Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

andromeda · andromeda

So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...

ling · ling

Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!

Donehurting · Donehurting

19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...

lookingup · lookingup

The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...

CarrieS · CarrieS

Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...

Witchfinder · Witchfinder

Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP....Today's reading talks about alcoholism being a disease. We can see that an alcoholic is ill, and not bad. When we attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature, sit in open AA meetings, we gain insight into what is and what is not reasonable to expect when dealing with an a...

MizzB · MizzB

ABF has been sober for around 36 hours so he's coherent enough to talk to. I have given him the deadline. He has until the summer holidays to improve of I'm calling time on the relationship. His mum knows I've given him this deadline. I am conflicted. Is this me still trying to control his drinking? Or is...

mighty moe · mighty moe

Hello. New here. AH admitted of affair 2 days ago. Iâve been a wreck. Emotions all over the place. Have spoken on phone with Alanon went to meeting yesterday and am going next 2 days. Been trying to focus on myself but just a few days ago he was my focus too. 18 years ago I went to Al-Anon to learn how to deal wi...

Karebear · Karebear

Hello everyone, I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family. So glad I can come and share here. I'm not feeling well today as I have caught some kind of a virus or similar, and I've been working from home today. I'm having a hard time not being critical about myself this evening, and I suppose I'll go get some rest after posting. Being sick is very unhe...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about how we can get our needs fulfilled. The author shares that they had spent a lot of time yearning for things (courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication, etc.) that they were not getting from the alcoholic in their life. Their sp...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I remember coming into the rooms and being so angry .. and that didn't start with my XAH .. I was a special kind of twisted in that regard .. however it certainly didn't help .. I had started to move past my early childhood anger only to revisit and revive it through our relationship. It festered and bloo...

Dutchy · Dutchy

Some people will know that last weekend I've set a boundary with my recovering alcoholic husband where I didn't want him to come over just to visit or 'be here' and see the girls. I wanted him to rebuild relationships with us and make it worthwhile. It's to difficult that he just comes over for a few hours...

DavidG · DavidG

I learned some basics of life in Alanon. My parents and grandparents were fine people- but there was a deep seated flaw on the family. They did their best. At one stage in the 1970's I lost two uncles to suicide. The impact on their immediate family was obvious. In the same decade i became a mamber of the...

VickiR · VickiR

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I read this board daily to keep myself on track - everyone on here is just amazing and your strength helps me so much. I find being reminded of the patterns of manipulation with this disease keep me centred and less easily blown off track. I have been separate...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for April 17 speaks about the negative voices that are ongoing within. These voices are destructive forces so that as soon as we hear them , the reading suggests that we call on a slogan or the serenity prayer at any time and replace these negative suggestions with positive energy....

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This program is for a lifetime. Once you become a member you are always a member. Even when you slip, you can come back. Even when someone is not attending meetings(speaking for myself) It never goes away. You will remember something that you heard at a meeting like the slogans or the serenity prayer th...

Carson09 · Carson09

Hi there. I am new to this, but not new to the heartache that alcoholism causes. Firstly, I am a recovering alcoholic. I havent drank in just under 2 years. My common law spouse is an alcoholi...a very active drinker. He did not quit during my road to recover. In fact he drank to the point that he has been...

Lyne · Lyne

Attitude / Self-Love: The writer learned in Alanon that her attitude about experiences were more important than what happened. She had choices. She tried to arrive at happiness from others, but it left her feeling deprived and unloveable. Through working the Steps, she learned that she was lo...

Dutchy · Dutchy

Hi all, Â I've been reading alot of posts and recently started going to Al Anon and have 1-1 therapy for the last 4months too.Â My husband was an emotional abusive alcoholic and the past 4 yearsthings really got a lot worse as we had to do a complete house renovation which we weren't prepared for...

andromeda · andromeda

My bf and his ex wife are in the middle of quite an argument right now. She rents a home from him and has been there for about 3.5 years now. He gives her a break on the rent (about $500 a month). He does not pay child support.....long story, but let's just say he knew how to work the court system in his favor...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Hello everyone- Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without cea...

el-cee · el-cee

I hate it so much. I want it out my life. I want peace from the ugliness of alcoholism. I'm so worried about my son's drinking. Its getting worse. He can be and is verbally abusive to his gf. He's angry when sober and takes it out on her and her daughter. On the other side of that it's clear to see he loves them b...

hotrod · hotrod

Hi allTanin posted a message to the Business section regarding a business meeting. In case you missed it I have copied it below-- See you there To All MIP Members:We need to have a business meeting to discuss and decide issues of funding of the MIP forums and chat room hosting We have a couple of de...

