Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...

MizzB · MizzB

Ive had a call from ABFâs mum. I onow he was heading for a crisis and this appears to be it. Shes had the police involved as he mentioned suicide, drew put a lot of money and then disappeared. We know where he is now. Now, i know enough to let the police and the doctors do their job. He is seeing the consequen...

hotrod · hotrod

IP Funding Meeting--Sunday, 6:PM--All Members InvitedPermalink Reply Quote More We are holding our second meeting on this subject tomorrow, Sunday at 6:00 PM in the Alanon Chat room. The meeting should take about 30 minutes. We have to decide how we will fund Miracles In Progress website and f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This mornings reading brought a smile to my heart and face because of the reminders of what it was like when I first really got into the program and HP removed all my distractions from finding the first step in the journey. It is so nicely and well written on this page and I remember what it first taught...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

My friend Sandy doesn't drink anymore. He died. They say he had a heart attack and that may very well be the cause of death. He was a big guy and I once heard him say he had high blood pressure so maybe he did have a heart attack. I remember when my sister died of a drug overdose 30 years ago they said cause of dea...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about connections between meetings. The author shares that making Al-Anon telephone calls can seem scary at first, but that these calls can act as a lifeline between meetings. Reviewing Al-Anon "basics" is as beneficial to the longtime member a...

Hamarr · Hamarr

Hi, I have been attending meetings for about 8 months now: I want to work the steps, but have not been able to find a sponsor. I keep asking around and keep getting shot down. I just attended a new meeting for the first time last night; asked someone and he said the same thing they always do Keep going to...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for April 24 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. The reading suggests that this bright new world can be developed by picking up the Al-Anon tools such as a sponsor,. meetings, the steps and letting go of our old negative tools such as fear, bi...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Son is in rehab, 3-6 month program. He can't call us, we have a restraining order, but he did call another family member. Family member let me know that he is safe, likes it there (!), and (finally) agrees that home is not the best place for him. I toyed with the idea of going down to the courthouse and lift...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha John. Part of my popping in this morning was to get a look at your picture and feel the strong gratitude I have been led to feel since coming here and being a part of what you started and directed long ago. Mahalo Nui loa...Thanks so much. The family you gathered and continue to build on remains a...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I know I am still far away from this decision, although at times my emotions tell me to leave, kick him out for my sake and the kids. But he is the financial guy in the family. The idea of starting over is scary, so am I one of those that just stays in it? So I need to know from those of you who did decide to leave...

ginnyc · ginnyc

I am 61 years old. I have been exposed to recovery programs, well educated, pretty successful career, etc. Why is it that I sit here on the verge of tears thinking about of the brutality and violence of my childhood? My immediate family relations have never been authentic. How could they be with such de...

MizzB · MizzB

Hi, I'm going to do a little self indulgent post here and reflect on the progress I have made in AlAnon. I came here broken, scared, constantly anxious. Fed up, resentful, angry. I still feel those things at times but the time I spend being ok is bigger than the time I spend in difficulties which is progr...

Lyne · Lyne

Unable to feel: The writer talked about her inability to feel, about anything , and likened it to being dead. She said living with alcoholism caused her to deny every hint of anger, joy, or sorrow. As she began to recover, she began to feel, and found it very confusing at first. She even thought she w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So big laugh from me about my oldest .. I am honestly so proud of him at this point and that kid is so much braver than I am it's not even funny ... ironically the child doesn't know it and I get that too. I have mentioned what it means to be a bumble bee .. you do because you just don't have any other frame of refe...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...

ling · ling

Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!

Donehurting · Donehurting

19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...

CarrieS · CarrieS

Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...

Witchfinder · Witchfinder

Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP....Today's reading talks about alcoholism being a disease. We can see that an alcoholic is ill, and not bad. When we attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature, sit in open AA meetings, we gain insight into what is and what is not reasonable to expect when dealing with an a...

MizzB · MizzB

ABF has been sober for around 36 hours so he's coherent enough to talk to. I have given him the deadline. He has until the summer holidays to improve of I'm calling time on the relationship. His mum knows I've given him this deadline. I am conflicted. Is this me still trying to control his drinking? Or is...

mighty moe · mighty moe

Hello. New here. AH admitted of affair 2 days ago. Iâve been a wreck. Emotions all over the place. Have spoken on phone with Alanon went to meeting yesterday and am going next 2 days. Been trying to focus on myself but just a few days ago he was my focus too. 18 years ago I went to Al-Anon to learn how to deal wi...

