Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

pinkchip · pinkchip

I choose to write this due to seeing a few exasperated new members here asking themselves this question. The reasons I am about to list are an accumulation of things I've heard in alanon over the years, stuff I've seen from working in treatment/rehab, and my own experience of having had a long relation...

LinSC · LinSC

1. So what is this blame thing about, the alcoholic/addict always wants to blame everyone else for their sorrows? 2. And what should be our response to this verbally and otherwise? I was married to a dry alcoholic and he was always blaming everyone else for his situation, he blamed the government, t...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C discusses tradition 5 which helps us set 3 goals- to work the steps, to have compassion for those suffering from alcoholism and to have compassion for others in the al-anon program. It points out how much love is involved in these goals/actions- working the steps is a huge act of love for ou...

a4l · a4l

So im trying to find the courage to call a womens shelter and it's not coming. I can't face the idea of carting three kids to a sharehouse and being in limbo. But this house is hell on earth. I just can't take the mental and emotional abuse anymore: physically I know i can take care of myself and my kids. No fe...

Joxci · Joxci

Hi all, I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm being supportive of my boyfriend or enabling him to lie to me. The abbreviated version is he lied to me about something stupid, then lied about why he lied. Now I'm agonizing over the decision to go visit him on Sunday, since he only gets one visitation day per...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So my AH has stopped drinking for 17 days. He did this on his own. He does not think he needs help with it. He says if he wanted a beer he would go drink one. He also told me a week or so ago that he was going to have a drink on his birthday (Feb. 9). I almost feel like he thinks he is rewarding himself for not dri...

lizbots1 · lizbots1

my husband just came out of rehab , we are trying to be together he showed me the aa book i found the sections for the family and the wife , i read it , while in rehab he made several new friends one a woman, I'm finding it hard to cope with this friendship , why ? i know i need to worry about me I'm not able to contr...

a4l · a4l

I don't know if it's human, alanonic or aa but i hate being controlled. made it to an aa meeting last night, it was so good. Came home to sleeping household even better. Climbed into bed, put on a movie, fell asleep feeling like an individual human being and fell asleep. Then this morning the snarky ah who...

Dlove · Dlove

My AH is a DJ at a local bar and because he can't be trusted not to drink and drive and he's already wrecked his own car this past summer drinking and driving I drive him to work. He knows I HATE him working in a bar but somehow he's guilted me into taking him. Anyway, one night in November I picked him up from wo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

My apologies in advance - I had 2 little people spend the night and got distracted this morning! My son borrowed my car for school today and my literature is there. I will post a daily in a couple hours for today unless anyone desires to do so! Feel free - otherwise....better late than never! (((Hugs))...

hotrod · hotrod

As you are aware ,John the founder of MIP is ill and upon his request , a transition team has been established to maintain the site and carry on John's vision. Tanin (from the AA Board) has been elected to replace John as the web site administrator. So as to maintain the integrity of a the alanon messag...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone my father died 2 weeks ago at the age of 86 from liver disease. He was an alcoholic of course. We had a very difficult relationship and I have worked on it for many years as I am in my 50s now. I have prayed to forgive him and worked the steps. At the end I tried to call him and he said something...

ozziekat · ozziekat

Hi all, I am very hopeful of finding help with letting go..perhaps totally of my three adult children. I do not have healthy relationships with any of them and after a year of attending my local Al anon meetings I can see that the only one I have any hope of changing..with the help of my patient Higher Powe...

Pamelove · Pamelove

I'm new and looking for Al-anon meetings, and the brochure, I keep seeing AFG. I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it is? Difference between al-anon and AFG? I'm also looking for ACA meetings. I can't get a return phone call or a return e-mail response. Thank you

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Well, my gut got to me yesterday. We haven't heard from our AS since he wanted us to come get him last week. Apparently he changed his mind because after about 45 min he texted his dad "never-mind". So that is when my mind started to swirl with visions. I know he is living is a very dire situation. I don...

