for domesti...

serenity47 · serenity47

Those simple words were not what I wanted to hear when I arrived here looking for ways to save my daughter. I wanted answers, solutions, quick fixes etc and there was none. As a mother that was hard to accept. I had forgotten how to let go and focus on myself. . I had invested so much of myself in raisin...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses our willingness to people please when we arrived at Al-Anon. Many of us come with the thought that it was our job to make those around us happy. The writer discusses having 'followship' skills instead of 'leadership' skills. We learn through Concept Nine, which states...

Cmag3 · Cmag3

Hi all, I'm new here. First post. In the last week I prayed hard about my lack of power over alcohol and my active alcoholic husband. I stopped nagging him about how much he drinks and how late he stays up. Well last night he stayed up late drinking, went to work and accidentally gave away several hundred d...

gratefulforafuture · gratefulforafuture

Hi All, I have to admit I am struggling with "alcoholism as a disease." I guess I see it and believe it for the most part but it feels like a double edged sword to me. I believe it is extremely helpful for the recovering addict to start trying to forgive himself and work towards a healthier, sober version o...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

hi There, I am back to al anon after a few years not in program - i live in a town whereby the meetings are few and there is cross talk etc. I have been separated for 1.5 years and I am in a 'Family" town (small city in Canada) and have very few single friends. I am reaching out but i spend way too much time a lone...

mamalioness · mamalioness

WEll, my beloved sister passed on July 25th, at 3:37 pm, PST.. 6 weeks ago, tomorrow....its been hard...terrible...even my body gave out and I couldn't eat for 4 days....There were times, I would lose my rational/reasoning thinking and thought the grinding pain would never ease up, but I think this...

safire_sun · safire_sun

My bf has been sober for over a year. We were in therapy for a while when I discovered he was messaging other women on tinder. At the advice of both our therapist, I started Al-AnoN. He is no different from when he was drinking I am trying to work through the whole "Of you sober up a horse thief, he's still a h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author reflects on the amount of time they spend focusing their mental activity on whatever problem is in front of them. They even catch themselves thinking "Now I am concentrating on what is really important!" But,...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

it's not always to post. Sometimes it's just to let you know we're here together. Seem silly? Just wanted to share that. ((hugs))) TT

el-cee · el-cee

I'm reliving 20 years of dysfunction through my son, his gf and her child. Its horrible to watch. Shes me, addicted to the drama, cant see clearly, thinks she can help fix it, thinks it will get better, thinks its all she deserves. Hes my ex, full of anger, bitterness, fear, and the worst bit the wee girl,...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the discovery that we can choose to enjoy this day (the present). The writer reflects that he/she realized he/she was often stuck in the past-- over time it became clear that this was due to having lived with alcoholism. As a child that meant many 'pre...

joker · joker

After my anger vent about the abf being lazy, not moving, ect...I had posted my vent of anger about his laziness...well, he is now moving and doing dishes and singing, I work hard for my money...I burst out laughing...the insanity of it all..

joker · joker

Just had another Ah moment, reading posts here. I am not sure if I am on the right direction on this but your feed back would be good. The alcoholic uses any distractions: yelling, screaming, blaming, swearing, hitting, call downs, saying your crazy, degrading you, threatening to hurt you, smashing...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

It can be hard to assert boundaries when dealing with active alcoholics. My landlord is steeped in his disease, now begins drinking in the morning. I avoid calling him as much as possible. His son is now taking over the business. He is arrogant and manipulative. The upkeep here is poor, people who do th...

Curlyblu · Curlyblu

Okay, So things have taken a turn. I'm not sure yet as to the direction this all will go. My active A has pushed me to my breaking point. Not to the point and walk away, there is still much love I feel for my AH. There has been a lot of issues going on that has created a lot of stress both on myself and AH. I have b...

joker · joker

Since I have been in therapy, and reading Al-Anon material, I have had an ah moment and came to this conclusion. When I respond with my feelings to the alcoholic, I am responding/reacting from a child perspective. If my inner child is only 2 years old, I respond and react from a 2 year old perspective or i...

joker · joker

Its been awhile since I posted. I have been working on me. I am attneding meetings and seeing a therapist. I am seeing progress. I left the abf last weekend for the whole weekend and went to a hotel for the night as I had enough. It was bliss. I just could not tolerate the hell and the drunken abuse anymore. I...

