Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Dutchy · Dutchy

For the first time in 4 weeks I took the girls to see my recovering husband at his mums where he is still staying. As soon as I got out of the car I saw something was wrong. He had either been drinking or he'd had a few seizures/absences. My mother confirmed that he was sober, hadn't been drinking but that he'...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for May first speaks about the Al-Anon and AA program being founded on a spiritual basis. The reading points out that both programs acknowledge our dependence on a power greater than ourselves and the thousands of Al-Anon and AA groups around the world have members of many faiths an...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

Ugh. It seems like no matter how many Alanon meetings I go to or what I read I don't know the answer. And this question is something my problem drinker husband questions when the issue comes up. Why does his drinking bother me now? And I know that others say it doesn't matter if it bothers me it bothers...

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step five has been posted to the step work board please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwo...

Lyne · Lyne

Stubborness: The writer discussed letting his faucet drip and over time it did extensive damage. It forced him to get help. With Alanon he learned he can handle things differently. Sharing in meetings and putting experience into words, has allowed him to no longer push problems aside. He can n...

Dalbert · Dalbert

Yes, another thread, : ) So, my A gets bad sinus infections about every 6 weeks. Do I need to tell an ICU nurse that alcohol is hurting her immune system? No, I don't think so. So anyway, she was sick on Thursday. I asked her if she needed some NyQuil. We didn't have any so I offered to go get some for her. On the...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Part of my weekly routine includes watching Joel on Sunday mornings. It often speaks to me and this morning was pulling me in big time. While the title is kind of strange, this episode lines up really well with our recovery I believe.... A brief summary from the video: It's easy to judge others, but un...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about making amends. I can relate to the writers description of feeling that he/she were owed amends. The idea that we, who have lived life navigating the behavior of our As, should be the ones to make amends seemed backward somehow. In my great days of mart...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I am SO thankful for this site and for all of you and your support. This disease is so horrible and takes such a toll on relationships and families. I could really use hearing some shares of survival or success. Living with a AH who is in denial is so hard. How do you manage when the other person is so con...

lookingup · lookingup

The C 2C reading for April 28 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. of understanding and supportive people. The reading suggests that we can join this group by uncovering the "Courage" to be honest about our inner thoughts and inner feelings. We are oft...

Dutchy · Dutchy

I felt so strong in the last weeks and as I read my thoughts about communication in couples counselling I just found myself crumbling. We ended last week on the fact that my and recovering husband don't communicate. It's quite clear that a lack of communication lies with my husband. I've always been a b...

Karebear · Karebear

Hello everyone, I am going absolutely crazy today. I have been in a funk and crying all day. I feel like my ABF is upset with me because of this. He drank last night and although I think I handled last night well, I did not handle this morning or today well at all. I have that overwhelming fear again... that...

Dalbert · Dalbert

So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting. The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I c...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

So Tuesday I had a meeting with the company that is handling my divorce. They helped me fill out their Final Work book for divorce. It was mostly about who gets what... we have very little, so it was super easy. Kid is almost 18, by the time the divorce is final, he probably will be 18! So that ended up being e...

WestMan · WestMan

I started the new job yesterday. I would like to say thanks to all of you here who gave me encouragement. Now, looking back, I can't believe how smoothly everything has played out. Also, looking back at my Al-Anon experience I do feel like something has changed in me. Nothing big. But, something in my ou...

madowl86 · madowl86

Hey everyone. Itâs been a while since Iâve posted. Thatâs because things have been going moderately well. I just bought a house and my ABF and I moved back in together. This was a huge step because we hadnât lived together in almost 2 years. I had left because of his drinking. Our summer went well and he ha...

SaddenedSon · SaddenedSon

Hello, I am in a situation and I am not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. My father has been an alcoholic most of my life, often times cheerful drinking with stories from the past, often repeated many times over. But he is also very Bipolar when intoxicated and can flip from happy and rem...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading discusses self esteem and how it grows when we love and accept ourselves as we are. We block our own well-being each time we base our worth on what we do or what others think of me. Even IF we had some magical power that fixed all people, places and things in the world, we might still not fe...

texas yankee · texas yankee

And I didn't let my "fixer" mentality instantly take over and do something stupid. Over the years (for WAY too many years) I was really good at fixing my now 33 year old son's problems, many of them before he even realized that something was a problem - that's my picture next to "enabler" in the dictiona...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...