Karebear · Karebear

Hello everyone, I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family. So glad I can come and share here. I'm not feeling well today as I have caught some kind of a virus or similar, and I've been working from home today. I'm having a hard time not being critical about myself this evening, and I suppose I'll go get some rest after posting. Being sick is very unhe...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about how we can get our needs fulfilled. The author shares that they had spent a lot of time yearning for things (courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication, etc.) that they were not getting from the alcoholic in their life. Their sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I remember coming into the rooms and being so angry .. and that didn't start with my XAH .. I was a special kind of twisted in that regard .. however it certainly didn't help .. I had started to move past my early childhood anger only to revisit and revive it through our relationship. It festered and bloo...

Dutchy · Dutchy

Some people will know that last weekend I've set a boundary with my recovering alcoholic husband where I didn't want him to come over just to visit or 'be here' and see the girls. I wanted him to rebuild relationships with us and make it worthwhile. It's to difficult that he just comes over for a few hours...

DavidG · DavidG

I learned some basics of life in Alanon. My parents and grandparents were fine people- but there was a deep seated flaw on the family. They did their best. At one stage in the 1970's I lost two uncles to suicide. The impact on their immediate family was obvious. In the same decade i became a mamber of the...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I read this board daily to keep myself on track - everyone on here is just amazing and your strength helps me so much. I find being reminded of the patterns of manipulation with this disease keep me centred and less easily blown off track. I have been separate...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 17 speaks about the negative voices that are ongoing within. These voices are destructive forces so that as soon as we hear them , the reading suggests that we call on a slogan or the serenity prayer at any time and replace these negative suggestions with positive energy....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This program is for a lifetime. Once you become a member you are always a member. Even when you slip, you can come back. Even when someone is not attending meetings(speaking for myself) It never goes away. You will remember something that you heard at a meeting like the slogans or the serenity prayer th...

Carson09 · Carson09

Hi there. I am new to this, but not new to the heartache that alcoholism causes. Firstly, I am a recovering alcoholic. I havent drank in just under 2 years. My common law spouse is an alcoholi...a very active drinker. He did not quit during my road to recover. In fact he drank to the point that he has been...

Lyne · Lyne

Attitude / Self-Love: The writer learned in Alanon that her attitude about experiences were more important than what happened. She had choices. She tried to arrive at happiness from others, but it left her feeling deprived and unloveable. Through working the Steps, she learned that she was lo...

Dutchy · Dutchy

Hi all, Â I've been reading alot of posts and recently started going to Al Anon and have 1-1 therapy for the last 4months too.Â My husband was an emotional abusive alcoholic and the past 4 yearsthings really got a lot worse as we had to do a complete house renovation which we weren't prepared for...

andromeda · andromeda

My bf and his ex wife are in the middle of quite an argument right now. She rents a home from him and has been there for about 3.5 years now. He gives her a break on the rent (about $500 a month). He does not pay child support.....long story, but let's just say he knew how to work the court system in his favor...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello everyone- Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without cea...

el-cee · el-cee

I hate it so much. I want it out my life. I want peace from the ugliness of alcoholism. I'm so worried about my son's drinking. Its getting worse. He can be and is verbally abusive to his gf. He's angry when sober and takes it out on her and her daughter. On the other side of that it's clear to see he loves them b...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi allTanin posted a message to the Business section regarding a business meeting. In case you missed it I have copied it below-- See you there To All MIP Members:We need to have a business meeting to discuss and decide issues of funding of the MIP forums and chat room hosting We have a couple of de...

Lil99 · Lil99

I felt like I was making some good progress with the programme. Things were starting to feel much better than they have for a long time. But this last couple of weeks I've been feeling more low. ABF is back up to his old tricks again. I'm tired out and not handling it well. A friend is visiting tomorrow...