Lil99 · Lil99

I felt like I was making some good progress with the programme. Things were starting to feel much better than they have for a long time. But this last couple of weeks I've been feeling more low. ABF is back up to his old tricks again. I'm tired out and not handling it well. A friend is visiting tomorrow...

Aline · Aline

Trying something new for me - writing about real-time events. I'm afraid normally. I'm afraid of people judging me negatively, also kind of afraid of people thinking of me positively, because I don't like my arrogance that raises its head royally above everyone else now and again. I'm having commun...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

since we asked our son to leave and got the restraining order. I fluctuate from feeling AWESOMELY FREE and SAFE from his violence to HORRIBLY GUILTY and FEARFUL of a possible revenge attack. Last night I found I was *very* triggered by driving alone in the dark. I had to pick up my daughter at school afte...

hotrod · hotrod

I am posting the daily for Looiking Up, who is under tornado watch. Prayers that she stays safe. The C2C reading for April 14 discusses our negative thinking and suggests ways of addressing it. The reading points out that awareness of the negative thoughts is the first step towards change. It sugg...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

I have been busying myself with an organizational project. This requires me to go through mountains of old paperwork and pictures. As I sort through these pictures I find myself looking at the ones of our AS with thoughts of "this was BEFORE he got sick" or "Look at his eyes. All lies." I feel so ANGRY tow...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP! Today's reading talks about considering change(s) to how we respond to situations today. Kindness is suggested as a goal instead of defensiveness or disrespect. It goes on the discuss relationships and how complicated they are simply because people are complicated. We all h...

Rose L · Rose L

I am new here. I have been to a few AlAnon meetings in person and people were supportive, at the moment I'm in the middle of some counselling and can't attend a meeting in person but may go back afterwards. So I thought I'd join online. I am separated from my husband who is a recovering alcoholic who atten...

Iamhere · Iamhere

"Grant me patience, Lord -- and hurry!" This is a quote from today's reading, which discusses that most of us want a quick fix or an immediate solution to difficult situations. Some situations have been ongoing for years, yet we want a solution in one day or even shorter. When it's not resolved when...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

When I was at my last job in my little town there was a man my age who was hired around the same time as I was .. I already knew the guy had 3 red flags all alcohol related .. I saw some other behaviors while I was still there and knew that at some point it was going to not well, as in he had a temper when he was not sobe...

MizzB · MizzB

My friend just announced she's pregnant. I am at home, alone, again, as the ABF is again AWOL, hasn't been off the alcohol for more than a couple of days for 9 weeks. I've come a long way in how I react to his drinking. I now won't message him to ask where he is. I don't get mad when he comes in. I'm so jealou...

CharBronte · CharBronte

I just started attending alanon meetings less than a month ago, and it has already left an indelible impact on my day to day life. My husband noticed right away and was effusive with praise by how quickly I took to making real changes in the management of my emotions. I'm able to control my need to control...

CBell · CBell

Hi Everyone- I have been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 1 year. Lately, it has become apparent to me that I still have a hard time talking about Al-Anon with my husband. It took me several weeks of going initially before I told him that I was going and over the course of the past year, it has become a big...

themoonandthestars · themoonandthestars

Unfortunately its worse than ever. Back in the winter of 2016/2017 I lost internet access. I was able to get a new computer a few weeks ago. If anyone remembers, my qualifiers are my identical twins on the spectrum. It has been a hellish ride since my last post culminating with a very scary, unprovoked...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about why we continue to attend AlAnon meetings and engage with the program through the years. The author shares that without help, living or having lived with an alcoholic is too much for them. They recognize a need for help in maintaining a ration...

