Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Went for a job interview today, won't hear anything till the end of the week, also called my daughter since I was down near her work, we went to lunch. And after I left her something popped in my head about a meeting, I had the pamplet in my purse and sure enough I was in the right place and the right time, I Mad...

Wanttohelp · Wanttohelp

wow...when the "Author's Foreward" describes and talkes about you completely...you know this has to be the right book for you!! Starting it now..thanks for the suggestion!!

Jerry F · Jerry F

Kuleana is a cultural behavior for me. Koo lee ah nah is that part of my life where and when I am participating in my life and the lives of others. Okay this is not a Hawaiian language or cultural lesson; it is only a mention of how I arrived and the lessons given to me as a child thru my adult years and impo...

denro · denro

After a full week as an all in member of Al-Anon in dealing with my compulsive liar investment partner from the old economy, I have been able to email that I am not interested in ANY promises, calendar dates of promises, forthcomings etc, but it makes me mad that I know it is the same as dealing with a lying...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

Just a quick update and check-in to say hi! I will have more time later this week to dig into the board and read what I missed the past few months. Can't wait! Missed the Al Anon wisdom and peace. I got back from basic training. It was tough. At 34, my body needed a bit more recovery time than was offered...

Pushka · Pushka

While I know I need to keep the focus on me and the kids, is it wrong for me to pray for him to find his bottom? I'm just curious, I've decided I'm prepared for the God of my understanding to fully answer that question. Whatever that bottom is I'm prepared to watch as he hits and steer clear of the urge to fix...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I am so filled with understanding, love and compassion for my AH when we don't associate with each other. I so want to get through to him that I haven't given up on him and can still forgive everything and stand by him every step of the way if he were truly trying to fight his alcoholism but I can't wait forev...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH apologized for his comments about the rapist thing. He has been very nice this week since I caught him in the middle of a relapse this weekend. I have withdrawn physically from him, not to punish him but basically because I just don't feel anything for him right now. I am being pleasant and we eve...

uscgmomma1028 · uscgmomma1028

I have been reading post on this website for a month or so. And want to thank everyone for the stories, because they do help. Hmmm, how do I start, it is not crazy to me how I have ended up in the situation I am in. I am the child of an alcoholic, abuse as a child, married an alcoholic, was proud of my self after...

Jsjjkelly · Jsjjkelly

Hi all! I've been lurking and reading for awhile. It has greatly helped me after my AH and his episodes. He's been going to AA meetings and seems to be wanting to work on his sobriety. Like everything else, there are good days and then horrible days. The question I have is how to deal with this situati...

Amemadchen · Amemadchen

I have been in this relationship for 7 years. We were friends first so I know how he was with his past girlfriends but never thought he would end up treating me the same way. How wrong I was! Our biggest arguement is I just want to spend time together but any time he has free he goes to the bar lately. Even...

soldiermom · soldiermom

I am new here and would like to attend face to face meetings, but the scheduled meetings are at times and days that I cannot attend. So I figued this is better than nothing. So anyway, I have been dating someone for a little more than a year now, and we have had a very dramtic relationship filled with deep lo...

LeahS · LeahS

It's been sixteen years that I have been with my huband. He is an alcoholic. Until last night he had been sober for a little over two years. He came home last night after assuring me that he wasn't nor does he ever want to drink again DRUNK! I love this man with everything I have and I guess my question is shou...

willowtree · willowtree

Ok, I am just going to throw some things out here that I have been struggling with. I have been in Alanon for over a year and I have just started doing step one. I have a sponsor and I think it is a good match but my problem is I am so shy to tell her my deepest feelings and thoughts. I am a very emotionally base...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I can go along and feel fine, happy, puttering, hanging wash, watching funny stuff on netflix. No real concern. Then out of nowhere, back down I go. Gradually. RRRRRR I don't want excitement or always JOyful, just that comfy its ok feeling. Nothing has changed. Did I sleep funny, did I eat wrong? Did th...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

As I woke up this morning and had to fight my 4 year old out of bed to get us all up and to school I realized my attitude was in the wrong place. So here is my readjustment. I am appreciative for my 2 healthy beautiful children who bring me so much love and blessings everyday! I am so grateful for my friends who h...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50894344/tradition-11-alanon/

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all, This is a bit of a pity-party, but I hope I am learning from it. I grew up on a farm and it was a rich and vibrant place- all sorts of animals, fruit, hills and mountains; water too. There was something not quite right about my world and I found out more about that when i grew up. That was a shock at fors...

