Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Been sorting and packing for another move to my boyfriend,s house. Came across some notes to myself just 1 yr into my relationship with my XAH. How could i be so stupid. I saw the red flags then and should have heeded them but i didnt. I went ahead and stayed with the guy and endured 25 yrs of misery before i...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

Hi I am new here and I am planning on attending my first Al-Anon meeting this weekend. I am really nervous as I do not know what to really expect. My AH has been physically abusive 3 times in the last 7 years while drunk. My problem is he is trying to win me back and I gave him two choices to move out in 30 days or g...

Godsdaughter · Godsdaughter

I have posted before in regards to attending my 1st meeting...now i attempted to go last night but it was cancelled. The next one by me is this Sunday. I already knew in my head that my AH would have a fit cause Sundays we have a routine of church then laundry and home. Well the time i would need to attend a mee...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

AlAnon encourages us to consider our role in the unpleasantness at home...and it would be a very rare case that the alcoholic was responsible for it all in its entirety. Today's page acknowledges that it is a difficult, but entirely necessary part of our recovery. A look at our motives behind what we s...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 12 asks the question what happens when the ideas that we receive at an Al-Anon meeting seem to roll off our consciousness and asks why are we not demonstrate these ideas in or every day actions? Why cant we absorb them and make them work for us.? The reading suggests t...

lookingup · lookingup

Another beautiful sun shiny day ,birds singing outside my window, i picked yellow buttercups out of my yard put in vase on my table. my hp is great,he knows me and my needs. im very grateful for hp and this 70 and 80 degree weather. in the middle of winter.i know this aint right,strange ,weird weather.l...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone, I have been in recovery for over 10 years. In the past 7 months I have gone through a true "dark night of the Soul" and I am working with a jungian who says that it sometimes happens on the Spiritual path. There is a lot about it on You Tube but I would really like to connect with others who have g...

Munch · Munch

Why do alcoholics isolate themselves? AND the people they claim to love, and care about? When he moved upstairs into our vacant apartment, his reason was that he just needed his own space for awhile...to do his own thing. As near as I can tell, his 'own thing' is watching TV and drinking. Just like he...

Aerin · Aerin

"My power comes in giving MYSELF what I need. No longer looking to others, outside of myself to get my sense of security. I cannot trust the alcoholics in my life. ï¿½However, I CAN TRUST MYSELF... the guide within me always.... I can listen to.... I can trust... and I can nurture that guide. ï¿½Al-an...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading in Courage to Change discusses how we can and should use creativity to celebrate who we are and what we feel. One of the effects of the disease is many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements and desires. We learn in recovery to know, appreciate and express o...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

I finally texted my AS yesterday, told him that if he didn't call me (not text) by noon today that I was going to call in for a well check. He called me at 5:30 this morning. He was very angry at first telling me that if the cops came it would mess up this living situation. Hmmm, what does that mean? Oh that m...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I choose to write this due to seeing a few exasperated new members here asking themselves this question. The reasons I am about to list are an accumulation of things I've heard in alanon over the years, stuff I've seen from working in treatment/rehab, and my own experience of having had a long relation...

LinSC · LinSC

1. So what is this blame thing about, the alcoholic/addict always wants to blame everyone else for their sorrows? 2. And what should be our response to this verbally and otherwise? I was married to a dry alcoholic and he was always blaming everyone else for his situation, he blamed the government, t...

MissM · MissM

Today's C2C discusses tradition 5 which helps us set 3 goals- to work the steps, to have compassion for those suffering from alcoholism and to have compassion for others in the al-anon program. It points out how much love is involved in these goals/actions- working the steps is a huge act of love for ou...

a4l · a4l

So im trying to find the courage to call a womens shelter and it's not coming. I can't face the idea of carting three kids to a sharehouse and being in limbo. But this house is hell on earth. I just can't take the mental and emotional abuse anymore: physically I know i can take care of myself and my kids. No fe...