Bamagrl · Bamagrl

My 18yr old son is an addict. He got clean for 8 months and a month ago relapsed. I attended my fist meeting last week and will be going back. I just feel like everything i do is wrong. I have not allowed him to stay at my house while he is using. So hard to do, but im at a loss. I saw him today and he does not even loo...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I am letting this go because this is my XAH and this is exactly who he is .. lol .. and I have to take ownership in the fact I have scared him so bad I'm sure whatever cahona's he was growing back left him yet again. I believe that is set 3 that have now been added to the vault. So after the wife texting my kid who...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The weather was favorable so I got on my swing! Yipee! Really Good thing. Serenity & peaceful!

Tude · Tude

Hi everyone. It's been a long time! I finally made my trip to visit my kids, granddaughter, and mom for a month+! Of course when I got home I am still playing catch up inside and out too now that the weather has a few warm days. I have to get a few acres planted and help finish a fence we are in the process of putt...

MizzB · MizzB

Hi, Has anyone tried individual therapy? Is it better to see someone who is experienced in alanon stuff or is a general therapist effective? I've tried therapy before for unrelated things (depression mostly) with mixed results. I'm determined to stay off chemical interventions unless absolute...

Jerry F · Jerry F

please add my daughter Celeste's name to your list if you care to...after a bout of shortness of breath and then a doctors visit they found a blood clot around her heart and or lungs...she is now in exploratory surgery and I am 7 thousand miles off her bed side. She is worth the prayers so as you care and r...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am winging it because I don't have my reading glasses. Huge font! I am so grateful. I have been blessed beyond measure. There is something about live one day at a time! I find my wrist bands help. You see I am using the wrist bands to remind me when I start future-tripping, I can look & even snap it a lit...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT reading for April 10 speaks about our attitudes and suggests new tools to help us grow.The reading asks the question, what am I really looking for in life? Is it interesting activities,? to meet my obligations to family or do I want to make myself into the kind of person I will enjoy being wi...

Lyne · Lyne

Detachment with indifference: The writer says that detachment came easy for him, but not with love, with indifference. In Alanon he learned to feel safe enough to feel his feelings. He also learned that he was more than his feelings, and he could see the alcoholic as more than his or her disease. H...

WorkingMom · WorkingMom

I am a mom of one, and another on the way. My boyfriend and I seem like we have a perfect life from the outside... So perfect that his parents were "unaware" of his drinking problem. We have been in our newly built house for a little over a year, I just began my own small business and he works in construction....

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning All: Todays reading is about the decision making process and its difficulty for some of us. The writer describes an uncomfortable situation when a group conscience decision is being made, and how decisions in general have been difficult because of the extremes learned as a child (fat...

Jerry F · Jerry F

It is Merrie Monarch time and that term represents a King (kalakaua) who lived in the past and loved deeply our music and dance...(mele and hula). I love it as deeply as he did and this annual event brings joy and elation to my heart. It is over 55 years and has now captured the participation of other cu...

Aline · Aline

Hi, MIP family.These past days Im trying to redirect my thinking to more pleasant things often. I see how Im so used to negative thinking its like I dont know how to live without it. It seems maybe it doesnt really matter all that much what it is that Im thinking as long as its doom and gloom, and self-criti...

MizzB · MizzB

Hey, So, it's been a while. I've been reading but not in a mental state to talk. Last week was really bad. My work pressure got so much I pulled a sickie. Except I was having panic attacks and shaking. so it wasn't really pulling a sickie, but I did lie about why I wasn't in work. I was supposed to have a meetin...

Lyne · Lyne

Seems I'm having a rough couple of days, however I must examine, How Important is It? No one is dying.... I just learned that because of my good intentions to offer dinner to my son, dtr-in-law, and grandchild, I upset "the schedule" for the other grandma, and my 7yr old granddaughter had a melt-down....

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's reading in Courage to Change is about taking the time to notice and enjoy things we like. The author shares that their favorite time of day was early morning, but after years of living with an active alcoholic, they seemed to be consumed by one crisis or another from the time they woke to the tim...