Lyne · Lyne

SERENITY: The author suggests that if we can let go of obsession and worry about others, we may be amazed that our mind can becom calm. Because we were used to living in a constant state of crisis, we may feel uncomfortable and not know what to do or how to feel. As we quiet the mental chatter about other...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me o...

audrey64 · audrey64

New here and struggling. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few years and he recently moved in. He has been sober and very active in AA for about 6 months, but before that he relapsed during the course of our relationship and I now regret sticking it out and forgiving. Even before the rela...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Along with other antics which I've already posted about, my recovering abf dau is getting married this week. He's been sober a good amount of years now and his daughter has been around for holidays and he has always shown her love. She doesn't seem to want to let him have full participation in her weddin...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Today's reading really struck me it's a constant lesson for me in terms of loving and accepting people where they are at .. I think I have a different spin, .. unconditional love is over rated .. unconditional acceptance .. that's where real freedom is in a relationship be it friendship or love, the re...

Jerry F · Jerry F

She is our grand-daughter in law and she is in Hilo for a visit and she is a beauty and the mother of 3 stunningly beautiful great-grand children and she is a daughter of an alcoholic and the wife of the son of an alcoholic/addict and she loves to drink and ....get drunk. My heart is whimpering again as i...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I am not sure how many of the MIP family have this little reader which has been around for while. It is not a daily and can be read daily. The contributions within the book are from the world-wide fellowship which makes it a very supportive reader. It is part of my wife and my literature library at home...

unbroken13 · unbroken13

My heart is so heavy to say that on August 2, 2017 My mom flew with the angels. She was the first person to love me, to hold me in her arms, my first kiss, my first everything. She was my rock..she was the glue that kept our family together. We had many laughs, right up till the end. How many can say they had a sin...

MizzB · MizzB

I had an ok holiday. ABF doesn't drink when he's with me, he's not even tempted. We didn't talk about anything but I feel it was ok to Ostrich for a bit. We talked when we got back. He wants to keep everything fun and light because if home is going to just be arguments he's just going to want to drink after a tou...

el-cee · el-cee

I don't think I've ever sincerely asked but I'm feeling the power of prayer more along my journey. This disease within my son has created a crisis and homelessness, my biggest fear , may be a possibility yet again for him. Please pray my son gets help and that those effected by his drinking get help and pr...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I told my sponsor that I no longer wanted them as a sponsor some months ago. Some weeks ago I shared in my meeting about letting go of a friend and the circumstances around that without naming the person. My sponsor was in attendance. I have not returned to that meeting and am not planning on it any time soo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the second tradition that reminds us that a loving God expresses himself through our group conscience. The writer discusses how their small group almost seemed 'stuck in a rut'. They took a group conscience meeting and decided to try some changes - used additional CAL...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Well, after only 1 day back at the house, I made the move to live separately from my AH. I am not sure why I thought this could be smooth... probably b/c he was "supposed" to have been in treatment. Going back and sleeping at the old house just one night just seemed too weird, and I believe was sending AH the w...

_bunny_ · _bunny_

My lovely, but sometimes toxic AH is out drinking and sends me a text "you know, you always ruin my holiday weekends" Really? I always ruin your holidays!?" Pre Al-Anon me would have marched my arse down to the bar, right hooked him in the jaw and told him to put his phone away (true story, not proud), but t...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses expectations and motives. Many of us have tried to change other people to suit our own desires. We knew what we needed, and when our wanted needs weren't met, we often blamed other people. We were looking outside ourselves for one who would be there but not impose. Our wa...

Iamhere · Iamhere

With a heavy heart, I share that one of my gal pals who attends our Saturday morning meeting opted out of the meeting this past Saturday, and instead ended her life. We are shocked and grieving as she was a lovely spirit and a gentle soul. I ask that any who feel compelled to pray for those suffering with...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am a meddler and for that reason alone I belong in Alanon .. lol .. seriously. I am a chronic compulsive meddler and it is not easy to battle instincts. My daughter and her mental health issues with anxiety have really brought out some things in me I thought I had been pretty good about setting aside .....