Joxci · Joxci

Hi all, I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm being supportive of my boyfriend or enabling him to lie to me. The abbreviated version is he lied to me about something stupid, then lied about why he lied. Now I'm agonizing over the decision to go visit him on Sunday, since he only gets one visitation day per...

kzoomom79 · kzoomom79

So my AH has stopped drinking for 17 days. He did this on his own. He does not think he needs help with it. He says if he wanted a beer he would go drink one. He also told me a week or so ago that he was going to have a drink on his birthday (Feb. 9). I almost feel like he thinks he is rewarding himself for not dri...

lizbots1 · lizbots1

my husband just came out of rehab , we are trying to be together he showed me the aa book i found the sections for the family and the wife , i read it , while in rehab he made several new friends one a woman, I'm finding it hard to cope with this friendship , why ? i know i need to worry about me I'm not able to contr...

a4l · a4l

I don't know if it's human, alanonic or aa but i hate being controlled. made it to an aa meeting last night, it was so good. Came home to sleeping household even better. Climbed into bed, put on a movie, fell asleep feeling like an individual human being and fell asleep. Then this morning the snarky ah who...

Dlove · Dlove

My AH is a DJ at a local bar and because he can't be trusted not to drink and drive and he's already wrecked his own car this past summer drinking and driving I drive him to work. He knows I HATE him working in a bar but somehow he's guilted me into taking him. Anyway, one night in November I picked him up from wo...

Iamhere · Iamhere

My apologies in advance - I had 2 little people spend the night and got distracted this morning! My son borrowed my car for school today and my literature is there. I will post a daily in a couple hours for today unless anyone desires to do so! Feel free - otherwise....better late than never! (((Hugs))...

hotrod · hotrod

As you are aware ,John the founder of MIP is ill and upon his request , a transition team has been established to maintain the site and carry on John's vision. Tanin (from the AA Board) has been elected to replace John as the web site administrator. So as to maintain the integrity of a the alanon messag...

Charlotte22 · Charlotte22

Hi Everyone my father died 2 weeks ago at the age of 86 from liver disease. He was an alcoholic of course. We had a very difficult relationship and I have worked on it for many years as I am in my 50s now. I have prayed to forgive him and worked the steps. At the end I tried to call him and he said something...

ozziekat · ozziekat

Hi all, I am very hopeful of finding help with letting go..perhaps totally of my three adult children. I do not have healthy relationships with any of them and after a year of attending my local Al anon meetings I can see that the only one I have any hope of changing..with the help of my patient Higher Powe...

Pamelove · Pamelove

I'm new and looking for Al-anon meetings, and the brochure, I keep seeing AFG. I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it is? Difference between al-anon and AFG? I'm also looking for ACA meetings. I can't get a return phone call or a return e-mail response. Thank you

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Well, my gut got to me yesterday. We haven't heard from our AS since he wanted us to come get him last week. Apparently he changed his mind because after about 45 min he texted his dad "never-mind". So that is when my mind started to swirl with visions. I know he is living is a very dire situation. I don...

WestMan · WestMan

Hi I'm new here. Hoping someone may have some words of wisdom for me. I'm late 30's, married 13 years, with three young children. The marriage has been tough the last couple years for various reasons. My wife has mentioned a couple times that she thinks she may be an alcoholic. I didn't take her seriousl...

Taraxacum · Taraxacum

My AH has been "dry" about a year but I have wondered if he might be hiding his drinking from me. He also continues to smoke pot, hides it from me, and gets very defensive if asked about his use. Just writing that out sounds extremely unhealthy, but there's more. He's become very hot and cold. One moment...

Iamhere · Iamhere

Today's reading is about our slogan - Keep it Simple. The writer suggests that nothing was simple about life before recovery. Difficult job, short on time and obsessing about the qualifier left little time/energy for 'other'... The early days of Al-Anon lifted the denial, and then the writer rea...

SaraLin · SaraLin

I haven't posted in quite a while. My alcoholic boyfriend broke up with me for around 3 weeks last year (after I asked him to get some help for his drinking) but we got back together after that and things were pretty good for a while. I can tell he's drinking more at the moment though & his behaviou...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

Things have really piled up on me the past month. My rent was increased, my payment plan for one of my credit cards has expired.Im still unemployed and on unemployment and food aid. I realized that i couldnt hack the rent even if disability came through. since i ran out of choices..im going to be moving i...