mcgee1962 · mcgee1962

I am new to this board but after reading a few of the posts and saying to myself several times "whoa that sounds familar" I think I may have found the right place to be. I apologize if this first post is a bit long... In a nutshell... my partner is a recovering addict. We have known each other for o...

denro · denro

I have a compulsive liar for an investment partner that the lies have been making me miserable for the past few years. Whatever comes out of his mouth is not to be believed. He owes me money and I may get it and I may not get it. He will have to live with the consequences of his actions, though I really don't th...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My hope is that it will get better for me personally. I have been going back & forth w/ being in pain & recognizing why that the pain is getting me very moody. I have been resting--sleeping in a lot lately. Not a sign of depression though. I just need the extra rest lately. I have a lot of time on my ha...

Freja · Freja

I've ordered the book and it's on its way! Very excited. Won't be here for a few weeks yet. Bummer. Can't wait to read it and put its advice to use. Those of you who have read it, what is your favorite parts? What did you find really helped you? I'd love to hear what you have to share since I just can't wait to re...

arasaxto · arasaxto

Life has been a lot harder for me lately. After some soul searching, i have realized that i have hovered some serious issues that i have had with my first love from almost 20 years ago. I met him when, he had just been released from a halfway house. needless to say he was very emotionally abusive to me. i tri...

nmike · nmike

I interviewed, accepted the offer, and started my move. I have been here for two months. It is a big change for me after 24 years in the same place. I live with my 90 year old mother. I have to learn to get along with her because I never have gotten along with her. She was the major codependent with my alcoholi...

Higgins335 · Higgins335

My wife left to a 45 day in patient rehab 2 days ago. Before that she was in the hospital for a week detoxing. While I know that her getting clean is best in the long run I am struggling. We have been married for just over 2 years. Our twins are at her parents house till she gets out of rehab and I find myself in a h...

Jerry F · 1234567890

my husband is a recovering alcoholic. his problem is occasional, unpredictable binge drinking episodes that have let to DWI's and his dissapearance for a night at a time. he never drank daily or regularly, only weekends or random days when he "couldn't hold it in anymore and needed to upload st...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Recently, I had a day in court and I felt I'd done a good job of representing myself. Unfortunately, the outcome didn't change. I have a very big payment to make. I had my year end review at work and even though I felt I'd performed the duties of my job well, I was worried. At my last workplace, there was...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

AH just got out of rehab, is staying with his parents, all thru treatment kept telling me what an angel I am and how much he wants to work on saving our marriage THEN he doesn't even call me today when he gets out of the rehab center and the first thing he does is post on Facebook that "I'm BACK, Seperate...

pineapple · pineapple

I've been sick since yesterday. I've been staying in bed except to feed the dogs, use the bathroom, and refill my juice and water glasses. I want someone to make me soup and bring it to me. Someone to tuck the blankets around me so I'll stay warm. Someone to hold my hand and tell me I'll feel better tomorrow...

Praying wife · Praying wife

Where do I begin, I've been with my AH for over 11 years, married for 7. He has a 16 year old daughter that I love dearly. He comes from a different Country and have seen much devastation in his life. He's always been a loner and have abandonment issues. He's a smart educated man with a great job BUT He's alwa...

batcheat · batcheat

Hi there. I'm new to this group. I live in a country where we don't have Al Anon, so I didn't know where else to turn. I apologize if this first post is rambling and incoherent. I'll try to keep it short. For the past few years I've been living with a man who's had a long-term struggle with alcohol. I don't t...

Kismet · Kismet

As some of you know, my AH has been in rehab for almost 2 months now. Due to the nature of his business (restaurant/bar) he will have to make a major change once he gets out of rehab. His councellor has agreed that although big changes at this stage are unadvisable, his situation requires it. His family ar...

Bodycount02 · Bodycount02

I apologize if i am posting in the wrong area but i have looked everywhere. I am a soldier stationed on Fort Riley, Kansas and I need to find AA meetings near me, preferably in junction city or topeka. Again i am really sorry if i am posting in the wrong place i have just looked everywhere. Im desperate at th...

Zimmy · Zimmy

Just wanted to share something im quite new on here so first time Ive shared on here!! Here goes, I have had a really trying day today, all emotions good and bad, but it was great just to be able to use some of my alanon tools to get me through the day. I remembered that its ok, i will feel things good and bad, t...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Heard this song on the way home from work but heard it in a new way since the latest events in my life. I'm sure a lot of you will relate too.