MizzB · MizzB

Ive had a call from ABFâs mum. I onow he was heading for a crisis and this appears to be it. Shes had the police involved as he mentioned suicide, drew put a lot of money and then disappeared. We know where he is now. Now, i know enough to let the police and the doctors do their job. He is seeing the consequen...

hotrod · hotrod

IP Funding Meeting--Sunday, 6:PM--All Members InvitedPermalink Reply Quote More We are holding our second meeting on this subject tomorrow, Sunday at 6:00 PM in the Alanon Chat room. The meeting should take about 30 minutes. We have to decide how we will fund Miracles In Progress website and f...

Jerry F · Jerry F

This mornings reading brought a smile to my heart and face because of the reminders of what it was like when I first really got into the program and HP removed all my distractions from finding the first step in the journey. It is so nicely and well written on this page and I remember what it first taught...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

My friend Sandy doesn't drink anymore. He died. They say he had a heart attack and that may very well be the cause of death. He was a big guy and I once heard him say he had high blood pressure so maybe he did have a heart attack. I remember when my sister died of a drug overdose 30 years ago they said cause of dea...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about connections between meetings. The author shares that making Al-Anon telephone calls can seem scary at first, but that these calls can act as a lifeline between meetings. Reviewing Al-Anon "basics" is as beneficial to the longtime member a...

Hamarr · Hamarr

Hi, I have been attending meetings for about 8 months now: I want to work the steps, but have not been able to find a sponsor. I keep asking around and keep getting shot down. I just attended a new meeting for the first time last night; asked someone and he said the same thing they always do Keep going to...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for April 24 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. The reading suggests that this bright new world can be developed by picking up the Al-Anon tools such as a sponsor,. meetings, the steps and letting go of our old negative tools such as fear, bi...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Son is in rehab, 3-6 month program. He can't call us, we have a restraining order, but he did call another family member. Family member let me know that he is safe, likes it there (!), and (finally) agrees that home is not the best place for him. I toyed with the idea of going down to the courthouse and lift...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha John. Part of my popping in this morning was to get a look at your picture and feel the strong gratitude I have been led to feel since coming here and being a part of what you started and directed long ago. Mahalo Nui loa...Thanks so much. The family you gathered and continue to build on remains a...

Dancer66 · Dancer66

I know I am still far away from this decision, although at times my emotions tell me to leave, kick him out for my sake and the kids. But he is the financial guy in the family. The idea of starting over is scary, so am I one of those that just stays in it? So I need to know from those of you who did decide to leave...

ginnyc · ginnyc

I am 61 years old. I have been exposed to recovery programs, well educated, pretty successful career, etc. Why is it that I sit here on the verge of tears thinking about of the brutality and violence of my childhood? My immediate family relations have never been authentic. How could they be with such de...

MizzB · MizzB

Hi, I'm going to do a little self indulgent post here and reflect on the progress I have made in AlAnon. I came here broken, scared, constantly anxious. Fed up, resentful, angry. I still feel those things at times but the time I spend being ok is bigger than the time I spend in difficulties which is progr...

Lyne · Lyne

Unable to feel: The writer talked about her inability to feel, about anything , and likened it to being dead. She said living with alcoholism caused her to deny every hint of anger, joy, or sorrow. As she began to recover, she began to feel, and found it very confusing at first. She even thought she w...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

So big laugh from me about my oldest .. I am honestly so proud of him at this point and that kid is so much braver than I am it's not even funny ... ironically the child doesn't know it and I get that too. I have mentioned what it means to be a bumble bee .. you do because you just don't have any other frame of refe...

andromeda · andromeda

So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...

ling · ling

Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!

Donehurting · Donehurting

19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...

CarrieS · CarrieS

Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...

Witchfinder · Witchfinder

Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP....Today's reading talks about alcoholism being a disease. We can see that an alcoholic is ill, and not bad. When we attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature, sit in open AA meetings, we gain insight into what is and what is not reasonable to expect when dealing with an a...