Lyne · Lyne

Today I plan to discuss several issues with my grown son. I actually have anxiety, and I don't want to have it. There is no reason to have it. Nothing bad is going to happen, and I believe this is left over trauma from childhood. With all my tools and progress my rational mind says how ridiculous I am to...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

How I feel or what I should feel because I'm pretty blank at the moment. Emotional lights are on however just not feeling it at the moment. I do know I felt a little shock when my kiddo told me. My XAH had back surgery last Nov and proceeded to give me the whole diatribe about how he had to have blood work do...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Resentments out the wazoo! (Preview) So, I've started working my step 4 again and one of the things I am seeing is a serious issue with resentment. I feel like I've lost my way. The resentments keep piling up the more I write and work that step. It's making me fearful of wanting to do more because it's revealing a part of me that I'm not very f...	andromeda	12	651	Apr 22, 2018 by Bo
	Apr 22 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning Everyone- In todays reading, those things that weigh us down, such as loneliness, resentment, bitterness, etc are compared to rocks that we pick up and must carry along with us as we go through our days. The writer suggests that coming into the program and learning tools such as meeting...	yanksfan51	3	398	Apr 22, 2018 by Dutchy
	sponsor (Preview) Hi am jealous? Or if I am don't I have a right to be? My AH wants his best mate to be his sponsor as well. Is this right? My AH met him at AA a few years ago and the relationship immediately took over. Constant phonecalls etc. I hadn't met the guy and the first thing he said was ' shall I get him to take time off work...	ling	5	386	Apr 21, 2018 by Jerry F
	I wasn't going to... (Preview) Posting today. I don't have a lot to say except that things are looking up. My mom is closer now than before. A good thing I guess. She calls & I don't dread it as much. Been walking more. Sunshine. Serenity. Acceptance. Hope. Joy!	Hoot Nanny	3	347	Apr 21, 2018 by DavidG
	AA Daily Reflections? WTF (Preview) 19AprilBROTHERS IN OUR DEFECTSWe recovered alcoholics are not so much brothers in virtue as we are brothers in our defects, and in our common strivings to overcome them. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 167The identification that one alcoholic has with another is mysterious, spiritualalmost incomprehensibl...	Donehurting	15	1440	Apr 21, 2018 by Jerry F
	Odat 4/21/18 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 21 Speaks about Al-Anon being a spiritual program. The reading points out that there are two roadblocks that may keep us from seeing the value of the spiritual approach to our problems. These are:"; Self. Righteousness and Self-justification. The first, self-righteou...	lookingup	5	340	Apr 21, 2018 by Iamhere
	Hides Liquor and Lies about it (Preview) Hi I am new here. I hope someone can help me make some decisions about my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 years. We live together. He has a 13 daughter that I love. He's an functioning alcoholic in my opinion. First of all I want you to know he is a good man. He is very sensitive and caring and I know h...	CarrieS	15	559	Apr 21, 2018 by Lyne
	Playing Cat and Mouse (Preview) Hey guys, It has been a while since I posted (for the first time) but have been visiting, and reading. Your sharing is inspiring and often gives me comfort when I think my AW is up to her old tricks again. But I just wanted to hear from you guys if you share a habit that I have formed throughout the 8 years of li...	Witchfinder	14	595	Apr 20, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 4/20/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP. Today's reading talks about being authentic - Al-Anon gives us a safe place to be ourselves. We can share embarrassing secrets that were previously buried with Al-Anon friends and we learn that sharing is the key to healing. When we learn to share honestly with people we trust, w...	Iamhere	2	533	Apr 20, 2018 by hotrod
	Courage to Change 4/19/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP....Today's reading talks about alcoholism being a disease. We can see that an alcoholic is ill, and not bad. When we attend Al-Anon meetings regularly, read literature, sit in open AA meetings, we gain insight into what is and what is not reasonable to expect when dealing with an a...	Iamhere	5	414	Apr 19, 2018 by Stan1