A_Shu108 · A_Shu108

Hello, Im really new to this, i just posted my story and right now i feel very...empowered. I have finally been able to detach from the things my husband has done and how it makes me feel. But i have a question, while i think having and hearing peoples stories helps when struggling through this process is...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

When I posted Tuesday I was so frustrated!!! I was also experiencing various shades of anger. I had signed up for the program for my meeting on Tuesday and was praying about the topic. I felt like anger would be a good one. As I was reading through the readings in One Day at a Time and Courage to Change 2 read...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I'm relatively new here...was active about a year ago when my DH went to rehab for an opiate addiction. Everyone was so helpful and supportive. Although he's almost a year clean, I'm back for advice on dealing with my dad... My father, before my sister and I were born, abused MANY things...alcohol, ga...

holivex · holivex

So my AH has relapsed yet again and is currently living with his mother, sister, brother in law, and nephew. My mother in law supports all of them on what little savings she has left, and AH uses whatever cash he has to buy his vodka. He refuses to take phone calls from anyone, answer emails, or anything...

_heather_ · _heather_

Finally. I detatched myself from my husband and am currently separated. I could not be happier with my decision for my own well being. I struggled a lot thinking I couldn't do it on my own but I picked up the pieces and I have been. I am so proud of myself. I feel happy, healthy and strong. My only issue is wi...

dragonflys · dragonflys

My husband moved back to our state last week. We have been seperated by 700 miles for the past 5 months. He told me the reason he was moving back to our state was to be able to see his daughter. I guess that was a lie...which he admitted tonight. I took my daughter to see her daddy last weekend. I gues...

Icie · Icie

Anyone of you could be married to my alcoholic son, who has broken my heart over & over & has hurt his children over & over & his ex wife. His wife finally left him & divorced him, but she has never gone to AL anon so all the craziness continues, between them over the kids & one tryi...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

After 11 years I feel like I have been beaten by this diease. I am giving up. I Have no where to go, no money, he has MY car all the time now. I am just giving up...... I see no way out. i have burnt all my bridges with my family. I have no friends. I can see that is is keeping me isolated. He is so sneaky, narrastic....

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

I am new to all this and am really having a tough time figuring it all out. I know it's going to take time and meetings and my HP. But my confusion at the moment is the difference between detachment and just not caring or is it the same thing. Am I not supposed to care when he puts down me or my son? Am I not supp...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hope I didn't scare anyone off with the title of this subject...I know we are all connected to our higher powers in different ways and levels. I have to say I have seen his hand so powerfully in my life in recent months that it is overwhelming. I think back to last summer, when I never knew what I would come h...

lovestoread · lovestoread

My ABF Texts me today and tells me he got locked out of his car today after he had his tooth extracted because he blew positive for alcohol? and the reason for that was the novocaine? HUH? I'm not sure I understand but..ahhh okay. Now he has to go to the place that does the breathalizer on his vehicle a...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I have made great strides and slipped and forged ahead and I felt another slip here recently. I am now more aware of myself than I have ever been. I thought I was magically cured and forgot this is a process and if I stop working my program I will backslide. It was a great reminder and onward I am going. I stil...

A_Shu108 · A_Shu108

Hey there... I decided I needed a group to help me stay focused and discuss my thoughts and hear how others are dealing with this crazy thing we call "addiction" I am married to a man who is no doubt an alcoholic. He is a Binge drinker, the type that doesnt drink a lick all week but feels entitled...

Kismet · Kismet

I am so angry I hardly know where to begin. My AH has been in business with his family for the past 20 years; they are all co-owners of a restaurant/pub. The setup and environment has always been toxic to the sons, my husband's brother was going down a bad road with drugs until he met his wife 8 years ago and h...

Inuyami · Inuyami

Hello everybody! It's been a while since I've been on to read or post anything on these boards but here is an update and maybe you all can give me some advice. Today marks two weeks that my AH hasn't drank (if I am to believe what he says) and two weeks of me living with my parents. The friday before last, I cal...

NCLadybug · NCLadybug

My recovering AH needs coping skills. I could use some coping skills myself as the family member. Any ideas?

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I was shopping the other day and saw a card that read WHEN YOU HAVE MASTERED YOURSELF THEN YOU HAVE MASTERED LIFE. I bought the card and intended to give it to my sober ABF who is just coming out off avery big slip. However I have grown a lot the past couple of months and realised that ithis is what I ne...

defunk · defunk

I just stumbled upon this message board, and I'm just curious if anyone can help me, or guide me, and advise me. My boyfriend abuses roxies, we've had a few relapses within the span of our relationship. I kind of feel like he's addicted to me as well and doesn't want to be alone. It's as if he's trying to be t...