Aline · Aline

Trying something new for me - writing about real-time events. I'm afraid normally. I'm afraid of people judging me negatively, also kind of afraid of people thinking of me positively, because I don't like my arrogance that raises its head royally above everyone else now and again. I'm having commun...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

since we asked our son to leave and got the restraining order. I fluctuate from feeling AWESOMELY FREE and SAFE from his violence to HORRIBLY GUILTY and FEARFUL of a possible revenge attack. Last night I found I was *very* triggered by driving alone in the dark. I had to pick up my daughter at school afte...

hotrod · hotrod

I am posting the daily for Looiking Up, who is under tornado watch. Prayers that she stays safe. The C2C reading for April 14 discusses our negative thinking and suggests ways of addressing it. The reading points out that awareness of the negative thoughts is the first step towards change. It sugg...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I have been busying myself with an organizational project. This requires me to go through mountains of old paperwork and pictures. As I sort through these pictures I find myself looking at the ones of our AS with thoughts of "this was BEFORE he got sick" or "Look at his eyes. All lies." I feel so ANGRY tow...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP! Today's reading talks about considering change(s) to how we respond to situations today. Kindness is suggested as a goal instead of defensiveness or disrespect. It goes on the discuss relationships and how complicated they are simply because people are complicated. We all h...

Rose L · Rose L

I am new here. I have been to a few AlAnon meetings in person and people were supportive, at the moment I'm in the middle of some counselling and can't attend a meeting in person but may go back afterwards. So I thought I'd join online. I am separated from my husband who is a recovering alcoholic who atten...

Iamhere · Iamhere

"Grant me patience, Lord -- and hurry!" This is a quote from today's reading, which discusses that most of us want a quick fix or an immediate solution to difficult situations. Some situations have been ongoing for years, yet we want a solution in one day or even shorter. When it's not resolved when...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

When I was at my last job in my little town there was a man my age who was hired around the same time as I was .. I already knew the guy had 3 red flags all alcohol related .. I saw some other behaviors while I was still there and knew that at some point it was going to not well, as in he had a temper when he was not sobe...

MizzB · MizzB

My friend just announced she's pregnant. I am at home, alone, again, as the ABF is again AWOL, hasn't been off the alcohol for more than a couple of days for 9 weeks. I've come a long way in how I react to his drinking. I now won't message him to ask where he is. I don't get mad when he comes in. I'm so jealou...

CharBronte · CharBronte

I just started attending alanon meetings less than a month ago, and it has already left an indelible impact on my day to day life. My husband noticed right away and was effusive with praise by how quickly I took to making real changes in the management of my emotions. I'm able to control my need to control...

CBell · CBell

Hi Everyone- I have been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 1 year. Lately, it has become apparent to me that I still have a hard time talking about Al-Anon with my husband. It took me several weeks of going initially before I told him that I was going and over the course of the past year, it has become a big...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Unfortunately its worse than ever. Back in the winter of 2016/2017 I lost internet access. I was able to get a new computer a few weeks ago. If anyone remembers, my qualifiers are my identical twins on the spectrum. It has been a hellish ride since my last post culminating with a very scary, unprovoked...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about why we continue to attend AlAnon meetings and engage with the program through the years. The author shares that without help, living or having lived with an alcoholic is too much for them. They recognize a need for help in maintaining a ration...

Bamagrl · Bamagrl

My 18yr old son is an addict. He got clean for 8 months and a month ago relapsed. I attended my fist meeting last week and will be going back. I just feel like everything i do is wrong. I have not allowed him to stay at my house while he is using. So hard to do, but im at a loss. I saw him today and he does not even loo...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am letting this go because this is my XAH and this is exactly who he is .. lol .. and I have to take ownership in the fact I have scared him so bad I'm sure whatever cahona's he was growing back left him yet again. I believe that is set 3 that have now been added to the vault. So after the wife texting my kid who...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The weather was favorable so I got on my swing! Yipee! Really Good thing. Serenity & peaceful!