	Deadline (Preview) ABF has been sober for around 36 hours so he's coherent enough to talk to. I have given him the deadline. He has until the summer holidays to improve of I'm calling time on the relationship. His mum knows I've given him this deadline. I am conflicted. Is this me still trying to control his drinking? Or is...	MizzB	8	635	Apr 19, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	How to deal with emotions from AH affair (Preview) Hello. New here. AH admitted of affair 2 days ago. Iâve been a wreck. Emotions all over the place. Have spoken on phone with Alanon went to meeting yesterday and am going next 2 days. Been trying to focus on myself but just a few days ago he was my focus too. 18 years ago I went to Al-Anon to learn how to deal wi...	mighty moe	10	524	Apr 19, 2018 by Iamhere
	Fear (Preview) Hello everyone, I am new here, only been going to al anon for two months and joined here so that I could get some extra encouragement throughout the week. I seem to be struggling with a lot of things, but one of my biggest struggles right now is fear. I know I haven't been part of the program long, but I just...	Karebear	10	517	Apr 18, 2018 by andromeda
	Evening not that good (Preview) Hi, MIP family. So glad I can come and share here. I'm not feeling well today as I have caught some kind of a virus or similar, and I've been working from home today. I'm having a hard time not being critical about myself this evening, and I suppose I'll go get some rest after posting. Being sick is very unhe...	Aline	14	491	Apr 18, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Courage to Change April 18 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about how we can get our needs fulfilled. The author shares that they had spent a lot of time yearning for things (courtesy, respect, attention, affection, communication, etc.) that they were not getting from the alcoholic in their life. Their sp...	Skorpi	4	600	Apr 18, 2018 by DavidG
	Anger (Preview) I remember coming into the rooms and being so angry .. and that didn't start with my XAH .. I was a special kind of twisted in that regard .. however it certainly didn't help .. I had started to move past my early childhood anger only to revisit and revive it through our relationship. It festered and bloo...	SerenityRUS	11	569	Apr 18, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Crumbling boundary or just stupid? (Preview) Some people will know that last weekend I've set a boundary with my recovering alcoholic husband where I didn't want him to come over just to visit or 'be here' and see the girls. I wanted him to rebuild relationships with us and make it worthwhile. It's to difficult that he just comes over for a few hours...	Dutchy	15	579	Apr 18, 2018 by Dutchy
	Living one day at a time... (Preview) I learned some basics of life in Alanon. My parents and grandparents were fine people- but there was a deep seated flaw on the family. They did their best. At one stage in the 1970's I lost two uncles to suicide. The impact on their immediate family was obvious. In the same decade i became a mamber of the...	DavidG	4	435	Apr 18, 2018 by Dutchy
	Hard day today (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted in a while, but I read this board daily to keep myself on track - everyone on here is just amazing and your strength helps me so much. I find being reminded of the patterns of manipulation with this disease keep me centred and less easily blown off track. I have been separate...	VickiR	7	551	Apr 17, 2018 by el-cee
	ODAT Reading 4-17-2018 (Preview) The ODA T reading for April 17 speaks about the negative voices that are ongoing within. These voices are destructive forces so that as soon as we hear them , the reading suggests that we call on a slogan or the serenity prayer at any time and replace these negative suggestions with positive energy....	hotrod	6	440	Apr 17, 2018 by Aline
	the program lasts a lifetime! (Preview) This program is for a lifetime. Once you become a member you are always a member. Even when you slip, you can come back. Even when someone is not attending meetings(speaking for myself) It never goes away. You will remember something that you heard at a meeting like the slogans or the serenity prayer th...	Hoot Nanny	2	400	Apr 17, 2018 by hotrod
	How to ask him to leave (Preview) Hi there. I am new to this, but not new to the heartache that alcoholism causes. Firstly, I am a recovering alcoholic. I havent drank in just under 2 years. My common law spouse is an alcoholi...a very active drinker. He did not quit during my road to recover. In fact he drank to the point that he has been...	Carson09	5	585	Apr 16, 2018 by Mattie
	C2C, 4/16 (Preview) Attitude / Self-Love: The writer learned in Alanon that her attitude about experiences were more important than what happened. She had choices. She tried to arrive at happiness from others, but it left her feeling deprived and unloveable. Through working the Steps, she learned that she was lo...	Lyne	7	532	Apr 16, 2018 by Aline