MizzB · MizzB

ABF has been sober for around 36 hours so he's coherent enough to talk to. I have given him the deadline. He has until the summer holidays to improve of I'm calling time on the relationship. His mum knows I've given him this deadline. I am conflicted. Is this me still trying to control his drinking? Or is...

mighty moe · mighty moe

Hello. New here. AH admitted of affair 2 days ago. Iâve been a wreck. Emotions all over the place. Have spoken on phone with Alanon went to meeting yesterday and am going next 2 days. Been trying to focus on myself but just a few days ago he was my focus too. 18 years ago I went to Al-Anon to learn how to deal wi...

Karebear · Karebear

Hello everyone, I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family. So glad I can come and share here. I'm not feeling well today as I have caught some kind of a virus or similar, and I've been working from home today. I'm having a hard time not being critical about myself this evening, and I suppose I'll go get some rest after posting. Being sick is very unhe...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about how we can get our needs fulfilled. The author shares that they had spent a lot of time yearning for things (courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication, etc.) that they were not getting from the alcoholic in their life. Their sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I remember coming into the rooms and being so angry .. and that didn't start with my XAH .. I was a special kind of twisted in that regard .. however it certainly didn't help .. I had started to move past my early childhood anger only to revisit and revive it through our relationship. It festered and bloo...

Dutchy · Dutchy

Some people will know that last weekend I've set a boundary with my recovering alcoholic husband where I didn't want him to come over just to visit or 'be here' and see the girls. I wanted him to rebuild relationships with us and make it worthwhile. It's to difficult that he just comes over for a few hours...

DavidG · DavidG

I learned some basics of life in Alanon. My parents and grandparents were fine people- but there was a deep seated flaw on the family. They did their best. At one stage in the 1970's I lost two uncles to suicide. The impact on their immediate family was obvious. In the same decade i became a mamber of the...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I read this board daily to keep myself on track - everyone on here is just amazing and your strength helps me so much. I find being reminded of the patterns of manipulation with this disease keep me centred and less easily blown off track. I have been separate...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 17 speaks about the negative voices that are ongoing within. These voices are destructive forces so that as soon as we hear them , the reading suggests that we call on a slogan or the serenity prayer at any time and replace these negative suggestions with positive energy....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This program is for a lifetime. Once you become a member you are always a member. Even when you slip, you can come back. Even when someone is not attending meetings(speaking for myself) It never goes away. You will remember something that you heard at a meeting like the slogans or the serenity prayer th...

Carson09 · Carson09

Hi there. I am new to this, but not new to the heartache that alcoholism causes. Firstly, I am a recovering alcoholic. I havent drank in just under 2 years. My common law spouse is an alcoholi...a very active drinker. He did not quit during my road to recover. In fact he drank to the point that he has been...

Lyne · Lyne

Attitude / Self-Love: The writer learned in Alanon that her attitude about experiences were more important than what happened. She had choices. She tried to arrive at happiness from others, but it left her feeling deprived and unloveable. Through working the Steps, she learned that she was lo...

Dutchy · Dutchy

Hi all, Â I've been reading alot of posts and recently started going to Al Anon and have 1-1 therapy for the last 4months too.Â My husband was an emotional abusive alcoholic and the past 4 yearsthings really got a lot worse as we had to do a complete house renovation which we weren't prepared for...