WestMan · WestMan

Hi I'm new here. Hoping someone may have some words of wisdom for me. I'm late 30's, married 13 years, with three young children. The marriage has been tough the last couple years for various reasons. My wife has mentioned a couple times that she thinks she may be an alcoholic. I didn't take her seriousl...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

My AH has been "dry" about a year but I have wondered if he might be hiding his drinking from me. He also continues to smoke pot, hides it from me, and gets very defensive if asked about his use. Just writing that out sounds extremely unhealthy, but there's more. He's become very hot and cold. One moment...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about our slogan - Keep it Simple. The writer suggests that nothing was simple about life before recovery. Difficult job, short on time and obsessing about the qualifier left little time/energy for 'other'... The early days of Al-Anon lifted the denial, and then the writer rea...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I haven't posted in quite a while. My alcoholic boyfriend broke up with me for around 3 weeks last year (after I asked him to get some help for his drinking) but we got back together after that and things were pretty good for a while. I can tell he's drinking more at the moment though & his behaviou...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Things have really piled up on me the past month. My rent was increased, my payment plan for one of my credit cards has expired.Im still unemployed and on unemployment and food aid. I realized that i couldnt hack the rent even if disability came through. since i ran out of choices..im going to be moving i...

Aline · Aline

I'm new to Al-anon and in recent days I've experienced something that I would call a relapse in my recovery. About a week ago I was Happy - despite outside circumstances - quite serene, feeling for the first time in a very long while spiritually quite healthy, and I still do feel that my life, my attitude...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been reading a bit on this and I don't have it all the time. I think it means maturity, not becoming anxious when I don't get my own way. When people, places and things aren't doing what I want, when things are not going my way its about accepting things just as they are, not fighting the reality, tryi...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I dont say these words lightly. I truely have lost all hope. Today my recovering told me he had never had romantic feelings for me. I am utterly devistated. other areas of my life are such a mess. I was hoping he was the one good thing in my life. How the hell can you spend 2.5 years with someone tallkimg abou...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease? We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, S...

Groo · Groo

(Explanation) AH who was main bread winner finally drank his way out of a job. I work a few days a week and part time. He has driven us into debt with all of his medical bills, therapy, inpatient treatment and of course alcohol consumption. Like the rest of you I have lived through tirades, drama, and m...

Mat · Mat

Hey Everyone! I am new to the group so please bare with me. I will go ahead and say I'm not a good writer and have awful spelling/grammer. LOL! I do however have a sense of humor(dry). I am dating a man(for 2 years), when we met he had moved in with his PaPaw(grandfather) to take care of him because he i...

churchlady62 · churchlady62

My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for mys...

madowl86 · madowl86

My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...

madowl86 · madowl86

Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just put one of our pups in the ground; Chloe the black fuzzy wuzzy one. I am angry cause when my wife got the pup my codependence raised it's head and I started saying "No...I don't want this...I know how this goes and how it comes out" and now, this morning the prophecy has come about. She was my wife...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading is about how we may fall into patterns of competitiveness; comparing ourselves to others and even competing with ourselves. The reading suggests that this behavior may stem from feeling inadequate, and a fear of making mistakes in front of others. When we participate in alanon, w...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

I was hoping some of you might be able to share your experiences if you had/have an alcoholic husband and had small kids at home. I feel I need to set some boundaries in terms of him wanting to help me take care of our two month old (overnight feedings, etc) and our older child realizing daddy is acting weir...

Living Free · Living Free

Hello! I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works. I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here. I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic. I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband. I was so than...

luv123 · luv123

Al-ateen:http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children

crzenner73 · crzenner73

Over a year ago I met a man through his ex wife who I was friends with briefly. I met him 2 months before he was sent to prison (SAFP) in Texas for 8 months and then he went into a halfway house for 3 months. He's been out almost one month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I met him. I felt the love...

luv123 · luv123

I related to the topic in Hope For Today on THINK. It describes my thinking when I first came in--negative and obsessive. And how "our best thinking got us here "(or into this mess). How we learn in Al-anon how to think constructively , how to detach from our own negative thinking. I have also heard think...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months. The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six mont...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Working this program is going to be the hardest, yet the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Anyone who has truly worked this program is not going to tell you what you should do. The only thing(s) they are going to tell you, is to come to meetings. To listen to the stories shared by others. To...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Magic words I have said before, officially we are done and I am grateful! Court papers are actually filed and money is now coming directly out of his check. Now comes the fun part I have a few decisions to make and try to decide what is best for the kids and I. Still seeing my guy, still having a good time wi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 5 speaks about identifying how we feel and what we can do when we uncover some of our negative qualities. Working the Steps and attending meetings often allowed me to identify many of my negative attitudes and see that they were actually hurting me by blocking m...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card d...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Hello, I have had a AH for many years. I love my home, my relatives, my job, my husband when he is sober. He has had many months of sobriety on and off. I can't stand him when he walks in the door and I know by his mannerisms before he even gets a word out. Lately, I'm really reaching my boiling point. I rea...