Aline · Aline

I'm new to Al-anon and in recent days I've experienced something that I would call a relapse in my recovery. About a week ago I was Happy - despite outside circumstances - quite serene, feeling for the first time in a very long while spiritually quite healthy, and I still do feel that my life, my attitude...

el-cee · el-cee

I have been reading a bit on this and I don't have it all the time. I think it means maturity, not becoming anxious when I don't get my own way. When people, places and things aren't doing what I want, when things are not going my way its about accepting things just as they are, not fighting the reality, tryi...

tealfighter · tealfighter

I dont say these words lightly. I truely have lost all hope. Today my recovering told me he had never had romantic feelings for me. I am utterly devistated. other areas of my life are such a mess. I was hoping he was the one good thing in my life. How the hell can you spend 2.5 years with someone tallkimg abou...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease? We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, S...

Groo · Groo

(Explanation) AH who was main bread winner finally drank his way out of a job. I work a few days a week and part time. He has driven us into debt with all of his medical bills, therapy, inpatient treatment and of course alcohol consumption. Like the rest of you I have lived through tirades, drama, and m...

Mat · Mat

Hey Everyone! I am new to the group so please bare with me. I will go ahead and say I'm not a good writer and have awful spelling/grammer. LOL! I do however have a sense of humor(dry). I am dating a man(for 2 years), when we met he had moved in with his PaPaw(grandfather) to take care of him because he i...

churchlady62 · churchlady62

My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for mys...

madowl86 · madowl86

My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...

madowl86 · madowl86

Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just put one of our pups in the ground; Chloe the black fuzzy wuzzy one. I am angry cause when my wife got the pup my codependence raised it's head and I started saying "No...I don't want this...I know how this goes and how it comes out" and now, this morning the prophecy has come about. She was my wife...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Today's reading is about how we may fall into patterns of competitiveness; comparing ourselves to others and even competing with ourselves. The reading suggests that this behavior may stem from feeling inadequate, and a fear of making mistakes in front of others. When we participate in alanon, w...

LoLo23 · LoLo23

I was hoping some of you might be able to share your experiences if you had/have an alcoholic husband and had small kids at home. I feel I need to set some boundaries in terms of him wanting to help me take care of our two month old (overnight feedings, etc) and our older child realizing daddy is acting weir...

Living Free · Living Free

Hello! I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works. I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here. I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic. I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband. I was so than...

luv123 · luv123

Al-ateen:http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children

crzenner73 · crzenner73

Over a year ago I met a man through his ex wife who I was friends with briefly. I met him 2 months before he was sent to prison (SAFP) in Texas for 8 months and then he went into a halfway house for 3 months. He's been out almost one month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I met him. I felt the love...

luv123 · luv123

I related to the topic in Hope For Today on THINK. It describes my thinking when I first came in--negative and obsessive. And how "our best thinking got us here "(or into this mess). How we learn in Al-anon how to think constructively , how to detach from our own negative thinking. I have also heard think...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months. The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six mont...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

Working this program is going to be the hardest, yet the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Anyone who has truly worked this program is not going to tell you what you should do. The only thing(s) they are going to tell you, is to come to meetings. To listen to the stories shared by others. To...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Magic words I have said before, officially we are done and I am grateful! Court papers are actually filed and money is now coming directly out of his check. Now comes the fun part I have a few decisions to make and try to decide what is best for the kids and I. Still seeing my guy, still having a good time wi...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for February 5 speaks about identifying how we feel and what we can do when we uncover some of our negative qualities. Working the Steps and attending meetings often allowed me to identify many of my negative attitudes and see that they were actually hurting me by blocking m...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card d...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Hello, I have had a AH for many years. I love my home, my relatives, my job, my husband when he is sober. He has had many months of sobriety on and off. I can't stand him when he walks in the door and I know by his mannerisms before he even gets a word out. Lately, I'm really reaching my boiling point. I rea...

MissM · MissM

Today's courage to change speaks of the author's relationship with their higher power, and the fact that when they are feeling unhappy, they can start to believe that their HP is punishing them. They feel that when they start to feel that way, they have lost sight of the loving nature of their HP and tha...

