The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's page describes the experience of a new member who came to AlAnon hoping to hear advice to get out of her relationship with an alcoholic. Instead, they heard the recommendation to avoid making a major change for six months.
The member's thinking underwent great change during the next six months, allowing the wisdom of the program to show itself. Still wrestling with what to do, and despite a strong feeling they should wait, the member decided to leave.
The conflicted feelings that followed took away any hope of peace, leaving a sense that the decision was premature. Forcing a decision before the new path was clear did not bring the peace they hoped for.
Today's Reminder: Forcing solutions is not the way to the peace we seek. Unless safety is an issue, it's often best not to take action when in doubt, and allow time, prayer and meditation to clear our thoughts.
"Guide me in all I do to remember that waiting is the answer to some of my prayers." - As We Understood...
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When I found AlAnon, I didn't think I could make it another week. After my first meeting though, I could see several things I was doing that made the situation worse. I decided to hang in there to work on making needed changes on myself, and make a decision when I was in a healthier place.
It was really challenging at times, but I am so grateful for the program guidance and the growth it allowed me to make. If I left, I might have felt less stress in the short term, but I would have kept my unhealthy perspectives and habits with me. I would continue to think I could control my way to peace and serenity; I just had to find the right situation/person.
There is no easy way to peace and serenity, and today's page reminds us of that. There's only one guarantee: if I put the focus and program effort on me, I will find more peace in my life, regardless of the circumstances. Grateful for the wisdom of the program
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Paul
"...when we try to control others, we lose the ability to manage our own lives." - Paths to Recovery
Hello Paul, Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this important subject. Learning how to stop reacting and to "respond" in a healthy fashion was a true gift of this program. Many times, prior to Al-Anon I would jump into a situation, come up with a solution and act upon it without real thought is to the best possible solution.
Al-Anon has given me the tools to stop, evaluate a situation, ask for HP's guidance and listen to the still small voice within before I act. What a gift that has been!! Also as a result, of working the steps and using the slogans, I have realized that the "priceless gift of serenity" is one of the true gift of this program and I do not surrender it easily.
Good day all - thank you Paul for the daily, your service and ESH. Thanks also to Betty and LU for your ESH.
I was all about trying to force solutions before recovery. At times, a part of me still wants to revert to old ways of thinking/doing. I'm grateful the program gives me the support, tools and steps to refrain from 'my way/my will'. When I become anxious over what I'm feeling, seeing or thinking, the power of the slogans and prayer truly have saved me over and over and over again.
So grateful for what we are given in our program - it does work when we work it and we're worth it!!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
