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Just Sharing the Lessons Learned
(Preview)
First off, I would like to apologize to the membership for my last post, a few weeks ago, thatconcerned the effects of alcohol on a persons estrogen levels, it was off topic, controversialand did not abide by Al-Anon Tradition Ten. Lesson #1 learned.Also by apologizing to you all, I am continuing my...
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Debb
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5
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344
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Well .. LOL
(Preview)
Well, it has come to fruition that I will be moving as long as all goes well. I'm afraid that the XAH is going to make this hard on me. I am asking for some serious prayers. He has already agreed to it verbally and in front of the kids. However once again we have court on Tuesday. I am in the middle of movi...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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392
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JULY4TH DOMESTIC ABUSE 1 YR AGO
(Preview)
IT IS EXACTLY 1 YR ON JULY 4TH THAT MY AH ABUSED ME PHYSICALLY. WE CHOSE TO GET AWAY TO THE CASINO[WHAT A STUPID CHOICE]. AH DIDNT HAVE HIS CAR OR LISCENSE SO AN AQUAINTANCE DROVE US THERE. JULY 4TH AH SPENT GETTING TOALLY WASTED!!! CASINOS DONT CARE,JUST GIVE OUT THE BOOZE AS LONG AS U GAMBLE. AROUND 8PM, A...
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YARNCRAZY
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4
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434
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Happy 4th of July!
(Preview)
To all MIP Friends & Family - While the 4th of July is typically a USA holiday, I am still wishing everyone a safe and happy joy-filled day! I am grateful for all of you and for the world we live in which allows us the freedom we need to be all we can be. For those in the USA - happy 4th! Make it a great day eve...
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Iamhere
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3
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340
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Gaining my Independence on Independence Day
(Preview)
Here alone. Everyone's out drinking. Fighting depression. Just had to jump on to go through the exercise of writing down what I keep telling myself. I chose not to go to the party. My choice. I can choose to be happy. I can choose serenity. I can declare independence from her disease and mine. I can...
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almostThere
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5
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368
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Losing my independence on Independence Day
(Preview)
July 4th 2008 I married my ex-AH - lost my independence, just about lost my mind. I remember when he asked me to marry him, I knew what he was up to and what he was going to do and in my mind I'm screaming NO! but I said yes - why? I think because I didn't want to lose him, he would have ended the relationship (luck...
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likemyheart
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4
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379
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Did AA make him too selfish?
(Preview)
I am dating a guy 16 yrs older than me who has been through AA and sober for 29 yrs. We have talked about his recovery and he has explained to me how they taught him that you have to put yourself first. This is a hard concept for me to understand completely. He admits it seems selfish and he explained that in or...
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catlover26
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7
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651
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WHY
(Preview)
My ah has relapsed again after 3 months. He went to an 30 day recovery in dec slipped in April and now he has done it again. I haven't told him I know. He has this great job that even paid him to go to rehab and will promote him soon and it is all going to blow up and I get to witness it. I work with him as well and our b...
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Helpangel
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5
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473
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12 Tradition
(Preview)
The 12th tradition has been posted to the step work board How The Twelve Steps and 12 Tradtions Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Traditions and 12 Steps of recovery together! Here is a link. Please join us...
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hotrod
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0
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171
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C2C 7-3
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 3rd is a reminder of the importance of alanon meetings. It points out that HP works through each alanon group and( I believe here at MIP) and that each person gets what he needs from the meetings. It goes on the explains that we do not know what is best for others so that...
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hotrod
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3
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316
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Looking for Help/worksheets for Step 2
(Preview)
I have looked at the Step Work Board but there doesn't seem to be a lot of activity there in what I am looking for. I can't afford to buy any of the books now so I am looking for some kind of questions/worksheets that I can do on my own. I attend the local meetings but I think this would also be very beneficial to...