JAMIE74 · JAMIE74

So my AH got out of bed just long enough yesterday to go to his parents house for a family lunch and ended up having a big blow up in front of them. Seeing all this in the past his parents knew what was going on with him. They have been dealing with his alcoholism and drug addiction for 20 years. In and out of re...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Please help me to understand denial. It is one of the most frustrating things for me to deal with and I truly don't get it. Do you REALLY not believe that there is a problem with your drinking and do you not see the hurt and damage that you are doing to your family? Or is it done as a form of protection becau...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I've often heard the term acceptance thrown around the rooms of Al Anon. I thought I knew what acceptance was. I finally came to see it be exemplified in my own life just this past week. I finally realized that I do have acceptance. Awareness came easy, acceptance was hard, and now there's action. ...

debhud · debhud

my husband is an alcoholic. he has been sober for 2 years. i love him whether he is drinking or not drinking. he is an amazing man with a crappy disease. he does such nice things for me. we go to las vegas with my parents every year. he does this because he loves ME. he is gentle to the point of almost be...

Jackie11 · Jackie11

I am struggling this morning. I am blessed and thankful with the life that I have. My AH fixes dinner most nights. He works hard and I tell him often how much I appreciate him. The cooking, this point is making me miserable. You see 2 weeks ago he made bbq. I made my sandwich to my liking, piled with slaw (2 di...

TrudyS85 · TrudyS85

On my current journey, I keep thinking of something I heard on Oprah probably 20 years ago. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them!". Wow. So simple, so true. In looking back on my life I realize that often times, with my current AH, he kept showing me who he was: an alcoholic who...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