Skorpi · Skorpi

In today's reading, the author shares their sponsor's suggestion to a low day - making a list of all things that made them unhappy - and the sponsor's suggestion to a good day - making a gratitude list. When the author compared both lists, they found that the lists were almost identical. The people, pla...

Lee43stan · Lee43stan

The WSO suggests Alanon does not use these three terms: qualifier, codependent, crosstalk. They are terms used in counseling, therapy. In Alanon the focus is on me and I belong because I have been affected by a friend or family who drinks. The A drinks and I am affected by/ obsessed to the A. I need help a...

Aline · Aline

I've stopped financially enabling my A and mostly have a good handle on detachment, now I'm wondering how "with love" comes into this. Might be I'm just letting his negative attitude get to me (what a shocker that would be!) and I'm actually doing ok with this part as well... I'm not sure. Recently our i...

el-cee · el-cee

Ive realised that I cant ride on my early days step work forever, I've got to keep on with the step 4 inventory, the self searching seems to be so important for our recovery and for our continued quest towards emotional sobriety. Alcoholism seems to come into my life like an earthquake and shakes me to t...

Lyne · Lyne

For about 26 years I have been devoted to my A. I have not been her priority, she had an emotional affair, lied, snuck around, and had other priorities , especially drinking. Towards the end of 2016 I bought a condo to live half time near my son and granddaughter . NOW she is devastated and feels fear an...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about setting boundaries and detachment with love. The writer describes a relationship with his/her mother which is affected by alcoholism, even after the mother is no longer drinking. One phrase used to describe the relationship is 'I didn't know wher...

Ruthie050573 · Ruthie050573

So, I've been around alcoholics my whole life. Intend to be an enabler... I was married 21 years to an alcoholic who's had 3 DUIs... walked the road of those financially and legal consequences with him for 2 of those while married. The other one was while divorced and walked the road legally by refusing...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Good morning all. I have just been feeling so sad the last couple of days at the destruction the disease causes in the sufferer and in the relationships around the alcoholic. I know that's why we have al-anon but it doesn't take away the pain of a loved one drinking themselves to death or of the hurtful st...

WestMan · WestMan

I've been slowly easing into Al-Anon since around April. I'm happy to say that it has been quite helpful. Both the face-to-face meetings and this forum (thank you) have been very good for me. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for someone who might be a potential sponsor. I wasn't in a hurry but hav...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

We are finally getting some answers to what has been going on with my girl. First off she's doing great .. it's really been a crazy ride, I have learned soooo much. I was finally able to get her into the pysch which I am never thrilled with only because it has been my experience in a small town based upon th...

Peetzie · Peetzie

can someone tell me at what stage 'in the rooms' of AA do phone numbers get exchanged. Is it something that happens between members when they are having cosy one to one chats with each other. I can't for the life of me see where amongst the sharing and quoting of working the programme etc, it is suggested t...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

ive been living with my boyfriend happily for the past 5 mths but he has this werid situation that is tearing me up. i have tried to give the thing back to him,tried to ignore it,give it to higher power with no results basically a few years ago, he co signed on a friend of a friend's apartment lease. he knows...

Buckeye Girl · Buckeye Girl

My adult daughter has relapsed for the second time in 3 months. She went to a 30 day rehab and got back together during that time with her ex boyfriend who had dumped her. She was sober for a few weeks, and they were back together, until she went on a several day binge, and the boyfriend dumped her again. I th...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So I had to bolt from our shared home this past weekend. The reality of Kid and I moving out hit AH and things just got to emotional... not angry mind you, just emotional and I began to feel sorrow and guilt for what I KNOW in my heart to be the next right thing for me and Kid. I knew I was in danger of listening to...