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catlover26
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3
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417
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My Biggest Challenge - Trusting My HP
(Preview)
Yesterday marked 8 months since I walked into the rooms of AlAnon ready to find my own recovery. I have spent a lot of time bouncing back and forth between steps 2 & 3 primarly because I have such a difficult time putting all of my faith in my HP. I had been making remarkable headway in the past couple...
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Dave2554
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5
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520
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Alanon relapse
(Preview)
Is wat I call a just about gonna be a full blown alanon relapse not s ip wished it were a slip ....falling right back into bad relationships gonna get hurt I'm my thinking is just that I'm setting my self up for another set back just haven't let him move in my home I pray I do t fall into that situation again,...
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lookingup
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4
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396
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Yay!!! Gross Mess!!!!
(Preview)
A called me earlier and he was extremely drunk. Full moon and all; he's always really, really bad around this time. And it was a horrible experience; he was so drunk as to be making growling noises etc, the kind of drunk that used to end up in very bad things or me sleeping with kid and pets in the car somewhe...
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missmeliss
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9
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624
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Ist night at apt
(Preview)
Well i finally moved and slept at my new apt last night. I have loads of bags and boxes it will get better tonight when i get home and try to put it more to right. It will take time. I have friday off during the daytime so hope i can focus better and take care of me and my life now. It is a strange feeling not sur...
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Mirandac
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18
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666
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Best laid plans...
(Preview)
I got a notice last Friday to say I had a registered letter to collect from the post office. Now to me, registered letter means something very bad- an eviction notice, legal action, notification of something very unpleasant or another. So I grumbled about it all weekend and thought up a million terrib...
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missmeliss
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7
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393
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the move
(Preview)
Well, I have moved into my new place and of course evil landlady stayed true to herself and said there was so much damage she was keeping all of my deposit.She said we broke ceiling fans???Really, I hate the sound of a ceiling fan and I don't even use them.There was a spring thunderstorm that caught my sto...
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mjferg
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1
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297
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Program Tools are Working!
(Preview)
Wednesdays are LONG days. 8 hrs at one job, 4 hrs at another, CSA pick-up at a farm an hour away from work, and my usual commute. AW called while I was at the second job several times. I saw the string of missed calls when I got to the car, and thought something was wrong. (After four years at this business in o...
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Skorpi
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4
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433
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Struggling with a Friend...
(Preview)
Hello Family... I'm having an Issue with a Program Friend... They are Going thru a Whirl Wind of things Currently and I am Doing my Best to be there for them, and Listen, and Encourage them to Work their Program, but all I Get is the Same Day after Day, and It is Really Killing My Spirituality to the Point wh...
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Jozie
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5
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486
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Big ball of stress
(Preview)
Hi all long time no post :) AH is on holidays for two weeks with the kids and I and I am barely functioning due to anxiety. I can barely be around him and don't feel like doing anything other then being a hermit and crawling into bed for the entire time. He bought booze for himself and me even though I've told h...
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tweety23
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2
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374
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UGH, XAH.....
(Preview)
So, my 16 year old son gets text messages this AM from a girl named Ashley. Apparently, his dad (XAH) was at Ashley's last night and left his phone there. So she messaged my son and figured out that my son was a family contact and they were discussing how to get the phone back to my X. My son was frustrated...
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andromeda
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8
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514
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insanity at its best
(Preview)
I have been dealing with alcoholic bf for a year now and his behaviors are getting worse. Monday night he was out drinking at home and drove me mad with his non stop talking about what ever crosses his sick mind. I finally said at 11 pm I am going to bed, I have things to do in morning. He says I am going to bar,...
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joker
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8
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559
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Serenity, Acceptance, Courage, Wisdom
(Preview)
it isn't every day you get to be somebody's hero. As I was driving my bus home in 100+ degree weather, I passed a car broke down on the side of the road. My assumption based on what I saw was it looked like (get the vagueness here?) three or so young adult males broke down. It being 100+ hot outside, I parked my...