	Has it all been for nothing? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Hi all, Â I've been reading alot of posts and recently started going to Al Anon and have 1-1 therapy for the last 4months too.Â My husband was an emotional abusive alcoholic and the past 4 yearsthings really got a lot worse as we had to do a complete house renovation which we weren't prepared for...	Dutchy	49	1102	Apr 16, 2018 by Dutchy
	Being Neutral/Switzerland? (Preview) My bf and his ex wife are in the middle of quite an argument right now. She rents a home from him and has been there for about 3.5 years now. He gives her a break on the rent (about $500 a month). He does not pay child support.....long story, but let's just say he knew how to work the court system in his favor...	andromeda	17	1145	Apr 16, 2018 by Dutchy
	Hope for Today apr 15 (Preview) Hello everyone- Todays reading is about the concept of detachment. When I first began hearing about the idea of detachment, it seemed cold and maybe even cruel to detach- from people. I wasnt able to do it. I began to realize that it is possible to detach from a persons behavior/addiction without cea...	yanksfan51	3	493	Apr 15, 2018 by Jerry F
	This twisted disease (Preview) I hate it so much. I want it out my life. I want peace from the ugliness of alcoholism. I'm so worried about my son's drinking. Its getting worse. He can be and is verbally abusive to his gf. He's angry when sober and takes it out on her and her daughter. On the other side of that it's clear to see he loves them b...	el-cee	9	507	Apr 15, 2018 by Iamhere
	Business meeting alanon chat room on Sat, 4-14 8 PM and follow up on meeting (Preview) Hi allTanin posted a message to the Business section regarding a business meeting. In case you missed it I have copied it below-- See you there To All MIP Members:We need to have a business meeting to discuss and decide issues of funding of the MIP forums and chat room hosting We have a couple of de...	hotrod	1	1031	Apr 14, 2018 by hotrod
	Feeling a bit low (Preview) I felt like I was making some good progress with the programme. Things were starting to feel much better than they have for a long time. But this last couple of weeks I've been feeling more low. ABF is back up to his old tricks again. I'm tired out and not handling it well. A friend is visiting tomorrow...	Lil99	12	542	Apr 14, 2018 by LinSC
	Sharing about real-time events (Preview) Trying something new for me - writing about real-time events. I'm afraid normally. I'm afraid of people judging me negatively, also kind of afraid of people thinking of me positively, because I don't like my arrogance that raises its head royally above everyone else now and again. I'm having commun...	Aline	12	637	Apr 14, 2018 by Aline
	It's been 4 days (Preview) since we asked our son to leave and got the restraining order. I fluctuate from feeling AWESOMELY FREE and SAFE from his violence to HORRIBLY GUILTY and FEARFUL of a possible revenge attack. Last night I found I was very triggered by driving alone in the dark. I had to pick up my daughter at school afte...	themoonandthestars	3	433	Apr 14, 2018 by serenity47
	C2C Reading 4-14-2018 (Preview) I am posting the daily for Looiking Up, who is under tornado watch. Prayers that she stays safe. The C2C reading for April 14 discusses our negative thinking and suggests ways of addressing it. The reading points out that awareness of the negative thoughts is the first step towards change. It sugg...	hotrod	2	425	Apr 14, 2018 by Stan1
	One more weird observation about my gut reactions.... (Preview) I have been busying myself with an organizational project. This requires me to go through mountains of old paperwork and pictures. As I sort through these pictures I find myself looking at the ones of our AS with thoughts of "this was BEFORE he got sick" or "Look at his eyes. All lies." I feel so ANGRY tow...	themoonandthestars	2	453	Apr 14, 2018 by Dutchy
	Courage to Change 4/13/18 (Preview) Good morning MIP! Today's reading talks about considering change(s) to how we respond to situations today. Kindness is suggested as a goal instead of defensiveness or disrespect. It goes on the discuss relationships and how complicated they are simply because people are complicated. We all h...	Iamhere	10	549	Apr 14, 2018 by Iamhere
	In Sickness and in Health (Preview) I am new here. I have been to a few AlAnon meetings in person and people were supportive, at the moment I'm in the middle of some counselling and can't attend a meeting in person but may go back afterwards. So I thought I'd join online. I am separated from my husband who is a recovering alcoholic who atten...	Rose L	13	614	Apr 13, 2018 by Bo
