The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Big hugs.
I know how overwhelming it must be right now.
Sending you hugs and good vibes!!!
(((Mirandac)))
__________________
If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? (Lewis Caroll)
Good Work Mirandac. You had the "Courage to Change" . By continuing to trust the process, staying in the moment, doing the next right thing you will discover the serenity , courage and wisdom to continue to build a beautiful life.
Thank you both i am trying. I know soon
I will feel like a totally free woman when
I get settled in and relax a bit. Much to
Collect and do to get there. One day to
A time.
Congrats. to you on making the change! It's all yours - to do and not do with as you wish! Embrace the new home and be proud of you for having the courage to make the changes in your life for you to be you.
One day at a time, one moment at a time - you are home!! Breathe!!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you both! I went shopping today for some basic
Household stuff I needed. I plan on finding new and
different items at Yard Sales and thrift shops and new
where needed. I have some Big items to buy so i need to
go easy.
I feel better today. It was that constant being around or
Near each other. There was no healing only emotional
Pain. I hope to go a long time before i see him again.
I sent him an email today i forgot to give him my mailing
Address for financial reasons. That felt good i even said
give the cat a kiss and A hug from me and that i missed
the cat. He never responds back unless he feels the need
to defend Himself.
Nice to hear you are moving on and working through things on your own. Having been there done that recently, I can totally relate. May you find the healing you need and I pray you enjoy your peaceful new place!
__________________
Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
Thank you Bonnie. I pray for inner
Peace and serenity.
My head is clearing from the fog Which
is a good sign i am still anxious and jittery
so Not too relaxed yet but i am patient
And gentle with myself. It will take time
To get there.
Sounds like a productive first day. I am proud of you for sending the email and not engaging.
Breathe and enjoy the peace! You deserve it!
Keep loving you and it will all be OK...(((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks iamhere. I had to go onto an island today by ferry
To work she let me go a couple hours early. I asked she
Had plenty of help. Yahoo!
I am Just getting ready for bed and i have made a dent.
I basically Just threw my stuff in here. No time to dejunk
And get this place ready too.
I try not to engage xah i am the one that gets hurt by his
Attitude. He will not be held accountable and has no remorse.
Money, resentments or anger are the only things he thinks
Of when he thinks about me. How very sad to be like that.
And how wonderful that you are in the new place and making progress in unpacking and making it truly your own! I am sure you will be enjoying the peace of living in your new place very soon.
(((hugs)))
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you skorpi. This morning i asked myself if i
Felt at peace and i guess i do. I do not feel alcoholism
Snapping at my heels. Its the insanity that is so hard
To accept and deal with.
It feels good to be away from what the disease was doing
to me. I think, I was going slowly insane too. I will pray
For him thats all i can do.
I have done a lot of the hard work and i know i am strong.
Now to get on with my life without carrying his baggage
Along with my own.
(((Mirandac))) - I hear you on the sad for his view of the world, but what a gift we have in Al-Anon to know that we can move on and have a lovely life no matter what anyone else is doing! I can relate to the completely self-centered responses/action of As - if there isn't a 'reward', there is no effort here. It's a strange way to live and I choose to no longer be a part of that, just as you have.
Glad you made a dent! You will get threw this - you are strong and you have great tools/program to support you.
Have a marvelous day!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I too had to move out of our house with the first A in my life. I stayed in the house until it sold and then moved to an apartment (2 bedrooms, and one that I could have my dog Pudgie with me). It takes time to remember to go to your new home, instead of the other one; it takes time knowing hey I don't have to ask him for anything, I can come and go as I please and that I have made it. But, in reality it will take some time getting use to it.
Just remember 1 day at a time, 1 minute, or 1 second at a time.
You have done an amazing job. I know you will hurt but it will lessen in time.
Actually living in the apartment and being gone from The marital home is easier than living there. This is Less hurtful and less reminders of our life together. I just need to make it my home and start to relax a bit.
Its a nice unit second floor so it gets warm plus two Skylights but has Air conditioning otherwise a nice little home, nice quiet Neighborhood. I need to meet my New Neighbors can not really see them. Out front is Commercial but my apt entrance is on side street.
I receive so much support from people it amazes Me. I still just shake my head over the way things turned out. None of it makes sense or is rational. I am so grateful for alanon and the time i spent grieving my lost dreams and life.
-- Edited by Mirandac on Friday 3rd of July 2015 07:10:55 AM
-- Edited by Mirandac on Friday 3rd of July 2015 07:13:22 AM
So glad that you're looking forward with your program and new home! My hope for you for today is that it's a better day than the last and you are blessed!
Keep us posted and enjoy the peace/quiet!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Change is always hard, but when needed, the worry and stress go away quickly. That doesn't mean you won't be grieving your relationship, lost dreams, etc, but you will be able to do it with your own terms and not with constant, distracting crisis all around.
Thank you both. Yes change is hard and its not easy
To let go of what you thought you had And what was
no Longer working or healthy anymore.
I was finding it hard to stop worrying and being a
wife and partner it was deep inside of me. I think
It will be easier to truly move on and let go now
That i am away from him and the Hold he has
Over me.
It Brings tears just thinking about this stuff It is
so deep down. My marital bond is still very strong
That will take me more time. I found the harder i
Try to force things the more i suffer so i just let it
Go till it is time to go away.