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likemyheart
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4
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578
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Wow what a life!!
(Preview)
10:10 PM last evening my house started to rock and roll and no it wasn't because the alcoholic/addict found her way back after 30 years of drinking and drugging. I don't have one of those anymore. It was a 5.2 force earthquake just out of town and just off shore and just under the landscape. You can n...
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Jerry F
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12
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650
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Friend's attitude got me thinking
(Preview)
Every time I go away for the day, I know he will have been drinking when I come home. He does not get falling down drunk YET but it is getting worse again. I know that much of the way he interacts with other men involves drinking. Having a social drink is important to him.The problem is that they, for the most...
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deacon
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14
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605
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C2C 7-2
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 2 is an important reminder of the power of Al-Anon to change many of my destructive behaviors. The reading points out that "procrastination" is a source of a great deal of needless anxiety. It then goes on to suggest a sure fire way to address the habit of postpo...
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hotrod
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1
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301
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What do you need?
(Preview)
This question is possibly the most dangerous ever asked by AH and my counselor. The question I can't let myself think about too long....yet it nags at the surface whether I want it to or not. What I need is simple, and yet so profound and far away from here. I need to see red flags faster. I need to use my voi...
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LedfootJenny
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6
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586
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any successful stories after separating from your loved one
(Preview)
Hello! I don't know if anybody posted this before... But I was wondering if you guys know anybody or has been through separation with your loved one without communication that was successful in the end. What made you be strong and what steps did you take? Thank you!
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needguidance
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9
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706
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C2C reading 7-1
(Preview)
The C2C reading for July 1 is extremely important. It points out that when we enter the rooms of Al-Anon, we have lost much of our self-esteem and feel full of self-pity and resentment. Living with the disease of alcoholism we have been harshly criticized by others,lost our perspective on the situat...
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hotrod
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2
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392
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I didn't handle myself too well.
(Preview)
I have had a rough couple of days back with my AH and his weekly benders. We are also in the middle of remodeling our home, so that adds a new dimension of stress. I got home from working all day and an hour at the gym and baking in the 102 degree weather outside, to find that the bender continues. AH is slur...
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Bethany66
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5
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575
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HP making me nervous...
(Preview)
and I had to ask "There's gotta be something You're needing in return". I'm silent and listening and will report what I'm directed to do. I was outside getting messy and trying no to make it catastrophic when my phone went off...my wife...I knew she was going to spend time with a sponsee...
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Jerry F
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3
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375
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Huge Slip!
(Preview)
What I'm about to share was not just a slip, it was a long slide crash and burn for me surrounded by some very sad circumstances. On Tuesday Dad who was 82 was killed in a car accident. He is in Heaven, I'm sure of that. I feel really good for him, I am sad for me. Dad and I did not agree on many things but some...
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glad
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6
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520
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So Angry
(Preview)
My dad has been alcohol-free for five weeks. He's also been in the hospital for that time. He attempted to do rehab last month and it seemed to uncover or exacerbate the neurological damage his drinking had caused. Five weeks ago, he walked into rehab under his own power. Now, he can't walk and if he's no...
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Mikhail
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8
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585
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I'm not a Codependent
(Preview)
I am not a codependent Since I know what's best for you! Without ME you might hurt yourself And then what would you do! No, I'm not codependent I just hate to see you hurt You say you have a headache? I'll call in "Sick" for you at work! I do enjoy the Theater And tennis is my game But not today, I...
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Beatrice
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13
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1018
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Looking for feedback from fellow members
(Preview)
Hello all! My wife and I recently found out her father was a phantom alcoholic from her mother. This all came about after he had fallen after driving to a store and needed to seek hospital treatment which uncovered a super high BAC. My MIL has been to al anon meetings but the advice she took from it was that...
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backcountry
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28
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1002
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ODAT 6-29 We Share This in Common w/the Alcoholic...