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Courage to Change 4/26/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...	Iamhere	4	422	Apr 26, 2018 by Aline
	Longest 45 minutes of my life (Preview) Ive had a call from ABFâs mum. I onow he was heading for a crisis and this appears to be it. Shes had the police involved as he mentioned suicide, drew put a lot of money and then disappeared. We know where he is now. Now, i know enough to let the police and the doctors do their job. He is seeing the consequen...	MizzB	21	506	Apr 26, 2018 by Bo
	Business meeting Sunday at 6PM all invited (Preview) IP Funding Meeting--Sunday, 6:PM--All Members InvitedPermalink Reply Quote More We are holding our second meeting on this subject tomorrow, Sunday at 6:00 PM in the Alanon Chat room. The meeting should take about 30 minutes. We have to decide how we will fund Miracles In Progress website and f...	hotrod	14	1104	Apr 25, 2018 by hotrod
	4/25/2018 ODAT (Preview) This mornings reading brought a smile to my heart and face because of the reminders of what it was like when I first really got into the program and HP removed all my distractions from finding the first step in the journey. It is so nicely and well written on this page and I remember what it first taught...	Jerry F	2	439	Apr 25, 2018 by Iamhere
	Sandy doesn't drink anymore (Preview) My friend Sandy doesn't drink anymore. He died. They say he had a heart attack and that may very well be the cause of death. He was a big guy and I once heard him say he had high blood pressure so maybe he did have a heart attack. I remember when my sister died of a drug overdose 30 years ago they said cause of dea...	Wolfie55	9	498	Apr 25, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Courage to Change April 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about connections between meetings. The author shares that making Al-Anon telephone calls can seem scary at first, but that these calls can act as a lifeline between meetings. Reviewing Al-Anon "basics" is as beneficial to the longtime member a...	Skorpi	5	591	Apr 25, 2018 by Aline
	Do I really need a sponsor? (Preview) Hi, I have been attending meetings for about 8 months now: I want to work the steps, but have not been able to find a sponsor. I keep asking around and keep getting shot down. I just attended a new meeting for the first time last night; asked someone and he said the same thing they always do Keep going to...	Hamarr	9	534	Apr 24, 2018 by WestMan
	ODAT Reading 4-24-18 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 24 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. The reading suggests that this bright new world can be developed by picking up the Al-Anon tools such as a sponsor,. meetings, the steps and letting go of our old negative tools such as fear, bi...	hotrod	4	449	Apr 24, 2018 by Iamhere
	A little hope, perhaps? (Preview) Son is in rehab, 3-6 month program. He can't call us, we have a restraining order, but he did call another family member. Family member let me know that he is safe, likes it there (!), and (finally) agrees that home is not the best place for him. I toyed with the idea of going down to the courthouse and lift...	themoonandthestars	3	331	Apr 24, 2018 by Lyne
	A Message to John (Preview) Aloha John. Part of my popping in this morning was to get a look at your picture and feel the strong gratitude I have been led to feel since coming here and being a part of what you started and directed long ago. Mahalo Nui loa...Thanks so much. The family you gathered and continue to build on remains a...	Jerry F	4	461	Apr 24, 2018 by serenity47
	How to now when you've had enough and what to do? (Preview) I know I am still far away from this decision, although at times my emotions tell me to leave, kick him out for my sake and the kids. But he is the financial guy in the family. The idea of starting over is scary, so am I one of those that just stays in it? So I need to know from those of you who did decide to leave...	Dancer66	7	1427	Apr 23, 2018 by Jerry F
	Why? (Preview) I am 61 years old. I have been exposed to recovery programs, well educated, pretty successful career, etc. Why is it that I sit here on the verge of tears thinking about of the brutality and violence of my childhood? My immediate family relations have never been authentic. How could they be with such de...	ginnyc	9	437	Apr 23, 2018 by Jerry F
	my personal progress (Preview) Hi, I'm going to do a little self indulgent post here and reflect on the progress I have made in AlAnon. I came here broken, scared, constantly anxious. Fed up, resentful, angry. I still feel those things at times but the time I spend being ok is bigger than the time I spend in difficulties which is progr...	MizzB	18	534	Apr 23, 2018 by Dutchy
	C2C, 4/23 (Preview) Unable to feel: The writer talked about her inability to feel, about anything , and likened it to being dead. She said living with alcoholism caused her to deny every hint of anger, joy, or sorrow. As she began to recover, she began to feel, and found it very confusing at first. She even thought she w...	Lyne	7	452	Apr 23, 2018 by Aline