Bo · Bo

We face so many things as a result of this disease...but I face many things as a result of me. It could be my "stinking thinking" or my expectations, or me wanting to be right, wanting what I want, which is always something good, perhaps I just want the alcoholic to want to get better. Who knows. Often, som...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Let the crisis happen (Preview) i am in the middle of an upsetting situation with my A. He and our adult son are at odds over something. Essentially son wants to do a project his way and it differs greatly from his dad's way. Son has carefully reasoned out project, and my view is you're an adult and it's your project do what you want. Just b...	Fergie	7	1167	Sep 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	Dry Drunk Husband dry drunk husband (Preview) My husband has been sober for over 2 years and we have been married nearly 4. I had no idea that he had a problem; and no clue that his father is recovering (15 yrs) until after we were married. We are both in our late 20s/early 30s, and we have no social life together. Literally, we work, I cook, he comes ho...	lizmi	21	13982	Sep 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	Hope for Today-- for tomorrow! (Preview) Hello Everyone- thoughts and prayers to all who have been affected in TX and now FL-- I'm writing because Betty generously offered to switch my 'writing day' - so I will be writing on sundays. However-- I am in RI for an overnight...running a 5k w my kids tomorroW (early)! Anyway- I packed my running...	yanksfan51	3	3054	Sep 9, 2017 by mamalioness
	Codependency Check (Preview) So, I find myself doing this every so often. I try not to live in fear, but I ask myself, "Am I okay to live on my own if my spouse was suddenly not there?" The reason I bring this up is, I know there are a bunch of you that have moved on to new, healthier relationships after a toxic, codependent mess of a relatio...	pinkchip	11	2860	Sep 9, 2017 by 1911A1
	Stopping in to map the journey. (Preview) Got back from my city of birth after 13 years away from the place and 9 years out of the country. It was an extraordinary trip. Net result is more work ahead but with potential to leave a legacy for the future generations. So I'm not quite yet in a space where I can relax and will be needing my program as much a...	a4l	4	922	Sep 9, 2017 by DavidG
	Break point. (Preview) Ok, so this just happened. He came home drunk. Apparently not messaging me to say he'd be home late is perfectly ok as long as he knows where he is. He became very attacking of me verbally. Everything I do is wrong. I treat the kitchen like S***, I'm messy. He feels like I dominate him. He's unhappy. and th...	MizzB	9	2597	Sep 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Newish to Al-Anon - Recommend literature to start out with? Literature Recommendations (Preview) Hi there all, thank you for having me. I'm glad this board is here. I've been to quite a few local f2f Al-Anon meetings, so I understand a little bit about how Al-Anon works, sponsorship and what the Steps are. My issue is that I'm now partially home-bound, so it's been difficult to get to f2f meetings. S...	DellaElle	12	8830	Sep 8, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today (9/8/17) (Preview) Good morning and Happy Friday MIP Family! I believe my little people hid my Courage to Change book - I can't find it!! Thank goodness that our toolkit includes more than one daily reader! Today's reading discusses the 'priceless gift of serenity' we get when we embrace recovery and work this progra...	Iamhere	2	2435	Sep 8, 2017 by Aline
	New and lost .... (Preview) Didn't know where else to turn. Been in a relationship with an alcoholic for over 3 years and I'm at my wits end. The roller coaster is suffocating and my heart aches. Sinking into a deep depression.	Jearnee	6	1156	Sep 8, 2017 by MizzB
	One Question (Preview) Hi. I'm not new to Al Anon but came here because I have a question that I don't want to bring up with my sponsor or homegroup. I apologize in advance because I'm sure many of you have been cheated on. To the point, I'm a woman married to an alcoholic and I'm starting to pursue a relationship with another man....	MizzTJ	15	2409	Sep 8, 2017 by MizzB
	A small update (Preview) Hi everyone, i haven't posted in ages, I wanted to check in - I am still reading all the time and reading everyone's stories keep me grounded and most importantly clear headed about the disease. This board is amazing. I have been apart from AH for two months after he was removed from our home for domesti...	VickiR	7	2693	Sep 8, 2017 by VickiR