As I was working through my 4th step (and plan to go through it again soon) one resounding theme was how much I can lie to myself. When others lie to me I dont get bent out of shape but I do let them know Im aware. Sort of an I saw what you did there but no further discussion needed. Doing that with my kids crea...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Starting over again! (Preview) Went for a job interview today, won't hear anything till the end of the week, also called my daughter since I was down near her work, we went to lunch. And after I left her something popped in my head about a meeting, I had the pamplet in my purse and sure enough I was in the right place and the right time, I Mad...	sisdragonfly1957	3	491	Sep 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	Getting Them Sober... vol. 1 (Preview) wow...when the "Author's Foreward" describes and talkes about you completely...you know this has to be the right book for you!! Starting it now..thanks for the suggestion!!	Wanttohelp	2	500	Sep 24, 2012 by Icie
	My Kuleana - My Responsibility... (Preview) Kuleana is a cultural behavior for me. Koo lee ah nah is that part of my life where and when I am participating in my life and the lives of others. Okay this is not a Hawaiian language or cultural lesson; it is only a mention of how I arrived and the lessons given to me as a child thru my adult years and impo...	Jerry F	5	588	Sep 24, 2012 by tortuga
	It makes me mad! (Preview) After a full week as an all in member of Al-Anon in dealing with my compulsive liar investment partner from the old economy, I have been able to email that I am not interested in ANY promises, calendar dates of promises, forthcomings etc, but it makes me mad that I know it is the same as dealing with a lying...	denro	3	631	Sep 24, 2012 by denro
	Howdy Al Anon fam! (Preview) Just a quick update and check-in to say hi! I will have more time later this week to dig into the board and read what I missed the past few months. Can't wait! Missed the Al Anon wisdom and peace. I got back from basic training. It was tough. At 34, my body needed a bit more recovery time than was offered...	Dolly Llama	7	495	Sep 24, 2012 by Jerry F
	Praying for his bottom .. (Preview) While I know I need to keep the focus on me and the kids, is it wrong for me to pray for him to find his bottom? I'm just curious, I've decided I'm prepared for the God of my understanding to fully answer that question. Whatever that bottom is I'm prepared to watch as he hits and steer clear of the urge to fix...	Pushka	11	610	Sep 24, 2012 by Theoceancalls
	My Good Intentions Blown to Bits (Preview) I am so filled with understanding, love and compassion for my AH when we don't associate with each other. I so want to get through to him that I haven't given up on him and can still forgive everything and stand by him every step of the way if he were truly trying to fight his alcoholism but I can't wait forev...	WornOutMrsFixIt	6	1024	Sep 24, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Handling apologies/why was I angry (Preview) My AH apologized for his comments about the rapist thing. He has been very nice this week since I caught him in the middle of a relapse this weekend. I have withdrawn physically from him, not to punish him but basically because I just don't feel anything for him right now. I am being pleasant and we eve...	ilovedogs	7	568	Sep 24, 2012 by Icie
	new comer, lol (Preview) I have been reading post on this website for a month or so. And want to thank everyone for the stories, because they do help. Hmmm, how do I start, it is not crazy to me how I have ended up in the situation I am in. I am the child of an alcoholic, abuse as a child, married an alcoholic, was proud of my self after...	uscgmomma1028	11	712	Sep 23, 2012 by pinkchip
	How to deal with his family embarassing (Preview) Hi all! I've been lurking and reading for awhile. It has greatly helped me after my AH and his episodes. He's been going to AA meetings and seems to be wanting to work on his sobriety. Like everything else, there are good days and then horrible days. The question I have is how to deal with this situati...	Jsjjkelly	12	607	Sep 23, 2012 by Icie
	Don't understand how they can be so selfish! (Preview) I have been in this relationship for 7 years. We were friends first so I know how he was with his past girlfriends but never thought he would end up treating me the same way. How wrong I was! Our biggest arguement is I just want to spend time together but any time he has free he goes to the bar lately. Even...	Amemadchen	6	612	Sep 23, 2012 by nmike
	So lost (Preview) I am new here and would like to attend face to face meetings, but the scheduled meetings are at times and days that I cannot attend. So I figued this is better than nothing. So anyway, I have been dating someone for a little more than a year now, and we have had a very dramtic relationship filled with deep lo...	soldiermom	4	716	Sep 23, 2012 by nmike
	Looking For Advice (Preview) It's been sixteen years that I have been with my huband. He is an alcoholic. Until last night he had been sober for a little over two years. He came home last night after assuring me that he wasn't nor does he ever want to drink again DRUNK! I love this man with everything I have and I guess my question is shou...	LeahS	6	631	Sep 23, 2012 by Breakingfree
	I don't feel like I fit in (Preview) Ok, I am just going to throw some things out here that I have been struggling with. I have been in Alanon for over a year and I have just started doing step one. I have a sponsor and I think it is a good match but my problem is I am so shy to tell her my deepest feelings and thoughts. I am a very emotionally base...	willowtree	8	1071	Sep 23, 2012 by Icie
	I just want oatmeal with a smile for petes sake!!! (Preview) I can go along and feel fine, happy, puttering, hanging wash, watching funny stuff on netflix. No real concern. Then out of nowhere, back down I go. Gradually. RRRRRR I don't want excitement or always JOyful, just that comfy its ok feeling. Nothing has changed. Did I sleep funny, did I eat wrong? Did th...	Debilyn	4	352	Sep 23, 2012 by GailMichelle