	Why it's good to be a bumble bee .. (Preview) So big laugh from me about my oldest .. I am honestly so proud of him at this point and that kid is so much braver than I am it's not even funny ... ironically the child doesn't know it and I get that too. I have mentioned what it means to be a bumble bee .. you do because you just don't have any other frame of refe...	SerenityRUS	7	486	Apr 23, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Resentments out the wazoo! (Preview) So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...	andromeda	12	675	Apr 22, 2018 by Bo
	Apr 22 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...	yanksfan51	3	420	Apr 22, 2018 by Dutchy
	sponsor (Preview) Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...	ling	5	405	Apr 21, 2018 by Jerry F
	I wasn't going to... (Preview) Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!	Hoot Nanny	3	366	Apr 21, 2018 by DavidG
	AA Daily Reflections? WTF (Preview) 19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...	Donehurting	15	1467	Apr 21, 2018 by Jerry F
	Odat 4/21/18 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...	lookingup	5	366	Apr 21, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hides Liquor and Lies about it (Preview) Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...	CarrieS	15	585	Apr 21, 2018 by Lyne
	Playing Cat and Mouse (Preview) Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...	Witchfinder	14	623	Apr 20, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 4/20/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...	Iamhere	2	559	Apr 20, 2018 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 4/19/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP....Today's reading talks about alcoholism being a disease. We can see that an alcoholic is ill, and not bad. When we attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature, sit in open AA meetings, we gain insight into what is and what is not reasonable to expect when dealing with an a...	Iamhere	5	436	Apr 19, 2018 by Stan1
	Deadline (Preview) ABF has been sober for around 36 hours so he's coherent enough to talk to. I have given him the deadline. He has until the summer holidays to improve of I'm calling time on the relationship. His mum knows I've given him this deadline. I am conflicted. Is this me still trying to control his drinking? Or is...	MizzB	8	665	Apr 19, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	How to deal with emotions from AH affair (Preview) Hello. New here. AH admitted of affair 2 days ago. Iâve been a wreck. Emotions all over the place. Have spoken on phone with Alanon went to meeting yesterday and am going next 2 days. Been trying to focus on myself but just a few days ago he was my focus too. 18 years ago I went to Al-Anon to learn how to deal wi...	mighty moe	10	549	Apr 19, 2018 by Iamhere
	Fear (Preview) Hello everyone, I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just...	Karebear	10	536	Apr 18, 2018 by andromeda
	Evening not that good (Preview) Hi, MIP family. So glad I can come and share here. I'm not feeling well today as I have caught some kind of a virus or similar, and I've been working from home today. I'm having a hard time not being critical about myself this evening, and I suppose I'll go get some rest after posting. Being sick is very unhe...	Aline	14	520	Apr 18, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change April 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about how we can get our needs fulfilled. The author shares that they had spent a lot of time yearning for things (courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication, etc.) that they were not getting from the alcoholic in their life. Their sp...	Skorpi	4	641	Apr 18, 2018 by DavidG
	Anger (Preview) I remember coming into the rooms and being so angry .. and that didn't start with my XAH .. I was a special kind of twisted in that regard .. however it certainly didn't help .. I had started to move past my early childhood anger only to revisit and revive it through our relationship. It festered and bloo...	SerenityRUS	11	598	Apr 18, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Crumbling boundary or just stupid? (Preview) Some people will know that last weekend I've set a boundary with my recovering alcoholic husband where I didn't want him to come over just to visit or 'be here' and see the girls. I wanted him to rebuild relationships with us and make it worthwhile. It's to difficult that he just comes over for a few hours...	Dutchy	15	604	Apr 18, 2018 by Dutchy
	Living one day at a time... (Preview) I learned some basics of life in Alanon. My parents and grandparents were fine people- but there was a deep seated flaw on the family. They did their best. At one stage in the 1970's I lost two uncles to suicide. The impact on their immediate family was obvious. In the same decade i became a mamber of the...	DavidG	4	457	Apr 18, 2018 by Dutchy