	Putting the focus on myself (Preview) Those simple words were not what I wanted to hear when I arrived here looking for ways to save my daughter. I wanted answers, solutions, quick fixes etc and there was none. As a mother that was hard to accept. I had forgotten how to let go and focus on myself. . I had invested so much of myself in raisin...	serenity47	3	2277	Sep 8, 2017 by hotrod
	Hope for Today (9/7/17) (Preview) Today's reading discusses our willingness to people please when we arrived at Al-Anon. Many of us come with the thought that it was our job to make those around us happy. The writer discusses having 'followship' skills instead of 'leadership' skills. We learn through Concept Nine, which states...	Iamhere	3	1089	Sep 7, 2017 by DavidG
	It's happening (Preview) Hi all, I'm new here. First post. In the last week I prayed hard about my lack of power over alcohol and my active alcoholic husband. I stopped nagging him about how much he drinks and how late he stays up. Well last night he stayed up late drinking, went to work and accidentally gave away several hundred d...	Cmag3	3	2093	Sep 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholism as a disease and lingering guilt for putting myself first (Preview) Hi All, I have to admit I am struggling with "alcoholism as a disease." I guess I see it and believe it for the most part but it feels like a double edged sword to me. I believe it is extremely helpful for the recovering addict to start trying to forgive himself and work towards a healthier, sober version o...	gratefulforafuture	17	1937	Sep 7, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Dealing With Loneliness after a Separation in Program (Preview) hi There, I am back to al anon after a few years not in program - i live in a town whereby the meetings are few and there is cross talk etc. I have been separated for 1.5 years and I am in a 'Family" town (small city in Canada) and have very few single friends. I am reaching out but i spend way too much time a lone...	Charlotte22	8	2774	Sep 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Well its been 6 weeks tomorrow (Preview) WEll, my beloved sister passed on July 25th, at 3:37 pm, PST.. 6 weeks ago, tomorrow....its been hard...terrible...even my body gave out and I couldn't eat for 4 days....There were times, I would lose my rational/reasoning thinking and thought the grinding pain would never ease up, but I think this...	mamalioness	13	1731	Sep 7, 2017 by mamalioness
	Dry drunk in recovery? (Preview) My bf has been sober for over a year. We were in therapy for a while when I discovered he was messaging other women on tinder. At the advice of both our therapist, I started Al-AnoN. He is no different from when he was drinking I am trying to work through the whole "Of you sober up a horse thief, he's still a h...	safire_sun	8	621	Sep 6, 2017 by Wolfie55
	Courage to Change September 6 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about the slogan "How important is it?" The author reflects on the amount of time they spend focusing their mental activity on whatever problem is in front of them. They even catch themselves thinking "Now I am concentrating on what is really important!" But,...	Skorpi	2	720	Sep 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	When I sign on... (Preview) it's not always to post. Sometimes it's just to let you know we're here together. Seem silly? Just wanted to share that. ((hugs))) TT	tiredtonite	7	574	Sep 6, 2017 by Skorpi
	More to learn? (Preview) I'm reliving 20 years of dysfunction through my son, his gf and her child. Its horrible to watch. Shes me, addicted to the drama, cant see clearly, thinks she can help fix it, thinks it will get better, thinks its all she deserves. Hes my ex, full of anger, bitterness, fear, and the worst bit the wee girl,...	el-cee	8	576	Sep 5, 2017 by _bunny_
	Hope for Today Sept 5 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Today's reading is about the discovery that we can choose to enjoy this day (the present). The writer reflects that he/she realized he/she was often stuck in the past-- over time it became clear that this was due to having lived with alcoholism. As a child that meant many 'pre...	yanksfan51	6	700	Sep 5, 2017 by bud
	Had a good laugh (Preview) After my anger vent about the abf being lazy, not moving, ect...I had posted my vent of anger about his laziness...well, he is now moving and doing dishes and singing, I work hard for my money...I burst out laughing...the insanity of it all..	joker	5	540	Sep 5, 2017 by Iamhere
	distractions used (Preview) Just had another Ah moment, reading posts here. I am not sure if I am on the right direction on this but your feed back would be good. The alcoholic uses any distractions: yelling, screaming, blaming, swearing, hitting, call downs, saying your crazy, degrading you, threatening to hurt you, smashing...	joker	7	647	Sep 5, 2017 by Bo