andromeda · andromeda

My bf and his ex wife are in the middle of quite an argument right now. She rents a home from him and has been there for about 3.5 years now. He gives her a break on the rent (about $500 a month). He does not pay child support.....long story, but let's just say he knew how to work the court system in his favor...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello everyone- Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without cea...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A strange afternoon (Preview) For the first time in 4 weeks I took the girls to see my recovering husband at his mums where he is still staying. As soon as I got out of the car I saw something was wrong. He had either been drinking or he'd had a few seizures/absences. My mother confirmed that he was sober, hadn't been drinking but that he'...	Dutchy	18	625	May 1, 2018 by Dutchy
	ODAT Reading 5-1-2018 (Preview) The ODAT reading for May first speaks about the Al-Anon and AA program being founded on a spiritual basis. The reading points out that both programs acknowledge our dependence on a power greater than ourselves and the thousands of Al-Anon and AA groups around the world have members of many faiths an...	hotrod	3	476	May 1, 2018 by Lyne
	So why is it a problem for me now? (Preview) Ugh. It seems like no matter how many Alanon meetings I go to or what I read I don't know the answer. And this question is something my problem drinker husband questions when the issue comes up. Why does his drinking bother me now? And I know that others say it doesn't matter if it bothers me it bothers...	Dancer66	7	513	Apr 30, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Step 5 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! Step five has been posted to the step work board please join in and share your thoughts. Here is the link http://stepwo...	hotrod	3	713	Apr 30, 2018 by Dutchy
	C2C, 4/30 (Preview) Stubborness: The writer discussed letting his faucet drip and over time it did extensive damage. It forced him to get help. With Alanon he learned he can handle things differently. Sharing in meetings and putting experience into words, has allowed him to no longer push problems aside. He can n...	Lyne	6	438	Apr 30, 2018 by Iamhere
	Detachment, enabling or compassion. (Preview) Yes, another thread, : ) So, my A gets bad sinus infections about every 6 weeks. Do I need to tell an ICU nurse that alcohol is hurting her immune system? No, I don't think so. So anyway, she was sick on Thursday. I asked her if she needed some NyQuil. We didn't have any so I offered to go get some for her. On the...	Dalbert	6	548	Apr 29, 2018 by Jerry F
	Off-Topic - Joel Osteen - Remove the Grave Clothes (Preview) Part of my weekly routine includes watching Joel on Sunday mornings. It often speaks to me and this morning was pulling me in big time. While the title is kind of strange, this episode lines up really well with our recovery I believe.... A brief summary from the video: It's easy to judge others, but un...	Iamhere	4	1974	Apr 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Apr 29 (Preview) Good morning Everyone- Todays reading is about making amends. I can relate to the writers description of feeling that he/she were owed amends. The idea that we, who have lived life navigating the behavior of our As, should be the ones to make amends seemed backward somehow. In my great days of mart...	yanksfan51	4	449	Apr 29, 2018 by DavidG
	I need to hear some success stories with AHs. I know its a struggle but I need hope and suggestions (Preview) I am SO thankful for this site and for all of you and your support. This disease is so horrible and takes such a toll on relationships and families. I could really use hearing some shares of survival or success. Living with a AH who is in denial is so hard. How do you manage when the other person is so con...	Dancer66	18	1067	Apr 29, 2018 by Bo
	CTC 4-28-18 (Preview) The C 2C reading for April 28 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. of understanding and supportive people. The reading suggests that we can join this group by uncovering the "Courage" to be honest about our inner thoughts and inner feelings. We are oft...	lookingup	10	545	Apr 29, 2018 by Iamhere
	We are not his priority (Preview) I felt so strong in the last weeks and as I read my thoughts about communication in couples counselling I just found myself crumbling. We ended last week on the fact that my and recovering husband don't communicate. It's quite clear that a lack of communication lies with my husband. I've always been a b...	Dutchy	32	713	Apr 29, 2018 by Dutchy
	Going crazy (Preview) Hello everyone, I am going absolutely crazy today. I have been in a funk and crying all day. I feel like my ABF is upset with me because of this. He drank last night and although I think I handled last night well, I did not handle this morning or today well at all. I have that overwhelming fear again... that...	Karebear	7	627	Apr 28, 2018 by madowl86
	First Meeting (Preview) So...I went to my very first face to face meeting today. I didn't realize it was a 4th step meeting. The people were very, very nice. Kind and understanding. I walked in 10 minutes early and a couple of women introduced themselves. There were no chairs left near the door, where I planned on sitting. So I c...	Dalbert	14	538	Apr 28, 2018 by serenity47