	My attitude of gratitude (Preview) As I woke up this morning and had to fight my 4 year old out of bed to get us all up and to school I realized my attitude was in the wrong place. So here is my readjustment. I am appreciative for my 2 healthy beautiful children who bring me so much love and blessings everyday! I am so grateful for my friends who h...	Breakingfree	7	671	Sep 22, 2012 by DavidG
	ALANON TRADITION 11 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t50894344/tradition-11-alanon/	hotrod	2	2500	Sep 22, 2012 by david62
	Learning anew... (Preview) Hi y'all, This is a bit of a pity-party, but I hope I am learning from it. I grew up on a farm and it was a rich and vibrant place- all sorts of animals, fruit, hills and mountains; water too. There was something not quite right about my world and I found out more about that when i grew up. That was a shock at fors...	DavidG	5	507	Sep 22, 2012 by david62
	Meet Al...the 3rd person in the relationship (Preview) I am new to this board but after reading a few of the posts and saying to myself several times "whoa that sounds familar" I think I may have found the right place to be. I apologize if this first post is a bit long... In a nutshell... my partner is a recovering addict. We have known each other for o...	mcgee1962	3	594	Sep 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Six days into Al-Anon and I have Hope. (Preview) I have a compulsive liar for an investment partner that the lies have been making me miserable for the past few years. Whatever comes out of his mouth is not to be believed. He owes me money and I may get it and I may not get it. He will have to live with the consequences of his actions, though I really don't th...	denro	3	479	Sep 22, 2012 by hotrod
	it can & will get better! (Preview) My hope is that it will get better for me personally. I have been going back & forth w/ being in pain & recognizing why that the pain is getting me very moody. I have been resting--sleeping in a lot lately. Not a sign of depression though. I just need the extra rest lately. I have a lot of time on my ha...	Hoot Nanny	3	425	Sep 22, 2012 by Jerry F
	Getting Them Sober - How has it helped you?/Your favorite parts? (Preview) I've ordered the book and it's on its way! Very excited. Won't be here for a few weeks yet. Bummer. Can't wait to read it and put its advice to use. Those of you who have read it, what is your favorite parts? What did you find really helped you? I'd love to hear what you have to share since I just can't wait to re...	Freja	13	604	Sep 21, 2012 by glad lee
	Ghost from the past (Preview) Life has been a lot harder for me lately. After some soul searching, i have realized that i have hovered some serious issues that i have had with my first love from almost 20 years ago. I met him when, he had just been released from a halfway house. needless to say he was very emotionally abusive to me. i tri...	arasaxto	2	443	Sep 22, 2012 by arasaxto
	Moving Update (Preview) I interviewed, accepted the offer, and started my move. I have been here for two months. It is a big change for me after 24 years in the same place. I live with my 90 year old mother. I have to learn to get along with her because I never have gotten along with her. She was the major codependent with my alcoholi...	nmike	6	461	Sep 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Dealing with loneliness and depression from wife being gone Depressed lonely alone (Preview) My wife left to a 45 day in patient rehab 2 days ago. Before that she was in the hospital for a week detoxing. While I know that her getting clean is best in the long run I am struggling. We have been married for just over 2 years. Our twins are at her parents house till she gets out of rehab and I find myself in a h...	Higgins335	12	6174	Sep 22, 2012 by Higgins335
	if your spouce is an alcoholic does that mean the other partner can't drink? (Preview) my husband is a recovering alcoholic. his problem is occasional, unpredictable binge drinking episodes that have let to DWI's and his dissapearance for a night at a time. he never drank daily or regularly, only weekends or random days when he "couldn't hold it in anymore and needed to upload st...	1234567890	8	721	Sep 22, 2012 by Jerry F
	Some Good News (Preview) Recently, I had a day in court and I felt I'd done a good job of representing myself. Unfortunately, the outcome didn't change. I have a very big payment to make. I had my year end review at work and even though I felt I'd performed the duties of my job well, I was worried. At my last workplace, there was...	tiredtonite	12	525	Sep 22, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Why Is This Ticking Me Off (Preview) AH just got out of rehab, is staying with his parents, all thru treatment kept telling me what an angel I am and how much he wants to work on saving our marriage THEN he doesn't even call me today when he gets out of the rehab center and the first thing he does is post on Facebook that "I'm BACK, Seperate...	TrudyS85	5	555	Sep 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	pity party (Preview) I've been sick since yesterday. I've been staying in bed except to feed the dogs, use the bathroom, and refill my juice and water glasses. I want someone to make me soup and bring it to me. Someone to tuck the blankets around me so I'll stay warm. Someone to hold my hand and tell me I'll feel better tomorrow...	pineapple	14	542	Sep 22, 2012 by Debilyn