(Preview)
...Self-deception. Today's page suggests that it is a natural tendency for all humans to omit our less flattering views and behaviors when presenting ourselves or our story to others. This is in evidence for some when we first arrive to AlAnon and share the unpleasantries that came at the hand of th...
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Enigmatic
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6
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456
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my dis-ease today
(Preview)
It seems this insidious disease is always with me. I wont ever be completely free from the effects of alcoholism, or will i? I dont know. The shortcomings that are strong in my life right now and act as a barrier to my serenity are impulsiveness and impatience. it seems i want what i want and i want it now an...
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el-cee
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5
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552
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C2C Reading 6-29
(Preview)
The C2C reading for June 29 speaks about the fact that Al-Anon is a spiritual program based on no particular religion, and no religious beliefs is required.. It points out that this freedom is extremely important because spirituality does not have to imply a particular philosophy or moral code; it...
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hotrod
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5
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455
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Hope For Today June 30
(Preview)
Good morning everyone- Today's reading is about how futile it is to expect from the outside (with another person, job, home, etc) happiness we are looking for on the inside. Happiness comes from the work we do in the program and our relationship with our HP. At one time I remember struggling with a pa...
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yanksfan51
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3
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451
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taking it 30 minutes at a time
(Preview)
I drove down to my hometown yesterday because my best friends were having a birthday party. They invited me to stay at their home. And I helped them prepare for the party. We had a great time yesterday and today chatting and just joking around and laughing. An hour after the party started an ex friend sho...
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texasgal
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11
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543
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Made it :)
(Preview)
Here I am back in beautiful California and very glad to be! Saying it was an adventure is only part of it .. lol. I did discover a few tricks .. if you ever want to sit with someone especially a child just ask loudly on a crowded plane if they can locate the air sick bag we don't want a repeat of the last time we...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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769
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When Man Listens...God Speaks #2
(Preview)
I posted about what was happening here locally up on Mauna Kea. I'm sorry I felt strange doing that because of our traditions and then instead of erasing it I let it stand because we are family and today I can trust. I came back later and read your caring responses...always caring and I got weepy beca...
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Jerry F
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6
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664
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C2C 6-28
(Preview)
C2C Reading for today 6-28 speaks about keeping the focus on ourselves and not wasting our life worrying about another's behavior and actions. It points out that life is too short for us to allow our happiness to be dependent on another's actions.The time for us to seek recovery is NOW regardless...
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hotrod
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10
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535
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Dealing with the hate and disdain
(Preview)
My A and I have had a lot of problems, especially with our relationship in the last two years. Though sometimes we work at it, the disease does get in the way. But more than that, its the honesty of the relationship by and large that has taken the greatest hit. And I feel more than ever, if I dont do every...
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gabigail
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5
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929
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My widowed freind
(Preview)
I have a life long widowed freind that just lost a good husband of 14 yrs I've been staying with her for days off and on helping her then I told her I had to go home she got mad I thought cause she said well you want to go home right now I said jan I've got a home to and business to take care of so she finally hugged m...
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lookingup
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6
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516
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selling your contentment cheaply
(Preview)
Todays odat is a good one. It talks about how we can actually relish our own suffering, kind of enjoy it and we can blow up everything into huge proportions. We love been self pitiers and actively search out our martyrdom. Then we get serenity and contentment and we become freer. We need yo be good to ours...
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el-cee
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6
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563
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The Court that never ends
(Preview)
and I'm highly irritated .. enough to do something stupid which is why I'm sooooo glad I have alanon because if I didn't oi it would be bad. Turns out I heard from my atty and there is yet another delay to which I'm calling BS on .. thanks to alanon it reminded me to reach out to someone else and gain some pers...
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SerenityRUS
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4
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561
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Belated "Fathers Day" event - suggestions appreciated
(Preview)
Hi MiP friends, I need a bit of "encouragement" here ....and a few suggestions would not cause offense..lol Many here know my AH has been drinking since age 10, but is in recovery right now. He is a little over 2 1/2 months working a program and seems to be working it well, attending meeting...