	May be a nudge from hp (Preview) It can be hard to assert boundaries when dealing with active alcoholics. My landlord is steeped in his disease, now begins drinking in the morning. I avoid calling him as much as possible. His son is now taking over the business. He is arrogant and manipulative. The upkeep here is poor, people who do th...	tiredtonite	3	2279	Sep 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Living thankfully with an AH (Preview) Okay, So things have taken a turn. I'm not sure yet as to the direction this all will go. My active A has pushed me to my breaking point. Not to the point and walk away, there is still much love I feel for my AH. There has been a lot of issues going on that has created a lot of stress both on myself and AH. I have b...	Curlyblu	8	591	Sep 4, 2017 by Curlyblu
	Emotions VS thinking (Preview) Since I have been in therapy, and reading Al-Anon material, I have had an ah moment and came to this conclusion. When I respond with my feelings to the alcoholic, I am responding/reacting from a child perspective. If my inner child is only 2 years old, I respond and react from a 2 year old perspective or i...	joker	2	554	Sep 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	seeing the circle (Preview) Its been awhile since I posted. I have been working on me. I am attneding meetings and seeing a therapist. I am seeing progress. I left the abf last weekend for the whole weekend and went to a hotel for the night as I had enough. It was bliss. I just could not tolerate the hell and the drunken abuse anymore. I...	joker	6	556	Sep 4, 2017 by Flyfree
	C2C 9/4 (Preview) SERENITY: The author suggests that if we can let go of obsession and worry about others, we may be amazed that our mind can becom calm. Because we were used to living in a constant state of crisis, we may feel uncomfortable and not know what to do or how to feel. As we quiet the mental chatter about other...	Lyne	2	538	Sep 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT Reading 9-3-2017 (Preview) The ODAT reading for September 3 is a very powerful meditation. It speaks about how much power,we in Al-Anon have so as to improve and shape,the texture of our lives. It points out that if we take the time to look to ourselves and ask the question, what am I doing that is creating difficulties for me o...	hotrod	6	731	Sep 4, 2017 by Aline
	Newbie - made a mistake (Preview) New here and struggling. I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a few years and he recently moved in. He has been sober and very active in AA for about 6 months, but before that he relapsed during the course of our relationship and I now regret sticking it out and forgiving. Even before the rela...	audrey64	11	1691	Sep 4, 2017 by Jerry F
	What a week and it's not over yet (Preview) Along with other antics which I've already posted about, my recovering abf dau is getting married this week. He's been sober a good amount of years now and his daughter has been around for holidays and he has always shown her love. She doesn't seem to want to let him have full participation in her weddin...	tiredtonite	13	764	Sep 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	ODAT 9/2 (Preview) Today's reading really struck me it's a constant lesson for me in terms of loving and accepting people where they are at .. I think I have a different spin, .. unconditional love is over rated .. unconditional acceptance .. that's where real freedom is in a relationship be it friendship or love, the re...	SerenityRUS	3	555	Sep 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	A Facebook reality.... (Preview) She is our grand-daughter in law and she is in Hilo for a visit and she is a beauty and the mother of 3 stunningly beautiful great-grand children and she is a daughter of an alcoholic and the wife of the son of an alcoholic/addict and she loves to drink and ....get drunk. My heart is whimpering again as i...	Jerry F	14	2885	Sep 3, 2017 by wp
	As we understood (Preview) I am not sure how many of the MIP family have this little reader which has been around for while. It is not a daily and can be read daily. The contributions within the book are from the world-wide fellowship which makes it a very supportive reader. It is part of my wife and my literature library at home...	Jerry F	5	562	Sep 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	with a sad heart (Preview) My heart is so heavy to say that on August 2, 2017 My mom flew with the angels. She was the first person to love me, to hold me in her arms, my first kiss, my first everything. She was my rock..she was the glue that kept our family together. We had many laughs, right up till the end. How many can say they had a sin...	unbroken13	16	746	Sep 3, 2017 by wp