MissM · MissM

Today's courage to change speaks of the author's relationship with their higher power, and the fact that when they are feeling unhappy, they can start to believe that their HP is punishing them. They feel that when they start to feel that way, they have lost sight of the loving nature of their HP and tha...

Jerry F · Jerry F

was the discussion at this mornings meeting and I love to listen to the fellowship share their ESH on the subject while I review my relationship with my own HP. I love to review the experiences of how I came to meet and acknowledge my HP and then accept the personal relationship we have together now. ...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Well, I've been back here for a little more than a week, saw quite a few old friends and might be making some new ones. A few people have asked how I'm doing and I'd say life has its ups and downs. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months. I experienced some health issues back in August last year, took a week...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok funny not so funny, it's not program so take what you like and leave the rest. I work with a very close knit family of women .. I truly love these women they are the best and knowing that's what is waiting for me at work sometimes is what gets me out of bed in the morning .. I have been struggling with differ...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So this goes back awhile. When I was pregnant for Our son My husband was never home. He was always out drinking with his buddies. Coming home late and drunk quite often. He told me our sons room would be finished before he was born.NOPE! After I had our son I thought he would change.Nope. He still was o...

Munch · Munch

Sooo much to say. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and wish I was a LOT farther along in the detach with love process. Everything he says and does affects me. Everything. Background: I believe he's bipolar. Family history, and symptoms lead me to this decision. His drinking has escalated to the point that...

barry wand · barry wand

my names barry. yesterday i had a bloody good day sorting out my chronic debts. it all went well and things are in progress with an action plan. i feel like the monkey has been lifted from my shoulders. it was scary but the best thing i did to address the monkey in the room. my problem was that my default set...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading talks about the program of Al-Anon leading to serenity vs. fixing the qualifier or undoing the damage caused by the disease. The writer suggests sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin was her idea of serenity and she was instead a person with interest in passion. Over time, the wr...

Gapgirl · Gapgirl

After 13 years of marriage and two kids I decided I could not take anymore of his behavior. I decided no matter how hard it would be I was better off and could do this on my own. I needed peace in my home and my kids are I are doing just fine. He's a good Dad and is there for us. So I consider myself lucky. My husb...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Good morning MIP Family....Today's reading discusses attitudes and outlooks prior to Al-Anon. The writer suggests being on a ladder where others were either above or below them. God was way, way, way at the top, and those below were there to be pitied. This was a hard, lonely way to live as no two pe...

newleaf66 · newleaf66

Hello all, Haven't posted in awhile. It's been 1 step forward, 2 steps back over the past year. What finally brought me to me knees was reviewing my journal over the past 10 years and seeing the pattern with my AH over all that time. It is so easy so lull myself into a false security when I think "well, it...

Schnunkell · Schnunkell

hello just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found m...

CristeenRivers · CristeenRivers

I am not sure if this is the right place for me. I have several issues I am dealing with. I'd kind of like to find one place to find some advice. Before I begin, I am seeing someone for medication for behavioral issues but my therapist recently retired; the others in his office are not taking 'new clients'....

hotrod · hotrod

Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery link;http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63186259/alanon-step-12-2-1-2017/