Jerry F · Jerry F

was the discussion at this mornings meeting and I love to listen to the fellowship share their ESH on the subject while I review my relationship with my own HP. I love to review the experiences of how I came to meet and acknowledge my HP and then accept the personal relationship we have together now. ...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Well, I've been back here for a little more than a week, saw quite a few old friends and might be making some new ones. A few people have asked how I'm doing and I'd say life has its ups and downs. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months. I experienced some health issues back in August last year, took a week...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

Ok funny not so funny, it's not program so take what you like and leave the rest. I work with a very close knit family of women .. I truly love these women they are the best and knowing that's what is waiting for me at work sometimes is what gets me out of bed in the morning .. I have been struggling with differ...

Tannersmom · Tannersmom

Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...

kismetstrand · kismetstrand

I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	regrets, ive had a few (Preview) Been sorting and packing for another move to my boyfriend,s house. Came across some notes to myself just 1 yr into my relationship with my XAH. How could i be so stupid. I saw the red flags then and should have heeded them but i didnt. I went ahead and stayed with the guy and endured 25 yrs of misery before i...	YARNCRAZY	4	485	Feb 13, 2017 by hotrod
	Nervous-1st Time at Al-Anon meeting coming up! (Preview) Hi I am new here and I am planning on attending my first Al-Anon meeting this weekend. I am really nervous as I do not know what to really expect. My AH has been physically abusive 3 times in the last 7 years while drunk. My problem is he is trying to win me back and I gave him two choices to move out in 30 days or g...	Godsdaughter	30	619	Feb 13, 2017 by Iamhere
	AH not accepting Change... (Preview) I have posted before in regards to attending my 1st meeting...now i attempted to go last night but it was cancelled. The next one by me is this Sunday. I already knew in my head that my AH would have a fit cause Sundays we have a routine of church then laundry and home. Well the time i would need to attend a mee...	Godsdaughter	2	395	Feb 13, 2017 by Jerry F
	One Day at a Time in AlAnon (ODAT) 2/13/17 (Preview) AlAnon encourages us to consider our role in the unpleasantness at home...and it would be a very rare case that the alcoholic was responsible for it all in its entirety. Today's page acknowledges that it is a difficult, but entirely necessary part of our recovery. A look at our motives behind what we s...	Enigmatic	4	408	Feb 13, 2017 by tiredtonite
	ODAT Reading 2-12-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 12 asks the question what happens when the ideas that we receive at an Al-Anon meeting seem to roll off our consciousness and asks why are we not demonstrate these ideas in or every day actions? Why cant we absorb them and make them work for us.? The reading suggests t...	hotrod	2	398	Feb 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	Grateful (Preview) Another beautiful sun shiny day ,birds singing outside my window, i picked yellow buttercups out of my yard put in vase on my table. my hp is great,he knows me and my needs. im very grateful for hp and this 70 and 80 degree weather. in the middle of winter.i know this aint right,strange ,weird weather.l...	lookingup	6	437	Feb 12, 2017 by Iamhere
	Has Anyone Been Through a True Dark Night of Soul in Recovery? (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have been in recovery for over 10 years. In the past 7 months I have gone through a true "dark night of the Soul" and I am working with a jungian who says that it sometimes happens on the Spiritual path. There is a lot about it on You Tube but I would really like to connect with others who have g...	Charlotte22	2	444	Feb 12, 2017 by Jerry F
	Isolation (Preview) Why do alcoholics isolate themselves? AND the people they claim to love, and care about? When he moved upstairs into our vacant apartment, his reason was that he just needed his own space for awhile...to do his own thing. As near as I can tell, his 'own thing' is watching TV and drinking. Just like he...	Munch	3	561	Feb 11, 2017 by Jerry F