	The Centre of the Universe (Preview) I had an ok holiday. ABF doesn't drink when he's with me, he's not even tempted. We didn't talk about anything but I feel it was ok to Ostrich for a bit. We talked when we got back. He wants to keep everything fun and light because if home is going to just be arguments he's just going to want to drink after a tou...	MizzB	14	699	Sep 2, 2017 by Lyne
	Can I have prayers please? (Preview) I don't think I've ever sincerely asked but I'm feeling the power of prayer more along my journey. This disease within my son has created a crisis and homelessness, my biggest fear , may be a possibility yet again for him. Please pray my son gets help and that those effected by his drinking get help and pr...	el-cee	21	3000	Sep 1, 2017 by MizzB
	Old Sponsor Trying to Engage (Preview) I told my sponsor that I no longer wanted them as a sponsor some months ago. Some weeks ago I shared in my meeting about letting go of a friend and the circumstances around that without naming the person. My sponsor was in attendance. I have not returned to that meeting and am not planning on it any time soo...	tiredtonite	11	3138	Sep 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 9/1/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the second tradition that reminds us that a loving God expresses himself through our group conscience. The writer discusses how their small group almost seemed 'stuck in a rut'. They took a group conscience meeting and decided to try some changes - used additional CAL...	Iamhere	2	566	Sep 1, 2017 by Iamhere
	Kid & I are out, w/"BIG" move this weekend (Preview) Well, after only 1 day back at the house, I made the move to live separately from my AH. I am not sure why I thought this could be smooth... probably b/c he was "supposed" to have been in treatment. Going back and sleeping at the old house just one night just seemed too weird, and I believe was sending AH the w...	PosiesandPuppies	14	958	Sep 1, 2017 by MizzB
	Bless him, change me (Preview) My lovely, but sometimes toxic AH is out drinking and sends me a text "you know, you always ruin my holiday weekends" Really? I always ruin your holidays!?" Pre Al-Anon me would have marched my arse down to the bar, right hooked him in the jaw and told him to put his phone away (true story, not proud), but t...	_bunny_	7	945	Sep 1, 2017 by tiredtonite
	Courage to Change (C2C) 8/31/17 (Preview) Today's reading discusses expectations and motives. Many of us have tried to change other people to suit our own desires. We knew what we needed, and when our wanted needs weren't met, we often blamed other people. We were looking outside ourselves for one who would be there but not impose. Our wa...	Iamhere	6	495	Aug 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Sitting with My Sadness (Preview) With a heavy heart, I share that one of my gal pals who attends our Saturday morning meeting opted out of the meeting this past Saturday, and instead ended her life. We are shocked and grieving as she was a lovely spirit and a gentle soul. I ask that any who feel compelled to pray for those suffering with...	Iamhere	32	7426	Aug 31, 2017 by wifeofalcoholic
	Struggling wtih not meddling .. (Preview) I am a meddler and for that reason alone I belong in Alanon .. lol .. seriously. I am a chronic compulsive meddler and it is not easy to battle instincts. My daughter and her mental health issues with anxiety have really brought out some things in me I thought I had been pretty good about setting aside .....	SerenityRUS	2	595	Aug 31, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change August 30 (Preview) In today's reading, the author shares their sponsor's suggestion to a low day - making a list of all things that made them unhappy - and the sponsor's suggestion to a good day - making a gratitude list. When the author compared both lists, they found that the lists were almost identical. The people, pla...	Skorpi	7	828	Aug 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Terms: qualifier, crosstalk, codependent (Preview) The WSO suggests Alanon does not use these three terms: qualifier, codependent, crosstalk. They are terms used in counseling, therapy. In Alanon the focus is on me and I belong because I have been affected by a friend or family who drinks. The A drinks and I am affected by/ obsessed to the A. I need help a...	Lee43stan	5	1594	Aug 31, 2017 by DavidG
	Detaching vs. detaching with love (Preview) I've stopped financially enabling my A and mostly have a good handle on detachment, now I'm wondering how "with love" comes into this. Might be I'm just letting his negative attitude get to me (what a shocker that would be!) and I'm actually doing ok with this part as well... I'm not sure. Recently our i...	Aline	9	3079	Aug 30, 2017 by Aline