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

It has been said that it is our best thinking that got us to AlAnon. In AlAnon we also hear that a power greater than ourselves can lead us back to sanity. Today's reading reminds us it is a gradual process, fueled by hope. Belief this is possible may begin by just seeing or hearing that others found peace d...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Why stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I choose to write this due to seeing a few exasperated new members here asking themselves this question. The reasons I am about to list are an accumulation of things I've heard in alanon over the years, stuff I've seen from working in treatment/rehab, and my own experience of having had a long relation...	pinkchip	43	2434	Feb 11, 2017 by pinkchip
	The Blame Thing (Preview) 1. So what is this blame thing about, the alcoholic/addict always wants to blame everyone else for their sorrows? 2. And what should be our response to this verbally and otherwise? I was married to a dry alcoholic and he was always blaming everyone else for his situation, he blamed the government, t...	LinSC	10	878	Feb 11, 2017 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change 11/2 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses tradition 5 which helps us set 3 goals- to work the steps, to have compassion for those suffering from alcoholism and to have compassion for others in the al-anon program. It points out how much love is involved in these goals/actions- working the steps is a huge act of love for ou...	MissM	2	434	Feb 11, 2017 by hotrod
	stuck in limbo. (Preview) So im trying to find the courage to call a womens shelter and it's not coming. I can't face the idea of carting three kids to a sharehouse and being in limbo. But this house is hell on earth. I just can't take the mental and emotional abuse anymore: physically I know i can take care of myself and my kids. No fe...	a4l	4	539	Feb 11, 2017 by lookingup
	Enabling or Supporting? enabling supporting alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) Hi all, I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm being supportive of my boyfriend or enabling him to lie to me. The abbreviated version is he lied to me about something stupid, then lied about why he lied. Now I'm agonizing over the decision to go visit him on Sunday, since he only gets one visitation day per...	Joxci	2	5680	Feb 10, 2017 by Joxci
	Why the sudden change of behavior? Will it last?? (Preview) So my AH has stopped drinking for 17 days. He did this on his own. He does not think he needs help with it. He says if he wanted a beer he would go drink one. He also told me a week or so ago that he was going to have a drink on his birthday (Feb. 9). I almost feel like he thinks he is rewarding himself for not dri...	kzoomom79	7	547	Feb 10, 2017 by Aerin
	the subject of jealousy (Preview) my husband just came out of rehab , we are trying to be together he showed me the aa book i found the sections for the family and the wife , i read it , while in rehab he made several new friends one a woman, I'm finding it hard to cope with this friendship , why ? i know i need to worry about me I'm not able to contr...	lizbots1	3	436	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	rebellion (Preview) I don't know if it's human, alanonic or aa but i hate being controlled. made it to an aa meeting last night, it was so good. Came home to sleeping household even better. Climbed into bed, put on a movie, fell asleep feeling like an individual human being and fell asleep. Then this morning the snarky ah who...	a4l	7	491	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Vicious Cycle (Preview) My AH is a DJ at a local bar and because he can't be trusted not to drink and drive and he's already wrecked his own car this past summer drinking and driving I drive him to work. He knows I HATE him working in a bar but somehow he's guilted me into taking him. Anyway, one night in November I picked him up from wo...	Dlove	6	788	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Daily to Follow (Preview) My apologies in advance - I had 2 little people spend the night and got distracted this morning! My son borrowed my car for school today and my literature is there. I will post a daily in a couple hours for today unless anyone desires to do so! Feel free - otherwise....better late than never! (((Hugs))...	Iamhere	0	270	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	General Announcement (Preview) As you are aware ,John the founder of MIP is ill and upon his request , a transition team has been established to maintain the site and carry on John's vision. Tanin (from the AA Board) has been elected to replace John as the web site administrator. So as to maintain the integrity of a the alanon messag...	hotrod	7	458	Feb 10, 2017 by Jen61
	Grieving my Father and Qualifier (Preview) Hi Everyone my father died 2 weeks ago at the age of 86 from liver disease. He was an alcoholic of course. We had a very difficult relationship and I have worked on it for many years as I am in my 50s now. I have prayed to forgive him and worked the steps. At the end I tried to call him and he said something...	Charlotte22	4	384	Feb 10, 2017 by Charlotte22
	Family..friends or foes? (Preview) Hi all, I am very hopeful of finding help with letting go..perhaps totally of my three adult children. I do not have healthy relationships with any of them and after a year of attending my local Al anon meetings I can see that the only one I have any hope of changing..with the help of my patient Higher Powe...	ozziekat	4	500	Feb 9, 2017 by Stan1