	Proud of Me but Still Unsure (Preview) "My power comes in giving MYSELF what I need. No longer looking to others, outside of myself to get my sense of security. I cannot trust the alcoholics in my life. ï¿½However, I CAN TRUST MYSELF... the guide within me always.... I can listen to.... I can trust... and I can nurture that guide. ï¿½Al-an...	Aerin	3	427	Feb 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/10/17 (Preview) Today's reading in Courage to Change discusses how we can and should use creativity to celebrate who we are and what we feel. One of the effects of the disease is many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements and desires. We learn in recovery to know, appreciate and express o...	Iamhere	3	426	Feb 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	I did what I did for me and hopefully him update (Preview) I finally texted my AS yesterday, told him that if he didn't call me (not text) by noon today that I was going to call in for a well check. He called me at 5:30 this morning. He was very angry at first telling me that if the cops came it would mess up this living situation. Hmmm, what does that mean? Oh that m...	Tannersmom	3	425	Feb 11, 2017 by Iamhere
	Why stay in a relationship with an alcoholic? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I choose to write this due to seeing a few exasperated new members here asking themselves this question. The reasons I am about to list are an accumulation of things I've heard in alanon over the years, stuff I've seen from working in treatment/rehab, and my own experience of having had a long relation...	pinkchip	43	2460	Feb 11, 2017 by pinkchip
	The Blame Thing (Preview) 1. So what is this blame thing about, the alcoholic/addict always wants to blame everyone else for their sorrows? 2. And what should be our response to this verbally and otherwise? I was married to a dry alcoholic and he was always blaming everyone else for his situation, he blamed the government, t...	LinSC	10	891	Feb 11, 2017 by pinkchip
	Courage to Change 11/2 (Preview) Today's C2C discusses tradition 5 which helps us set 3 goals- to work the steps, to have compassion for those suffering from alcoholism and to have compassion for others in the al-anon program. It points out how much love is involved in these goals/actions- working the steps is a huge act of love for ou...	MissM	2	436	Feb 11, 2017 by hotrod
	stuck in limbo. (Preview) So im trying to find the courage to call a womens shelter and it's not coming. I can't face the idea of carting three kids to a sharehouse and being in limbo. But this house is hell on earth. I just can't take the mental and emotional abuse anymore: physically I know i can take care of myself and my kids. No fe...	a4l	4	543	Feb 11, 2017 by lookingup
	Enabling or Supporting? enabling supporting alcoholic boyfriend (Preview) Hi all, I'm having a hard time deciding if I'm being supportive of my boyfriend or enabling him to lie to me. The abbreviated version is he lied to me about something stupid, then lied about why he lied. Now I'm agonizing over the decision to go visit him on Sunday, since he only gets one visitation day per...	Joxci	2	5942	Feb 10, 2017 by Joxci
	Why the sudden change of behavior? Will it last?? (Preview) So my AH has stopped drinking for 17 days. He did this on his own. He does not think he needs help with it. He says if he wanted a beer he would go drink one. He also told me a week or so ago that he was going to have a drink on his birthday (Feb. 9). I almost feel like he thinks he is rewarding himself for not dri...	kzoomom79	7	551	Feb 10, 2017 by Aerin
	the subject of jealousy (Preview) my husband just came out of rehab , we are trying to be together he showed me the aa book i found the sections for the family and the wife , i read it , while in rehab he made several new friends one a woman, I'm finding it hard to cope with this friendship , why ? i know i need to worry about me I'm not able to contr...	lizbots1	3	445	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	rebellion (Preview) I don't know if it's human, alanonic or aa but i hate being controlled. made it to an aa meeting last night, it was so good. Came home to sleeping household even better. Climbed into bed, put on a movie, fell asleep feeling like an individual human being and fell asleep. Then this morning the snarky ah who...	a4l	7	493	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Vicious Cycle (Preview) My AH is a DJ at a local bar and because he can't be trusted not to drink and drive and he's already wrecked his own car this past summer drinking and driving I drive him to work. He knows I HATE him working in a bar but somehow he's guilted me into taking him. Anyway, one night in November I picked him up from wo...	Dlove	6	790	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	Daily to Follow (Preview) My apologies in advance - I had 2 little people spend the night and got distracted this morning! My son borrowed my car for school today and my literature is there. I will post a daily in a couple hours for today unless anyone desires to do so! Feel free - otherwise....better late than never! (((Hugs))...	Iamhere	0	270	Feb 10, 2017 by Iamhere
	General Announcement (Preview) As you are aware ,John the founder of MIP is ill and upon his request , a transition team has been established to maintain the site and carry on John's vision. Tanin (from the AA Board) has been elected to replace John as the web site administrator. So as to maintain the integrity of a the alanon messag...	hotrod	7	460	Feb 10, 2017 by Jen61