	Loving step 4 (Preview) Ive realised that I cant ride on my early days step work forever, I've got to keep on with the step 4 inventory, the self searching seems to be so important for our recovery and for our continued quest towards emotional sobriety. Alcoholism seems to come into my life like an earthquake and shakes me to t...	el-cee	3	503	Aug 30, 2017 by Lyne
	No logic available (Preview) For about 26 years I have been devoted to my A. I have not been her priority, she had an emotional affair, lied, snuck around, and had other priorities , especially drinking. Towards the end of 2016 I bought a condo to live half time near my son and granddaughter . NOW she is devastated and feels fear an...	Lyne	11	1335	Aug 30, 2017 by Lyne
	Hope for Today aug 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone: Today's reading is about setting boundaries and detachment with love. The writer describes a relationship with his/her mother which is affected by alcoholism, even after the mother is no longer drinking. One phrase used to describe the relationship is 'I didn't know wher...	yanksfan51	6	2286	Aug 29, 2017 by DavidG
	New to group with questions about aging parents (Preview) So, I've been around alcoholics my whole life. Intend to be an enabler... I was married 21 years to an alcoholic who's had 3 DUIs... walked the road of those financially and legal consequences with him for 2 of those while married. The other one was while divorced and walked the road legally by refusing...	Ruthie050573	4	915	Aug 29, 2017 by hotrod
	Hate the disease (Preview) Good morning all. I have just been feeling so sad the last couple of days at the destruction the disease causes in the sufferer and in the relationships around the alcoholic. I know that's why we have al-anon but it doesn't take away the pain of a loved one drinking themselves to death or of the hurtful st...	Sorcha	5	645	Aug 29, 2017 by Sorcha
	I Now Have a Sponsor (Preview) I've been slowly easing into Al-Anon since around April. I'm happy to say that it has been quite helpful. Both the face-to-face meetings and this forum (thank you) have been very good for me. I've been keeping my eyes and ears open for someone who might be a potential sponsor. I wasn't in a hurry but hav...	WestMan	8	1250	Aug 29, 2017 by WestMan
	A week .. just a week .. (Preview) We are finally getting some answers to what has been going on with my girl. First off she's doing great .. it's really been a crazy ride, I have learned soooo much. I was finally able to get her into the pysch which I am never thrilled with only because it has been my experience in a small town based upon th...	SerenityRUS	4	2255	Aug 29, 2017 by andromeda
	Emotional infidelity (Preview) can someone tell me at what stage 'in the rooms' of AA do phone numbers get exchanged. Is it something that happens between members when they are having cosy one to one chats with each other. I can't for the life of me see where amongst the sharing and quoting of working the programme etc, it is suggested t...	Peetzie	9	1367	Aug 29, 2017 by Doingmybest
	what do u think ? (Preview) ive been living with my boyfriend happily for the past 5 mths but he has this werid situation that is tearing me up. i have tried to give the thing back to him,tried to ignore it,give it to higher power with no results basically a few years ago, he co signed on a friend of a friend's apartment lease. he knows...	YARNCRAZY	6	512	Aug 28, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	Perspective on reaching out! (Preview) My adult daughter has relapsed for the second time in 3 months. She went to a 30 day rehab and got back together during that time with her ex boyfriend who had dumped her. She was sober for a few weeks, and they were back together, until she went on a several day binge, and the boyfriend dumped her again. I th...	Buckeye Girl	6	962	Aug 28, 2017 by el-cee
	Need a little ESH (Preview) So I had to bolt from our shared home this past weekend. The reality of Kid and I moving out hit AH and things just got to emotional... not angry mind you, just emotional and I began to feel sorrow and guilt for what I KNOW in my heart to be the next right thing for me and Kid. I knew I was in danger of listening to...	PosiesandPuppies	7	2521	Aug 28, 2017 by Jerry F
	When you are struggling... (Preview) We face so many things as a result of this disease...but I face many things as a result of me. It could be my "stinking thinking" or my expectations, or me wanting to be right, wanting what I want, which is always something good, perhaps I just want the alcoholic to want to get better. Who knows. Often, som...	Bo	2	523	Aug 28, 2017 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.