	Last couple of days have been a challenge (Preview) So Tuesday I had a meeting with the company that is handling my divorce. They helped me fill out their Final Work book for divorce. It was mostly about who gets what... we have very little, so it was super easy. Kid is almost 18, by the time the divorce is final, he probably will be 18! So that ended up being e...	PosiesandPuppies	13	564	Apr 27, 2018 by bud
	The new job. (Preview) I started the new job yesterday. I would like to say thanks to all of you here who gave me encouragement. Now, looking back, I can't believe how smoothly everything has played out. Also, looking back at my Al-Anon experience I do feel like something has changed in me. Nothing big. But, something in my ou...	WestMan	8	604	Apr 27, 2018 by bud
	Going to have a talk..not sure how to word things (Preview) Hey everyone. Itâs been a while since Iâve posted. Thatâs because things have been going moderately well. I just bought a house and my ABF and I moved back in together. This was a huge step because we hadnât lived together in almost 2 years. I had left because of his drinking. Our summer went well and he ha...	madowl86	4	465	Apr 27, 2018 by Aline
	Not sure what to do (Preview) Hello, I am in a situation and I am not sure what to do. Any advice is greatly appreciated. My father has been an alcoholic most of my life, often times cheerful drinking with stories from the past, often repeated many times over. But he is also very Bipolar when intoxicated and can flip from happy and rem...	SaddenedSon	7	724	Apr 27, 2018 by Aline
	Courage to Change 4/27/18 (Preview) Today's reading discusses self esteem and how it grows when we love and accept ourselves as we are. We block our own well-being each time we base our worth on what we do or what others think of me. Even IF we had some magical power that fixed all people, places and things in the world, we might still not fe...	Iamhere	2	385	Apr 27, 2018 by PosiesandPuppies
	I FINALLY did the right thing ! (Preview) And I didn't let my "fixer" mentality instantly take over and do something stupid. Over the years (for WAY too many years) I was really good at fixing my now 33 year old son's problems, many of them before he even realized that something was a problem - that's my picture next to "enabler" in the dictiona...	texas yankee	11	568	Apr 26, 2018 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change 4/26/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading is all about, "Take what you like and leave the rest..." which is one of the most important things we hear when we first come to Al-Anon. In Al-Anon, everything is suggested, not required. We each are given the freedom to pick and choose and if/when we disagree with...	Iamhere	4	465	Apr 26, 2018 by Aline
	Longest 45 minutes of my life (Preview) Ive had a call from ABFâs mum. I onow he was heading for a crisis and this appears to be it. Shes had the police involved as he mentioned suicide, drew put a lot of money and then disappeared. We know where he is now. Now, i know enough to let the police and the doctors do their job. He is seeing the consequen...	MizzB	21	547	Apr 26, 2018 by Bo
	Business meeting Sunday at 6PM all invited (Preview) IP Funding Meeting--Sunday, 6:PM--All Members InvitedPermalink Reply Quote More We are holding our second meeting on this subject tomorrow, Sunday at 6:00 PM in the Alanon Chat room. The meeting should take about 30 minutes. We have to decide how we will fund Miracles In Progress website and f...	hotrod	14	1212	Apr 25, 2018 by hotrod
	4/25/2018 ODAT (Preview) This mornings reading brought a smile to my heart and face because of the reminders of what it was like when I first really got into the program and HP removed all my distractions from finding the first step in the journey. It is so nicely and well written on this page and I remember what it first taught...	Jerry F	2	476	Apr 25, 2018 by Iamhere
	Sandy doesn't drink anymore (Preview) My friend Sandy doesn't drink anymore. He died. They say he had a heart attack and that may very well be the cause of death. He was a big guy and I once heard him say he had high blood pressure so maybe he did have a heart attack. I remember when my sister died of a drug overdose 30 years ago they said cause of dea...	Wolfie55	9	563	Apr 25, 2018 by Wolfie55
	Courage to Change April 25 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about connections between meetings. The author shares that making Al-Anon telephone calls can seem scary at first, but that these calls can act as a lifeline between meetings. Reviewing Al-Anon "basics" is as beneficial to the longtime member a...	Skorpi	5	655	Apr 25, 2018 by Aline
	Do I really need a sponsor? (Preview) Hi, I have been attending meetings for about 8 months now: I want to work the steps, but have not been able to find a sponsor. I keep asking around and keep getting shot down. I just attended a new meeting for the first time last night; asked someone and he said the same thing they always do Keep going to...	Hamarr	9	591	Apr 24, 2018 by WestMan