	Grieving my Father and Qualifier (Preview) Hi Everyone my father died 2 weeks ago at the age of 86 from liver disease. He was an alcoholic of course. We had a very difficult relationship and I have worked on it for many years as I am in my 50s now. I have prayed to forgive him and worked the steps. At the end I tried to call him and he said something...	Charlotte22	4	388	Feb 10, 2017 by Charlotte22
	Family..friends or foes? (Preview) Hi all, I am very hopeful of finding help with letting go..perhaps totally of my three adult children. I do not have healthy relationships with any of them and after a year of attending my local Al anon meetings I can see that the only one I have any hope of changing..with the help of my patient Higher Powe...	ozziekat	4	503	Feb 9, 2017 by Stan1
	AFG (Preview) I'm new and looking for Al-anon meetings, and the brochure, I keep seeing AFG. I know what it stands for, but I don't know what it is? Difference between al-anon and AFG? I'm also looking for ACA meetings. I can't get a return phone call or a return e-mail response. Thank you	Pamelove	3	413	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	I did what I did for me and hopefully him (Preview) Well, my gut got to me yesterday. We haven't heard from our AS since he wanted us to come get him last week. Apparently he changed his mind because after about 45 min he texted his dad "never-mind". So that is when my mind started to swirl with visions. I know he is living is a very dire situation. I don...	Tannersmom	4	444	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Wife has quit drinking, in AA and I'm...angry? (Preview) Hi I'm new here. Hoping someone may have some words of wisdom for me. I'm late 30's, married 13 years, with three young children. The marriage has been tough the last couple years for various reasons. My wife has mentioned a couple times that she thinks she may be an alcoholic. I didn't take her seriousl...	WestMan	20	828	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Emotional abuse (Preview) My AH has been "dry" about a year but I have wondered if he might be hiding his drinking from me. He also continues to smoke pot, hides it from me, and gets very defensive if asked about his use. Just writing that out sounds extremely unhealthy, but there's more. He's become very hot and cold. One moment...	Taraxacum	4	364	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to Change (C2C) 2/9/17 (Preview) Today's reading is about our slogan - Keep it Simple. The writer suggests that nothing was simple about life before recovery. Difficult job, short on time and obsessing about the qualifier left little time/energy for 'other'... The early days of Al-Anon lifted the denial, and then the writer rea...	Iamhere	4	497	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholic boyfriend still lying (Preview) I haven't posted in quite a while. My alcoholic boyfriend broke up with me for around 3 weeks last year (after I asked him to get some help for his drinking) but we got back together after that and things were pretty good for a while. I can tell he's drinking more at the moment though & his behaviou...	SaraLin	5	368	Feb 9, 2017 by Iamhere
	not the road i planned on (Preview) Things have really piled up on me the past month. My rent was increased, my payment plan for one of my credit cards has expired.Im still unemployed and on unemployment and food aid. I realized that i couldnt hack the rent even if disability came through. since i ran out of choices..im going to be moving i...	YARNCRAZY	5	415	Feb 8, 2017 by andromeda
	Relapse in my recovery (Preview) I'm new to Al-anon and in recent days I've experienced something that I would call a relapse in my recovery. About a week ago I was Happy - despite outside circumstances - quite serene, feeling for the first time in a very long while spiritually quite healthy, and I still do feel that my life, my attitude...	Aline	4	388	Feb 8, 2017 by Aline
	Emotional Sobriety is my goal (Preview) I have been reading a bit on this and I don't have it all the time. I think it means maturity, not becoming anxious when I don't get my own way. When people, places and things aren't doing what I want, when things are not going my way its about accepting things just as they are, not fighting the reality, tryi...	el-cee	6	734	Feb 8, 2017 by Calm Lady
	Suicidal (Preview) I dont say these words lightly. I truely have lost all hope. Today my recovering told me he had never had romantic feelings for me. I am utterly devistated. other areas of my life are such a mess. I was hoping he was the one good thing in my life. How the hell can you spend 2.5 years with someone tallkimg abou...	tealfighter	19	1113	Feb 8, 2017 by tiredtonite