	Hard day today (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I read this board daily to keep myself on track - everyone on here is just amazing and your strength helps me so much. I find being reminded of the patterns of manipulation with this disease keep me centred and less easily blown off track. I have been separate...	VickiR	7	579	Apr 17, 2018 by el-cee
	ODAT Reading 4-17-2018 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 17 speaks about the negative voices that are ongoing within. These voices are destructive forces so that as soon as we hear them , the reading suggests that we call on a slogan or the serenity prayer at any time and replace these negative suggestions with positive energy....	hotrod	6	472	Apr 17, 2018 by Aline
	the program lasts a lifetime! (Preview) This program is for a lifetime. Once you become a member you are always a member. Even when you slip, you can come back. Even when someone is not attending meetings(speaking for myself) It never goes away. You will remember something that you heard at a meeting like the slogans or the serenity prayer th...	Hoot Nanny	2	424	Apr 17, 2018 by hotrod
	How to ask him to leave (Preview) Hi there. I am new to this, but not new to the heartache that alcoholism causes. Firstly, I am a recovering alcoholic. I havent drank in just under 2 years. My common law spouse is an alcoholi...a very active drinker. He did not quit during my road to recover. In fact he drank to the point that he has been...	Carson09	5	617	Apr 16, 2018 by Mattie
	C2C, 4/16 (Preview) Attitude / Self-Love: The writer learned in Alanon that her attitude about experiences were more important than what happened. She had choices. She tried to arrive at happiness from others, but it left her feeling deprived and unloveable. Through working the Steps, she learned that she was lo...	Lyne	7	555	Apr 16, 2018 by Aline
	Has it all been for nothing? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi all, Â I've been reading alot of posts and recently started going to Al Anon and have 1-1 therapy for the last 4months too.Â My husband was an emotional abusive alcoholic and the past 4 yearsthings really got a lot worse as we had to do a complete house renovation which we weren't prepared for...	Dutchy	49	1145	Apr 16, 2018 by Dutchy
	Being Neutral/Switzerland? (Preview) My bf and his ex wife are in the middle of quite an argument right now. She rents a home from him and has been there for about 3.5 years now. He gives her a break on the rent (about $500 a month). He does not pay child support.....long story, but let's just say he knew how to work the court system in his favor...	andromeda	17	1207	Apr 16, 2018 by Dutchy
	Hope for Today apr 15 (Preview) Hello everyone- Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without cea...	yanksfan51	3	518	Apr 15, 2018 by Jerry F
	This twisted disease (Preview) I hate it so much. I want it out my life. I want peace from the ugliness of alcoholism. I'm so worried about my son's drinking. Its getting worse. He can be and is verbally abusive to his gf. He's angry when sober and takes it out on her and her daughter. On the other side of that it's clear to see he loves them b...	el-cee	9	529	Apr 15, 2018 by Iamhere
	Business meeting alanon chat room on Sat, 4-14 8 PM and follow up on meeting (Preview) Hi allTanin posted a message to the Business section regarding a business meeting. In case you missed it I have copied it below-- See you there To All MIP Members:We need to have a business meeting to discuss and decide issues of funding of the MIP forums and chat room hosting We have a couple of de...	hotrod	1	1056	Apr 14, 2018 by hotrod
	Feeling a bit low (Preview) I felt like I was making some good progress with the programme. Things were starting to feel much better than they have for a long time. But this last couple of weeks I've been feeling more low. ABF is back up to his old tricks again. I'm tired out and not handling it well. A friend is visiting tomorrow...	Lil99	12	570	Apr 14, 2018 by LinSC
	Sharing about real-time events (Preview) Trying something new for me - writing about real-time events. I'm afraid normally. I'm afraid of people judging me negatively, also kind of afraid of people thinking of me positively, because I don't like my arrogance that raises its head royally above everyone else now and again. I'm having commun...	Aline	12	670	Apr 14, 2018 by Aline
	It's been 4 days (Preview) since we asked our son to leave and got the restraining order. I fluctuate from feeling AWESOMELY FREE and SAFE from his violence to HORRIBLY GUILTY and FEARFUL of a possible revenge attack. Last night I found I was very triggered by driving alone in the dark. I had to pick up my daughter at school afte...	themoonandthestars	3	460	Apr 14, 2018 by serenity47
	C2C Reading 4-14-2018 (Preview) I am posting the daily for Looiking Up, who is under tornado watch. Prayers that she stays safe. The C2C reading for April 14 discusses our negative thinking and suggests ways of addressing it. The reading points out that awareness of the negative thoughts is the first step towards change. It sugg...	hotrod	2	449	Apr 14, 2018 by Stan1