	AFG (Preview) I'm new and looking for Al-anon meetings, and the brochure, I keep seeing AFG. I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it is? Difference between al-anon and AFG? I'm also looking for ACA meetings. I can't get a return phone call or a return e-mail response. Thank you	Pamelove	3	411	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	I did what I did for me and hopefully him (Preview) Well, my gut got to me yesterday. We haven't heard from our AS since he wanted us to come get him last week. Apparently he changed his mind because after about 45 min he texted his dad "never-mind". So that is when my mind started to swirl with visions. I know he is living is a very dire situation. I don...	Tannersmom	4	437	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Wife has quit drinking, in AA and I'm...angry? (Preview) Hi I'm new here. Hoping someone may have some words of wisdom for me. I'm late 30's, married 13 years, with three young children. The marriage has been tough the last couple years for various reasons. My wife has mentioned a couple times that she thinks she may be an alcoholic. I didn't take her seriousl...	WestMan	20	825	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Emotional abuse (Preview) My AH has been "dry" about a year but I have wondered if he might be hiding his drinking from me. He also continues to smoke pot, hides it from me, and gets very defensive if asked about his use. Just writing that out sounds extremely unhealthy, but there's more. He's become very hot and cold. One moment...	Taraxacum	4	363	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about our slogan - Keep it Simple. The writer suggests that nothing was simple about life before recovery. Difficult job, short on time and obsessing about the qualifier left little time/energy for 'other'... The early days of Al-Anon lifted the denial, and then the writer rea...	Iamhere	4	484	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholic boyfriend still lying (Preview) I haven't posted in quite a while. My alcoholic boyfriend broke up with me for around 3 weeks last year (after I asked him to get some help for his drinking) but we got back together after that and things were pretty good for a while. I can tell he's drinking more at the moment though & his behaviou...	SaraLin	5	366	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	not the road i planned on (Preview) Things have really piled up on me the past month. My rent was increased, my payment plan for one of my credit cards has expired.Im still unemployed and on unemployment and food aid. I realized that i couldnt hack the rent even if disability came through. since i ran out of choices..im going to be moving i...	YARNCRAZY	5	415	Feb 8, 2017 by andromeda
	Relapse in my recovery (Preview) I'm new to Al-anon and in recent days I've experienced something that I would call a relapse in my recovery. About a week ago I was Happy - despite outside circumstances - quite serene, feeling for the first time in a very long while spiritually quite healthy, and I still do feel that my life, my attitude...	Aline	4	384	Feb 8, 2017 by Aline
	Emotional Sobriety is my goal (Preview) I have been reading a bit on this and I don't have it all the time. I think it means maturity, not becoming anxious when I don't get my own way. When people, places and things aren't doing what I want, when things are not going my way its about accepting things just as they are, not fighting the reality, tryi...	el-cee	6	711	Feb 8, 2017 by Calm Lady
	Suicidal (Preview) I dont say these words lightly. I truely have lost all hope. Today my recovering told me he had never had romantic feelings for me. I am utterly devistated. other areas of my life are such a mess. I was hoping he was the one good thing in my life. How the hell can you spend 2.5 years with someone tallkimg abou...	tealfighter	19	1111	Feb 8, 2017 by tiredtonite
	2-8-17 One Day at a Time in ALAnon (Preview) Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease? We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, S...	Enigmatic	5	2805	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholic spouse lost his job. (Preview) (Explanation) AH who was main bread winner finally drank his way out of a job. I work a few days a week and part time. He has driven us into debt with all of his medical bills, therapy, inpatient treatment and of course alcohol consumption. Like the rest of you I have lived through tirades, drama, and m...	Groo	8	639	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	My boyfriend and I are struggling.... (Preview) Hey Everyone! I am new to the group so please bare with me. I will go ahead and say I'm not a good writer and have awful spelling/grammer. LOL! I do however have a sense of humor(dry). I am dating a man(for 2 years), when we met he had moved in with his PaPaw(grandfather) to take care of him because he i...	Mat	4	497	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Daughters resentment (Preview) My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for mys...	churchlady62	4	455	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	ABF suddenly wants time apart (Preview) My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...	madowl86	0	288	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Keeping quiet about what you know (Preview) Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....	