	Courage to Change 4/12/18 (Preview) "Grant me patience, Lord -- and hurry!" This is a quote from today's reading, which discusses that most of us want a quick fix or an immediate solution to difficult situations. Some situations have been ongoing for years, yet we want a solution in one day or even shorter. When it's not resolved when...	Iamhere	6	442	Apr 12, 2018 by Dutchy
	Sad Story .. (Preview) When I was at my last job in my little town there was a man my age who was hired around the same time as I was .. I already knew the guy had 3 red flags all alcohol related .. I saw some other behaviors while I was still there and knew that at some point it was going to not well, as in he had a temper when he was not sobe...	SerenityRUS	5	627	Apr 12, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	Craving a normal life (Preview) My friend just announced she's pregnant. I am at home, alone, again, as the ABF is again AWOL, hasn't been off the alcohol for more than a couple of days for 9 weeks. I've come a long way in how I react to his drinking. I now won't message him to ask where he is. I don't get mad when he comes in. I'm so jealou...	MizzB	10	578	Apr 12, 2018 by Bo
	Thankful for this opportunity Adult-Child New Member (Preview) I just started attending alanon meetings less than a month ago, and it has already left an indelible impact on my day to day life. My husband noticed right away and was effusive with praise by how quickly I took to making real changes in the management of my emotions. I'm able to control my need to control...	CharBronte	6	897	Apr 12, 2018 by Iamhere
	Explaining Al-Anon (Preview) Hi Everyone- I have been a grateful member of Al-Anon for 1 year. Lately, it has become apparent to me that I still have a hard time talking about Al-Anon with my husband. It took me several weeks of going initially before I told him that I was going and over the course of the past year, it has become a big...	CBell	8	585	Apr 11, 2018 by CBell
	18 months has gone by since my last post and (Preview) Unfortunately its worse than ever. Back in the winter of 2016/2017 I lost internet access. I was able to get a new computer a few weeks ago. If anyone remembers, my qualifiers are my identical twins on the spectrum. It has been a hellish ride since my last post culminating with a very scary, unprovoked...	themoonandthestars	9	542	Apr 11, 2018 by el-cee
	Courage to Change April 11 (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading in Courage to Change is about why we continue to attend AlAnon meetings and engage with the program through the years. The author shares that without help, living or having lived with an alcoholic is too much for them. They recognize a need for help in maintaining a ration...	Skorpi	2	600	Apr 11, 2018 by Iamhere
	New and lost (Preview) My 18yr old son is an addict. He got clean for 8 months and a month ago relapsed. I attended my fist meeting last week and will be going back. I just feel like everything i do is wrong. I have not allowed him to stay at my house while he is using. So hard to do, but im at a loss. I saw him today and he does not even loo...	Bamagrl	6	505	Apr 11, 2018 by Lyne
	More information of course .. (Preview) I am letting this go because this is my XAH and this is exactly who he is .. lol .. and I have to take ownership in the fact I have scared him so bad I'm sure whatever cahona's he was growing back left him yet again. I believe that is set 3 that have now been added to the vault. So after the wife texting my kid who...	SerenityRUS	2	486	Apr 10, 2018 by SerenityRUS
	swing! (Preview) The weather was favorable so I got on my swing! Yipee! Really Good thing. Serenity & peaceful!	Hoot Nanny	5	393	Apr 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	Wow, time passes too fast! (Preview) Hi everyone. It's been a long time! I finally made my trip to visit my kids, granddaughter, and mom for a month+! Of course when I got home I am still playing catch up inside and out too now that the weather has a few warm days. I have to get a few acres planted and help finish a fence we are in the process of putt...	Tude	7	490	Apr 10, 2018 by Tude
	Quick question (Preview) Hi, Has anyone tried individual therapy? Is it better to see someone who is experienced in alanon stuff or is a general therapist effective? I've tried therapy before for unrelated things (depression mostly) with mixed results. I'm determined to stay off chemical interventions unless absolute...	MizzB	10	531	Apr 10, 2018 by Hoot Nanny
	When you're praying .... (Preview) please add my daughter Celeste's name to your list if you care to...after a bout of shortness of breath and then a doctors visit they found a blood clot around her heart and or lungs...she is now in exploratory surgery and I am 7 thousand miles off her bed side. She is worth the prayers so as you care and r...	Jerry F	11	435	Apr 10, 2018 by Jerry F