	A cry for help, How do I help him!!!!! (Preview) Where do I begin, I've been with my AH for over 11 years, married for 7. He has a 16 year old daughter that I love dearly. He comes from a different Country and have seen much devastation in his life. He's always been a loner and have abandonment issues. He's a smart educated man with a great job BUT He's alwa...	Praying wife	11	699	Sep 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How to practice detachment if he treats you with contempt? (Preview) Hi there. I'm new to this group. I live in a country where we don't have Al Anon, so I didn't know where else to turn. I apologize if this first post is rambling and incoherent. I'll try to keep it short. For the past few years I've been living with a man who's had a long-term struggle with alcohol. I don't t...	batcheat	7	1954	Sep 21, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Need a major change (Preview) As some of you know, my AH has been in rehab for almost 2 months now. Due to the nature of his business (restaurant/bar) he will have to make a major change once he gets out of rehab. His councellor has agreed that although big changes at this stage are unadvisable, his situation requires it. His family ar...	Kismet	0	337	Sep 21, 2012 by Kismet
	Soldier looking for AA meetings. (Preview) I apologize if i am posting in the wrong area but i have looked everywhere. I am a soldier stationed on Fort Riley, Kansas and I need to find AA meetings near me, preferably in junction city or topeka. Again i am really sorry if i am posting in the wrong place i have just looked everywhere. Im desperate at th...	Bodycount02	6	3372	Sep 21, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Replacing the what if...... (Preview) Just wanted to share something im quite new on here so first time Ive shared on here!! Here goes, I have had a really trying day today, all emotions good and bad, but it was great just to be able to use some of my alanon tools to get me through the day. I remembered that its ok, i will feel things good and bad, t...	Zimmy	5	368	Sep 21, 2012 by Zimmy
	"Call Me When You're Sober" Video (Preview) Heard this song on the way home from work but heard it in a new way since the latest events in my life. I'm sure a lot of you will relate too.	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	475	Sep 21, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	Al-anon Question.. is it just about learning to deal with it? (Preview) Hello, Im really new to this, i just posted my story and right now i feel very...empowered. I have finally been able to detach from the things my husband has done and how it makes me feel. But i have a question, while i think having and hearing peoples stories helps when struggling through this process is...	A_Shu108	5	644	Sep 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	Stepping off the wheel (Preview) When I posted Tuesday I was so frustrated!!! I was also experiencing various shades of anger. I had signed up for the program for my meeting on Tuesday and was praying about the topic. I felt like anger would be a good one. As I was reading through the readings in One Day at a Time and Courage to Change 2 read...	Jackie11	5	481	Sep 21, 2012 by pinkchip
	How to deal with Dad? (Preview) I'm relatively new here...was active about a year ago when my DH went to rehab for an opiate addiction. Everyone was so helpful and supportive. Although he's almost a year clean, I'm back for advice on dealing with my dad... My father, before my sister and I were born, abused MANY things...alcohol, ga...	Golightly24	2	338	Sep 21, 2012 by Icie
	Is this me being spiteful or is it the right thing to do? (Preview) So my AH has relapsed yet again and is currently living with his mother, sister, brother in law, and nephew. My mother in law supports all of them on what little savings she has left, and AH uses whatever cash he has to buy his vodka. He refuses to take phone calls from anyone, answer emails, or anything...	holivex	8	597	Sep 21, 2012 by Debilyn
	Detatchment (Preview) Finally. I detatched myself from my husband and am currently separated. I could not be happier with my decision for my own well being. I struggled a lot thinking I couldn't do it on my own but I picked up the pieces and I have been. I am so proud of myself. I feel happy, healthy and strong. My only issue is wi...	_heather_	2	339	Sep 21, 2012 by _heather_
	Manipulation in full swing (Preview) My husband moved back to our state last week. We have been seperated by 700 miles for the past 5 months. He told me the reason he was moving back to our state was to be able to see his daughter. I guess that was a lie...which he admitted tonight. I took my daughter to see her daddy last weekend. I gues...	dragonflys	9	621	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Finding serenity Amongst craziness (Preview) Anyone of you could be married to my alcoholic son, who has broken my heart over & over & has hurt his children over & over & his ex wife. His wife finally left him & divorced him, but she has never gone to AL anon so all the craziness continues, between them over the kids & one tryi...	Icie	4	505	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	His addiction has finally WON! (Preview) After 11 years I feel like I have been beaten by this diease. I am giving up. I Have no where to go, no money, he has MY car all the time now. I am just giving up...... I see no way out. i have burnt all my bridges with my family. I have no friends. I can see that is is keeping me isolated. He is so sneaky, narrastic....	sisdragonfly1957	12	651	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	Understanding how it all works (Preview) I am new to all this and am really having a tough time figuring it all out. I know it's going to take time and meetings and my HP. But my confusion at the moment is the difference between detachment and just not caring or is it the same thing. Am I not supposed to care when he puts down me or my son? Am I not supp...	JAMIE74	5	613	Sep 20, 2012 by orchidlover
	God is great (Preview) Hope I didn't scare anyone off with the title of this subject...I know we are all connected to our higher powers in different ways and levels. I have to say I have seen his hand so powerfully in my life in recent months that it is overwhelming. I think back to last summer, when I never knew what I would come h...	usedtobeanyer	7	481	Sep 20, 2012 by Pushka