	2-8-17 One Day at a Time in ALAnon (Preview) Today's reading notes the surprise that meets many of us newcomers when we find smiling, cheerful members at our face to face meetings. How is this possible with the dreadful effects of living with the disease? We find out by attending meetings regularly, reading, and listening to the Experience, S...	Enigmatic	5	2864	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Alcoholic spouse lost his job. (Preview) (Explanation) AH who was main bread winner finally drank his way out of a job. I work a few days a week and part time. He has driven us into debt with all of his medical bills, therapy, inpatient treatment and of course alcohol consumption. Like the rest of you I have lived through tirades, drama, and m...	Groo	8	640	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	My boyfriend and I are struggling.... (Preview) Hey Everyone! I am new to the group so please bare with me. I will go ahead and say I'm not a good writer and have awful spelling/grammer. LOL! I do however have a sense of humor(dry). I am dating a man(for 2 years), when we met he had moved in with his PaPaw(grandfather) to take care of him because he i...	Mat	4	501	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	Daughters resentment (Preview) My daughter has so much resentment she is not going to heal and I am losing hope of every having a good relationship with her. SHe is drinking occasionally but otherwise white-knuckling it and not going to meetings and thus she is overcome with resentment and self pity and last night I dug a hole for mys...	churchlady62	4	460	Feb 8, 2017 by Iamhere
	ABF suddenly wants time apart (Preview) My ABF has been controlling his drinking for the last few months. He's done well drinking in moderation, even though I suspected for a while he may be doing other things to chase the high. Now suddenly, he says he needs time apart from me because he knows he can do it with me, but he needs to see if he can do...	madowl86	0	292	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Keeping quiet about what you know (Preview) Has anyone had the issue of..."I snooped and now I know condemning things about my A." I listen to him lie and lie and lie and the whole time I'm sittting here with questions that I can't ask. I strongly feel like if I brought up what I know he would become very angry. and I'm always afraid to make him upset....	madowl86	20	1292	Feb 7, 2017 by madowl86
	Sad and heart hurts and I'm angry... (Preview) Just put one of our pups in the ground; Chloe the black fuzzy wuzzy one. I am angry cause when my wife got the pup my codependence raised it's head and I started saying "No...I don't want this...I know how this goes and how it comes out" and now, this morning the prophecy has come about. She was my wife...	Jerry F	13	2598	Feb 7, 2017 by Jerry F
	Hope for Today Feb 7 (Preview) Today's reading is about how we may fall into patterns of competitiveness; comparing ourselves to others and even competing with ourselves. The reading suggests that this behavior may stem from feeling inadequate, and a fear of making mistakes in front of others. When we participate in alanon, w...	yanksfan51	3	494	Feb 7, 2017 by Iamhere
	Boundaries with an AH and Small children (Preview) I was hoping some of you might be able to share your experiences if you had/have an alcoholic husband and had small kids at home. I feel I need to set some boundaries in terms of him wanting to help me take care of our two month old (overnight feedings, etc) and our older child realizing daddy is acting weir...	LoLo23	4	473	Feb 7, 2017 by Jazzie18
	Checking in after 22 years (Preview) Hello! I'm not real sure how this online version of Alanon works. I hope that I'm not out of bounds by starting a topic to explain why I'm here. I am not currently living with or affected by an alcoholic. I learned about Alanon 26 years ago, right after I left my alcoholic/abusive husband. I was so than...	Living Free	8	617	Feb 7, 2017 by Enigmatic
	HOW DO WE HELP OUR CHILDREN COPE (Preview) Al-ateen:http://www.al-anon.org/for-alateen/how-can-i-help-my-children	luv123	2	486	Feb 6, 2017 by Jerry F
	In relationship w/Recovering Alcoholic straight out of rehab/halfway house - involved for 1 year already (Preview) Over a year ago I met a man through his ex wife who I was friends with briefly. I met him 2 months before he was sent to prison (SAFP) in Texas for 8 months and then he went into a halfway house for 3 months. He's been out almost one month. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I met him. I felt the love...	crzenner73	5	857	Feb 6, 2017 by luv123
	The Slogan: THINK (in Hope 4 2day 2/5) (Preview) I related to the topic in Hope For Today on THINK. It describes my thinking when I first came in--negative and obsessive. And how "our best thinking got us here "(or into this mess). How we learn in Al-anon how to think constructively , how to detach from our own negative thinking. I have also heard think...	luv123	2	3333	Feb 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	2/5/17 Courage to Change (Preview) Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months. The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six mont...	Enigmatic	3	393	Feb 6, 2017 by Iamhere