madowl86	20	1289	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Sad and heart hurts and I'm angry... (Preview) Just put one of our pups in the ground; Chloe the black fuzzy wuzzy one. I am angry cause when my wife got the pup my codependence raised it's head and I started saying "No...I don't want this...I know how this goes and how it comes out" and now, this morning the prophecy has come about. She was my wife...	Jerry F	13	2547	Feb 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Feb 7 (Preview) Today's reading is about how we may fall into patterns of competitiveness; comparing ourselves to others and even competing with ourselves. The reading suggests that this behavior may stem from feeling inadequate, and a fear of making mistakes in front of others. When we participate in alanon, w...	yanksfan51	3	471	Feb 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries with an AH and Small children (Preview) I was hoping some of you might be able to share your experiences if you had/have an alcoholic husband and had small kids at home. I feel I need to set some boundaries in terms of him wanting to help me take care of our two month old (overnight feedings, etc) and our older child realizing daddy is acting weir...	LoLo23	4	472	Feb 7, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Checking in after 22 years (Preview) Hello! I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works. I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here. I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic. I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband. I was so than...	Living Free	8	613	Feb 7, 2017 by Enigmatic
	HOW DO WE HELP OUR CHILDREN COPE (Preview) Al-ateen:http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children	luv123	2	482	Feb 6, 2017 by Jerry F
	In relationship w/Recovering Alcoholic straight out of rehab/halfway house - involved for 1 year already (Preview) Over a year ago I met a man through his ex wife who I was friends with briefly. I met him 2 months before he was sent to prison (SAFP) in Texas for 8 months and then he went into a halfway house for 3 months. He's been out almost one month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I met him. I felt the love...	crzenner73	5	851	Feb 6, 2017 by luv123
	The Slogan: THINK (in Hope 4 2day 2/5) (Preview) I related to the topic in Hope For Today on THINK. It describes my thinking when I first came in--negative and obsessive. And how "our best thinking got us here "(or into this mess). How we learn in Al-anon how to think constructively , how to detach from our own negative thinking. I have also heard think...	luv123	2	3145	Feb 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	2/5/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months. The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six mont...	Enigmatic	3	385	Feb 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	What do I do? (you ask) (Preview) Working this program is going to be the hardest, yet the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Anyone who has truly worked this program is not going to tell you what you should do. The only thing(s) they are going to tell you, is to come to meetings. To listen to the stories shared by others. To...	kismetstrand	6	484	Feb 6, 2017 by DavidG
	I think I'm done .. lol (Preview) Magic words I have said before, officially we are done and I am grateful! Court papers are actually filed and money is now coming directly out of his check. Now comes the fun part I have a few decisions to make and try to decide what is best for the kids and I. Still seeing my guy, still having a good time wi...	SerenityRUS	4	562	Feb 5, 2017 by lookingup
	The ODAT Reading 2-5-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 5 speaks about identifying how we feel and what we can do when we uncover some of our negative qualities. Working the Steps and attending meetings often allowed me to identify many of my negative attitudes and see that they were actually hurting me by blocking m...	hotrod	3	528	Feb 5, 2017 by lookingup
	ciumstances (Preview) well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card d...	YARNCRAZY	5	453	Feb 5, 2017 by LinSC
	If You Have Left Relationship (Preview) Hello, I have had a AH for many years. I love my home, my relatives, my job, my husband when he is sober. He has had many months of sobriety on and off. I can't stand him when he walks in the door and I know by his mannerisms before he even gets a word out. Lately, I'm really reaching my boiling point. I rea...	wifeofalcoholic	10	719	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 4/2 (Preview) Today's courage to change speaks of the author's relationship with their higher power, and the fact that when they are feeling unhappy, they can start to believe that their HP is punishing them. They feel that when they start to feel that way, they have lost sight of the loving nature of their HP and tha...	MissM	1	444	Feb 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Higher Powers... (Preview) was the discussion at this mornings meeting and I love to listen to the fellowship share their ESH on the subject while I review my relationship with my own HP. I love to review the experiences of how I came to meet and acknowledge my HP and then accept the personal relationship we have together now. ...	