	One more weird observation about my gut reactions.... (Preview) I have been busying myself with an organizational project. This requires me to go through mountains of old paperwork and pictures. As I sort through these pictures I find myself looking at the ones of our AS with thoughts of "this was BEFORE he got sick" or "Look at his eyes. All lies." I feel so ANGRY tow...	themoonandthestars	2	480	Apr 14, 2018 by Dutchy
	Courage to Change 4/13/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading talks about considering change(s) to how we respond to situations today. Kindness is suggested as a goal instead of defensiveness or disrespect. It goes on the discuss relationships and how complicated they are simply because people are complicated. We all h...	Iamhere	10	577	Apr 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	In Sickness and in Health (Preview) I am new here. I have been to a few AlAnon meetings in person and people were supportive, at the moment I'm in the middle of some counselling and can't attend a meeting in person but may go back afterwards. So I thought I'd join online. I am separated from my husband who is a recovering alcoholic who atten...	Rose L	13	645	Apr 13, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 4/12/18 (Preview) "Grant me patience, Lord -- and hurry!" This is a quote from today's reading, which discusses that most of us want a quick fix or an immediate solution to difficult situations. Some situations have been ongoing for years, yet we want a solution in one day or even shorter. When it's not resolved when...	Iamhere	6	472	Apr 12, 2018 by Dutchy
	Sad Story .. (Preview) When I was at my last job in my little town there was a man my age who was hired around the same time as I was .. I already knew the guy had 3 red flags all alcohol related .. I saw some other behaviors while I was still there and knew that at some point it was going to not well, as in he had a temper when he was not sobe...	SerenityRUS	5	652	Apr 12, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Craving a normal life (Preview) My friend just announced she's pregnant. I am at home, alone, again, as the ABF is again AWOL, hasn't been off the alcohol for more than a couple of days for 9 weeks. I've come a long way in how I react to his drinking. I now won't message him to ask where he is. I don't get mad when he comes in. I'm so jealou...	MizzB	10	607	Apr 12, 2018 by Bo
	Thankful for this opportunity Adult-Child New Member (Preview) I just started attending alanon meetings less than a month ago, and it has already left an indelible impact on my day to day life. My husband noticed right away and was effusive with praise by how quickly I took to making real changes in the management of my emotions. I'm able to control my need to control...	CharBronte	6	959	Apr 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	Explaining Al-Anon (Preview) Hi Everyone- I have been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 1 year. Lately, it has become apparent to me that I still have a hard time talking about Al-Anon with my husband. It took me several weeks of going initially before I told him that I was going and over the course of the past year, it has become a big...	CBell	8	617	Apr 11, 2018 by CBell
	18 months has gone by since my last post and (Preview) Unfortunately its worse than ever. Back in the winter of 2016/2017 I lost internet access. I was able to get a new computer a few weeks ago. If anyone remembers, my qualifiers are my identical twins on the spectrum. It has been a hellish ride since my last post culminating with a very scary, unprovoked...	themoonandthestars	9	574	Apr 11, 2018 by el-cee
	Courage to Change April 11 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about why we continue to attend AlAnon meetings and engage with the program through the years. The author shares that without help, living or having lived with an alcoholic is too much for them. They recognize a need for help in maintaining a ration...	Skorpi	2	640	Apr 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	New and lost (Preview) My 18yr old son is an addict. He got clean for 8 months and a month ago relapsed. I attended my fist meeting last week and will be going back. I just feel like everything i do is wrong. I have not allowed him to stay at my house while he is using. So hard to do, but im at a loss. I saw him today and he does not even loo...	Bamagrl	6	533	Apr 11, 2018 by Lyne
	More information of course .. (Preview) I am letting this go because this is my XAH and this is exactly who he is .. lol .. and I have to take ownership in the fact I have scared him so bad I'm sure whatever cahona's he was growing back left him yet again. I believe that is set 3 that have now been added to the vault. So after the wife texting my kid who...	SerenityRUS	2	507	Apr 10, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	swing! (Preview) The weather was favorable so I got on my swing! Yipee! Really Good thing. Serenity & peaceful!	Hoot Nanny	5	414	Apr 10, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.