	What do I do? (you ask) (Preview) Working this program is going to be the hardest, yet the most rewarding thing you will ever do in your life. Anyone who has truly worked this program is not going to tell you what you should do. The only thing(s) they are going to tell you, is to come to meetings. To listen to the stories shared by others. To...	kismetstrand	6	491	Feb 6, 2017 by DavidG
	I think I'm done .. lol (Preview) Magic words I have said before, officially we are done and I am grateful! Court papers are actually filed and money is now coming directly out of his check. Now comes the fun part I have a few decisions to make and try to decide what is best for the kids and I. Still seeing my guy, still having a good time wi...	SerenityRUS	4	563	Feb 5, 2017 by lookingup
	The ODAT Reading 2-5-2017 (Preview) The ODA T reading for February 5 speaks about identifying how we feel and what we can do when we uncover some of our negative qualities. Working the Steps and attending meetings often allowed me to identify many of my negative attitudes and see that they were actually hurting me by blocking m...	hotrod	3	532	Feb 5, 2017 by lookingup
	ciumstances (Preview) well im going to be doing something, i hadnt planned. i left xah a year and 2 months ago, planning to get a job,live on my own and practice my new found indepence with alanon teachings. well economics just hit. no job found,been on unemployment etc and this week rent increased as well as some credit card d...	YARNCRAZY	5	455	Feb 5, 2017 by LinSC
	If You Have Left Relationship (Preview) Hello, I have had a AH for many years. I love my home, my relatives, my job, my husband when he is sober. He has had many months of sobriety on and off. I can't stand him when he walks in the door and I know by his mannerisms before he even gets a word out. Lately, I'm really reaching my boiling point. I rea...	wifeofalcoholic	10	720	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Courage to change 4/2 (Preview) Today's courage to change speaks of the author's relationship with their higher power, and the fact that when they are feeling unhappy, they can start to believe that their HP is punishing them. They feel that when they start to feel that way, they have lost sight of the loving nature of their HP and tha...	MissM	1	449	Feb 4, 2017 by hotrod
	Higher Powers... (Preview) was the discussion at this mornings meeting and I love to listen to the fellowship share their ESH on the subject while I review my relationship with my own HP. I love to review the experiences of how I came to meet and acknowledge my HP and then accept the personal relationship we have together now. ...	Jerry F	1	356	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Ups And Downs (Preview) Well, I've been back here for a little more than a week, saw quite a few old friends and might be making some new ones. A few people have asked how I'm doing and I'd say life has its ups and downs. I have been unemployed for almost 6 months. I experienced some health issues back in August last year, took a week...	Wolfie55	2	360	Feb 4, 2017 by Iamhere
	Funny Story .. (Preview) Ok funny not so funny, it's not program so take what you like and leave the rest. I work with a very close knit family of women .. I truly love these women they are the best and knowing that's what is waiting for me at work sometimes is what gets me out of bed in the morning .. I have been struggling with differ...	SerenityRUS	0	449	Feb 4, 2017 by SerenityRUS
	So today I am fearful (Preview) Today is a day that my mind is all over the place. It seems that whenever my ex starts chatting about our AS I start to revert back to my worry and fix mode. My AS texted my ex last night and said he wanted him to pick him up. About 45 min later he said never mind. He is with this very controlling girl and I am afrai...	Tannersmom	11	1442	Feb 4, 2017 by Peacefullyliving
	Update on John (Preview) I have been talking with a Rhonda Rowley who is a friend of John's and has been spending time with him as she is able. She has requested that I ask anyone who may be in the Wilmington, North Carolina area who can perhaps volunteer to spend some time sitting with John to give her a call. Her number is 336-447...	kismetstrand	3	431	Feb 4, 2017 by tiredtonite
	5 Year Al-Anon Anniversary (Preview) This week I will celebrate my fifth year of being a grateful Al-Anon member. In the last five years, so much has changed! When I finally got up enough courage to attend my first meeting, I had accidentally run across my AH's lab results, which showed that he had untreated diabetes and cirrhosis, and my A...	Green Eyes	11	1323	Feb 4, 2017 by Breakingfree
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.