Jerry F	1	352	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Ups And Downs (Preview) Well, I've been back here for a little more than a week, saw quite a few old friends and might be making some new ones. A few people have asked how I'm doing and I'd say life has its ups and downs. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months. I experienced some health issues back in August last year, took a week...	Wolfie55	2	355	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Funny Story .. (Preview) Ok funny not so funny, it's not program so take what you like and leave the rest. I work with a very close knit family of women .. I truly love these women they are the best and knowing that's what is waiting for me at work sometimes is what gets me out of bed in the morning .. I have been struggling with differ...	SerenityRUS	0	445	Feb 4, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	So today I am fearful (Preview) Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...	Tannersmom	11	1408	Feb 4, 2017 by Peacefullyliving
	Update on John (Preview) I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...	kismetstrand	3	428	Feb 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	5 Year Al-Anon Anniversary (Preview) This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...	Green Eyes	11	1311	Feb 4, 2017 by Breakingfree
	Should I stay or should I go? (Preview) So this goes back awhile. When I was pregnant for Our son My husband was never home. He was always out drinking with his buddies. Coming home late and drunk quite often. He told me our sons room would be finished before he was born.NOPE! After I had our son I thought he would change.Nope. He still was o...	kzoomom79	13	822	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) Sooo much to say. I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and wish I was a LOT farther along in the detach with love process. Everything he says and does affects me. Everything. Background: I believe he's bipolar. Family history, and symptoms lead me to this decision. His drinking has escalated to the point that...	Munch	16	677	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	sober celebrations (Preview) my names barry. yesterday i had a bloody good day sorting out my chronic debts. it all went well and things are in progress with an action plan. i feel like the monkey has been lifted from my shoulders. it was scary but the best thing i did to address the monkey in the room. my problem was that my default set...	barry wand	6	4472	Feb 3, 2017 by a4l
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/3/17 (Preview) Today's reading talks about the program of Al-Anon leading to serenity vs. fixing the qualifier or undoing the damage caused by the disease. The writer suggests sitting on a mountaintop with a silly grin was her idea of serenity and she was instead a person with interest in passion. Over time, the wr...	Iamhere	1	368	Feb 3, 2017 by hotrod
	New member/just separated from spouse (Preview) After 13 years of marriage and two kids I decided I could not take anymore of his behavior. I decided no matter how hard it would be I was better off and could do this on my own. I needed peace in my home and my kids are I are doing just fine. He's a good Dad and is there for us. So I consider myself lucky. My husb...	Gapgirl	4	728	Feb 3, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/2/17 (Preview) Good morning MIP Family....Today's reading discusses attitudes and outlooks prior to Al-Anon. The writer suggests being on a ladder where others were either above or below them. God was way, way, way at the top, and those below were there to be pitied. This was a hard, lonely way to live as no two pe...	Iamhere	4	509	Feb 2, 2017 by shrnp
	1 step forward, 2 steps back... (Preview) Hello all, Haven't posted in awhile. It's been 1 step forward, 2 steps back over the past year. What finally brought me to me knees was reviewing my journal over the past 10 years and seeing the pattern with my AH over all that time. It is so easy so lull myself into a false security when I think "well, it...	newleaf66	8	2114	Feb 2, 2017 by Jerry F
	Need some advice , I don't know what to do ? (Preview) hello just a brief background , I am British but live in Italy with my husband . We have been together 16 years and his alcoholism has now , and after gradually growing become a huge problem , and a very dangerous problem I a man trying to keep everything going , the business , homelife etc but have found m...	Schnunkell	3	498	Feb 2, 2017 by luv123
	Feeling overwhelmed; In need of guidance plz. (Preview) I am not sure if this is the right place for me. I have several issues I am dealing with. I'd kind of like to find one place to find some advice. Before I begin, I am seeing someone for medication for behavioral issues but my therapist recently retired; the others in his office are not taking 'new clients'....	CristeenRivers	9	672	Feb 1, 2017 by CristeenRivers
	Step 12 (Preview) Learn How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery link;http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t63186259/alanon-step-12-2-1-2017/	hotrod	0	389	Feb 1, 2017 by hotrod
	2/1/17 Hope for Today (Preview) It has been said that it is our best thinking that got us to AlAnon. In AlAnon we also hear that a power greater than ourselves can lead us back to sanity. Today's reading reminds us it is a gradual process, fueled by hope. Belief this is possible may begin by just seeing or hearing that others found peace d...	Enigmatic	4	502	Feb 1, 2017 by shrnp
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.