	This is interesting. Wondering if anyone else has heard this one??? (Preview) My ABF Texts me today and tells me he got locked out of his car today after he had his tooth extracted because he blew positive for alcohol? and the reason for that was the novocaine? HUH? I'm not sure I understand but..ahhh okay. Now he has to go to the place that does the breathalizer on his vehicle a...	lovestoread	6	603	Sep 20, 2012 by Icie
	My recovery (slippery slope) (Preview) I have made great strides and slipped and forged ahead and I felt another slip here recently. I am now more aware of myself than I have ever been. I thought I was magically cured and forgot this is a process and if I stop working my program I will backslide. It was a great reminder and onward I am going. I stil...	Breakingfree	7	563	Sep 20, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New here...Need to stay "focus" (Preview) Hey there... I decided I needed a group to help me stay focused and discuss my thoughts and hear how others are dealing with this crazy thing we call "addiction" I am married to a man who is no doubt an alcoholic. He is a Binge drinker, the type that doesnt drink a lick all week but feels entitled...	A_Shu108	2	361	Sep 20, 2012 by hotrod
	Angry at his family (Preview) I am so angry I hardly know where to begin. My AH has been in business with his family for the past 20 years; they are all co-owners of a restaurant/pub. The setup and environment has always been toxic to the sons, my husband's brother was going down a bad road with drugs until he met his wife 8 years ago and h...	Kismet	7	571	Sep 19, 2012 by WorkingThroughIt
	The daily sea-saw! (Preview) Hello everybody! It's been a while since I've been on to read or post anything on these boards but here is an update and maybe you all can give me some advice. Today marks two weeks that my AH hasn't drank (if I am to believe what he says) and two weeks of me living with my parents. The friday before last, I cal...	Inuyami	4	575	Sep 19, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	coping skills (Preview) My recovering AH needs coping skills. I could use some coping skills myself as the family member. Any ideas?	NCLadybug	3	959	Sep 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	a card for myself (Preview) Hi all, I was shopping the other day and saw a card that read WHEN YOU HAVE MASTERED YOURSELF THEN YOU HAVE MASTERED LIFE. I bought the card and intended to give it to my sober ABF who is just coming out off avery big slip. However I have grown a lot the past couple of months and realised that ithis is what I ne...	Tracy	5	429	Sep 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Dating and Recovery (Preview) I just stumbled upon this message board, and I'm just curious if anyone can help me, or guide me, and advise me. My boyfriend abuses roxies, we've had a few relapses within the span of our relationship. I kind of feel like he's addicted to me as well and doesn't want to be alone. It's as if he's trying to be t...	defunk	3	361	Sep 19, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Parents involved now...good or bad? (Preview) So my AH got out of bed just long enough yesterday to go to his parents house for a family lunch and ended up having a big blow up in front of them. Seeing all this in the past his parents knew what was going on with him. They have been dealing with his alcoholism and drug addiction for 20 years. In and out of re...	JAMIE74	9	597	Sep 19, 2012 by JAMIE74
	Question for Recovering Alcoholics (Preview) Please help me to understand denial. It is one of the most frustrating things for me to deal with and I truly don't get it. Do you REALLY not believe that there is a problem with your drinking and do you not see the hurt and damage that you are doing to your family? Or is it done as a form of protection becau...	WornOutMrsFixIt	5	703	Sep 19, 2012 by lovestoread
	Acceptance (Preview) I've often heard the term acceptance thrown around the rooms of Al Anon. I thought I knew what acceptance was. I finally came to see it be exemplified in my own life just this past week. I finally realized that I do have acceptance. Awareness came easy, acceptance was hard, and now there's action. ...	ilovedogs	7	594	Sep 19, 2012 by glad lee
	feeling very blessed tonight.... (Preview) my husband is an alcoholic. he has been sober for 2 years. i love him whether he is drinking or not drinking. he is an amazing man with a crappy disease. he does such nice things for me. we go to las vegas with my parents every year. he does this because he loves ME. he is gentle to the point of almost be...	debhud	2	269	Sep 19, 2012 by Zimmy
	How do I get off the wheel? (Preview) I am struggling this morning. I am blessed and thankful with the life that I have. My AH fixes dinner most nights. He works hard and I tell him often how much I appreciate him. The cooking, this point is making me miserable. You see 2 weeks ago he made bbq. I made my sandwich to my liking, piled with slaw (2 di...	Jackie11	7	558	Sep 19, 2012 by Zimmy
	When Someone Shows You Who They Are (Preview) On my current journey, I keep thinking of something I heard on Oprah probably 20 years ago. "When someone shows you who they are, believe them!". Wow. So simple, so true. In looking back on my life I realize that often times, with my current AH, he kept showing me who he was: an alcoholic who...	TrudyS85	4	591	Sep 18, 2012 by glad lee
	Acceptance and self honesty (Preview) As I was working through my 4th step (and plan to go through it again soon) one resounding theme was how much I can lie to myself. When others lie to me I dont get bent out of shape but I do let them know Im aware. Sort of an I saw what you did there but no further discussion needed. Doing that with my kids crea...	AStrongerMe	4	508	Sep 19, 2012 by AStrongerMe
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.