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Doingmybest
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11
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503
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Toxic person
(Preview)
I was just reading a great blog on toxic people basically just get away and stay away. Do not take it personal. i try to figure out the whys of my ah behaviors in the last 15 years and i drive myself nuts. He has been dry for 30 years. We had what seemed like 15 good years Together then wham big changes in his a...
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Mirandac
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8
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571
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lifes magnificent boulevard
(Preview)
That's how courage to change described it today. Don't you think that is brilliant? Just had to highlight that today. I want to make sure my journey s good from here on in.x
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el-cee
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3
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414
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My Sober Guy
(Preview)
My husband has been sober for about two weeks now. This is the longest he's gone without drinking in at least 20 years. He's seeing a substance abuse counselor individually 1x per week and is attending group counseling three evenings per week. He has not started AA yet, but it's his recovery and I'm...
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Smiley99
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13
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745
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C2C 6-27
(Preview)
C2C reading for 6-27 talks about the importance of sponsoring and the fact that being a sponsor is as much a commitment to ourselves as it is to the person we have agreed to sponsor. The reading points out that often we are fearful when we are asked to sponsor another, however, we should remind our...
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hotrod
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1
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348
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Birthday deja vu
(Preview)
I've mentioned before that my A and I share a birthday and that every year has been a miserable disaster where we make plans and then instead he gets drunk and I cry and we stay home. So this year he has been announcing grand plans to have a special night together and I was getting excited about it. We chose a...
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missmeliss
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2
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436
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Who I can and cannot talk too
(Preview)
When my AH was first arrested for public intoxication - while with our three children - I spoke with his father. We talked about our mutual concernand support for AH. I felt that he was a good resource because his first wife - my AH's mother - was an alcoholic. A few days later when my AH spoke, I didnt kee...
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EarlyBird
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17
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786
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Ex MIL
(Preview)
Well ex MIL and i had words today. She said she was sorry about the divorce and understood she has been there Herself. i said yes i was doing fine and now i no longer had to deal with his alcoholism. It is not on me anymore! i did not stop what i was doing and went back in the house to scream after she left. S...
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Mirandac
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12
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936
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alcoholic is insane
(Preview)
I had to post this as the weekend is coming up and the alcoholic bf will be drinking tomorrow morning (works nights shifts) and I have to set up a plan to not listen to his insane talking and plans. I has plans in November to take out his RRSP and travel the world preaching the word of god and saving people. He...
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joker
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6
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489
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C2C 6-26
(Preview)
The C2C reading for 6-26 speaks about" forgiveness". It points out that when we first enter Al-Anon we are filled with bitterness towards many people in our lives. That after attending meetings for a while, keeping an open mind and listening to learn, we finally learn to keep the focus on o...
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hotrod
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5
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534
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Assets are hard
(Preview)
Assets are really hard to do. I was really surprised when I caught up with my old AA buddy recently and we were "talking program" and he told me he just doesn't do assets. After 30+ years, really? He finds it too uncomfortable. Gratitude is easy; assets are really hard. But I still do them; it'...
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missmeliss
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15
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797
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the power of change
(Preview)
It was just eight months ago when I started this program.First,I decided,in my despair,that I no longer wanted to live the way I was living.Living with an alcoholic had left me devastated.I cried myself to sleep,woke up in the night filled with panic, and thought of suicide.I picked up the phone and c...
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mjferg
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3
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351
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We're back......vacation update...
(Preview)
Hi my MIP friends......we're back!!! For those wondering, the vacation was lovely! It wa SO nice to be able to relax and let someone else drive (it's been 20 years) and to spend time with my wonderful family doing exactly what we wanted, for as long as we wanted, and to be able to relax and do nothing if we...
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Doingmybest
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2
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516
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