	I never had it so good, thanks to recovery (Preview) I am winging it because I don't have my reading glasses. Huge font! I am so grateful. I have been blessed beyond measure. There is something about live one day at a time! I find my wrist bands help. You see I am using the wrist bands to remind me when I start future-tripping, I can look & even snap it a lit...	Hoot Nanny	4	466	Apr 10, 2018 by Hoot Nanny
	ODAT Reading 4-10-18 (Preview) The ODAT reading for April 10 speaks about our attitudes and suggests new tools to help us grow.The reading asks the question, what am I really looking for in life? Is it interesting activities,? to meet my obligations to family or do I want to make myself into the kind of person I will enjoy being wi...	hotrod	2	404	Apr 10, 2018 by Iamhere
	C2C, 4/9 (Preview) Detachment with indifference: The writer says that detachment came easy for him, but not with love, with indifference. In Alanon he learned to feel safe enough to feel his feelings. He also learned that he was more than his feelings, and he could see the alcoholic as more than his or her disease. H...	Lyne	8	508	Apr 9, 2018 by Jerry F
	Completely lost at this point (Preview) I am a mom of one, and another on the way. My boyfriend and I seem like we have a perfect life from the outside... So perfect that his parents were "unaware" of his drinking problem. We have been in our newly built house for a little over a year, I just began my own small business and he works in construction....	WorkingMom	5	526	Apr 9, 2018 by Iamhere
	Apr 8 Hope for Today (Preview) Good morning All: Todays reading is about the decision making process and its difficulty for some of us. The writer describes an uncomfortable situation when a group conscience decision is being made, and how decisions in general have been difficult because of the extremes learned as a child (fat...	yanksfan51	8	439	Apr 8, 2018 by hotrod
	Being deeply blessed (Preview) It is Merrie Monarch time and that term represents a King (kalakaua) who lived in the past and loved deeply our music and dance...(mele and hula). I love it as deeply as he did and this annual event brings joy and elation to my heart. It is over 55 years and has now captured the participation of other cu...	Jerry F	7	426	Apr 8, 2018 by hotrod
	Saying bye to negative thoughts? (Preview) Hi, MIP family.These past days Im trying to redirect my thinking to more pleasant things often. I see how Im so used to negative thinking its like I dont know how to live without it. It seems maybe it doesnt really matter all that much what it is that Im thinking as long as its doom and gloom, and self-criti...	Aline	9	562	Apr 8, 2018 by Iamhere
	Still on the not-so-merry-go-round (Preview) Hey, So, it's been a while. I've been reading but not in a mental state to talk. Last week was really bad. My work pressure got so much I pulled a sickie. Except I was having panic attacks and shaking. so it wasn't really pulling a sickie, but I did lie about why I wasn't in work. I was supposed to have a meetin...	MizzB	10	553	Apr 8, 2018 by DavidG
	Dont want to hold onto guilt (Preview) Seems I'm having a rough couple of days, however I must examine, How Important is It? No one is dying.... I just learned that because of my good intentions to offer dinner to my son, dtr-in-law, and grandchild, I upset "the schedule" for the other grandma, and my 7yr old granddaughter had a melt-down....	Lyne	6	510	Apr 8, 2018 by Stan1
	Courage to Change April 4 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change is about taking the time to notice and enjoy things we like. The author shares that their favorite time of day was early morning, but after years of living with an active alcoholic, they seemed to be consumed by one crisis or another from the time they woke to the tim...	Skorpi	5	641	Apr 7, 2018 by bud
	scared (Preview) Today I plan to discuss several issues with my grown son. I actually have anxiety, and I don't want to have it. There is no reason to have it. Nothing bad is going to happen, and I believe this is left over trauma from childhood. With all my tools and progress my rational mind says how ridiculous I am to...	Lyne	9	540	Apr 7, 2018 by bud
	Not sure .. (Preview) How I feel or what I should feel because I'm pretty blank at the moment. Emotional lights are on however just not feeling it at the moment. I do know I felt a little shock when my kiddo told me. My XAH had back surgery last Nov and proceeded to give me the whole diatribe about how he had to have blood work do...	SerenityRUS	30	786	Apr 7, 2018 by Iamhere
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.