	ODAT Reading 4-24-18 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 24 speaks about entering the rooms of Al-Anon and discovering a bright new world. The reading suggests that this bright new world can be developed by picking up the Al-Anon tools such as a sponsor,. meetings, the steps and letting go of our old negative tools such as fear, bi...	hotrod	4	499	Apr 24, 2018 by Iamhere
	A little hope, perhaps? (Preview) Son is in rehab, 3-6 month program. He can't call us, we have a restraining order, but he did call another family member. Family member let me know that he is safe, likes it there (!), and (finally) agrees that home is not the best place for him. I toyed with the idea of going down to the courthouse and lift...	themoonandthestars	3	378	Apr 24, 2018 by Lyne
	A Message to John (Preview) Aloha John. Part of my popping in this morning was to get a look at your picture and feel the strong gratitude I have been led to feel since coming here and being a part of what you started and directed long ago. Mahalo Nui loa...Thanks so much. The family you gathered and continue to build on remains a...	Jerry F	4	514	Apr 24, 2018 by serenity47
	How to now when you've had enough and what to do? (Preview) I know I am still far away from this decision, although at times my emotions tell me to leave, kick him out for my sake and the kids. But he is the financial guy in the family. The idea of starting over is scary, so am I one of those that just stays in it? So I need to know from those of you who did decide to leave...	Dancer66	7	1547	Apr 23, 2018 by Jerry F
	Why? (Preview) I am 61 years old. I have been exposed to recovery programs, well educated, pretty successful career, etc. Why is it that I sit here on the verge of tears thinking about of the brutality and violence of my childhood? My immediate family relations have never been authentic. How could they be with such de...	ginnyc	9	495	Apr 23, 2018 by Jerry F
	my personal progress (Preview) Hi, I'm going to do a little self indulgent post here and reflect on the progress I have made in AlAnon. I came here broken, scared, constantly anxious. Fed up, resentful, angry. I still feel those things at times but the time I spend being ok is bigger than the time I spend in difficulties which is progr...	MizzB	18	597	Apr 23, 2018 by Dutchy
	C2C, 4/23 (Preview) Unable to feel: The writer talked about her inability to feel, about anything , and likened it to being dead. She said living with alcoholism caused her to deny every hint of anger, joy, or sorrow. As she began to recover, she began to feel, and found it very confusing at first. She even thought she w...	Lyne	7	503	Apr 23, 2018 by Aline
	Why it's good to be a bumble bee .. (Preview) So big laugh from me about my oldest .. I am honestly so proud of him at this point and that kid is so much braver than I am it's not even funny ... ironically the child doesn't know it and I get that too. I have mentioned what it means to be a bumble bee .. you do because you just don't have any other frame of refe...	SerenityRUS	7	562	Apr 23, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Resentments out the wazoo! (Preview) So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...	andromeda	12	725	Apr 22, 2018 by Bo
	Apr 22 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...	yanksfan51	3	499	Apr 22, 2018 by Dutchy
	sponsor (Preview) Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...	ling	5	445	Apr 21, 2018 by Jerry F
	I wasn't going to... (Preview) Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!	Hoot Nanny	3	429	Apr 21, 2018 by DavidG
	AA Daily Reflections? WTF (Preview) 19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...	Donehurting	15	1515	Apr 21, 2018 by Jerry F
	Odat 4/21/18 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...	lookingup	5	418	Apr 21, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hides Liquor and Lies about it (Preview) Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...	CarrieS	15	630	Apr 21, 2018 by Lyne
	Playing Cat and Mouse (Preview) Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...	Witchfinder	14	690	Apr 20, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 4/20/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...	Iamhere	2	612	Apr 20, 2018 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 4/19/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP....Today's reading talks about alcoholism being a disease. We can see that an alcoholic is ill, and not bad. When we attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature, sit in open AA meetings, we gain insight into what is and what is not reasonable to expect when dealing with an a...	Iamhere	5	473	Apr 19, 2018 by Stan1
	Deadline (Preview) ABF has been sober for around 36 hours so he's coherent enough to talk to. I have given him the deadline. He has until the summer holidays to improve of I'm calling time on the relationship. His mum knows I've given him this deadline. I am conflicted. Is this me still trying to control his drinking? Or is...	MizzB	8	726	Apr 19, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	How to deal with emotions from AH affair (Preview) Hello. New here. AH admitted of affair 2 days ago. Iâve been a wreck. Emotions all over the place. Have spoken on phone with Alanon went to meeting yesterday and am going next 2 days. Been trying to focus on myself but just a few days ago he was my focus too. 18 years ago I went to Al-Anon to learn how to deal wi...	mighty moe	10	590	Apr 19, 2018 by Iamhere
	Fear (Preview) Hello everyone, I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just...	Karebear	10	584	Apr 18, 2018 by andromeda
	Evening not that good (Preview) Hi, MIP family. So glad I can come and share here. I'm not feeling well today as I have caught some kind of a virus or similar, and I've been working from home today. I'm having a hard time not being critical about myself this evening, and I suppose I'll go get some rest after posting. Being sick is very unhe...	Aline	14	565	Apr 18, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change April 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about how we can get our needs fulfilled. The author shares that they had spent a lot of time yearning for things (courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication, etc.) that they were not getting from the alcoholic in their life. Their sp...	Skorpi	4	699	Apr 18, 2018 by DavidG
	Anger (Preview) I remember coming into the rooms and being so angry .. and that didn't start with my XAH .. I was a special kind of twisted in that regard .. however it certainly didn't help .. I had started to move past my early childhood anger only to revisit and revive it through our relationship. It festered and bloo...	SerenityRUS	11	653	Apr 18, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Crumbling boundary or just stupid? (Preview) Some people will know that last weekend I've set a boundary with my recovering alcoholic husband where I didn't want him to come over just to visit or 'be here' and see the girls. I wanted him to rebuild relationships with us and make it worthwhile. It's to difficult that he just comes over for a few hours...	Dutchy	15	646	Apr 18, 2018 by Dutchy
	Living one day at a time... (Preview) I learned some basics of life in Alanon. My parents and grandparents were fine people- but there was a deep seated flaw on the family. They did their best. At one stage in the 1970's I lost two uncles to suicide. The impact on their immediate family was obvious. In the same decade i became a mamber of the...	DavidG	4	517	Apr 18, 2018 by Dutchy
	Hard day today (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I read this board daily to keep myself on track - everyone on here is just amazing and your strength helps me so much. I find being reminded of the patterns of manipulation with this disease keep me centred and less easily blown off track. I have been separate...	VickiR	7	631	Apr 17, 2018 by el-cee
	ODAT Reading 4-17-2018 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 17 speaks about the negative voices that are ongoing within. These voices are destructive forces so that as soon as we hear them , the reading suggests that we call on a slogan or the serenity prayer at any time and replace these negative suggestions with positive energy....	hotrod	6	522	Apr 17, 2018 by Aline
	the program lasts a lifetime! (Preview) This program is for a lifetime. Once you become a member you are always a member. Even when you slip, you can come back. Even when someone is not attending meetings(speaking for myself) It never goes away. You will remember something that you heard at a meeting like the slogans or the serenity prayer th...	Hoot Nanny	2	492	Apr 17, 2018 by hotrod
	How to ask him to leave (Preview) Hi there. I am new to this, but not new to the heartache that alcoholism causes. Firstly, I am a recovering alcoholic. I havent drank in just under 2 years. My common law spouse is an alcoholi...a very active drinker. He did not quit during my road to recover. In fact he drank to the point that he has been...	Carson09	5	673	Apr 16, 2018 by Mattie
	C2C, 4/16 (Preview) Attitude / Self-Love: The writer learned in Alanon that her attitude about experiences were more important than what happened. She had choices. She tried to arrive at happiness from others, but it left her feeling deprived and unloveable. Through working the Steps, she learned that she was lo...	Lyne	7	629	Apr 16, 2018 by Aline
	Has it all been for nothing? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi all, Â I've been reading alot of posts and recently started going to Al Anon and have 1-1 therapy for the last 4months too.Â My husband was an emotional abusive alcoholic and the past 4 yearsthings really got a lot worse as we had to do a complete house renovation which we weren't prepared for...	Dutchy	49	1244	Apr 16, 2018 by Dutchy
	Being Neutral/Switzerland? (Preview) My bf and his ex wife are in the middle of quite an argument right now. She rents a home from him and has been there for about 3.5 years now. He gives her a break on the rent (about $500 a month). He does not pay child support.....long story, but let's just say he knew how to work the court system in his favor...	andromeda	17	1317	Apr 16, 2018 by Dutchy
	Hope for Today apr 15 (Preview) Hello everyone- Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without cea...	yanksfan51	3	579	Apr 15, 2018 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.